Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

Part 4


Brian opened the door of his loft and walked in without a word. Justin followed and closed the metal door behind him.

He watched Brian toss his leather jacket on the back of his couch and kick his shoes off, then walk bare feet to a small bar in a corner and pour himself a glass of Jim Beam that he downed quickly before pouring another one.

"You want something?" the brunet asked.

"No, thanks. I'm fine," he replied, but saw Brian - obviously preoccupied - pouring him a drink as well.

The two glasses were placed on the coffee table and Brian motioned Justin, who was still near the door, to approach.

"Brian..." Justin began, slowly walking, "if you'd rather not talk..."

The older man looked at him, his eyes clearly showing how uneasy and conflicted he was. He sighed, grabbed his drink and took a sip of the amber liquid.

"A year ago, I'd have jumped at the suggestion," he admitted. "Hell, I wouldn't even have been in this position since I'd never have asked you to come to Deb's in the first place. In fact, we'd have been over after our first meeting."

He leaned back against the couch and, pinching his nose, closed his eyes, the glass still in his other hand.

Justin removed his coat and toed off his sneakers before sitting next to him.

"What changed?"

Brian opened his eyes and looked at him, clearly hesitating. When after a minute he still hadn't answered him, Justin took his hand and held it in his lap.

"Brian? What happened last year?"

 

 

* ~ ¤ ~ *

FLASHBACK

* ~ ¤ ~ ¤ ~ *

 

 

It should have been a night like all the others: go to Babylon, drink some booze and take some E, prowl the dance floor, choose the next trick and get sucked off in the backroom... Instead, after the decent blowjob he gave to Brian, the trick had wanted to share a bit of his life...

"I'm a doctor."

"What you want to do? Get paid to probe my prostate?"

"I just thought you should know you've got a lump on your left testicle. If I were you, I'd have it checked out. The sooner the better."

That's when Brian's world changed.

The next day, a specialist confirmed the diagnosis: cancer. He stated Brian had a 99% chance for a full recovery, but without treatment, the cancer would spread through his body, invade his vital organs, and Brian would die.

After that, Brian had a hard time deciding what to do; what he
should do. Dying before thirty had always been a possibility in his mind. It meant he'd stay forever young, forever beautiful. And it meant the Stud of Liberty Avenue would stay forever in everybody's mind, becoming a myth, a legend. Like James Dean.

He always thought he'd be dead before thirty, but then, he also always thought he'd never have anyone to worry about if he died. He never thought he'd have a child. He never thought he'd have Gus.

And he loved Gus, more than he ever expected he would, more than he was prepared to. He loved Gus more than he thought he was capable of loving someone. Anyone.

That's when his world changed for the second time.

He told his friends he was going on a trip to Ibiza when, in fact, he was having surgery at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. And when after months of follow-up treatments, his doctor told him he was cancer-free, Brian came clean to his "family", telling them he'd been sick but was now fine, and that he wanted to see Gus more and be more involved in his life.

The fact that he'd survived a life-threatening illness and that he didn't want to legally fight with the girls for his rights helped Lindsay and Melanie to reach an agreement with him. He began to see Gus once a week, at the girls' house. Then Lindsay started to drop the little boy off for one night at the loft every month - then twice a month - and now Gus spent a full weekend every two weeks.

That's when he began to accept love into his life, when he began to think some things were worth sharing with somebody else; that some people were worth loving. And that's when he started feeling empty. Coming back to the loft after dropping Gus off at his mothers' house, Brian was left alone with his thoughts and a silent home. Thoughts full of laughter and childish games in a home where the only evidence of life were those left behind by his son.

And one night, as Brian was cleaning up the loft after taking Gus home, he suddenly realized having someone else's stuff all over the place wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. It gave the place a soul. But that soul couldn't come from Gus alone. He couldn't handle having a home with a soul only twice a month. He wanted something more permanent. He wanted to feel that soul first thing in the morning and as soon as he opened the door when he came home from work at night. He wanted to see it on his couch, in his bedroom, in his bathroom. He wanted to smell it on his sheets and clothes.

He wanted to talk to it and share Gus' antics with it. He wanted to confide in it and trust it with all his dark painful secrets. He wanted to listen to it laugh, cry or even whine when sick.

He wanted to give everything to that soul.

And that's when Brian's world changed for the third time.

* ~ End of FLASHBACK ~ *

 


"I had cancer."

"Cancer?"

"Testicular cancer, to be specific."

"But you're fine now?"

"Yes. But it's been painful and... yeah, fucking scary. I didn't know if I was going to live, see Gus grow up. I didn't know if I was going to have the chance to be a better father to him."

"But you are a good father!" Justin's fingers crushed Brian's. "I saw you with him today. You love him and would do anything for him!"

"Now, yes. But up until last year, I wasn't sure I wanted him in my life. My old man... wasn't the kind of man you want to be like when you grew up. With his blood in my veins and the life style I had-"

"The one your friends described?"

"Yes," Brian admitted, his eyes studying their entwined hands. "I was certain Gus would be better off not knowing me."

"But that's not true!"

"Not anymore."

"So... you're telling me that since you had cancer and survived, you changed your life style for your son?"

Brian raised his eyes to him and barely smiled. "For him, yeah. And for me too."

"That's great, Brian, but what I don't understand is why your friends are convinced you're still the same."

"I haven't told them anything."

"About the cancer?" Justin asked, confusion crossing his face.

"They know about it, but not about the changes I've made. They still believe I'm fucking everything that moves."

"But you're not?" he asked, wanting to know for sure.

Brian downed his drink and placed the glass on the coffee table. "I'm still fucking, but instead of never fucking the same guy twice and throwing them out as soon as I got off, I'm trying to get to know them."

"How?"

"You aren't making this easy for me, are you?" Brian commented before sighing quietly. "I don't fuck them in public anymore. I keep that private and bring them here. We fuck and then we talk - they always want to talk afterwards. So we talk and if what I learn is interesting enough, I-"

"-see them a second time," Justin finished and he nodded. "Is it working?"

Brian folded his hands across his lap and studied them. "Not really."

"How many second times?"

Brian sighed. "None."

 

* ~ ¤ ~ *

 

Justin wondered a brief moment where he fit into this. They were talking right now - at least, Brian was - but they still hadn't fucked. Did that mean they wouldn't?

"Why don't you tell your friends?"

"I've been this stud for so long, fucking half of gay Pittsburgh with no apologies, no regrets... they wouldn't understand why I suddenly want to be more like them. Michael worships me as if I was some fucking comic strip hero. But what kind of hero would I be if I was just like him?"

"The kind that is human."

"Yeah... well, he has the good Professor for that. Plus... I'm pretty sure he still has feelings for me."

"You fucked him?"

"Never. But I know that if I was suddenly more open to a re... rela... to being with someone, Michael wouldn't understand why it couldn't be with him. Since we're fourteen, we've joked about ending up a couple of old queens in Palm Springs."

"But he has Ben..." Justin said, his voice hard with disbelief.

"Ben's HIV positive. Unless a fucking miracle happens, he won't be around for them to grow old together! I will."

"Do you want to?"

"No. he's my best friend and I love him - always have, always will - but that's all. I'm not in love with him. Even if I never find someone to share my life with, Michael will never fill the void."

"Could you... uh... No. Sorry. Forget that."

Brian looked at Justin. "What? Tell me. I've been very open tonight, more than I've ever been in all my life. So please, tell me."

"Could you fall in love with me?" the young man asked, his face flushed.

 

* ~ ¤ ~ *

 

"Could you, Sunshine?"

"Me? Fall in love with you?"

He nodded and watched Justin lick his lips.

"Yeah."

"But you're young and inexperienced..."

"I'm not a virgin!" Justin protested.

"You are, compared to me. Doesn't it scare you?"

"No. I'm a quick learner," Justin grinned.

"Still, you're a lot younger than me. You're what? Eighteen?"

"I didn't know there was an age requirement for falling in love with someone," Justin replied bitterly. "I always thought it happened whether you wanted to or not, that it wasn't something you could plan..." He stood up but Brian caught his hand and laughing, forced him to sit on his lap. "What's so funny?" he asked, pouting.

Brian brought his hand to Justin's cheek and stroked it gently. "You don't know how happy you just made me," he said quietly, his earlier fear that Justin might be too young to want to settle down now forgotten.

He brushed his thumb across the young man's bottom lip until his tongue darted out to lick it. Groaning, Brian pulled him closer and kissed him heatedly, his mouth wandering over Justin's. His tongue slid in and explored the warm cavity, while his hands started roaming all over the other man as they tasted and licked each other, the sound of their moans echoing in the silence of the loft.

"I want to be inside you," Brian growled a few minutes later, tearing his lips free of Justin's to suck hungrily at his neck.

"Yes..." Justin whispered, his eyes still closed and panting softly for air.

Brian rested his forehead against the young man's. "Take me out," he ordered in a husky voice.

 

* ~ ¤ ~ *

 

Justin eagerly obeyed and, falling to his knees, crawled between the man's legs, quickly unfastening his jeans. When he pulled the brunet free, his mouth watered at the sight of his dick: it was long, thick and hard. Made for worshipping.

He moaned and lowered his head, placing a light kiss on the top of Brian's cock then collected the pre-come. Narrowing his tongue, he traced the vein that rode the underside of the organ before coming back to the head, his tongue darting out to swirl over it. He slowly wrapped his lips around the tip, savoring Brian's taste leaking over his tongue.

Brian inhaled sharply. He reached down and stroked a hand through Justin's soft hair before curving it around the back of his head, holding him in place. Then, he slowly arched his hips forward, thrusting his shaft down Justin's throat.

"Good boy," he sighed, tilting his head back in pleasure as his dick touched the back of the throat.

Justin buried his nose in Brian's groin, humming and swallowing around his cock and listening to the brunet groan, feeling the tremor in his strong legs. He gently rolled Brian's silky balls between his fingers. Brian's hands started clenching and unclenching in the blond locks and his breathing sped up.

"Almost... didn't seen you... again," Brian murmured, panting. "If the guy... I was with... that night... had been worth it, I... would have never... come back again... but... All I could see was... you... Had to have... your mouth... your ass." He growled, his hold on Justin's hair suddenly tightening. "I'm going to... fuck... you... until you... tell me... you're... mine."

Justin felt hot seed spatter across the back of his throat, and he moaned as Brian held him still while he swallowed greedily and rapidly, without missing a drop. When the last of the orgasm had passed and the pressure on the back of his head vanished as Brian carefully released him, he slowed his motions and gently milked the softening organ.

Justin finally stood up and, holding Brian's eyes, unzipped his cargos where his swollen shaft was painfully constricted, its head trying to escape from his underwear. He silently walked to the bedroom, removed his t-shirt and dropped the garment to the floor when he reached the last step.

Brian joined him five seconds later, his gaze burning on Justin's naked skin.

 

* ~ ¤ ~ *

 

"You're beautiful," Brian breathed, when the young man stepped out of his cargos. "Stunning," he added in a whisper when after a slow tease, the soft white cotton briefs finally joined the pants on the floor.

He saw Justin's lashes flutter when he stepped closer to him and inhaled the scent of his skin, ghosting feather soft kisses across the length of his neck.

"Let me undress you," Justin asked softly, shivering. "I want to see you."

Brian nodded slightly and Justin slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He then placed his palms flat on the smooth chest between the open shirt and leisurely slipped the garment off his shoulders and arms. His eyes dropped down Brian's body, visually devouring the hard abdomen.

"It turns you on," Justin whispered to himself, his gaze staring at the bulge distending the black underwear again.

Brian briefly shut his eyes as lust rushed through his body. "Yes..." he whispered back. "Keep going, Sunshine. I want to feel you against me."

Justin sat on the end of the bed and tugged down the opened jeans, shoving them down Brian's hips along with his boxer briefs. The scent of sex immediately assailed their senses.

Justin gazed at the very hard and erect cock in front of him before Brian's fingers cupped his chin and tilted his face up, the hunger in his eyes very clear.

"Get on the bed. All fours," Brian instructed in a low, husky voice.

Justin climbed onto the bed while Brian was reaching to the nightstand to find the lube and a condom.

"What did you say?" Brian asked when Justin groaned out something unintelligible.

"Tell me how you're going to fuck me," he repeated softly, as a tremor went through his body.

"You like to talk dirty, huh Sunshine?" Brian purred. "You want me to tell you what I'll do after I watch you ride my fingers?" Brian husked, his voice rough and his heart pounding wildly. "But what should we do first? What about finding out just how long you'd be able to hold out if I rimmed you before pushing my fingers up inside?"

Justin gasped. "Not long... Please..."

Brian chuckled softly at the plea in the young man's voice. "Guess we'll have to try that another time, Sunshine. You're ready to burst."

He took up position behind the blond, popped the tube open and lubed his fingers, then eased one into the young man. With his other hand, he slowly started pumping Justin's cock in and out, letting his thumb slide over the slit and making him shudder and moan with pleasure.

"There's a lot of things I could do to you," Brian murmured as he began a slow thrusting rhythm. "Things that would make you scream for me... But they'll have to wait."

Brian pulled his finger back, keeping just the tip inside, then quickly thrust forward. Justin's mouth opened in a silent gasp as his hips started rocking onto his lover's hand. Brian bent down, his mouth running over Justin's spine up to his neck as he pulled his hand back again, and thrust in adding a second finger.

"I could fuck you slowly and keep pushing into your body until you beg for release, your cock so hard it hurts." Brian breathed against his skin, his fingers stretching into Justin and rubbing over his prostate.

Justin's spine arched and a groan escaped his lips.

"Or I could put my mouth all over your skin, biting and sucking and licking you..." Brian murmured, feeling Justin clench down eagerly on his fingers.

"Fuck me. Just fuck me..." Justin whimpered, pushing back and rutting shamelessly against him, his cock wet and slick in Brian's palm.

"Oh, I'm going to fuck you, Sunshine," Brian purred. "But, tonight, I won't fuck you slow," he assured in a low voice, as the young man's hips thrust in time with his movements. "And I won't fuck you hard," he added in a whisper.

He removed his fingers and sheathed himself before grabbing the young man at his hip and shoulder, and sliding in easily. He paused a moment, his eyes closed and Justin's name on his lips, and savored the heat gripping his cock.

"Please..." Justin shuddered with pleasure, when Brian didn't immediately start to pound him. "Please, Brian. Please..."

Brian sat back on his heels, holding Justin by the hips. "Tonight, I'll fuck you deep," he murmured, bringing Justin back with him so the blond was fully impaled on his lap.

"Fuck!" Justin choked out as he felt Brian's dick deeper inside him.

"God Justin, so hot! So fucking tight!" Brian groaned.

A hand on Justin's hips, he pushed up into his ass, causing the blond to gasp. He plunged again and Justin's mouth opened wide, trying to catch some air: every long thrust into his body was leaving Justin's heart pounding and his legs shaking.

"I want to feel you come before I do," Brian panted.

His other hand roamed over Justin's chest and navel before cupping his balls and stroking them gently with his thumb. A moan tore from Justin's throat and Brian kissed the side of Justin's neck when his head fell back onto his shoulder.

"Ride me, Sunshine..." he breathed in his ear.

Justin clutched Brian's neck as he arched his back, and ground down on Brian's shaft.

"Yeah, like that..." Brian husked, grasping the young man's erection.

"Brian..." The name drifted from his lips as a whisper. "Tighter," he huffed as one of his hands joined his lover's on his cock.

Brian closed his eyes. He couldn't get enough of Justin: the grip of his hands, the burning heat of his body, the taste of his skin... He started pumping Justin's cock in time to his thrusts, Justin meeting him every time, demanding more and leaving Brian gasping, the tingling in his lower back signaling that he was losing control.

"So close, Justin. I want to feel you squeezing me. Now..."

Brian sped up the movements of his hand until Justin's body tensed and arched before clenching tightly around the other man's dick, stealing Brian's breath. Justin's cock jerked in his grip, and every stroke became suddenly slicker and hotter. Shivering, Brian thrust up as far as he could, wanting to push all of himself inside Justin's body and, as a pleased moan escaped his mouth, he too flew over the edge into pure bliss.

Later, after slowly sliding out of his lover, Brian laid on the bed, pulling the blond into his arms.

"So beautiful and all mine," Brian whispered, mesmerized by the thoroughly sated look on the young man's face.

"All yours," Justin whispered back, before their lips met and they kissed slowly.

 

* ~ ¤ ~ *

 

"So..." he heard Brian beginning.

Don't throw me out...

"Do you want me to give you a ride home or..."

Please, please, please...

"...do you want to spend the night here?" Brian finished, tongue in cheek.

"You mean..."

"Yeah, I really would like to see where this leads," his lover confirmed with a teasing kiss.

"I'd like that very much," Justin whispered into the man's mouth. "And, as long as I'm at work on time on Monday, I'm all yours for the rest of the weekend, Brian."

"Yeah... we wouldn't want you to be late on your first day..." They shared another kiss. "You never told me what that new job's about."

"I applied at one of the ad agencies and signed with them a few days ago," Justin explained, smiling.

"That's great! Now your talent definitely won't be wasted!"

Justin beamed. "I followed your advice, you know. I signed with Kinnetik."

Brian raised his head and frowned. "Kinnetik?"

"Yeah, you told me it was the best that first night at Eddy's..."

"It's true. One of the best ad agencies on the East coast."

"You sound like Cynthia. That's my boss' personal assistant."

"I trained her well."

"What?"

"It appears that you're my new intern... Mr. Taylor." Brian huffed. "I can't believe that bit of information never came up in the conversations at Debbie's. If I had known, I never would have fucked you."

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