Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2019 12:46 PM · On: Epilogue

Love it

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2010 01:38 PM · On: Chapter 19

Good story line. Still too many commas. That's the Grammar Nazi in me coming out :)



Author's Response:

Thank you very much for commenting, and forgive me for not answering earlier, but, as they say, better late than never...

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2010 01:31 PM · On: Chapter 18

The grammar is much better, you still put spaces before your ? symbols. Don't do that! You forgot a few periods . but not that bad. All in all this is much better. You're improving.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 08:14 AM · On: Chapter 18

:)



Author's Response:

Does :) mean you're ok with it ?

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 08:10 AM · On: Chapter 17

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 08:04 AM · On: Chapter 16

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 07:59 AM · On: Chapter 15

Brian outing Justin to his parents? So out of character indeed.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 07:12 AM · On: Chapter 14

You have quite the imagination :)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 07:09 AM · On: Chapter 13

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 06:59 AM · On: Chapter 12

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 06:53 AM · On: Chapter 11

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 06:48 AM · On: Chapter 10

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 06:22 AM · On: Chapter 9

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 06:16 AM · On: Chapter 8

It seems you have established Anton is it, and Chris as the villans of your tale. Way too many ! marks. None of the places you put them deserved them there.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 05:41 AM · On: Chapter 7

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 05:28 AM · On: Chapter 6

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 05:20 AM · On: Chapter 5

:)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 04:35 AM · On: Chapter 4

! ?  Never use double punuation marks. You really need to check out the changes I did to chapter 2 and then go repair your chapters.

:)



Author's Response:

I will, thank you

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 04:29 AM · On: Chapter 3

:)



Author's Response:

??

 

Sometimes I don't give comments but only a :) face and give you the review hit.

bob

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 04:17 AM · On: Chapter 2

Too many grammar errors in this chapter to count. Go back and read this chapter; I beta'd it for you. You forgot many periods (.) at the end of a sentence. You used way too many (!) exlamation points. Good writers might use an ! once every 10,000 words. Don't make spaces before punucation marks. You had way too many commas (,) in your chapter that I removed.

Only use a comma perhaps after: and, but, or; or if you want a pause in the reading. Imagine it is like a person talking out loud. If the sentence flows better don't use a comma there. You want the reading to flow like it was being said out loud. If you need to break a sentence into two parts without it being a 'and', 'but', or an 'or'; use the semi-colon (;) symbol to do that.

Keep all quotes from the same character in the same paragraph; even if you have a discriptive break between quotes.

I can't beta your entire story but this chapter will show you your major mistakes.



Author's Response:

Thank you very much indeed for all your advice. Where can I read the beta'd chapter ?

It is Chapter 2 of your story published on Midnight Whispers.

I went into your story text box and did the editing it needed and published it with the corrections.

bob

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 03:40 AM · On: Chapter 1

You don't need spaces before a punuation mark; that's awkward.

Very rarely use an exlamation mark (!).

Good writing otherwise. Time like 7:30 is written like that for most readers. Watch too for extra spaces in some places. Over all the grammar is good.



Author's Response:

And wha about the plot ? Don't you find it too silly or incoherent ?

The plot is coherent and fun.

bob

Reviewer: balrogtweety (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2010 05:29 AM · On: Epilogue

This was a great story.  Loved how it was written and how  thiings came together for the two lovers.  Well done!!!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much

Ptitprof

Reviewer: balrogtweety (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2010 03:21 AM · On: Chapter 1

This is intriguing.  Great start!!!

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2010 10:24 PM · On: Chapter 13

Still planning to read your story. Been busy as a two legged cat in a sand box with website matters. I had to remove the .gif video banner as it was causing some readers to have their computers freeze up. I removed them all. Broke my heart too.

After I get some sleep I do plan to read this. I have it bookmarked to get to it.

bob



Author's Response:

Fine ! Can't wait for your opinion.

Sylvie

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2010 03:54 AM · On: Epilogue

I'll try to read it tonight



Author's Response:

Thanks

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 13, 2010 07:02 AM · On: Epilogue

I hope my litte gift is fitting for the story :)

UPDATE: Had to take down the gif video as it stopped some folks from loading the page.



Author's Response:

That's wonderful !! Thank you soooo much ... By the way, have you read my fic ?? if so, how do you like it ? Be honest, your opinion will be greatly valued !!

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: June 12, 2010 02:59 AM · On: Epilogue

well done.

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2010 04:41 AM · On: Chapter 21

lovely.

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: June 07, 2010 01:34 AM · On: Chapter 20

i don't know who justin has in mind for chris, but chris has to get over justin first. where has anton gone?



Author's Response:

You'll maybe find out in chapter 21? The end is near, anyway? As for Chris, I doubt now Justin has anyone still in mind for him, but who knows...

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: June 05, 2010 11:53 PM · On: Chapter 19

glad everything turned out well for them. sweet ending.



Author's Response:

Not finished yet...

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: June 01, 2010 05:48 AM · On: Chapter 18

ooh can't wait for the next chaapter. so glad justin was still there.



Author's Response:

Be patient, tonight, maybe...

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 31, 2010 04:52 AM · On: Chapter 17

poor justin. brian is too hurt to see him right now. maybe he can get ben to talk to brian for him.



Author's Response:

Well, Ben will be involved... It was your last comment  which inspired me the end of this chapter, with Brian refusing to see usstin, by the way. Thank you for that

Reviewer: Lorie (Signed) · Date: May 31, 2010 03:27 AM · On: Chapter 17

Please don't keep them apart.

Author's Response:

I wouldn't worry about that ...trust me...

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 29, 2010 11:01 PM · On: Chapter 16

thankfully david and anita were there. how will brian handle justin. he'll be so angry i suppose.

yes i like this story.



Author's Response:

Thank you . Well, as far as Brian and justin are concerned, you'll se about that tomorrow, normally

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 29, 2010 05:45 AM · On: Chapter 15

i'm glad the police are going after anton.

i feel bad for brian and it's all anton's fault. justin believed he pictures. how wrong is that. jennifer was not nice to him and mariaq was no help.

i hope someone finds him in the river alive.



Author's Response:

how did you like this chapter ?

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 25, 2010 07:46 PM · On: Chapter 12

WOW.... if Brian is going to remain in jail till the end of the story.... I will wait until the story is complete to finish reading it..... Thanks.....



Author's Response:

 He might indeed. Who knows ... ?

Thanks for being supportive

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 25, 2010 06:44 AM · On: Chapter 12

I am glad that Brian has some people on his side....  Lindsay sounds like a good lawyer.. together with Ben and Daphne they should be able to find out what really happened....



Author's Response:

Yes, they will, eventually... But not before many, many chapters, don't worry !!

Reviewer: Lorie (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 08:34 PM · On: Chapter 11

My stomach is in knots. Please fix this fast.

Author's Response:

Actually, i'm setting to the task right now. Should be online theis evening.

Thanks for your support

Reviewer: dphysh (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 07:01 PM · On: Chapter 11

EEEEEEEEK . . . .AUGHHHHHH! . . . . AAARRRGGGGHHHH!! NOOOOOOOO! Fix this soon please!! More please soon! :0



Author's Response:

Ok, Ok, don't panic, tonight !! (hopefully ...) Thank you for your support. Much appreciatec

Reviewer: cherub68 (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 05:36 PM · On: Chapter 11

Well,lets hope that the police find some incriminating evidence but doesn't look promising. Justin doesn't wonder who and why he was sent photos? Can't wait to see how this unravels.



Author's Response:

You'll get more of it tonight, hopefully...

Thanks for your kind support

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 02:07 AM · On: Chapter 11

It looks like Anton has won.... Brian is in jail for murder and Justin doesn't want to see him anymore.... I hope Ben can help... because it doesn't look good for either of them....  



Author's Response:

Who knows ? Wait and see..;

Reviewer: Carlly (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 01:27 AM · On: Chapter 1

Please post again soon.  I really love this story and can't wait to see what happens.  Poor Brian & Justin



Author's Response:

I'll ty and post agian tomorrow.Thank you for being so supportive

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 12:08 AM · On: Chapter 11

i think what happened to brian sucked. how will he get out of it?



Author's Response:

wait, and you will know. i know, I am evil...

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2010 06:15 PM · On: Chapter 10

OMG... I can't believe that psycho Anton would actually kill someone  just to make Brian look guilty... how is Brian going to explain what happened to the police???  I can't wait to see what happens next.... one question what exactly is a fortnight??  Thanks...



Author's Response:

A fortnight is a period of two weeks. or so was I told at chool, when I was leraning English... But you never knw, with all those old and decrepit teacher, do you ...?

The followong chapter should be coming up tonight

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2010 04:36 AM · On: Chapter 10

omg brian's in big trouble now.

are jennifer and craig in on it too?



Author's Response:

Yes, they will, of course, but later on. Be patient ...

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2010 07:09 AM · On: Chapter 9

It looks as though Anton has everything all planned on how to ruin Brian and Justin... hopefully one of them will figure it out ...before it's too late ...



Author's Response:

Well, I wouldn't bet on that... But don't worry, I'm sure all will end well for the boys...

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2010 06:39 AM · On: Chapter 9

first comes love then comes trouble.



Author's Response:

They're not aware on that, yet, so let them enjoy bliss..

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2010 07:04 AM · On: Chapter 8

i'm so proud of brian. making breakfast before taking him to school.

daphne and her imagination. justin wasn't very nice to chris. now he made an enemy.

anton and chris. omg what a pair that's going to go after brian.

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2010 04:21 AM · On: Chapter 8

OMG... don't tell me... crazy Anton and Chris are getting together to cause trouble for Justin and Brian...  I hope no one gets badly hurt....



Author's Response:

Well, that was predictable, but don't worry, I'll try and make thins end well for the boys

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2010 04:01 AM · On: Chapter 7

Don't worry no one will get mad at you... for not posting everynight... lol... as long as you actually complete the story at some point and not leave everyone waiting for an ending.....  Thanks...



Author's Response:

Don't worry, I will, and don't you worry either, I won't.

Thanks

Reviewer: Lorie (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2010 03:33 AM · On: Chapter 8

Please don't let Brian or Justin get hurt. Great writing.

Author's Response:

They may get into some trouble, but I shouldn't worry for them.

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2010 05:58 AM · On: Chapter 7

beautifully done. love this brian, so caring and tender.



Author's Response:

Thank you ! I've actually just rewritten the end of the chapter; Hope I'll be able to update pretty soon

Reviewer: Lorie (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2010 01:26 AM · On: Chapter 1

No, Brian is not too sweet. I love stories where he is sweet and caring. If you watch him in the show, he seems more relaxed and natural when he is like that. Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response:

Chapter's seven' s online.

Reviewer: roseguel (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2010 12:26 AM · On: Chapter 6

how can you stop here??? :-)) rose



Author's Response:

I guess it's just because I want to play with your nerves !! :-))

Don't worry, chapter 7 is coming pretty soon, maybe this evening.

Thank you for your support

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2010 06:58 PM · On: Chapter 6

WOW.... I love that Brian is being so gentle and sweet with Justin... he wants to make his first time special.... it's great that Brian's parents are OK with him being gay.... but... I think Justin will have a big problem when his father finds out..... 



Author's Response:

I think he might have a rough time with it, indeed...

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2010 06:44 PM · On: Chapter 5

I am glad they fired Anton for what he did...but... it seems as if he will cause problems for Brian and Justin.... off to read the rest.....



Author's Response:

Good guess !!

Reviewer: Sling (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2010 05:02 PM · On: Chapter 6

This is evil *grin* 

Reviewer: Sling (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2010 04:49 PM · On: Chapter 1

Sorry that I'm just writing but I slept at my new place and there I don't have any internet but now I'm back ;) 
Updating My master the undead? Yes I will do it. I couldn't write for a while now because I got my hand injured but now it's finally getting better

I'd love to be you beta. Your story is really great. Just send me a mail to tina.schoenhold@gmail.com 

I'm off to read the new chap now ;)
Hugs



Author's Response:

Thank you very much. That's very nice of you. I'll try and write chapter 7 this evening, and then I'll e- mail it to you. Can I send it on a Microsoft Word file ?

 

Please, contact me trough my MW account, and I'll write back, so that you can get my mail. Idon't want to post it in the reviews.

 

Later

Reviewer: Lorie (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2010 08:22 AM · On: Chapter 1

I really like this story. It's very sweet.

(not bedfall - it's either bed time or nightfall) Just please update soon, I don't care what you call it.

Author's Response:

Thank you for teh vocabulary lesson ! I wasn't quite sure which term to choose...

Do you think Brian is to sweet ? If so, just tell me, I can re -write this part.

Waiting to read you soon

 

Ptitprof

 

 

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2010 06:17 AM · On: Chapter 6

what happened to daphne? she'll think something happened to justin.

well it does but that's for the next chapter. i do like how patient brian is with him.



Author's Response:

Well, actually,Justin had jus told dher he wanted to get a cab abd go back home, so I do think sh"ll assume he's alraight

Reviewer: Sling (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 11:02 PM · On: Chapter 1

Awesome ^^ I'm off to read it 



Author's Response:

I posted chapter 6 yesterday evening, and I would like you to read it, and give me your oinion, since you seem to be a confirmed writer. I do like your stuff. What about updating "My master the Undead", by the    way ?

I was considering asking you to be my beta - reader, since it's the first fiction I've ever written and I don't want to mess it all up. Some bits are tricky. Just think about it, and let me know. (Won't bear you any grudge if you don't want to,, don't worry !)

I intend to update tonight

Later

Ptitprof

Reviewer: carlou (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 10:20 PM · On: Chapter 5

I just love where this story is going and I want more,good job.



Author's Response:

Thank you ! Im really glad you're enyoing it ! Don't worry, the end is not near

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 10:16 PM · On: Chapter 5

anton is trouble. brian is so understanding. hope they meet again soon.



Author's Response:

Well, don't worry, they will...

Reviewer: Sling (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 05:49 PM · On: Chapter 1

Hey ;) 
Well then it will be my time as well ;) Am not from the US. I'm german so we're in the same time zone *yaih* ^^ 
I guess I'll have to wait then 
hugs



Author's Response:

Well, I guess that's your lucky day ! Chapter 5 is now online, and ill try and post chapter 6 this evening

Reviewer: Sling (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 01:57 PM · On: Chapter 4

This one sounds interesting ;) Hope it's Brian who comes to Justin's rescue 
Please udpate soon again

Hugs



Author's Response:

Well, Ihope I'll be able to update tonight (French time) so that you guys in The States get it at bedfall (is that hte proper expression ?), and then another chpater(hopefully tomorrow evening)

Thanks for showing so much interest in this little fantasy of mine

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 10:05 AM · On: Chapter 4

WOW.... Brian to the rescue...lol....   I can't wait to see what happens's next...



Author's Response:

Well, let's hope I can write an extra couple of chapters today and/ or tomorrow.

 

Thabk you so much for your support !

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 09:57 AM · On: Chapter 2

Amazing... Justin never realized that his Uncle Vic was also gay... it's great to know there is someone to turn to if he has any questions... Uncle Vic was one of my favorites on QAF... I wish they would have shown him more often... Thanks.. 



Author's Response:

My pleasure ! Thanks for being supportive. I'm glad you enjoy reading that

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 07:16 AM · On: Chapter 1

Great start... off to read next chapter...



Author's Response:

Well, I aim to please , and i'm really having fun writing that ! 

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 04:42 AM · On: Chapter 4

anton is so going to get it. i'm hoping it was brian who rushed it.



Author's Response:

Don't you worry about that, he'll get his chance...

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2010 02:34 AM · On: Chapter 3

well he met him now all that's left if for brian to switch places with anton.

vic as his uncle is perfect.



Author's Response:

Coming soon, be patient, the plot thickens

Thank you so much for supporting me !

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2010 10:21 PM · On: Chapter 2

can't wait for the first meeting of him and brian.

love the concept of the story.



Author's Response:

You'll have to wait till chapter four for that !

Thank you for encouraging me ! That's nice of you 

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2010 11:20 AM · On: Chapter 1

i like.



Author's Response:

Well, I'm so glad you like this fic ! I'll try and update it this evening (in France), so, hopefully you'll be able to read it tomorrow, if you happen to live in The States.

 

Have a nice day

 

Ptitprof

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