Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2013 12:51 AM · On: Chapter 2
Interesting presents all around. This was truly a perfect Christmas.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2013 12:45 AM · On: Chapter 1
It looks like you've given them all a lovely start at Christmas. Brian and Justin have Gus, Ben and Michael have JR. Everyone else has each other and no one is alone.
Reviewer: DavidR (Signed) · Date: December 24, 2010 11:28 AM · On: Chapter 2
Nice going. I know it takes time and effort to write a story.
I suggest for your next story you have someone proof read it. It
is amazing how they see error that we, writers, don’t.
However, your creativity is terrific. I chuckled that Brian
gave Justin art supplies – and – “a pair of black fluffy handcuffs.”
So typical of Brain Kinney.
Thanks for the story.
DavidR
Author's Response: thanks for the comment happy christmas
yeah grammar aint my strong point
Reviewer: sophie's mom (Anonymous) · Date: December 24, 2010 08:01 AM · On: Chapter 2
adorable story.
Author's Response: thank you have a nice christmas
Reviewer: jm c (Signed) · Date: December 24, 2010 06:24 AM · On: Chapter 2
great story i can not wait to read more of this wonderful story
i am glad brian married justin in this amazing story
i look forward to reading the next chapter of this wonderful christmas story
marry christmas to you and great job writting this story
Author's Response: thanks i'm glad you enjoyed it
Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: December 24, 2010 06:24 AM · On: Chapter 2
Grammar isn't a big deal. I'm still learning the finer points of it in English and it's my native language too. The important thing is you're writing. Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you as well.
Author's Response: i'm taking a break from writing
but i'm starting a new fic in the new year its called the angel who stole the devils heart
Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: December 24, 2010 05:46 AM · On: Chapter 2
Very nice imagination and Christmas spirit here.
Author's Response: thanks for your comments always welcome
grammar aint my strong point have a nice christmas
Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: December 24, 2010 05:41 AM · On: Chapter 1
Kind of hard to read with the grammar so the Grammar Nazi in me has to come out of his closet :) Mainly you don't special line each character's lines.
For example:
”What the fuck is going on in here?””Brian I’m trying to do the food. Careful you’ll get your tie in the cranberry sauce.””Pity i wanted to get stuck in your sauce he said making a play for his husband.”Brian later I’m covered in food.””Good i can lick it off.”
Now read it this way:
”What the fuck is going on in here?”
”Brian I’m trying to do the food. Careful you’ll get your tie in the cranberry sauce.”
”Pity I wanted to get stuck in your sauce" he said making a play for his husband.
”Brian later I’m covered in food.”
”Good i can lick it off.”
That's the right way to do it. Each new character speaking gets a line break.
Reviewer: sophie's mom (Anonymous) · Date: December 23, 2010 07:29 AM · On: Chapter 1
holiday cheer abounds. yay.
Author's Response: thanks for the comment have a nice christmas
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