Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

"I can't believe your father had another child while still married to your mother," Lindsay exclaims, pulling out the containers from the paper bag. "Mel, I didn't know you bought the rice pudding! I thought you didn't want it?"

Mel shrugs, "I figured it would be something light for the asshole's stomach."

The blond woman smiles, ignoring the asshole remark, as she kisses her wife, "You're so thoughtful."

Brian scowls, "Sunshine, cover your eyes before you go blind."

Laughing, Justin takes the containers from Lindsay and puts them on the table before glancing back at Gus, who is standing beside Kai, attempting to have a conversation with him. Finally, the frustrated three year old runs back to the table. "Kai's being mean!"

Surprised, Justin asks, "What do you mean?"

"He won't talk to me." Gus explains, crossing his arms over his chest and for a moment Justin can see Brian's stubborn expression playing out on the preschooler's face.

Smiling softly, Justin explains, "Kai doesn't know how to talk yet."

"How come?" Gus asks, his mood considerbly lighter now that he knew that the toddler wasn't ignoring him.

The blond shrugs, "He just can't. But he will. He likes the mailbox toy," Justin motions to the toy sitting by the sofa. "Why don't you take his hand and guide him over to it. I know Kai will love to play mailman with you."

Eager to play with the toy he hadn't even noticed, Gus runs over to the window and pulls Kai's hand, announcing, "Come on!"

Kai stumbles, but lets himself to led back to the sofa. As soon as Gus lets go of his hand, the toddler is about to turn back to the window, when one of the sturdy, plastic envelopes is pushed into his hand. Kai looks down at the envelope and turns it over again and again.

Gus begins to talk quickly, explaining how he is the mail carrier and starts marching around the mailbox, putting the envelopes inside. He stops and says, "You're one too, Kai. Come on!" He snatches the envelope out of Kai's hand and puts it in the mailbox, "See?"

Kai opens the mailbox and starts pulling the envelopes out while Gus announces that he needs a bag, and runs back to the kitchen to take the empty paper bag from the counter.

"How old is he?" Melanie asks, and Justin can tell from her tone that she is implying that Kai should already be talking.

"He turned two a couple of months ago," Justin replies, sitting down beside Brian and finishing his danish from earlier. He feels Brian's hand land on his thigh, resting there casually, but the blond knows that it's more than that.

"Oh, Justin," Lindsay exclaims, "He really should be talking by now."

No shit. Justin gives her a polite smile. "I know that, Lindsay."

Melanie agrees, "Gus started talking early. Remember when he started talking?" She turns to Lindsay, who is nodding her head and smiling. "He had just turned one. After that, he just kept talking..." she begins to laugh, "he rarely ever stops!"

Lindsay laughs as well, agreeing. "Gus can talk your ear off!"

"I wonder where he gets that from?" Brian asks to no one in particular.

Lindsay turns her attention back to Justin, "You should call the county to have your brother evaluated."

"I think his parent has to do that," Melanie counters.

Justin nods his head, still smiling politely, "Craig called them and someone is seeing him on Monday."

"Oh that's great," Lindsay gushes, sitting down at the table, "Someone in Gus' day care last year had a language delay and his mother called the county... you wouldn't believe how quickly everyone started to see progress."

Melanie sits down beside Lindsay, "Yeah, Justin, soon you'll be telling your little brother to shut up already!" She laughs and Lindsay joins her.

Justin stares at them both. He would love to one day have that feeling. But he was pretty sure that the results from calling the county wouldn't be overnight. In fact, he was sure it wouldn't be days or weeks, but hopefully months. Maybe a year. If Kai ever talked at all. He knew some children on the spectrum never spoke. Some signed. Some talked using pictures, other with talk-devices...Turning back to Kai, he wonders what the future had in store for him.

Gus pulls him out of his thoughts as he hands him am envelope, "Here you go, Sir!" he says in a huffy voice.

Justin forces himself to smile, but looking back at Kai, who is still flipping the envelope over in his hands, the blond suddenly feels like crying. Why was it so easy for Gus, but not for Kai?

Brian takes the envelope out of Justin's hand, "Why thank you, Mr. Mail Carrier."

Gus salutes and marches away.

Lindsay laughs, "Who knew our mailman was a soldier?"

Melanie looks over at Gus and Kai, and asks, "What's Kai supposed to be?"

Gus takes the envelope from Kai's hand and switches it with another one, "He's the stamper!" the three year old explains as if it's obvious. Kai flips the envelope in his hand as Gus smiles, "Good job, Kai, put stamps all over it!"

Justin feels as if his heart may explode.

"They play so nicely," Lindsay comments and then turns back to Justin, "Are you taking Kai to the Easter egg hunt at the Gay & Lesbian Center?"

Surprised, Justin looks over at their expected faces. "Um, I didn't know they were hosting one..."

Mel nods, "Of course not, look who you are dating."

Lindsay laughs, playfully nudging Mel's arm. "We took Gus to their Purim party last week. It was so much fun, all the kids had a great time!"

Justin turns back to Kai, who is now flipping another envelope in his hand while Gus marches around the mailbox. "Um, maybe, I don't know..."

"It's in two weeks, so you have time to think about it. I mean, I don't know, I guess you'll have to ask Craig, right?" Lindsay is thoughtful for a moment.

Justin frowns, "Craig could care less as long as he doesn't have to deal with Kai."

The women are shocked, "That's terrible!" Lindsay says, touching her heart. "What kind of father would---"

"The kind who disowns his first born for being gay," Brian reminds her as he pours himself another glass of juice.

"Well it's a good thing Kai has you," Mel comments, lifting up her glass as if toasting him.

Justin looks back over at Gus and Kai, wondering if anyone else in the room can see how blatantly different the two children were. He kept reminding himself that Kai was two and Gus was three... but it didn't matter. They played so differently, it was obvious.

Lindsay laughs, "Kai is really taking his job seriously!"

Forcing a smile, Justin looks away and sips on his juice.

"Gus, come on, Honey, eat something!" Mel calls out.

Gus runs over and joins them, eating and talking the entire time. Justin tunes everyone out, and he is grateful that Brian, though is apparently tired, is talking for the both of them.

After what feels like hours, but is probably only twenty minutes, Lindsay, Mel and Gus decide it's time to leave and start saying their goodbyes.

"Good bye, Kai!" Lindsay calls out.

Justin picks Kai up in his arms, knowing that the two year old wants to return to the window. "Say bye, Kai," he says with a forced smile, taking Kai's hand and waving it for him.

Kai ignores his brother and tries to climb out of Justin's arms.

Mel laughs, "The joys of being  two!"

Lindsay nods her head, "They just want things there way, right?"

Justin nods, feeling as if his jaw might crack from the tension.

Once the doors close, he lets Kai down, who immediately runs back to the window. Justin sighs, looking down at the floor.

After a few moments, Brian states, "You didn't tell them."

"Of course not," Justin snaps, looking up and turning to his brother, "He's a child, not a label." Walking to the window, he continues, "If they ask, I'll answer. But I'm not going to start writing "AUTISM" on his forehead for everyone to see. He's a kid. He's... he's Kai." Sitting down on the floor, he rests his head against the window frame.

Kai turns to Justin and starts to sway, smiling, but looking at his brother for a few seconds before shifting his gaze to the side.

Justin sighs, "Yeah, I know."

Kai begins to babble, and soon it sounds like a song.

"I think he wants you to sing him something," Brian comments as he leaves the table and goes to the sofa.

"What do you want, Kai?" Justin asks, he watches his brother sway and babble, but he can't figure it out. Closing his eyes, he focuses on the sounds, trying to decipher something, anything.

"Sounds like Itsy Bitsy Spider," Brian says suddenly, and Justin opens his eyes in surprise.

"Shit, I think you're right." Justin states. "Kai, want Spider?" Justin quickly moves his fingers as if it's a spider going up a water spout.

Kai stops babbling and grins for a second before babbling again. Justin tries to keep up, "Down came the rain and washed the spider out...out came the sun and dried up all the rain, and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again!" Justin claps his hands and Kai flaps.

"More?" Justin asks, signing the word.

Kai runs off, circling the couch. Brian grabs him, plopping the toddler down beside him. "Where are you going?" The brunette asks with a half-smile.

Kai kicks his feet and starts to flap his hand as he starts laughing, which makes Brian and Justin laugh too.

"Come here," Brian extends his hand and Justin stands up and takes it, suddenly feeling foolish for ever feeling depressed moments ago. Sitting down next to his lover, he rests his head on Brian's shoulder, watching Kai as the toddler crawls to the other side of the sofa and begins to examine the arm rest.

"He's a great kid, Justin." Brian whispers, kissing Justin's head.

Justin nods, "I know." He watches Kai climb off the sofa and peek out from under the arm rest at them.

Justin laughs, "Peek a boo!" Kai grins and looks above the arm rest before squating back down to look underneath it. Sighing, Justin continues, "I know he's a great kid... but what if others don't see that?"

"Fuck them." Brian brushes Justin's hair back. "They're just ignorant fucks who don't know shit."

"He doesn't play like Gus," Justin points out, fear washing over him as he wonders if other children will tease his brother when he goes to preschool.

"He isn't Gus," Brian points out. "He's Kai."

Justin nods. "I just... I don't...want for anyone to hurt him." He sighs, knowing that Brian will wait for him to finish, "I know I can't be with him forever... and I know that there will be times that I can't be there... but for now. Right now... I just want...." He stops himself, feeling the lump beginning to form in his throat.

"I think he knows you're on his side, Sunshine," Brian points out as they both watch Kai watching them. Kai smiles and starts to sway again.

"I'll always be on his side."

Kai lifts his arms up to the sky,"Puh!"

"The itsy bitsy spider....." the two men begin in unison, and Justin holds his partner just a little tighter.

 

 

 

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