Why Not With Me?

Chapter Fifty-Eight: Loving You

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If the sun refused to shine, 

I would still be loving you.

If the mountains should crumble to the sea, 

There would still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, 

Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain,

 tears of loves lost in the days gone by.

But my love is strong, 

With you there is no wrong,

Together we shall go until we die, oh my my…

Inspiration's what you are to me, 

inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles,

Your hand in mine, we walk the miles.

Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.

Happiness, no more be sad, happiness....I'm glad.

If the sun refused to shine, 

I would still be loving you.

If the mountains should crumble to the sea, 

There would still be you and me. 

- Thank You, from Led Zeppelin

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---------Justin’s Point of View---------

On the way back from Dr. Stevenson’s, Brian calls Lindsay and asks to pick up Gus. Twenty minutes later, Gus is sitting proudly next to his father and across from me at the diner. 

“Why did you pick me up for ice cream tonight, Daddy?” Gus asks, looking over his menu at Brian.  Brian reaches over and gently pulls down Gus’s menu, meeting his eyes. 

“Because I love you and wanted to spend time with you,” he says quietly.  Gus grins at him and wiggles in his seat. 

“I love spending time with you, too, Daddy. And you too, Justin,” he says, turning his happy gaze to me. Looking at him next to Brian -- seeing their identical grin and the wide eyes. Both terribly happy just to be sitting there with each other. 

“I love it too,” I say, setting down my own menu. 

“I’m going to order for us,” Gus says. “You like the vanilla ice cream, right, Daddy? And what do you want, Justin? Strawberry?”

He startles me a little more every time I see him with how much he has grown.

“That’d be great Gus.” He nods happily and Brian puts his arm around him.  A few minutes later, Gus orders for us, perfectly. It takes only a minute before the ice cream arrives and we all eat together in comfortable silence. 

“I’m lucky to have you two,” Brian says thoughtfully, sneaking some of my ice cream. Gus laughs at that and copies him, grabbing a spoonful of his own. They go back and forth, laughing and taking my ice cream until we’re all laughing and my ice cream is gone. 

“We’re lucky too, Daddy,” Gus says, and  Brian kisses the top of his head. 

------------Brian’s Point of View------------

About an hour after we get home,  I look over and see Justin in the Chair. I go to him and he pulls me into his arms. 

“Beautiful?” he says once I am snuggled into the warm enclave of his arms. 

“Yeah, Sunshine?” I purr rather contentedly. Justin shifts a little so his mouth is right next to my ear.  Then he whispers to me. 

“What we have now…what you’ve given us. And me…” He pauses, his voice wavering a little, “you know that’s… Everything I need… and it’s giving me the chance to become the very best person I could ever be.” 

He finishes, pressing his lips to my temple gently. I can hear my heart beating as Justin relaxes himself against me. I feel his words, his emotion, expanding inside of me… my heart beats faster… Knowing that this is as much, and as good, for Justin as it is for me is like a miracle. Being the one who gives it to him… there are not words. 

-----Justin’s Point of View-----------

Brian holds me for a few moments, smoothing my hair against his cheek.  Then he sits up a little bit, his arms holding me tight against him. 

“I always wanted to be enough for you… To give you everything you needed,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. 

We lay there holding each other for several long moments, our hearts beating in tandem.  

“I never knew I could have all this,” he says softly. “That I could love so much… That I could be loved so much.”  

A couple of tears fall down my cheeks at his words and he kisses them away. Then he looks at me, his eyes glimmering.

“I’m so proud of you,” I manage to say. He presses his forehead to mine and we are quiet for a little while. 

Then, a  faint blush is rising to his face and his smile is shy.

“Would you tie me up tonight, Sunshine?” 

He actually asked… asked for it. Knew he needed it.  Knew I would give it. That I wanted to. That he deserved it. 

My heart soared.

----------Brian’s Point of View---------

Justin brushes his hand through my hair. His eyes are practically glowing with pride in me, and that feels good. He gets up and takes my hand.  I stand up and he murmurs into my ear. 

“Go get ready, and meet me here in ten minutes.” I nod and  feel so much better, knowing that he knows and he’s taking care of it. Of me. 

------------Justin’s Point of View-------------

 I secured the handcuffs to the bedposts and positioned the pillows. I pulled out the supplies and the best lube. By the time Brian  comes in, the lights are turned down just slightly. 

“Kneel,” I say and immediately he goes to the bed. I help him to sit so that he is on his knees in the middle of the bed as he leans forward on his arms, his hands attached by chains to the bedposts. 

I take a moment to ensure his comfort. His head is down, resting on some pillows between his arms. 

“Raise your head for a moment,” I instruct and then, when he does, looking up at me, radiating calm. I tie the scarf over his eyes. He takes a deep breath and settles back into his position. I secure his ankles. 

I sit next to him on the bed, near his head. I stroke his hair and he smiles at me. 

“I am going to sit here with you and not touch you,” I say firmly, “and what I want is for you to wait, just like that. I am going to be here, watching you. Think about me here, and when you need me, you are to tell me.”

I watch him, and I think he was holding his breath through my directions, because he lets it out suddenly when I stop. I know it’s going to be hard for him to say the words, but I want to feel that link between us, how I am here for him. And so we can communicate that directly, like he did tonight, but even at this delicate point. 

“I understand, Sunshine,” he replies. 

And then there is silence. 

-----------Brian’s Point of View--------------------

Justin is next to me; I feel his weight on the bed. I can hear his steady breathing. He is not touching me, but he is there. 

I do as he said. I focus on him. I can feel his presence with me as strongly now as I can when he is inside me. 

At first it is not hard to wait this way. Kneeling is new, but it is not uncomfortable. I notice that our breathing is together again; he’s matched his to mine.  The togetherness of the moment is palpable.

“You are doing so well, Beautiful,” I hear him say.

After a little more than five minutes, I begin to feel a little emptiness inside. I still feel Justin everywhere, and I know that he is with me, but there is this space. 

“I‘m with you,” I hear him say. 

Five minutes after that and I think I might be breathing faster. I want Justin closer.  Yes, he is with me, but it is not enough. I want more….

“I’m right here when you need me.”

Another five minutes pass and I feel like a sort of island that is really close to land, but nothing really reaches me…I want something more. I need someone; I need Justin.  

“I need you.” 

--------Justin’s Point of View--------------

The moment he says it, I touch him.  I straddle him immediately, my hands reaching to run across his chest. I lower my head to kiss and suck at the crook of his neck. 

 He moans and his body goes weak under me. 

I keep touching this way, covering his body with strokes and kisses for several long minutes.  He feels so good under me, the way he arches into my touch. The way he always presses closer. 

Gradually I slide down behind him and part his thighs as wide as they will go, his creamy golden ass waiting for me. The sound from his throat is half whimper, half sigh and he shifts his hips back to me. 

I breathe in deep. My tongue slides along the globes of his ass and I flatten it against his crack, sending a visible shiver through his body. 

-----------Brian’s Point of View----------

I am quivering on my knees, wet and open and very nearly begging for him.  The sensations, the attentions, that he is lavishing on my hole have me ready to collapse, ready to scream -- ready to do something. To have more of him. 

He slides two fingers inside and I open so easily for him. I think I even thrust my ass further into the air, feeling my arms ache slightly from the increased pressure. I groan a little and he pushes in a third finger, wet with lube.

-----Justin’s Point of View-------

Brian is trembling. I climb off of him and help him to turn around. I am welcomed by the sight of his gorgeous, throbbing erection, wet and so ready to release. His mouth is slightly open and his cheeks flushed. 

I adjust the pillows a little and he smiles thankfully at me.  Then I lean in again and kiss him, his tongue meeting mine. Hungrily tasting mine, letting me taste and nipple and lick while his cock pressed tight and leaking against me. 

I undo his blindfold. He squints a little at first, getting used to the light. Then he looks right into my eyes, full of love and intense with longing. We kiss again and he pushes his hips up a little. I am with him, sliding three fingers back in and scissoring them, hearing him curse and groan beneath me. 

I smile gently at him, so aroused and ready. He lays back before me, puts his hands on the backs of his legs and pulls them up. I groan and slide closer to him, letting him rest his legs on my shoulders.

Our eyes meet again and he is so open, so receptive, so completely ready to take what I give.   I quickly put a condom on myself while his breathing slows a bit. 

------Brian’s Point of View--------------

I feel him at my hole. I look into his eyes. I feel his breath on me, warm and sweet like his ice cream. I match my breathing with his. 

He enters me, he fills me, he completes me…  My eyes are wet and I’m looking through the wetness at him, his face contorted with pleasure,  with need, his eyes on me. His lips skimming along my skin, sometimes licking, sometimes kissing. His hand on my cock, wet, slippery, tight and pulling… His cock touching me, tantalizing me, captivating me, lifting me higher and higher…. 

-----Justin’s Point of View-------------------

He feels so amazing -- there is no other word. And his body, his heart, god it’s all mine, at my fingertips. And he is so happy, so content, so hot and -- ohhhh… 

We’re both close suddenly and then we come together in a cacophony of groans and sighs and gasps before I collapse on top of him. 

We’re both breathing hard, but I recover slightly faster. I leave for a moment, returning with a washcloth and water. I gently wash him and then myself while he snuggles deeper into the sheets. He takes some water and burrows deeper still. I quickly replace everything and crawl in next to him. 

He pulls my arms around him and then wraps his arms around mine.  I feel our hearts finally stop racing.  Brian takes a deep breath as I pull the duvet up around us. Then I hear him whisper.

“This has been hard.” 

I took a deep, sharp breath in.  I found myself blinking so fast and my stomach was suddenly in a twist.  

I know what he means… His submission. The journey. His triumph.

 Brian looked up at me, his eyes wide and pure. 

I looked into Brian’s eyes. There was a little worry  and hope there. But more than anything there was trust.  I ran my fingertip softly along his lips.

----------Brian’s Point of View---------

“I know it has, Beautiful,” he assures me. His fingertip run along my cheekbones.  His eyes never strayed from mine.  I kissed him, lingering to feel his breath in my mouth. Our breathing is slow and steady together.

My eyes rest on the Believe painting, hanging across from the bed. 

“It’s been worth it,” I say, drifting off to sleep in Justin’s arms.