Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Reviews For Turning Points
Reviewer: cullengirl08 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2021 09:05 PM · On: Epilogue

I just finished reading this one again; I think it was better reading it the 2nd time around.   This was a great story!!

Reviewer: cullengirl08 (Signed) · Date: June 20, 2020 03:31 PM · On: Epilogue

This was a great story!!   I found it a few days ago and have been reading it ever since!!   I'm so glad that together, Brian and Justin were able to put the events of that horrible night behind them, move on and be better and closer to each other than before it happened!!   

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2019 12:49 PM · On: Epilogue

good one

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2019 02:43 PM · On: Epilogue

Ahh it ended :( I'm gonna miss this story so much. I got so attached to it. Brian and Justin deserve all the happiness in the world.

Thank you for your wonderful writing. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2019 09:03 PM · On: Tomorrow

They are perfect. And this was superb. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2019 07:35 AM · On: Limitless

So any huge steps in this chapter. Loved it. And the end was so hot. *o*

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2019 07:02 AM · On: Alone

That realy was a good save. I must admit. Smooth. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2019 03:41 PM · On: Risk

Woahhhh *o* I'm speechless. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2019 10:46 AM · On: Enough

That was wonderful. They are working together so good. And Brian is so different now. They both are. Your writing is amazing. It pulls me in so deep. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2019 01:03 AM · On: Over

Loved this chapter. So precious.

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2019 12:17 AM · On: Extraordinary

Justin is slowly healing <3 And their make out sessions are getting hotter and hotter. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 18, 2019 06:31 PM · On: Time

"It's only time." 

;~; feelings 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 16, 2019 06:35 PM · On: Reason

Justin finally getting help. And the last sentence is so precious <3 it warms my little heart. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2019 10:53 PM · On: Chance

This chapter made me cry so much. I needed to stop reading few times so I could stop crying. Loved it. It hurt me so much, but it was brilliant.

Brian saying "I love you" and reaching out... Justin open up about the horrors of that night....so painful <3 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2019 09:50 PM · On: Free

"I hated myself.

Useless and stupid and disgusting and weak. Pitiful and fucked up and emotional...a fucking slut who offered his body up to half a dozen guys in a swing. Filthy. Worthless.

I had no idea it was possible to hate someone so much.

I really wished I would have held on to that razor blade."

OH no. Oh my God :( *sobs*

This chapter was so cruel and sad. Justin drawing and remembering what they told him and what they did... It was terrifying. Horrible. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2019 07:11 AM · On: Memories

Loved this chapter. So powerful :( 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2019 04:48 PM · On: Poison

Finally the Trish is out. Brian wanting to KILL is what I need too. These bastards. Poor Justin :( Brian got him this time. I hope he won't allow Justin to keep running away. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2019 03:38 PM · On: Autopilot

Pleasantly surprised with Michael here. But Brian need it know. *sigh*

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2019 03:16 PM · On: Wrong

Oh :( Geez Brian should know the truth already! He need to know! This it too painful for both of them. Justin need help! 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2019 01:58 PM · On: Stained

Oh noo. This ripped me apart. Such raw emotions totally wrecked me. 

I want to stab Sap at the neck. And watch him bleed. And then doing that to everyone who hurt precious Justin. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2019 01:33 PM · On: Changes

Poor Justin :( I remember how scared I was for him during the whole "party scene".

Glad Daphne is there for him <3 

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2018 06:18 PM · On: Memories

Poor Brian, darn Justin, why wont he let Brian help him

Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2016 03:57 AM · On: Epilogue

I appreciate the way you handled the painful topic of rape. Your story was both sensitive and dramatic. I don't believe Justin would have made it if Brian and Daphne had not convinced him to seek help. Great job and thanks for posting.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2015 08:50 PM · On: Truth

omg I am so in love - Brian feels like he's failed him twice :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2015 07:07 PM · On: Autopilot

Thank goodness Michael knows, but I think he'll keep his secret to Justin, but this is going to break them up, Brian will only be able to cope so long without knowing wtf is up :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2015 06:52 PM · On: Wrong

MY HEART IS ACHING! Daphne needs to tell Brian, SOMETHING

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2015 06:52 PM · On: Wrong

MY HEART IS ACHING! Daphne needs to tell Brian, SOMETHING

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2015 06:34 PM · On: Abstract

Oh God, I hope Brian doesn't give up on him :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2015 06:16 PM · On: Real

Oh god, is he gonna try and hide it :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 13, 2015 12:02 AM · On: Stained

Oh god, poor Justin, I want to cuddle him so much. Brian needs to know, he wouldn't be mad at him, he'd be angry at Sap, but he'd not be mad at Justin - not now anyway. HE NEEDS HIM TO LOOK AFTER HIM.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2015 11:54 PM · On: Changes

Oh no, please tell me Daphne calls Brian. I know Justin doesn't want her too, but he'll help, no????????

Reviewer: Nickknack (Anonymous) · Date: June 01, 2015 12:13 AM · On: Epilogue

Wow this was compelling ready. I'm a late comer to QaF fanfiction having only seen the tv series late 2014, it never played in New Zealand until one of our cable channels picked it up. I was hooked immediately even all these years after the series finished. Now I read all the fandom forums and every so often there is a gem and this is definitely one of those. I am looking forward so much to reading more from you. Thank you for writing a great story

Reviewer: sarahyellow (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2014 07:51 PM · On: Stained

If Chris Hobbes was allowed to bash my brains in with a baseball bat, they sure as hell would not care if some disgusting faggot was raped at a party.--That's actually really the exact reasoning you'd expect someone like Justin to use.

Your writing of his internal dialog and how he's thinking/feeling are so perfect and painful. Hearing how he's dreading going back to Brian yet wants it, and all the various ways he imagins Brian will react, is amazing. You are such a good writer!

I also love the in-depth look you give to Brian's previous attempts to heal Justin, and how Justin ponders those times as he's considereing his next move. The shower scene, where he feels dirty and tries to scald himself and uses the violent scrubbie is so real-world, and painful to hear. "Daphne's bar of Dove was dangerously close to dissolving into nothing by the time I was finished"--I like that. Great alliteration, btw, lol.

And finally, it really does sound like Justin has a lot of physical injuries. i doubt he'll be able to hide them from Brian. I just wonder if he'll go and get tested for any... stds, becasue that seems like a risk.

Great chapter :)

Reviewer: sarahyellow (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2014 07:35 PM · On: Changes

I am both happy to have found this story, and disappointed. Happy because I love the plot idea and that you are such a good writer so the story actually reads great, and disappointed because it had just occured to me the other day, to try and write basically the same fic: a what if hurt/comfort piece about that night at the Sapp's party. SIGH. Oh well. kudos cause I really like it so far :)

Reviewer: Chloris01 (Signed) · Date: October 14, 2013 01:35 AM · On: Changes

Your story is simply brilliant.

Reviewer: crazy4tv (Signed) · Date: March 04, 2013 05:16 PM · On: Over

Oh Jesus Christ! I think chapter 27 is my second favorite chapter, for a lot of reasons, but mostly, it's a happy chapter. I could read this chapter over & over again.
My baby finally got some closure! :") He realized it's in his past and not currently physically hurting him. :") 
I know I had said before that the story had made me cry but it hadn't actually made me cry until right now.  ... So happy. 

Reviewer: crazy4tv (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2013 03:23 PM · On: Memories

Damn!!! Chapter 13 gets GRAPHIC!!!! 
I think chapter 13 is the worst chapter yet because you can just picture it and its just horrible
God Damnit Fucking Shit
My heart is broken!!! Shattered into a million little pieces!!! I am finally where they're at!!! That scene was just too real!!! 
I'm picturing that and it's making me cry 
I'm gonna be sick!!!!! 
Make it stop!!!!!!!! 
*Clutching my knees to my chin, rocking back & forth, CRYING* 
I'm not ok! I'm not ok! I'm not ok! I'm not ok! 
Why can't I read faster!? 
Jesus Christ!!!
Why am I picturing!? Why am I picturing!? Why am I picturing what I'm picturing!? Jesus Christ!!! 
I thought I had cried over this story before. Not even close! 
I can't.... I can't.... I can't continue. 
I am SO in character I'm squeezing my ring, trying to break it, out of frustration!!! 
I am literally hugging my bathtub right now, because... FUCK!!! 
Chapter 13 is like that episode that is SO PAINFUL that you LOVE it and HATE it at the same time! 
That it's like the BEST and the WORST at the same time! 
I seriously need a hug!!!!! 
I am seriously being taken over with feels!!!! 
God dammit!!!! 
Emotionally. Physically. Numb. 
Fuck you amazing author and your amazing writing!!!

Reviewer: Shauna (Anonymous) · Date: June 24, 2012 09:48 AM · On: Chance

This is seriously the best piece of fan fiction I have ever read. I literally cried and had to read some parts out loud. It must have been insanely hard to write. I know I bleed with my characters so I can only imagine how difficult it was. If there was a trophy to be handed out for fan fiction stories yours would take home the Oscar. I am so blown away I don't even know how to pay you the tribute you deserve. 

Reviewer: Mary (Signed) · Date: June 12, 2012 12:43 AM · On: Changes

Dear Britin/Strongatheart!

I've read this fic two times and both times it impressed me so deeply I hardly can find words to express my feelings for the story! it's one of the most emotional and psychologically hard thing I've ever read. I even had a depression during the first time of reading - that's how strongly Justin's codition affected me!

Oh and Brian..Don't misunderstand me, I love Brian. but I enjoy sseing him suffering for Justin and being so protective of him!

But at the same time it's so tender, so beautiful and so well-written! Not every good plot is accompanied with such turn of phrase!

Thank you very much for the best fanfiction I've ever read (And believe me, I've read much).

Reviewer: charlotte taylor (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2012 02:07 PM · On: Epilogue

I sat for almost 7hrs cos I had to do this from start to finish.All I can say is you have written a bloody wonderful story for them.Thank you so much.

Reviewer: Cheryl (Anonymous) · Date: March 28, 2012 12:02 AM · On: Epilogue

I'm not sure where I started reading this story, but I loved it.  It took me a while to finally get around to reading the entire story.  I did read some of the chapters as you posted them, but after a while I figured that I'd read it when it was finished, like I do with a lot of lenghty stories.  Anyhoo, I finished reading it last night on the kindle.  I think that many of the series viewers may have wondered 'what if' when Justin went to the Sap's party.  Rape is a terrible thing, but to survive and thrive afterwards is a true testiment to the human spirit.  I really liked how loving and tender Brian was with Justin in helping him overcome this life changing event.  I especially liked the Epilogue as you used it to tie everything together at the end.  Not many authors can do that.

I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Reviewer: Sasha (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2012 07:53 AM · On: Epilogue

I loved the story. Thanks!

Reviewer: TrinTiff (Signed) · Date: February 19, 2012 09:27 PM · On: Epilogue

I just spent thelast two days reading this who,e thing. It was brilliantly compelling to say the least! You did an outstanding job with a very difficult subject! :-)

Hugs, Cindy

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it :)

Reviewer: soul1essharpy (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2012 01:29 AM · On: Epilogue

An extrememely excellent story. You did an amazingly tactful job considering the VERY sensitive subject matter. Thank you so much for sharing this story.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Reviewer: Upsadaisymaisie (Anonymous) · Date: January 27, 2012 04:16 AM · On: Epilogue

I'm not actually giving a comment at this time because it's some time since I read the first thirty or so chapters of your story, but now I'm so excited to see that's it's finished that I'm off to start at Chapter 1 again and read the whole lot!  I'm so glad you finally finished 'Turning Point' as I remember it as one of the best stories I'd ever read.  Maybe you'll even take up writing some new B/J fiction for us avid readers.  I'm always wowed at the brilliance of the writing in fanfiction, because I couldn't string two words together.  Thank you so much.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story through the first 30 chapters, and I hope you enjoy it as much the second time through. :)

Reviewer: Sab123 (Signed) · Date: January 10, 2012 11:26 PM · On: Tomorrow

"And it was all fucking perfect."

Indeed, it is. What a fucking perfect end to this incredible story.

I am happy you have now written the last chapters, because it so much deserves to be a finished piece of work. The last chapters flow with exactly the beautiful timing and storytelling you accomplished rigth from the beginning.

Thank you very much for this outstanding story.

Author's Response:

Thank you!

I just couldn't not finish it. I'm glad you thought the final chapters worked, and that they weren't disconnected from the rest of the story because of the huge time gap in between posting them.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed the story! :)

Reviewer: bksbracelet (Signed) · Date: January 09, 2012 05:44 PM · On: Epilogue

Wow this was of the best fics I have ever read. It was so real and the angst and emotional unheavel was written beautiful thanks Chris

Author's Response:

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!!

Reviewer: Mariana (Anonymous) · Date: January 09, 2012 03:17 PM · On: Epilogue

WOW what a great surprise . At last the final chapters. I'm just sorry that I'm at work so I can't start reading right away. Please put the word YES on the status of this story. (complited: YES)

Thank you for writing this wonderful tale. I enjoy the ride.


Author's Response:

Thank you! I hope you enjoy it when you do read it. (Ahh, it's so great to finally see that word, "yes!" lol.)

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: January 09, 2012 03:12 PM · On: Epilogue

We were getting emails wondering what happened to you. Glad you finished this story. I went ahead and marked it "Completed" for you.

Now that this is finished, let me decorate your story panel a bit :) *grins*

BTW, Elsa has instructed me to cut back on awarding Blue Ribbon Featured status to stories not finished since it was on some stories over a year since an update - not good. Now that it's finished you have both well deserved awards: Featured Story and Best Fan Fiction Classic. Thank you so much for publishing and sharing your work on Whispers.

Author's Response:

Thank you!!!

And wow, thanks so much for the awards. :D I feel so honored!

Reviewer: Julie (Anonymous) · Date: January 09, 2012 09:54 AM · On: Changes

Great to see an update to this story.  Really well done!

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it :D

Reviewer: Upsadaisymaisie (Anonymous) · Date: April 13, 2011 06:02 PM · On: Limitless

I'm definitely still reading this wonderful story.  Have loved it from the very first chapter and soooo glad that you're updating.  Please keep up the good work and don't leave it unfinished.  I couldn't bear it...

Reviewer: Megan Rose (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2011 10:39 AM · On: Limitless

I just spent 3 hours reading this whole story and I love it! You potray Justin and Brian so well and totally IC! I love how they're slowly evolving, both in their relationship and Justin's healing.  Can't wait to see how the story ends!

Reviewer: elvenfixation (Anonymous) · Date: January 30, 2011 02:27 AM · On: Limitless

So sorry it took me this long to review, but I was so happy to see this story updated. It was beautiful as usual, and don't worry if you have to change your writing plans a bit, (I do it with my WIP all the time), and I'm sure no one will mind and extra chapter...

I have loved every chapter of this story over the last couple of years and will miss it when it's over... (Just one little thing though, in this one, in the part where they're in the diner talking about super heros...Superman's girlfriend is Lois Lane, not Louis... Lois is the feminine form of the name...) Thanks so much for updating, and I will look forward to the last couple of chapters...

Author's Response:

Yikes...I know I'm months late on this one. I'm so sorry. I've been extremely swamped with school, and my attempts to wrestle with this site in my meager spare time have been kind of frustrating, as I've been having lots of issues with it. Again, I'm so sorry it took so long, but I didn't want to ignore your kind review.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter (and thanks for not holding my changed plans against me!) :)  Also, thanks for the tip about Louis/Lois, I changed it :D

Thanks so much, and again, I'm incredibly sorry it took so very long.

Reviewer: Chloris01 (Signed) · Date: January 22, 2011 04:59 AM · On: Limitless

I'm still reading...I re-read the last chapters because all of them are simply amazing !


Author's Response:


Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: January 12, 2011 02:32 AM · On: Limitless

* raises and waves hand  * I'm still reading this beautiful story.
OMG Justin going into an adult entertainment store! He's so brave. I want to hug Justin so tightly and Brian too for supporting him.

* big hug *

This story is worth 10+

Author's Response:

*hugs back* Yay! I'm so glad you're still reading. Thanks so much!

Reviewer: sophie's mom (Anonymous) · Date: January 10, 2011 08:30 AM · On: Limitless

little by little his life is becoming his own again. all the walks help. going to the diner helps but going to the art store by himself was the biggest help of all. controling his panic, replacing bad thoughts and memories with good is an enormous improvement.

but what i think is the major sign that he's getting back to himself is all the guys sitting around the booth at the diner joking like they always did. ragging on poor brian. as long as justin laughed and smiled brian was okay with it.

buying the condoms, they're getting closer to that step.

i loved the feeling of freedom and lightness that was in this chapter. even with the nightmare, he overcame it.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Yes, little by little, Justin's getting himself back. It's such a joy to write, and I'm glad you're enjoying reading it :)

Thanks again for reading and commenting! :D


Reviewer: sfscarlet (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2010 08:58 AM · On: Reckless

great update-  as usual.  I love this story and I really like hhow you are making it very believable.  Slow and steady as Justin and Brian forge their relationship and Justin heals.

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying the fic :)

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: September 09, 2010 12:11 PM · On: Reckless

Guh!  A chapter worth waiting for!  As Brian says, its only time.  So long as you continue the story and post what you write, I suppose I can be patient.

I love that Justin's world is finally getting bigger - dinner and brunch with family aside, going out for dinner with Brian, planning movie outings with Daphne, and now conquring the Diner.  Yay Justin!

Cant wait to learn what Brian is up to.

Author's Response:

Thank you! It's definitely all about time at this point for them. And for me, but I'm trying to get the next chapter up ASAP. I've set a deadline for myself, so hopefully that will help me make time and keep going.

I'm glad you're enjoying Justin's expanding world. I absolutely love writing about a Justin who is once again enjoying life, after so much angst. And as for Brian, that should be coming up next chapter. :)

Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments. They're so very specific and detailed, and while I love and appreciate all reviews, I love knowing what bits in particular someone enjoyed, or what parts made them think. Thanks so much! :D

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2010 01:45 PM · On: Choice

I wasn't sure what had changed my mind. I hadn't wanted the antidepressants at first. And though I was sure it played a part, I knew sheer desperation wasn't the only answer.

I find that sometimes the problem lies in acknowledging within yourself that you cannot do it alone.  It may feel like another weakness you dont want to show by having a bottle of pills as a crutch.  Its bullshit of course.  Like Brian said, he self-medicated with alcohol, as if that was a stronger choice; more manly and acceptable.

Alcohol blurrs the pain, true.  But it blurs everything else, too.  Being drunk is not conductive to good decision making. 

Antidepressants, when they are properly administered and adjusted, does the opposite.  They can silence the voices in your head that cause the pain, giving you a chance to see more clearly the choices you have.  They can calm you enough to understand that their are other choices, and allows to make decisions.

Antidepressants are not salvation in a bottle.  But between the two choices, booze or perscription pills, they are the better bottle to chose. :o)

Author's Response:

I agree, sometimes the biggest issue is having to be vulnerable enough to recognize and admit that you need help and can't do it alone. Like you said, it's bullshit, and a bottle of anti-depressants is certainly more helpful than drowning your sorrows in alcohol. But even knowing this, in my own experience, the bottle of pills is the one that requires you to let go of some pride first. :)

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2010 04:55 AM · On: Reason

I wanted him back. More than anything, I wanted Justin back. Not only for sex, and not only for my sake...the world was too dark these days, without Sunshine smiles to illuminate it; the sun in the sky could never compare.

Ever so lonely, alone.  Heartbroken.  :o(

Awesome powerful line.

Author's Response:

Thanks :)  He is lonely and heartbroken, but as you've read, things do get better :)


Reviewer: emd (Anonymous) · Date: September 08, 2010 02:29 AM · On: Reckless

I was so happy to see this update I almost screamed :-D. Amazing as usual, especially the end was so beautiful and emotional.

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: September 07, 2010 08:25 PM · On: Reckless

this is just so very very good! thanks for writing

Author's Response:

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: September 06, 2010 11:20 PM · On: Reckless

Beautiful.. It's amazing to see how comfortable Justin is becoming... going to the diner and fooling around in the jeep...lol... but..he still has a long way to go before things can go back to the way they were before...IF...they ever can after all that's happened ... I thought for a minute Mikey was going to spill the beans about what Brian was doing when he told Justin...not to give up hope about getting justice for what the Sap did.... I really hope something gets resolved about that soon.. to give Justin and Brian the closure that they both desperately need....

Author's Response:

They do still have quite a way to go, but things are also getting much better for them, even if they're not the way they once were. And a resolution to the Brian's plans for the Sap should be coming up next chapter. :)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: sophie's mom (Anonymous) · Date: September 06, 2010 08:24 AM · On: Reckless

baby steps. that's all they need to do is take baby steps. stopping his sleeping pills, going and sitting by himself at the diner, all baby steps.

he has to talk to michael again. michael's talking about the bashing and putting it into comic book form. perfect for the meeting at the glc.

they're taking their time getting there, but brian giving him a blow job without him freaking out is bringing them so much closer.

so glad you updated.

Author's Response:

It really is all about the baby steps, and slowly putting his life back together. I'm glad you liked the part with Michael and the blow job (I really enjoyed writing that part, lol).

Thanks for reading and commenting :D

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 25, 2010 04:46 AM · On: Freedom

Guh.  The last few chapters have been amazing.  Im adoring Brian's tenderness and caution, especially because he has zero resentment towards Justin, only endless patience.

I love Twink Justin`s courage and fierce determination.  While he is unable to be certain of what he is capable of doing, he is positive of what he is going after.  Just love that about him. 

Please update soon!

Author's Response:

Thanks again :D I just couldn't see Brian being at all angry or resentful towards Justin over this. I adored the sweet, tender Brian we saw after the bashing, and I figured he'd pretty much return to that version of himself after something like this. And Fierce!Brave!Twink!Justin is one of my absolute favorite things. ;) :D

Working on the update, so hopefully it'll be up...sometime soon. Also, sorry about taking so long to reply. For some reason, my 'respond' button on my review page decided to disappear. It's kindly decided to return, and hopefully it will stay where it is now, but if not, I figured I'd better take advantage of its sudden reappearance. (Don't you just love technology?)

Anyways, thanks again for all your reviews. I really appreciate them :D

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 22, 2010 01:00 PM · On: Survivor

, but somewhere in the nearly two years I'd known him, Justin had adopted my little family of friends.

, Justin smiled softly and assured them that it was okay. He gave Gus his rapt attention as my three-year-old son began to describe the “funnest” new toy his mothers had bought him.

Gus would be less than two years old, same age as the length of their relationship.

I haven't commented in several chapters, but you should know that I am really being drawn into your story.  It is very good.  Thanks for writing it!

Author's Response:

Lol, yeah, I had someone over at ff.net point this out to me, too. I'm not entirely sure how I came up with Gus's age here, actually. I'm going to go with the excuse that I've spent so much time trying to figure out Cowlip's timeline that it's started to affect my timelines now, too.

Also, I'm so glad that you've been enjoying the story. There are a lot of things, big and small, that I wish I could alter in this fic (many of which you've pointed out) but all in all, I've enjoyed writing about the boys as they've healed, and I'm glad that so many people have enjoyed reading it, too.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2010 02:31 PM · On: Truth

I sighed. “Listen, Justin...Ted and Emmett told me that Sapperstein got arrested,” I told him cautiously, watching to see how he'd react. “That's...that's how I found out. One of the other dancers apparently went to one of those parties, and...”

He sat up suddenly. “It happened to someone else?”

I nodded, and pulled him gently back down on top of me. His shoulders were tense, and his hand twisted itself in my shirt.

“They pressed charges. If someone else came forward...there's a better chance that Sap will be...”

“I can't, Brian,” he said firmly. “I just...want to forget it all. I'd have to give a statement and everything, go to court...I don't want to do any of that, I can't...”

“Shh, okay,” I whispered. He was starting to get worked up again. “You don't have to.”

I personally think this is a very important line of questioning.  I DON'T feel it is a victim's DUTY to press charges and do whatever they can to get a criminal off the streets....On the other hand, the guilt you can feel IF they reoffend (as if you somehow take on some kind of omniscent control of their personal choices, bah!) can be devistating.

Justin, however, is something special and I just cannot see him letting is own (rightful and cruelly enforced) fears keep him from doing everthing in his power, and beyond, to put Sap away.

Author's Response:

This is another thing, in hindsight, that I'm not sure I would keep the same if I had the chance to change it. I used Justin's reaction and emotions after the bashing as a kind of "guideline" for some parts, and I think this was one of them. In S4, he was so angry with himself because he was too scared after he was bashed to seek justice himself.  I think if he had been given time to heal and also mull over his anger and the injustice in this story, the way he did on the show, he might have had the strength to go after the Sap (even if, as on the show in S4, his attempts were rather misguided). But, like in S2, at this point I think he was still going through too much and trying to heal himself to think about taking any legal action.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2010 11:26 AM · On: Abstract

And that was when I came to the realization...that face, that sketch...I had captured something on paper I never had before. An idea, an emotion...something so abstract, it shocked me to see it in front of me now, in physical form...but I recognized it when I did.

That was what fear looked like.

You lost me a bit here.  Sap's twisted face is what fear looked like???

Author's Response:

Hmm...honestly, I don't remember exactly what I was trying to say here, lol. It got away from me a little, but I think it was something about how the Sap's face represented pure fear to Justin. Looking back, there are several things I wish I could change about this story, from single lines to whole plot lines. This is one line I wish I could change and make clearer.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: July 10, 2010 09:05 AM · On: Freedom

Congrads to you for the Blue Ribbon and Featured Story status.

Author's Response:

Thanks :D I appreciate it!

Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 05:30 PM · On: Freedom

wowww so beautiful written.

please next time!! agrrrrrrr need the next chapter ASAP. * giggles, sorry *

* hugs *

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :D And I promise to try and hurry with the next chapter. *hugs you back*

Reviewer: debv3 (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2010 08:40 AM · On: Alone

Please up-date this is a wonderful story I love how you have found the truly loving and emotional side of Brian. You deal with the subject matter with a lot of empathy.

Reviewer: Valerie Shoucair (Anonymous) · Date: June 10, 2010 05:40 AM · On: Over

Truth, Hope, Love!

Reviewer: Valerie Shoucair (Anonymous) · Date: June 10, 2010 02:16 AM · On: Extraordinary

This story is amazing!  Thank you so much and pleaase keep writing!

Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2010 11:05 PM · On: Alone

Oooohh how could I missed this update. I love this story so much. Don't wait too long with the next chapter.

* big hug * 

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'll try to get the next one up soon, I promise :D

Reviewer: Bliss (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2010 02:33 PM · On: Alone

Your update made my day!

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad :D

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: March 31, 2010 10:14 AM · On: Alone

i loved their thoughts of their night in the shower but i think justin is pushing himself too fast. good thing brian is cleared headed enough to realize what was happening and stopped before justin really freaked. i'm glad he handled being left alone. it's a step in the right direction.

i can't believe brian stood there and lied to him. for whatever reason brian has never lied to him before. i hope he tells justin what's so secretative before justin finds out from someone or somewhere else. i think brian lying to him would hurt almost as if brian didn't trust him.

Author's Response:

Thanks! Brian will always take care of Justin, especially when Justin doesn't do it for himself.

Brian has his (somewhat fucked up) reasons, and hopefully Justin will understand them, even if he is pissed upon finding out that Brian lied to him.

Thanks for R&R-ing :D

Reviewer: manuela (Anonymous) · Date: March 31, 2010 07:56 AM · On: Alone

I'm really glad you said you want to finish this story, because I really love it and I can't even imagine not knowing how it ends. So I say take all the time you need, but please finish this!

This chapter was great, but that's nothing new, this entire story is. I loved how much you focused on the aftermath of Brian and Justin having some form of sex again. It was a huge step for Justin, for both of them, and it deserved the attention you gave to it. I particularly liked the morning after, when Justin is awake and looking at Brian and touching him while Brian's still sleeping. Very sweet.

I also loved of course that Brian trusted Justin to be left alone and be allright, even though he had to call him every 20 minutes to reassure himself.

I'm a little worried about this lie Brian told Justin about the email. I understand why he lied, but I'm afraid it might cause trouble, because when Justin finds out he might feel his trust was betrayed. And that trust is so important between them now. But I'm confident you'll deal with everything in the right way, because there's not one single thing about this fic that I haven't liked so far.

I'm looking forward to read the last part of this story.

Author's Response:

Thanks! I honestly can't imagine not writing an end to this fic, after putting so much into it, so it may take me a bit, but I am definitely planning on finishing it :)

I was really worried about the "morning after" part being way too long, since before my million rewrites, it took up most of the chapter. So I'm insanely glad that thought it deserved the attention. (The part where Justin is awake and touching Brian in his sleep was pure indulgence...I loved writing that, and I'm so happy you liked it.)

Their trust for each other is extremely important right now, and Justin's not going to be very happy about being lied to at all. Hopefully, though, he'll understand Brian's reasoning eventually.

Thank you so much for reading and for your kind review! I really appreciate it! :D

Reviewer: Fiona (Anonymous) · Date: February 26, 2010 12:52 PM · On: Risk


Author's Response:

Thanks! :)

Reviewer: camm (Anonymous) · Date: February 06, 2010 11:35 PM · On: Risk

That was a beautiful chapter! So much emotion. Yay Justin's negative!!!

I have a question I've been wondering about. Has Brian been tricking at all since he found out? I don't remember it saying a definite yes or no. I would like to think he hasn't.

Author's Response:

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D

In my mind, he has been tricking occasionally still. It's not that important to the story, except that there probably won't be any raw!sex. Sorry :(

Thanks for R&R-ing :)

Reviewer: Elvenfixation (Anonymous) · Date: February 05, 2010 02:13 AM · On: Risk

...that was absolutely amazing. I've read a lot of love/sex scenes, some good, some badly written, but I'm sure I've never seen one as beautiful as the one in this chapter...just incredible.  You are so talented, I look forward to reading more of your work after this story is finished; though I will miss it.

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. I've written quite a few QAF sex scenes, but this one was definitely one of the most enjoyable for me. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D

Reviewer: Erdmut1 (Anonymous) · Date: February 02, 2010 02:21 PM · On: Risk

I've now read this chapter three times! so beautiful.... Just wondering, has Brian been tricking these past 6 months?

Author's Response:

In my mind, Brian has been tricking occasionally, but it really doesn't have any bearing on the story, except that there probably won't be any raw!sex. Sorry :(

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: February 01, 2010 09:11 PM · On: Risk

OMG.....  I am very glad that Justin is OK... and that he is finally starting to put what happened out of his mind for a little while.... and concentrate on himself and Brian returning to their normal lives......... 

Author's Response:

Thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying the return to their old lives :D

Reviewer: Lollipop (Anonymous) · Date: February 01, 2010 06:33 PM · On: Risk

WOW! I've never read a fic as good as this! There's not enough good words in this world to describe it!

DON'T ever stop writing, you have a real talent!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it :D

Reviewer: manuela (Anonymous) · Date: February 01, 2010 09:00 AM · On: Risk

Such an amazing chapter, so emotiona, so difficult, so beautiful. You did a great job in writing this. You built a lot of tension through the chapter, with the HIV test and the attempts at almost sex and the end was a relief not just for Brian&Justin but for me too, as a reader.

Thanks for still writing this story. I'll miss it when it's finished.

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :D I have to admit, I'll miss it when it's finished, too. ;)

Reviewer: linda (Anonymous) · Date: February 01, 2010 07:50 AM · On: Risk

a long time to wait thought we'd never get to this chapter.  well waiting for writing is incredible.  please continue sooooooon!!!. precious

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Reviewer: emd (Anonymous) · Date: January 06, 2010 06:55 AM · On: Waiting

What an evil way to end this chapter ;-) I cannot wait to see what will happen next! Hope Justin's tests will be OK. Although it's kind of expected, I'm still a bit sad that there're only a few chapters left of this amazing fic.

Author's Response:

Hehe, sorry ;) But thanks :) Yeah, there's only a few left, but I promise to try and make them worth it :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: bksbracelet (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2010 07:06 PM · On: Waiting

OMG OMG OMG how wonderful huge steps taken by Justin the absolute trust he has in Brian to care for him. Yes Brian would push Justin away if he was positive no way would he risk Justin :)Chris

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Brian does have an unfortunate habit of pushing away the people he loves "for their own good."

Thanks for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: HalfTime1030 (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2010 08:23 AM · On: Waiting

Glad to see you're updating again - and with such a lovely addition! :)

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2010 08:22 AM · On: Waiting

omg. the first half so dark, filled with doubts. filled with fear of the coming results. the last half. omg! what an amazing thing for him to experience. if he had thought that they wouldn't get back what they had or it wouldn't be as good, this sunday morning in bed just proved that they will get it back and it will be better than before.

it was nice that ben took the time to reassure him.

 i can't believe that you didn't let us know what his results are, but i get the feeling they'll be good and then maybe a bit of 'celebrating'.

Author's Response:

Thank you :D I'm so glad you liked the scene at the end, and the part with Ben. As for the results...hmm...well, they'll be in the next chapter ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: November 29, 2009 06:24 PM · On: Enough

I adore your work. Thank you for sharing your talent! You've written a gripping, poignant story that avoids melodrama. It feels emotionally authentic.


I can't wait to read more. :)

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story :) Keeping it authentic has been one of my biggest concerns, so I'm glad you think it feels that way!

Thanks again for R&Ring! :D

Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 09:42 PM · On: Enough

wonderful chapter, but poor Justin * sniffs *

Author's Response:

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :) It's hard for Justin now, but in the long run, it'll better that he at least tried. Thanks again :D

Reviewer: Kat_US (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2009 08:35 AM · On: Enough

Jeebus, poor Justin, I guess setbacks are realistic and to be expected but disappointing nevertheless. Wow, Brian's self restraint is nothing short of amazing, imo.


PS: I think this is a typo? “layer” (didn't they all have layers?), did you mean "lair"?

Author's Response:

It killed me to have to write the flashback in, but it felt more realistic that way, given that it was the first time he'd tried something like that, and he was completely alone.

Oops! Yeah, that was my bad. Thanks for pointing it out, I fixed it! :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: bksbracelet (Anonymous) · Date: November 26, 2009 06:02 PM · On: Enough

OMG OMG OMG this fic will do my head in. The angst is killing me I thought we were going to get them there in this chapter but the Sap reappeared. Brian's patience and willingness to let Justin lead whilst also keeping a slow rein on them both is brilliant. I love the way this fic swtches POVs so we get inside the head of both of them over the same event.

The major step forward of going out to dinner and keeping the loft a haven wonderful and Justin taking responsibility for Gus helping Justin be  someone else  for a while.

I LOVE THIS FIC thank you

Author's Response:

I really, really wanted to get them there, believe me, but I thought it was more realistic this way. The POV switch thing is mostly because I don't know how to make up my mind, but I'm glad you like that, lol. Justin's not 100% yet, but he's getting there. :)

Thank you for reading & reviewing :D

Reviewer: manuela (Anonymous) · Date: November 26, 2009 05:46 PM · On: Changes

I love your story, I really do. I like the way you take time to get Justin through what happened to him. I read a few fics dealing with rape, either happened to Brian or Justin, and yours is the one that I feel is handling the subject better.

I was sad the bad memories attacked Justin again in the shower, but it's realistic. What happened to him was terrible and even though Justin doesn't want to hear it, it takes time.

I love Brian being there for him like he is. He was great in this chapter, I loved the way he took care of him after the shower incident.

I'm glad Justin is thinking maybe it would be better to try to take things further with Brian. I think it would be the right choice, Brian can take care of him better than anyone and can bring him back if he gets another panick attack.

I'm looking forward to read the rest of this story.

Author's Response:

Thank you! One thing I didn't want to do was put Justin through this horrible thing and then have him healed all of the sudden, so I'm glad you think it's working this way.

I hated writing the memories in the shower, but it felt like the only realistic way it could happen. He's a lot better, but it's still going to take time. And I love a sweet!Brian, too. I always thought he'd do anything to take care of the people he loves and who need him. :)

Thank you for reading and commenting :D

Reviewer: elvenfixation (Anonymous) · Date: November 26, 2009 04:20 PM · On: Enough

Beautiful, as always. I know I haven't reviewed in a really long time, but I'm still here...eagerly awaiting each new chapter. And every chapter has always been worth the wait. I'm so happy Justin is getting better and that he and Brian are slowly working their way back to their sex life; though I am still worried about the results of his final HIV test...please, don't let him positive. But do give the Sap plenty of pain, I can't wait to see what Brian's been planning all this time.

This is such an amazing story, and I will again be putting it on my 'Best of the Year List' which I will be posting on my LJ in a few weeks.

Have a good Thanksgiving.

Author's Response:

Thank you! Don't worry about not reviewing, I'm just glad you're still here and enjoying the story :) Working them back up to their old lives, as far as sex goes, has been one of my favorite parts of writing this fic. If the next chapter stays mostly the way I have it written now, Justin's HIV tests and status are going to be a big part of it, either way. And believe me, it will be my pleasure (and Brian's) to give the Sap as much pain as possible. :)

Thanks for R&Ring :D


Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: November 26, 2009 09:22 AM · On: Enough

It's too bad that just when things were starting to get better..Justin had a setback...but.. I guess that's to be expected... hopefully the next time... with Brian's help...they will have better results..... update soon....

Author's Response:

It sucks, but there's always next time to try again, and hopefully, as you said, with better results. :) 

Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: Kat_US (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2009 12:48 PM · On: Over

I usually try to avoid WIPs, but your story was recommended by someone at LJ and I was hooked after the first chapter.

I think I might have suffered from angst overload if it wasn't for the fact that you are an amazingly talented writer. I find ALL of your characters to be spot on perfect. I especaily liked how you managed to weave Rage into the story in a way that is so believable.

I am happy that your computer problems are behind you and I kook forward to the completion of this story. *asks politely, "soon please"*

Author's Response:

Thank you :D I'm so glad you like the story so far!

I was nervous about including Rage, so I'm glad you thought it was believable. And it's a huge relief to hear that the characters are IC...Brian, in particular, is difficult for me to write.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: autumnrae89 (Signed) · Date: November 09, 2009 08:28 AM · On: Over

I just read this in it's entirety over the last couple of days and I have to say "Hats off to you." It's so beautifully written and real. I can't say I wasn't frustrated by Justin's lack of want to help himself in the earlier chapters but at the same time it's what gave it authenticity and made it so much more worthwhile when he did begin to turn it around.

Thank you very much for being brave enough to write this story and write it as well as you have. I look forward to seeing Justin (and Brian's!) progress in the chapters to come.

Author's Response:

Thank you :D I'm so glad you're enjoying Justin's healing process, as frustrating as it can be, and things will definitely continue to progress and improve for them both! Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: bksbracelet (Anonymous) · Date: November 07, 2009 05:05 PM · On: Over

OMG I adore this fic you are a wonderful writer. This chapter spoke of hope for me all the way through. Justin and Brian both trying for closure knowing the journey has a way to go before it can. With all illnessess it is frustrating the time it takes for a body to heal once the healing starts. We always want our lives back to the place they were before the trauma or illness happened. I see this thread all through the lovely chapter.

Hope, hope, hope thank you

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D Yeah, they've still got a way to go, but they are getting there. :)  Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: November 07, 2009 04:22 PM · On: Over

Love this story so much. You write beautiful. Thanks for the update.

* hugs *

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it :D

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: November 06, 2009 08:54 AM · On: Over

Beautiful....  I love that Justin is starting to be "Justin" again..... before it seemed like he was a giant jigsaw puzzle ... and now with Brian and Kathy's help... one by one... the pieces are starting to fit together.. I can't wait to see how Brian's revenge scheme with Carl turns out...

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) It's a slow process, but he's definitely starting to become himself again. Thanks for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: manuela (Anonymous) · Date: November 06, 2009 03:23 AM · On: Changes

I loved this chapter, so emotionally beautiful. I love how supportive and patient Brian is, the way he thinks about Justin first and foremost instead of his own needs. I loved Justin "closure" is Brian&Justin together as they used to be.

I can't wait to see what Brian has prepared to get the Sap to pay.


Author's Response:

Thank you :) When someone truly needs him, I've always seen Brian as the kind of person to be there for them, no matter what. And I'm glad you liked Justin's "closure." It was one of my favorite parts to write. :)

Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: November 06, 2009 12:04 AM · On: Over

omg! so worth the wait. it's getting closer to coming home. together.

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :D

Reviewer: Alina (Anonymous) · Date: October 09, 2009 12:42 AM · On: Changes

oh, I just noticed that I left a anonymous review...sorry :)

well, now you know, it was from me ;)

hugs, Alina

Author's Response:

Oops, lol. I responded to that one, too. Thank you again for reviewing :D

Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 04:10 PM · On: Trust

Just wow ... I'm speechless, this is such a wonderful emotional story. I'm glad Justin is doing much better.

Hope you update soon, please

Author's Response:

Thank you :) I'm so happy you're enjoying the story, and Justin's recovery. Thanks for r&r-ing :D

Reviewer: cattabella (Anonymous) · Date: October 06, 2009 11:31 AM · On: Trust

oh lord, that was heartwarming. can't wait for more, don't desert us!

Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: cattabella (Anonymous) · Date: October 06, 2009 11:12 AM · On: Extraordinary

I am just so relieved you aren't letting the fic die! Very long and rewarding chapter. Lovely.

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :D

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: October 06, 2009 01:02 AM · On: Changes

Oh my god, that was quick! :) Well, I didn't expect an update, but I enjoyed this chapter so much.

I love your 'version' of Brian...he is very, very similar to the 'Season-two-Brian' (after the bashing) and that's SO cute :)

You write very in-character  (do you say that? I mean the opposite of out-of-character ;) ) which is totally  amazing, because there are few writers who can do that.

 Oh, and I really wanna know what Brian and Carl are planning...please, release us soon :)

Author's Response:

I absolutely love sweet, caring, post-bashing Brian, and that's always how I see him reacting when serious h/c situations come up where he is the one doing the comforting. I'm so glad you like the version of him in this story, and that you think I'm writing IC characters...I'm always worried about making Brian too schmoopy. And I promise there will definitely be a lot more on Brian and Carl's plan. ;) Thank you for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: judi (Anonymous) · Date: October 06, 2009 12:44 AM · On: Extraordinary

Well, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones that hadn't read chapter by chapter but the whole thing in one fell swoop.  I was happy to start getting some light to read in the last two chapters and I'm looking forward to his recovery.

You do write long chapters so of course they take time.  But if there's too much time, you lose the sense of it.  You have created a definite mood that I hope you'll be able to maintain, especially as we watch him recover.  Thanks for the story.  I like it a lot and look forward to the next chapter.


Author's Response:

I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and Justin's recovery :) I definitely hope to maintain the "mood" on my end as I write, too. Thank you for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 09:08 PM · On: Memories

OMG I can't stop reading this story, this is so good, so emotional, so ... so wonderful writen. I started reading today and I will finish the rest of the chapters today.

* runs of to the next chapter, hugs *

Author's Response:

Thank you so much :) I'm so happy you like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: emd (Anonymous) · Date: October 05, 2009 12:02 AM · On: Trust

Omg, a new chapter! Can't wait to see what Brian is planning for Gary. Hope he nails that sucker soon lol. More please :-)

Author's Response:

There will be hell to pay, for sure. ;) Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: scrub13 (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 09:03 AM · On: Trust

I've been reading this story for quite a while and just wanted to say how much I love its depth of both tragedy and beauty. It is truly amazing how one decsion, one moment can have such a profound impact on a person's life and the levels of cruelty we humans are capable of heaping on each other.

This story is also testimony to the resiliancy of the human spirit and the power of love in a person's life. I love how real the emotions are in your story and how there are no quick fixes and that everyone is flawed and not expected to simply move on to advance the next plotline.

I am wondering what devious plot Brian and Carl are hatching.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story, and I'm glad that it feels realistic, which has been one of the things I've worried most about...keeping it interesting while keeping it real. And there will be more on Brian and Carl's plan later, for sure :)

Thank you so much again for your kind review :)

Reviewer: HalfTime1030 (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 06:28 AM · On: Trust

Beautiful. :)

(and I'm quite curious as to what Brian's plotting w/Carl...)

Author's Response:

Thank you, glad you liked it :) There will definitely be more on Brian and Carl's plot later. Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 04:46 AM · On: Trust

thank you so much for this update.

he's starting to feel like himself again. slowly, but he's getting there. you can tell just by how much his dreams have changed.

lindsay hit the nail on the head. as with the bashing, this happened to him too. not physically but yeah mentally. justin's fears and pains are his fears and pains added to only his fears that justin doesn't know. brian won't let him see.

the trust issue is a big thing for justin and brian giving him that much to know that he wouldn't try suicide again says so much more than he could ever ever hope for.

Author's Response:

Brian has certainly gone through it all with Justin, but as you said, he's beginning to trust him more and more. :) Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it :D

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: October 04, 2009 03:47 AM · On: Trust

I am thrilled you updated so soon... I love that Justin and Brian are finally  trusting each other more and more... and that Justin is starting to be comfortable with Brian physically... I have one question.. where have Sap and the other bastards who raped Justin been all these months??

Author's Response:

Thank you :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Brian and Justin are definitely moving into new/old territory physically. As for Sap, there's going to be more later on what he's been up to these last few months. Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: alys (Anonymous) · Date: October 03, 2009 10:36 PM · On: Trust

beautiful, love the whole/ tie/ pills nightstand conversation. truly shows how much brian cares, above and beyond his words

Author's Response:

Thanks :D Brian really does care, so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank for reviewing :D

Reviewer: Manuela (Anonymous) · Date: October 03, 2009 08:24 PM · On: Trust

thanks for the new chapter, which was as great as the rest of the story.

I really like that you stayed loyal to canon and wrote Michael and Lindsay as good friends, instead of making them uncaring or something like that as it sometimes happens in fics. I loved to see they know Brian and understand him as they often did on the show.

The dinner with Jennifer was a beautiful piece, I'm glad to see she nows knows and understands Brian and Brian&Justin more than she did before.

I admit I was worried about the pills. When Justin found them I wasn't sure of what to expect. I was happy to see he didn't take and abuse them and I was also happy to see that Brian knew and chose to trust Justin, at least to a certain level. I loved the line "you're worth too much, Justin...to take a chance over.” So true and so beautiful.

Last thing I want to say is that I love your chapters are so long, because it makes me completely immerse in the story and its atmoshpere and emotions. When chapters are too short I find it more difficult to do that.

I can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the great work!

Author's Response:

Thanks :D I never understand why Michael and Lindsay always seem to be written as the bad guys. They make mistakes where Brian is concerned, but they both really love him. I'm glad you liked the scene with Jennifer, and Brian's line about Justin :) Thanks so much for reviewing :D

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: September 27, 2009 02:16 PM · On: Extraordinary

How wonderful that Justin was finally able to complete a drawing of Brian. I knew that the one thing that was missing was the bottom half of Brian's body that Justin had been unable to draw.

He is making such strides and I'm glad that he is seeing just how far he has come.

So Brian, Ted, Mel and Carl are up to something?!

Author's Response:

His artistic self is finally catching up with his emotional healing. :)

Not exactly...they're not all up to something...I promise there will be more on this later. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2009 03:31 PM · On: Promise

Poor Justin! I was so happy that he had gone to Woody's with the guys, but worried about him too. Still making little steps, each day he's getting better. Getting a little more of himself back.

Author's Response:

He's certainly getting better, however long it takes to get himself back ;) Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D

Reviewer: Alina (Anonymous) · Date: September 25, 2009 09:56 PM · On: Changes

I just wanted to say, I totally love this fic! It's so...intensive. And I could never stop reading, even if the next update would be in 6 months :) (Don't take that serious ;)

And I think it's great that the chapters are that long...even if it is a bit difficult for me, since I'm not a native speaker, I'm from Germany. (So, sorry for my bad english)

I'm sooo looking forward to the next update! I love that Justin makes such progress :)

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. (And don't worry, I plan to update a lot sooner than six months ;) )  And your english seems great to me. I've been taking a course in Spanish, and as a result, have a new appreciation for how hard it is to learn a new language, lol.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing :D

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: September 25, 2009 03:35 PM · On: Time

I wonder what Brian is up to! So curious as to what those phone calls are about. He has to realize that Justin is going to worry about it, even with his so called answers.

Glad the sleeping pills are helping, its good that he's fnally getting a full nights rest.

Author's Response:

Hmm, he's definitely up to something.... And true, they'll never stop worrying about each other. ;)

Thanks for reviewing :D

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: September 25, 2009 03:17 PM · On: Extraordinary

It was definety worth the wait..but..try not to wait this long in the future..lol... as for the chapter.. it was wonderful seeing Justin become more comfortable about everything...especially with Brian... update soon

Author's Response:

Thank you :D Lol sorry for the wait, it really couldn't be helped, unfortunately. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for r&r-ing! :D

Reviewer: HalfTime1030 (Signed) · Date: September 25, 2009 06:11 AM · On: Extraordinary

totally loved it!! This is such a fantastic story - it's well worth the wait every time! :)

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it :D

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: September 25, 2009 04:57 AM · On: Awakening

So close, but yet so far. It is more than Justin was able to do weeks ago. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for him. He wants his life back, but he keeps hitting this wall. He'll be ok though, Brian will make sure of it.

Author's Response:

He's frustrated, but he is taking his life back, slowly but surely. ;) Thanks for commenting :D

Reviewer: EstherGreenwood (Signed) · Date: September 25, 2009 01:22 AM · On: Extraordinary

I'm still reading. :) And yes, I think you've earned a pass from being pelted by the peanut gallery with rotten fruit. Shit happens.

Author's Response:

Thanks, I'm glad you're still reading. :D And thank you very much for not pelting me with rotten fruit, LOL. Losing my laptop was certainly not by choice. ;)  

Thanks again for r&r-ing :D

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: September 24, 2009 03:24 PM · On: Choice

Its been awhile since I've read this. Didn't realize I had gotten so far behind. Well, I'm so glad to see Justin getting some of that fighting spirit back. That spark that Brian saw in his eyes was a good sign too.

I hpe Justin gets to the point where he will stop blaming himself for this. At least he knows Brian's right, that it was Sap's fault, his heart just needs to believe it.

Author's Response:

He's definitely getting there, little by little. And with Brian's help, he'll just keep getting better :)

Thanks for R&R-ing :D

Reviewer: emd (Anonymous) · Date: September 24, 2009 04:14 AM · On: Extraordinary

I'm definitely still interested and reading. So thrilled to see an update! In the meanwhile I've been re-reading the previous chapters :-) This story is so good that it's always worth the wait. Hope you continue writing.

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm so happy you're still reading and enjoying the story :D Thanks for reviewing :)

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