"The itsy bitsy spider..." Justin sang softly, moving his fingers along the imaginary web. Kai sits in front of him, mesmorized by his brother's moving fingers. This was the twelveth time Justin sang the song, so he was no longer listening to his own voice... he could sing it without thinking. Instead, his mind was elsewhere.

Kai was so different from Gus, and from what he remembered Molly to be like as a toddler... different from her as well. Could it really be only speech? Something was knawing at his gut, and he hated that feeling.

"and the itsy bitsy spider, went up the spout again." Justin puts his hands down and waits for Kai to look at him. Several long seconds later, Kai makes eye contact, his mouth open in anticipation.

Justin smiles and signs, "More?"

Taking his brother's hands, Kai tries to move Justin's fingers to start the song again. They're sitting in front of the fire place at the corner of the living room. Toys are scattered all over the floor because Justin felt that a house with a child in it should look like a house with a child in it. Granted, Kai barely acknowledged the toys without a lot of encouragment from his brother, but they were on the floor and Justin had no plans of moving them to Kai's room.

"uh," Kai says softly, still trying to manipulate Justin's fingers.

"Itsy?" Justin asks, hoping that that was the word Kai was trying to say. "Isty Bitsy..." he pauses and waits.

Waiting has always been hard, but Justin knew that when it came to Kai, like most things, being patient was worth it in the end.

Kai continues to play with Justin's fingers while the older blond counts in his head to five before repeating, "Itsy Bitsy...."

"Puh" Kai finally says, so softly that Justin isn't sure that he heard it until Kai says it a second time, "Puh"

Grinning, Justin nods, "Spider!" and begins the song again, this time focusing on each word and paying close attention to Kai's expressions. He can hear the garage door opening as the song ends, and Justin's heart falls.

Kai turns to the noise and walks over to the kitchen, past the counter and towards the laundry room that meets the garage. Tilting his head to one side, he sways his body from left to right.

"Your daddy is home," Justin explains softly, trying to keep his voice light. He watches the door knob turn and then the door opening.

Craig walks inside, "I'm back," he greets, looking at both Justin and Kai.

"I can see that," Justin replies, wondering why Craig wasn't running to his toddler son and hugging him. It seemed like the natural thing to do. Looking down at his brother, he is about to say something when he realizes that Kai has walked away.

Craig walks past Justin, "Any problems?" he walks through the living room and heads up the stairs.

Justin follows, "Kai was great," he begins, "He's a great kid." He stops at the doorway to Craig's room, watching his estranged father empty his suitcase.

Craig makes a noise of acknowldgement and walks over to the closet.

There was no way around it, Justin had to speak his mind. But where to even start? "I put up some copies of sign language in Kai's room and the kitchen... I've been using signs with him."

Craig returns to the suitcase on the bed and asks without looking at Justin, "Is it signing?"

"Um, no.." Justin looks down at his feet, wishing he could lie and say 'yes,' but what good would that do? "Not yet... but if you continue, and maybe the day care uses it too..." he clears his throat when Craig walks back to the closet. "Maybe he'll catch on quicker."

"He's not deaf, Justin," Craig comments, turning to his dresser to put the rest of his clothing away.

"Baby signs is all the rage," Justin tries with a shrug, perhaps by making it fashionable, it wouldn't be so hard to accept and use?

Craig looks up, finally, and frowns, "All the rage?" he turns his attention back to his clothing.

For a moment, Justin feels embarrased, but it quickly turns to anger. "He needs to communicate his wants without screaming." He takes a step forward, the tension suffocating him as the room feels ten times colder now that Craig is home. "He's not talking, but he's trying to," he explains. "He says stuff... he said ooo ooo and he meant he wanted his train... and today he said Puh for spider..."

"How do you know that?" Craig questions, looking at his estranged son in the eye for the first time since his arrival.

Swallowing hard, Justin stands his ground, "I just do."

Craig looks away and shakes his head, "He's just lazy."

"He isn't lazy," Justin counters as he feels the heat of his body rising a few degrees. "He needs to learn how to talk and he needs to learn how to understand language. He has no clue what is going on in his world."

"In HIS world," Craig repeats as he shuts his now empty suitcase.

"The county has an intervention program, it's called Alliance. You have to call them, Craig. They can help Kai!" Justin tries to reason. He couldn't understand why Craig was being so unreasonable. "Does his doctor know that he isn't talking? I was looking online and one site recommended a developmental pediatrician. Has Kai seen one of them?"

Craig sighs loudly, "Justin, I appreciate--"

"Has he seen one?!" Justin repeats louder.

The room becomes quiet suddenly and Justin refuses to look away from the man he once called 'Dad.'

"Yes." Craig answers, his face void of expression.

"Yes?" Justin asks, waiting for more but not receiving any signal. "What happened?"

Clearing his throat, Craig looks away for a moment, "Autism." Looking back at Justin, he says again, "Your brother has autism."

Again the room is silent, the only sound is the hum of a car passing outside. Slowly, Justin asks, his voice low, "Autism?"

Craig nods, picking up his suitcase and walking over to the closet, "One hour with Kai and the doctor says it's autism."

"But..." Justin's mind starts to spin. He didn't know a lot about autism except from what he saw on television... the only example he could think of was Rain Man. It didn't make sense. That wasn't Kai. "Autism?"

Craig puts the suitcase away and walks out of the closet, closing the door. He turns and looks at Justin, his face tired.

Justin looks away. He doesn't know where to look. It hurt to look. Autism What did that even mean?

"Where's Kai's mom?"

"Christina left the day he was diagnosed." Craig answers, his voice thick and scratchy.

Shaking his head, Justin wishes there was a chair behind him so he can sit down, "I don't understand..."

"I didn't want another child, Justin," Craig begins, walking over to the mirror and undoing his tie. I met Christina at a conference. She was young, new to the business field... ambitious, ready to conquer the world... a breath of fresh air."

Justin swallows hard, feeling as if he shouldn't be hearing this story, but needing to hear it nonetheless. He looks down at the floor and leans against the wall, letting his body slide down to the floor so he can be more comfortable.

"We had fun together," Craig continues with a wave of his hand, "It was exciting... different from what my life had become."

Wife, two kids, suburban home life...was that so bad? Justin thought to himself.

"She didn't want any children. We were just having fun... and then one day she realized she was pregnant." He sighs, glancing over at the window as he sets his jacket down. "I tried to convince myself that this was what I wanted: a new life. I tried to convince myself and her... I thought that maybe I could just start over... things were tense at home. You were at... what's her name..."

"Deb," Justin offers, bringing his knees to his chest as he rests his cheek against his knee.

"Right. Jennifer was angry... constantly angry. I thought it would just be for the best. I packed my bags, told your mother about Christina, and left."

Closing his eyes, Justin remembers the guilt and pain he felt when his mother told him about the divorce. He blamed himself. But now he knew the truth... but it didn't make him feel any better.

"I bought this house and told myself that I was happy. Christina moved in with me... and suddenly," shaking his head, he acknowledges, "I felt like I was suffocating. And then Kai was born. He cried constantly. It drove me crazy. You never cried like that when you were a baby. You were always a happy child. Molly was always happy too. But every day I came home from work, Kai would be crying."

Justin nods his head, imagining how hard that would be to come home and watch Kai have tantrums after tantrums.

"Christina was resentful. She kept wanting me to watch Kai for a few hours, but I couldn't do it... he was always upset about something. I couldn't stand him."

He couldn't stand him.

"Christina kept telling me that something was wrong. She said he was different. I didn't believe her. I told her it was her fault." He smiles sadly, knowing now the truth, "I pushed and I pushed and I blamed her for everything wrong with him. And finally she made me go with her to this Dr. Coplan... one hour later he tells us that Kai has autism." He laughs bitterly, "In one hour he destroys everything."

The room is silent again for a few moments and Justin knows that there isn't a word in the world to make this right.

"We went home, Christina packed her bags and left to Toronto to be with her sister." He sits down on the bed and exhales loudly, "She called me that night and told me that we were through, that she wasn't coming back... that it was my turn to deal with Kai... and then she hung up."

Justin's head snaps up quickly in shock. "She hung up? Just like that? You haven't seen or spoken to her since then?"

He shakes his head, "I called her sister's house about a week ago. She told me that Christina had met something else and they were moving to Novia Scotia together."

Justin turns his head towards the direction of Kai's room. This wasn't right. This wasn't fair. "So what now?"

He shrugs, "Nothing. Life goes on."

Standing up quickly, Justin demands, "What the fuck does that mean?!"

"Justin!" Craig argues, shocked at Justin's language.

"Kai is your son, Craig! You can't just dismiss him because he has autism." Justin argues.

Craig shakes his head, "You don't understand, Justin, it's not... he's not..."

"Not your ideal child?" Justin asks bitterly. "So let's see, your firstborn is gay, so you disown him... your youngest son has autism, so you're going to disown him too? I guess the pressure is on for Molly, huh? Unless you already pushed her under the bus too... lemme guess, her eyes aren't blue enough for you?!"

Craig raises his hand to strike, but stops himself as quickly as his movements started.

Justin never even flinched, his chin defiantly up, "You are not giving up on Kai. He was your son before being diagnosed, and he is still your son."

Craig throws his arms up in frustration and anger, "I never even wanted him!"

"Well it's time to fuckin' grow up!" Justin screams, and he didn't care that he stomped his foot as well. "You are going to call the Alliance and ask them what services they can offer Kai. AND, I am going to stop by Kai's day care tomorrow to give them copies of the words I want them to practice signing with him."

Craig doesn't answer and instead looks away.

"Craig!" Justin demands, taking a step closer.

"He's two years old, Justin! What could they do?!"

"A lot." Justin narrows his eyes. "Early intervention is what works, and the earlier they can get in, the better the outcome."

Craig is silent again, his back to his estranged son.

Swallowing hard, Justin takes a deep breath. "I left their number on the fridge. You're going to call them, right?"

Silence.

"Right?"

Craig nods his head and walks over to the bathroom, "I'm going to take a shower. You can say goodbye to Kai. Here's the money for babysitting." He drops an envelope on the bed, and goes to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Justin stares at the envelope for a moment and wills himself not to shred it into a million pieces only because he needs to money to buy new art supplies after letting Kai use his paint yesterday. Picking up the envelope, he stuffs it into his pocket and slowly walks back down the stairs.

Kai is lying on his back in the living room, staring at the ceiling fan.

"Hey, Kai," Justin calls out, sitting on the floor next to him. "I have to go now."

Kai hums softly to himself and Justin recognizes the tune. Smiling, he whispers along, "The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout...down came the rain and washed the spider out... up went the sun and dried up all the rain... and the itsy bisty spider whent up the spout again." He sighs, looking down at Kai who is smiling, but not looking at him.

Leaning down, Justin kisses his brother on the forehead and whispers, "I'm not giving up on you."