Brian  

He couldn't even defend himself as Melanie continued to blame and berate him for Justin's self-mutilation.  She was right after all.  Why hadn't he been the one to uncover that the troubled young man was disfiguring himself?  He had failed Jennifer and worst of all, he had failed Justin.  

"You better fix this, Brian," Melanie threatened before she ended the call by slamming the phone down, the harsh sound reverberating in his ear.  

Their brief but intense exchange had caused beads of sweat to gather on his brow.  Although his vision was clouded by a dull throbbing pain, Brian had only one objective in sight, to find Justin and confront him.      

Justin  

The more he thought about his solo exhibition, the more he wanted to punish himself for moving on with his life, for being the one to survive...    Why was he thinking about cutting himself when he had barely escaped Lindsay's morally correct proclivity for doing the right thing?   

Ethan... Fuck, I miss you and that twinkle you'd get in your eye when you bowed your violin.  I know you said you forgive me, but I can't forgive myself for causing your death.  I'm so sorry.  

Justin sought out the knife to give him some relief from his misery when he heard a loud knock at the front door, followed by heated words between Jennifer and a man.  He was about to investigate what all the commotion was about when he had an epiphany.  

Hell, he'd recognize that voice anywhere, even if it was distorted by anger.  Brian      

Jennifer  

"Where is he?" Brian demanded.  

His face was flushed and his eyes were wild.  She'd never seen him like this before.  

"Brian, what on earth are you doing?"  

Normally cool, calm and collected, Jennifer was suddenly alarmed by the way he was acting, sparking her protective side.  There was no way she was going to let Brian near her son in his current condition.  

"Justin, get out here!"  

"Brian please, calm down..."  

He effortlessly pushed his way past Jennifer and barged into Molly's room.  

"Brian, if you don't stop this I'll call the police," Jennifer said, her voice shrill with panic as she came up behind him.  

From her viewpoint she could observe the startled expression on Justin's face.   

"I know all about your little secret," Brian directed at Justin.  

"I don't know..."  

"Don't try to deny it.  Lindsay told Mel about what happened at the gallery.  And dear Melanie couldn't wait to inform me of the news."  

"I don't understand," Jennifer interjected.  "Justin, what is he talking about?"  

In two long strides Brian was at Justin's side.  He grabbed his left wrist and nearly ripped the sleeve of the blond's shirt when he roughly tugged it back.  

Seeing the jagged row of slices on her son's arm made Jennifer gasp.   

"Why, how..."  

"Seems Justin has developed a nasty habit of cutting himself, while he's been fooling all of us into thinking he's better," Brian said with disgust.  "Stupid little twat!"  

Jennifer ambled towards Justin and stood before him trembling, "Tell me you didn't do that to yourself.  Tell me!"  

Justin jerked his arm back from Brian's grasp and couldn't dare meet the gaze of the distraught woman before him.        

Justin  

Oh God.  They knew.   

The secret he thought he'd been guarding so cleverly was exposed.  A myriad of emotions came bubbling to the surface...pain, fear, humiliation...   

Justin felt as if he were seventeen again and his mother had confronted him about being gay.  When she had asked if he had a boyfriend it had sent him running off in a panic down the street.  

His mother appeared to be devastated when it finally sunk in exactly what he had done and why.  She was pale and looked as if she were going to faint.  Brian must have noticed too because he reached out to catch her before she could collapse to the ground.  

It was too much.  Knowing that he was causing more pain.  He had to get out of there.  He had to get away.  

Justin seized that opportune moment to make his break.  He bolted toward the doorway, desperate to escape.  

Brian attempted to lunge at him as he whizzed by.  However, he couldn't quite get a firm grasp of the material of the back of Justin's shirt since he was supporting the weight of a heartbroken Jennifer.   

He'd never forget the look on their faces.   

They didn't deserves this.      

Brian  

Damn him!  The little shit was getting away.  

Brian gently deposited Jennifer on the bed before he took off in pursuit of Justin.  He was determined to catch up to him.  Although the kid had youth on his side he knew he was in good shape from years as a college athlete along with obsessive workouts at the gym.  

There was a flash of blue a block ahead of him as Justin turned the corner.  Brian sprinted after him, chasing him down one street and up another.  At one point, Justin made the mistake of looking back to see where Brian was.  It afforded him the time he needed to shorten the gap between them.  

The kid dodged into a building, no doubt hoping to lose him.  Brian charged into the apartment complex, flying past the elevators to the stairs.  His instincts had been correct because he soon heard the harried footsteps and heavy breathing on the flight above him.   

"Justin, stop!"  

It was evident the kid wasn't going to slow down, so he kept up the pace as the adrenalin surged through him.  

Justin must be headed to the roof.  There wasn't any other place for him to go.  

When Brian reached the door to the roof, with outstretched hands he burst through, employing one forceful push.  

What he saw made him instantly freeze in place.  His breath caught in his throat as he observed Justin climbing atop a ledge.  
 

"Stop, or I'll jump right now," the young man warned.  

"Justin, get the fuck down from there."  

He took a step forward.  

"I mean it, Brian."   Justin turned and peered down at the street below.  

Brian stopped moving.  He didn't want to take the chance because he wasn't sure of Justin's state of mind at the moment.  

"Talk to me, please."  

Justin did a 180, finally looking Brian directly in the eyes due to the strain he detected in the man's voice.  

"I'm sorry, I can't."  

"What's been disturbing you so much that you haven't been able to tell me?  Justin, you used to tell me about everything," Brian heard himself say with a quivering timbre to it.  

Justin misted up and finally confessed, "I'm a horrible person.  All I do is cause pain."  

"You're not a horrible person and you've always given everyone so much joy.  Debbie even calls you Sunshine."  

Brian cautiously took another step closer.  

"They don't know the truth about me."  

"And what is the truth?  Tell me."  

"You'd hate me."  

"I can handle it and I promise, nothing you say can ever cause me to hate you."  

"What about when I left you, did you hate me then?" Justin shot back.  

"I understood why you did it," Brian said softly.  

"Did you, really?  Because it took me a long time to understand it myself."  

"Get down and we'll talk about it," the older man said trying to lure Justin off the building's cusp.  

"No, I have to end this.  Memories of him are all around me, they're haunting me.  I just want the pain to go away."  

"Ethan?  Does this have to do with his death?"  

"I killed him," Justin shouted.  

"Why the fuck would you say that?  It was an accident."  

"I hurt him so much and I'm the one who should have died instead of him."  

"And how is that, are you God?"  

"No, that's not it.  In the end he knew I could never love him...the way I loved you."  

Upon hearing Justin's impromptu admission, Brian managed to stifle his surprise.  Instead, he questioned, "I thought you hadn't broken up with him yet?"  

"I hadn't, but he knew.  Even though he realized how I felt, how unfair I'd been to him, he still loved me," Justin said, tears beginning to cascade down his cheeks.  

"You can't help who you love," Brian said in an effort to absolve some of the kid's guilt.   

"You still don't get it."  

"Then enlighten me, Justin."  

"I killed him.  It's time to atone for his death."  

"You keep saying that.  Why do you think it was your fault?"  

Justin was resigned to telling him everything now, he could see it in his face.  He waited patiently for the young man to begin speaking.  

"I hated flying.  I was afraid I might get an anxiety attack on the long flight home." 

The tormented blond hesitated, taking long enough that Brian felt the need to prompt him. 

"Go on."  

"I ...I asked him to switch seats with me.  I was the one who was supposed to sit near the window.  I was the one who was supposed to die that day, not Ethan."  

Justin's strangled sobs that followed were tearing at his heart.  No wonder the kid was in so much pain.   

The next few minutes seemed to be happening in slow motion...Justin's melt down inadvertently caused his footing to slip.   

"Justin!" Brian yelled frantically as the blond began to topple over.