This was tres adorable and SO how I imagine Brian to be when alone with Gus. Thank you x

Have really enjoyed this story - it's been a wonderful journey of discovery for both Brian & Justin (though especially Brian, of course!). Hope you will write more in the future :) :) :)

Hello.  My name is Michelle and I am a "Lurker."  I've written maybe ten reviews in the last two years of fabulous reading, and your story is one I cannot just let pass on by...

I was loving your story until the dreaded D/s plot was unveiled.  I actually had to step away from the story for a few weeks until I could return, after taking a deep breath.

You are a sly little devil, easing me, a dense naive reader, into the whole Dom/sub thing by not "naming" it.  Clever.

As you my have already inferred, I am a bit reluctant to embrace new identites for my beloved bj characters.  But, sigh, you have managed the impossible - as far as my personal stubborness goes - to both educate and intrigue.

Much like a number of your regular reviewers Im getting a bit of therepy from your fic.  I truly adore Brian.  He is the man I wish I could grow up to be like (if I wasn't already older, and a woman, lol).  We are alike only in that I am also very repressed emotionally and get quite uncomfortable when confronted with too much...well, too much anything really.  Hence my temporary hiatus from your story (and possibly permanant one from about halfway thru season 4 of qaf - why I turned to fanfic in the first place).

I've been to therepy off an on thru the years.  Both group and one-on-one, even a retreat once where I was cajoled into bashing a pile of foam cushions with a bat (ironic, in conjunction with qaf, I know) trying to conjur up the anger and emotion I've learned to control so well.  Nothing works, not well or for long, anyway.  I've kinda given up, really.

Your story has taken my favorite co-dependant duo to a different level.  You've given me something to think about.  I've always loved the plot lines that revolve around an almost supernatural knowledge of each others' needs and careful loving attentiveness to meet them.  The whole Dom/sub thing, while alien to me, does seem to fit into that, and more.  Who wouldn't like to be in a place of utter certainty that your lover is 110% with you, supporting you, loving you?  Just the word Dominant is cringeworthy for me, but in Justin's hands?  With his love of Brian?  With his intuition on how far to push when Brian is witholding/withdrawing his emotions?

If this is what a Dom/sub relationship is really like, sign me up!

Alas.  In my reality, the thereputic high eventually fades (usually abruptly) when confronted with day to day reality and old habits and reflex reactions come to play.  I am concerned and excited to read how you will integrate Brian/Beautiful with the gang, who have their own need to believe in the Brian-fcuking-Kinney myth.  I've noticed Im not the only one who doesn't accept change very well, and I doubt severly that this crowd will either.

You say this story is almost done.  I can only imagine it as Part 1.  I don't know how you are going to wrap this up neatly within a few chapters without going into these kinds of issues, or at least facing the reality that most of us relapse at some point, especially at the beginning of such a foreign journey.

I think I am just afraid that I will be disappointed if this story wraps up too abruptly or too perfectly.

But I also wanted to say, great story!  You have got me engaged and on the edge of my seat.  Bravo!

Michelle

Author's Response:

Dear Michelle, 

First I wanted to thank you for your note. I am really honored that the story has been so engaging for you. The story has been so meaningful to me for many reasons, and one of the most important is because of the reviews I have received... It has been an amazing experience, both for the feedback on technique and content, as well as from the wonderful and supportive people I have met via the story. Your feedback means a great deal to me personally and as a writer. 

It is amazing to me how much I have in common with Brian.. I was always drawn to his character, but it was only in the writing of this story that I suddenly realized the root of this sort of attraction. From difficulty in expressing and recognizing emotion, to perfectionism and difficulty allowing others to be close, it turns out that he and I have a lot in common! There have even been times when I've written words for Dr. Stevenson that I suppose I was really writing to myself... 

I know I was rather sneaky in introducing the BDSM aspects of the story. It essentially mirrors my own journey into the concepts (if not the practice) of D/s. I have always envisioned love as something like what B/J have in this story...and the first time I ever read D/s stories, I suddenly recognized something (conceptually) that I had never had words or examples of, but that I'd felt in some way within my own heart... I suppose you could say that it was something I instinctively wanted, but did not know how to say.

I wanted to find a way to look at the conceptual side of D/s as an exploration of the themes of love, devotion and support that are in the story... I wanted to show the essence of love as I see it, and as I've begun to see within the context of (some) D/s relationships. I understand that this was a somewhat controversial choice to make, and a difficult one for readers to understand (especially given Brian's position as a sub). I appreciate that you took the time to look at it in concept and practice, despite the name that came attached with it...

I don't know if what I'm about to say will be repetitive or useful to you (or other readers) in any way, but I hope it might be. Sunshine's dominance is something that is given to him by Beautiful... Sunshine wouldn't exist as a Dominant without the gift of Beautiful's submission. His "dominance," such as it is, is an act of trust that he will devote himself to Beautiful's protection, support and growth....

In the particular context of this story, the concept of Beautiful is fleshed out in a particularly explicit way...as Brian's truest, most innocent self. And so Justin is really in the service of the part of Brian that is most in need of that support... 

I agree about the issue of breaking old habits and backsliding from growth. I've tried to illustrate this in relation to other areas, such as when he tricked again and his flirtations with alcohol. I can easily see that this could apply to his relationship with Sunshine, but it would be up to Sunshine to deal with in the context of their relationship, via some type of punishment (not necessarily and not likely to be physical). I don't think it would signify the end of their D/s dynamic.. in fact, it would strengthen it, by giving Brian a further sense of security that he could make mistakes and be human and still be within Sunshine's care. Perhaps I could showcase this in a chapter, though it might have to be via a standalone set somewhat in the future. I do like the idea, but I don't know that I have enough to write the necessary intervening chapters... 

I will admit, I'm nervous about writing the scene -- which will be the next chapter -- with the rest of the "gang".  In all candor, it isn't terribly important to me or my vision of the story how well any of them "handles" Brian's decision... or even how much they know about it. I don't know if I personally have the requisite amount of insight into the other characters to write in any detail about their thoughts on  D/s... I think it would be interesting -- very interesting -- and I've seen that done well in other stories... but I feel it's almost out of the scope of this particular story.. .because what is important (to me) is whether Brian feels that he can be caring and vulnerable in front of the group. The extent to which they know about the D/s side of his relationship with Justin is not necessarily important. I don't know yet if they'll make it public. I assume at some point they will, but perhaps not yet. But Brian's appearance as Beautiful can happen without naming Beautiful, so to speak. I'm sure the group will, to varying degrees, notice the difference, and the change in his behavior might be noted, and the reasons perhaps not. At this point, it's still such a fresh and private decision between them. But the effects are not... (I really hope this makes sense... this is an area that I'm struggling with as I write the chapter!) 

And it's not that I don't want to "get there" in the story... And I can certainly see why this seems like "Part 1". In fact, I think you're right. The intent of the story was to heal Brian, and the essence of that will be complete. The further development of their D/s relationship is rather separate from that and continues "past" that. And I don't know that I have enough of that to make a new story of it. Perhaps I do, but at the moment it doesn't seem like it to me. And I have a fear of going on in the story with chapters that do not substantially develop the story. To get to those intensive D/s moments, I'd have to skip vast amounts of time in the story, which is quite inconsistent with the story structure so far... 

That all said (!), I hope the ending will make sense and not be too abrupt. I hope it makes sense that it is not the end of B/J's journey (you're quite right) but rather that it signifies a major healing being complete, with all necessary issues resolved (but growth still continuing).  I'm giving a lot of thought to these issues, and your comments have helped me to clarify my own feelings on these topics and have given me more to think about, which I sincerely appreciate. Everyone will benefit from a better chapter because of your comments! :) 

Thank you again for your comments... I am so touched that the story has been meaningful to you and had some impact on you. It has for me, too... and I truly cherish the connection I've been able to make with readers. I hope that the end of the story ends up fitting well for you, and I definitely won't rule out further developing the D/s side in another story, whether long or as stand-alones.

 

Sincerely,

Tiffany

 

 

I wanted to take a break from writing Forever Yours and decided to start your story. Brian wasn't too sappy considering he was with Gus and was determined not to be like Jack. Debbie was in character but perhaps a bit too teary eyed. Gus was brilliantly shown. Anytime Brian's reminded of Jack would upset him so it's believable for Gus's question to have that effect. And on the other hand Brian was always good a hiding his emotions so that part of being in character wasn't in this chapter. But with fanfiction we can play with the characters and make them do what we like to entertain the readers so on that effort you get an A+.

You have a terrific writing style full of emotion and flow. The characters come alive with your choice of wording and I can picture the scene you describe. This stoy's off to an excellent start.

Author's Response:

I totally agree about the teary-ness in this chapter and others. I'd stop it if I could; however, as I'm writing I often feel like I have little control of the story. I delete things that "wrote themselves," and then find I can't replace it with anything. I've tried with the tears -- to delete them -- but the chapter never is what I want it to be without that. It probably wouldn't have been as such if it were TV; of course, on TV we can also see facial expression, which would help a lot in conveying the same thing. 

I'm delighted that you like Gus and the characters. This chapter is one of my favorites and it thrills me that Brian's reaction is believable, since the whole story hinges upon that. 

Thanks for your thoughts!

I wish to compliment you for the success of your story. I'm looking forward to reading it when I can find the time.

Author's Response:

Thank you! That means a great deal coming from you -- I've seen your stories up and the amount of enthusiasm and support they engender and I have so much respect and admiration for that. I am also planning to read them -- as you said, when time permits. I think writing one and reading the other might be too much! :) 

Thank you again for your thoughtful note. I wish you continued success and the best of luck in all stories! 

 

I really like this, I don't think Brian was too sappy at all. He always had that softer side, especially when it comes to Justin and Gus. Gus is too cute and so much like Brian.

Not surprising a question like that would cause Brian to be upset. Sure he wasn't emotionally tied to Jack, but with him being a father it would cause him to think about what he missed out on with his dad.

Deb was in character too.

Author's Response:

Hi!! Thanks so much!!! I'm so glad you liked this chapter. It's one of my favorites out of the whole story. And I'm so happy to hear that Brian's upset is believable; the story hinges on that. 

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Readers have made a huge contribution to making this story what it is. :)

just wanted to say that i love this fic esp. brian and justin like you see them together. what an emotional chapter! glad brian could say these things. i'm looking forward to the next chapter with brian and justin together!

This is the first time ever I've left a comment here, but I just had to tell you, that I absolutely love your story!
Reading your story, especially the interaction between Dr. Stevenson and Brian and between Justin and Brian, feels as if you're sitting in the same room with them watching the scene in front of you - I don't think it's possible to come any closer to their thoughts and feelings.

I'm already looking forward to the next chapter and I hope you keep on writing for a while.

Author's Response:

New Reviewer!! *almost jumping up and down with excitement!* 

Thanks so much! That is such a kind thing to say; I'm happy that you're enjoying the story so much and that the dialog is working so well. 

I anticipate at least...*thinking...thinking...thinking*... another 10ish chapters. :)

I hope you'll enjoy the next ones too and will consider commenting again! :)

So far, I am loving this story. I eagerly await more chapters. I would like to read more scenes between Brian and Debbie. I've always loved the interaction between those two. She was such a strong influence on Brian during his teenage years. Thank you for sharing your story.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I love the Brian/Debbie dynamic, too. So far in this story, they are in "Sunday Breakfast With Gus," and "Bearing Gifts." I am planning to have more of the two of them coming up for sure. I think you have an important point about the influence of Debbie on Brian when he was growing up -- that is going to play a very big role in future chatpers. 

 

I really appreciate the comment and I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story! 

That was great. I love Brian with Gus.

Author's Response:

I do, too.That started as a paragraph and I liked how it was going so much it just kept going. In future chapters I'll try to include more Gus! 

Thanks for commenting! :)

I do not know how do you think about Justin, but as my thought, I do not like him very much. And I never think that Brian must be with him, I always believe that Brian deserve happy, he is a very good man, as you write, I believe that Gus love him from all his heart, and Michael and Lindsay love him too. I always do not understand why everyone think that he must be with Justin, I never think Justin is suited to be with him, of course I do not like him with Michael, because I do not like Michael at all. If let me said, I like Brian with a man, really love him, always stay with him, stand by his side, support him, understand him, loyalty to him, affection to him, I can not forgive Justin do that thing to Brian on season two, and I of course totally disagree that every one accuse it is Brian's fault, Brian never ask him to do that, he is a adult, he do whatever he want to do, and of course has accept that, so what happen to him in season three, it is none of Brian's business, even, I think Brian let him back is a wrong decision, look what he do to Brian on season five, Brian never owe him anything, in fact, Brian do so many thing for him, and he never be greatful to that, he always said is Brian never do enough for him, and I want to ask, if Brian is so not good to him, why every time he run back to Brian, if he not to do that, I will be very greatful to see that, so I always to see a finfic Brian would have be happy with a good man, not Justin, a man always loytaly to him, affection to him, love him by heart, understand him  support him,and stand by his side.

Author's Response:

Flora, 

I respect how you feel about Justin. I can see how you could feel that way and see Justin as unappreciative at times; Brian does do a lot for him, as you said. And I agree with you totally about the kind of love that Brian deserves. 

That said, I'll be honest. Brian and Justin will end up together at the end of this fanfic. While I do see where you're coming from, I think Justin offers Brian a lot in the relationship and has the strength of character to get through to Brian, despite his faults (hey, no one is perfect! :) ).  

In this story, I am going to try to make it clear how committed they are to each other now. I hope you will see that, especially starting in the next chapter. Justin is going to be very supportive of Brian as Brian tries to work through some of his childhood issues. Justin will be pushing Brian to grow as a person and I can assure you that Justin will be exceptionally loyal, affectionate and supportive. In the next chapter, which I'll post in the next day or so, Justin tries to clarify some of Brian's feelings for him because Brian has a hard time understanding his emotions.  I hope you will read the fic anyway, and see what you think of Justin and his relationship in it. Remember that this is post 513, and I'm trying to assure that they have both learned a lot and grown from their respective mistakes in the past. 

Someday I might write a fanfic in which Brian is with someone other than Justin, but I don't know when. That seems to me like quite a challenge; to develop that relationship and probably create my own original character. I think it would be interesting, though, and I will definitely keep it in mind. 

Thank you very much for your thoughts and comments! I will keep in mind what you said as I continue the story. Stay tuned for Chapter 4; I hope you'll let me know what you think of that one, too. :)

Beautiful I loved the way Brian and Gus got to revel in each other's love, they are like flower buds gradully opening to the sun. Gus growing and building self esteem knowing he is loved. Brian basking in the simple enjoyment that is Gus and experiencing what childhood should be. Deb's reassurance to them both of what wonderful people they are.

Author's Response:

What a great metaphor for their relationship! That's just how I thought of it -- Brian wanting to give Gus what he didn't have. Thanks for your response to the chapter! 

Beautiful! Perfect! I can't wait to read the next chapters!

Author's Response:

Yippee! I'm so glad you liked it! I'll post the second chapter now, since I'm so glad! I hope you'll like the next one, too. It's angsty, quite different, so I look forward to seeing what you think of it. :)Thanks again for commenting!!!!!!!!!