Special thanks to besame_bj for introducing me to Google Doc.


The Improved Final Chapter to “For the Love of Kai.”

“We’re having pizza tonight, right?” Gus asked for the third time as he and Brian drove to the loft. It had become their monthly ritual: the last Friday of every month meant that Gus would go home with Brian and stay with his father, Justin and Kai until Sunday evening, when the four would meet Lindsay and Mel at Deb’s house for dinner with the rest of the gang.

It had been a difficult first six months, full of transitions and tantrums... not just from Gus, but also from Kai... and Justin... and Brian was man enough to admit that he to had several “moments.”

The first Friday that Gus spent the weekend over was actually Kai’s first weekend after spending spring break with Justin and Brian. Justin was a bundle of nerves since the he had spent the week setting up the boys’ room, organizing Kai’s private and county services, hiring a shadow for day care and trying to engage his brother at every waking moment... all while trying to stay as positive as humanly possibly. Brian had felt bad for his partner, but there wasn’t much he could do since he was juggling several clients at a time, each worth close to a million dollars.  Needless to say, when Brian was confronted about his “neglect,” neither man was willing to back down without a fight.

And the fights rarely stopped for the first couple of months, which took of a toll on everyone.

“I don’t like the pizza Kai eats. I don’t have to eat it, do I?” Gus asks, making a face. Ever since Brian and Justin discovered that Kai was allergic to dairy, they kept milk products out of their home. Not wanting to stop their tradition with Gus though, they still ordered pizza on the last Friday of every month... only now they ordered it at a place called “Mandy’s Pizza,” which offered a gluten and dairy free pizza that actually tasted good. Gus was still able to eat his wheat and dairy filled pizza, but now Kai was able to have his own pizza too.

“No, you don’t have to eat it, Gus. You never do. Justin ordered a regular cheese, just like always.” Brian confirmed as he turned the corner onto his street.

Rituals and routines were important, as both Brian and Justin had discovered quickly. Not only for Kai, who had a hard time every Saturday morning when he realized he wasn’t going to daycare, but also for Gus, when one night they thought it would be “fun,” to have a Taco Night instead of pizza.

To help both boys, not only was Fridays set as Pizza Night when Gus came over, but Justin also made a picture calendar for Kai that showed the days he went to day care and an event that would take place on the weekend. For example, every Saturday after breakfast, Justin would take Kai to his private occupational therapist and speech therapist who co-treated Kai together at a spacious room in downtown Pittsburgh that was filled with ball pits and platform swings as well as sensory tables and trampolines. Kai loved it there and would always run to the room and throw a fit when it was time to go home. The fits were thankfully getting shorter. On the Saturdays that Gus was over, Brian spent the morning doing something special with his son. It was always different, and it was always Gus’ choice.

“Mama said you went on a date!” Gus stated suddenly while his father parked the car, “why didn’t we Kai stay with me like I do with you when Mommy and Mama have their date night?”

Jennifer had insisted one day, early into “Life with Kai,” that Brian needed to take Justin out for the sake of their relationship. Brian knew she was right, he and Justin were arguing constantly. Justin was exhausted, Brian was exhausted. Bills were mounting and Justin was furious that everything was so expensive. It didn’t matter that they could afford it, well, that Brian could afford it. Justin was all about principal. So he decided to add advocacy to his already busy schedule.

Most of their arguments were pointless. But they were long and loud and often resulted in going to bed angry. Sometime in the middle of the night one of them would roll over and wrap an arm around the other... and then eventually they would fuck, and then go back to sleep. The morning would be a blur as they both hurried into their routine, only to return to the evening for a new argument.  

So since Justin had decreased his education to part time, Brian told him to decide on a restaurant and make a reservation because he didn’t want to choose a place and have to deal with a twink’s queen out over a faulty choice.

Jennifer came over early so she could play with Kai while Justin got ready. She didn’t need to since it was during Kai’s private ABA therapy, which the toddler had three days a week for two hours a session. Justin was at first hesitant about having Kai sit at a table and work with a therapist for six hours a week, especially since Kai spent the first week screaming bloody murder every time the therapist came to their home. But now Kai was a pro at it. And now they had two ABA therapists who alternated their days to ensure that Kai was generalizing what he was learning. And Kai was learning! Maybe it was the 6 hours of ABA, maybe it was the shadows working with him in the day care, maybe it was the private OT and speech therapist, or maybe it was the county special instructor and speech therapist who came once a week individually to work with Kai using a family coaching model and teaching Justin and Brian strategies and ways to help Kai communicate. Maybe it was all of the above.

Whatever it was, Kai was definitely making progress. It wasn’t as fast as Justin had hoped it would be, but progress is progress, so Brian was proud of him.

The first time Jennifer babysat for Kai was another one that they chalked up as a “learning experience.” Brian and Justin had barely made it through the first course when Jennifer had called announcing that they needed to come home because Kai was inconsolable.

Justin had refused to go out on a date again for another two months.

This time Brian made the reservations. Jennifer and Molly came together to take care of Kai, and this time Justin had made a book for his brother that had pictures of Jennifer and Molly and confirmed Kai’s usual bedtime routine. The transition was easier, but when Kai woke up in the middle of the night, he was upset to discover that his brother and Brian weren’t back. And another phone call was made. At least they were able to eat a full course meal.

Three weeks later, they tried again, and this time it worked. Justin and Brian were relieved... and thrilled. Brian couldn’t remember the last time they fucked that much. And after that, the decision was made: every two weeks they had “date night,” and Jennifer and Debbie alternated between the evenings on watching Kai.

Rituals and routines work for everyone.

“Justin’s mom likes watching Kai. She doesn’t get to see him as often as you do,” Brian answered, not wanting to further explain that Mel and Lindsay didn’t want to watch Kai. Brian wasn’t angry about it. He loved Kai like his own son and was happy to have him in his life. He knew however, that not everyone was as accepting as he was, so he didn’t bother making it an issue. Justin of course, was resentful. It all started during the Easter party at the GLC when Kai freaked out over the Easter grass. But really, what the fuck is the deal with Easter grass? Do you really have to put it in your stupid basket? According to Lindsay, yes. Kai had screamed as if she had poured acid over his hands. After that, she kept her distance with him. And Mel later called him ‘difficult’ when they were over at Debbie’s house for dinner and Kai refused to try on a hat that Debbie had made for him and Gus. Justin had no patience for Lindsay and Melanie, so Brian supposed it balanced out.

“I made a picture for Kai at school today,” Gus announced as they exited the car and headed to the elevator. Gus was proud to be in Pre-K now. Brian couldn’t believe it was already September. Justin had taken most of the summer off from school so he could learn as much as he could about autism and take a parent seminar called “Hanen: More than Words” which coached families how to increase communication with their child that had social and communication delays. It was led by a speech pathologist, who also provided a 3x only home visit that involved videotaping interactive routines between them and Kai. Brian, though unable to attend the classes, found the videos to be insightful and appreciated the extra time the speech pathologist had made to make sure Brian was staying up to date on what the parent group was working on each week.

And in a few months, Kai would be three. Justin had him on a waitlist for the LEAP program, which was a private program where children with autism were part of a general education  preschool classroom that was led by both a general ed teacher and a special education teacher. Otherwise, the toddler would probably enroll in one of the county programs that were offered. Justin was anxious because in a few months, Kai would have his first Individualized Planning Meeting which would decide what services and programs Kai would qualify for once he turned three.

“I bet Kai is going to love the picture.” Brian says with a smile, ruffling his son’s hair. He was proud of how accepting Gus was of Kai. He knew it wasn’t always easy, and Gus had his fair share of tantrums over what was fair and what wasn’t. Brian and Justin quickly found out that two kids were much harder to keep happy than one.

But everything was starting to work out.

Justin was even considering that they take a vacation some place... an actual family vacation on one of the weekends Gus would be over. Brian didn’t want to admit that he liked the idea.

But he did. Brian Kinney, domesticated. Who would have thought?

And he didn’t mind one bit.