Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Reviews For Why Not With Me
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: May 03, 2021 08:08 PM · On: Gift Exchange

poor Brian, hope his parents rut in hell

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: May 03, 2021 08:07 PM · On: Gift Exchange

poor Brian, hope his parents rut in hell

Reviewer: Bgriggs (Signed) · Date: March 23, 2020 06:50 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers

I really loved your story...

Reviewer: Linnu (Signed) · Date: January 13, 2020 12:43 AM · On: You Told Him That?

Love this chapter

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2019 09:52 PM · On: Diners Past, Passengers Present

Like it so far

Reviewer: Nanna Nat (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2019 07:19 AM · On: Sunday Breakfast With Gus

I don’t think that you are still active in this community but thought that I should review anyway. What an absolutely stellar read. You are such a talented writer. It is fics like this that have started to become canon from me and make it hard to go back for rewatches as I love the complex and layered characters shown through such pieces of writing. d84;a039;

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 20, 2019 09:18 PM · On: Loving You

Ahhhh the end :(


But damn I'm so proud with both of them. 


Wonderful writing. Loved it. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 20, 2019 07:32 AM · On: In Public

Thay was so good. Craig is such a bastard. He don't deserve to have such a wonderful person for his son. Justin is so strong <3 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2019 02:00 PM · On: A Question

Fck. I want to murder every single person who hurt Brian. How could they? To a child? I'm so mad and so sad. And he was alone :((((( Thanks for ripping my heart. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2019 01:42 PM · On: Up To Today

 " I am so lucky to have Justin; Brian is so lucky to have Justin. Justin sees things for what they are and he helps Brian to see what’s what."

And we are lucky to have Justin too <3 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2019 09:22 AM · On: Words Exchanged

I really love how they talk about everything and fix it. That's what a good relationship is. Great writing like always. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2019 05:24 PM · On: Only Us

This chapter was beautiful. Brian really felt it. It felt so natural and realistic. Noting felt forced or rushed. Absolutely amazing. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2019 04:49 PM · On: Only With Me

Woahhhh. This was fcking hot. Idk how you even thought of this srsly. And Brian getting possessive and jealous hehe <33333

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2019 10:08 AM · On: It Will Be Forever

Wonderful. They are slowly making progress and I love it. Justin is amazing. He has always been the most mature person Brian knows. Even when he was still a brat he was too mature for his age. No wonder they fit so well. They just complete each other. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2019 09:27 PM · On: Order Into Chaos Into Order

Doc good job! That's what I call a professional help. So glad Brian is moving forward. So proud of this boy. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2019 04:21 PM · On: Why Would He?

I want to punch Michael now. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2019 08:20 AM · On: Why Would He?

I want to punch Michael now. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2019 07:11 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor

So far this is my favorite chapter. So raw. It literally had me in tears.

I love how you presented Brian feelings with the hustler and the tricks after Justin. And when Brian said what he thought when he paid the tuition... I chocked.


Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2019 06:27 AM · On: Scarves

Oh no. This was so painful *sobs *And when Brian said about the suicide attempts I was shocked :((( 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2019 05:57 AM · On: Needs and Wants

This chapter was superb. It got me so emotional and I was holding back my tears. I re-read it 2 times before moving to the next chapter. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 16, 2019 05:16 AM · On: You Told Him That?

Woops Brian got mad.

This doctor is so good. I need a psychiatrist like this. Amazing. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2019 08:45 PM · On: You Better Know

That was painful, but so good. Joan that bitch. I got angry too just like Justin. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2019 08:29 PM · On: About Me

That was fcking hot *o* Justin is making his magic. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2019 08:13 PM · On: Magic Show

Love it so far. 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2019 06:59 AM · On: Inside Pockets

Love how Justin always know. He just knows. He grow up into such a fine man <3 

Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2019 09:22 PM · On: Believe

This chapter was mind-blowing *o*


"I want to be the artist I am when I’m with you.” Love <3 


Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2019 08:59 PM · On: Diners Past, Passengers Present

Brian father was always such a bastard -_-

Reviewer: Gloria (Anonymous) · Date: July 21, 2016 12:48 PM · On: Order Into Chaos Into Order

I'm just finding this story from a recommendation from someone and oh my God!

You are an unbelievable writer! Are you a psychologist yourself? This is so moving and poignant. I am laughing out loud & crying from memories, this really hits home for me. My experiences weren't as bad as Brian's but I had them just the same and I'm realizing some things from his therapy sessions. You must really be helping people with this story...I'm so moved...thank you

Reviewer: toniu (Signed) · Date: September 11, 2015 09:35 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers

I don't know if you still respond to any reviews. But here goes. I found Heartbreaker, and I loved the story. So I decided to read another of your stories. Why Not With Me.

In the beginning I loved the story. I loved that you were addressing the issue of Brian's abuse. I always felt that the writers and fanfiction writers fail the issue.

Being a survivor of my one parents abuse and the other parents reticence to step in I have always leaned more to the wounded Brian character. So anything that paints him as a wounded soul, not the selfish asshole is great.

Until you turned it into a BDSM story. When you are abused it's the inability to protect yourself that you live with. To be tied up and not be able to protect myself would be the worst thing that could happen to me.

Because I am an abuse victim I also work with abused and neglected children and youth. Working with our staff psychologist I must say your Doctor client sessions were spot on. But the doctor would have not ever agreed with the BDSM.

Then every breakdown Brian has Justin heals with sex. Sex is an addiction for the abuse victim. We are so desperate for some one to show us they love us that they confuse sex and love.

The first thing our doctors teach us is to find other forms of validation.

With that said I still enjoyed reading the story and will continue reading others becuause of your talent. Thank you.

Reviewer: nickknack (Signed) · Date: July 18, 2015 11:29 AM · On: Loving You

First story I have read by this author and I think it is amazing. I became invested in our boys relationship and now want to see them continue their journey together - to be happy. I can't wait to see the other offerings from this author. More good things to come I'm sure:-)

Reviewer: dian kilborn (Anonymous) · Date: June 25, 2015 12:47 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers

Loved it. Explained a lot about Brian and why he is like he is. His relationship with Justin is so wonderful...love stories where they are together.

I hope to see more of your stories.

Thanks so much.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2015 03:37 AM · On: Loving You

I'm going to miss this, but what an amazing journey this has been. Thank you x

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2015 02:57 AM · On: Everywhere

Aw Debbie is so proud of him - Brian offering to get Junter a tutor was adorable. It really shows what a beautiful person he really is. It was there and Justin just helped him find it.


Loved the smut as always :p

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2015 02:47 AM · On: In My Submission

I am in mourning for this already, but man oh man, seriously, you have no idea how amazing you are or how wonderful this story is. I wish I could read it all over again for the first time. I love how easily Brian trusted Justin here. Perfection.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2015 02:38 AM · On: Let It Take You

Justin always knows what he needs, the pain though, I can't :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2015 02:32 AM · On: Closing the Door

I am an emotional wreck, he did it, he faught his demons and he WON! They didn't beat him - he survived and he told her to her face. I only wish Jack was alive to have listened to that!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2015 02:22 AM · On: In Public

I am stupidly proud of Justin, screw you, Craig!!!!!!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 01:09 PM · On: Birthday

The book, he gave him the book AHHHH

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 12:54 PM · On: Yes, Beautiful

LMAO I love that every now and then, Brian can queen out. It's normal and you wrote it soooo well

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 12:40 PM · On: Unspoken Words

I am so gutted this is almost over ahhh

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 06:37 AM · On: Knowing You

The birthday messages were so wonderful, and Debbie was completely IC. You're doing so good eeep x

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 06:13 AM · On: Take Me In

OMG I hope you have him talking to that witch!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 05:41 AM · On: The Answer

Justin is the best thing to happen to Brian, he knew from the start who the real Brian was!!!!!!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 05:29 AM · On: A Question

That did NOT hurt the story, it made it better, god, you write things and it just explains so much, seriously. I cannot get over how amazingly talented you are x

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 04:48 AM · On: Words Exchanged

I want to kill Joanie, she really fucked him up :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 03:49 AM · On: Only Us

SOBBING! He has finally realised what LOVE is and how he's meant to feel with the one person that makes him so happy.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 03:13 AM · On: Only With Me

God, I love how possessive Brian is of Justin

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 13, 2015 02:41 AM · On: Honesty

He so badly doesn't want to end up like dear old Joanie and he wont, but the poor baby needs a cuddle :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 05:58 AM · On: Restrained

He needed that release, that anger, Justin knows him so well aw!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 05:38 AM · On: Neglect

Ooooh he needed to let some of that anger out, it's been bubbling for years :)

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 05:16 AM · On: Listening

I love that he called for help, seriously such proud mama bear moment :)

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 04:58 AM · On: It Will Be Forever

“I just want you to know, Sunshine…it is what I want, and what I’m working for. And when you have it, you’ll have it forever.”



Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 04:46 AM · On: Clear Lines

I'm sad Brian tricked BUT I get e was on autopilot - I love that he admitted that he didn't want to know if Justin tricked. That is a HUGE accomplishment for him to admit something like that.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 04:16 AM · On: Stings the Throat


Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 04:14 AM · On: What You Are

"Your parner just made partner" OMG YES!!!

Also - this was a million chapters ago, but I love the idea of Brian having a mouthwash routine lol

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 04:00 AM · On: With Distance

Brian has come so far - and omg the thought of him taking Justin out, like reallu taking him out - dining him and all - ahhh the feels!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 03:46 AM · On: Three Take Away Two

They have come so far, I'm so proud of them both. I kinda wanna send myself to this therapist LOL

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 03:17 AM · On: Lock and Key

That is actually the hottest thing I have ever read. I feel like Brian has taught Justin a lot - so this was 100% believeable for me. It's just that he's never been able to re pay Brian the favor :)

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 02:44 AM · On: Order Into Chaos Into Order

Jesus Christ, I am sobbing - real big fat salty tears. I am so proud of Brian, like so bloody proud it isn't even funny. Are you for real? Like how are you such a talented writer? I am reading this and I can easily picture this in my head.



Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 02:10 AM · On: Come Together

Oh god, what will he be like when he gets home :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 02:01 AM · On: Decked

I love Ben so much right now x

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 01:45 AM · On: Why Would He?

I want to cuddle Justin so bad, and Brian - I am so proud of him (hugsssssss)

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 05:34 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor

OMG MY POOR BABY!!!! I am so proud he has opened up to Justin though *sobs*

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 05:21 AM · On: Scarves

I hope we hear about when he tried this before, was he young, who found him and what not. MY GOD, GIRL - you are killing me with how awesome this is. I NEED TO GO TO SLEEEEEP lol

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 05:05 AM · On: Beautiful

it's 4 in the morning, I need to go to bed, but I can't stop reading. I LOVED JUSTIN TAKING CARE OF BRIAN ahhh :)

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 04:49 AM · On: Favorite Places

Awwwwwwww I love that Brian would do ANYTHING for Gus, and the image of them waving to him over the camera was totally adorable. I hope Brian lets Justin start to look after him - I think it will take a while getting used to, but I think he'll start to enjoy it. Annnnd, Justin not letting Brian see his apartment so that it had no memories of Brian in it? Perfection. So in character!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 04:37 AM · On: Needs and Wants

I feel like I am in therapy reading this LOL! My god, I read this with tears streaming down my face. This doc is amazing ;)

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 04:25 AM · On: I Don't Wanna Face It

I love how Justin raised his voice at Brian, it's abut time he realised just how important and loved he was aw!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 04:20 AM · On: You Told Him That?

OMG he just walked out! These things had to be discussed, but poor guy, he is so volnrable. Damn, you are good x

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 04:08 AM · On: Gift Exchange

Not OOC at all and Justin is not too perfect, Justin is perfect, perfect for Brian. He gets him, and I love how Brian has let him in. Honestly, this is perfection. You truly are tres amazeballs x

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 03:54 AM · On: Traumatized

You are extremely talented - the way you wrote this was amazing, and the thigns you said explaiend Brian PERFECTLY!! I cannot wait to see what happens next.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 03:42 AM · On: Partners

It was not too similar at all to the previous chapter, and omg when Brian asked Justin why he wanted to go, my heart exploded. Seriously ahhh!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 03:33 AM · On: You Better Know

My poor baby omg, but I am so glad Justin got him to break down, hopefully this will help him...

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 03:25 AM · On: About Me

That was SO hot, and not OOC in my opinion at all. It actually really worked with the story. Justin just wanted him to relax and feel good ;)

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 02:57 AM · On: Magic Show

I can't stop reading this.

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 02:48 AM · On: Bubble Gum Flavor

You handled that perfectly. All this makes so much sense, poor Brian :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 02:38 AM · On: Standards of Manhood

Jack is an absolute wanker, I'm so happy Deb stood up for him though, I wish she's stopped him from leaving :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 02:24 AM · On: Bearing Gifts

I'm so glad it was Ben that found him, if it was anyone else, I think it would have frightened him more :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 02:10 AM · On: The Best Laid Plans

Seriously, can I just jump in to this fic and cuddle him?

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 02:05 AM · On: Inside Pockets

My heart, poor Brian. I always always assumed that this is sort of what went on in his childhood, so reading it as I believed it to be is amazing. I WANT TO CUDDLE HIM!

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 01:47 AM · On: Diners Past, Passengers Present

Poor baby :(

Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 01:42 AM · On: Sunday Breakfast With Gus

This was tres adorable and SO how I imagine Brian to be when alone with Gus. Thank you x

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 28, 2014 05:09 AM · On: Loving You

This was such a beautiful and emotional story... I loved reading it, feeling them grow closer and closer together...

Thank you so much this truly is a masterpiece!

Hugs Hon ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 28, 2014 04:09 AM · On: Closing the Door

Wow! I'm so proud of Brian for standing up to Joanie after all these years...

I'm also proud of Justin for standing up to Craig. I know they'll both be stronger people for expressing their inner feelings, letting go of the past...

Great Story ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 27, 2014 05:28 AM · On: Up To Today

Wow, this chapter is a real eye opener...

Will the real Brian Kinney please stand up...

I love how deep all the emotions runs in this story... ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 27, 2014 04:19 AM · On: Only Us

"Only us. Only us. Only us."

God I love this chapter...

Thank you so much ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 26, 2014 05:00 PM · On: Lock and Key

Hot Damn!!!

That was good for me too... ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 26, 2014 03:47 PM · On: Order Into Chaos Into Order

Wow! You had me sitting in that chair by the window with tears running down my face... Awesome chapter, so powerful and heartfelt... Thank You Doctor...

Hugs ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 25, 2014 07:01 PM · On: Traumatized

Wow! he's actually talking to a therapist... It's about time...

Later Hon ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 25, 2014 04:02 PM · On: About Me

Justin the Majestic and his magic wand...

Perfect! ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: December 25, 2014 06:17 AM · On: Believe

Just like the painting, this story is intense and powerful showing so much emotion... I love it!

Later Hon ~ Kathleen

Reviewer: QaFfangirl (Signed) · Date: May 03, 2014 05:42 PM · On: Inside Pockets

This was a beautiful chapter that reflects the open Brian I love so much.  

Reviewer: Trish (Anonymous) · Date: March 27, 2014 06:35 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

I remember anxiously waiting to read a new chapter with this story and the awe of finally getting to finish it. I loved it then fiercely. It is now years later and I have come back to visit once every few months or so when I'm feeling down and want something beautiful and uplifting...something that'll remind me to dust myself off when the world knocks me down and to stand up and try again. Today, I sat down "just because" and read it all over again and realized I hadn't left a review in all times I've come back to read this fic. So, on the off chance that you're still around and reading your reviews, I leave my sincerest thanks. Your story has been a happy reminder for me for years that beauty exists in many forms and I am incredibly grateful to you for writing it and sharing it. Much love. ;)

Reviewer: CFC (Anonymous) · Date: October 13, 2013 05:56 PM · On: Only Us

Good feelings, good chapter.

Reviewer: Galesgal (Signed) · Date: July 20, 2013 01:08 AM · On: Diners Past, Passengers Present

I am totally loving this story.   I am reading it on my kindle at work.    I cant wait for the jane pain you have sucked me in.

Reviewer: adrita (Anonymous) · Date: April 15, 2013 12:23 PM · On: With Distance

i haven't written much over the chapters I have read, because I have been truly breathless and excited reading, you are such a wonderful writer and you've got such a true gift, and I just want to say thanks for sharing it with me if not all of us :D this is exactly how I imagined the characters would progress after that shitty ending :( but you took it to a whole another level and then some, I am enjoying this so thoroughly that I have this irrational fear of what I'm going to do with myself when this ends, but thanks for this little gem and seriously this has got to be one of the best pieces of fanfiction I have ever read :) -a true fan!

Reviewer: cricrijolie (Anonymous) · Date: January 09, 2013 11:22 PM · On: Loving You

wow, thanks for the ride, I really enjoyed it!! Love from Montreal xox

Reviewer: bookstorequeer (Anonymous) · Date: November 04, 2012 08:21 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

I just wanted to thank you for writing a touching, thoughtful, emotionally fulfilling story. You've done a great job and I really enjoyed reading it. So, thanks!

Reviewer: wellreadbunny (Signed) · Date: October 17, 2012 08:23 AM · On: Sunday Breakfast With Gus

it was raelly good. Brian is such a good father .I love when he is with Gus its so sweet

Reviewer: Ziggster317 (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2012 03:34 AM · On: Loving You

I know you finished this story a long time ago, but I just found it and finished reading it and I wanted to send you a note saying Thank You for writing it. Not only did I enjoy spending time in this world, but it also gave me a lot to think about when it comes to love and relationships. So thank you for writing and I can't wait to read more of your stories.


Reviewer: viceleah (Anonymous) · Date: October 15, 2011 06:25 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

You know, I find myself really connected to this story. I've been contemplating about therapy and when I started on this story, I find it so refreshing. I do usually love stories like this where I get out of it more than just laughs and sighs of joy. I love that it makes me views circumstances, relationships, and life in a totally different view. Most of all, it really help me keep my demons at bay. Like I can sort of/kind of see why I am the way I am, just like Brian. I find it beautiful the way you write Brian's and Justin's relationship. I love that Brian is able to accept Justin's love for him completely and to trust him on a physical, emotional, mental, psychological, etc. way just shows how much he's come. I know I'm blabbing but I do want to thank you so much for this wonderfully inspiring and refreshing story. Thanks and thank you so very much.

Reviewer: Angelstar2 (Anonymous) · Date: September 13, 2011 02:24 AM · On: Neglect

so emotional and yet so much growth! Thanks for writing!

Reviewer: bidyke73 (Anonymous) · Date: July 28, 2011 03:49 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

Dear Tiffany,

I am not sure if I have commented on this one before, because I've read your fic for a second time these days. As a matter of fact, I hadn't read the ending, which wasn't for the reason that I didn't like your story back then, but that I kind of forgot about it after I had less time to be online.

So, now I've finished and read everything in one piece and I agree: It's one of the best QAF stories ever, a "classic". It's not flawless though, indeed it's very controversial and I'm not even sure if I'd call it "in character" most of the time. It doesn't matter as long as it's believeable in itself and as long as it "touches" me. Plus, I'm a sucker for "psychologic" stories. And for strong Justin.

What I don't really like so much, is the conclusion of your story. NOT for the reason that I dislike BDSM. I just would have prefered to have Brian go through all this with Justin's help and just psychotherapy - the way the story starts off. For me, it changes too quickly and whereas I do like the scenes you create, it makes me feel that in reality, a person like Brian wouldn't be sane enough to really consent at this point. And Justin, he's too confident, too patient, too knowing where they probably should have fought first. But these are small things, and it's your story and your choice. So let me just say: It was an amazing read, it was challenging in some ways and yeah, it was well worth it.

Regards, Sabine


Reviewer: LovelessSouls (Signed) · Date: April 12, 2011 08:15 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

I stumbled across this story late last night and just finished it a few moments ago and I have to say I absolutely loved it. The characters felt very believable for the situations you put them and I think that Brian and Justin developed very well. I'll admit that I stuggled a bit at first accepting the 'new' Brian, but I thouroghly enjoyed watching him make his journey.

Reviewer: reiselust161 (Signed) · Date: January 07, 2011 10:12 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers

Well, Tiffany, it took me only like 5 days to finish your story as I couldn´t leave it till it was finished. It really moved me how intense you could write about that realtionship and the evolution of it. Though sometimes Brian seemed a bit too mushy for me and Justin a bit too much taking over, I enjoyed the story anyway. It´s fiction as the whole Brian/Justin relation is fiction so anything is possible. What is important to see that Brian could let himself fall once and for all into someones arms (figurativly and literally) which he totally deserved, and think was his greatest problem at all. 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us and letting us relive one of the greatest "non-relationships"


Reviewer: scorpiobleue (Anonymous) · Date: September 05, 2010 05:48 AM · On: Loving You

I've just finished reading the story and it was an amazing, emotional, hopeful experience. I'm so glad that you dealt with how Brian Kinney became Brian Kinney. In the show you got glimpses of what made him tick, but it wasn't fully realized I think. With this story you showed how his horrendous childhood affected the man he became. To watch Brian go through therapy and have his breakthroughs and realizations that he's good and lovable was heartbreaking yet empowering. Just, thanks so much for this story.

Reviewer: Murgy31 (Signed) · Date: August 31, 2010 12:00 PM · On: Closing the Door

I read the whole story tonight and I was going to wait until the end to comment, but this chapter was amazing. This story is brilliant!

Reviewer: dzmom (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2010 01:53 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

I have loved this story from the very first word. It's beautiful. I would have reviewed more if I'd been able to stop reading long enough to write it down. LOL!

Reviewer: onebookwoman (Anonymous) · Date: March 15, 2010 10:48 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor

This is a great story so far.  It's been a long time since I've read a complete b/j story.  So far, your interpretations of events, and the anaysis of Dr. Stevenson are believable to me.

I agree with you that a doctor would want his patients to abstain from drugs and alcohol.  I disagree with the readers who want to justify all of Brian's vices, because he's using them for the wrong reasons.  When he lights up a joint to relax at the end of a hard day, that's one thing.  To have one or 2 drinks for the same purpose is not abuse.  When he drinks or takes drugs to mask his own pain, that's when it's a problem.

To the people who feel parents are too prudish about drug/alcohol use: most parents have already gone through their own versions of excess, and they love their children so much that they don't want to see them come to harm.  Even if I knew my kids were partying like that, I'd never say to them, "Have fun getting wasted on whatever you can get."

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: March 10, 2010 02:38 AM · On: Up To Today

“So Brian… what you need to think about is whether you’re ready to quit drinking. If you’re ready to quit taking drugs. And if you’re ready to deal only with the real you. With what you feel and what you need.”


Why??? I don't get this at all. Brian shouldn't have to quit drinking and doing drugs. That doesn't make you a better grown up or a better person. It mean even though he doesn't have an addiction he is putting limits on himself, limits he doesn't need. Drug and alcohol are fun. I know that isn't what the self help books tell us or our parents or uptight people that think they are above it and find it immature. Not only are drugs fun but they can be powerful amazing medicines that people need. Our bodies are teeming with dormat cannabinoids waiting to be activated to help us. XTC can help with depression and I think there was a study that it help with heart issues.

This is a challenging story. It challenges my lifestyle and my core believes in freedom of self and freedom of the spirit. Which isn't horrible but... I am going to finish it.

Author's Response:

Okay -- I think I should explain. I wasn't trying to suggest that he had to quit (first of all, this is the doc's opinion, and I think a lot of doctors would suggest that, but I digress). I wasn't trying to suggest that he should quit, necessarily... *takes a deep breath, hoping she can make this make sense* 


Most of this story is, to me, conceptual. What I wanted to do was think about the function that substances were having for him within the story, and to see if / how this function / ends could be achieved via a different means. Within the context of this story, I was trying to explore the idea that Brian was essentially using alcohol to suppress his feelings and ecstasy to try to feel an emotional connection to people. Then, I wanted to use his increased interpersonal awareness and relationship with Justin to see how the same sort of aims could be achieved in another format. My contention then was that, in line with this particular story, his substance abuse was not especially fun -- it served a particular function. Now, I'm not saying it isn't fun -- I'm saying, I wasn't focusing on that side of it for this story. I wasn't trying to disparage it necessarily, and I was hoping that I could show some of the validity of their use -- they had helped him for a long time. 

It was a hard choice for me personally as to whether he would quit substance use or not. The reason I eventually did have him choose it was when he found something else that could "replace" the sensation and function that it was serving in his life.

It's always hard to -- well, actually impossible to know how a story will be interpreted, and I think every interpretation is equally valid, mine as much as anyone's. I can say what I intended, but not really what I wrote -- that depends on what others read. So I wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and also to say that I never intended to write a story that threatened freedom of spirit at all. In my own interpretation of the story, Brian ends up more free because he is learning to achieve more emotional freedom through a greater variety of means, and he is more free to be himself (and not how others might sometimes see him).

Thanks for continuing the story although it's a challenging one for you. :)

Reviewer: Heidi (Anonymous) · Date: March 10, 2010 01:30 AM · On: Gaining You

Hmmm. I don't know how to put this without sounding nuts. I think it's really unfair that Brian has to lose all his vices in this story. I find that everyone needs vices in life. No matter how mentally healthy you are vices are there to help you keep things in balance, their there to help you keep control over your life. Even if it's that one smoke you have with your morning coffee. It's part of your routine and part of your life. In a way I feel that you are stripping Brian down and taking away his vices, just to have them be replaced by Justin and in a lot of ways that is unfair to both Brian and Justin.

One of the best things about QAF is how they showed adults liberally using drugs and alcohol and not making it into an afternoon special. Almost all the guys were shown using alcohol and drugs as a way of self medicating, but they also showed drugs and alcohol as something you do to enhance sex and enhance a moment. It's sad to Brian being stripped of those moments.

Brian Kinney means a great deal to me. I grew up in Pittsburgh, my father was a steel worker and a drunk, my mother was a devout Catholic who would drink herself stupid and from 4-9 I raised myself. I also had to miss school because of bruises and not having clean clothes to wear. So watching a person on TV that was so close to who I was and who I became made me feel like less of a freak and more normal. There were moments on the show where I was like OMG that's me. Mostly because Brian seemed to acknowledge his parents abuse and neglect and used them as a catalyst to become who he was and to be perfectly honest I found Brian to be pretty alright warts and all.

Author's Response:

I understand what you mean. My goal wasn't so much for him to become perfect, but rather to present a story in which these things were serving him in a really negative way. And to say that *if* this were true, that the same outcomes could be had in a more productive way. I wasn't trying to say that it was necessarily so terrible in the show, or that it is a terrible thing in RL. I was trying to explore alternatives that might achieve what drug / alcohol use were achieving within this story. 

I agree about the potential "positive side" to drug and alcohol use, but what I wanted to suggest in the "world of the story" was that this was not the primary function they had in his life, and that rather they were used to manipulate his own feelings in a way that ultimately denied him the chance to have genuine emotion. I'm not saying, again, that it was this way all the time in the show. But I wanted to consider how this *could* be, in a sense, handicapping him. 

I guess for me the substance abuse was quite secondary to his identity. I never saw it as being a central part to his character -- I mean, in a way he was "infamous" for it, but in a way I think that did his a disservice because he did a lot of good things that could be overlooked if he is seen as sort of a one-dimensional character. 

It was difficult for me to decide whether he would or wouldn't quit substances, because I don't really think it's necessary, called for, particularly in character, etc. But a lot of this story was, for me, conceptual and so I wanted to see how other experiences might achieve the same end via different means. I don't know if that makes sense or not -- I hope it does. 

I really never meant to suggest that there was anything wrong with Brian... I'm sorry if / that it came out that way. I really had intended to try to showcase parts of his character that are, to me, too often overlooked, such as his generosity and selflessness. I wanted to consider possible reasons for some of his traits (not to condemn them) rather than just write him off as trying to be a jackass or whatever.  I intended to try to respect where he came from and give that consideration in thinking about his behavior (i.e. that he might have legit reasons for not wanting to be married, not that he's "just" trying to be a forever young peter pan. I intended to try to explore more depth to his character into the sort of easy bromides that go with him at times.

I honestly never intended to suggest that I had any problem with him the way he was and I am sorry that it can be interpreted that way... Ultimately I wanted to show his triumph over all of this, and that despite all he'd been through, he'd succeeded and come through entirely intact.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and interpretation. It's very interesting to me to see how the story is taken by readers, and I am very glad that you wrote in! :)

Reviewer: Heidi (Anonymous) · Date: March 09, 2010 06:46 AM · On: Scarves

Is that really what you thought about the scarfing scene in the show? Or is this something you just wrote for this story to give it drama? I am very curious about your answer.


Author's Response:

That is how I felt about the scarfing scene, because of how I felt about the events going on at that time... Not that I don't see / understand other interpretations, but I do favor this interpretation. 


Reviewer: Heather (Anonymous) · Date: March 09, 2010 03:10 AM · On: Bearing Gifts

I wish there was a warmth to this story :( I want to like this story it's a great idea for Brian to face his demons, but I don't feel anything when I read this. This story would be so much better if the characters were let off their leashes and given room to move and tell us how they are feeling. They all seem a like robotic versions of the gang or something.

The only sound in the apartment is the water streaming down against the tiles and the glass. ( tell us what the water sounds like describe the steam on the tiles and the glass.)

Those are the types of details that bring a story to life.

In the bedroom, I light a joint and let the smoke fill my lungs. I can feel myself relaxing, feel the tension slipping away, the memories of tonight getting softer around the edges. ( is Brian sitting on the bed? Laying back? standing in front of his closet? Where is the tension being relieved. Does he feel it in his back loosing his muscles? Is the tightness in his brow go away? How does the joint taste?)

Off to read a bit more.

Author's Response:

Thanks very much for the feedback. I honestly do appreciate it. 

If you dislike the story so much, I hope you don't feel compelled to continue reading for another 50 chapters.

Reviewer: Jasmine (Anonymous) · Date: February 27, 2010 07:13 AM · On: Loving You

 I'm always late discovering good writers! I started reading Heartbreaker in one sitting and than discovered "Why Not With Me'', I plan to finish reading this weekend...Just want to let you know you write so beautifully and I can just hear the words flowing from the mouths of these characters that I've come to love. You are a tru talent my dear!

Author's Response:

Hi - 

Thank so much! That is so sweet! I am delighted to hear that you like the stories so much (I hope you'll like the new one, too!). I really appreciate the feedback and your words -- too kind! :)



Reviewer: TrinTiff (Signed) · Date: February 23, 2010 06:39 AM · On: Loving You

Oh, honey, you did more than justice with it; the culmination of this story as you told it through this last D/s lovemaking scene took my breath away! I am sad to see it end but I think you were right to end it here. You've done a beautiful job with them! You should be very proud!

Hugs, Cindy

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm sorry I'm just getting to this comment! I am so glad you enjoyed the end of the story; I hope you'll enjoy the new one I've just started as well... 


I'm proud to have readers like you! :) :) 


Reviewer: MissMoe (Anonymous) · Date: February 22, 2010 09:27 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

You know...I've shed a tear or two throughout your fic, but I've definetley cried more reading the end of this fic than I have just reading it. Thank you for such a wonderful read and experience through following it. I'm SO excited to read your other work. I kinda have to take it slow with WIPs, haha. If you're on livejournal my username there is 'sunshinecorazon', please add me there if you have an account :) I'd LOVE to keep in contact through there as well. Ohh I'm sad about this fic, but giddy about reading the rest of your work. *hugs* Again, thanks for such a WONDERFUL fic and for you being such a caring author.

Author's Response:

I'm finally getting around to answering these, so I added you to my LJ account! I'll warn you, I hardly use it though. 

I have loved having you along through the journey of this story -- your comments and enthusiasm have been such a help. I really hope you'll enjoy the rest of the stories as well. It's been my pleasurew to write for you and all the other wonderfully supportive reviewers out there! :) 


P.S. I've shed a tear or two over it myself! And one or two reading reviews...

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: February 22, 2010 08:23 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers



This is a wonderful story, I truly enjoyed reading what you have written. I love the way you have enabled Brian to feel something other than empty and powerless in his personal/emotional life. And empowered Justin in a way that proved to Brian and Justin that they do indeed know and trust each other better than anyone else.   I am also a big fan of this being B/J centered with little interferece from "the gang".  Keep writing!!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I'm so glad to hear that you feel the story turned out this way; it's all I could ever hope for. Thanks so much for the feedback and support! I hope you will / do enjoy my other stories as well! 

Reviewer: sfscarlet (Signed) · Date: February 21, 2010 09:29 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers

I enjoyed Why Not With Me and Recced it to a few people.  ( my beta and I correspond with recs frequently) Thank you for sharing this with us.

Author's Response:

Wow, thanks so much! That is such a compliment. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the story so much. Thanks so much for your support! 


Reviewer: Kitty_Ballou (Signed) · Date: February 21, 2010 07:48 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers

And it's a very special gift and a wonderful one, an amazing + unique one to know you, Tiffany! Thank you so much for sharing "Why not with me" with us. For writing the story that I will never forget... Thanks again! God bless you.


Love, Kitty

Author's Response:

Aww, it's been wonderful getting to know you as well. I'm so lucky to have readers such as yourself! :) I'm sorry I'm so late in replying to these last comments -- I will finish them! 

It has been a marvelous journey and I'm so glad that you came along! :) 



Reviewer: Kitty_Ballou (Signed) · Date: February 21, 2010 07:31 PM · On: Loving You

*still crying*

*smiles with tears in my eyes*

And Tiffany: You did a fucking good job! *hugs again* You and your story are amazing! And the end - typing while following your instints - is absolutely perfect!

Author's Response:

I'm sorry I'm taking so long to get to these reviews! 

I am so glad and lucky to have readers like you! :) 

Reviewer: Kitty_Ballou (Signed) · Date: February 21, 2010 07:24 PM · On: The Love You Take

--- That message is meant for all readers who face trials, tribulations and who know Brian's struggles as their own... Please know you always have my support, and you have been such an inspiration... And you too will win! ---


*hugs you like mad* You're an amazing author! And this story is something special für me! And that's why I have to say that I love her - and you! For writing it! Thank you so much, Tiffany! *kiss*

Reviewer: Kitty_Ballou (Signed) · Date: February 21, 2010 07:13 PM · On: Everywhere

Hi + sooooooo sorry for waiting so long for go on reading! *hugs* I am a little bit busy at the moment - but that's another story... *gg*

But this chapter hooks me again! It's so sweet + charming and I am so proud of Brian + Justin! *sighs happily* And now I have to grab the following chapters! ;-)

Reviewer: Sunny (Anonymous) · Date: February 21, 2010 03:34 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers

Hey tiffany,

thank you so much not only for writing the story - tha´s a given - but also for your words at the end. I can rely to them in so many ways. I wish you all the best and I´m looking forward to your next story.

Hugs, Sunny

Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I'm glad you found the quotation inspirational. I hope you'll like all the stories to come! 

Hugs back, 

Reviewer: Sturmeskind (Anonymous) · Date: February 21, 2010 02:09 AM · On: Open Letter To Readers

Hello, Tiffany,

I hope you can forgive eventual oddities in my English, I try very hard to do it right. That is a difficult task in any case and even more so regarding the fact it's not my native language.

I realise that this is my first review to your story, a fact which I now find hard to believe as it has been, in some sense, a part of my life these past weeks. I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I rarely review anymore as it is, though I'm not too sure why. Perhaps, I tend to avoid the actual self-reflection that comes with re-examining what I've read and how it makes me feel. Oh well, might as well continue now that I've actually started. You were amazingly honest with us readers, so I will try to be honest, too.

First of all, you wrote an amazing love story. That's a big complement on my part as I'm usually and very quickly bored by such things. "Why not with me" is gentle, warm and at times a bit rough (just the way I like it) and it made me feel all fuzzy inside.

However, this is certainly not everything that's to say about this story. I love that you are so perceptive in describing both psychological issues and the relationships and undercurrents between your characters. I think the most important thing is that you didn't try to make things more dramatic than they should be. At no point in the whole story I had the feeling you were using your Brian's (or your Justin's) issues simply to create drama.

Your Dr. Stevenson is an amazing character. I wish there were more people like that in RL. I love how you let his character evolve throughout the story. I remember him being so shocked about Brian's lifestyle and now look at him in that last chapter! Yay for the Doctor.

I admit, I was sceptical at first about the "bondage/submission thing" (lacking a better term here, sorry!). Introducing a, well, controversive matter like this can either ruin the story or turn it into something special. You managed the latter. There's not much more I can say about that without tapping into may personal story, which would take things too far for now. As it is, I'm starting to ramble.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I hope to read a lot more of your work. It truely was a pleasure.


Author's Response:

Hi Lisa, 

First of all, your English is absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous. So please, please, don't worry about that or warn me. If anything, warn me about your articulateness! :) Seriously, though, I have so much admiration for those who are reading / writing in a non-native language. I doubt that I'll ever have the talent or courage to do such a thing. 

I really appreciate your honesty. I know it's hard to leave reviews -- even I owe some, and I know personally how meaningful they can be. You're right, I think, that part of the difficulty is that it's hard to express one's own reaction to a story. And usually, with traditional books/novels, that option is rather far off. The option of leaving reviews or notes is such an immediate way to communicate something that is so personal... I am very glad that you took the risk, though, because your note is really heartwarming. 

Your thoughts on the dramatization of the characters / their issues are very interesting. I find that I love writing the very emotional scenes (i.e. Lock and Key, Let it Take You) and I'm relieved to hear that it's clearly more than drama for its own sake. 

I love Dr. Stevenson, too, mostly because of his disinterested and nonjudgmental way of looking at things, plus, as you suggest, his willingness to change and grow. I also love him for adopting all my favorite psychological viewpoints! :)

You know, it was a risk to add the D/s element into the story... but from my point of view, it was already there. What probably seemed like a rather sudden decision in the story was not. I'd known about the D/s side of their relationship basically since a little before Chapter 10. What I didn't know was whether I would include the conceptual elements as I saw them and stop there (i.e., the chair as a safezone, the rules as a sort of contract) or whether it would be directly named. I did agonize over if, and how, to do that. Paramount to me was that it was a natural progression, with the "name" of it quite secondary to the fact and practice of it, in their relationship. It means a great deal to me that you feel that this risk paid off. Thanks for sticking with it despite the twist! 

I hope you will read more; as you probably know I have some oneshots, another multi-chapter story and am working on another. (New chapter tomorrow). I am planning to do another Big Story, but the ideas are still solidifying... 

Thank you so much for your warm thoughts and message. I am honored to have great reviewers like yourself who have made this journey so much better and the story so much better, too. :)



Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: February 20, 2010 10:16 PM · On: Open Letter To Readers


You are an amazing writer... you brought these characters to life.... the way you described all their emotions, love,hate and fear.... I felt as if I knew them... it takes a great writer to do that... I am an avid fiction reader.... and if a book doesn't interest me in the first few chapters... I will not read it....  I look forward to reading any future fics you will write... and will continue to let you know how much I like them... or not...lol...  Thanks.......

Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I am honored that you stuck with the story and found it worth the long, long nature of the story. I've really appreciated your thoughtful comments and questions on the story; I know they've helped me clarify my own thoughts and improved the story, too. I'll be lucky to have you reading for me in the future! :)

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: February 20, 2010 09:51 PM · On: Loving You

Amazing, Fantastic, Wonderful, Beautiful......  I am running out of words to say.... lol.. I loved this fic.... It was an incredible journey...  I felt as though I was with them every step of the way.... like Brian said... "It was Hard"  but... like Justin said.. "it's been worth it"...... I couldn't agree more.... I can't wait to see what other stories you have planned.... cause I will definetly be along for the ride.......  Thanks Tiffany....

Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I am so lucky to have reviewers like you -- thank you so much for staying for the journey! I'll look forward to seeing you on the next one! 

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: February 20, 2010 09:18 PM · On: The Love You Take

Beautiful..... Amazing chapter.... they have all come so far.. and learned from each other...including Doc Stevenson.... he has learned from Brian's inner strength and from Justin love and devotion.. that you can overcome anything if you try hard enough.... 

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