Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2013 01:45 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
"He sometimes forgot that this was Brian’s war as much as it was his own.'
It was only five weeks? It seems like it would have taken longer for the treatment. Maybe Justin did so well because he wasn't fighting only for himself.
I loved Emmett and those socks more than the story he told.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?”
That was such a heartfelt moment. Loved it.
Author's Response: Thanks Sandra :-)
The treatment does take longer than five weeks - it takes years and years. When a person is admitted to hospital for anorexia, they can only treat the most immediate and life-threatening symptoms like starvation. The initial weight gain can happen surprisingly fast once the person starts eating again, but it's the dangerous, obsessive thoughts and the resistance to the treatment that can take years to recover from. The test of time is always the hardest.
I'm really glad you liked Emmett in this chapter - I just loved him after I'd finished writing it. I can see Emmett being profoundly affected by Trudy's tragic story.
So glad you enjoyed this chapter - thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful and insightful comments :-)
Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2013 12:55 PM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
"But he didn’t have a fucking choice. He hated not having the choice to control his own life."
I really woke up from a much needed nap so I'm still behind in getting my reviews done but I am determined.
I can see Justin or anyone geting to a breaking point in the treatment. It does seem as if he was forced to eat or else anf treated like a petulant child who wounldn't eat there vegetables. I don't see how anyone could get through such a treatment without a good support system.
I can see Justin worried about cum calories. That was funny.
Oh, your new userpics ARE AESOME! You always had gorgeous ones but you know I love the Lark series.
Author's Response: Thanks Sandra :-) I'm sorry it's taking me so long to get back to these - after the holidays, I'm really behind in replying to all my comments *sigh* As far as the treatment goes... well, I'm on the fence about whether or not this is really the best way to treat anorexia. I certainly have some reservations and even some bitterness about it myself. But this is the way the illness is treated for very serious cases, and it does require an awful lot of self-will and a lot of support. The part about the cum was meant to be a bit humorous, but it is also kind of sad that Justin was so far gone that little tiny things like this continued to haunt him. There was no escaping his obsession, not even with Brian...
I love my userpics for The Lark as well *g* Did you see the banner as well? I'm just thrilled with it ;-)
Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2013 12:27 PM · On: If You Need Me
"It made Brian’s heart ache."
I listened to this as a was packing so I had to go back to make sure I hadn't missed anything. The program seemed so severe. Close watch? I then realized that it was a life and death situation. It might as well have been a suicide watch.
It was heartwrenching to see how much it affected Brian and Jennifer and beautiful to see how support they provided.
Author's Response: Thanks Sandra! I think it's so cool that you're listening to this like an audiobook ;-) The ED recovery program is pretty harsh, but I suppose the people who developed it would tell you it has to be. By the time a person needs to be hospitalized for an ED, it is a life and death situation - that's who serious and unrelenting the obsessions are. It's also a sad but true fact that most deaths that are related to EDs are suicides. That's how crippling they can be, and it is a very, very difficult cycle to break. That said, in my opinion, loving support of the kind that Brian and Jennifer are giving Justin is the only real anecdote...
Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2012 01:41 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
‘Broken wings,’ he thought, ‘but unbroken soul.’
The tough love of Brian was a beautiful thing to behold.
I was surprised that Justin wanted his mother called. I knew that he needed Brian.
Author's Response: Thanks Sandra *hugs* Yes, there is an awful lot of tough love in the story...
Incidentally, Justin didn't want Jennifer called. Brian called her because he knew he couldn't handle Justin in the state he was in by himself. I don't think Justin would have told Jennifer by himself — he tried so hard to keep it from Brian, and I image he would have tried doubly hard to keep it from his mother...
Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful comment. *hugs*
Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2012 01:30 AM · On: Shades of Grey
“Brian was slowly beginning to piece together all the puzzle pieces that he’d been accumulating over the past two months. Although he didn’t understand the illness itself, he was beginning to understand what made it tick.”
There seems to be so many factors affecting Justin that I can’t keep up. Loneliness triggered his condition, but now I’m reading self-hatred and a need to please his friends and family. Maybe because I’m so busy right now that I’m absorbing everything, but I want to make sure I understand as much as Brian. Is it depression that is causing the anorexia?
Author's Response: Hey Sandra :-) Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this comment - it's been a little crazy lately! In answer to your question, is more the other way around - the depression is a result of the anorexia. An eating disorder can be very isolating and stress-inducing, which in turn can lead to depression. Because the disorder is sometimes perceived by the victim as being 'self-inflicted', this can lead to self-doubt, and hatred of the idea that you're doing something to yourself that you have absolutely no power to stop. The sheer power of the eating disorder's obsessive-compulsive tendencies makes the victim feel as if they are 'in control' emotionally, even as they know logically are completely out of control. It it a horrible place to be, trust me. It's no wonder that anorexia and depression nearly always go hand-in-hand.
Reviewer: no sleep (Anonymous) · Date: December 15, 2012 05:31 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
It's difficult doing this on my nook at work, so this may look a little ragged. I needed something to sink my teeth into and decided to give this a try. I read this inthe past bu can't remember the details. I loved the way you had Justin describe his need for contro, or rather his reasons why. He didn't have control over certainaspects of his life. Contro,ing his hunger was all he had. When he listed his father's hatred of him, his gimp hand, and the other hateful things he had endured, Ihad not realized how much he had gone through. Oops, time to past meds.
Author's Response: Hey Sandra :-) I'm really glad you decided to give this story a shot - I know you said that eating disorder fics are not really your cup of tea, which I totally understand. Still, I hope you'll find this one meaningful. In terms of Justin's need for control, I don't think it was any one of those factors (his father's refusal to accept his sexuality, his gimp hand etc) that triggered the eating disorder itself. Rather, Justin was trying to get control of his life in the moment, trying to deal with the loneliness and stress, and he retroactivly realized that his father and his gimp hand were things he hadn't been able to control and that had caused hi greif. In other words, they weren't the trigger - they were just things he used to justify his need to control his hunger. Does that make sense? In any case, thank you so much for reading, as always, and for all your wonderful and thoughtful comments. They mean a lot :-)
Reviewer: Bigdogz09 (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2011 11:25 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
Loved this, so well written and very inspirational. It's been quite a roller coaster ride at times, but such a enriching ride. Thanks so much for sharing this.
All the best,
Laura
Author's Response: Thanks so much Laura :-) Your comment really means a lot to me. This story really is a roller coaster ride - it was certainly for me while I was writing it, and I hope for everyone who reads it. I'm thrilled that you found it inspirational and enriching. Knowing that means so much. Thanks again for reading and for all your wonderful reviews. I really appreciate them all :-)
Reviewer: Bigdogz09 (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2011 10:38 PM · On: Like the First Time
Loved the last line, 'This time was forever.' Wonderful, wonderful!
Author's Response: And there's my hopeless romantic side coming through ;-) Glad you liked it. Thanks again for reading and for your comment. It means a lot :-D
Reviewer: Bigdogz09 (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2011 10:06 AM · On: If You Need Me
So intense and sad, but so good.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you found this chapter so poignant. It was a tough on to write, but I'm happy that the message got through :-) Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful comment. I appreciate it so much.
Reviewer: Bigdogz09 (Signed) · Date: July 16, 2011 09:15 AM · On: Shades of Grey
Wow, this is so powerful, so touching. This fic was recommended at GETITHERE and it is wonderful!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and that you found it poignant. I wrote it with the intention of making a point, and I think the story did achieve it in the end. I saw that it was recc'ed on Getithere /! The story is also on my LJ, along with the short sequel, "What a Wonderful Life".
Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful comment. It really means a lot and I appreciate it so much :-)
Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: July 02, 2010 02:24 AM · On: The Way To His Heart
Wow wonderful story, thanks for writing
* hugs *
Author's Response:
Thanks Marny :-) I'm so happy that you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review - it means a lot :-)
Reviewer: dzmom (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2010 07:31 AM · On: The Way To His Heart
Beautiful. Breathtaking. You captured an anorexic's thoughts perfectly. Thank you for telling this story.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading it. I know it's not the easiest tale in the world to read, but it was a story that needed to be told. I'm very glad that you thought it was accurate and effective. Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful comment. It really means a lot to me :-)
Reviewer: balrogtweety (Signed) · Date: November 30, 2009 07:14 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
This was a wonderful story. Thanks
Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for redaing and for your winderful review :-) I really appreciate it!
Reviewer: lougenessis (Anonymous) · Date: April 03, 2009 11:57 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
Simply brilliant. Thanks for giving us all a great explanation of the struggles of anorexia and how Justin and the people he loved help him battle it and succeed to get over it. Great story
Author's Response: Thanks :-) I'm really glad you enjoyed this tory, and that you could sense the difficulty and pain both Justin and Brian went through in his recovery. There's a lot of me in this story, and so it means a lot to know that the true message got through- that is, not that anorexia is difficult, but that people survive it. Thanks so much for reading, and for your wonderful comment. I appreciate it so much.
Reviewer: butterflytiger_1982 (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2008 12:08 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
I just got to read this fic, while you were writing it a bunch of my friends in the fandom told me I had to read it, that it was so good so I was waiting impatiently for you to finish it as I don't read WIP but then none of them told me when you had finished *stomps foot* but I finally noticed to was done and I just had to drop everything and read it. This story just wouldn't let me go, I gave up sleep before school because I needed to read this, I couldn't stop once I started. It's a beautiful original storyline and fantastically written. It's scary to think that Justin could stop something he loved as much as eating to be able to control something. I'm so glad you showed how it effected Brian as well as Justin and that the fight to get Justin healthy wasn't just his fight but Brian's as well. It's a wonderful story, great job. Later, Jessica
Author's Response: Thanks Jessica! I did drag this story out for about four months, so I'm sort of glad you waited until it was completed to read it ;) I'm so pleased that you found this story enjoyable and compelling. I'm also really glad that you could see that this was Brain's fight just as much as it was Justin's. Anorexia is a very powerful, destructive illness and it takes courageous strong, loving support in order to see the recovery process through. Thanks again for reading, and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2008 04:16 AM · On: The Way To His Heart
What a great ending! I really enjoyed this story. I knew Justin would survive and that Brian would be right there beside him.
Author's Response: Thanks Kat! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story :) It was a really rough ride for both Brian and Justin, but with the strong, loving support they each offered each other, there is a promise of a happily ever after ;) Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for all your wonderful reviews. I appreciate them all so much!
Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: August 16, 2008 09:44 AM · On: The Way To His Heart
Well, I have tears in my eyes. I so enjoyed this as you know and this was such a fitting end to an amazing story. So many great quotes in this last chapter but one of my many faves "We don’t have ‘separate ways’,” Brian replied softly, kissing the top of the blonde head. “All roads lead back to you, Sunshine; no matter how hard I try to divert them." I'm so glad that Justin survived and you did too. I often thought about this story while I was away meeting Randy in Stockbridge and wondered if he would enjoy what you've done with this story. I've recced this on TQL and now that it's finished I know that quite a few more people will read it. I think this may be your best so far. Brians' support in this was astonishing - always trying to do the right thing and I know if I was Jennifer I would have freaked out just as much as she did. I could go on and on - I think I just did. Looking forward to your next story.
Author's Response: *Hands you a tissue* Thank you so much! This wonderful review makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside ;) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story, and that you think it might be one of my best. There's so much of me in this story- more so than in any of my other fics- and I guess that's what makes it so...human, I guess. I love hurt/comfort, and I loved writing a loving, protective Brian who was not only able to be strong for Justin, but also who helped Justin be strong for himself. I'm really glad you liked Brian's quote in this chapter ;) Thanks you SO MUCH for reccing this story- I do appreciate that very, very much. And thanks again for reading, and for all your much-adored reviews- they all mean a lot to me :) P.S.- Happy belated birthday!
Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: August 16, 2008 09:17 AM · On: Snakes and Ladders
After 19 days away in the US yours was the first story I read when I got back. I have missed this so much. What a stunning chapter. I can just feel their pain leaping off the page. Brian is being such a supportive partner when really all he wants to do is keep Justin safe with him. Goody, another chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks! I hope you enjoyed your holiday- I hear that you got to meet Randy, you lucky thing ;) I'm so honoured that this was the first story you went back to ;) I've been terrible about posting updates as of late (my RL has been pure instanity), so I'm glad there were two chapters for you when you got back. I'm really glad you liked this chapter, and that you could 'feel' all the emotions. Brian is truly a joy to write in this story- at his protective, loving best ;) Thanks again for reading, and for your much-loved review!
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: August 15, 2008 01:50 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
...wow. An amazing ending. Brian and Justi talking made me choke up and I thought for sure I was going to cry. This was an amazing story. So much pain, hope, and love mixed together. You did a wonderful job. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Author's Response: Thanks Jackie ;) Sorry about those heartstrings- I just can't resist tugging on them every now and then ;) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story, and that you were able to 'feel' all of the emotions. Thank you so much for reading, as alwasys, and for coming along on the ride ;) I appreciate all your wonderful reviews so much!
Reviewer: Jacky M (Anonymous) · Date: August 15, 2008 12:35 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
This story and the ending does indeed give us all a huge feeling of love, courage and hope. Indeed it gives us readers a wonderful sense of optimism. You have given us all a rare insight into this scourge of so many of our beautiful young people. You are a fine writer and a heroic young woman to share this with us. Jacky M
Author's Response: Thanks Jacky ;) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story, and that you liked the ending. I wanted to close the story on that hopeful, optimistic note because I felt it would be most realistic, leaving a promise of a 'happily ever fater'. Yes, eating disorders are sadly prevalent in the world today, and so many people-men and women- chose to suffer in silence because there illness is not accepted or misunderstood. But it is getting better as people learn more about how and why to occur- and there is always hope ;) Thanks again for all you kind and thoughtful words, Jacky. I do appreciate it so much ;)
Reviewer: Wildsweet_angel (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2008 08:41 AM · On: The Way To His Heart
Beautiful ending. You gave a very realistic account of what it's like to suffer from an eating disorder. I enjoyed this story tremendously. Bravo, for a job well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story, and that you found it to be realistic and sincere. I'm also really glad you liked the ending ;) Thanks again for reading, and for your much-adored review. I appreciate it very much!
Reviewer: Alice (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2008 06:58 AM · On: The Way To His Heart
A perfect ending to a perfectly told story! Sapphire, you are truly the master at keeping people on the verge of tears, either from laughter or because we can feel the sincerity with which this story is told. I have yet to find a fanfic anywhere that deals with a serious problem in such a realistic and honest way. You not only portrayed their struggles, but also emphasized how powerful it is to have someone who understands, or at least tries to understand, and does what is best for the one they love when they are faced with a problem like this. Keep writing! :D Sorry if I began to ramble, and I hope that in a weird sort of way I actually made sense. :)
Author's Response: Thanks Alice- you have no idea how much I appreciate you reveiw. It really does mean so much to me. I'm so pleased that you found this story realistic and sincere. One of my goals in writing it was to create an honest portrayal of an eating disorder- not only to illustrate how devastating and all-consuming it can be, but also to demonstarte how important strong, loving support is in the recovery process. I'm also a huge fan of a 'protective Brian', and he was in his element here ;) I'm really glad you were able to 'feel' all the emotions, as well- they were such an important part of the story. Thanks again for reading, and for this amazing reveiw. I really do appreciate it so much!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2008 03:51 AM · On: The Way To His Heart
Bravo! Perfect ending to a perfect story! This one is diffinately going in my favorites! Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so honoured that you list this story amoung your favorites- that means so much coming from such a talented writer like yourself ;) I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, and for coming along on the ride! And thanks again for all your amazing reviews- I appreciate them all so much ;)
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: August 14, 2008 11:51 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
This was flawless! The interaction between Briana dn Justin was amazing and the ending tied it up pefectly. Thanks so so so so much for writing it!!!!! My only regret is thaqt it's over ;-)
Author's Response: Thanks Cait! I'm kind of sad that it's over too, but I knew this was how I wanted the story to end- trusting to love ;) I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this story- thank you so much for reading, and for coming along on the ride. And thanks again for your wonderful comment- I appreciate it very much!
Reviewer: alys (Anonymous) · Date: August 14, 2008 09:52 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
Thank you for a beautiful story. You did indeed take me on a roller coaster a few times.
Author's Response: Thanks Alys! I'm glad you were along for the ride ;) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading, and for your much-loved review- I appreciate it so much!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2008 06:11 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
please excuse all bad spelling and grammar. it's too early in the morning here.
Author's Response: LOL! I have to be the world's worst speller, so I'm pretty immune to most spelling and grammar errors ;) I didn't even really notice :)
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2008 06:08 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
sapphire, you have done it again. this was magnificant. daphne and justin going over how they were and how they are now. there are just some things that only truly dear friends and lovers are privilaged to know about you. the outside world doesn't have to privy to it. to me justin's dream was a reveal of what could be if he didn't fight hard enough. but brian, man brian, “You’ll always have me, whether you’re in New York or Pittsburgh or Paris, whether you’re gone for a week or a decade or forever. You’re part of my life through design and default.” i see why he may have faulted himself. again it the protectiveness in him. i know he feels he let justin down the first time he went to NY. that he got to the point where the exhibit wasn't about winning, it was about living. it didn't matter if he won, for he already had. "Confident in the knowledge that, for love, he would survive." in my heart, he did win. everything, including man he always wanted and dreamed about.
Author's Response: There was a lot to this chapter, and I ended up rewriting it several times because I couldn't quite decide what I wanted to say. I knew I wanted the story to end the way it did (with Justin still recovering), but I also wanted there to be a promise of a 'happily ever after'. Your wonderful line about ' the exhibit not being about winning, but about living', makes me feel that I've achieved that goal... Thank you ;) I'm very pleased that you liked the 'dream scene', too. You know how much I love protective!Brian, and here he is at his best ;) Thank you so much for reading, as always, and for every one of your amazing reviews. They do mean so much to me ;)
Reviewer: Jess (Anonymous) · Date: August 14, 2008 05:15 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
Oh I definitely got caught up in the emotional rollercoaster more than a few times. And I loved it the whole way through. I think this chapter was one of my favorites, though. And I cried a little during the part where Brian was telling Justin he'd always have him. I could hear both of them saying those exact words so clearly. It was all so brilliant and beautifully written. You did such a great job with this, I loved every moment of it, and I'll be looking forward to your next fic, definitely.
Author's Response: Thanks Jess ;) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story, and that you were able to 'feel' all of the emotions- they were such an important part of the story. Thanks again for coming along for the ride- I'm so glad that you were reading! And thank you so much for your very wonderful review. It means a lot ;)
Reviewer: elvenfixation (Anonymous) · Date: August 14, 2008 03:09 PM · On: The Way To His Heart
I so love this story...I'm really sad to see it end. But thank you so much for taking us through this amazing, if often painful, journey.
Author's Response: Thanks ;) I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I was sort of sad to see it end as well, but I knew this was the way I wanted the story to close- trusting to love ;) Thanks again for coming along on the ride, I'm so pleased that you were reading! And thank you for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: July 31, 2008 04:09 AM · On: Snakes and Ladders
Wow!!! That was an intense chapter. I really hope that Justin does the right thing. Although it is going to be hard to do. Great writing as always. Please update again soon.
Author's Response: Thanks Tara ;) The decision Justin is faced with is an intense one, as going to New York could be be either really great for his recovery, or it could be a complete disaster. Both Brian and Jennifer bring up some really good arguments, but ultimatly, Justin will have to decide for himself... I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this chapter! I'll try and have the next one up as soon as I can. Thanks again for reading, and for all your wonderful reviews!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2008 03:26 AM · On: Snakes and Ladders
Another heartbreaking, equisit chapter. Each one more compelling than the last. I worry about Justin going to NY, but I agree, he has to go. Please update soon!
Author's Response: Going to New York could be the making or breaking of Justin's recovery- it's certainly a delicate decision, with huge pros and cons on both sides... I'm really glad you enjoyed it ;) I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible. Thanks so much for reading, and for your much-adored review!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: July 30, 2008 05:33 PM · On: Snakes and Ladders
what a decision he has to make. trust him or no. is justin really willing to risk everything? it seems it started out of loneliness, needing to control something. now he has control of his future, his painting. is it enough? of course brian will be in paris with him that week, but how offen will he be able to get to the city? right now it seems that it all boils down to a matter of trust. trusting justin enough to do the right thing for himself and the ones who love him.
Author's Response: It is a really, really hard decision for everyone involved. Justin wants to get on with his life, Jennifer wants him safe, and Brian wants him happy. At this point, those three fields don't necessarily overlap. And you're right in that it is all about trusting Justin- but this assumes Justin will be capable of identifying when he needs help. He's at a dangerous point in his recovery where he's ready to be 'set free', but anything could trigger a relapse... Anyway, thanks so much for reading, and thanks for your wonderful reveiw, as always ;)
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: July 30, 2008 01:18 PM · On: Snakes and Ladders
With so much progress hopefully Justin will see the good and not let that little voice win. Great chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: 'Not letting that little voice win' is the harest part- sometimes that voice isn't so little. Sometimes, Justin may not be able to tell the snakes from the ladders, either... Anyway, I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading, and for all your much-adored reviews!
Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: July 30, 2008 09:28 AM · On: Snakes and Ladders
I'm so happy to see that you have added an update to the story! Wow, this chapter was such an emotional rollercoaster. You can see the progress Justin has made and also how far he has to go. I'm so torn if I want him to go to NY, but Brian does have a point. If Justin does go, it will be his first real test on his own.
Author's Response: Thanks Kat! I'm so glad you enjoyed it (and sorry that it was so long in coming...). Justin has come a long was in his recovery, but he's at the perilous point now where anthing could trigger a relapse. The situation is difficult for Brian and Jennifer, too- Jennifer wants him safe, and Brian wants him happy. But ultimatly, it has to be Justin who makes the final decision... Thanks again for reading, and for all your wonderful reviews!
Reviewer: Jessica (Anonymous) · Date: July 22, 2008 06:38 AM · On: Like the First Time
Amazing story!! I can't wait for more, so keep up the fantastic work!! ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks!! I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story- I hope you'll like where it goes ;) Thank you so much for reading, and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: Alice (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2008 10:36 AM · On: Like the First Time
Wow...just the raw emotions that hit you as you're reading are enough to encourage one to keep reading. You have described Justin's struggle very well, to the point where it seems that you're not reading his movements nor feelings, but are actually there seeing him try to win the battle. Wonderful, bello, schön! [Hopefully that's the correct word, since my german vocabulary is extremely limited.] :D I feel that no language has the proper words to describe how great this story was written. Please keep writing and updating when time allows! ^^
P.S. Thanks to your writing skills my cousin has let me borrow MY computer as long as I let him read your stories. [Just wanted to let you know the immense power of your stories :D]
Author's Response: Thanks Alice ;) I'm glad you like the intensity of this story- anorexia is a very real and serious condition, and I've really tried to portray it with honesty and compassion. I'm totally impressed with your German, by the way ;) I'd love to learn it, but so far I only know about 30 words (including 'rattlesnake' and 'cell phone', which will get me a long way...). Anyway, I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story- your wonderful review means a lot to me ;) P.S.- I'm glad your cousin was generous enough to let you use your computer ;) I'm so happy that he's reading this too- I hope he's enjoying the story, as well ;)
Reviewer: Alice (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2008 10:19 AM · On: Like the First Time
Wow...just the raw emotions that hit you as you're reading are enough to encourage one to keep reading. You have described Justin's struggle very well, to the point where it seems that you're not reading his movements nor feelings, but are actually there seeing him try to win the battle. Wonderful, bello, schön! [Hopefully that's the correct word, since my german vocabulary is extremely limited.] :D I feel that no language has the proper words to describe how great this story was written. Please keep writing and updating when time allows! ^^
P.S. Thanks to your writing skills my cousin has let me borrow MY computer as long as I let him read your stories. [Just wanted to let you know the immense power of your stories :D]
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: July 17, 2008 09:31 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
So beautiful!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!
Reviewer: Jacky M (Anonymous) · Date: July 16, 2008 10:33 PM · On: Like the First Time
This is so moving, overwhelming and trustworthy - anyone can know that what they are reading isn't written for dramatic effect but from a place of truth and honest need to communicate what it feels like to have this terrible condition. Sapphire all praise to you. Love Jacky M
Author's Response: Thanks Jacky ;) I'm so glad you can appreciate the true significance of this story. I could never thank you enough for all your kindness and support, but I hope that you'll take my small note of gratitude to heart ;) It is an honour to have such amazing, dediacted readers (and friends) ;) Thanks again! Sapphire.
Reviewer: thess (Anonymous) · Date: July 16, 2008 09:46 AM · On: Like the First Time
So beautifully, passionately described how they love each other! Love it. Thanks for the update and hope you'll update ASAP.
Author's Response: I'm so happy that you enjoyed this chapter, and that you could 'feel' their love through the words ;) I'll try and have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Thank you so much for reading and for your much-adored comment!
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: July 16, 2008 08:57 AM · On: Like the First Time
................wow. That was amazing. The emotions were so strong. Wonderful wonderful wonderful job.
Author's Response: Thanks Jackie ;) I'm so pleased that you you enjoyed it, and that you could 'feel' everything (I decided to pull out all the stops and go nuts with the descriptions in this chapter ;) Thanks again for reading and for your very much-loved review!
Reviewer: Sigi (Anonymous) · Date: July 15, 2008 09:36 PM · On: Like the First Time
this was simply beautiful!!!!!
Author's Response: I'm very happy that you found it so ;) Thanks so much for reading, and for your much-loved review!
Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2008 08:48 PM · On: Like the First Time
OMG! What a chapter! This was so poetic, so beautiful, so Brian and Justin. I had to laugh when Brian told Justin they had only been home six minutes. LOL This was something they both needed, a healing for two. Brian was so gentle, sweet, caring and loving. Giving Justin everything he needed. And Justin gave it right back. Amazing!!
Author's Response: Thanks Kat! 'A healing for two'- what a beautiful way of putting it ;) That's excatly what it was- they both needed to find that peace in each other. (And, knowing Brian and Justin, they had to find it the moment they got back to the loft ;) I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks again for reading and for your wonderfu;l reveiw!
Reviewer: gerri (Anonymous) · Date: July 15, 2008 04:59 PM · On: Like the First Time
Now that was just so beautiful, so powerfully intense and demonstrating so much love, AHHHH!!!
Author's Response: Thanks- I'm glad you found it so meaningful (Love all those wonderful adjectives, by the way ;)) Im very pleased that you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your much-loved review!
Reviewer: Big J (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2008 12:02 PM · On: Like the First Time
I've just read this on LJ and am an emotional mess and thought I would leave you the same review here. I just collapsed in a puddle of drool. I didn't think your writing could get any better but this is beyond perfect. Brian leaving the lube etc in prep. for Justins' homecoming - guh!!! Their mental and physical connection is just stunningly moving/touching/incomparable. So many beautiful quotes. "He was whole and alive and back where he belonged; within this circle of love that enclosed the whole world, but that was only big enough for two." Just one of the many. I've run out of adjectives. "It wasn’t like the first time. This time was forever." Sob, sob.
Author's Response: *Gets a mop for the drool, and hands you a box of tissues* LOL! Thanks- I'm SO happy that you enjoyed this chapter (it was kind of a 'Sapphire Special' in terms of pulling out all the stops and waxing poetic in emotion description) Your reveiw is so awesome- it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :) I'm glad you found this chapter so emotional and meaningful. Thanks so much for reading and for all your very much-loved reviews!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2008 07:17 AM · On: Like the First Time
stunningly breath-taking. sapph so much emotion. “This isn’t like the first time,” Brian murmured against Justin’s skin, his lips just brushing against the boy’s ear. “Because this time I love you.” "And soaring above it all, he was aware of their powerful, unbreakable, infinite connection. The piece of Justin’s soul that belonged to Brian- the part that had been starved out by pain and fear and despair- slid back into its vacant place, completing him and making him whole again." thank you, sweetie.
Author's Response: Thanks ;) I'm glad you could 'feel' all the emotions (I sort of pulled all the stops out for this one and waxes poetic ;)) I'm so plesaed that you enjoyed this chapter! Thank again for reading, as always, and for all your much-loved reviews!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: July 15, 2008 06:41 AM · On: Like the First Time
Beautiful!!! That's all that needs to be said.
Author's Response: I'm so glad that you found it so ;) Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for all your much-adored reveiws!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2008 02:47 AM · On: Like the First Time
Hmmm....Nice to see Justin is feeling MUCH better. Need I say I totally loved this chapter? :-)
Author's Response: Yes, he Justin recovering rather nicely... ;) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks so much for reading and for all you much-loved reveiws!
Reviewer: welcome_earthling (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2008 11:21 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
Fantastic story! I haven't been in the QAF fic lately and then I come across this little gem :) I can safely say I haven't read a fic like this and it's really interesting. The characters are great, so much like the originals, but at the same time they have your own flare to them. I'm very interested to see how this story goes, keep up the good work
Author's Response: Thank you!! I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story and that you like the characters ;) I'm a big hurt/ comfort fic fan, and I descided to try this as a degression into something a little different. I'm very pleased that it interests you!! I hope you like where it goes ;) Thank you so much for reading, an for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: Big J (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2008 12:34 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
How did you sneak an update past me? I decided to check the reviews today to try to delete my duplicate and found an update. YAY!! and it's a happy one as well. Emmett is such a joy. He just always knows how to cheer people up. Happy that Justin is going home but he still has a long way to go. 'It wasn’t the bed that I missed,” Justin said with a grin, addressing the whole table, but still looking at Brian. “It was the company.”' And he was going to say.........? Loved this line. Brian telling him he was beatiful - oh guh.
Author's Response: I posted this at 3 o'clock in the morning which it may have slipped under the radar ;) I'm glad you liked the update! Did I mention that I love Emmett? Although it was never played out in canon, I always felt that he and Justin were close as friends. You're so right in that Justin does have a long way to go...but he has taken a significant step in his recovery. Glad you liked Brian's little bit of not-so-fluffy fluff at the end ;) I actually have a huge, huge favour to ask you... I update this story on my LJ at the same time as I post it here. As I’m still having issues with my reviews on MW (I appear to still be actively losing them) could I possibly ask you to leave comments on my LJ, as opposed to leaving reviews here? I’d just hate to lose feedback from someone whose option I value so much. Thanks!!!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2008 12:16 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
this was a wonderful chapter sapphire. for a moment there i thought that emmett was going to tell justin that he too had was an anorexic. how sad was the story he told. home, i think they can live with justin as an outpatient. “It wasn’t the bed that I missed,” Justin said with a grin, addressing the whole table, but still looking at Brian. “It was the company.” the most perfect thing he could say. well done honey, well done.
Author's Response: I don't think I could deal with Emmett being anorexic, too... I like angst, but not that much! Emmett's story was sad, but it put everything into perspective for Justin which was helpful for his recovery... Now he can go home with Brian and enjoy the 'company' ;) I'm glad you enjoyed it! Could I ask you a huge, huge favour? I’m still having issues with the reviews on MW and I appear to still be actively losing them. If possible, could I possibly ask you to leave comments on my LJ, as opposed to leaving reviews here? I’d just hate to lose feedback from someone whose option I value so much. Thanks!!!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: July 09, 2008 11:24 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
Great chapter. I see a turning point in all of this. I can't wait until Justin gets home. Although, I don't think that New York is the best thing for him.
Author's Response: Thanks Tara ;) Yes, this is a very significant step in Justin's recovery- but he's not out of the woods yet. After the strict regimes of the ED program the 'real world' can be both wonderfully liberating, but also counter-productive... But at least Justin gets to go home and be with Brian. It'll put a little more 'sunshine' into his life ;) Thanks again for reading, as always, and for your much-adored review!
Reviewer: Edela (Signed) · Date: July 09, 2008 08:24 AM · On: Eternal Sunshine
Thank you honey... You know what I mean I guess!
Author's Response: I do know what you mean ;) Thanks Edda! I'm glad this chapter was meaningful for you. Thank you so much for reading and for your much-loved review!
Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: July 09, 2008 03:58 AM · On: Eternal Sunshine
A wonderful chapter:) Thank you for writing:)
Author's Response: Thanks Anna! I'm so pleased that you've enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: July 08, 2008 08:09 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
This is great news and I am sure it will actually help as well, things are looking up, loving it.
Author's Response: Thanks Gerri! This is good news, in deed! Justin is still not out of the woods yet, but he has taken a significant step in his recovery. He's starting to let the sunshine back into his life ;) Thank you so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: emmakinney (Anonymous) · Date: July 08, 2008 05:41 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
Oh honey! I don't think you know how much I love this fic! This chapter had me smiling the whole way through, knowing that Justin is recovering and what Brian said in the bedroom was so fucking sweet, I almost cried. Emmett's story was fucking heartbreaking, but I'm so glad that it was a turning point for Justin. I actually cheered when I saw that there was an update! Can't wait for more, love, Emma xx
Author's Response: Thanks Emma ;) I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story! Glad that you like Brian's little bit of not-so-fluffy fluff at the end ;) Emmett's story was heart-breaking, but it did bring everything in perspective for Justin. I actually have a huge favour to ask you... I always update this story on my LJ before I put it up here. I’m still having issues with the reviews on MW and I appear to still be actively losing them. If possible, could I possibly ask you to leave comments on my LJ, as opposed to leaving reviews here? I’d just hate to lose feedback from someone whose option I value so much. Thanks again for reading- I do appriecte it so much!
Reviewer: Kaylee (Anonymous) · Date: July 08, 2008 04:15 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
Yay! Justin's getting better. I can't help but feel this New York thing is going to cause a lot of issues....
Author's Response: Thanks Kaylee! Yes, it is great that Justin is progressing so well in his recovery, but he still has a long way to go. Being back in the 'real world' can sometimes be counterproductive, and he'll need Brian there to keep him on tract (which is why the New York thing might cuase issues)... Thanks so much for your review! I did reply to your review on the last chapter, but it somehow got deleted :( I hope you get this one! Thanks again for reading!!!
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: July 08, 2008 01:46 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
Yay!! He gets to go home. Now's the big test. Hopefully being home with Brian will help. Great chapter . I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thanks Jackie! It is wonderful that Justin finally gets to go home, but you're right in that he's definatly not out of the woods yet. Being in the the 'real world' can be both liberating and counter-productive in recovery... I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for reading and for your much-adored review!
Reviewer: berrynutz (Signed) · Date: July 08, 2008 01:42 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
Another great chapter. Will be watching to see how Justin does as an out patient and what Brian's reaction will be when he finds out Justin is thinking of going back to New York.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so happy that you enjoyed this chapter ;) The 'real world', outside of the regimes of the ED program, could be both liberating and counterproductive for Justin, and he and Brian will have to think very seriously about Justin's plans to return to New York... Thanks for reading, as always, and for your much adored reviews!
Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: July 08, 2008 01:34 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
Oh bless our sweet Em and his colored socks! That was exactly what Justin needed! And how great that he gets to go home!! Another great chapter, I was sooooo excited to see you had added another one!
Author's Response: Thanks Kat ;) Need I mention that I'm a huge Emmett fan? Just when Justin needed the little bit of colour in his life :) I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful reveiw!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: July 08, 2008 01:00 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine
Yippppeee! Justin gets to go home! LOVED this chapter. Loved Em's interaction with Justin.. I'm up at 2 am, just to read this! lol Well worth it!
Author's Response: Thanks Gina ;) I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter! I've always been so interested in Justin and Emmett's relationship- althought it was never played out in canon, I got the feeling that they were pretty close as friends. ;) Glad you're a fellow night owl- I'm up at 3:45 am replying to reviews ;) Hee hee. Glad it was worth it!
Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: July 02, 2008 04:55 AM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
My heart constantly breaks for Justin, but you know he's a tiger and is gonna fight. And I love Brian being so loving and supportive, always knowing what his Sunshine needs! Can't wait to read the next chapter!! I also have to say the calories in cum line was funny! Only Brian and Justin!!
Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: July 02, 2008 04:54 AM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
My heart constantly breaks for Justin, but you know he's a tiger and is gonna fight. And I love Brian being so loving and supportive, always knowing what his Sunshine needs! Can't wait to read the next chapter!! I also have to say the calories in cum line was funny! Only Brian and Justin!!
Author's Response: *Hands you a heart repair kit* Sorry about those heartstrings ;) Justin is going through the hardest stage of his recovery in this chapter, but Brian was able to tell when it got a bit too much for him. He was also there to tell Justin that he was proud of him for fighting, and that he understood how hard this was for Justin. That understanding between them is so important. I'm really glad you liked the little bit of comic relief at the end of the chapter ;) Thank you so much for reading, and for your much-adored review!
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: July 02, 2008 01:34 AM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
I love this story so much. The heartfelt way you capture their love is so beautiful. I can't wait to read more!!!
Author's Response: Thanks Cait ;) I'm really very pleased that you're enjoying this story, and that you can 'feel' the emotions. I hope you like where it goes :) Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: Edela (Signed) · Date: July 01, 2008 09:02 PM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
Hi Sapphire! Good to have you back, I liked this chapter and I agreee with the last two comments. It was good. Justen needed this superfood and I´m sensing it will be slowly easier for him to eat from now on. Don´t get me wrong I'm only beeing sarcastic about ED on the surface. I have spend the last 20 years of my life dealing with... I'm better now than often but surely some days are a bit on the shit side. You are totally point on in Justin hating Debbies talk and the constant waching at the hospital. It is so much more beeing with those who make you feel relaxed and at the same time avoiding people and places that you can't deal with. <br>Sorry about this loooong comment^^ I just wanted to write this since chapter one because this story actually made me cry in the beginnig and I don't do that. I am so glat I only discovered this story when you had posted 4 chapters. It was distrbing enough to read it I would not have wanted to wait there in the beginnig.
Author's Response: Thanks Edda ;) I can tell from your comments that you know exactly what this story is all about. I do really feel for you- I spent a good chunk of my teenage years dealing with an ED as well. I wasn't sure I could write this story at first because I thought it would be too difficult to bring up all those painful memories. But I'm glad I did now- it helps to write about it ;) And rest assured, this story will have a happy ending- I wouldn't be writing it if it didn't (I'm a firm believer in happy endings ;)) Anyway, thank you SO much for your wonderful review! I do appreciate it very much ;) And thank you for reading, as always!
Reviewer: Gerri (Anonymous) · Date: July 01, 2008 07:45 PM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
Brian is being so supprtive by saying and doing all the right things. The calories in cum was fucking hilarious, well done.
Reviewer: Kaylee (Anonymous) · Date: July 01, 2008 12:29 PM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
I still love it! I'm glad Brian and Justin got a moment to themselves! I hope Justin gets better soon...Update quickly.
Reviewer: Amelia (Anonymous) · Date: July 01, 2008 11:30 AM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
Wait. The use of the title in the final sentence has me concerned. This isn't the final chapter, is it?
Reviewer: Amelia (Anonymous) · Date: July 01, 2008 11:30 AM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
Wait. The use of the title in the final sentence has me concerned. This isn't the final chapter, is it?
Author's Response: Ameila...would I do that to you? LOL! No, this is not the last chapter- there's a few more to go, so no worries :) Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your much-loved reviews!
Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: July 01, 2008 11:25 AM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
Brian is so great being there when Justin needs him, you can just imagine the women at the facility swooning when Brian enters lol
Author's Response: Thanks Sara ;) Brian really is such a huge part of Justin's recovery. The eating disorder program can cure Justin on the outside, but he needs Brian to help heal him on the inside... And yes, on a ward of entriely young woman, Brian would certainly turn some heads ;) Thanks again for reading and for your much-loved review!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: July 01, 2008 07:55 AM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War
Each chapter is more amazing than the last. I'm so happy Justin is winning this battle. So happy Brian is being so supportive. I am HOPING for a happy ending! If I haven't said it before, great, great job with this story!
Author's Response: Of course the ending will be happy- I’m a firm believer in happily ever afters. Or at least, happier ever afters ;) Justin is passing through the hardest part of his recovery in this chapter, but Brian is always there to be his pillar of strength. He’s as much a part of the recovery process as all the meds and the meals. I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you’re enjoying this story. It does mean a lot coming from you :) Thank you so much for reading and for you amazing review!
Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: June 25, 2008 04:23 AM · On: If You Need Me
Wow this is just intense! You can literally feel the emotions Brian and Justin are feeling. Looking forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Thanks Kat ;) I'm really glad you can 'feel' the emotions here- for me, they're really the driving force behiend this story. There is a lot of angst and the pain, but there's also hope and love in there, too ;) Thanks again for reading and for your very much adored review!
Reviewer: Kaylee (Anonymous) · Date: June 23, 2008 01:36 PM · On: If You Need Me
I don't remember if i reviewed this chapter yet or not, but if i havn't its a great chapter and i can't wait for the next one!
Author's Response: Thanks Kaylee ;) I'm so pleased that you've enjoyed this chapter! (I'll try not to keep you waiting too long for the next one...) Thanks again for reading and for your very much-adored review!
Reviewer: Sunny (Anonymous) · Date: June 20, 2008 02:51 PM · On: If You Need Me
I love this story from the first chapter on. Hugs, Sunny
Author's Response: Thanks Sunny ;) I'm so pleased that you do! Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful comments, as always!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: June 20, 2008 10:31 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
That was a wonderful chapter. The emotions were so raw and it was well written. I look forward to the next chapter
Author's Response: Thanks ;) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it! I'm glad you found the emotions raw and real, but not over the top. Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful review!!
Reviewer: Aimear (Anonymous) · Date: June 20, 2008 05:48 AM · On: If You Need Me
So beautifully written, the depth of pain and confusion being felt by Brian and Justin is nearly tangible. This is a fantastic story and I eagerly await how the plot develops
Author's Response: Thanks Aimear! I'm glad that you're enjoying this story and that you can 'feel' all of the emotions. This is certainly not an easy thing for Brian and Justin to go through. I hope you'll like where this story goes next. Thanks again for reading and for you're wonderful review!
Reviewer: Naima (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2008 11:44 PM · On: If You Need Me
jesus wheres a tissue when you need one. remarkable story, really wonderful, im so happy you are writing this. beautiful writing and characters, cant wait for whats next!
Author's Response: *Hands you a tissue* Thanks so much for this awesome reveiw, Naima ;) It made my day! I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story and that you like the writing style. Hope you'll like what's coming next. Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: gerri (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2008 07:49 PM · On: If You Need Me
It sounds so horrible for them, but I feel hope, thanks for the update, I love it.
Author's Response: Thanks Gerri ;) I'm glad you love this story, with all it's angst and heartbreak. I'm glad you can see there's hope here, too. Justin is strong enough to survive this. Thanks again for reading and for your always much-loved reviews!
Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2008 02:25 PM · On: If You Need Me
I feel so bad for Justin, hes so scared and upset, maybe if Brian stayed with him during meals atleast at first it might calm him abit
Author's Response: Justin is in a very difficult and painful position here, but it will get easier for him after a while. It's very fortunate that he has Jennifer and Brian there to provide loving support- that's so important in the recovery process. Thanks very much for reading and for your wonderful reveiw!!
Reviewer: Amelia (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2008 10:30 AM · On: If You Need Me
GREAT story. I check the site every day, just checking for an update on this story...
Author's Response: Thanks Amelia ;) Sorry to keep you waiting on this one- it's been very busy at my end lately. When the insanity that is currently my life has died down, I'll get back to posting a bit more regularly ;) I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story! Thanks again for reading and for your super awesome reviews!!
Reviewer: Edela (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2008 07:48 AM · On: If You Need Me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !! My heart jumped when I noticed there was another chapter !!
Author's Response: Thanks for the birthday wishes, Edda ;) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks so much for reading and for your much-adored reveiw!!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2008 05:26 AM · On: If You Need Me
My heart, my heart, my heart.... Such a great chapter. So moving. Don't worry about not updating quickly enough. This story is soooo worth the wait! Thank you, and happy birthday!
Author's Response: Thanks for the birthday wishes! Hope your heart is OK ;) I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, and that you thought it was worth the wait. (I'm waiting oh-so patiently for an update on your story...but no pressure. I'm sure it will be more than worth the wait :) Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful reviews! I love them all!
Reviewer: Sigi (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2008 05:15 AM · On: If You Need Me
great story.. and: Happy Birthday!
Author's Response: Thanks Sigi!!! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2008 05:01 AM · On: If You Need Me
First off Happy birthday! I hope you had a great day. You have a created a wonderful story and the way you've tapped into this disorder and still have the characters be themselves in amazing. Another great chapter. I hope that Justin will be able to overcome it and get better.
Author's Response: Thanks for the birthday wishes, Jackie! I'm really very pleased that you're enjoy this story, and that you're finding it realistic and ICC. And don't worry too much about Justin- I wouldn't be writing this if he didn't recover in the end ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2008 04:39 AM · On: If You Need Me
Thanks so much for the update and this beautiful story!!!! Happy birthday!
Author's Response: Thanks for the birthday wishes ;) I'm glad you enjoyed the update! Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2008 04:35 AM · On: If You Need Me
sapph, i hope your birthday is a happy one. this story is so heartbreaking. i hope it wasn't you that went through this. if so, then i applaude your for yur strength and bravery. it must have been extremly difficult for all involved.
Author's Response: Thanks for the birthday wishes- I had an awesome one ;) This is, unfortunately, in part my own story. And yes- it was extremely difficult and painful for everyone involved. I guess that’s what makes this story it’s so poignant and heartbreaking. But I’m finding that it’s helping to write about it…it sort of puts it into perspective. And I am enjoying it as well, which I guess is what matters ;) It’s great to have such wonderful support! Thanks so much for reading and for your amazing reviews, as always!
Reviewer: Sunny (Anonymous) · Date: June 06, 2008 09:34 PM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
WOW, I can`t say often enough how great this story is. I love the emotions - good and bad - all of them. You are doing a great job, please go on... Hugs, Sunny
Author's Response: Thanks Sunny!! I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story (despite the rampaging emotions ;)). And no worries- of course I'll go on. What can I say? I'm hooked, too ;) Thanks again for reading and for your much-adored comment!
Reviewer: Karen (Anonymous) · Date: June 05, 2008 01:41 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
This chapter was so heartbreaking and yet is so real and honest. I know I for one won't lose faith in Justin. Thanks and please update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks Karen! I'm very pleased that you find this story 'real and honest'...even if it is heartbreaking. I'm also glad you haven't lost faith in Justin (I know I haven't either ;)). Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful comment!
Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: June 03, 2008 10:17 PM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
A great chapter, thank you for writing:)
Author's Response: And thank you for reading, Anna ;) I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story! Thank again for this much-adored review!
Reviewer: gerri (Anonymous) · Date: June 03, 2008 08:45 PM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
I am as sad for Brian as I am for Justin, beautiful work.
Author's Response: Thanks gerri ;) I think I actually feel worse for Brian in this chapter- he's in such a difficult position and he loves Justin so much. But where Justin is is a really scary place to be as well. But they'll get through it together- as I said, this story is about hope and love ;) Thank you very much for reading and for all your wonderful reviews!
Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: June 03, 2008 07:46 PM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
This is truly incredible. I appreciate the insight into this horrible disease esp. in gay men. I read the previous review about the epidemic in this part of our society and hope that this story enlightens your readers the way it has me. This was heartbreaking but I think Justin has made an important step and poor Brian feeling so helpless but trying so hard. He's about to do a very difficult thing but only because he loves him so much.
Author's Response: I sometimes think this story is so angsty its almost unlike my writing. But I just can't write it any other way- there is nothing good or possitive about an eating disorder except surviving to see the end of it- living with the knowledge that you've had the strength to fight it an the grace to accept yourself for who you are. I would never had attempted this story if I didn't know from the begining that this was what Justin would discover at the end of the story. The fact that there is a 'silent' epidemic in young men now just makes me want to write this even more... I really do hope that through this story I can at least make people aware of it. Anyway, as for Justin and Brian...yes, the road is long and winding- but at least neither of them are travelling alone ;) Thank you so much for your reviews! They do mean a lot ;) ~Sapphire.
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: June 03, 2008 12:33 PM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
Justin's desperation just grabs the heart. Amazingly done. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thanks Jackie ;) This chapter tugged a bit at the heartstrings for me too, but I knew it had to be written. But things will get better for Justin and Brian (I know I keep saying that, but they will ;)) I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks so much for reading and for your always much-adored reviews!
Reviewer: jay corr (Anonymous) · Date: June 03, 2008 09:51 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
I am so glad that you are writing this story. For a writing class I had this past semester we were required to write a paper on the topic of our choice as long as it raised an issue. I originally was going to write about eating disorders among females but found it far more intense and necessary to write about male eating disorders. Learning the facts about it makes it heartbreaking to realize how many men let themselves hurt so badly. I myself was thinking about writing a story on this topic but wanted to do the situation justice so I never could start it. Its good to see that there are other people that want to raise the issue and makes sure that the topic is discussed and not discarded. Thank you for being able bring this issue out into the open.
Author's Response: Eating disorders are a very difficult and complicated issue to deal with. I find they’re such a delicate and painful subject for so many people- I think virtually everyone knows a girl or woman who’s had an eating disorder- if not themselves, a friend or a family member, then certainly an acquaintance. But you never hear about them in men, even though they are so prominent; it’s a silent epidemic. Knowing first hand how destructive and devastating an eating disorder can be, I can’t imagine how much worse it would be to have the added social and psychological connation associated with being male as well. It IS a huge issue and one that should be ‘brought out into the open’. If I can enlighten even a few people of it through this story, I might consider this to be one of the most important things I’ve ever written. I'm so glad you see it this way. Thank you very much for this review…it does mean a lot to me and it keeps me inspired ;) And sorry for the long response…I’m not very good at the ‘concise and to the point’ thing…hope you don’t mind ;) ~Sapphire.
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: June 03, 2008 08:20 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
Wonderful Chapeter!!! I must admit that I am a little touched that you took part of my review and put it into this chapter {smiles}. I certainly hope that Justin does not go into cardiac arrest. Although, given Justin's spurts of irrationality it would be good if Brian or Jennifer certified him. Please update soon. I was waiting on this and was happy to see it when I got home from work.
Author's Response: Thanks Tara:) I hope you didn't mind that I used part of your review- it was so relevant that I felt I had to put it in somewhere. And I knew I had it on the best authority ;) I felt like I should have cited you or something... '(TaraN, pers. comm., 2008)' ;) I did try to give you some credit for it, though :) And I really, really appreciated everything you told me, so thank again! I'm glad that your enjoying this story! Thanks so much for reading, and thanks for your awesome review. It's so helpful to know someone in your field ;) ~Sapphire
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: June 03, 2008 06:32 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
sapph, i am speechless. such an emotional chapter. i gather that from the doctor's own words her back story is that she at one time was anorexic also. "Please…take care of him…don’t let him suffer any more…" i agree.
Author's Response: It is an emotional chapter... I needed to get the kleenex out while I was writing it, too ;) And you did guess right about the doctor. As for Justin's...as it goes in the story, 'recovery is a journey of a million miles, but the hardest step to take is the first one'. It doesn't get easier, but it gets better- and in the end, it's worth every second of the fight. I'm so pleased that you like this story. Thanks again for reading and for all of your much-loved reviews!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: June 03, 2008 06:09 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
Heart-wrenching, and so beautifully written. This is one of the most soulful stories I've read in fanfic. Wonderful job. Thank you
Author's Response: And thank you for you wonderful reveiws! They keep me inspired ;) 'Soulful' is a such great description...I think it's been good for my soul to write this. Thank you so much for reading and for your amamzing reviews. I do appreciate them very much!
Reviewer: Naima (Signed) · Date: June 03, 2008 05:09 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul
beautiful chapter, i feel so bad for brian,,,,i cant wait for the next one!
Author's Response: Thanks Naima! I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it. Glad you're able to feel for Brian...he's in a really difficult position. Great job with 'Dirty Little Secret' BTW- I'm glad you're getting around to posting some of your fics here ;) Thanks again for reading and for your much-loved review!
Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: June 02, 2008 08:36 PM · On: Even If It Kills Me
I am finding the honesty of this fic refreshing. Ok Brian may seem a little OOC to sois, but I don't think so, we have all seen Brian's reactions to Justin hurt or in trouble and this si no diferent, well done.
Author's Response: Thanks gerri :) I'm glad you find Brian sort of ICC in this fic. I think with this story, it's not so much the character that's 'in character' but it's the love and understanding that is. If that makes any sense ;) But as I say, it's sometimes hard to judge. Thanks so much for reading and for all your wonderful comments!
Reviewer: Big J (Signed) · Date: May 26, 2008 11:36 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
Ohhhh, this was so incredible. I feel so sorry for both of them. Brian is trying so hard to rescue him and their sex life was always such a highlight of their relationship. I hope Justin starts to improve after this. At least he thinks he getting better so that might be an incentive for him to further help himself. Did I mention how heartbreaking this is?
Author's Response: Heartbreaking, yes. I feel that, too, and I'm the one writing it... But there is hope there as well. Brian hasn't lost sight of who Justin is inside, and that's the most important thing. I think I've said it before, but loving support is so essentail in the recovery process. Thank you so much for this wonderful review (and all your wonderful reviews!)- they keep me inspired :)
Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 05:38 PM · On: Even If It Kills Me
A beautiful chapter with raw emotions:) Thank you for writing:)
Author's Response: And thank you for reading! I do appreciate your review very much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Thanks again!
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 11:39 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
Congratulation!!! That is a wonderful story. I loved every single word so far and the way you can create emotions - just brilliant. I know that Justin and Brian will fight and win at the end supporting each other as always. I`m just a bit concerned about the reactions and interferences of the "family". I`m really looking forward to the next chapter. Please, don`t let us wait too long... Hugs, Sunny
Author's Response: Thanks Sunny!! I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story (and sorry it took so long to get back to this reveiw...) I think you're right in that 'the family' will be horrified when they find out, and that they may not understand at first. But Brian will be there to help Justin through it. Thanks again for reading and for your much-loved review!
Reviewer: thess (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 07:25 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
hope you will update ASAP!!! touching!!!! thanks
Author's Response: Hi Thess. I'll try to update ASAP. My life is a bit crazy at the minite, but I'll try my hardest to have the next chapter up within the next week or so. I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 07:05 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
great chapter, very emotional, I love how Brian is taking care of Justin
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 06:43 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
...Wow. The emotions are just so strong. You have done an amazing job of letting the reader feel what Brian and Justin are. Just a great chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thanks Jackie. I'm glad you were able to 'feel' it all- it's sometimes hard to describe what an ED feels like 'from the inside'. I'm very pleased that you're enjoying this fic and I hope you'll like where it goes. Thanks again for reading and for your much adored reviews!!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2008 06:18 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
this chapter was so riveting. as lost as justin is and brian feels, there is a light at the end of the long dark tunnel of desperation. slowly brian is getting his justin back. “That felt…like me,” Justin whispered, the smile getting just a tiny bit broader. “Me, Brian. Thank fuck. I’m still here inside somewhere.” i understand that it will take alot of hard work, tears and frustration, but they'll get through it and do it together.
Author's Response: Hey- I finally managed to read this comment and really loved it. Thank you. I think the most important thing in this chapter was Brian's (and Justin's) affirmation that he hadn't lost sight of who Justin really is. There's still hope- a 'light at the end of the tunnel', as you say. Thank you again for reading and for all your wonderful reviews. They make me want to keep writing ;)
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2008 05:54 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
You are doing an amazing job with this story. I don't thin B/J are ooc at all. I think this kind of disease brings out strenghts (and weakness) in people they never knew they had. Brian always gave Justin want he needed (or what he thought he needed) in the show and that is exactly what he is doing now. Justin needs all the love and attention Brian is giving him. He needs the words and the actions. I see Brian totally in character in this story. This chapter in particular was powerful. You describe not only the physical ramifications of the disease, but also the emotional. I believe with love and support, Justin will beat this thing. Your writing is so powerful and real. I'm totally invested. This is one of the most original and relevant B/J stories I've read. I applaud your efforts and your courage in taking this on.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! That really, really means a lot. I'm so glad you can see and feel everything I try to describe; it's sometimes quite difficult to explain what an ED feels like from the inside. But, as you've pointed out, the most important thing (for this story and in relaity) is that recovery is possible with firm, loving support. I can't tell you how pleased I am that you find this story so appealing; I do really, really appriecate your comments. Thank you!!!
Reviewer: alys (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 05:27 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
I think they seemed very in character. It reminds me kinda of the posse days when justin's preception was also kinda skewed. I thought it was beautiful that brian made love to justin, even though he was saddened by it. Excellant chapter, I like a forcefully but caring Brian.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Eating disorders can make you act and feel like a different person...it's always so important for people not to lose sight of who is truely at the centre of it. I'm glad you found the characters ICC ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your comment!
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: May 09, 2008 06:56 AM · On: Shades of Grey
Goodness. I'm pretty much speechless. Justin's pain and Brian's saddnes are both so real. Another great chapter. I cannot wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Yeah...writing this chapter was a pretty intense ride so I'm sure reading it must have been just as rocky. I know it seems a little angsty at the moment, but there really in now only one dirrection Justin can go. And Brian will make sure he gets there (even if he does have to pull Justin kicking a screaming through some parts). I'm so pleased that you're enjoying the ride on this emotional rollarcoaster. Thanks so much for reading and for your alwasy much-loved reviews!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: May 09, 2008 02:41 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
I think that this is a great story. I have a friend that is a practicing psychologist. She ocassionally does group therapy for people with eating disorders and told me that there is an epidemic among gay men (young gay men) in which anorexia and bulimia are an epidemic that is almost rivalling teenage girls. Many older gay men don't understand what is with the younger ones doing this to themselves. Particularly because the older ones lived through the AIDS epidemic and saw emaciated friends because of the disease. I am not sure if you realized this when you started the story. However, it is quite relevant to the times. In fact, my friends agency is starting a group that will cater to men with eating disorders. A lot of the guys were having problems with the issue because they didn't feel as comfortable in a group that had women. They are also hiring a male psychologist that has dealt with gay men on this issue. Ironically, he used to suffer from anorexia and he is a PhD student now. Sorry for the long comment, but I wanted to tell you how on point you are.
Author's Response: I LOVE this kind of comment! This feedback is so helpful- thank you! I started writing this story because I know from personal experience just how devastating an ED can be, but also how essential loving support is in the recovery process. This is why I thought it would make such a powerful and poignant hurt/comfort. And although I’ve had to convince a number of people very hard on this point, I think the post-513 Justin is a candidate for an eating disorder- he’s a high-achiever (citing his high SAT scores and his success in the PIFA) with a history of post-traumatic stress disorder (his bashing). He’s also been put through the emotional mill by Brian and Ethan, he was bullied in school, and his parents divorced when he was 17. From a body image point of view, he lived with Brian who was always fanatic about his weight, and (perhaps indivertibly) may have placed emphasis on the ‘thin is beautiful’ idea. Now Justin finds himself in New York with the added stress of having just left Brian, surrounded by new people and in a totally new situation. I can just see his need to feel in control of his life. I knew when I started writing this that EDs in men were becoming a huge issue, especially in the gay community. It must be so much harder for men because anorexia and bulimia are so often seen a ‘women’s issues’. It makes it that much harder for them to admit they have a problem (as if that isn’t hard enough. I think admitting to my parents that I had anorexia was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.) But it’s great to know that this issue has been recognized and that steps are now being taken to help young men with eating disorders. Thank you again for this wonderful review- the feedback is so awesome. I’m really glad you find this story relevant and realistic- that is actually a big comfort :) Your comments are always much-adored and always more than welcome. ~Sapphire.
Reviewer: Amelia (Anonymous) · Date: May 09, 2008 01:44 AM · On: Shades of Grey
Emotional rollercoaster? Funny you should say that, I just spent the whole day at Six Flags!! And apparently the ride isn't over! Great chapter! ...two weeks???
Author's Response: Is the ride ever over? ;) And it's not quite two weeks- it's ten days. I'll be writing it mentally as I slog up and down the badlands of Saskatchewan looking for fossils, so that when I come back, all I'll have to do is transfer the story into words. At least, that's the plan...Anyway, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chpater! And thank you so much for your review, as always!
Reviewer: Wildsweet_angel (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 09:48 PM · On: Shades of Grey
This fic is just awesome. Your description of Justin's pain, and his fear of losing control are just heart wrenching. This story is beautifully written and tastefully done. Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really very pleased that you're enjoying this story :) I know it is a bit angsty right now, but I'm hoping it will make the 'comfort' of hurt/comfort that much stronger. I'm also happy to hear that you find it tasteful- knowing from experience how delicate this topic can be, I'm trying to keep this as realistic and compassionate as possible. Thank you again for reading and for you most wonderful review!
Reviewer: emmakinney (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 08:33 PM · On: Shades of Grey
Oh my god, this is just great. My friend has suffered from anorexia for a couple of years and I really understand the loss of control. This chapter was great and I think it is quite true to their characters, definitely IC! I'm ad that it'll be two weeks until the next update but I'll be waiting patiently. Great job Hon, Emma xx
Author's Response: Hey Emma :) It's really good to hear from you! I'm so glad you think this story is realistic and IC. I have myself had an eating disorder which is how I know exactly what it feels like. But I also know how important loving support is in the recovery process and this is what I hope to make shine in this story. It's a bit of an emotional rollarcoaster for me, too, but I do enjoy writing it. I'll try to have the next update posted as soon as I can after I get back. Thanks so much for reading and for your much-adored review!
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 06:16 PM · On: Shades of Grey
Soooo good and sad adn wondeful! The next two weeks are going to be torture!!!! :-) I can't wait for the update
Author's Response: Don't worry- it's really only 10 days, and I'll be writing the story mentally the whole time. That way, when I sit down to write it next Monday, it will already be mostly written. Kind of. I'm very pleased you enjoyed this chapter- I know it seems a little angsty now, but things will get easier for our men. Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 06:13 PM · On: Shades of Grey
Loved your metaphors in the beginning of this chapter "the charcoal longing of regret, the shimmering silver of memory, the heavy lead-gray of concern..." beautiful This was the most amazing, beautiful, well crafted chapter I've had the pleasure to read. Please continue this amazing story. The premise is haunting and intriguing, and your writing brings everything to life. Thank you
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's so awesome to hear this from such an amazing writer like yourself :) I'm so glad you're finding this story interesting but also realistic. I know this is such a delicate topic and I'm trying to be very careful to keep it real and compassionate while also ICC. Thank you again for your wonderful review- it really does mean a lot :)
Reviewer: alys (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 02:20 PM · On: Shades of Grey
excellant. enjoy saskatchewan. hmmm maybe bri and J could go with you and find a great dr, get treatment away from the pitts... great chapter, will try and be patient... ;-)
Author's Response: I guess I could write a story about Brian and Justin sharing a 1 1/2 man backpacking tent in the middle of a thunderstorm, kissing passionatly in their soggy sleeping bags as they pull ticks out of each other (Did I mention I love field work?) ;) But yeah, I will certainlly be writing the next update in my head as I trek across the prairie (the good thing about Sask. is that you can never get lost- it's so flat you can walk for three days and still see the campsite ;) I'm very pleased you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 02:16 PM · On: Shades of Grey
OMG, yes, it was def. an emotional roller coaster and how dare you have a life. LOL!!! You can't make us wait 2 weeks for an update. I've been checking every day this week for one and was so pleased to see this. Poor, poor Justin. At least Brian is there to help and knows the truth now. His reaction was soooo touching. Hoping things improve for them. And the last bit where he wanted to hold him no matter what. Sigh! Counting the days till next time.
Author's Response: I'm sorry for my interfering life :) I promice I will be mentally writing this chapter next week as I dig up my dinosaurs (and hopefully find some more)- so when I go to write the update next Monday, it will sort of already be written. Kinda. I'll be good, I promice ;) And yes, this was certainly an emotional rollarcoaster- it felt like that when I was writing it. It's so hard for both Brian and Justin, but now they're both on the same page, they can deal with this together. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this! I hope you'll hold out long enough for the next update ;) Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 12:37 PM · On: Shades of Grey
This is sad but hopefully Brian will get through to Justin. I am looking forward to seeing how.
Author's Response: Brian will have to push Justin really hard but will have to be careful not to send him over the edge. It'll be a challange, but I have faith in our boys and thier love for one another :) I know it seems sad now, but it'll get happier (scout's honour). Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 08:51 AM · On: Shades of Grey
Brian saying he wanted to hold Justin because he was his sunshine and it didnt matter how much there was of him and he will be there holding his hand was so beautiful and sweet
Author's Response: Yeah- I think the most important thing in helping someone recover from an ED is remembering that they are still themselves on the inside. Brian never lost sight of Justin, and that will be of huge comfort to him as they struggle through this. Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 07:11 AM · On: Shades of Grey
"Although I try and avoid ‘angst for angst sake’, I do have to admit that this chapter is a little heavy on the emotional side. " ya think? OMG! for brian to be shaken that badly you know it must be bad. will be here waiting in two weeks.
Author's Response: Yeah...I guess that was a bit of an understatement. Believe me, by the time I'd finished writing this, I felt as if I'd written the whole Encylopaedia Britanica single-handedly. It's difficult because it's painful for Brian and Justin, but for different reason and it has to seem real on both sides. But yes, as I said, there are happier times on the horizon- difficult, but happier. I will be mentally writing the next chapter next week while I am sleeping in my little tent trying to ignore the roaring of the mosquitoes ;) Thanks so much for your reveiw, as always!
Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2008 12:15 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
I stumbled upon your fics checking on other writers and this is so sad but so well described I think I will have to check out anything else you have written. Oh and Brian will help alright, just after he kills him.
Author's Response: Thanks :) This story is a bit of a departure for me because it is so dark (at first). I hestitated a long time over writing it because I was concerned about the delicate nature of the topic, and because some may see it as OCC for Justin to develop an eating disorder (I don't think it is, but others would disagree). But I think it has so much potential as a hurt/ comfort- for both Brian and Justin. So I decided to go with it...even if it did feel as if I was dropping an A-bomb. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: May 01, 2008 01:18 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
WHAT A GREAT START TO THIS STORY!!!! You have me hooked. As you know, I like your writing. Please update real soon.
Author's Response: Thanks Tara :) I'm glad you think this is a promising start. I hesitated over writing this for so many reasons (namely because of the delicate nature of the subject dealt with), but I decided to go with it. 'Gently', as Brian would say. I'm really glad you're interested in this story. Thanks so much for reading, as always, and thank you for your much adored review!
Reviewer: Ashley (Anonymous) · Date: May 01, 2008 12:31 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
OMG! This story is so dramatic! I can't wait for chater two. I really hope Brian does somthing. My poor heart hurts just thinking about Brian's reaction.
Author's Response: Yes, it will be very difficult for them both- this is certainly not an easy thing to deal with. I'm so glad your insterested in the story! Thanks so much for reading and for your reveiw!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: April 30, 2008 08:32 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
I love your writing, and your word usage. This story is heartbreaking, and very real. I'm glad you are tackling this delicate subject. I look forward to seeing how you handle it, and where'll you'll take the characters. Great first chapter
Author's Response: Thanks. This is the first time I've achtually tried writing in third person, so the writing style is a bit of a departure for me. Yes, this is a very delicate, very real and very sensitive subject. I hesitated over writing this story for a long time for that reason. But I think if it's handled with care it could be a make a powerful, if somewhat poignant, hurt/comfort fic. I think the hardes thing is keeping the characters ICC, but I'll do my best. Thanks for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: black sheep (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 05:28 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
what a wonderful start to what seems like it will be a great story.
Author's Response: Thanks- I'm glad you think so :) I know the subject is a little sensitive, but I think the story has a lot of potentail. Thanks for reading and for your comment!
Reviewer: Magda (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 12:50 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
I just love your stories. The first chapter is greatm I'm already in love with this one too and can't wait for more ^^ btw, it was nice to see my real name in fanfic with Brian and Justin lol Magda (aka Madlen)
Author's Response: Thanks Magda :) The character Magda in my story actually based on a tall, willowy blonde of the same name from a book by Jacquline Wilson (her books are written for teenagers, but my little sister had the whole collection). I've never acutally met anyone who was actually called Magda before now. Cool! Anyway, I'm very pleased you're enjoying this story so far. I know it seems a little angsty at this point, but I promice it won't always be. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 12:07 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
This seems like an interesting story:) I can't wait for the next chapter
Author's Response: Thanks; I'm glad you think so. I know the subject is sensitve and I know many people would see this as OCC for Justin, but I personally disagree (I'm doing the best I can to keep him in character). Anyway, I'm really glad you're interested. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 10:11 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
You really know how to get to me. Poor Justin. Being someone who loves food and can never skip a meal I really don't understand this disease. Looking at it from Justin's POV gives me an insight into it. It's all about control over some part of his life. Hopefully Brian can at least start to help him. Can't wait for the next chapter. And you have taken a compassionate look at it.
Author's Response: Thanks- I'm glad you think so. I unfortunatly have an intimate understanding of this illness which made writing this story a bit challanging. But I also know how much loving support is paramount to a successful recovery. I know the story seems a little angsty now, but I can promice a happier ending ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your much-adored comment!
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