Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Reviewer: Leather Cuff (Signed) · Date: March 14, 2019 01:39 PM · On: Chapter 1

So it's 2019 now but I came to QaF and related fanfiction very late, only a couple of years ago. I've read a tonne of fiction since but I'm pretty picky about the quality of stuff I read and this is up there with the best. Everything about it felt authentic and you captured their characters so well. Hats off to your excellent skill... It even made me cry, and I'm sure it will remain with me for a long time to come. Thank you. Going to go on to discover more of your fiction now... 

Reviewer: landlady_4rent (Signed) · Date: October 24, 2017 09:46 PM · On: Epilogue

Omg! I read this story in a few nights. Something told me NOT to read the epilogue. I did. I've been crying my eyes out all night. I even had to take a nerve pill. Lol. I was so upset, still am. It is so beautifully written. I just thought Brian would be okay. Stupid of me, I guess. This is the 2nd death fic I ever read. I'm destroyed right now. But, you wrote a gem of a story. Loved everything about it, even Kevin. Thank you. You have a talent to get the emotions go ing. Fantastic read. Hugs! Annie


Reviewer: Flo3241 (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2017 06:13 AM · On: Epilogue

This was absolutely heartbreaking! You got me bawling my eyes out on my night shift in the staff room. I knew this was gonna happen so, I could have avoided reading the epilogue but, I still read. Cause I love angsty stuff. i think I might have even read this before years ago. 

Anyways, just wanted to say Superb writing! 

Reviewer: rukia12 (Anonymous) · Date: May 02, 2016 12:44 PM · On: Epilogue

oh mon dieu c'est vraiment triste pour une histoire de qaf. je suis trop triste je regrette d'avoir lu l'épilogue

Reviewer: nickknack (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2016 12:43 PM · On: Epilogue

I almost didn't read this epilogue because I knew it would leave me crying and I wasn't wrong. But it was a fitting end to a beautiful, romantic and heartwrenching story.

Reviewer: Frances (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2015 05:20 AM · On: Epilogue

I really enjoyed this story even though it made me cry several times, and even though I adore Justin, I want to kick his butt for cutting off contact with Brian for 10 years!!!  But I get it... and their love is so beautiful.  Thank you for sharing, even though it's hard to know that Brian died... but realistically, that's what would have happened.

Reviewer: arakiss (Anonymous) · Date: December 04, 2013 05:39 PM · On: Epilogue

Well. I definitely hate death fictions :( The only reason I did read this one is by mistake, I didn't see the warning....
Jesus ... I can't thank you enough... It's breathtaking, extremely sad and comforting at the same time...
Thank you!!!

Reviewer: Lyra (Anonymous) · Date: March 22, 2013 03:03 PM · On: Epilogue

Yours was a story I didn't expect ever to read, I dodn't usually read sad endings, but this story was worth every second.

Reviewer: Blanca (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2013 10:58 PM · On: Epilogue

You made me cry with this one! :(:(:(

Nicely Done!!! So Emotional!!!

Reviewer: cricrijolie (Anonymous) · Date: February 16, 2013 02:26 PM · On: Epilogue

wow...this is my first fic with a major character death and I'm glad it was this one, done wiit quality, taste and love. I did cried the whole epilogue, but I finished it with a smile. Their love is eternal, and they deserved those last years together. Thanks for this beautiful story...but now, I'm going back to fics with no more major character death, not sure my heart can deal with another one ;)

Reviewer: chandrika (Anonymous) · Date: February 04, 2013 01:32 AM · On: Chapter 1

thank you for sharing this story

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: February 03, 2013 02:11 PM · On: Chapter 4

With Advance AIDS you fell like you're on fire just below the skin so touching is painful.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: February 03, 2013 01:52 PM · On: Chapter 3

We got pass that crisis. Brian could have taken another direction and we would be entering the Major Angst Twilight Zone.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: February 03, 2013 01:44 PM · On: Chapter 2

I know this is a story but most of us live very well with HIV today due to the amazing meds they have. Give me HIV over Hep C anyday. That said; there are drug resistant AIDS/HIV strains that can't be treated very well.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: February 03, 2013 01:36 PM · On: Chapter 1

Well, this is a disease I have a few clues about.

Reviewer: Bksbracelet (Anonymous) · Date: February 02, 2013 04:08 AM · On: Epilogue

Omg what a wonderful series I have loved every chapter I was so engrossed in it I did not realise until I read the extra chapter it had ended. I cried through the last one. It was beautifully written thanks so much xxChris

Reviewer: NoChaser (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2013 10:13 PM · On: Epilogue

Oh, Lord... This has long been one of my favorite fics, as well as one of my *favorites* fics.

So many people shy away from the angst of death and dying ficton, especially in this fandom, but when it is as well done as it is in this particular story, it is so damned humanizing and equalizing and, yes, sometimes even paralyzing...

This painful/beautiful/hopeful/crushing/loving story of three men struggling with their individual and shared demons and angels is well deserving of the blue ribbon it has, as well as being feature of the month.

To those of us who have lived long enough to have lost many friends and family, some even to this particularly heinous disease, the encompassing and enduring love you shine through is appreciated. 


Reviewer: Al (Anonymous) · Date: February 01, 2013 02:43 AM · On: Epilogue

Wow! Tear jerker from beginning to end. Sad yet a great story. Great work!

Reviewer: wellreadbunny (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2013 12:30 AM · On: Epilogue

That was really good , and sad. I'm glad Brian didn't hate Justin. Sometimes it is so hard to forgive someone, even if they weren't trying to hurt you.

Reviewer: kim136 (Anonymous) · Date: January 31, 2013 04:48 PM · On: Epilogue

i liked the story i cryed it a very good story thanku  kim

Reviewer: Carol (Anonymous) · Date: January 31, 2013 04:15 PM · On: Chapter 1

The poignancy of this tale lingers well after its finished ... I m heartbroken... again! (read it first time round)...you truly are a talented writer.. I m loving friction too ... It's the update I look out for.

Reviewer: BigPaw (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2013 01:03 PM · On: Epilogue

Congratulations on being chosen as Story of the Month. I can't believe I missed this story while it was being written. It is a wonderful heart wrenching tale. I was so captured by it I had to read it one sitting.

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2013 10:03 AM · On: Epilogue

Again, this broke my heart.   So sad, so well written. Though I HATE reading stories like this, when they are this well presented, I have to and my heart breaks.

I will be looking for more of your work soon!

Thanks for writing and sharing this.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: January 23, 2013 08:04 AM · On: Epilogue

Awarded Blue Ribbon Featured Status. Will be the monthly featured story for Feb.

Reviewer: Sisa (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2013 11:15 PM · On: Chapter 1

Just finished this and still wiping away my tears. Very sad but very beautifull. Great fic. I like Justin strugling with his decision to cut Brian all Pitts family but still loving Brian.

Reviewer: Akasha (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 04:17 PM · On: Chapter 1

I`m sitting here crying.... such a beautiful Story!!!!!

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 08:56 AM · On: Chapter 15

Im gonna stop here,this will be my ending this time. I loved it alot ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 08:50 AM · On: Chapter 14

I love this story alot ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 08:45 AM · On: Chapter 13

I loved how the ending in this chapter is. Justin knew without words Brian loved him back,or loves him back I should say ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 08:34 AM · On: Chapter 12

I loved the hangover movie,great chapter darling ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 08:25 AM · On: Chapter 11

I love this chapter so much darling ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 08:03 AM · On: Chapter 10

Oh I remember where he went hehe ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 07:51 AM · On: Chapter 9

I love how this chapter ended ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 07:40 AM · On: Chapter 8

Oh crap!!! ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: Jane (Anonymous) · Date: January 19, 2013 06:24 AM · On: Epilogue

sad, but awesome to read.  Thank you for sharing!

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 04:12 AM · On: Chapter 7

That is so beautiful,I mean the way that last line is,it made me smile ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 02:50 AM · On: Chapter 6

I'm crying like a baby ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 02:37 AM · On: Chapter 5

Gus is so grown up,I love your Gus ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 02:27 AM · On: Chapter 4

Great story ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 02:15 AM · On: Chapter 3

This is one of my fave stories ~ Yvonne xx

Ps,Its very painful to read but sometimes I love that

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 02:09 AM · On: Chapter 2

So painful to read,even after reading it like five times already ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: yvonnereid (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2013 02:05 AM · On: Chapter 1

I am rereading this,its so sad but brilliantly written ~ Yvonne xx

Reviewer: BritinGuslover (Anonymous) · Date: June 30, 2012 07:13 AM · On: Epilogue

Such a beautiful and sad story. 

I did wish we had more interactions with Hunter, Ben, Ted, and Emmett. 




Reviewer: a (Anonymous) · Date: February 29, 2012 07:51 AM · On: Epilogue

thank you for a beautiful story

Reviewer: ForeverBossy26 (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2012 06:52 PM · On: Epilogue

AMAZING, the optional I should have held off on, especially after that beautiful ending but I don't regret it, definitely adding this to my favorites.

Reviewer: mightye (Signed) · Date: November 11, 2010 08:08 AM · On: Epilogue

it was a beautiful story, and honestly the epilogue was amazing....i would have given then a couple more years for the romantic in me but it was the perfect ending no matter what...i loved it...the way you wrote Gus throughout the story was beautiful, and how you managed to make those 10 years matter but not matter at the same time was amazing...

you are a very talented writer...and your story is perhaps one of the best stories i have read in the fandom because while filled with angs,drama,love it was also poignantly real and human....great job in capturing the essence of Brian and Justin!


Reviewer: Kellydeer (Anonymous) · Date: September 23, 2010 02:30 AM · On: Chapter 1

I am having a very hard time writing this review (as I can barely see thru the tears in my eyes). OMG!!! How heartbreakingly bittersweet.  I can honestly say, I have never cried from reading a fanfic before and I am still sobbing like a baby & it ain't pretty crying either.

You are a wonderful author and I can only encourage you to continue to write more B/J fiction. Only...not so much of a tear-jerker next time.

Will keep checking back to see if you post anything new in the coming months. Thank you so much for this wonderful story!

Reviewer: jason (Anonymous) · Date: August 14, 2010 01:29 AM · On: Epilogue

i just thought i'd write a review for this heartbreaking story.  my cousin died of aids at 44, so this story really hit home for me.  my friend brian who is an avid mw reader turned me onto this site and particularly this story.  i shed more than a million tears reading it.  you are an amazing writer.  it was poignant, funny, sad and educating all at the same time.  it's very hard on all who go through this disease, the person fighting it and their family, friends and especially their partners.  god bless you for sharing.  it is a cleansing breath for all involved. lty

Reviewer: jacknalecsmom (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2010 10:24 AM · On: Epilogue

Oh my god! This made me cry like a baby! A true tragic romance. You stayed true to Brian and Justin and it was beautifully sad. Amazing...

Reviewer: Jade (Anonymous) · Date: July 18, 2010 07:53 PM · On: Epilogue

I almost didn't read the epilogue. I loved this story - it seemed the perfect length. Nothing was dragged out too long and brushed over, and it left me satisfied. But eventually I decided to read it anyway. It made me cry - hard - and made my throat ache like you wouldn't believe, but it was worth it. Just so well written. Wonderful story.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2010 09:18 AM · On: Epilogue

Wow what an ending. Very well written and packed with emotion. Loved Justin in this story. Gus was also adorable. Thank you for writing it.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2010 09:17 AM · On: Chapter 15

Excellent chapter

Reviewer: dzmom (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2010 02:43 AM · On: Epilogue

Oh! That was...damn I don't have words.

Reviewer: Jasmine (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2010 06:33 AM · On: Epilogue

Wow!! What  a heartbreaking ending to a beautiful story! I started not to read the Epilogue but I'm so glad that I did...This story made me laugh and cry! I can't wait for more of your stories.

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 06, 2010 12:25 AM · On: Epilogue

wonderful touching ending.

in my little dream world he lived a fullfilling life with justin til he grew old.

i don't think brian would kick his ass for not finding someone else. sadly i think it would take justin a long long time to do so.

hate to see this go. hopefully your next story will have them happy and together for years to come.

Reviewer: Ryu_Katanna (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2010 06:28 PM · On: Epilogue

I just wanted to tell you what a great job I think you have done with this fic. I absolutly adore it. You have given a realistic portrail of what could have happened in the series. It is rare that I review for anyone as a lot of the time I do not find anything that merrits it, but I have found Too Deep For Healing to be a delightful exception. From the first few paragraphs I was hooked. Most never have I cried due to a story, but yours is one of the very few. I cried through the whole thing! I just wanted to tell you that I think this is indeed a lovely and very sad story. I''m glad you have written it for all of us readers out here.



Reviewer: Hotesse (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2010 03:17 PM · On: Epilogue

Those three deserved more time together :(

I believe in life after death and ofcourse they will meet again but it still hurts... alot.

Reviewer: deansamrek (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2010 02:09 PM · On: Epilogue

Awesome story , thanks for sharing with us

Reviewer: Hotesse (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2010 02:11 AM · On: Chapter 15

Hi there,

I just wanted to give you my best thanks for writing this fantastic story, I started it last night and then i couldn't help my self and finished what you have posted so far at work today. You are one hell of a writer, that's for sure!

I'm so happy that things are going better and they have found their happiness and Brian's health again. I hope the story is not finished... it's a treat to read your work!

<3 Edda


Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 04, 2010 11:05 AM · On: Chapter 15

now is time for living. sweet chapter.

Reviewer: Jasmine (Anonymous) · Date: April 21, 2010 02:52 AM · On: Chapter 14

I read this whole story in one sitting and fell absolutely in love with it!! Your writing is so powerful and I just love the teenaged Gus. I'm so glad that you didn't make Michael a jerk (he's not my favorite character) but someone who was afraid and doesn't want to come between Brian or Justin. I love that you show the vunerablity of each of these characters that we've come to love. Please update soon and keep up the good work.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2010 02:45 PM · On: Chapter 14

Very interesting and fun chapter to read. Glad he doesn't tell Brian about talking to Michael; hope Michael keeps his mouth shut about it too. Brian doesn't need the memories.

I have a friend who had AIDS: 159,000 viral load, and 125 T-Cell count when determined with Thrush, wasting, and flu like symptoms.  That was seven years ago. Today he's undetectable, with a 1400 T cell count. The meds are wonderful. He's fat and happy.

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2010 10:56 AM · On: Chapter 14

nice chapter. i'm not sure not telling brian about talking with michael is such a good idea, but right now whatever works i guess.

moving into the house...together, about friggin' time.

Reviewer: shimayo (Anonymous) · Date: April 13, 2010 04:55 AM · On: Chapter 13

Very good and well written story.

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: April 12, 2010 12:31 PM · On: Chapter 13

well that was certainly an eye opener.

wonder what ever gave michael the idea that he's so much better than everyone else. still the same after ten years. he can be happy and live his life the way he wants, but brian isn't allowed unless he approves. what a bastard he still is.

 brian has to tell why he turned to heroine. i don't understand it either.

if they couldn't stop thinking of each other, why did neither one call?

Author's Response:

Interesting questions. Well, this isn't an anti-Michael fic, and he isn't trying to be a judgemental prick (though we all know he can be at times), he was just trying to look out for Brian. What he realized during this chapter is that he hurt Brian too, so that's why he backed off and apologized. I'm not totally sure yet if I'll be going more in depth into Brian's heroin use or if I'll leave it to the imaginations of the readers. There are a few scenarios I've been playing with, but I haven't decided yet. And as for your last question, Brian didn't call Justin because after Justin left, he wouldn't answer Brian's calls or remain in touch with him in any way. After that, he gave up. He did think of Justin and even go to New York just to make sure Justin was happy, but he didn't call because he assumed (by Justin's actions), that he wanted to move on without Brian, so he respected his wishes. Justin, as we've learned in the fic, has pretty flimsy excuses as to why he never called Brian even though he was still in love with him. Once he'd broken all ties for awhile, he thought it was too late to fix it. They both did eventually get on with their lives for the most part (ie. Kevin, Brendan, and Travis), but they were always on each other's minds. I hope this helps! Thanks for reading/commenting!

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 12, 2010 09:30 AM · On: Chapter 13

Wonderful chapter; so happy you posted an update. Love how the plot is going. Will Michael be trouble in the future? Looking forward to more.

Author's Response:

No, Micahel will not be causing any trouble. In his own way, he's trying to look out for Brian so he's not hurt again, but then realizes in the chapter that he also hurt Brian by leaving. We'll see a little more of Michael soon, but rest assured that he won't be causing any issues fo rthe boys. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! :)

Reviewer: meme (Anonymous) · Date: April 12, 2010 09:30 AM · On: Chapter 13

Thank you.... this was very very nice

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 07, 2010 10:19 AM · On: Chapter 12

Let me just say I for one feel very uneasy about  justin or brain being with others it dosen't seen. right 

Reviewer: char (Anonymous) · Date: April 06, 2010 05:33 AM · On: Chapter 12

this story is so good.  cried for several chapters  am a real softy when it comes to the boys.  i'm a little better toward the last couple.  hopefully kevin doesn't cause too much angst.  good writing.  i'm appreciating the story line.

Reviewer: meme (Anonymous) · Date: April 06, 2010 04:50 AM · On: Chapter 12

I read this on anther site...I glad I can reply to this now...why ten year? It's all good....sad that brain is sick....BUT WHY either brain or Justin  didn't stay in touch with each other even to say Hi or fuck you  that part I don't get. Need more explanation on how brain ready got sick. For two people to love each other so deeply they both are jackasses. O.K fine if Justin want to keep Kevin inform once in a while that’s cool but for what ever long Brain has let it be always brain and Justin and the family.

Reviewer: Sophie (Anonymous) · Date: April 05, 2010 11:51 PM · On: Chapter 12

I don't think I've seen this story before.  But, I read all 12 chapters and cried all the way through them.  It's a very good story and I can't wait for the rest of it.

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2010 02:03 PM · On: Chapter 12

"Besides, you can’t make someone love you, right?”" i believe that's exactly what justin did.

i sure hope he tells brian. wouldn't sit well if he doesn't and brian finds out. with justin's luck, jennifer probably called or something.

kevin knows brian well.  The only one he’ll ever let himself love’. so true.

Reviewer: Shelly (Anonymous) · Date: April 05, 2010 12:29 PM · On: Chapter 12

Oh god, your story kills me! But I guess that's a positive thing in this regard (you've got some serious writing skills!) I'm seriously heartbroken over the idea of Brian being this way. Your writing is so emotional that I can't help imagining him fading. I personally love Brian. I think his character is amazing. 

Fantastic story! You really know how to tug at heart strings.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2010 10:03 AM · On: Chapter 12

Excellent chapter; Kevin isn't a bad guy just not in luck. Hopefully Brian's health will stay up and they can have a good relationship. I really enjoy the scenes with Gus too.

Reviewer: sfscarlet (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2010 12:39 PM · On: Chapter 11

This is a great, gripping story.  I'm glad that Brian is letting Justin in and that he believes Justin never stopped loving him.  You've done a great job of keeping them IC.  I can't wait for another update. 

Reviewer: adam (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2010 06:01 AM · On: Chapter 1

this story is amazing.  just cried and cried.  guess i'm just too much of a sucker for a sad story.  the writing is so good keeps on going and keeps me interested.  i am so looking forward to the next chapters.  i'm new to midnight.  you go!!

Reviewer: LAUREN49ERS (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2010 01:07 AM · On: Chapter 11

Wow Wow what an amazing chapter.

Of course I had to have my tissues near me as usual. Your wirtinf of the love scene is incredible. We're alaways there with them. The feelings are so intense.

What an incredible job!

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2010 12:44 AM · On: Chapter 11

Whoopie! Love this chapter; I knew they could get over this. Great writing.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2010 12:16 AM · On: Chapter 10

Where would Brian go? I must read on to find out. Love the story.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2010 12:02 AM · On: Chapter 9

Great chapter; you go Gus!

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2010 11:47 PM · On: Chapter 8

Excellent cliffie here. Nice of you to post so many chapters so one doesn't have to wait. The story is excellent.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2010 11:32 PM · On: Chapter 7

Very well written. Justin can be the motivation for Brian to get better. He can live if he chooses to live. Oops! I forget I'm not the one writing this story.  :)

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2010 11:20 PM · On: Chapter 6

B&J AIDS angst; what a plot line.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2010 11:06 PM · On: Chapter 5

I wonder if a magnetic B&J relationship is in their future.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2010 10:54 PM · On: Chapter 4

Kaposi Sarcoma will clear up when his immune system is strong again. The HARRT treatment should reduce his viral load, and raise his T-cell count. Sadly I'm old enough to remember when this fu*king disease started and I've watched dozens of friends die before the drugs came along. Reading on....

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2010 10:31 PM · On: Chapter 2

The plot thickens....

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2010 10:26 PM · On: Chapter 1

This is a very interesting plot. Although nobody dies of AIDS anymore due to the wonder drugs they have; artistic license allows you do this anyway.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment. I just want to say that no one dies of AIDS, period. They die of AIDS-related malignancies; and this sort of thing still happens all the time. Yes, drugs have come a long way, but there's still no cure and someone who has gone from HIV to AIDS has a severely compromised immune system and is therefore more succeptible to opportunistic infections, which sometimes results in death. No wonder drug can keep everyone from dying of cancer, pneumonia, etc. If something could, we wouldn't have to worry about those things.

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