Why Not With Me?

Chapter Eighteen: Favorite Places

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“I’ve been waiting so long

To be where I’m going

In the sunshine of your love.

I’m with you my love,

The light’s shining through on you…

I’m with you my love.

It’s the morning and just we two.

I’ll stay with you darling, now

I'll stay with you til my seas are dried up...”

- From Sunshine of Your Love, by Cream

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---------------Justin’s Point of View -------------

I was excited to see Gus in the morning; even more than that I’m looking forward to seeing Brian with Gus. He doesn’t see himself at those moments -- those moments where he takes his best self into the public eye. 

That morning was no different. Gus ran to the car, bolting out of the front door the moment Lindsey opened it. Brian went out to greet him; pulled him up into the air and spun him around a few times, until Gus was laughing. 

I caught Lindsey’s eye and winked. She smiled back. 

Then Brian opened my door and slid Gus into the passenger’s seat with me. 

Gus was breathless in his excitement to see me; I couldn’t help but wish that his mouth wasn’t quite so close to my ear. 

“Oh, Justin!! I didn’t know you were coming to breakfast too,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. 

I hug him back and ruffle his hair. It’s just barely softer than Brian’s and only a shade or two lighter.

“Of course I am. I’ve missed you.”

“I miss you too…and Daddy misses you,” Gus adds, letting his body fall back against mine while I buckled the seat belt around us both. 

I glance at Brian, who is pretending not to hear this conversation from the driver’s seat 8 inches away.

“What makes you think that?” I ask. 

Gus thinks for a long moment, looking thoughtfully at his father.

“Well…I love you and I missed you, Justin. Daddy loves you, so I know he must miss you too.”

Brian seems to be gritting his teeth. 

“Well, I love you both and I missed you both,” I say, winking at Brian. 

“Can I order for us today, Daddy?” Gus asks as we near the diner. 

“Sure; I’m sure Justin wants to see you order anyway,” he says as we pull in. 

------------------------

“At school, there’s this girl, Lizzie. She’s really nice and pretty,” Gus announces between sips of his orange juice. 

“What kind of things does she like?” I ask.

“Oh, lots of things. We both like Superman, and she likes Barbie, but I guess that’s okay. She has Power Puff Girls backpack. She’s so funny, too, Daddy,” he says, excitement in his voice.

Brian raises his eyebrows and gives me a little look. I smirk back at him.

“Really? What does she do that’s so funny?” he asks, taking the bait.  

“At lunchtime, she pours half her chocolate milk into my white milk, whenever I’m not looking,” Gus says, his body shaking with laughter, “and then I drink it and I’m like, “Chocolate milk! How did that get there?”” 

Brian’s laughing too, his quiet chuckle making me grin. 

“Sounds like a nice girl,” I say, looking at the two of them before me. Same gorgeous smile, same deep-set, stunning eyes. 

“She is…I think maybe she’s my girlfriend.”

Brian is choking on his coffee.

“You alright, Brian?” I ask, tongue in cheek, suppressing my laugher.

“I’m…fine,” he says, clearing his throat, his eyes watering a little. 

“But I’m not really sure,” Gus continues earnestly, “because I don’t know what we’d be doing if she was my girlfriend.”

“Justin, I believe this is your specialty,” Brian says, his eyes teasing me.

Gus turns to me expectantly. 

“Well… first of all, I think you’re a little young for this,” I say out of precaution. 

“I was right. This is your specialty,” Brian mutters under his breath and I have to shoot him a Look.

“But anyway. It means that you want to spend your time with her… That she is a special girl to you, compared to the other girls, and she feels the same way about you.”

Gus nods seriously. 

“But how would I know that?” 

I look at Brian and raise my eyebrows.

“Well…you could ask her. Talk to her. See how it turns out,” he suggests. “Sometimes people get sort of…embarrassed though, or shy. But I’m sure you’ll still be friends.”

I smile.

“And if she does get shy, don’t be too mad at her. She can’t really help it,” I add and Brian smiles back at me.

“Oh. I’ll try that. Then maybe we could go on the swings together at lunch recess,” Gus decides. 

“Good idea,” Brian says. 

---------------------Brian’s Point of View -----------------

“Isn’t he a little young for romance?” I ask as we pull away from Lindsey’s house.  He grin. 

“Guess he takes after his father,”   Justin asks me with a big grin.

“You’re sure you wouldn’t feel better if he liked someone named John instead of Lizzie?”

I frown. 

“I wouldn’t care.”

Justin doesn’t say anything. 

“Huh.” 

We drive in silence for a minute. 

I sigh. “I think he’s starting too young.”

Justin looks closer at me and brings his hand to rest on my knee.

“He’ll be okay,” he says reassuringly. I nod and flip on the radio. I’m sure he’s right. 

“After all,” Justin concluded, “you gave him good advice.”  I smile. 

A minute later Justin’s fiddling with the radio, paying more attention to it than he usually does. 

“I have a little surprise for you,” he says. I look over with interest. 

“We’re going to go to New York. I’ve got the tickets; we can go get my stuff.”

---------------- Justin’s Point of View -----------

“Don’t worry. I’m going to make sure that this trip goes much better for you,” I say softly against his ear. “And no sleeping will be allowed.” 

Brian grins at me as I let my hand come to rest on his crotch. 

“You’re sure you want to do this, Sunshine?” he asks, shifting in his seat about twenty minutes into the flight. 

“Very. I want to be with you, Brian. You want to be with me. Now we’re going to be together.”

He nods, seeming content. I push away our arm rests and  scoot closer to him, so our legs are touching along our thighs, until his long legs pass mine. 

I kiss his temple and nuzzle against him. He kisses the top of my head and wraps his arm around me. 

“I know what would really make you forget,” I purr, tugging on his earlobe. He sighs and slides down farther in his chair. 

I cup his cock through his jeans and he catches my eye, looking lustily at me. 

“Let’s not move to the bathroom either,” I say and hear the breath catch in his throat. 

He’s so beautiful when he’s like this. Warm and buzzing, his body revving up, receptive and  ready eager, his eyes lidded and dark. 

A flight attendant walks by at that moment. 

“Could we please get a pillow…and a couple blankets? It’s sort of chilly in here,” I say and feel Brian  chuckle under his breath. 

“Certainly sir,” she said, bringing them almost immediately. Service is so good in first class. 

I put the blankets over us and Brian raised his head so I could slip the pillow under him.

He’s grinning at me, with this seductiveness that would make absolutely anyone alive want to have him at that moment. 

I start by kissing him, kissing and sucking on his jaw and neck while my hand unzipped his pants. 

“Do you ever wear underwear?” I ask jokingly, feeling his smooth cock quickly hardening in my hand.

“I wear them -- when you’re not here,” he murmurs, letting his head fall back against his pillows.

I reach into my front pocket and get the packet of lube that I always keep there. 

I covered my hands while I kept kissing him. 

“Guess we’ll have to get rid of them now,” I say, licking his lips until he opened his mouth. 

I let my hand come back to him, wet now, and warm. 

“Oh yeah,” he says softly.

“Shhh,” I say, teasing him by sliding my fingertips up and down him. 

“Ohhhh,” he moans quietly as I change the pressure from light to heavy and back again. 

“Can’t be quiet through a simple handjob, can you?” I smirk, watching his face as his arousal grew. 

“No,” he admits breathily as I tighten my hand around him. “No.”

His hips are pressing up against me while I pump him, feeling my hand spreading his pre cum around him. 

“Don’t stop,” he says before words escape him. 

I don’t. I just watch the expressions on his face, first the tightening of his features, the tensing in his muscles as he gets closer and closer -- then the instantaneous relief, relaxation, frozen on his features for the moments that he’s releasing and throbbing into my hand. 

I kiss him again and again, softly on the shoulder while he relaxes against his seat. 

“Much better flight,” he murmurs in his afterglow while I zip him back up. 

“That’s the idea,” I say, wiping my hand on the napkins from the pouch in front of my seat. 

I lean back in my seat and Brian leans over to kiss my cheek. 

“Good idea.”

-----------------------Brian’s Point of View ----------------------

We got to New York and I got to see his apartment for the first time.

He’d never let me see it before. I never quite knew why. I didn’t exactly think he was hiding someone in there, but I’d wondered about it more than once.

For a while I’d imagined that his place must’ve been such a shit hole that he didn’t want me to suffer the ugliness for even a moment.

But now I’ve seen it. It’s not bad; it’s near the NYU campus. Problem is, the place is beyond tiny. He has a hot plate. A bed. A sink. He tells me how lucky he is to have a private bathroom. He always was an optimist…he does have a 18 inch square shower, and a toilet, in what must have been a coat closet. 

He had a window; it looked out over a brick wall, next to 12th street. 

He had some stuff in an art closet / space that he had at NYU, but most of that stuff had been for the last show and was now gone. Truth be told, packing took us about 20 minutes.

The whole time I kept thinking…why haven’t I been here? I mean…sure it would be hard to hang out here, but why haven’t I ever seen this place, until now?

That night  I was letting him walk me from our hotel near Grand Central down to Madison Square Park. He won’t tell me why; he says it’s a surprise.  As we walk, I finally can’t take it anymore and ask him.

“Sunshine, why was today the first time I ever saw that shoebox of an apartment?”

He stops for just a moment; barely long enough to break his stride.

“Hmmm?’

He’s terrible at pretending he didn’t hear me.

“Why haven’t I seen that matchbox that you call home, until today?”

He smiles and slips his hand into mine. 

“Simple…” He takes a deep breath. “If I’d taken you there before…We would have made memories. Of something. Maybe sex, maybe just standing together, laughing about something, or your cracks about the apartment…” 

His voice trails off and I squeeze his hand. 

“And those memories would be in my head, every time I was in that room. Your voice would be there. Your touch would be there. Your smell would be there. And I just couldn’t take that.” 

I stop there on the sidewalk and pull him to me.

“You’ll never have to, Sunshine. We’re together now,” I say and kiss him. He kisses me back, mouth so warm against mine in the cool, autumn night air. 

“Actually,” he continues, “this weekend I’m going to take you to all my favorite places. That I could never take you before…” 

It’s amazing how good it makes me feel that he feels like this.

---------------Justin’s Point of View----------------

Madison Square Park looks so beautiful by moonlight. I’ve been wanting to show him this for a year. The fountains, the trees, the winding paths. The park benches with such a wide variety of people. Couples on dates, a few homeless people buckled down for the night, a couple older people playing chess under a streetlight. Empty playgrounds, wet from rain earlier in the day.  The tall buildings, lit up in every window around the park.

“It’s beautiful,” Brian says softly, turning all the way around for a good view. I grin.

“There’s more to the surprise,” I say, pulling him over to one of my favorite restaurants, Shake Shack, “you’re going to have custard, too,” I tell him as he starts looking over the menu. 

He nods in agreement.

While we’re waiting in line, I pull out my phone and get ready.

“Hey Brian, do you see that camera up there?” I ask, pointing up to the roof of the building. 

“Sure, what’s that for?” 

“They broadcast live pictures of how long their line is to their website. I thought we’d call and get Gus on the phone. Lindsey has the website all ready,” I say, suddenly feeling a little silly.

I should have known that when it comes to Gus, Brian has other rules for his behavior.  He grins happily.

“Really? Let’s try it.”  

I get out my phone and dial Lindsey. 

“Hi Lindsey…yeah we’re here. Are you ready?… I’ll put Brian on.” 

--------------------Brian’s Point of View -------------------

“I can see you waving, Daddy!!! And Justin, I see Justin!!” He’s squealing and I can hear Mel muttering in the background. 

Meanwhile, Justin and I are waving like fools in the middle of the City.

I’m having a wonderful time. 

Then I hear this buzzing. Oh! Our food’s ready. I motion Justin to the counter so I can stay on the phone with Gus. 

“I miss you, Daddy,” Gus says, only slightly calmer.

“I miss you too, Gus.”  I’ve stopped waving my hands, but I’m looking right up at the camera.

“Are you coming back soon?”

“Me and Justin will be back soon,” I say. That sounds so much better. 

“Both of you? Goody, I was wishing for that.”

“Me too. ..Me too.” Neither of us says anything for a minute. I just stand their imagining that I can see Gus’s face. 

“Mommy says I need to go to bed,” Gus says. 

“Okay. Good night Gus, I love you.”

“I love you, Daddy.” 

------------------------------------ Justin’s Point of View ---------------

This has been a wonderful day. I love the City, but I only love it with him. The rest of the time I only like it.

Now it’s almost 3AM. We just got in from dancing at a club in the West Village. Brian and I put on quite a show in their backroom; I think he’s done a lot to make a name for himself that will last exponentially longer than our stay here. 

“This has been a wonderful day,” I say, drying myself off from a shower.  He nods his agreement, combing his hair. 

We get ready for bed in comfortable silence for a while.  He’s brushing his teeth and doing his obsessive mouthwash routine. I’m towel drying my hair. 

We go on this way in a comfortable silence for a while.

I put on some lotion and reach for his hands, to give him some. 

He pulls his hands back about two inches away. , leaning toward the mirror a little farther. 

“I’ve got a little headache,” he murmurs to himself. 

“I’ve got some aspirin in my bag,” I say, heading to the main room. 

“No, no. It’s okay, I’ve got it,” he says. I glance over and I see him searching through his stuff for aspirin. 

Normally I wouldn’t think anything of it. 

But ever since Dr. Spencer was talking about Brian never having anyone who took care of him…

Those words etched into my mind. Painted a portrait of his childhood. 

And on the plane, while Brian was going over the Armani Spring Collection Preview with a fine-toothed comb, I was trying to think of times when Brian let me do things for him. 

I mean, there’s the infamous “chicken soup” incident. And he did eat my jambalaya that time… Well, I’m sure there were other times. A couple other dinners I remember. 

It doesn’t add up to much. Divide it by 6 years and it’s downright… eye-opening. And that’s even when I count, “Let me help him eat ice cream” when I spoon-fed it to him naked and ate most of it myself…off of his body.

--------------------- Brian’s Point of View --------------

 Justin and I are settled in on the comfortable hotel bed. Almost as nice as my bed. 

Justin’s laying here, naked next to me. We’re resting for now. 

“I wanted to ask you something,” he says, stretching out and turning his body to look at me. 

“I’ll be ready in about a minute,” I say, smiling at him. 

“No,” he says, swatting at me. “Well, I mean, maybe.” Yeah, I thought so.  He can never resist me. 

“Seriously though… can we start that thing Dr. Stevenson was talking about? That…one hour thing?”

Oh. That. That thing he’d been so excited about….

He’d gotten that super-eye-glow-excitement thing…

“Yeah, okay. How about Monday?” I offer. And I get that same eye-glow thing. Good choice, Kinney.

“Great! What hour do you want to take care of me?”

That’s easy. I knew that immediately. 

“Six to seven in the morning,” I say instantly. He blinks at me, a tiny bit confused.

“Morning woody,” I explain, and instantly he flushes. 

“Okay.”

He’s so easy…

“And I’ll take six to seven at night,” he replies, with a big grin.

“When I get home?”

“Yup,” he says, giving me no explanations. Only an irresistible rub against the sheets.

I’m easy, too.