OK, I decided to do this in Word and then transfer over so I could keep a running commentary on all the things I liked. Sorry if it runs a bit long but so did your story ;) Why on earth didn’t you just split it up?
Ok first off, great job! Well written, fast paced, fun to read. Loved the many scenes and lines from Ever After incorporated in. I did my own version of Cinderella which went on quite a bit longer and was Queer as Folk based. Called Cinderfella and is on here somewhere. I did an Ever After homage as well with the judgment scene and the step-folk getting dragged away and almost sold. I love Ever After! One of the best versions of Cinderella out there, I could almost see it working out like that if there ever was an event that the story was based on. One of the funniest parts of that film is the glaring anachronism that runs through the entire film and yet is completely ignorable. It’s supposed to take place in France and yet everyone speaks perfect and even cultured English! (Except M. Pepe Le Pew near the end)
I discovered this with the line: (in the movie mind you, yours is great) You are the Crown Prince of France!
And in a perfectly cultured English accent, Henry answers: And it is MY LIFE!!! LOLOL
Fun fact: Did you know there was a mistranslation in the story and the french word for glass was supposed to be fur. So Cinderella was supposed to have had fur slippers…not glass.
Anyway back to the story: I love how you chose Castiel to be the Cinderfella. It even rhymes with Danielle…Loved it!
Loved the Dean/Castiel pairing. I can’t really see that working out canon because they’re both so butch but….they were lost in purgatory/the forest together at the end of this last season. OK, that’s the smallest of spoilers for the rest of yu out there but I won t say how or why they are there. But still….mmmmm…lost in forest-y goodness…..sounds like another fairy tale romance opening to me!
Love mazes so loved the idea they had their alone time in the middle of the hedge maze.
Just reached the hint that Sam and Gabe will be hooking up. My first thought was ewwwww! But just because I remember Gabriel to be a rather odious character on the show. Hope it s better here.
Loving how you still keep the brother’s closeness from the show intact.
You wrote Bobby in perfectly! Who’d you lose now, idjit! I nearly had a conniption laughing!
The horse Impala! Awesome!
OK, just finished the Sam/ Gabe marriage scene. Flawlessly and heartwarmingly done.
Loved the rescue scene from the sold into slavery situation. I m glad Drew was able to rescue herself in the movie and female empowerment and all that but there did need a good fight scene there. Act….thinking back I think they did clash knives there for a but but yu know what I mean… a good whackem, punching, swords the whole 9 yards and Le Pew needed to diiiieee!
OK, a few times here, you have made the typo and written in Dean as Dena. I’ll show you where I found them…It was just a couple of times though.
When they reached the dais, both Dena and Castiel bowed to the royal members standing on the dais. King John indicted that they should kneel.
Taking Dean by surprise, Castiel canted his hips up in time with Dena’s next thrust.
I’ve reached the judgment scene….I’m all a twitter…..Going great so far…ohh but hon….it was: there are a lot of people out of tongue…not town. Since no one’s speaking. OK back to the action….
And Finished…Was perfect and awesome and the ending as well. Bravo!! <Applauds madly>