Brian
 
He took another drag from his cigarette, releasing a plume of smoke.  Thinking about Justin Taylor was bad for his health.  Brian ditched the cancer stick and pinched the bridge of his nose.  The crown of his head was beginning to throb.  
 
Fanfuckingtastic!   
 
He was due to give a presentation in a half hour.  Brian willed the pain to go away, as well as the daunting image in his head of the grieving blond.  He straightened out his tie and climbed into his car.
 
As soon as he entered his office, he consumed two aspirin, chasing them down with a few gulps from a bottle of Evian.  No time to waste, he had to throw himself into his work.  That was his refuge.  Just as it had always been these past few years with Justin gone.
 
Brian shook off the remains of the headache, gathered up his presentation and headed to the conference room.  With any luck he'd have them eating out of his hand in another hour.  He took a deep breath, put on his best smile and pushed open the door.
 
 
Justin
 
He was thankful to be home.  How ironic after his need to escape this morning.  But it had proved more difficult than he had imagined to endure Debbie's mothering, or rather her smothering, and the gang's well meaning attempts to engage him in mindless conversation. 
 
Justin admitted to himself that seeing Brian had been disturbing.  He knew that he was going to run into him eventually, but he didn't expect to feel what he felt.  He felt...nothing.  He felt dead inside. 
 
They had acted like strangers, awkwardly tiptoeing around each other.  Seeing his first love after all this time had turned out quite different than he had imagined. 
 
Ethan's tortured voice sliced through the current thoughts swirling around in his head, You're still in love with him.
 
'Ethan...'
 
Justin's entire being flooded with remorse and guilt because he knew he had been the cause of Ethan's anguish in his final hours.  He should have died from the plane crash, not his boyfriend.
 
"Justin....are you okay?" Jennifer questioned her son, who was standing immobilized with a pained look on his face. 
 
"Huh, oh...uh...yeah."
 
"Debbie called me and said that you had been at the diner.  She also told me that Brian walked in."
 
Justin frowned.  Why did everyone view him as fragile and weak?  They thought it was their role to protect him from big, bad Brian.  In truth, it was Brian who needed to be protected from him.  He caused everyone heartache, especially the people he loved. 
 
When he had walked away from Brian, he had made a terrible mistake.  He knew in his heart that he was hurting the older man; that he was being immature and foolish.  Yet, he stubbornly followed through with a decision he thought would make him happy.  He naively didn't stop to consider that Brian had shown him that he loved him every day by his actions, even if he never said the actual words. 
 
He recalled how surprised he was to see the underlying sadness in the older man's eyes when he had run into him a month after he and Ethan were together.  Thinking back to that time, he realized Michael had been justified in lashing out at him that day in the alley.  He really had acted like a selfish, little shit.
 
"Justin?"  His mother's concerned voice jarred him back to the present.
 
"Yes, Mother, Brian was there."
 
Jennifer bit her lip, not sure if she should express her concerns out loud.  In the end, her motherly nature presided and she offered her heartfelt advice. 
 
"Justin, sweetheart, you're very vulnerable right now.  I would hate to see you do something you might regret."
 
Justin let out a snicker.  "Don't worry, Mom, I have no intention of fucking Mr. Kinney."
 
Jennifer cringed a little at his bluntness.
 
He continued, "In fact, we're not even comfortable around each other anymore."
 
"I'm sorry," Jennifer said.  "I know how much you cared for each other."
 
"That seems like such a long time ago," Justin replied in a melancholy tone.  He began to feel numb again. 
 
"I'm going to lay down."
 
"Justin..." his mother called after him, but he didn't seem to hear her.
 
Jennifer watched her first born retreat to the confines of his room.  She was worried about him.  He had not shed a tear at the memorial nor talked about the accident.  Sooner or later his emotions were going to catch up to him.  She only prayed that when it happened, the intensity of his feelings would not crush him.
 
 
 
Brian
 
The flashing, colored lights and pretty boys dancing made him feel at ease.  Babylon was his baby, his domain.  He didn't have to think, he could just be.  It was easy to get lost in the music and the titillating atmosphere. 
 
Brian threw his head back to allow the last of his Jim Beam to glide down his throat.  This was his third drink of the night and he had a nice buzz going.  Although he had long ago stopped fucking everything that moved, he sometimes came here when he was particularly stressed to let off some steam.  A good blow job or a quick, hard fuck always seemed to help.
 
He perused the room, looking for some deserving prospects.  He wanted to forget about everything that had happened the past few days.  He especially wanted to forget about Justin, whose face kept materializing in his nightly dreams. 
 
Hmmm...tall,dark...muscular build...nice butt.  He'll do.
 
Brian made his way across the catwalk to the steps that would lead him to his target.  He froze when he spotted a familiar face.
 
What the fuck...why was he here?  Shouldn't he be at Jennifer's house grieving for his lost love?
 
His eyes stayed trained on the blond, following his every move.  Justin was downing a drink while swallowing something suspiciously looking like pills.  That's right...pills, as in more than one. 
 
Shit! 
 
His attention remained on the blond as he swaggered onto the dance floor.  Justin brazenly began rubbing his body against a beefy hunk, who was wearing a cut off tee shirt and tight jeans.  They soon disappeared together into the dark, seductive recesses of the back room.
 
Brian considered intervening, but thought better of it. 
 
Justin was an adult.  It was not his place to say anything.
 
He was relieved when the blond emerged looking sweaty and wasted, but okay.  He began to descend the steps when he noticed someone else approach Justin.  They were talking near the bar, but Brian couldn't see them very well from his vantage point.  By the time he made his way toward the bar, Justin and the guy were already heading to the back room.
 
Again, Brian waited and refrained from doing anything.  What was going on with the kid?  Two tricks in the span of one hour?
 
Ten minutes later a bleary eyed Justin was back at the bar.  He was slurring his words while ordering another drink.
 
This time, Brian stepped in.
 
"I think you've had enough for tonight."
 
Justin turned his head to glare in the direction of the voice.  Icy blue orbs gazed straight into the brunet's hazel ones. 
 
"Fuck off."  The harsh words were delivered loud and clear.
 
"Mixing pills and booze...  What exactly are you trying to do?"
 
"I would have thought you above everyone else would know."
 
Brian raised his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.  When there was none, he reiterated, "Time for you to call it a night."
 
"Leave me the fuck alone.  You can't tell me what to do."
 
He snatched his bottle of beer and began to walk away when Brian grabbed him by the arm.
 
"Let me take you home," Brian said, trying to be patient with the young man.
 
"Why, so you can fuck me?"
 
"I merely want to ensure that you get home to your mommy, safe and sound."
 
"I can take care of myself.  Besides, you taught me well."  He smugly added, "What's the matter, can't handle the competition old man?"
 
Exasperated, Brian relinquished his grip on the blond.  Justin defiantly proceeded to walk straight up to a slender, fresh-faced twink.  Aware of his audience, he reached out and traced a finger down the bare, glistening chest. 
 
Brian wondered how long the blond would be able to keep this up.  He definitely didn't care to witness any more of the show.
 
Perplexed and disgusted, he ordered one of his bouncers to keep an eye on Justin, then retired upstairs to brood in his office. 
 
Why the fuck was Justin so angry at him?