Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

Justin  

The lighting was too bright and it hurt his eyes.  A strong medicinal odor of antiseptic permeated the cold, sterile room.  In a solitary chair near the window sat the ruddy faced policeman who had been assigned to watch over him.  Although Justin wondered if you could go to jail for trying to off yourself, he didn't bother to ask the officer.  He figured he would know his fate soon enough.   

As he had promised, Dr. Vaughn had returned.  However, this time he was not alone.  He had Brian and Jennifer trailing behind him.   Since everything was out in the open now, Justin felt oddly calm.  No more secrets.   

The three older adults arranged themselves at the foot of his bed.  That should have been his first hint of impending doom.  The way they faced him eerily resembled an old-fashioned firing squad preparing themselves to dole out a harsh, but swift punishment.  

"Justin," the doctor cut straight to the point, "we've discussed the best course of treatment for you and have come to a decision."   

"You've discussed my treatment?" he reiterated.  What gave them the right to make a decision about his life?  

"Yes.  In light of the circumstances we feel that you no longer have a say.  You've been fooling everyone young man, including me.  If it wasn't for Mr. Kinney's quick actions you wouldn't be around to have this conversation."  

When he said that Jennifer, who stood to the doctor's left, blanched.  He could see that her cheeks were stained with tears.  For a minute Justin felt guilty.  But as he listened to the eccentric psychiatrist outlining their "plan" to save him, his initial curiosity quickly turned to outrage.  

"You're what?  Going to lock me up like some prisoner?"  

Brian, who had up to this point been stoic, finally spoke, his masculine voice strong and clear.   

"Well, what did you expect?  You act like a fucking head case, you're going to get treated like one."  

Justin threw him a vicious glare.  Then he focused the brunt of his displeasure onto his mother.  

"You agreed to this?  I at least thought my own mother would be on my side."  

"I am on your side.  That's why I agreed.  Justin, your behavior...the way you mutilated your own body.  I'm afraid for you.  Don't you see, you need help."  

"I can stop anytime I want."  

"Is that what you really think?" Dr. Vaughn challenged.  "Your emotions are all over the place right now.  This program will teach you how to deal with them and work through what caused you to harm yourself in the first place.  Ethan was an important part of your life, it's understandable..."  

"I don't want to talk about it," Justin snapped.  

"There, you've proved my point.  That's precisely why you need the help."  

"Please honey, don't fight us on this," his mother implored him.  

Justin retreated into silence.  He could see that anything he said wasn't going to sway the group's decision.   

"Mrs. Taylor, I'll need you to fill out some forms."  

"Of course, doctor.  I'll be right back," she directed at Justin.  

The police officer, who had been taking it all in, stood up.  He stretched his legs and then took a few steps forward.   

"I need to finish getting some information from your doctor.  After that, my job here is done and I won't be back.  So, good luck, Mr. Taylor.  I hope everything works out for you."   

Officer Smith gave Justin's shoulder an encouraging squeeze and a nod to Brian before he exited the room.      

 

Brian  

The small room had emptied out quickly.  All that remained was him, Justin and a nurse who was presently fussing with the dressing on the young man's wounds.  

Countless times in the past few months he had asked Justin if he was alright, had tried to get him to talk.  He faithfully drove him to every one of his therapy sessions even though he had to leave work early.  As far as Brian was concerned, he had more than fulfilled his designated role and had been there for the young man.   

The realization suddenly dawned on him that he hadn't fucked this up as Mel had accused.  Ultimately, it was Justin who was responsible for his own actions.  Brian was through being patient with the troubled kid.  Catering to him had not worked.  

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed when Justin's baby blues briefly skimmed over the only entrance to the room.

"Don't even think about it, Speedy Gonzalez," Brian warned, a frown on his face.  

Justin smirked at Brian's remark despite himself.  

"I suppose you're relieved that I won't be your responsibility any more.  No more babysitting."  

"Actually, I am.  You know, if you weren't acting like such a pathetic brat, you wouldn't be in this predicament."  

"And how am I supposed to act?"  

"Like a man.  Instead of running away from your problems face them, head on."  

"And you're such an expert at that?"  

"No, but I've never punished my family in the process and I've never taken the easy way out," Brian chided.  

"What does that mean?"  

"Let me spell it out for you.  Your little drama is taking its toll on your mother.  She almost collapsed in the waiting room."  

The blond's expression changed, startled at this revelation.  He had Justin's full attention now, so he continued.  

"The doctor said she's been under too much stress.  Her blood pressure was very high.  He's prescribed medication and ordered her to rest."  

"She didn't say anything," Justin said in a low voice.  

"Of course, she didn't.  Mother Taylor's doing what she always does, protecting her son.  She'd give anything for you to be okay, to move on with your life.  And what do you do?  You keep trying to end it."  

Justin stared into space, entranced with his thoughts about his mother's fragile state.   

Brian furrowed his brow.  Moving in for the kill, he leaned down to whisper in Justin's ear.  

"So what is it going to be, Sunshine?  Should I assist poor Mother Taylor in planning your funeral?"  

Even though Justin didn't have a right to be, he could detect the kid was pissed.  Brian knew how to get under his ex-lover's skin like no one else could.  

"Fuck off!"   

Brian deflected the blond's bitter retort with a dismissive, curt laugh.  The nurse shifted uncomfortably near the window probably wishing she were somewhere else.  

"It's your life, it's your decision," he proclaimed and then abruptly departed, exhausted and uncharacteristically unnerved by the evening's harrowing events.      

 

Justin    

When the doctor said the program had strict rules, he wasn't kidding.  The only positive thing was that he had a room to himself.  At least he didn't have to share with any of the other crazies.  

Although Dr. Vaughn was not in charge of the program, he would serve as a consultant on Justin's case.  He was still seething with anger as the doors to the ward were locked behind him, feeling betrayed by the two people he had loved the most.  But somehow, knowing that he couldn't have any visitors made him long to see a familiar face.   

The policy of the program was that you had no visitors or outside calls your first week.  After that he was allowed one phone call a week and could only receive visitors with the program director's permission.  Justin was told the protocol was devised to help the new admits assimilate to their new living arrangement.  

Justin was amusingly reminded of a Robert Palmer video when he saw that everyone looked like clones of each other, garbed in putrid green jump suits with matching green slippers.  He was dutifully informed by a muscle-bound orderly that this was due to the fact that "residents" were not allowed to wear belts or shoelaces because they "might be a danger to themselves, blah, blah, blah...".  

Breakfast, lunch and dinner were served at precisely the same time every day.  They were told what time to shower, when they could watch TV and even how they could wear their hair.  He had already been advised by a nurse named Jean that tomorrow they were going to give him a haircut, because according to their standards his hair was too long.   

Justin's eyes swept solemnly over the other young men in the common room.  By tomorrow he would blend in with everyone else.   

He absolutely hated it.              

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