Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

Brian's Loft - Friday Morning

"Yeah. Yeah, I understand." There was a pregnant pause for a few seconds. "I'm glad you agree with me, though." Another momentary silence occurred before the voice responded, "No, I won't. This is too fucking important."

The hushed tones of a man having an apparent conversation on the phone with someone gradually seeped into Justin's consciousness as he slowly awoke from his slumber. For a few seconds, the blond tried to get his bearings on where he was; he sat up in the bed and observed the modern, ultra-chic bedroom furnishings. This was definitely NOT Andrew's apartment. Finally, as he fully awakened, he realized he was back in Pittsburgh, in the loft that Brian owned. In the bed the two of them had shared last night; and in the bed they had no doubt shared numerous times before. Only from the vivid dreams Justin had had over the past two weeks, he knew they hadn't used the bed for just sleeping like they did last night.

As Justin lay there in the folds of his partner's luxurious sateen sheets and plush, satin duvet, his face flushed as he thought about just what types of dreams he had been having about his partner. Last night, while Brian held him almost possessively in his arms, had been no exception. The dreams were extremely vivid, passionate, and sensual, sometimes gentle, sometimes downright rough and dirty. Now that he could see the man up close and barely clothed, he knew his dreams were pretty damn accurate; the man was beautiful in a classic sort of way – lean torso, toned but not overly muscled, tanned legs and arms, long fingers that were no doubt very talented in giving pleasure. And the eyes – the intense looks he was giving Justin when he thought the blond wasn't looking were hot enough to burn right through him. He noticed the eyes were sometimes light brown with flecks of gold; at other times they were more of a golden-green. Then sometimes, when Brian was more emotional and trying to get a certain point across, the eyes were a large, deep, and expressive chocolate brown. Justin could tell easily that Brian felt deeply about him; he just wish he could reciprocate the same intense feelings for him. He closed his eyes in frustration. Brian, as well as Andrew and pretty much everyone else he had spoken to, had repeated that he needed to give it time. Was that going to be the ultimate solution? It was pretty obvious, even to him, that time might not be enough. What then? Again, that question reverberated through his head…..What then? What then?

Brian closed his cell phone softly after speaking to Alex. He thought perhaps the man who had helped him figure out a way to assist Justin right after the prom bashing could help him now. The situation was a little different this time, though – Justin wasn't exactly shying away from physical contact, thank goodness. In fact, last night Brian's heart was thumping wildly after Justin had asked him to simply hold him. Who would have thought he would have been satisfied with just that? But, God, it had felt so GOOD. So fucking GOOD. Brian had wrapped his arms around Justin's waist and hadn't let go of the man until he had awakened 10 hours later. He had slept the slumber of the dead, which was kind of ironic, now that he thought about it, because he had slept so well due to Justin being very much alive.

Despite Alex being a well-known psychologist, he was the first to admit he wasn't an expert when it came to memory loss; in fact, Brian was beginning to wonder if anyone was. It seems this was one of the few areas of science that little was known about. Well, Justin was going to be an exception to whatever rule says you can't recapture what you had lost. Brian had almost lost everything, or so he had thought; he wasn't even going to consider the possibility that his partner would never recover his memory – all of it. It had taken him years to finally admit how he felt about Justin; if it took a while for his partner to regain his memory, he was prepared to wait it out. He just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

He glanced over at the closed partitions of the bedroom wall, wondering if Justin was still asleep. He had hated like hell to leave their bed; Justin's steady breathing had been like the greatest fucking lullaby he had ever heard. Everything had been so sweetly, achingly familiar and yet almost like it was new all over again; his smell, his feel – the warmth, the softness, the golden, shining hair – the way his body had automatically molded itself so perfectly against his. As Brian had held the slim, petite body to him so firmly and felt the soft breaths on his chest, his mind had churned with so many mixed emotions – elation, relief, gratitude, fear of the unknown future and just a little disbelief. He found himself in such an unbelievable position right now – his body craving so much more, and yet his mind telling him not yet – not just yet. For a man used to fucking several times a day, and only now with one certain blond in particular – his current situation was almost unbearable. He huffed out a breath of frustration. Maybe he'd have to find a way to go the gym – or buy another treadmill. Anything to work off some of this sexual tension. He chided himself – don't be so fucking selfish, Kinney.

"Brian?" The subject of his thoughts quietly appeared by the bedroom wall; hair tousled from bed, still wearing the long-sleeved tee and jeans from last night. Brian thought he had never looked more wonderful then he did just now.

"You're awake," Brian observed dumbly, thinking how intelligent a statement that must have sounded like. "Did I wake you?" He had tried to be as quiet as he could when he had spoken to Alex, not wanting to wake Justin up after the tumultuous day they had both had yesterday. Without his memory being intact, and for all intents and purposes meeting his mother for the first time, it had to have been even more confusing for his partner.

Justin shook his head. "No," he assured him, although it was only partly the truth. He was semi-conscious when he had heard Brian speaking, but the telephone conversation had fully awakened him. "Were you on the phone?" he asked curiously. It was only a little after 7:00 – still a little too early to be making most phone calls. He worried that it was something serious.

As Justin walked over to join Brian on the couch, they sat a few feet apart as Brian confirmed, "Yeah. I was speaking to a friend of mine who's actually a psychologist – Alex. He had helped me before when you were injured with some suggestions for your treatment and I thought I'd ask his advice."

"I had a memory lapse before?" This was the first Justin had heard about that; he knew from what Brian had told him in the car that he had sustained an injury to approximately the same part of his head that he had damaged in the train accident, but this was the first revelation that his memory had been affected, then, too.

"Yeah," Brian confirmed; he had vowed he was not going to lie to Justin or make false promises about his condition and it included previous circumstances as well. "It wasn't as severe or as comprehensive as this, though," he added.

"How much of my memory did I lose? And did I get it back?" Justin pressed; he thought he must have succeeded in recouping it, however, because the two of them were still together. He was surprised, then, when Brian shook his head sadly. "No?" he asked him, confused.

Brian actually looked crestfallen as well as a little angry as he explained what had happened at Justin's prom and how his head injury had occurred. "You never did remember what happened that night," he told him sorrowfully. "At least about the prom itself," he clarified. "You remembered just a little about what happened in the garage, and maybe just a few seconds of when I first came into the room, but that's all."

"That's what you talked to your friend Alex about?" Justin asked, looking over intently at the other man, who had an undeniable look of pain on his face as he recalled the events of that wonderful, then absolutely horrible, night. Justin was sorry to hear he had not regained all of his memory; he wondered if that was an omen of what was to come this time.

"Some of it," Brian responded softly. He hesitated as he recalled what Jennifer had been so concerned about back then; he can still remember how hard it had been for her to give him control over her son. At that time, she did not trust at all that he would do right by Justin, but her love for him and her need for him to get better outweighed her concerns. "After the bashing, you sort of retreated into yourself. You were so angry – at Hobbs, at the world, at your physical limitations. You didn't really want to be around anyone then, much less let anyone touch you. Your mother was afraid you would never really revert to anything resembling who you used to be." He smiled a little. "According to your mom, you did a fairly decent job of trashing your bedroom back then. No wonder she wanted to get rid of you."

Justin frowned, even though he knew by Brian's expression and tone of voice he was kidding about the getting rid of him part. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"She was at her wit's end about how to help you," he explained, thinking back to how reluctant he was to hear her plea and help her. At the time he had feared he might actually do more harm than good with Justin; he didn't have a clue what would happen or what would be the best course to take. But even Jennifer knew back then that he and Justin had something special, a bond that no one else had with her son. And somehow she instinctively knew that only Brian could help bring Justin back to some semblance of his old self. She had been right. And damn it – he was going to do it again, he vowed silently to himself. "She asked me to help you," he said aloud now. "She…..somehow knew that I could, even if I didn't realize it myself at the time," he admitted a little reluctantly. He looked down at his hands which were firmly clasped together. "After what happened…..you not only put up a wall to protect yourself, you….wouldn't let anyone touch you. Mentally or physically."

Justin studied the brunet intently as he continued to avoid his glance, surmising what Brian was trying to say. "But you found a way, didn't you?" he asked him softly.

The side of Brian's mouth twisted a little into a half-boast, half-confession. "Yeah," he revealed, his voice barely above a whisper as he thought back to that night after Gus' birthday party – the night Justin had finally allowed him to break through his shell completely. The night they had made love. It was definitely not just fucking – although that would certainly come back soon afterward, and with a wicked vengeance. How ironic now, then, that they were even having this discussion, he thought pensively, as a thick, awkward silence settled upon them while Justin thought over what Brian had said.

Justin wanted to tell Brian how sorry he was for having to put him through this, apparently all over again, only this time it was far worse. But Brian had made him promise yesterday that he would quit apologizing to him for his memory loss. He knew it wasn't his fault that it had happened, but he still felt terrible about it. He also knew, though, that it wouldn't help to keep dwelling on it, and he had promised his partner. Biting his lip, then, he replied, "It sounds like you seem to know what to do to help me when no one else does."

Brian shook his head almost modestly. "Maybe," he accepted graciously. "But a lot of it is just plain, dumb luck. At least it was back then," he explained. "Now, I guess it might be more instinct and just knowing what you're like and how you react. I mean, we've certainly had our ups and downs, but we've known each other now for over 6 years. You learn a lot about a person in that amount of time. I'm hoping that knowledge will do some good now." He looked over now at Justin with a slight smile of encouragement, not sure if it was for the other man or for him.

Justin thankfully chose to change the subject back to the present instead of concentrating on that terrible part of their past. "So what did your friend suggest?" he asked curiously. He was anxious to find out what this professional thought about his condition; so far, he hadn't really spoken to an actual psychologist; the doctors had either been emergency room physicians, like Andrew, radiologists, or neurologists. They were good at interpreting results and treating the physical symptoms, but not so good at delving into what might be best for his internal memory loss.

"Well, he was clear about one thing – he feels it's crucial that you check in with Dr. Keller, your old neurologist that saw you the first time. He agrees with me that it's important, too, that Dr. Keller obtains all the medical records and diagnostic reports from not only Harrisburg but also the urgent care center you told me you went to here in Pittsburgh, because they did another MRI there, didn't they?" he asked Justin.

As the blond nodded to confirm, he continued. "He also thinks it might be helpful to expose you to more parts of your life as a possible trigger, kind of like the first time you were injured." As Justin looked at him questioningly, he explained, "It didn't quite work out the way we had hoped – you still didn't remember everything back then – but it did help you to be more comfortable with being touched and held again." The two partners were so unaccustomed to the awkwardness that was hanging like a heavy fog in the room; once again, there was the proverbial elephant's presence – both men wanting the same thing, but unsure of the path to get there. One man yearning, physically aching to touch his partner the way he wanted to so badly – to make mad, passionate love to him endlessly, to whisper words of encouragement to him, to deepen the bond they already felt so strongly; and the other man – damaged, fragile, and unaware of just how strong the depth of his feelings should be for this man who was trying so urgently to help him, to help them.

"Brian….." Justin didn't really know what to say; he wasn't going to apologize again. He knew that was not what Brian wanted and the man was growing weary of Justin feeling guilty. It would be so easy to just succumb to his physical attraction to the other man – he was smart, damn sexy, charming in an almost vulnerable sort of way, and obviously in love with him. So why not just let his memory be damned, get it over with and just have sex with this beautiful man? Maybe because in a warped sort of way he felt he owed Brian more than that. He owed their relationship more than that. Fucking would be the easy way out; it wouldn't solve anything and it just might make things more complicated. He didn't want to give Brian false hope that just because they were having sex it meant everything was back to the way he was wanting it to be.

Brian looked over at Justin expectantly, waiting patiently to listen to what he wanted to say. Right now, he couldn't get enough of just hearing him speak. "Where do we go from here, Brian?" he asked him simply.

Brian had already given that same question a lot of thought; that was part of the reason why he had called Alex so early this morning. He didn't want to waste one minute trying to find a solution so the two of them could find their way back to how they used to be. "I'm going to call Alleghany General Hospital in a little while and try to get a hold of Dr. Keller," he told his partner. "I think the first step is for you to go and talk to him, so he can give us some guidance on what to do."

He was glad to see Justin nod his head in agreement. "Okay," the blond answered him; he was as anxious to recover his life as Brian was – he just wasn't sure how easy it was going to be. "I think that would be a good start, too."

"Good," Brian replied, relieved. Apart from that, he thought the next logical step would be for Justin to be exposed to as many of his friends and familiar places as possible; if the worst happened, and he never regained his previous memories, at least they could make some new ones – together. What he had to do was figure out the best way to do that.

Before he had a chance to formulate their plan of action, however, Brian was startled by his cell phone ringing; he had turned it off last night, not wanting for them to be disturbed. Now, as he glanced at the caller ID to see who would be calling him so early, he wasn't totally surprised to see who it was. After all, Brian had spent the night in his loft for the first time in almost two weeks.

"Finally!" an annoyed but concerned voice said as soon as Brian said hello. "Where the hell are you? I was fucking worried about you! Where have you been?"

Brian shook his head and rolled his eyes as he looked over at Justin nearby. "I'm fine, Mikey," he assured his friend. "In fact, you might say I'm doing fucking fantastic."

Michael frowned over at Ben, who was sitting with him at the kitchen table; as soon as Michael had awakened earlier and noticed Brian had never come back to their house, he was instantly worried. He knew Brian wouldn't go back to the loft because of all the memories of Justin there, and he didn't come back to his house. Had he had spent the night at Kinnetik? Even if he HAD, that wouldn't explain the man's 180-degree turnabout in attitude. There could only be one explanation. "Brian…..what did you take?"

Brian huffed; why did everyone automatically assume that just because he was feeling so good right now, he was on some kind of drug? Although, he supposed he could understand why. His world had come crashing down after Justin had "died." He could understand, then, why both Michael and Jennifer would make that assumption; it was Brian's normal form of pain management.

"I didn't take ANYTHING for your information, Michael," Brian retorted a little sharply. Justin's expression at that statement was to narrow his eyebrows and stare at him, perplexed. In his current state, he had no idea of Brian's past method for either controlling his pain or forgetting about it altogether; the Brian Kinney he had seen so far seemed too intent on producing results to be concerned with clouding his judgement in that manner.

"Okay," Michael rolled out slowly, the doubt clearly evident in his voice. Brian had suddenly gone from being totally bereft with grief to feeling fantastic? What other reason could there be? He sounded too sober to be strung out on Beam. "I'm…..glad to hear you're feeling better. Care to tell me why?"

Brian's eyes remained on Justin as he considered what to tell his friend. Perhaps it was time to start the next part of his plan. "Actually….l'd rather show you," he replied vaguely, at least it sounded that way to Michael. "Could you come over to the loft this morning?" Brian had already decided he was not going into Kinnetik today; now that he had Justin back relatively healthy, he wasn't letting him out of his sight for now.

Michael was certain now that Brian had to be spaced out on something. The way his friend had reacted to even the thought of stepping foot back in his loft where he and Justin had spent so much time together had been physically nauseating to him. Short of being handcuffed and dragged there forcibly, Michael couldn't imagine any other way the man would go back there. At least if he came over, however, he could find out for himself just what condition Brian was in. After trying several years ago to hang from the rafters with a scarf, and after recently smashing his hand against their bathroom mirror after Justin had died, there was no telling what Brian might consider doing.

He made up his mind quickly. "I'm coming right over," he announced, as Ben pondered just what was going on. "Don't go anywhere." Or do anything STUPID.

"I'll be here," Brian reassured him, smiling a little, "Oh, and bring the little professor. He might as well be in on this, too." He could take care of two of Justin's friends in one shot. Michael didn't know what he was about to encounter; there would be no way to prepare him for this.

"What was that all about?" Ben asked his husband as he peered up from under his glasses from the paper he was reviewing. He noticed Michael's look of total confusion as he hung up the phone with Brian. "Where is he?"

"I don't get it," Michael told him flatly. "He's…..at the loft. He swore he wouldn't set foot there ever again and was about to have it listed with Jennifer for sale. Now he tells me he's over there right now and he's feeling fantastic? This is fucking strange. He's got to be high on something, only he didn't sound like it." He shook his head, confused. It didn't add up at all. "Oh, and he wants you and me to come over right away to the loft. Says he has something to show us. What the hell is going on?"

Ben grimaced. "With Brian, you never know." He turned his wrist over to look at his watch. "I've got a couple hours before my first class today. You think we should go?"

"Are you kidding?" Michael answered. "This is Brian we're talking about – Mr. Unpredictable. I can't for the life of me figure out what he's up to, but I think we'd better find out." He stood up and reached in his pants pocket for the car keys. "We'd better go find out exactly what's going on."


"Your friend Michael's coming over here?" Justin asked his partner somewhat nervously, as Brian snapped his cell phone shut. Justin knew he should know all these people, DID know them somewhere in his mind, but right now they were all just a big jumble, even his mother. Shit.

Brian nodded; he hoped he was doing the right thing by telling Michael and Ben to come over. It wasn't as if he could keep Justin's miraculous survival a secret for very long; he couldn't very well keep him locked up in the loft, although he had fleetingly thought about it. "Is that all right?" he asked his partner; after all, this was all about his recovery. He should have the final say in how he undertook it.

Justin searched the other man's eyes, so sincere but also so concerned….about what was best for him. He bit his lower lip. It made him both excited but nervous at the thought of meeting yet another person who he was supposed to know. How many times would he go through this with no breakthrough? How many times before he would have to admit defeat? No, he decided. He was not going to think that way. He had to think positively. Noticing that Brian was still looking at him for an answer, he whispered, "Yeah, it's okay," he reassured him. Inside, however, a whole room of butterflies was fluttering around in his stomach, though. How would Brian's best friend react to his return? "Brian….."

"Yes, Justin?"

"Tell me more…. about Michael…..and Ben." Brian had told him a little bit about his best friend, but he wanted to know as much as he could about the man who had grown up with his partner. Maybe by learning more about Brian's closest friend, he could learn more about himself, too. After all, they both had Brian in common.

For the next several minutes, Brian revealed to Justin how the two of them had met when they were teens, about their high school years, including several pranks they had pulled, mainly on school staff, and eventually how they had wound up where they were – still good friends but each with their own focus on their individual interests and partners. The entire time Brian was telling him, Justin felt a sense of dread inside – not because he was about to meet the man who was Brian's best friend and who had eventually become a friend of Justin's as well, but because he didn't remember any of it. Not a fucking bit of it. He tried hard to suppress a frustrated sigh, once again, but he was only half successful.

Brian noticed his partner's discomfort, as well as the sorrowful look on his face as he spoke. "None of this sounds familiar to you, does it?" he whispered understandingly, struggling to keep his own disappointment in check. Each time he told Justin more about his past life, and each time he failed to get a flicker of recognition from him, his own optimism wavered just a little more.

Justin shook his head to verify that Brian was correct. He had a feeling even if he had lied, Brian would have still known the truth. "Not any of it."

Brian nodded and gave him a slight, encouraging smile. He reached over and squeezed his hand briefly as Justin's smaller fingers curled around his hand seeking comfort. "I thought so. Look – I can call Michael back on his cell and tell him now's not a good time."

Justin shook head firmly. "No," he replied emphatically. "The sooner I become reacquainted with the people who know me, the sooner I can recover." IF I recover, he couldn't help thinking.

Several minutes later the sound of the door buzzer startled them; Brian gave Justin's hand one more quick squeeze before he rose from the couch and walked over to the door intercom. "Come on up," he instructed, pressing the button. He turned to look at Justin, still sitting on the couch. "Why don't you stay there?" he suggested; he really had no idea how to proceed with this reunion, or any of the others for that matter. The Brian Kinney operating manual had never had a chapter on how to broach the subject of your partner coming back from the dead. He suspected, however, that no one would care after they saw Justin.

Brian stood by the door as he heard the familiar whine of the elevator motor signaling an impending arrival; several seconds later, there was a knock at the door. When he swung it open, he wasn't sure who was the most surprised: himself, or the person who was on the other side.

The visitor came bursting through the door like a flashy cyclone before Brian could react, issuing an indignant staccato of sentences without coming up for breath. "I couldn't believe it when Michael said you were over here – he was worried sick about you, you know, you asshole!" The person continued to brush by Brian, walking over toward the kitchen as the brunet desperately tried to halt her progress. "I know you haven't been eating, so I thought I'd bring you over some las…" Brian almost ran smack into his visitor as the person stopped dead in her tracks and promptly dropped the glass casserole dish she was holding in her arms, shattering it into tiny, messy pieces on the wooden floor. "Oh, my GOD!" Debbie cried, her large eyes widening in total disbelief. She slapped her hands over her mouth and stood frozen to the spot, completely oblivious to the enormous mess she had just made. Her eyes were too focused instead on the instantly familiar, slender, blond man shrinking back and flinching on the couch seat upon hearing the earth-shattering sound of the casserole dish breaking on the hard wooden floor. "Oh, MY GOD!" she cried more softly this time as her eyes promptly filled with tears. She looked over at Brian and then back at Justin. This couldn't be real. This is IMPOSSIBLE. "No," she whispered, looking back at Brian again for some answer to what she was seeing. The normally flamboyant, boisterous redhead was for once in her life nearly speechless with shock.

"Ma?" Brian turned to see Michael and Ben standing in the open doorway, observing the unbelievable, catastrophic mess on the floor and his mother's look of total disbelief on her face. "Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?" The only thing Debbie could do was slowly raise her red-lacquered fingernail and point over at Brian's couch.

"Michael…"Ben began, gently nudging his husband's shoulder for attention as he looked over at the couch to see what Debbie was pointing at; Michael had been so worried about the odd look on her mother's face that he hadn't peered over there yet. "I think you'd better take a look over at the couch," he prodded him, a long of wonder on his own face.

Brian winced inwardly; this was not the way he had expected Justin's return to play out. He had been hoping to announce his partner's miraculous survival gradually, NOT spring Debbie of all people on him unexpectedly. He rushed over to Justin's side as the blond slowly rose from his place on the couch and stood there uncertainly, not really knowing how to act or what to do. He noticed a look of apprehension on the beautiful, blond face. "Justin…."he began, placing a supportive hand on the blond's shoulder which felt tense and stiff.

As Brian spoke to Justin and placed his hand on his partner, Debbie finally realized what she was seeing wasn't some desperate, hopeful dream; it had to be REAL. She didn't understand how but she knew now that she couldn't be imagining it – just seeing the same kind of look on her son's and Ben's faces was proof of that.

"H...How?" She finally managed to say softly, as all three of them continued to stand frozen with shock. "How is this possible?" She finally found her footing as, the enormous mess in the kitchen promptly forgotten by everyone, she slowly began to inch toward the man she had come to regard as another son – a man she thought she would never see again. She saw Justin lick his lips nervously as he tentatively snaked his arm around Brian's waist for emotional support and the brunet's hand tightened around his slim shoulder.

Brian was determined not to spook his partner – this could prove to be too much, too soon. "Everyone – sit down," he instructed in a commanding tone of voice. In a massive understatement, he told them, "There's a lot to tell you." He motioned with his free hand toward the chairs surrounding the couch. "Please…SIT DOWN." Ben gave Michael a slight push toward the living room as finally, all three visitors slowly sat down near the couch, their eyes never leaving the man who had apparently arose from the dead and was now staring back at them warily. It was now obvious that Justin was, indeed, right there, alive, but as of yet he hadn't uttered a single word.

Michael shook his head in disbelief; when Brian had told him he was at the loft and had to show him something, he never in a million years could have imagined it would have been this. He couldn't wait to hear how this miracle had happened. He raised his hands questioningly. In an echo of his mother's question, all he could get to escape from his lips was "How?"

Brian took his hand away from Justin's shoulder and gently grasped his hand to pull him down with him onto the couch. He clutched the blond's hand firmly; Justin was holding onto his so tightly he was threatening to lose circulation in the fingers. He endured it, however, because he knew Justin was feeling overwhelmed at the moment and he needed the emotional support.

"It's kind of a long story," Brian began, looking over at his partner and beginning to slowly rub reassuring circles on Justin's hand with his thumb. "But there are some things you need to know. Obviously it goes without saying that Justin somehow survived the train crash in Harrisburg. I didn't find that out myself until yesterday when I had to visit there on business. I won't go into the details right now as to how I found out – that can be saved for another time – but what you all need to know is that Justin has suffered almost total memory loss of what happened before the accident." He heard Debbie gasp as he looked over at his friends almost apologetically. "That includes all of you." The three visitors exchanged looks of shock as well as pity as they stared over at Justin, whose eyes had filled with tears of regret and pain. "That's why I wanted you to come over," he said, indicating Michael and Ben. He smiled with chagrin as he told Debbie, "I wasn't expecting you, though." He smirked a little. "If I had known you were coming, I would have prepared Justin a little better for the hurricane."

To her credit, however, Debbie was remarkably subdued, at least compared to her normal demeanor. Her eyes, too, were filled with tears; partly due to pain over what Justin had to currently be going through, but more out of joy that he was back with them – alive. She shook her head and smiled through her tears as she leaned toward Justin and whispered to him, "Sunshine...," she said, her voice full of affection, "I can't tell you how happy I am to see you. And I know that you will get all of your memory back – I just know it."

Justin looked at her as a sudden snippet of a previous encounter flashed through his mind; a vision of this same woman wearing the same type of grateful, happy look telling him to come and give him a hug. He shook his head in frustration, however, as the memory left just as quickly as it came. "What is it, Justin?" Brian asked him, noticing the strange look on his partner's face that had arisen so suddenly.

Justin finally spoke up. "I…..I just had this vision." He was afraid to actually call it a memory for fear it would somehow jinx him from remembering anything further. He turned toward Debbie and looked at her intently as he added, "It was about you."

Debbie smiled, thrilled that Justin had apparently remembered something about her. "What was it about?" she asked him encouragingly, as the three men looked at the blond. Brian held his breath as Justin divulged, "You were telling me to come and give you a hug."

Debbie gasped and smiled in delight. "Yes!" she verified for him enthusiastically. "It was right after…." She hesitated and looked at Brian, not sure just how much to tell him about his past; the subject she was about to mention was definitely not a pleasant one.

"It's okay, Deb," Brian assured her. "He knows about the bashing," he explained, nodding at her to continue.

Debbie nodded. "It was a few months after your prom, Sunshine," she told Justin, still marveling at the miracle sitting in front of her, alive and breathing. "You had just come home after being in the hospital for treatment and I came over with my brother, Vic, to bring you and your mom some lunch. You were upstairs and I suddenly heard your voice as you came down to greet us. I was so happy to see you that I asked you to come and give me a hug." She didn't mention that Justin had shrunk back from her, just as he had done now, because she had spilled the marinara sauce all over the front of her shirt and Justin had mistaken it for blood. She realized how ironic it was that they were almost in the same situation again.

Brian felt his heart warm at Justin's remembrance of that event; it definitely proved that his mind had his memories locked in there somewhere. It would be up to him, his mom, his friends, and the doctors to try and extract them. "See?" he told his partner smiling a little in encouragement. "You remembered that," he pointed out.

Justin heaved a soft sigh and nodded; yes, he did. But that was just one, small, miniscule pebble of memory in an enormous ocean of remembrances. Just how many would he be able to remember eventually?

"Surely Justin has seen doctors since the accident," Ben stated sensibly. He looked over at Brian as if Justin was mute and couldn't speak for himself; somehow it seemed more logical to look at Justin's partner who was continuing to hold the blond's hand supportively rather than ask Justin directly.

"Yes, he has," Brian verified. "But they aren't sure what the best course of treatment is. They haven't worked on him before, though. I'm going to call his old neurologist this morning here in Pittsburgh and have him check Justin out and give his opinion. I trust his experience with Justin more than the doctors who just recently worked on him."

Debbie continued to stare at the fragile-looking man sitting closely next to Brian and leaning into his side. It was unfortunate that Justin had suffered such a horrible memory loss from his accident, but apparently he somehow knew that he and Brian shared a deep bond. She couldn't take her eyes off him, however; it was just too unbelievable after everyone thought he had died. But she silently thanked God that for Brian's sake, they had all been proven wrong. Without Justin, she was terrified about what would happen to his partner. Brian had never allowed his heart to be captured by anyone before Justin, and without him in his life, she had been afraid he would simply close himself off and never allow anyone else to touch his heart ever again. She was so thankful that she would not have to worry about that now. As she looked over at the brunet, she couldn't believe the changes that had occurred in him almost instantly. His face had regained a lot of its color and his stance was much more relaxed. But the biggest change was the eyes – the haunted, lost look that he had carried around for the past two weeks was dramatically replaced now by a rekindled, hopeful, and shining light that made the hazel orbs sparkle. I never thought I would ever SEE that again.

Now that the initial shock over seeing Justin had faded, she realized to her horror that she had made an unbelievable mess in Brian's kitchen. "Oh, shit!" she cried out, rising suddenly from her chair. "The lasagna! Where's the mop, honey?" she asked Brian as she rushed back into the kitchen and grabbed an entire roll of paper towels to begin to try and scoop up some of the mess she had made. "Fucking marinara sauce," she muttered, looking around frantically for a bucket and a mop.

Marinara sauce. Justin squeezed his eyes shut briefly as another flash of memory erupted. "That's the second time you've had an accident with the marinara sauce around me," Justin said impulsively as Debbie suddenly stopped what she was doing. She smiled over tenderly at him. "You're right," she verified, looking over hopefully at Brian, who smiled at her in delight at Justin's accurate recall of the event. "I had another run-in with marinara sauce the night I brought your dinner over after you were injured."

Michael rose from his chair and walked over to his mother, retrieving a bucket and mop from one of Brian's pantry cabinets. He reached over and gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek before filling the bucket with water for her. She nodded in understanding and dunked the mop in the water to begin cleaning up the sticky, voluminous mess.

Brian's heart warmed as Justin remembered Debbie's previous accident. It proved once again that his memories were locked up in his mind somewhere and just needed the triggers to get out. Already he was seeing more promising signs that his recall was slowly, excruciatingly coming back to him. Maybe seeing three of his friends at once hadn't been such a bad idea after all. He made a mental note to make sure Daphne was next on the list; if anyone could help Justin remember his life for several years past, it would be her. And, besides, he knew Jennifer would be eager to share the miraculous, ecstatic news with her son's best friend.

Debbie wiped her hands on a kitchen towel as she dumped the last of the dirty mop water in the bathroom sink and finally got the kitchen back into some semblance of cleanliness.

"Deb, let the rest go," was Brian's surprising call. "The cleaning lady will be in soon. It's fine." Before all this had happened with Justin, Brian would have been aghast at the mess she had made on his floor and the cabinets. Somehow, though, in light of what he had just gained, it didn't seem quite so important anymore.

Debbie slowly walked back into the living area, still feasting her eyes on the miracle sitting on Brian's couch. She shook her head in amazement as a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Jennifer," she stated. "Does Jennifer know? Brian…..What about her? Someone needs to fucking tell her."

Brian shook his head. "It's okay, Deb," he quickly reassured her. "Actually, she knows…..I called her last night and had her come over to the loft." Somewhat embarrassed, he admitted, "I asked her not to tell anyone else until Justin had a little more time to get better acclimated." Rather sheepishly, he added, "I thought it would be better not to spring everyone on him at once."

Debbie glared at him good naturedly, pointing an index finger at him. "You mean ME…..don't you?"

Brian uncharacteristically stammered at her intense stare, as Justin just glanced back and forth at the two of them with a certain amusement. Despite the holes in his memory, somehow he instinctively knew this type of bantering was commonplace among them. "Well….uh…..Okay! Yeah, I thought I needed to prepare him a little for you." He had the decency to look down then. "Come on, Debbie….you know what I mean." He looked over at Michael with a help me sort of appeal; Michael simply grinned knowingly.

You gotta admit, Ma," he said to her. "You do have a way of making your presence known."

Debbie stood there with her hands on her hips and glared at her son. "And just what is that supposed to mean?" she prodded him. Justin continued to stare up from the couch, intrigued, as the verbal badminton match continued among the three of them. At least for the moment, he wasn't the center of attention.

"It's nothing personal, Deb," Ben told her smoothly, trying to come to his husband's defense. "It's just that someone with as big a presence as yours needs to have the proper…... introduction that is deserving of them."

Debbie, thankfully, seemed somewhat appeased by the somewhat euphemistic explanation. "Well that's better," she retorted. "You'd think I was some fucking human bulldozer, the way everyone's talking." She turned to look at Justin. "I happen to LOVE this kid just like he's one of my own…..I would never do anything to hurt him." She decided to risk walking over and leaning down, placing a tender kiss on the blond's cheek as he smiled up at her. Despite his unfamiliarity with their shared past together, he decided he liked this woman and he could trust her.

"I think it's time we leave these two men alone, boys," she commanded, as she reached down to pick up her purse from a nearby table. "They both look wiped out and Sunshine needs the rest." Brian looked at her, grateful that she had somehow read his mind. He was so relieved that Justin's encounter with them had gone relatively smoothly, but he continued to be concerned that his partner was being thrown too much, too soon. Until he could have Justin checked out by a doctor, and get reassurance as to his physical condition as well as his mental health, he wanted to err on the side of caution. Justin had been through enough in the last 24 hours.

Before she turned to go she reached over and gave Brian a hug, wrapping her plump arms tightly around his waist. "I'm so happy for you, Honey," she murmured to him tenderly, placing her face against his chest and hearing his heart beating rapidly; to her it sounded distinctly like a happy one. She knew his face was certainly happier, now that the man he loved was back in his life. "He's going to be okay," she whispered to him, as she felt Brian's arms tighten around her and his head come to rest on top of her red-wigged hair. "You're both going to be okay….I just know it." They stood that way for several seconds before Brian finally loosened his hold on her. He kept a gentle grasp on her upper arms as he simply whispered to her sincerely, "Thanks, Deb," and finally let her go.

Debbie turned to Justin one final time; she wanted to hug him, too – badly – but she was afraid of being too overly demonstrative with him. She finally settled for reaching over with her hand to gently caress his cheek briefly before whispering, "You take care of yourself, Sunshine. And I'll be back to see you – count on it." She started to walk away, but abruptly turned to look at him one more time to add, "And work on that smile. I didn't name you Sunshine for NOTHING." Justin raised his eyebrows in amusement as she smiled at him and resumed her walk toward the door. "Boys?" she called.

Taking their cue, Ben and Michael rose together and walked over to Justin, who stood up at their approach. Ben reached over and grasped Justin's hand. "We're so glad for both you and Brian to know you're alive," he told the blond, who smiled back at him politely. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask….okay?"

Justin nodded mutely, still a little shy around this quiet but friendly man. Michael stood next to his husband, still a little in shock over what they had discovered. He and Justin hadn't always seen eye to eye over the years, but they had come to an eventual, respectful friendship borne from trial and tribulation, as well as a mutual love for Brian, both in their own different way. And he was more thankful than Justin would ever know that Brian would not have to endure the rest of his life without the man he had become so bonded to. Michael vowed somehow to make sure that Justin was aware of just how lost Brian had been without him, and just how much he meant to him. Michael didn't think he even knew HOW much until they thought Justin was gone.

"I'm…..glad to see you," he said, somewhat insufficiently. "Shit…..I still can't believe it," he added, shaking his head, marveling at the miracle standing in front of him. He and Brian shared a look between them before he added, "What Ben said goes for me, too. If you – or Brian – need anything, we'll be there for you both."

Justin nodded his understanding as Brian smiled at his friend gratefully. "Thanks, Mikey…..and you, too, Ben," he added sincerely, before placing his arm around Justin's shoulder tenderly and pulling the smaller man against his side. He watched silently as his three friends quietly walked out the door, heartened by the knowledge that another small but important step had been taken toward his partner's eventual recovery.

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