Tuesday Evening – Brian's Loft

A persistent knocking on his door roused a groggy Brian from the sleep he had finally managed to get after his previous night of fitful, restless tossing and turning. As he slowly opened his eyes and sat up on the couch, he noticed the elongated tendrils of night had begun to invade his loft, meaning it must be fast approaching at least 8:00 p.m. Since Justin had returned from Harrisburg, it seemed that Brian's normally predictable schedule of working at Kinnetik during the day, playing pool or eating out in the evening, and partying until the early morning hours at his newly-remodeled club or some other dance club had been shot to hell. Now he was having trouble merely figuring out what time of day it was.

He sighed as another, even firmer knock sounded on his door. "All right already! I'm coming, damn it!" he groused as he swung his legs around and stood up somewhat uncertainly on the floor; as he slowly gained his "sea legs" he ambled over to the door and slid it open to reveal a rather perturbed Daphne standing on the other side. "Why did you let him DO it?" she demanded without any preamble.

Brian didn't even bother to try and figure out how his visitor had managed to get in through the front door before he responded. "Nice to see you, too, Daphne," Brian scowled as he stood aside to let her enter.

Daphne was not intimidated, however, as she repeated, "Why, Brian? Why did you let him DO it?"

Brain frowned and shook his head; he was still too tired to register what in the hell she was trying to ask and he could feel the telltale signs of a tension headache coming on. "What the fuck are you going on about?" he snarled, as he followed her back into the living room. He sat down but noticed Daphne did not, choosing instead to pace around the open hardwood area in front of the windows.

She finally stood still long enough to repeat her question, except this time she finally made herself understood. "Why did you let him leave?" She stood rocking on her heels, her arms crossed over her chest as she defiantly stared back at him.

Brian shook his head in irritation. "What would you have had me do, Daphne? Tie him to the couch with a bucket to piss in and feed him from a fucking tray table?" He huffed out a breath of frustration; how could she NOT understand? "You know Justin probably better than anyone, except maybe me…..Do you really think making him stay here would have worked?" A thought suddenly occurred to him. "How did you know, anyway?"

"Mrs. Taylor's been helping me find a condo to buy, and she called me this morning to explain why she couldn't show me any properties today." Her face softened somewhat as she noticed Brian's look of frustration, mirroring her own. Truthfully, she was more angry at JUSTIN right now than Brian. What was WRONG with her friend? Of course, she knew the answer to that – if he was the way he should be, Justin would have never left Brian. "I'm…sorry, Brian," she finally replied, her voice a lot calmer now. "You're right…Memories or not, Justin would have resented being told to stay here. But there must be something you can do!"

Brian contorted his face. "Well, if you think of something, let me know," he muttered, running his hand through his hair. "I've exhausted about every avenue I can think of short of hiring a fucking deprogrammer or something to force him to remember. If I really thought that would work, I'd do it, too," he stated with determination. "As much as I absolutely hate it, Justin's going to have to work this out himself."

"But, Brian," Daphne persisted, grasping his forearm to get his attention as he walked over to join her. "You can't just let it go at that! You're just going to ignore him?"

Brian glanced up to meet her gaze, his eyes flashing with aggravation. "I didn't say that," he growled. "Do you really think I'm just going to let this drop? Damn it, Daphne, I love the little shit! Yes, he's driving me fucking crazy right now, but if he thinks I'm just going to accept us going our merry little separate ways, he's dead wrong!" Wincing a little at his rather poor choice of the word dead, Brian broke away from Daphne to peer out onto the street below; he noticed that Daphne simply followed him and was standing directly behind him, waiting for him to continue.

He sighed; these sessions of To Tell the Truth were still difficult for him, even now. He looked up into the reflection of Daphne's face, one that was now in companionable silence with his own. He shook his head, trying to phrase his words properly. "I'm NOT going to give up, Daphne," he promised her firmly. "It…..took me too long to find out what it means to…..love someone," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "Now that I know, I'm not going to let him give up on us. I don't care how fucking long it takes."

Daphne's eyes filled with tears at Brian's heartfelt words of determination, tinged with just a hint of sorrow and worry. When she had first met this man, she would have never thought Justin would have had a chance of breaking through his cocky, arrogant, indifferent shell. But now as she heard Brian revealing his love for his partner openly, she could hardly believe it. She wasn't surprised to hear him admit that he loved Justin – that had been obvious for some time now – but she was a little surprised to see that he would admit it to HER. Justin had always told her that even after they had almost gotten married, Brian still had a hard time saying those three words very often; her friend had told her not too long ago that he thinks Brian had only said them out loud after the bombing perhaps 4 or 5 times more. But he told her when he did say them, it only made them sound that much sweeter. Of course, Justin had indicated that Brian really didn't have to say the words much, anyway – he showed him that he loved him all the time.

She reached again for his arm to get his attention as she turned to face him. "You know I'll do whatever I can to make that happen," she vowed as her eyes blazed with determination. "You two belong together – just like soul mates."

Brian curled his lips under almost in a shy way. It was hard for him to ask for or accept help. But if it would help him get Justin back, he would take anyone's assistance. "Thanks, Daphne," he whispered with just a hint of a grateful smile.

That awkward moment thankfully over, Daphne prodded, "So what are we going to do?"

Brian smiled at her use of the word WE; he was actually grateful to have a co-conspirator in crime. He also knew that Jennifer also felt the same way, even though she was presently somewhat torn between wanting Justin and him together and needing to protect her son at the same time. He was confident, however, that when everything was said and done, she would also help him. Now all they had to do was convince a certain stubborn, confused man that it was in HIS best interest, too.

Brian smiled; for the first time since his partner had left, he actually felt a little more optimistic. So what WAS going to be their first move in Operation Justin? All he knew was that he had to see him and talk to him, somehow make him understand that if they were going to move forward, it had to be TOGETHER. After all, how could Justin ever possibly remember what the two of them had shared if Brian wasn't there to remind him? A past recollection appeared unbidden in his mind: I'm glad ONE of us remembered. That night when they had made love – their "second first time" – it had been so special and so highly anticipated; for a while, Brian had been concerned that Justin wouldn't allow him to be touched the way he wanted to touch him. That night had been bittersweet – being able to finally express his love physically for his partner again while knowing that Justin couldn't remember one of the most special nights of their lives. He sighed – ironically, that same feeling was coming to the surface again – that longing as well as regret for what had been and may never be again.

He pushed that morose thought aside; that was then, this is NOW. Well, Sunshine, I REMEMBER and it's MY turn to be there for YOU now. He just knew that he had to talk to him; only by seeing him and talking to him could he convince him to come back to the loft to try again, just like he had been able to convince Justin to return with him to Pittsburgh after the accident, even though at that point Brian had been a relative stranger to him. Justin somehow, though, knew he could trust him. Well, he was going to count on that same feeling now. "Daphne…..I really need to see him, to talk to him, to make him understand that he needs to be here with ME, not isolated where he can't be helped to recall his past. I know he won't come back here just by my asking him, but I don't want to try and talk to him somewhere in the middle of some fucking crowd. His "rise from the dead" is still pretty much a secret to most people; I don't want to draw attention to him yet, not until he's ready for it, and I sure don't feel like he IS. I'm going to be at Pulse tomorrow night for the grand reopening. You think you could get Justin over there around, say, 7:30? The club won't re-open until 10:00, so that would give us a few hours to talk privately."

Daphne frowned. "I'm not sure how he's going to react to that….he knows it's your club. Don't you think he's going to suspect what's going on? Isn't there somewhere else you can meet him?" She had her doubts as to how she could convince Justin to accompany her there; he may have lost most of his past memory, but he was bound to at least remember the place he and that doctor had visited a few weeks ago.

"Well, he won't come back here to the loft, and I'd bet he won't go over to Kinnetik, either. He won't take any of my calls, either." He pondered her comment, thinking perhaps she was right. But he felt like he was obligated to be at Pulse tomorrow for the re-opening; just like the first time he had reopened Babylon, he felt he needed to be there to determine whether it was going to be successful or not. He only hoped that this time, there would more than a dozen people in attendance. Funny, though – this time it didn't seem nearly as important in light of what had happened recently.

"I can't really get out of going there tomorrow night, and as much as I hate to admit it, Justin was right about Kinnetik. I can't neglect it totally to the point where it starts to tank." He breathed out an air of frustration. "Can't you come up with some excuse to at least be in the general vicinity? If you could, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to convince him to at least take a peek at the new club."

Daphne considered that as she thought of other shops and restaurants in the general area of Brian's club. "Well, there is a small Chinese buffet located near there," she recalled. "I could call him and see if I could talk him into going out to eat tomorrow night. I'm sure Mrs. Taylor would help me to persuade him. The buffet's about a half-block from your club – you know the one, over on Court Street?"

"Yeah," Brian responded with a slight smile of nostalgia. "Justin and I used to get take out there all the time." Before the accident. "That's a good idea, Daphne. Maybe after dinner you could suggest a walk to work off some of the ten million calories he always seems able to put away," he quipped. "You think you can do it?"

She smiled. "I will make it my special mission," she replied firmly. "And I'm sure his mother will help, too. I'll call him as soon as I get home tonight. Don't worry."

He nodded, relieved that he hopefully will see his partner again tomorrow; he had missed him so fucking much just in the short time he had been gone. Brian still couldn't sleep in their bed; the thought of being there now without his partner's warm, familiar body was too much to contemplate. The couch made his neck and back stiff, but he didn't care; as long as Justin was gone, there would be no one in their bed, including HIM. He vowed to himself that the next time he slept – or better yet, made love in that bed – Justin would be with him.

"I'm going to be counting on you, Daphne," Brian told her softly.

"It's going to work out," she told him confidently. "I know it will," she added, leaving no room for doubt as far as she was concerned. Justin had fallen in love with the man the first time he had seen him; a love like that just didn't disappear. She wouldn't let it.

She rather self-consciously pulled Brian's head down by his neck to give him a brief kiss on the cheek; there was just something about this normally self-assured man seeming so clearly vulnerable right now that just made her want to comfort him. "We'll see you tomorrow," she told him. "At least HE will – I'm going to conveniently vanish the first second he turns around," she disclosed conspiratorially as she winked at him. "I'd better get going now – I have a phone call to make."

Jennifer's Condo – Tuesday Evening

Justin stood in front of the easel, paint brush in his hand. He had spent most of the day painting and his hand was beginning to throb as a result. His face contorted as he felt a fresh wave of searing pain. "Fuck!" he cried out as he dropped the brush into a nearby can of water and grabbed his right hand with his left.

"Honey?" he heard the concerned voice of his mother filtering down from upstairs; she had suggested Justin set up his temporary "studio" down in the furnished basement, since it was more spacious and cooler than the rest of the condo. There was also a set of French doors made entirely out of glass and a row of windows set on either side of them to provide a surprisingly large amount of natural light, just perfect for an artist's perspective. She didn't like the sound of Justin's voice just then, however; after he had been painting pretty much all day, she could surmise what the problem was. Her son's hand thankfully didn't affect him as much as it used to, but sadly it did tend to act up from time to time, especially when he had been working diligently on a project non-stop. "Are you okay?" she asked him.

Justin took a deep breath; he was trying to understand his mother's concern, but it was difficult not to continue feeling like he was being treated like a sick child. He sighed as he tried to control the flash of temper trying to rise to the surface. "I'm okay," he told his mother. "I…..think I'll just take a short break, though."

Even though her son was a young adult now, Jennifer still wanted nothing more right now than to walk downstairs and comfort him. She bit back the maternal instinct, however, and sat back down on the family room couch. She told Brian she would keep a watchful eye on him, but at the same time she knew her son wouldn't care for her hovering over him the entire time. She had finally resigned herself to working on her laptop upstairs in the family room on real estate comps while her son was given some privacy downstairs to express his feelings through his art.

She had taken a peek at what he was working on earlier when he gone upstairs to his bedroom for a nap; she found herself fighting back some tears at the time as she peered at his current creation. She wasn't an art expert, but she could still see the pain, sorrow, and frustration clearly reflected in her son's work. The abstract painting was filled with angry, dark, almost threatening swirls of strong brushstrokes and foreboding, dense colors of deep gray, purple and burgundy. She recalled the works she had seen at Justin's studio in New York City a few months ago before the accident, when he had decided to definitely move back home to be with Brian – previously his main inspiration for most of his art. His pieces then had been so much happier, almost joyous in their vibrancy and color. Jennifer had always admired Justin for his ability to transfer his feelings onto canvas; but looking at how he felt right now, it was extremely upsetting to her. She only hoped this angry, painful stage in his life would be a brief, temporary one. She just didn't really know how to help him achieve that.

Her cell phone rang as she reached over to notice the caller I.D. and flip it open. "Daphne," she greeted her son's friend softly. "What's up?" Daphne had always been such a loyal, dependable friend for her son; she would be eternally grateful for that. This young woman had slowly become almost like another daughter to her, and during that horrible period a few weeks ago when both of them had thought Justin had died, they had grown even closer.

"Hi, Mrs. Taylor," Daphne greeted her warmly. "How is he?"

Jennifer kept her voice low so Justin would not overhear. "He's….hanging in there. He's downstairs working on a painting. He's been there practically all day long, Daphne. I don't think that's good for him to be so isolated from everyone right now, but on the other hand, I'm not sure how he would react to being recognized in a big crowd." The pain was evident as she continued in a choked voice, "Daphne….He needs Brian. I try to do what I can, but it's just not enough. BRIAN is the one he remembers the most, the one he feels most comfortable with. But this guilt he's carrying around is eating him up. I just don't know what to do or how to help him." She sighed – it was so difficult to see her son in so much pain and to feel helpless to do anything about it. "Maybe he needs some counseling, Daphne – I try to be there for him, but he just shuts himself off from me most of the time and wants to be alone to brood. That can't be healthy for him." At least her son wasn't acting out his frustration aggressively like before when he had been bashed and was literally throwing objects – and her, at least unintentionally – all over his bedroom. She wasn't sure, though, if this latest manifestation of his pain and frustration was a better alternative or not.

"I know, Mrs. Taylor," Daphne told her sympathetically. "But listen – I have an idea. Is Justin within hearing distance right now?"

"Hold on," she said softly as she quietly stood up and padded over to the kitchen, as far away from the open basement steps as possible and out of Justin's earshot. "Go ahead," she instructed the young woman. "What do you have in mind?"

Daphne smiled, even though she knew Jennifer couldn't see her. Jennifer could still hear the hopeful excitement in her voice. "I just got home from seeing Brian at the loft," she told the older woman. "He wants me to invite him out for dinner tomorrow night and just conveniently wind up near Babylon – Pulse, I mean. Tomorrow night is the club's grand re-opening, and Brian wants me to try and get Justin over there around 7:30 so he can talk to him privately beforehand." Her voice came out in a breathless whisper as the hope permeated clearly over the phone.

"Do you think you can do that?" Jennifer asked her somewhat skeptically. Her son may presently have a memory problem, but he was still quite intelligent as well as perceptive. She really didn't think he would fall for that subterfuge. "He's going to know something's up when the two of you just happen to wind up near Brian's club."

"Probably so," she conceded. "But I'm hoping he'll want to get out for a break and when he does realize where he is, he'll agree to at least talk to him. I know how much he still cares about Brian, or he wouldn't be so guilt-ridden over the whole thing. Now let's get this ball rolling and let me talk to him."

Yes, Ma'am, Jennifer thought with a tender smile. "Hold on, I'll get him," she told her son's friend. "And Daphne…Good Luck."

"Justin? Honey, come here – Daphne wants to talk to you."

Wednesday Morning – Harrisburg General Hospital

"Hey, Michelle," Andrew greeted his friend at the ICU nurses' station. Michelle noticed that the doctor seemed particularly cheery this morning.

"Someone's in a good mood," she observed, as she worked on finishing up her third cup of coffee. She had had to come in earlier this usual this morning and due to the change in her schedule, she found herself having a hard time staying fully awake. "Did you win the lottery or something?" she asked him teasingly.

Andrew beamed. "Not yet – but I'm hoping to soon," he answered mysteriously.

At Michelle's look of confusion, he announced, "I got Dr. Meyers to trade a shift with me, so I'm out of here in another hour."

"How come?" He stared at her as if she was being particularly dense before the proverbial light bulb turned on in her head. "Ah…" she smiled broadly now as she reached out to playfully toy with her friend's stethoscope. "Leaving a little early for your seminar in Pittsburgh, Doctor?"

Andrew smiled, knowing that he had been caught. "Maybe," he said coyly. "I just thought it might be wise to get there a day early so I can check into the hotel and get myself situated," he explained reasonably.

"Uh, huh," she said, totally not fooled. "And you might not be thinking about looking up a certain blond while you're there?" she asked him, smirking. Inside, she was actually thrilled her friend was apparently taking her advice and planning on seeking Justin out to talk to him and tell him (finally) how he really felt about him.

"Well, if I happen to stumble across him somewhere…maybe," he said; the anticipation in his voice was evident as he thought about the man who had occupied his every waking thought – and some particularly vivid dreams – lately. Finally he was going to get the chance to talk to Justin and tell him just how he felt about him; that he hadn't been able to get him out of his mind and he was falling hopelessly in love with the blond artist.

He fingered the slip of paper in his jacket pocket that had Justin's current address listed on it. He had called Dr. Keller's office yesterday afternoon and spoke to his secretary with the pretense that he was checking up on his former "patient;" through his charming manner and professional demeanor, he had managed to determine that Justin had recently moved in with his mother, Jennifer Taylor, and he had been able to obtain her address and telephone number from the woman. He had been extremely interested to learn of this latest development; so Justin was no longer staying with that arrogant Kinney, but had moved in with his mother. Did that mean the two of them had severed their relationship? Andrew allowed himself to hope that, because it would mean that finally he would have his chance to tell Justin how he felt and hopefully pursue a deeper relationship with him. Yes, things were definitely looking a lot more encouraging than before, and he was looking forward excitedly to seeing his beautiful friend again.

"Andrew….Are you listening to me?" He looked over a little embarrassed at Michelle, who was trying to get his attention. Michelle chuckled as she reached over to pat his shoulder patronizingly. "Boy, you DO have it bad," she chided him good naturedly. "I think it's a good idea for you to leave today. You obviously wouldn't have your mind on your work," she decided, winking at him.

He smiled back at her in return, not even trying to deny what he had been thinking about. "Wish me luck," he said, giving her a short, smart salute before he turned to leave. In little more a couple of hours, he would be flying to Pittsburgh and his much-anticipated reunion with Justin.

Wednesday Evening – 7:05 p.m.

Justin groaned as he and Daphne walked slowly down the sidewalk as they emerged from the restaurant. "Why did I ever decide to go back for seconds?" he moaned. "I am STUFFED more than all the wontons I ate!" He was so glad that his friend had called last night to invite him out to eat; at first he had hesitated, afraid that someone would recognize him and make a big deal out of his stunning reappearance among the living. But by the time Daphne had driven them downtown, the sun had set and night had begun to gratefully envelop them in a blanket of anonymous darkness.

Daphne laughed softly. "You went back for the same reason you always go back – your eyes are bigger than your stomach," she teased him. As Justin actually smiled a little, she was gladdened to see his spirits lifted, at least temporarily. She could almost see a small glimmer of the old Justin there somewhere in his expression. She suddenly realized with a pang of melancholy how much she missed those types of moments the two of them had shared so often in the past.

"What?" Justin asked her, noticing the abrupt change on her face. "Is something wrong?" he asked, as the two of them stopped by the side of the walkway.

She shook her head and smiled slightly. "No…..It's just when you said that…..It reminded me of the old days." The words before your accident weren't said aloud, but it wasn't needed. Both of them knew what she meant. "I've….. missed you, Justin," she told him softly.

Justin sobered at her sad, nostalgic admission; it just brought back once more how guilty he felt over his inability to remember what he had meant to all these people who cared about him. "I'm…..sorry, Daphne," he said, biting his lower lip pensively.

Damn it, Daphne lamented. Justin had actually been acting almost normally; one comment from her about his past and he had quickly reverted back to his brooding, sad self. It was evidently time to put the next part of her and Brian's plan into motion. Here goes….wish me luck. "It's okay," she said, trying to reassure him. "Why don't we work off some of your second helpings and go for a walk? There's a really cool used CD shop down the street I've been dying to check out. All my friends said it's really neat."

She watched a little apprehensively as Justin hesitated. "I don't know, Daphne," he said tentatively. "My mom's probably waiting for me at home – maybe I'd better get back." He really had no idea whether his mother was worried about him or not – for some reason he just felt nervous about being out in the open again, even under the cover of night. He and Daphne had had a pleasant time eating dinner together, and thankfully no one had seemed to recognize him. But the longer they walked down the sidewalk amongst the bustling herd of people rushing to their destinations, the more likely it was that someone would recognize and make a big deal out of it. He just didn't feel ready to deal with that yet.

"Come on, Justin," Daphne implored him, pouring on the neediness. She just HAD to convince him to walk with her – just by sheer coincidence right by Brian's club. "Your mom knows you're with me – she'll be fine with it. Besides, she told me Tucker was coming over to her condo for dinner. You don't want to be a third wheel while he's there, do you?" She had no idea whether Tucker was going over there tonight for dinner or not – she had just experienced an epiphany of inspiration and was using it to her definite advantage as she poured on the persuasion.

"Tucker? My mother's boyfriend?" Justin hadn't met the man yet, but his mother had described her relationship with him. Apparently her mother had been seeing this man for almost two years now, so it must be serious. Daphne was right, though – the last thing he wanted to do was stay home while his mother was entertaining some man who was involved with her – he didn't know this man at all and besides, it just felt kind of…..weird.

"Yeah…..Simple choice here. Would you rather hang out with me at some cool used CD shop, or be delegated to the basement at your mom's house until her boyfriend leaves? That is, IF he leaves….."

"Daphne," Justin retorted a little crossly. "She wouldn't do that." At least he hoped she wouldn't – he would definitely feel awkward knowing that this man was spending the night there with his mother.

He finally conceded maybe staying with Daphne for the rest of the evening might not be such a bad idea; he had actually enjoyed himself for the most part tonight. He had needed this type of diversion from the roller coaster ride that had been his life lately. "Okay…..Let's go check it out, then," he decided to Daphne's enormous relief.

As they wandered idly down the street, she prayed that Brian was ready for what might be one of the most important nights of his life. I've done my part, Brian – it's up to YOU now.

Pulse – same time

Brian flipped the switch that would turn the sound system on. Despite Ted's assurances earlier today that everything was ready for the big re-opening later tonight, he wasn't taking any chances. He was gratified to see that the lighting system was performing perfectly as the two-tiered, chrome and black marble floor rotated slowly; now the next, big test was the pulsating, throbbing techno music that was so much a part of any gay dance club. After all, if fags were expected to want to dance (and by natural progression, drink) they had to have a state-of-the-art sound system blasting music out for their enjoyment – whether they were interested in dancing with their latest date-du-jour or just plain fucking someone's brains out in the refurbished back room.

The heart-stopping, rapid beating of the newest songs currently being played on some of the hippest radio stations in Pittsburgh began to loudly permeate the room as Brian smiled in relief; at least the club was on schedule to re-open tonight as planned. Now all he needed was for Daphne to provide him with the opportunity to talk to his partner and convince him to come back to him. She had managed to text him at the Chinese restaurant about 30 minutes ago when they were about to leave; she had promised to try and text him again later to let him know if she had been successful in talking Justin into approaching the club. Come on, Daph…..I'm COUNTING on you here. Without Justin back in his life, this club didn't mean a fucking thing to him.

He turned off the blasting music, a little startled by the abrupt change into absolute silence. The only sound he could hear now was the rapid beating of his heart and the ragged breathing of his lungs as he anxiously anticipated seeing Justin again. He gave a soft sigh as he swung himself down from the DJ's booth and stood in the center of the dance floor. A wave of memories washed over him – SO many wonderful memories of him and Justin dancing together here as if they were one body. He recalled the night they had finally, thankfully been reunited again after that horrible period when Justin had taken off with that…..fiddler.They had fucked and made love over and over again that night in his office and at the loft before they had dressed up in their dancing clothes and returned triumphantly to this place. Once they had taken up residence in the middle of the dance floor, no one else mattered; they only had eyes for each other. What a glorious night that had been! And it had been one of several hundred nights spent in this place. Dancing with Justin here the other night had been so wonderful, feeling him in his arms as they swayed to the music. He hoped that he would be doing that again tonight – before the two of them returned to his loft – their loft – together.

He had been lost so deeply in melancholy thoughts of nostalgia that he jumped a little as he heard his phone chime to sound notice that a text had been received. His heart began to beat faster as he flipped the phone open to read Daphne's message. We're on our way…Good Luck. D. Closing his eyes in relief, he rushed over to the entrance to await his partner's imminent arrival.

As Andrew drove down the unfamiliar roads of downtown Pittsburgh, he was grateful for his rental car's GPS, because in the cloudy, moonless night he only had this piece of technology and an occasional street light to help him navigate the confusing streets. Although he had been disappointed to find out that his former roommate wasn't at home when he had called earlier, Justin's mom, Jennifer, had been more than gracious about divulging where he had gone. She had told her son's former doctor that he and a friend, Daphne, had gone out to eat at a Chinese buffet on Court Street. Now, loaded with this piece of important information, he slowed down as he began to scour the storefronts on either side for signs of a building befitting the description that Justin's mother had provided him.

He knew this was rather silly; he could have simply waited until tomorrow and shown up at Justin's mother's doorstep. However, he was due at the seminar first thing on Thursday and more importantly, he just couldn't wait any longer – he HAD to see this incredible man again.

Oddly enough, as he continued to slowly cruise the street where the Chinese restaurant was supposed to be located, he began to experience an odd feeling of déjà vu as if he had somehow been here before. Why in the hell would this seem familiar? The only other time he had been in Pittsburgh was when he had agreed to drive Justin here to visit Babylon, the ill-fated club that had been bombed several months ago. Was it possible this restaurant was located nearby?

His musing vanished quickly, however, as he finally spied the name of the Chinese buffet Justin's mother had mentioned – The Golden Rooster. Spying a nearby parking spot, he pulled his rental car into the slot and shoved sufficient coins in the parking meter before he rushed toward the entrance. Opening the door eagerly, he looked out over the large dining room anxiously for a sign of his former patient and roommate. His shoulders drooped as he finally realized his hoped-for reunion with his former roommate was not going to happen, at least not right now. He sighed in frustration; he had been so close. Justin's mother had told him that her son's friend, Daphne, had picked him up at 6:15 for dinner; it was now just barely after 7:00. How was it possible that the two friends could have left Mrs. Taylor's home at 6:15, driven down here and already been done eating? It just didn't seem possible.

He looked around the sidewalk in defeat as he re-emerged from the restaurant. He was just about to give up before he happened to spot a golden-haired, slender man walking next to a curly-haired brunet woman under a streetlight just down the street.

It HAD to be Justin – he thought he could recognize him anywhere. As he watched, the man turned to say something to his companion and his heart leapt. He had been right – it WAS Justin. He debated whether to rush back to his parked rental and follow him in the car; however, he was afraid if he took the time to do that, he would run the risk of losing sight of him and he HAD to talk to him. Making a spontaneous decision, then, he took off briskly after his target, his slightly taller stature benefitting him as he kept a trained eye on his former roommate.

"How much farther?" Justin asked his friend curiously as they strolled companionably, pausing here and there to window shop at some of the store windows selling clothing, collectibles, and various gifts ranging from a gothic theme to science fiction. Justin had to admit he was enjoying just being outside like any other "normal" person on a nice, warm evening, and so far no one had seemed to notice they were walking amongst a living "miracle."

Daphne pretended to be mesmerized by a nearby window displaying incense containers as she answered casually, "Not far." Not far at all to Brian's club. "Just about another block or so." She was relieved that Justin didn't seem to realize where they were and how close they were coming to Pulse; if he DID, she had a feeling he would be protesting vehemently at her ruse. She didn't care, though – she decided if it helped bring her best friend and his partner back together, it would be worth any possible wrath she may incur.

From an artist's perspective, Justin found the twinkling faux gaslight streetlamps and the lighted display windows fascinating, as well as the people watching. It seemed that every type of nationality and body type were passing them by – all ages, hair colors, and fashion styles from the conservative businessman to the flamboyant self-appointed nelly queens in their sparkling spandex and shiny leather pants. They all thankfully seemed to pay him no mind as he and Daphne meandered farther down the street, closer and closer to Brian's club.

As they neared Pulse, Daphne noticed her friend slowing down and frowning. "What is it?" she asked, afraid that he was suffering some sort of physical effect from his injury. Jennifer had assured her that Dr. Keller had advised Justin that his outward injuries from the accident were healing satisfactorily, but she couldn't quite fathom the odd expression that had suddenly appeared on her friend's face. "Are you okay?" she asked him, concerned.

Justin slowed to a stop, his eyebrows narrowing in growing suspicion. "I've….been here before," he declared firmly. "Haven't I?" he asked Daphne. He continued to stand there, puzzled but nonetheless certain that he had seen some of the same scenery before, but how? He searched his troubled, damaged mind for the answers for several seconds until a flash of revelation fell into place. "This is near Brian's club," he told her in a wary tone of voice. "Isn't it?" He looked over at Daphne, who had become strangely quiet, but he already knew the answer by the guilty look that had appeared on her face.

He huffed angrily, "You set me UP, didn't you? You purposely led me here to Brian's club! Why?"

Daphne winced at the accusatory tone of Justin's voice. "Justin….." she began, trying to explain.

"NO, Daphne!" he cut her off abruptly. "I don't want to hear it!" He shook his head and placed his hands defiantly on his hips. "I can't fucking believe THIS! You didn't call me just to ask me out for dinner and you didn't suggest a walk just to check out some CD store…you and Brian are in on this together, aren't you? I don't BELIEVE this!" he cried, his eyes blazing. He turned around to start walking back in the direction of her car – anywhere but here, in front of Brian's club. He already felt tremendous guilt over his inability to return his partner's feelings for him and he was the last person he could face at the moment. Didn't anyone understand? The constant pain, the constant grief, the constant questioning why? Didn't they realize that every second he was awake and every dream he remembered focused on what he had lost and what Brian had sacrificed for him? Didn't they realize how that made him feel? And now the person who he thought was his best friend, his confidante, had tried to lead him straight back to his partner's presence so he could once again feel the pangs of remorse and regret all over again. It was too much; he just couldn't deal with that pain any more.

"Justin!" Daphne cried out as he moved farther and farther away; they had been so close – so close to he and Brian trying to talk out their concerns and hopefully reach an agreement to work together to begin their relationship anew. Now, Justin was filled with anger over her plan to help him, and Brian and was once again left alone. She closed her eyes and sighed as she thought of what a tangled, complicated mess everything had become all of a sudden. There was no use in trying to catch up with Justin, either – his longer legs were quickly carrying him quickly away from her and Brian's plans for a reconciliation.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Daphne heard her name being called behind her as Brian came rushing up to her side. "Where's Justin?" he asked anxiously, unable to keep the excited hope from sounding in his voice. He looked around quickly as he tried to spy his partner nearby. His face dropped, however, as he followed her line of vision and saw his partner halfway down the street. His heart dropped, also, as he recognized a man quickly approaching his partner from the opposite direction – the man who had taken care of his partner in Harrisburg and had made no effort to hide his personal interest in him. Brian's face flushed with anger as he continued to stare at the man whose face lit up as soon as he noticed Justin coming toward him.

Justin was so upset over being tricked into meeting with Brian that he continued to stride angrily away from Daphne, his head down as he paid no mind to the numerous bystanders passing him by. He jumped and let out a surprised gasp as someone firmly grasped his upper arms. "Justin!" he heard a familiar, male voice calling him, but it wasn't Brian's voice he heard – it was someone else's. He looked up in shock, instead, at the smiling, delighted face of his former roommate. "Andrew?" he said softly, puzzled. "What are you doing here?" he asked him in surprise.

Andrew was absolutely thrilled to find Justin, but noticed immediately how upset he appeared; his face was contorted as if he was in pain and his breathing was hard and raspy. "Looks like you could use a friend right about now - let's go somewhere and talk, huh?" he suggested, as he rubbed his hands soothingly up and down the blond's forearms and smiled tenderly at him. Despite Justin's somewhat agitated state, Andrew thought he had never looked more beautiful; God, how he had missed this man.

Justin hesitated; was this simply going from the flame into the fire? He needed to talk to someone desperately, however, and Andrew had always been so easy to talk to. He bit his lip in indecision; he didn't understand how Andrew happened to be here at this moment, but maybe it was fate; he truly needed a friend to tell his worries to. He finally nodded, hoping earnestly that he was doing the right thing; hia mind was in an absolute turmoil at the moment. "Okay," he said softly. "I could use a sympathetic ear right now," he whispered, his eyes abruptly beginning to shine with unshed tears. He was so tired of all the sadness, all the frustration.

"Come on, then," Andrew told him softly, turning Justin around and placing a comforting hand around his shoulder. "My car's right down here," he told him. He was speaking calmly to Justin, but inside his heart was doing fucking flip-flops; finally he would have his chance to tell Justin how he felt.

Brian stared at the surreal scene playing out right before his eyes; he couldn't believe that this arrogant doctor who had been after his partner all along was not only here in Pittsburgh, but was speaking to Justin right now. This HAD to be much more than just a coincidence; Bradley had to have planned this meeting. And from the looks of things, Justin wasn't exactly rebuffing his advances. He watched, stunned, as Bradley placed an arm around Justin's shoulders and willingly led him away. The razor-like pain stabbing through him at that moment was too much like another time when Justin had walked away with someone else at Babylon. He didn't think he could go through that agony again.

"Who IS that?" Daphne questioned him, her mouth hanging open as she watched someone who was a stranger to her approach Justin and after a few minutes lead him away. She had never seen this man before in her life, and she thought Justin told her everything. Of course, that was BEFORE the accident. As she watched Justin conversing relatively easily with this other man, she decided maybe in truth she didn't know him that well anymore. She looked over concerned at Brian, whose face was radiating pain and fading hope as his eyes followed his partner walking away from him – maybe away from their life, too.

Brian sighed angrily. "It's the fucker that took care of Justin after his accident, the ER doctor in Harrisburg."

Daphne studied the smaller version of Brian walking away with Justin. "That's Dr. Bradley?" She had heard about him from Jennifer and knew he had not only treated Justin at the hospital but had also taken him in as a roommate afterward. She hadn't realized at the time, though, that this man apparently had more than a professional interest in her friend. Now, as she watched the man rubbing his hands on Justin's forearms and smiling at him, it was obvious he wanted to be more than just a doctor to him.

Brian glared daggers at the retreating form. "Yeah," he hissed. "That's HIM." He could barely respond in a civil manner – he was too angry at the moment; angry not only at this interloper, but if he was being honest with himself, angry with Justin, also, for falling for this man's charms. He knew if his partner's memory was intact at the moment, he would have never walked away with the man – and away from HIM.

Daphne waited impatiently for Brian to move – to DO something. "Well?" she asked him in disbelief. "Aren't you going to go after him?"

Brian stood there several seconds as if his feet were encased in cement before he sadly shook his head. "No, Daphne – I fucking love him but I'm tired of running after him." He watched his hopes receding the farther his partner walked away from him. "I…..I just can't do it anymore," he whispered, defeated. "I thought I would never give up, but maybe it's time I accept reality. He's never going to remember what we had." He felt the tears beginning to appear in his eyes; before they had a chance to fall, he straightened his shoulders as he told her, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a club to re-open." He looked one last time at his partner's profile before he turned and walked purposely back into the club, leaving a disbelieving Daphne in his wake. He waited until the front door was firmly closed and he was safely inside alone before he leaned his head against the cold, steel door and mourned silently for what he had lost.