Brian stood there just inside the loft door for several minutes after Jennifer had left; even though he knew they had a long road to travel yet, just the thought that finally someone else knew about Justin felt like a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Not that he was trying to shift some of the responsibility onto someone else. He simply felt it was important that Justin be exposed to as many reminders of his past as possible, and he was sure Jennifer would be a vital link in helping her son to regain his memory. After all, she alone could help him fill in the gaps regarding his childhood; Justin's shitty father would be the last person he could count on at the moment. He knew, too, that she would keep his confidence for the time being while they sorted out the best course of action to take in order to help him. He also realized that if the press got wind of a "miracle man" from the Harrisburg train accident, they wouldn't give his partner a minute's peace. He had seen their attrocious, unceasing stalking of Justin right after his bashing and Chris Hobb's trial; for as long as possible, then, he was determined to keep Justin's amazing survival a secret.

Before he proceeded any further, however, he had to convince his partner to return to the hospital here in Pittsburgh to be checked out. He trusted the doctors there more than in Harrisburg; they had treated Justin for his first head injury and were more familiar with his condition than his most recent caergivers in the other hospital. And if he were truthful with himself, also, the thought of involving Andrew Bradley any further than he had been already repulsed him. Despite that fact that the man had been helpful to Justin when he needed him, there was no sense in complicating matters. He was more than capable of supporting Justin without any additional interference from the man. Plain and simple, Brian Kinney was feeling something he had maybe never felt before – he was feeling insecure. He had seen the way that Justin and Bradley had bonded during his partner's short recuperative period in Harrisburg, and he didn't like it. And Justin was just confused enough right now that if their relationship was encouraged in any way, it just might develop into something more. He had no doubt that Bradley would be more than happy to see that happen. But it wasn't going to – he wouldn't LET it. Besides, he knew that once Justin's memory returned – and he couldn't think of any other possibility – he would not be interested in the man in the slightest. For as much as Brian was insecure right now, he WAS sure about one thing – the Justin he knew before the accident loved him unequivocally.

He could hear his own soft breathing in the stillness of the loft as he quietly walked over toward the bedroom. He couldn't resist; he had to take one more look at the miracle lying presently in his bed. And that's exactly what he was, he thought, as his glance soaked in the slender body lying on his side on top of the duvet and the soft blond mop of hair splayed out on the pillow. Brian smiled; somehow, Justin had even managed to wind up on his side of the bed. He wasn't sure if it was his partner's subconscious taking over or just plain dumb luck. Whatever the reason, the fact that he was there at all was most definitely a miracle. How this wonderful, wonderful man survived an accident that was deemed impossible and was here, back in his bed and in his life again, was almost too much to comprehend. But he was so fucking thankful that he was. So thankful, he thought, as his swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes teared up. This time, though, the tears weren't from the unspeakable pain he had been experiencing the past couple of weeks; they were from tears of gratitude.

"Brian?" The soft inquiry come from the bed as the brunet, a little startled, looked up from the floor to notice Justin's head raised slightly from the bed as he sat up on his elbows. "Is everything okay?" he asked, concern in his voice. Justin had tried to go to sleep – he felt so tired from all the excitement today – but maybe because of all the events that had happened, his mind was whirling with facts and emotions. It was hard to believe that just this morning, he was in Harrisburg in Andrew's modest, Georgian-style apartment and now here he was, in a largely unfamiliar city, staying with the man he knew only through his dreams and lying in their bed. Through the quickly darkening sky seeping through the closed window curtains and the soft lamplight shining behind him, Justin could see Brian at the foot of the bed, staring at him intently, as if he was trying to commit him to memory. The look was both a little scary and disconcerting in its intensity; he felt his face flush as Brian continued to gaze at him, a mixture of emotions written on his face. He thought he saw tenderness and love, most certainly, but what else – nervousness? Even a little uncertainty? "What is it?" he asked him, concerned. Was Brian sorry he had decided to stay with him after all? Had he been hoping he would elect to go home with his mother? Would that have been easier for Brian to handle? Would it have been easier for him? No, he decided. Brian was the one he felt the most comfortable with, the one he almost remembered for real. He needed to be here, if he was ever to rediscover what he had so abruptly and cruelly lost.

Brian shook his head, trying to assure Justin he was okay. He had been hoping Justin would have been asleep by now – he knew how overwhelming today must have been for him. To have started out in one place not knowing anything about your identity and wind up in completely foreign and different surroundings in less than a day had to be extremely difficult. Not to mention he had been reunited not only with his partner, but also his mother, who he really didn't recall at all; it had to be almost too much to handle in such a short time. All the more reason why I have to convince him to go to the hospital here for a checkup. But he decided that now was not the time to bring it up. He wanted Justin to try and relax, if that was possible.

Brian slowly walked over to the side of the bed near his partner; as Justin sat up straighter in the bed, the brunet hesitated briefly before joining him. Brian was amazed at the rush of emotions he felt over this simple act. No doubt it was due to the fact that in the last two weeks, he had never thought he would ever again see Justin alive, much less be sitting here in their bed together. It didn't matter right now if they were using the bed for fucking, making love, sleeping, or simply just talking. Both men were fully clothed at the moment, but to Brian what they were presently doing seemed as intimate, personal and thrilling as anything else they had done in their bed. They were together. God, what a wonderful, indescribably exhilarating statement to be able to make!

"Brian?" Came the soft question once again. Brian noticed to his chagrin he was still zoning out as he pondered the unbelievable miracle of their present situation. He had to quit thinking he was imagining this was really happening and start working on it, though, damn it.

The blue eyes looked at him softly, questioningly, as they seemingly stared deep into his soul. I could get fucking lost in those eyes….willingly. "Brian," he began again, the hesitation clearly heard in the whisper. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" he swept his arms around the loft as he tried to explain.

Brian frowned, unable to figure out what his partner meant. "What?" he asked somewhat vaguely. Right now there were so many questions and directions they could take, Justin could be asking him about anything right now.

Justin looked down, uncomfortable. Was Brian sorry for his decision? "About…..letting me stay here," he finally explained. "If you think it would be better for me to go stay with my mother, I'm sure she….."

"No!" Brian emphatically answered, reaching over to take the blond's hand firmly with both of his. "How could you think that?" he adamantly scolded him, his voice a bit louder than he had wanted it to be; it was just that he was caught so off guard by the question. He couldn't believe Justin would ask that; how in the world could he think that? Was he sorry he was staying?

"Justin…How in the fuck could you think I'd not want you here? Are you crazy?" He noticed the other man apparently flinch slightly upon hearing the strong conviction in his voice and feeling the almost violent grip he had on his hand. Brian cursed inwardly; damn it. "Justin….." His voice this time was much calmer, belying his nervousness and insecurity. This man can make me feel things I have never felt before…..and say things I would have never said out loud. His hands tenderly grasped the blond's injured hand now as his fingers softly caressed it. "God, Justin," he murmured fervently, his eyes never leaving the other man's. "I've just spent the worst two weeks of my entire fucking life thinking you were gone forever," he told the other man, his voice breaking. "How could you possibly think I wouldn't want you here now?" Thinking maybe his partner really meant here – in their bed – he added, "I don't fucking CARE whether I sleep here or on the couch or on the fucking floor." Actually, he did - the thought of having to sleep in the same place without being able to somehow touch his partner, to keep affirming that he really WAS here – was too hard to contemplate.

"Just don't go," he entreated. He wasn't above pleading at the moment, if he had to. Brian looked down at their intertwined hands, his heart beating faster in response to the contact. Softly, almost silently, he added, "I need you here, Justin. Okay?" He pursed his lips together firmly. I am NOT going to cry like some drama queen. That is not what he needs right now. For the moment, he would put Justin's needs above his own. That didn't mean, however, that he wanted him to GO. Please, Justin.

Time stretched out silently for several seconds, the only sound coming from the twin breathing of the couple on the bed. Brian continued to slowly rub circles on Justin's hand in a half-pleading, half comforting motion. His heart broke a little, though, as he heard Justin finally sigh and whisper, "I…..don't want to be a burden on you, Brian. I can't really imagine what you must have gone through the past two weeks, but I do care about you; it's just that I may never be able to return the same feelings you have for me. Are you prepared for that? Is it even fair to ask that of you?" The light blue eyes were sparkling but not with happiness; they were shining with unshed tears of guilt, sadness, nervousness and fear.

How to answer that question? Was Brian prepared for that possibility? As much as he wanted to say they would find their way back one way or the other, deep down he knew it may not happen. Despite all of his efforts, and insistence that they would forge a new path if necessary, Justin was right. The key was going to be his partner. If he had to, could Brian make Justin fall in love with him all over again? Did he have a choice? NO – not if he wanted the only man he ever loved to reciprocate his feelings. He was not going to give up – not now.

"Justin." He turned to look his partner in the eyes – eyes that were worried, regretful, and guilty over something he had had no control over. "You just returned home. You're just starting to make your way back…and I love you, damn it! You are NOT a fucking burden. You are my partner. Partners support each other – that's what they do. And I intend to do just that. I'm not giving up on us – I fucking can't. And I won't let you, either. Not until we give it everything we've got. Now I don't want to hear another word about you being a burden, or being fucking sorry…okay?" He peered over at Justin, a challenging look in his eyes. His eyebrows raised, his waited for an acknowledgement from the other man, a confirmation that he believed that Brian didn't want him to go anywhere.

Justin let out a long sigh, partly from relief and partly from still lingering feelings of culpability, however misplaced. He was convinced Brian really did want him here; but when everything was said and done, if he couldn't return his feelings, he was going to feel guilty as hell, whether deserved or not. "Okay, Brian," he responded softly, as he heard Brian let out a breath he had been holding. "I told you before I was willing and I still am. What do we do first?"

Fuck you into the bed, kiss you, hold you, and never let you out of my sight ever again. Brian felt the words lingering unspoken – he couldn't help it. Being so close to his lover and not being able to touch him the way he wanted to was killing him. But he wasn't going to be the recipient of some pity fucking; no matter how willing he might be to actually allow it. When they made love again, it would be a mutual decision.

"I wasn't really going to get into this until tomorrow morning," Brian began hesitantly as Justin looked at him in puzzlement. It was too late now, though; Justin had asked him and he was going to be truthful with him, as much as he suspected his partner wasn't going to like it. "I think our first step should be for you to be thoroughly checked out by your first neurologist here in Pittsburgh."

As he suspected, that idea generated a vehement protest. "Why, Brian?" the blond questioned sharply, pulling his hand away from the brunet's. "I was checked out from head to toe by the doctors in Harrisburg and they couldn't give me any straight answers! What makes you think the doctors here would be any different? I've already had two MRIs, x-rays and specialists buzzing around me like I was some fucking honey pot! What good will that do?"

Still stubborn as before, Sunshine. He wasn't going to back down, though. "Well, first of all, it'll give me some peace of mind that everything that can be done IS being done. And second of all, you are aware you had a previous head injury. I won't really go into all the details about what happened – not right now. But just suffice it to say that you suffered an extremely violent hit to the head and the first neurologist knows all about it. He knows what your head injury looked like then and can compare it to what your brain looks like NOW. He treated you for several months immediately after the injury and has seen you as well for regular follow-ups for the past few years to make sure there have been no lingering effects. To me, Dr. Keller is the expert on your condition, NOT some fly-by-night doctor in Harrisburg."

"You mean Andrew," Justin said, not really asking the question. He knew the other man was a major thorn in Brian's side, whether deserved or not. To Justin, the man had been nothing but supportive during the two weeks he was recovering; he understood Brian's dislike of the man, but he really did not deserve Brian's suspicion or contempt, however understandable.

"Not just Bradley," Brian maintained, although admittedly enough the man definitely left a bad taste in his mouth. "I mean any of those doctors, Justin," he insisted. "None of them know your medical history as well as Dr. Keller. And none of them had any of your old diagnostic results or medical records to fall back on. Dr. Keller can obtain copies of the new tests and exams that were done on you and provide a better opinion about your diagnosis." He sighed, trying hard to make Justin understand that his motives were driven by what he thought was best for him, and not some sneaky attempt to keep his partner away from his former benefactor.

Justin looked at Brian intently. As much as he hated the idea of going back to ANY hospital so soon after his other stay, he had no reason not to believe that Brian had his best interests at heart. After all, he made no bones about the fact that he wanted his partner back with him completely, in body as well as spirit. Perhaps, then, he thought grudgingly, it was for the best.

"Okay, Brian," Justin decided. "I'll go back to the hospital with you. But just for tests – I am not going to allow them to admit me." He shuddered; Michelle and Andrew had been very kind to him, but he was not going to stay in another hospital again so soon after he had had to endure all the poking and prodding that occurred while he was in the other hospital. He had seen more than enough lately of antiseptic beige hospital walls and smelled more than his share of the medicinal, gagging odors of the emergency room unit.

Brian smiled, relieved that Justin was at least agreeing to it. Hopefully, Dr. Keller would be able to shed light on what they could do to stimulate Justin's memory. "Good," he told his partner, smiling in encouragement. "I'll call him first thing tomorrow and get you set up for an appointment. That will give him time to get the records from the other hospital before he sees you."

"Okay," Justin agreed as he couldn't help a yawn escaping. His mind was still churning with everything that had happened today, but his body was screaming for rest.

Brian didn't let his partner's sleepy reaction escape him. "You need to get some sleep, Justin," he advised the blond sternly. It was only 10:00 – very early for when they would normally retire for the night, at least to sleep. Unfortunately, right now that was going to be the only activity being accomplished in their bed. Which brought them to an awkward moment – where was he going to sleep? He knew where he wanted to sleep – but the question was would Justin allow that as well? From the very beginning, they had always been so adept at revealing their feelings for each other by the way they touched, and the way they looked at each other. How did they go from being so tactile and demonstrative to a situation where he felt like they were virgin fags on their wedding night? He bit back a frustrated sigh as he resolved to accept whatever Justin was comfortable with, as much as it almost physically pained him to think of them being apart.

The tension was palpable as Brian warred with the right thing to do; finally thinking that maybe he should just take the initiative and remove any hint of indecisiveness and nervousness from his partner's mind, he briefly placed his hand on the blond's slender shoulder, squeezing it before whispering, "Well, good night, then, Justin – get some sleep." He grudgingly rose from the bed so he could look for the extra bedding for the couch. Justin had certainly had enough turmoil for the day; he didn't need any other quandaries weighing on his mind. Hating the idea, but nonetheless resolved to do anyway it for Justin's sake, he was about to walk over to the closet to look on the top shelf when he heard Justin asking him in a confused tone, "What are you doing?"

Brian turned to see Justin looking at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Was it confusion? Could it be hurt? He wasn't sure. Inexplicably feeling unsure of himself – a distinctly foreign emotion for him in most situations – he explained, "I'm looking for the extra blankets and pillow for the couch."

"Why?" It was a simple, one-word question but it involved a much longer explanation.

"I…..I thought you might be more comfortable sleeping by yourself," Brian told him hesitantly, even though he fucking hated the idea. The bed and couch had never seemed as far away from each other until right now. Now it might as well have been 100 miles away. One inch was too far away as far as Brian was concerned.

Brian's heart leapt, however, when Justin responded. He saw Justin biting his lip nervously, shyly as he softly answered, "I…..I was hoping you would stay with me. I…..I still get these nightmares at night. And not knowing what they mean makes them even scarier." He shook his head in annoyance with himself, his embarrassment clearly shown on his face before he looked down at his hands in his lap. "I don't want to kick you out of your bed in either case. If you don't want to…..uh, stay here with me, I should go sleep on the couch, NOT you."

Brian did not give his partner a chance to even TRY that. No way, Sunshine. "NO, Justin," he reassured him, trying with difficulty to make his voice more nonchalant that he felt; inside his heart was beating furiously with anticipation. "It's a big bed. We can both sleep in it." Even though it may be the most difficult, fucking thing I've EVER done. He looked over at Justin, who was chewing anxiously on his thumbnail as his eyes intently followed his every movement. His partner was still fully clothed in a long-sleeved tee shirt and blue jeans; the only part of his clothing he had discarded were his shoes, which had been kicked off and were strewn on the wooden floor.

Brian nodded, not trusting his voice to actually say anything further for the time being. "I'll be right back, then," he assured him as he stepped down into the living room/kitchen area to turn off the rest of the lights. The partially-full moon helped to illuminate the bedroom after he had extinguished all of the artificial light; only the orange glow from the overhead track lighting in the bedroom remained. He slowly treaded over to the bedroom and to his bed – the bed currently holding his heart's most cherished possession. Making a somewhat spontaneous decision, he pushed his shoes off his feet and slowly unbuttoned his dress shirt, walking over with it to the closet to carefully hang it up. It wasn't that he was necessarily worried at the moment about hanging the damn shirt up; truthfully, he was stalling for time. Time to slow his heartbeat down to a more reasonable, casual beat so Justin couldn't tell how excited he was to have him back here alive and in their bed. Once again, he looked over at the blond vision now lying on the bed and glancing back at him. Someone, somewhere must have thought his life was worth something to have gifted him with this miracle; from this day forward, he wasn't going to take anything for granted ever again.

He decided to risk removing his pants as well; the linen fabric of the dress pants would definitely not make for comfortable sleeping attire. As his pulse raced and his heart kept beating furiously, however, he realized the futility of actually thinking he would be able to sleep. Who was he fooling? How could he possibly sleep when the man he loved, he man he longed to hold and never let go, was back in their bed and in his life again? The thought was so exhilarating he knew he couldn't possibly get any sleep. If he had really wanted to sleep, he would have taken Justin up on his offer and let him sleep on the couch. But there was no fucking way he was going to do that.

Justin couldn't help staring at Brian as the brunet almost shyly took his shirt and pants off; the man was gorgeous. A tanned torso that wasn't overly muscular, but firm and toned. He had the perfect dimensions over his entire body, from his muscled shoulders to his classically-sculptured hands and down to his long legs. And the cock. Under the snug briefs, it didn't take much of an imagination to see that Brian was well-endowed. Justin flushed at the sight of this magnificently-looking man who had haunted his most vivid dreams for the past two weeks. He decided, as his face darkened to a deep shade of pink, that even the stunning visions his mind had conjured up didn't quite do the real image justice. Oh, my God. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky as to capture the love and the heart of someone like this man.

Brian couldn't help being pleased with his partner's reaction to his disrobing; he was glad to see that while Justin may not have remembered him in his mind, his body apparently still did. For a few moments, he was tempted to smash the blond's lithe, familiar body down on the mattress and fuck him senseless until he was forced to remember. Shaking his head in disgust, however, at the thought of pushing himself on his partner, he pasted on just a hint of a reassuring smile as he returned to the bed side and slowly pulled the duvet cover back from his side to slide in. As he lay on his back, he briefly risked closingd his eyes, relishing the realization that Justin was here, alive; it was the first time he had dared to turn away from staring at his partner since he had first laid eyes on him earlier today. God, had it just been this morning? In a way, it seemed like an eternity now. But it would take much more than an eternity to ever get tired of looking at him.

"Brian?" came the nearby whisper. As Brian quickly opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Justin, his breath caught in his throat. He was actually here – alive – back with him in their bed. Would he ever tire of saying that? Probably not, because he knew what it was like not to be able to say it. And he wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even his most-hated enemies. The pain had been damn near unbearable. He never wanted to ever go through anything like that again. He couldn't.

"Yeah, Sunshine?" he asked his partner, noticing a look of uncertainty on the beautiful but fragile face. "What is it?" His heart stopped for a few seconds and he held his breath. Was Justin regretting his decision to stay with him?

"Brian…..Would you…..hold me?" Brian was unaccustomed to hearing the unexpected, almost bashful plea coming from his partner's lips; Justin had never had any problems before asking him for any type of physical contact; in fact, he normally didn't say anything at all – he just did it, because as he so often liked to point out to him, he was always in the mood for sex. But as he soberly reminded himself, this was not a normal occasion, because for Justin, he was still a relative stranger. How odd that sounded right now. But it was sadly the truth. It beat the alternative, though, any day, and his partner had just asked him to hold him. It was more than Brian had hoped for tonight – it was a start. The hardest part was being able to stop it before things got carried away.

How could he possibly say no, though, to that request? Fuck, yeah, he would hold him! "Come over here," he said softly in that oh-so-tempting voice he had, as he pulled the duvet back from his shivering body. His body was shaking, only it wasn't because he was cold. On the contrary, he body was warming rapidly at the thought of holding the man he loved and thought had been gone forever in his arms again.

Anxiously, he turned on his side to face his partner and held his free arm out to him in a welcoming invitation. He would have preferred to feel skin on skin – God, how he wished he could right now. Justin still had his tee shirt and jeans on, however; for now, though, it was enough. He watched through heavily-lidded eyes as Justin rolled on the bed to free up the duvet cover underneath him before he slowly, painstakingly scooted ever closer to the brunet.

Brian couldn't take his eyes off Justin as he slowly came nearer and nearer. The brunet smiled at him encouragingly, his heart pounding in his chest. Justin returned his smile with a shy one of his own before he leaned in and his body finally made contact with the brunet's. Brian let out an audible, rejoiceful sigh as their two bodies melded lightly together and Justin tentatively slid his arm around his waist. "Oh, God," Brian couldn't help saying as he felt their first moment of contact as they lay together in their bed. It had been so long…so long. "Justin," he whispered lovingly, as he, too, snaked his arm tenderly around the slender, pale middle. His partner's skin felt as warm as soft as he had remembered it; his unique, sweet smell was still there, still Justin.

Despite Brian's adamant belief that he couldn't possibly get any sleep with Justin back in his bed, he found out he was wrong. Because the moment he felt the warm body and the quickly beating heart of his lover back in his arms, the soft, blond head resting on his chest where it had lain so often in the past, his entire body relaxed as if he had been given the best tranquilizer in the world. In fact, he had. And for the first time in two weeks, Brian Kinney slept soundly in peace.