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Midnight Whispers
QAF Fanfiction - Brian and Justin - SSL Encrypted
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Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2019 07:32 PM · On: The Way To His Heart

good one



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you enjoyed this story :-) Writing it meant a lot to me personally. Thanks so much for reading and for your reviews!

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2019 07:11 PM · On: Snakes and Ladders

why did stupid Jennifer bring Justin that letter

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2018 01:58 PM · On: The Way To His Heart

This was a story of survival and with the help of Brian in others Justin did. 



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reading, and for all of your wonderful reviews! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story and found it moving. Thanks again for reading and for your comments. I apprecaite it so much :-)

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2018 01:20 PM · On: Snakes and Ladders

We all want Justin to be happy.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2018 03:52 AM · On: Like the First Time

Things are improving.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2018 05:18 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine

Love how Emmett was the one to bring color back into his life.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2018 04:30 PM · On: Losing the Battle, Winning the War

When will everyone realize that it's not about weight but control.  Is it possible to find something he can control as a start to recovery?

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2018 02:33 PM · On: If You Need Me

Knowing Brian isn't going to run away from this should help make things easier for Justin.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2018 02:07 AM · On: Broken Wings, Unbroken Soul

The sadness in this chapter is unmistakeable.  Brian is going to need help.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2018 01:49 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me

Leaving Justin alone right now might not be an option.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2018 01:39 AM · On: Shades of Grey

Will going back to Pittsburgh help.  Having Brian with him will, but having no control, I'm not sure.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2018 01:02 AM · On: Dark Secret Love

Now that you've written this I can actually see it happening this way. Hopefully Brian can help.

Reviewer: cullengirl08 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2018 01:34 AM · On: The Way To His Heart

This was an amazing story from start to finish, and definitely one of my favorites.   



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reading, and my apologies for the delay in getting back to all of your wonderful reviews. I'm really glad you enjoyed this story; it has a very personal meaning for me as the author, and part of the point was to communicate the misconceptions around eating disorders. I am thrilled that you count it among your favourites :-)

Reviewer: Happy Gamma (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2018 03:34 AM · On: The Way To His Heart

I decided to wait until the end to review again.  What an amazing story so well written about such a terrible illness.  You did such a good job getting the reader's emotion involved with your words.  I am off to read What a Wonderful Life next.  On a personal note, years ago I went to a fitness center for a couple years.  A girl showed up one day looking like what you wrote about.  She was beyond skinny, all skin & bones and she exercised like a fiend.  Everyone was so concerned, but she really was a stranger to us.  She just got thinner and thinner.  One day when I got there, her picture and obituary were posted on the bulletin board.  She was 18 years old.  As I read this incredible story, I could see her so clearly.  So happy that Justin didn't end the way she did.



Author's Response:

I'm glad you enjoyed this story, and thought it was poignant. As I said, it is by far the hardest thing I've ever written because - as you may have guessed - it's based on personal experience. Few people can fully comprehend how an eating disorder can destroy a life, and how they aren't about food or body image. It's basically a deadly manifestation of an obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's also not well-known that anorexia is by far the most deadly mental illness, with a mortality rate of 10%. As a teenager, I was that girl in your fitness centre, but I was fortunate enough to be forced into treatment, as Justin was in this story. I hoped that, with this story, I could help to elucidate the realities of eating disorders. The stigma that is still attached to them prevents many people who might try and get help from actually doing so...

Reviewer: Happy Gamma (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2018 03:27 AM · On: Shades of Grey

WOW. what a powerful story and chapter.  I can't stop crying.



Author's Response:

Yeah, it's pretty unapologetic. This story is by far the hardest things I've ever written. I'm glad you thought it was powerful. Thanks so much for reading!

Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2016 10:16 AM · On: The Way To His Heart

Such a powerful and empowering story. I am old enough to remember when eating disorders were beginning to be taken seriously as a cry for help. Those suffering from ED as well as society need to become educated. In order to get to the root of why a person tries to starve or eat themselves to death, you have to find out what is eating them. 



Author's Response:

I'm really glad you enjoyed this story, and found it meaningful and empowering. As you may have been able to tell, this is partly a true story. My own story, actually. There is still a lot of stigma around eating disorders that are untrue, possibly the biggest one being that EDs are about food and weight. They aren't. They are mental illnesses like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder that sometimes arise for reasons that have nothing to do with body image. Usually it has to do with a need for control, and it can completely tear a life apart. People also don't always realize that EDs kill - anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness (10%). There is still a heavy emphasis in our society around weight and food, mainly because of the obesity epidemic. I still don't think EDs get the recognition they need, but things are certainly improving. 

Reviewer: nickknack (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2016 11:41 AM · On: The Way To His Heart

Wow, this was so gut-wrenching and emotional. I sympathise with all those who have struggled with this relentless and overwhelming illness. I love that you dealt with this so openly and compassionately, especially in allowing Brian to be so supportive of the man he loves. Very provoking.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you found this story realistic and thought-provoking. Eating disorders are often misunderstood, seen as the whims of teenaged girls, rather than the potentially life-threatening mental illnesses that they are. Anorexia in particular has a 10% mortality rate. EDs are rampant in our society, but the stigma attached to them is so strong that many people don't seek help. This story was kind of my way of bringing the reality of on ED forward, and to challenge some of the stereotypes. Again, I'm so thrilled you appreciated it :-)

Reviewer: misseshermionemalfoy (Signed) · Date: October 25, 2015 05:23 AM · On: The Way To His Heart

This was really beautiful and made all the right statements about how eating diorders are NOT a choice. I'm so glad you wrote this. 



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you read it :-) Yes, one of the intentions of this story was to dispell some ED myths. Telling someone with an ED to 'just eat' is like telling someone with depression to 'just cheer up'. EDs have such a stingma in our society that people seem to have forgotten that they are serious, life-threatening illnesses, and not some kind of radical diet. With the obesity epidemic, I feel soceity has also lost sight of the fact that the other extreme continues to be a huge problem for many people, especally those who feel they have to suffer in silence. Thanks again for reading and for your review!

Reviewer: misseshermionemalfoy (Signed) · Date: October 25, 2015 02:00 AM · On: Dark Secret Love

This is really powerful. I don't see people writing about eating disoders much but you've written accurately about them so far. It's a rough subject to write about but I'm glad you didn't disconnect the eating disorder and depression. 



Author's Response:

I'm so glad that you found this story poignant and powerful. It was a tough subject to write about, especially as it's written from experince. I found there was so much people didn't understand about eating disorders, like the complusive need to lie about food and exercise, and how isolating that can be. It would have been impossible to write about an ED and not write about depression in some form. It is a terrible thing to be trapped inside. Thanks for reading and for your review!

Reviewer: Frances (Signed) · Date: October 14, 2015 12:35 AM · On: The Way To His Heart

Wonderful story.  Heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time.  Thank you for sharing.



Author's Response:

Thanks Frances :-) I'm glad you enjoyed this story, although I know it can be hard to read in places - it is a very real story, but with real undertones of hope. Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review. I really appreciate it!

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 02, 2013 12:56 AM · On: The Way To His Heart

I just…I don’t want to have to choose between them. That’s what tore me apart when I left here last year. I just had no control over what I wanted, and that’s when the anorexia started. I wanted you and I wanted my art, but I couldn’t have both.”

I would be lying to say I fully understand anorexia just I don't fully understand overeating and I'm not sure if the two are related in any way. I have witnessed and taken care of both in my profession but only treating the physical aspects of them. I remember movie of the week and afternoon specials when I was younger about anorexia, but nothing really stands out to me. Ilso remember people whispering around me and smetimes asking me point blank if I had an eating disorder. I was only 88lbs when I married my husband. I remember my gynecologist telling me I was underwieight. I remember how I would work out more if I felt my thighs were too large, even at that weight. I had a body image problem. It was never an eating disorder. I can't begin to understand what anyone with that disorder goes through.

I will read your anoxia stories on both Brian and Justin again. I'm determined to understand more. I'm just stubborn like that, LOL.

Author's Response:

LOL! I'm glad you are stubborn about that ;-) It really is a very complicated disorder - each case is as unique as the person who has it. Although poor body image or low self-esteem can be the trigger for an eating disorder, is it (as far as I understand at least) seldom even the cause. The confusion and the misconceptions come when people only see the symptoms (i.e. weight loss etc.) and assume there is nothing more than that. As far as I'm concerned, eating (whether it is not eating or over eating) is only the most obvious symptom of a driving, obsessional need to control. It's not a consequence  that many victims of eating disorders are high-achievers and perfectionists who avoid failure at all costs. The irrational but compelling idea is that failure can be avoided through control. Does that makes sense? Like I said, it can be complicated. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story a second time through. I'm so glad you saw things this time that you hadn't seen before. And thank you again for all of your wonderful and insightful comments. They all mean so much *hugs*

 

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2013 11:58 PM · On: Snakes and Ladders

Okay, not Europe, but New york. Time to eat breakfast, LOL.

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2013 11:54 PM · On: Snakes and Ladders

"...his gaze focused on a small sparrow..."

I understand that there is no true cure for anorexia -- that it is a battle that will go on for the rest of one's life. And if that is truly the case, I can understand Jennifer's reluctance in allowing Justin to leave for Europe, but like Brian pointed out, he wouldn't be happy. And itsn't the crux of the matter in the first place?

Now, I have racked my little brain, but I cannot figure out the significance of the sparrows.

Author's Response:

LOL! The sparrow is just me being elusively poetic ;-) The sparrow is just basically Brian suddenly realizing the complexities of life, and how huge and detailed it can all seem somehow - even when looking at something as unassuming as a little bird. As for Jennifer and Justin... it is true that there is no 'cure' for an eating disorders, but people do recover from them. They just learn to deal with and confront the obsessions, until they no longer hold any power over them. What I do know for a fact is that a person has to *want* to get better - there is no way in hell recovery will happen otherwise. And I think that a big part of wanting to get better is being happy and stable - that's why Brian wants Justin to go to New York...

Thanks again for reading, as always, and for all your lovely comments :-)

 

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2013 02:11 PM · On: Like the First Time

"And soaring above it all, he was aware of their powerful, unbreakable, infinite connection."

I'm glad I read this again. You don't get the full effect of this with the mechanical voice of a e-reader.
This was intense.Their love making could not have been like the first time.

I trying to convey my thoughts here but my virus is making me a little woozy, so bear with me, LOL.

"Love was the most powerful weapon and the most protective shield."

Maybe if Justin had never left Brian behind for New York the anorexia never would have happened? Brian was such an integral part of him.

Hmm, I always thougth Brian did love Justin that very first night, hence the juggling and hand stands. But you also pointed out that "This time, Brian believed in love."

Loved this chapter!

Author's Response:

I'm so glad you loved this chapter, and that you found the love making was intense and meaningful. So *not* like the first time... I think you're right in that Justin may never have developed the illness had he never left New York. It is true that most people who have or have had anorexia are predisposed to it, by virtue of their past, their genetics or the personalities. Bit it typically needs a trigger. Justin's trigger would have been leaving Brian - any big, life change can be a significant trigger. It's interesting what you say about Brian's handstands and juggling being a sign that he loved Justin. I've never thought of it that way before - I always just assumed his antics were because he was high. Huh. Interesting idea...

Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for all your insightful comments. *hugs*

 

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: January 01, 2013 01:45 PM · On: Eternal Sunshine

"He sometimes forgot that this was Brian’s war as much as it was his own.'

It was only five weeks? It seems like it would have taken longer for the treatment. Maybe Justin did so well because he wasn't fighting only for himself.

I loved Emmett and those socks more than the story he told.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

That was such a heartfelt moment. Loved it.

Author's Response:

Thanks Sandra :-)

The treatment does take longer than five weeks - it takes years and years. When a person is admitted to hospital for anorexia, they can only treat the most immediate and life-threatening symptoms like starvation. The initial weight gain can happen surprisingly fast once the person starts eating again, but it's the dangerous, obsessive thoughts and the resistance to the treatment that can take years to recover from. The test of time is always the hardest.

I'm really glad you liked Emmett in this chapter - I just loved him after I'd finished writing it. I can see Emmett being profoundly affected by Trudy's tragic story. 

So glad you enjoyed this chapter - thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful and insightful comments :-)

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