Liberty Diner – Same Evening

"Hi, Honey!" Deb shouted at her son, as he and Ben entered the eatery and took a place at the counter. "How's my favorite son and his hubby?" she exclaimed exuberantly, even more boisterously than normal. Ever since they had found out that Justin was alive, all of life's ups and downs had suddenly seemed so much easier to handle and Debbie was almost dancing on air.

"Hey, Maw," Michael answered, reaching over the counter to give his mom a quick kiss on the cheek as Ben smiled at her. "Can I get a hamburger with onion rings and a Coke?"

The redhead nodded as she wrote the order down on her pad. "And for the Dali Lama of the intellectual world?" she cracked at Ben, smiling as she peered over at the other man.

He grinned at her nickname for him. "Oh…..let's go with the veggie burger tonight and a side salad with the light ranch dressing, Deb…. thanks." As she nodded and turned to leave, they could actually hear her humming some sort of nondescript tune to herself.

Michael watched her rush off in amusement. "She's on fucking cloud nine since she heard about Justin being alive," he told his husband. Shaking his head, he added, "Shit – I still can't believe it, can you? I mean, what a roller coaster ride it's been the past two weeks! Brian's gone from being as far down a hole as you can to being on the biggest high he's ever been on. I mean, did you SEE him, Ben? He looked like a whole different person yesterday," he observed thoughtfully. "He…looks more like the Brian I know – NOT the shell who's been walking around like a zombie for the past two weeks."

Ben nodded. "Yeah, I know. The difference is pretty astounding, isn't it? The man looks totally different. I mean, I think we all knew he loved Justin in his own odd, Brian Kinney way," he said, smirking a little; "I know the bombing scared him shitless and woke him up to a lot of things, but until this happened, I don't think he, or anyone else for that matter, really realized just how much he DID love him."

Mike pursed his lips together. "I'm trying hard not to be upset with Justin about what's happened." He warily glanced over at his mate. "I know, I know," he quickly added, as he noticed Ben's look of surprised disapproval. "I KNOW he can't help what happened, Ben, really I do. Justin and I have had our differences, but we've actually become friends over the past few years. But still….I just can't help feeling that he's about to break Brian's heart."

Ben looked at him in shock. "What the hell are you talking about, Michael? How could you think that? Weren't YOU the one who told me Justin was on his way home permanently to be with Brian when the accident happened?"

Michael fidgeted somewhat uncomfortably on the hard, rubber stool; he hated to feel this way – he really did like Justin – but it was still an unfortunate truth. "Yes," he admitted grudgingly. "He was. But, Ben, that was before the accident; before he lost his memory, including his feelings for Brian." He let out a small huff of breath as his brown eyes peered intently over at his mate. "I'm just afraid they'll never be able to recapture what they had, and Brian's going to get hurt, that's all." For everything that he and Brian had gone through – their sometimes rocky relationship over the past few years especially – he was still, and always would be, his best friend, the one who always looked out for him; he couldn't help it.

Ben didn't have the opportunity to refute Michael's statement before Debbie returned with their orders. Placing their china plates down in front of them, she noticed their rather solemn expressions. "What's with you two?" she asked. "You haven't even tried the food yet," she cracked. When neither man so much as smiled, she frowned. "Okay, out with it. What's up?" She stood there, one chubby, lacquered hand on her hip as she stared at her son pointedly until he finally sighed. He really didn't want to get into this with her, but he knew it was inevitable.

"I told Ben that I'm afraid Brian is in for more disappointment," he murmured, not quite able to look his mother in the eye; he knew how much she loved Justin just like another son, the same as she did Brian, actually.

"What do you mean, in for more disappointment?" she asked, her eyebrows narrowing in puzzlement. "Sunshine's back home where he belongs! How could Brian possibly be in for more disappointment?" she almost shouted. "He's fucking ecstatic! Did you see the same man I saw over at the loft today?"

Michael quickly shushed her, looking around to see if they were overheard. "Maw…..will you keep it down? Brian doesn't want everyone to get wind of this just yet. You saw how the press buzzed around Justin the last time he was in the news – if they find out now that he was the only survivor of the train crash, they won't leave him OR Brian alone!"

Debbie rolled her eyes at her son's reproachful tone, but she nonetheless lowered her voice; she didn't want one of her "sons" to be harassed, either, and she knew how all the attention had affected Justin the first time. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of the same thing. She was perfectly willing to let Justin and Brian handle it on their own terms, as long as it meant Sunshine was back where he belonged and alive. "Okay, okay," she responded more softly this time. "But you'd better explain yourself, Michael Novotny."

Michael bit his lip slightly in reluctance; he had a good idea what his mother's reaction would be, and chances are it wouldn't be a pleasant one.

Ben, however, wouldn't let it slide. "Well, go on, Michael…..tell her what you told ME." He gave his husband a look that clearly said, if you won't tell her, I will.

Two pairs of eyes bored into him until he sighed and finally muttered in resignation, "All right." He took a deep breath of fortitude. "I'm just worried that if Justin doesn't get his memory back, Brian will be in for major disappointment because Justin won't remember how he felt about him. And if they can't get back what they had, Brian's going to go off the deep end. I really think he'll never open his feelings up for anybody ever again; Justin was – and is – the only one who could ever make him vulnerable. If they lose that bond, Brian won't let himself be exposed again. I know him – he'll either clam up so tight no one will be able to get through to him, or he'll be out again every night fucking every guy in Pittsburgh, smashed to the gills, or high on the latest god-awful boutique drug that Anita can come up with for him."

Debbie shook her head; did her son really have so little faith in his friend – and in the man who had accomplished what no one else had ever been able to do? She sighed in disappointment over her son's seemingly little conviction. "Michael…..you can be a fucking naysayer all you want. I, for one, will never in a million years believe that Justin won't get back what he has lost. That boy is stronger than you give him credit for. I mean, look what he went through after the prom! It took a hell of a lot for him to come through his treatment, and he did – better and stronger for it. Not only that – he had to deal with a fucking homophobe father who didn't deserve the kind of son he had anyway, the horrible bombing at Babylon – yes, I know, you did, too, but don't change the subject," she hastily added before her son could interrupt her. "He's also had to deal with getting established alone in New York, not to mention his and Brian's separation for several months after the Rage party. Have you forgotten, by the way, how he pursued Brian and won him back then? That all took courage, Michael, and that boy's going to fight his way back no matter WHAT. So you can believe what you want – just don't go pulling Brian down WITH you," she demanded as she reached down to not-so-gently grasp her son's chin to bring his eyes up to meet her defiant ones. "You just stay the hell out of it and let them resolve it on their own, do you HEAR?" She gave him a not-so-gentle slap on his cheek for emphasis.

Michael huffed a small breath of anger before he finally cast his eyes downward in defeat. He softly muttered, "Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I'll…stay out of it," he spat it out with distaste, even though he still didn't agree with her opinion. He couldn't help having major doubts that Brian and Justin's relationship could be repaired, but he was willing – albeit extremely reluctantly – for them to try and work it out on their own. He figured he at least owed Brian the chance to try and regain what he was so desperately hoping for.

Debbie smiled serenely now. "That's better." She looked over at Ben, who grinned back at her in amusement. "I'm going to expect you to see that he keeps his promise," she flatly told him, offering no room to disagree.

Ben plastered on a solemn face. "Yes, ma'am," he dutifully responded, as Michael looked over at him as if he had been betrayed by his biggest advocate.

Debbie nodded, satisfied that the conversation was settled appropriately. "Good. Now EAT," she commanded. "Before the food gets even colder." She abruptly turned on her heel and rushed over to the chef's window as the "order up!" shout resounded in the diner. "Keep your fucking apron on, Emeril Lagasse – I'm coming!" she shouted, as she stuck her pencil behind one wigged ear and hurried to grab the next diner's plate.

Brian's Loft – Late Evening

Justin and Daphne looked up from the couch as they heard the heavy metal door to Brian's living quarters sliding open. The brown-haired woman couldn't help the look of anticipation that suddenly appeared on her friend's face as he anxiously waited for Brian to enter; even though Justin had memory issues from the accident, to Daphne it was still readily apparent that somewhere in the muddled recesses of her friend's mind, he still knew what this man meant to him. They just had to find a way to rewire the circuits so he could remember it all.

As Brian slid the door back to close it, he turned quickly to immediately locate his partner, who, to his relief, was sitting quietly on the couch close to Daphne. "Hey," he softly called out to them as he tugged on his tie to loosen it; he hated wearing the fucking nooses when he had to, so the first thing he always did when he got home from wearing his respectable business clothes was pull the damn tie OFF. Of course, normally if Justin was home, and they were alone, the rest of his business clothes would quickly be discarded as well – normally by his extremely impatient lover. He bit back a sigh as he realized that that tantalizing scenario would likely NOT be happening tonight, however. He forced himself to smile politely, instead, and asked the pair, "Everything going okay?" as he took a few seconds to walk over to the fridge to open the door and retrieve a bottle of spring water.

Daphne met his eyes and tried to return his smile encouragingly; while Brian had been gone, she wouldn't exactly say she and Justin had had any major breakthroughs, but at least she could say her friend definitely seemed to feel more comfortable around her, a fact she was heartened by. It was a start, at least, hopefully the beginning of more encouraging signs to come. "Everything's fine," she told him, smiling over at Justin to reassure him. She noticed the two men seemed to only have eyes for each other at the moment, however; deciding this would be a good time to exit, then, she rose quietly. "I…..think I should go," she announced softly. "It's getting kind of late, and I have class early tomorrow," she explained in apology.

"What kind of classes are you taking?" Justin asked her curiously; he was discouraged to realize he should already KNOW but obviously didn't.

"Pre-med, mainly," she responded, as she rolled her eyes. "If you ask ME, I prefer to call it pre-torture. I fully expect the professor to wheel out a prisoner's rack and ball and chain any time now if we don't turn all our homework in on time," she cracked. She was happy to see that Justin actually laughed at little at her joke; she had really missed her friend's smile most of all. She couldn't help returning his smile as she leaned down to give him a small kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you soon, okay?" she promised him, as he nodded at her in agreement.

"Thanks, Daphne, for keeping me company while Brian was gone…..and for replacing him as my substitute nursemaid," he kidded her, as Brian looked over at him innocently. Even with his memory impaired, Brian realized his partner was still on to him.

Daphne laughed softly now; it was so good to kid with her best friend, even if they DID have a long road to travel yet. "Any time, Justin. I have faith in you. You were always the best one at keeping him in line, anyway," she divulged to him as she winked.

As she turned to go, she walked over to Brian, suddenly appearing older and more mature than he had remembered; when did this girl – no, young woman – grow up so quickly when he wasn't looking? Something rippled between them just then – a mutual, shared appreciation of finding something precious that they both thought had been lost forever – as she felt the strong need to reach up and place both of her smaller hands on his upper arms to kiss HIM on the cheek, also. She saw Brian smile slightly – a silent expression of thanks and gratitude for helping the man he loved to begin the path on an eventual road to his recovery – before she softly told him, "I'll be back." He nodded briefly before she gently disengaged from their loose embrace to head toward the door. "Call me if you need anything," she told her friend. "And I'll be back over soon, okay?"

"Okay," Justin answered softly. "And, Daphne…..thanks. I'm…..glad you're my friend."

Daphne twisted her mouth. "BEST friend," she corrected him tenderly. "Don't forget that," she added, as she opened the door with surprising strength and walked through the open doorway; taking one more quick glance over at the couch to make sure the evening hadn't just been some type of wonderful dream, she quietly closed it behind her, leaving Justin and Brian alone once again.

Brian smiled down at Justin gently; even after a couple of days, the sight of his partner sitting there, relatively whole and looking so fucking beautiful, took his breath away. As Justin returned his smile somewhat uncertainly, Brian took that as sufficient encouragement to join him. "Are you hungry?" he asked the blond, as he sat down close to him. He just couldn't help himself as once again he reached for the pale, slender hand resting on the couch so close to his own; his heart warmed as Justin openly accepted the affectionate gesture by curling his own fingers around his palm in response. He marveled silently at the softness and warmth he so immediately noticed; how wonderful just that simple touch felt at the moment.

Justin shook his head. "I'm fine," he assured him. "Daphne managed to scrounge up enough food to get me stuffed."

Brian snorted. "I never knew that was possible," he teased his partner gently, receiving a somewhat surprised look in return. "Don't look so shocked, Sunshine. For someone who's so slender, you can pack away a fucking truckload of food in a short amount of time. Besides, I didn't really think I had much food in the loft." Brian hadn't set foot in his place in almost two weeks; the last thing he had been worried about lately was eating. His stomach had been churning with nausea so much over Justin's death; until now he hadn't given much thought to eating. Now that Justin was back home, however, he made a mental note to order some groceries to be delivered tomorrow. No matter HOW much Justin didn't remember, he had a feeling his appetite hadn't changed – for food, anyway. Hopefully, he would get his other appetite back soon for HIM, or Brian was liable to die from sexual starvation. He tried to banish that unfortunate, terrible thought from his mind as he noticed his partner suddenly erupt with a wide, verbal yawn and smile sheepishly. "Sorry," he told the brunet. "I'm guess I'm a little tired after all that food."

Brian twisted his mouth skeptically. "I don't think it's just the food, Sunshine. You've had a long day and I think we're both forgetting you were in the hospital less than two weeks ago. Time for you to get some more rest."

"But, Brian, I…."

"No argument, Justin," Brian told him firmly in a non-nonsense manner. He pointed toward the bedroom.

Justin sulked slightly as he glared at the other man's command. He had already made him take a two-hour nap earlier today; what did he think he was – a toddler? But he could tell from Brian's expression that he was NOT going to back down. "All right," he finally acquiesced, although he still wasn't happy about it; his mind was still whirling with information he had gleaned from his conversation with Daphne, Michael, his mother, Debbie, and …what was his name? Ben. As he rose to stand, he noticed Brian giving him a rather odd look. Was he debating whether or not he wanted to join him in their bed? Perhaps he was asking for too much from him; through the dreams he had been having of his partner, he already knew Brian was an extremely voracious man when it came to sex. Was it fair, then, to expect him to share a bed with him and not be able to participate in his favorite activity?

"What?" Brian replied softly with a slight edge of exasperation; his partner could be so damn stubborn sometimes. "You're not going to still argue with me about this, are you?"

Justin stood up to face the other man, shuffling somewhat uncomfortably on his feet. "No," he whispered. "It's not that."

Brian looked at him puzzled. "Then what is it?" He noticed Justin looking at him in unaccustomed awkwardness.

"I…..We…..Shit!" he exclaimed in frustration, as Brian stared at him uncomprehendingly. This was ridiculous; after all, this man was his partner. His LIFE partner. The man he was supposed to love and the man he was supposed to be building a life with. Why was this so fucking hard, then?

Brian held back a temptation to probe into just what his partner was concerned about, deciding instead to try and let him work it out in his head alone. After a few seconds of silence, Justin finally whispered, "We can…..you know…..if you want to, that is."

Brian frowned; if I want to what? Furiously racking his brain to try and figure out just what the blond was implying, he continued to stare at the other man's obvious self-consciousness for several seconds before he finally put two and two together and a light bulb went on in his head. His head warred with the physical reaction his body was beginning to have just at the thought of being with his partner again – in the full, true sense of the word – before he roughly tamped it down. "You mean fuck?" he blurted out; he wanted to make sure they were talking about the same subject here. Justin didn't have to answer him, however; his reddening face and nervous expression told him everything he needed to know. Justin finally nodded his head in confirmation anyway.

Brian briefly closed in eyes; God, if he only knew how much he wanted to do just that. He wanted to sweep him up right now into his arms, carry him to their bed, and fuck him for the next month, never letting him out of their bed the entire time. He had felt that way virtually from the first second he had laid eyes on him again. But that wasn't the way he wanted it to be; not with this man who meant so much to him and who firmly held his heart in his hands.

He slowly walked over to the blond, whose eyes were cast down from embarrassment that he even had to bring the subject up; by now, their mutual desire should have been instantly transmitted by just a look between them.

"Sunshine…..Let me get something straight with you. Yeah – we could walk over to our bed and I could fuck you senseless; in fact, I've dreamed about nothing else since the first second I saw you again," he admitted to the other man, who looked up somewhat in surprise. "But I won't do that. You want to know why?"

Justin nodded silently, shocked, his eyes unable to leave the hazel ones looking back at him so intently, so deeply. "Because you are so much more than just a casual fuck. Because when we…" God, why was it so damn hard just to SAY the words? He took another breath to begin anew, "Because…..when we make love again, I want to see that look in your eyes that you always get when we're together. That looks that tells me that you love me, that I'm the only man in your life, and will always be the only man in your life; that I'm your partner in every sense of the word. And as much as it pains me to say it, right now it isn't there," he flatly informed him truthfully.

Shit. He cursed at himself as he saw the tears immediately forming in the soft blue eyes. He immediately walked the short distance separating them to place his shoulders firmly on the other man's upper arms. "Now don't you fucking do that, Justin Taylor," he admonished the other man gently. His right arm reached out to tenderly grasp the pale chin and raise the blue eyes to force them to look at him. "No, Justin. Don't you go blaming yourself again, and don't you DARE apologize to me. We've already been through this, Sunshine." Justin closed his eyes to try and prevent the tears that still managed to escape from his eyes in regret and shame; no matter HOW many times Brian told him it wasn't his fault, he would still feel somehow responsible for the change in their relationship. He opened his eyes when he felt two gentle thumbs brush the tears from his dampened cheeks as Brian's hands cradled his face.

Brian pulled Justin into his arms and wrapped his own long hands tightly around his back; he heard the blond sniffle a little and tremble in his arms, the beating of his lover's heart tapping out a furious rhythm of pain and sorrow against his own chest. Brian nestled his head on top of Justin's soft blond hair as he whispered to him, "We WILL get through this, Justin. That's a promise, okay? And we'll come out even stronger for it, you'll see." Brian only wished he could be as sure of that as he made it sound.

They stood that way for several minutes, neither man speaking aloud but saying volumes in their embrace. Hold me, protect me, love me, don't give UP on me, on US. Finally, Brian heard Justin issue a strong, resigned sigh before he finally loosened his hold far enough to stare into the other man's eyes. They were still glistening with the tears he had shed, but at least he was no longer crying. He noticed Justin eyes searching his face as if he were trying to commit it again to memory – a new memory. Brian smiled back at him slightly as if to say, it will be okay – you'll see, before Justin nodded as if in response and finally pulled away from the brunet. "I…I'm going to go lie down now," he said softly. He started to walk away a little before he slowly turned around and whispered, "Come with me?" as he reached out his hand to his partner in invitation.

Brian's breath caught in his throat at the plaintive, almost desperate question contained in that voice. He pursed his lips together – partly to keep his own eyes from shedding tears at the man's lost-sounding tone, but also to give him time to find his own voice again. Brian simply nodded, reaching out to join their two hands together; as he felt the familiar jolt of contact, he wound his arm around Justin's waist and walked with him to the bedroom.

He broke contact with Justin long enough to unbutton his shirt and shed it; he quickly reached for a nearby hanger and hung it up in the closet; his pants quickly joined it. A quick kicking of his shoes succeeded in doffing the leather loafers, and he quickly bent down to peel off his socks, leaving him clad only in his rather tight, black briefs.

He turned around tentatively, in total disbelief that he, Brian Kinney of all people, could actually feel hesitant in front of another man, to stare at his partner, who, to his relief and satisfaction, was looking back at him with desire. It still wasn't the expression that he wanted from Justin – the one that said I'm yours, only yours forever. But it was a start; a basis to build upon.

Justin looked down quickly, aware that the elegant, handsome brunet had caught his admiring stare.

"Justin." He heard Brian call out to him softly, as he noticed the brunet shaking his head. "Don't ever feel bad about looking at me like that – trust me, Sunshine, I like it; a LOT."

Justin nodded and blushed, emboldened to take his own clothes off now. After fairly efficiently removing his shoes and socks and placing them on the nearby floor, he slowly pulled his long-sleeved tee shirt up over his head, noticing Brian's eyes lighting up at the sight, before he turned around to begin unbuttoning his pants. He thought he heard Brian's breath hitch in his chest as he bent over to discard the pants on the floor as well, leaving him, like Brian, clad only in a white pair of briefs. Before turning around, he bit his lip in anticipation of the other man's reaction before he risked a glance back at his partner. Partially to his relief, he found that Brian had proceeded to slide under the duvet and was already under the covers by the time he had turned around; he silently thanked him for the thoughtfulness before walking over to his side of the bed to join him.

As Justin lay on his side closely facing his partner now, Brian turned on his side, also, to stare at the blue eyes he knew so well. A tanned, lean hand reached out from the under the covers to briefly caress the soft blond bangs before Brian whispered, "Good night, Sunshine. Sleep well." He started to drop his hand back to his side when Justin quickly, unexpectedly reached to grab his hand and place it at the side of his waist firmly. "Good night, Brian," he whispered back, reaching to place his own hand on Brian's chest as he slowly closed his eyes and the long lashes fluttered downward.

Brian continued to stare at the angel lying next to him for several minutes, his hand wrapped around the other man's back as he felt the warm, soft palm resting against his heart, right where Justin could hear it beating strongly and steadily as if he were seeking reassurance. Only after he heard his partner's even, slow breathing signifying that he had finally gone to sleep did Brian dare to close his own eyes in a mixture of thankfulness, hope and resignation.