The instant Brian stepped off of the elevator, Justin's suspicion was confirmed.

The first thing he noticed were those enigmatic eyes. Only, they were not the eyes he'd envisioned mere moments ago. Their golden gleam had dimmed. Their beautiful brown, a muted spark of their previous flame.

Now, also those eyes contained something Justin had yet to see in Brian. Fear...of him.

The man's erratic heart beat confirmed this evaluation. Immediately the blond's mind assumed Brian had remembered he'd killed Michael. 'No.' he discarded that notion. Justin himself couldn't even be certain of that truth. 'Then what is it?'

Logically he next assumed that Brandon had found him. Perhaps, he'd told Brian what Justin really was. It certainly sounded like a plan cruel enough to satisfy his creator. His tormentor. To turn the man he loves, 'loves?' (his own thought startled him, but he drudged through the rest of his theory) against him. If that was the case, it was working.

Having Brian afraid of him was a fate worse than a stake through the heart.

A dagger of indescribable sharpness pierced Justin's very core.

His clear head reminded him that if Brian had indeed met Brandon, he would feel it. Each time Daphne had been near him, it threw Justin into a vicious tailspin of nausea and dis-coherence. Thankfully, it appeared Brian had not come in contact with him.

'Yet.' he grudgingly reminded himself. He couldn't forget that the man was still somewhere, waiting, and now the reason for Brian's obvious terror remained unknown.

For the shallow end of a second he considered compelling him. He couldn't. He wouldn't. "You're OK. I was so worried." he declared, too cowardly to ask what was wrong just yet.

He knew that some how Brian knew. That the brunet had somewhere, in some way learned everything Justin had longed to keep buried. Buried deep beneath Brian's world, away from his still healing heart.

The quiet returned. Brain said nothing.

Justin couldn't bear it. Thoughtlessly disregarding Brian's aversion, Justin strode forward. He wrapped his slender arms around the teacher's torso.

He had to hold him, needed proof he was really here. Not simply a mirage in the endless empty desert where his heart had been exiled years ago.

To his genuine surprise and confusion the other man hadn't pulled away. Instead, he mirrored the embrace, taking Justin into his trembling limbs.

Brian shivered at the feel of Justin in his arms. Both men ostensibly welded together.

An audible gasp kissed the air as Justin's lips softly kissed Brian's.

Inside of an instant, the Professor found that he was kissing back. Urging his tongue deep, challenging it to taste the devil in this angel's mouth.

Gaining confidence with the kiss' momentum, Brian pushed the blond's body harshly against the still locked door of his apartment. Justin's mouth matched the urgency of Brian's own.

Their bodies pressed tight, like a flower between the pages of an old book.

Devouring mouths momentarily erasing Brian's memory. For a few precious seconds everything just felt...right.

Deliciously pale flesh bathed in soft light. Slender limbs tangled within blue satin sheets.

A familiar flash played as vividly as if they were re-enacting it. The same sensual delusion they'd shared that first night of class.

'Merging.' Brian's mind screamed the word with deliberate intensity. 'How could someone so angelic ever have been born from hell?'

By his own admission, Brian Kinney wasn't a religious man. Although, you can't grow up with Saint Joan without learning the basics.

There was good and there was bad.

There was right and there was wrong.

However, right now he was perplexed. Fiercely he wondered how both ends of the spectrum could co-exist. Easily blending together, wrapping itself with this kiss.

Twirling tongues and thoughts were making him dizzy.

Maybe he was being ridiculous. Jumping head first into a sea of conclusions, desperate to drown in his own paranoia.

Any man who could pour this much passion into a kiss couldn't be a killer. Couldn't be a monster. Creatures of the night didn't feel, couldn't care.

He recalled the sadness in Justin's voice when he'd spoken of his late mother. He thought again of the gentleness in his face as he'd listened to Brian talk about Michael.

'Michael.' The thought of his best friend invoked an entirely new set of emotions. Ones the Professor wanted to refuse to address right now. Namely, his innate hatred of fanged predators.

Ever so conflicted, he no longer knew what to think.

"Justin." his own voice breathed without his permission.

With a brutal roughness he snapped back into reality and away from the kiss.

The name he'd just spoken had earlier fallen from the lips of another. Lips who'd never again speak.

The ghost of Ethan's final whisper haunted his thoughts. An echoing reminder of the danger he faced.

The increasing depth of his feelings for this blond, was no longer his only worry.

'No. Unlike these implanted emotions, the fear was real...and all his own.'

Justin was spinning with confusion. He'd damned near suffered whiplash from Brian's hasty retreat from their kiss.

He stared in wonder as he listened in worry. 'Yes. Brian's heart most definitely played terror.' The blood in his veins rushed through the man rapidly. Justin could hear the fear, hear too, the conflicted accompaniment of hope and defeat. More than anything he wanted to know what Brian was thinking.

The walking contradiction himself was now positioned tightly against the door.

Studying his body language and the eyes fixed on his own, Justin tensed. Paused. Remained ever still.

Brian's muscles were rigid, stiff with unease. A nervous tightness assaulted his own muscles. A millisecond before he'd asked the brunet what was wrong, the Professor beat him to the punch.

"He said your name." Brian rasped, several syllables getting caught in his throat.

"What? Who? Brian, what's going on?" Justin asked gently and began to step forward

Brian's eyes widened at the sight of the blond's raised foot, he was also attempting to press himself impossibly closer to the door. His heart rate escalated.

Noting the man's obvious desire to keep his distance, Justin returned his foot to the ground, and remained in place.

Once an acceptable width was decided, Brian spoke again.

"Ethan, he said your name. you killed him." Brian's words broke in sync with Justin's heart.

"Ethan?" Justin whispered, then met Brian's eyes.

The brunet rushed to unlock their gaze and looked at the floor.

Justin's mind was consumed with questions not a single answer among them.

"Surveillance! I saw it, I heard it. He said your name." Brian rattled in wisps of hard to catch breaths. "You're, You're...a..." he let his voice trail into a stream of silence, hot salty tears matching the current.

Justin was dumbfounded. Awe-stricken, and fucking terrified.

Not only had Brian indeed learned his secret, he had also drawn the conclusion that he had killed Ethan.

He cursed his curse with reckless vigor.

Brian was filling the blond with so much information, and weighted pain. 'Why then, did he feel so hollow?'

He didn't know what to say. Remaining shocked, still and silent, he stepped forward again. This time with no objection from Brian.

When he was but inches from this beautifully wrecked man, Brian lifted his head; eyes clouded with so much hurt, that surely they could no longer see.

Justin could neither confirm or deny his responsibility for Ethan. However, his silence spoke volumes. Unequivocally he hadn't needed words to tell Brian he was right. 'He was a monster.'

Listening to the fractured melody of the brunet's heart; Justin felt helpless. Hopeless.

The vampire's train of thought surged full speed ahead. Veering off track, destined for a collision of cataclysmic proportions. Soon it'd be crashing into all reason. Ending reality as he knew it. His already deceased heart, it's only fatality.

'Nothing would ever be the same.'

He wanted nothing more than to dissolve into the darkness surrounding his existence. Disappear into nothingness.

When Brian's pulse quickened Justin emerged back into the light. Though the horrendous notes still played, the Professor's heart betrayed him. Faintly in the distance it existed. The blond was certain. Listening intently, his tummy flipped a little.

The sweet sound of 'love' still lingered in Brian's beats. This fact caused Justin's mind to dance. Swaying in the rhythm of distant music.

Unfortunately, Brian had had an entirely different reaction. One that put an end to all of the waltzing steps in Justin's mind. He sounded...disgusted. Ashamed. The boisterous new emotions screamed from his veins.

Justin's knees buckled, vertigo ruthless in it's pursuit to push him down.

"It's not real." Brian suddenly said, feverishly fighting the quaver in his voice. He straightened his posture as he appeared to gain his confidence by the second. He met Justin's eyes, teeth clenched he spoke again.

"You've compelled me. Made me a prisoner to my own emotions. You've altered my thoughts with your voodoo mind tricks!" he practically roared the end of the sentence. His usually graceful limbs flailed like a madman.

When he'd flung his arm outward, Justin flinched. He took several steps back, his insides cowered.

He had never compelled Brian. Even given everything that had been discovered, the blond couldn't help but feel annoyed; angry even, that Brian didn't believe his own heart.

The brunet's words were blade edged, slicing through him.

"No!" Justin cried "I never." he fiercely shook his head "I didn't, I couldn't...I wouldn't." he stated firmly.

Certainly Brian could deduce that if Justin had had any intentions on compelling him...they wouldn't be here. Quickly and effortlessly, he'd have made all of this vanish.

A part of the vampire once again longed to do exactly that. Erase the fear from hazel. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He knew all too well how it felt to be robbed of your memories. He would never take away Brian's free will. Everything he felt and thought was what made him the man that Justin loved. Good or bad, he'd endure and embrace every genuine feeling.

"You were always in control of your own heart. Brian," his voice lowered "your emotions, your thoughts, those are yours." he insisted with pleading eyes.

Feeling himself begin to soften his resistance, Brian sighed heavily. 'Was it true? His feelings were real?'

Instinctively, he reconstructed the walls around his heart. Barricaded himself in impenetrable armor. 'No. Justin had to be lying. He couldn't listen to anymore of this.'

Frantically he fumbled to remove his keys from his coat; dropping them in his rush. He paused for a moment and just stared. He glanced at Justin who, too, was currently eying the glistening crucifix at Brian's feet.

Justin ached over Brian's conflict. He looked at the cross affixed to the man's keys. When Brian hadn't immediately retrieved them, Justin understood. This was surely meant to be a test.

Admittedly, slightly worried, he approached the offending heap of metal. Though it could potentially sear his skin, he needed to prove to Brian that he was harmless.

Without further pause, he bent down and picked them up. The smooth silver met his flesh with ease.

It disheartened him.

Only when it's owner does truly believe, will a religious relic render power against the damned.

Justin was overwhelmed with a deepening sadness. He couldn't bear the fact that Brian had no faith. Regardless, he refused to believe that a soul as beautiful as Brian Kinney's wouldn't be granted eternal salvation.

Wordlessly, he offered the keys to Brian. Hesitantly, he took them.

Fingers brushed with electric intensity, both men gasped. Eyes locked, momentarily forgetting the world.

Suddenly Justin remembered what had brought him here tonight. 'Brandon.'

"Brian, I'm worried..." he was hushed.

"Don't!" the Professor snapped, louder than he'd intended. The heavy octave hitting the quiet hall. "Justin." he said faintly. It was the first time he'd addressed the vampire by name since he'd confirmed his true self.

A fact that plagued them both.

Justin had heard hope in that whispered name.

Brian had heard defiance.

His fucking disobedient heart was relentlessly pushing him toward the very thing he wished to run away from.

Finally getting the key in the door, he pressed it open. Not meeting blue, he kept his head down.

"I, I just...can't." he finished, then entered the apartment. Locking the door behind him.

Unsure at the moment just who he was protecting. 'Was he preventing the other man from coming in, or himself from going to him? Man?' he scoffed. 'The blond was not a human.' Brian's stomach stirred at the reminder. He refused to contemplate the vampire's true age or his true intentions.

A vile taste of truth tainted his tongue.

Stripping off his clothes, though unable to remove the heart from his sleeve; he took a bottle of beam to bed. A liquid distraction.

He pushed his head deep into the pillow, in hopes of pushing himself further from his racing mind.

He could make no sense of his feelings.

Just steps away, he was positive Justin still stood. He screamed at the part of himself that wanted to be near the blond. 'How could it now pain him to have the solitude he craved?'

His thoughts were exhausted, his heart was too tired to fight.

Wrapped tightly in a shroud of denial and forgotten lullabies he drifted to sleep.

Several feet away, though the distance felt infinite, Justin Taylor stayed. Worried for Brian if Brandon appeared, he wasn't going anywhere. He slid his tired body down the length of the apartment door.

A doorway between the heaven he would never see, and his own personal hell.