Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:

Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!  Thank you!

Brian
 
He wasn't sure that he should even be at Ethan's memorial, but Michael had mentioned it to him, and he felt compelled to go.  Brian certainly didn't attend for Ethan, although he did feel a modicum of regret about the violinist's untimely death.  His real motivation was to get a glimpse of the person who had turned his world upside down years ago.
 
Observing his surroundings, Brian was secretly impressed.  Legions of people had shown up, some were most assuredly acquaintances of Ethan and others, most likely fans.  Brian lurked in the background, not wanting to be noticed.  It was easy to blend into the growing crowd of mourners that were milling about.
 
His eyes searched and honed in on the fair haired young man, who remained befittingly close to the closed casket.  A line which had formed to pay their respects, slowly filtered towards the solemn boyfriend, duly attired in a black suit, white dress shirt and charcoal tie. 
 
Justin looked uncomfortable, Brian thought. It sparked him to recall how the lad had squirmed the couple of times he wore formal garb in his presence.  Justin had always been more of a tee shirt and jeans type.  The fact that he was willing to endure a stifling suit for the occasion spoke volumes about his feelings for Ethan. 
 
Flanked protectively on either side of the grieving young man were Jennifer Taylor and Emmett.  They were anchoring Justin, but also noticeably monitoring his facial expressions.  He guessed they were looking for any sign that Justin was ready to break down.  Brian realized that he was grateful the two of them were by his side for support.  
 
He maneuvered closer to get a better look.  The perfectly quaffed honey colored mane was longer than he remembered.  He wasn't able to see Justin's beautiful blue eyes, nor did he care to.  He did not want to be privy to the pain and sorrow of someone who has lost his true love, especially if it was Justin.  It would strike an all too familiar chord within him.  One that he would rather not replay in his heart or mind.
 
"Brian...Brian," Michael called, somewhere off to his right.  "There you are.  Why are you standing here?  Why don't you go up to him?"
 
"I'm quite satisfied to linger back here, Mikey.  Besides, I would probably be the last person he would want to see today."
 
"How do you figure that?"
 
Brian just shrugged, avoiding eye contact with his childhood pal.  He was positive the blond would not want to see him, however he couldn't find the right words to explain it to his best friend. 
 
Although Brian was undeniably concerned about his former love, it was not the place to re-enter his life after all this time, and under these particular circumstances.  He would eventually express his condolences to the grief stricken younger man in his own way, in his own time.
 
"Well, I'm going to lend Justin my support.  I just have to find Ben first," Michael stated, scanning the room.
 
"My have times changed," Brian noted with an air of sarcasm.
 
Michael's full attention returned to Brian and he stood there, obviously waiting for his friend to enlighten him.
 
Brian did not resist the urge to continue, "Who would have ever thought that you would be consoling the Boy Wonder?"
 
Annoyed with Brian's tone, Michael responded, "Yeah well, people grow up.  They change.  Everyone except you, of course."
 
Brian frowned at the dig.  When had Michael become so sanctimonious?  He gripped him by the shoulders and declared as nonchalantly as possible, "Time for me to take my leave.  So why don't you run along and go give the lad a shoulder to cry on, Saint Michael." 
 
He then gave a gentle push, propelling a ruffled Michael in Justin's direction.
 
 
 
Justin
 
 
If it wasn't for the fact that he wanted to ensure Ethan got the proper respect due to him, he wouldn't be there.  He loathed adhering to the social graces.  His country club upbringing had alerted him to the sad reality that people were generally unkind and self-serving.  A good portion of the people there were probably eager to assuage their curiosity about Ethan's unconventional relationship, as well as gossip about the tragic circumstances under which he had perished.  Justin wished he had the power to know who was sincere and who was not.
 
He was holding it together, albeit barely.  The endless onslaught of condolences and well meaning family and friends made him desperate to seek an escape.  He would surely be hiding his head in the ground like an ostrich, if it weren't for his mother and Emmett's presence.  They were practically holding him up, infusing their combined strength into him.
 
Brian, why hadn't Brian come? the question resounded in his mind.  Why did it matter so much to him that he wasn't there?  Had he actually expected Brian to swoop in and save him? 
 
This was definitely not Brian's scene.  He did not do death.  Just like he did not do a lot of things.  Justin should have known better.  But still, a part of him had hoped Brian would be there to comfort him. 
 
The numbness had returned.   Why couldn't he weep for Ethan anymore?  
 
He spotted Michael and Ben heading towards him with sympathetic eyes.  Both of them took turns hugging him and offering the obligatory condolences.  Even in his zombie-like state he was a little unprepared and ill at ease with Michael's sudden change in attitude towards him. 
 
He remembered vividly how Michael had openly despised him for leaving Brian.  He would never forget the scathing tongue lashing he was given in the alley of the diner.  However, Justin readily acknowledged that the nasty incident had occurred several years ago.  He further surmised that evidently time, as well as the tragic events surrounding his current status, had mellowed Michael's negative feelings toward him.
 
Some time later, in the sanctity of Jennifer's home, Justin loosened his tie, took off his suit jacket, and finally relaxed.  Thank Heavens he had made it through the memorial.  He was forever indebted to his mother for preventing Debbie from talking them into returning to the Novotny house for a family dinner.  It had been a long day and he just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep.  He suddenly felt tired and weak.
 
 
Brian
 
He didn't know why he seemed to have such little patience for Michael these days.  Sometimes he felt as if he didn't know his best friend at all.  It perturbed him that Michael seemed to be changing into a Stepford fag right before his very eyes. 
 
Shuffling back to his car, Brian knew he probably should have made his presence known to Justin.  However, he wasn't sure of what Justin's reaction would be.  He wanted to prevent the young man from feeling even more uncomfortable than he obviously was. 
 
At least he managed to achieve what he had set out to do.  The purpose of his appearance was to ensure that the blond was alright.  With friends and family hovering around him, Brian knew he would be well cared for.  He would rebound from this, just like he had survived the bashing.
 
 
Three days later...
 
Justin was sick of everyone walking on eggshells around him.  Christ, even his little sister was being nice to him! 
 
He just wanted everything to go back to normal.  When would his mother stop asking him if he was okay?  She was constantly doting on him and underfoot. 
 
It was time for him to venture out to public places.  He knew just where he wanted to start.  He'd stop by the diner for breakfast. 
 
Debbie squealed with delight when her Sunshine walked in.  She gave Justin a bear hug and of course, chided him that he was becoming far too thin.  Then, she proceeded to scurry off to instruct Claude to whip up an ample breakfast to fatten him up.
 
Justin waited at the counter for the inevitable feast of breakfast foods that Debbie would force upon him.  He felt the hair at the nape of his neck rise when he recognized Brian's distinct voice. 
 
The older man stopped in his tracks and paused, while Ted and Emmett immediately went over to Justin when they noticed him.  Warm greetings were exchanged between the friends.
 
Brian stepped forward and heard Ted remark, "Hey Bri, look who's here."  However, he couldn't seem to move his lips to respond.
 
Justin recovered first, managing to formulate one word, "Brian." 
 
"Justin."
 
An awkward silence followed.  Then Brian anxiously cleared his throat and stated, "I want to extend my sympathies for your loss."
 
"Thank you."
 
During the brief exchange Ted and Emmett had somehow magically disappeared, leaving them alone.
 
"So, how are you doing?" Brian asked.  He knew the answer, but he didn't know what else to say.  The kid looked like shit.
 
"Okay, I guess."
 
"Good.  If you need anything let me know,"  Brian offered, surprising even himself.
 
"Thanks."
 
For once Brian was grateful for Debbie's interference, as she unintentionally interrupted their conversation when she brought out a mountain of steaming food.
 
"You're not leaving here until you eat every morsel on that plate, young man."
 
Brian couldn't hide the amused smirk blossoming on his face.  The rambunctious redhead cast him a warning glance.
 
Justin managed a small, embarrassed smile and conceded, "I guess I should start eating."
 
"Later," Brian said before taking his seat at the booth with his wide eyed friends.  He tried his best to conceal how much this unexpected encounter with Justin had affected him. 
 
Underneath his cool exterior his heart was pounding and his hands were sweaty.  Brian drew a sharp intake of breath before sipping his freshly poured cup of coffee.  Although this was the first time he had bumped into Justin, he was sure it wasn't going to be his last.  He would just have to learn to deal with it.  Hopefully it would get easier with time.
 
 
 

You must login (register) to review.