Reviewer: Waiting on a wish (Signed) · Date: March 07, 2021 08:29 PM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel
I love the story, it has a fast enough pace to keep exciting but is emotional enough to be engaging.
the dialogues seems a little abrupt at times, I would recommend writing tone of voice like; she/he said= tearfully, expecting, worried, startled... things like that. It would make the flow a little better when it comes to the dialogue part.
otherwise; I'm really impressed.
keep up the good work and I am definitely looking forward to reading more of this story tomorrow (and the day after... and the day after. I really love myself a good long read)
Author's Response: Thank you for the detailed review and excellent advice. I would have responded sooner; however, I've been busy with both websites and technical issues. This story only got reposted on Most Recent as a test story and to prove a feature was working after corrections were made. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
bob
Reviewer: JoJo (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2020 09:34 PM · On: Chapter 27: Babylon !!!
Love how Brian and Justin make deals
Reviewer: JoJo (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2020 08:27 PM · On: Chapter 22: Understandings
Justin is too forgiving...Michael better not fuck up or Brian WILL kill himm !
Author's Response: Please forgive my late response. Somehow these reviews got missed. Thank you for reviewing.
Reviewer: JoJo (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2020 08:13 PM · On: Chapter 21: Lily
OK Now I am shocked Yaa for Justin, poor Brian did not see this one coming
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. It does my heart good to see this older epic story still being read.
bob
Reviewer: Bgriggs (Signed) · Date: March 14, 2020 05:02 AM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting
In the series it was Ron Peterson...not Charles Peterson!
Author's Response: My bad. I trust you are right; thanks for commenting and reviewing.
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2019 11:47 AM · On: Chapter 14: Kinnetik Diversity
Love it that you have more story than sex sceens which I mostly fast forward
Author's Response: Forgive me for not responding to your review comments sooner. I have no excuse besides working on the new website SSW.media - constantly.
It always warms my heart to see a new review on and older book written. This one seems to have made quite a splash.
Thank you for reading and I hope it entertained you.
bob
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2019 11:31 AM · On: Chapter 12: Money doesn’t Talk; it Screams
Michael will scew up again
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2019 09:59 AM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel
Love it, love it
Author's Response: And I love you for telling me that!
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: November 14, 2019 09:10 AM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting
wow I just love this story. I do not know how I missed it
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2019 02:57 AM · On: Chapter 33: Wedding Night
Brian is taking well to married life.
Author's Response: Yes he is. After practicing for so many years, things are the same.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2019 12:11 AM · On: Billionaire's Puppy
Mark running off with a married man is not someone I would trust.
Author's Response: Well, he had enough info to know the score, and at that age he knew opportunity was knocking. I wonder if you mean Mark or the married man? (snicker) Thanks for this great comments.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2019 03:27 AM · On: Chapter 31: Reception
I think that Deb inviting Joan wasn't the best of moves.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2019 03:11 AM · On: Chapter 30: Forever Yours
Wow, you write weddings well. Let's hope the reception goes well.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2019 02:06 AM · On: Chapter 29: Family Honor
Oh my. Michael didn't get away with what he did. Love it.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2019 01:56 AM · On: Chapter 28: Coping Now
Mikey has lucked out. Hope he stays clean.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2019 01:38 AM · On: Chapter 27: Babylon !!!
The New Year is going to be great. Kiki seems to have calmed down since we last saw her.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2019 01:21 AM · On: Chapter 26: Merry Christmas Mr. Kinney
And a Merry Christmas was had by all.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 08:24 PM · On: Chapter 25: Christmas at Britin
I don't remember this chapter and I thought I'd read everything you've written. A neatly Christmas Holiday.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 08:07 PM · On: Chapter 24: Christmas Morning
Wow! Santa was good to everyone. That telescope is huge. The trains are delightful.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 07:42 PM · On: Chapter 23: Kinnetik Kindergarten
Rape games even voluntary is not something I like. Love the ideas for Kinnetik Kindergarden and flexable hours.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 06:45 PM · On: Chapter 22: Understandings
Mikey has gotten so lucky. I just hope he doesn't do anything to screw it up or do I?
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 04:01 PM · On: Chapter 21: Lily
It's amazing how much Justin is willing to help Michael, while Brian would rather leave him to his fate. Gus might like to help with the wedding. I'd forgotten about Lily and Justin making a brother for Gus.
Author's Response: How could I miss this review? Thank you YumYumPM.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 03:46 PM · On: Chapter 20:What Were You Thinking?
Things look great for our guys except for Gus not wanting them to marry. But you can't blame him. It's interesting how Michael thinks. He really does need medical help.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 02:43 PM · On: Chapter 19: New Beginnings
Kinnetik is growing by leaps and bounds. Hunter is doing well too.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 02:26 PM · On: Chapter 18: This Beer's for You
I love it when a plan comes together. Brian and Justin are a great team.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 01:50 PM · On: Chapter 17: Revenge
I hope Mikey isn't expecting Brian to come to his rescue. I wonder who decided to give Hobbs a taste of his own medicine.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 12:58 PM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street
Who would have thought all those years ago this story would line up with current news. Mikey doesn't know when he's got things good.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 03:06 AM · On: Chapter 15: The New Family
The family is growing. Glad Angel gave Michael what he needed. lol.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 02:45 AM · On: Chapter 14: Kinnetik Diversity
Angel's doing good. Glad most of the bad guys bit the dust. A double wedding will be great.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 01:30 AM · On: Chapter 13: Kinnetik Justice
Let's hope Brian never gets caught, but it looks like Mikey won't have to worry, so I hope nobody tells him. Craig will probably do something to mess up the help Justin's giving hime.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2019 01:18 AM · On: Chapter 12: Money doesn’t Talk; it Screams
Mikey's mindset is all fucked up. Love how Brian and Justin will own Craig.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 10:29 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
And that's a wrap! Love the glimpses into the gang's future. This story deserves a platinum ribbon. Great job...
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 05:57 PM · On: Chapter 141: Justice for Lindsay
glad little devin is ok. Finally Lindsey got locked up. Hate that women.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 05:48 PM · On: Chapter 11: Angel on his Shoulder
Michael screws up and still Justin helps him. Carl gets fussed at for getting shot how is that fair.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 02:47 PM · On: Chapter 10: Family Part Three
It's good to know that Carl is going to be okay. I'm sure you are going to make things better for both him and Deb. Craig must wish he hadn't disowned Justin once he found out how much Justin made in one day. LOL.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 02:07 PM · On: Chapter 9: Family Part Two
Claire is so lucky that Brian is willing to help her. It's nice that Justin is helping the painters by giving them a job. The ending added suspense.
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 01:35 PM · On: Chapter 114: Small Package Miracles
oh shit. Lindsey is free
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 01:27 PM · On: Chapter 113: Danni
get Lindsey put away for good, she wont change. Glad for Danni, such luck for her
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 01:10 PM · On: Chapter 111:Saks Fifth Avenue
I had Great Danes, Dobermans and Grey hounds, all were great dogs. Now I have 2 Pit bulls. All my dogs were rescued ones
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 12:36 PM · On: Chapter 107: Five Years Later
I agree with your hamster
Darn Lindsey never liked that bitch, not even the show
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 11:43 AM · On: Chapter 101: Made in China
are they realy doing this in China? the must have them sitting there like lobsters in a reataurant
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 05:08 AM · On: Chapter 87:The Gables Republic Tower
always liked Em, such a great guy
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 04:59 AM · On: Chapter 86: Disney
Must been Jerry who got Hobbs attacked
Author's Response: In over 2,000 reviews, you're the only person to have connected the dots. Youth kept Hobbs alive.
b
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2019 04:48 AM · On: Chapter 85: Buying Good Karma
Hope Jerry is not sick
Author's Response: Well he's a rock. However, often miss-understood. Thank you for your comment.
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 05:10 PM · On: Chapter 55: Pirates !
is nice what they did for Michael
Author's Response: They will do anything for their friends, even the blooming idiots.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 01:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Family Part One
Looks like with everything going their way Brian and Justin could retire. It's nice to see Melanie working with instead of against them. It's hard on Deb knowing her son did wrong but she's doing the right thing.
Author's Response: Our boys have just began to become wealthy.
Spoiler Alert! Michael can redeem himself way into the future.
b
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 01:00 PM · On: Chapter 43: Surf with me Rage
I do like both
Author's Response: Yeah, they make a good pair for the movie.
b
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 03:15 AM · On: Chapter 28: Coping Now
Please Brian and Justin adopt me
Author's Response: No kidding; me to!
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 03:08 AM · On: Chapter 7: Black Dumpling
It's good to know that Rage lives on, but seeing Justin with someone else is sad to me.
Author's Response: It really was not like he was really another man. The first gay experience for a new gay man is very important and sets the direction for his life. They just helped their new friend land safely. All he did with Justing was touch, kiss, and taste him; no booty was touched here. His brief experience with Justin only assured Jerry he wanted this in his life. They did him a very good thing.
b
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 03:05 AM · On: Chapter 27: Babylon !!!
glad Craig is dead, to bad it was fast
Author's Response: It might have been fast; however, a massive heart attack can be very painful if you don't pass out first.
b
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 02:55 AM · On: Chapter 26: Merry Christmas Mr. Kinney
hope Lindsey crockes. Crisdeserves this
Author's Response: Things happen for a reason. You will see in the story to come.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 01:43 AM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel
So much happening. Mikey thinking Justin will help him get out of jail. Marvel buying the Rage franchise. Hunter getting ownership of the Comic shop. Mel and JR moving back to Pitts.
Author's Response: Yes, moving the plot forward very quickly here.
b
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2019 01:06 AM · On: Chapter 15: The New Family
Darn Michael, Brian should left him in prison
Author's Response: They did have some good history besides this f__k up happening. Fools and kids get second chances.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2019 10:54 PM · On: Chapter 5: Here Comes the Judge
This story is amazing with all the medical jargon. It's strange that when you wrote this years ago we wouldn't know that something simuliar with Epstein would be happening today.
Author's Response: Truth be told it happens all the time; however, if the kids don't rat on the adults, nobody ever finds out.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2019 06:58 PM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting
Wow. Brian and Justin are going well work wise. Lindsay is in so much trouble. I'm with Brian on killing Mikey.
Author's Response: That chapter leads up to a real nail biter.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2019 06:25 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets
I'm so glad that you are bringing stuff like this up. Lindsay and Michael are going down.
Author's Response: What is a story without a plot, sub-plot, and a sub-sub plot? And I like to keep the reading going at a very fast pace of events. AND there are less than 50 characters. Perhaps you don't remember how it goes; however, unexpected turns for our villians are coming.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2019 02:53 AM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear
Justin is doing really well. You're not going to let Mikey get away with his plans I hope. Glad that Gus is coming home, I don't trust Lindsay further then I could toss her.
Author's Response: Yeah, I totally threw Lindsay under the bus with this one, and made Ms. Marcus a hero. Thank you for the chapter reviews; you make my day to see them. Working hard on getting SSW.media ready.
b
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2019 02:10 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
This has always been a favorite of mine. I always thought that Justin should not have gone to New York and love that Brian doesn't insist that he stay in New York. I'm also enjoying anti-Michael.
Author's Response: Hey girl! Long time no chat. Good to see you online and reading this epic tale once more. I remember you read it when I wrote it, and maybe even beta'd for me. Age affects the memory :) Instead of having senior moments, I get senior years now.
I was floored to see one day that this story has over 1,000,000 reads. And I was aiming for another crackfic. Yes, bashing Michael is a given.
Hugs,
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: August 07, 2019 03:20 AM · On: Chapter 139: What about Randy?
Whew! For a moment, I thought Jerry was going to abduct that dumb kid and sell him to the sex trade in China or just smash him like a bug. Randy is one lucky brat.
Author's Response: Blond American boys are worth more as sex slaves in the Middle East. We're really pretty, and they love to f__k us! "All night long.....".
Jerry's a Dad, and will give the brat another chance. He was a victim of that attorney, too.
I'm so happy to see your reviews. I've got all burners at high flame on the stove right now getting SSW.media ready for prime time REAL SOON. Forgive please any tardyness responding to your wonderful comments.
love and hugs,
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2019 07:11 PM · On: Chapter 102: Sins of the Mother
Aha, I knew it. I'm not surprised to read that Mark's mom turned up eventually. And Mr. Jerry was as cool as a cucumber. Whoa.
Author's Response: Any threat to his lover is history, same goes for his kids. It's a husband and Dad thing. Instinct kicks in and nothing is beyond his ability to protect those who he loves so deeply.
Thank you very much for reviewing. Each one brightens up my day.
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2019 02:15 PM · On: Chapter 85: Buying Good Karma
Yup! Me and Miss Lily are on the same page. She "sees" Jerry and can sense something about the man isn't kosher. And as for the Littlest Hustler, what Brian said. I hope Miss Tif doesn't break his heart.
Author's Response: Lily is very shart and her child will be hell on wheels. Dispite some reservation by others, Hunter and Tiff are the real deal, truly one spirit forever.
love and BIG hug,
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2019 01:32 PM · On: Chapter 80: Yes
Yikes! I don't know about this chapter. I love how Jerry stepped up to get his kids away from their Monster Mom. But the way he used his guy to apply Black Flag and RAID to rid them of the bug problem that was Mark's mom, IDK. It puts him in a different light, I didn't think he was so ruthless. And I'm kind of leery about the way he could possibly deal with his son's crush on his boy Mark. Still loving this story, though.
Author's Response: Mark's Mom forefited her life with the lifestyle she chose to live, without thinking about the family she was seriously harming. Paying her off was just a setup for future blackmail once the money was gone. The bigger a star Mark became, the more she could demand, and still as alive, she remained a serious threat to Mark's career and the studio productions with him. He made a business decision. She was already dead in Mark's eyes. And remember, she reached out for money to Jerry first, thus drawing first blood from Mark. Jerry will do anything to protect his lover and kids. Even hire an exterminator if needed.
Jerry never discovered his son's crush on Mark. Soon his son will have a playmate and Mark will be just another Dad.
bob
Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: May 25, 2019 04:22 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets
Love it
Author's Response: Thank you! I love you, too.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2018 01:38 AM · On: Chapter 47: Big Bananas
Kinnetik is making money hand over fist. But are you seriously turning Mikey into a crack fiend? I can't deal with him. I'm so done. "Wall slide!"
Author's Response: Michael will not continue his high life, and even redeems himself later in the story. Making money for Kinnetik is a stable of this plot. Enjoy! Thanks for the comments.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2018 05:38 PM · On: Billionaire's Puppy
I thought Mark and Tony were going to be the re-boot of the Brian and Justin show. I hope I don't sound too judging if I agree with Debbie that there is nothing more fickle than a fag. I hope Jerry takes care of Justin's Mini-Me.
Author's Response:
Please excuse the tardy response.
"..... there is nothing more fickle than a fag."
HEY! I resemble that remark. As I get older and wiser - not so much anymore.
Jerry will create the richest sugar baby in Malibu! And a very happy teenage twink, too.
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2018 04:05 PM · On: Chapter 23: Kinnetik Kindergarten
Michael needs to seriously think about nominating Justin for sainthood. It soooo true, God does look out for fools like Mikey and children. Just sayin'...
Author's Response: Sadly Michael does not appreciate what someone does for him until very late in life.
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2018 12:18 AM · On: Chapter 17: Revenge
Michael got a second chance and he blew it...Buh Bye, Mikey.
As for Hobbes, revenge is sweet and he got his just deserts.
Author's Response: Did you notice the sub-plot in this chapter? Jerry can make art from real life, and make real life match the art.
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2018 11:39 PM · On: Chapter 15: The New Family
I wonder how long it will be before Angel delivers that beat down on wittle Mikey's ignorant ungrateful carcass?
Author's Response: He gets a promotion before that happens.
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2018 10:49 PM · On: Chapter 14: Kinnetik Diversity
What Justin did for Alvin Jones made me tear up but I blamed it on my allergies. Michael's young handler is going places.
Author's Response: Let me begin with my sincere graditude for your chapter reviews that are detailed and sharing your reading experience. Alvin Jones appears and grows in the future.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2018 10:34 PM · On: Chapter 13: Kinnetik Justice
OMG AND YES I AM SHOUTING! Ok so, Brian's proposal to Justin was too cute for words. Then I got so scared when Big Ed and the Sap were released from prison until they received their comeuppance. But Brian serving as the judge, jury, and executioner for those two thugs blew me away. You knocked that one right out of the park.
Author's Response: Anyone who threatens his lover has a date with eternity very soon. Anyone who threatens his kids will have the same fate. And remember, the attorney also had a stake with dealing with Big Ed. And the cops must have given them the green light to clean the house. Therefore; the fastest cold case files in history.
bob
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2018 12:48 PM · On: Chapter 11: Angel on his Shoulder
I didn't see this one coming. I'm glad the guys sprang Michael. Angel has his work cut out for him.
Author's Response: Knowing Michael he's going to mess this up. Their will be more to that part of the story soon. Thank you very much for the chapter comments. Truly.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 12, 2018 07:09 AM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting
Michael is a monster and I hope the police let Brian take him out. This story has me clutching my pearls and hyperventilating. Great job!
Author's Response: At best, Michael is the definition of idiot; however, this is how Brian decides to deal with him at the moment.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 11, 2018 07:10 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets
Wow! This chapter has stuff flying all over the place.as for Mikey and Lindz, lock them up and throw away the key.
Author's Response: When it rains, it pours. The fate for those two are soon completed, at least for the beginning of their saga downward.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 11, 2018 04:20 PM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear
I knew it! Not one but two flies in the ointment. Liar Lindsay and Malicious Michael.
Author's Response: Yes, sort of a double plot happening here.
Reviewer: Enohvee1875 (Signed) · Date: November 11, 2018 03:40 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
I am loving this story already. The guys came to their senses and are together. But, how long before someone or something separates them again?
Author's Response: This long epic tale was written very fast while I was in quite the creative mood. Thank you very much for the reviews. It warms my heart to see new comments on one of my oldest works.
Reviewer: rukia12 (Anonymous) · Date: April 28, 2016 06:03 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
honestly i loved it really. thank you for all your work
Author's Response: Please pardon my tardy response! Very happy to see your review and see this story being entertaining still to people, rukia12.
Reviewer: vic32 (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2016 10:16 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
Wow was some story, I loved everything about it x from chapter 1 up to the last. It had everything you could dream of in a story. Excellent work seriously excellent
Author's Response: Once again I must ask to be excused for being late in responding to your review comment. Thank you for the kind words; you made my day. Looking back I wish I had done a better ending but I was burned out writing that epic tale and just had to end it and take a long break. Glad to see you sharing your work on Whispers, vic32. I don't write anymore or read much since I'm the tech support for this website and others which leaves me very little time to do stuff like fan fiction. If you can handle a crack!fic, may I suggest my story "Embraced" with a vampire Brian and his slave Justin.
Reviewer: vic32 (Signed) · Date: April 12, 2016 12:02 PM · On: Chapter 67: Ireland
I'm loving this story so much and I am from Limerick Ireland so was so thrilled to see it pop up here.
Author's Response: Thank you! My ancestors come from Ireland and Scotland.
Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 24, 2015 01:29 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
Thanks for your responses to my reviews! Always good to have a review conversation with the author.
Yes, you're right that Melanie and Lindsay moved to Canada for safety in a more gay-friendly environment. My issues with the move were: 1) I didn't see how moving away from their friends and family would make things better. Their relationship had been on shaky ground and they--at least partially--resolved to try again because they were scared to lose each other in the aftermath of the bombing. I don't see, however, how that would resolve the underlying problems, especially considering the distance from friends and family. 2) Lindsay was always pretty adamant about Brian playing a part in Gus' life. Sure, he could fly in for visits, but that would likely be limited to 1-2 times per month. And if Lindsay really wanted Brian involved as Gus' father (regardless of having given up his legal rights to get rid of Guy and keep Linds and Mel together), she wouldn't take Gus so far away.
I hope to soon have time to escape from real life and enjoy more of your story! Always a pleasure to enter the world of an interesting QAF fanfic.
Author's Response:
I recall responding to this review but perhaps I forgot to submit my comments. Please excuse the delay.
Thank you for your clairfication of the canon issues which you certainly have an excellent grasp about them. I'm rapidly approaching the age when I'll have forgotten more than I ever learned! :)
Do enjoy the story and I'd love to hear from you on the way.
~bob
Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2015 06:05 AM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting
While I thought both Lindsay and Michael manipulative and annoying, I didn't picture them as evil...and they both are in this story. Michael always seemed a bit of a dim bulb and incredibly whiny. Lindsay seemed pretty smart and definitely yearned after Brian, wanting to create her fantasy of the perfect family.
I never could figure out how moving to Canada would do much to solve Lindsay and Melanie's problems in the long term. The underlying problems wouldn't go away, and it was cruel to take Gus away from Brian, especially since Lindsay manipulated the situtation with Justin so he'd go to NYC.
Author's Response: I recall in the show that the move to Canada was more the result of the anti-gay environment growing in the USA at the time so the girls wanted to escape that stuff. Am I right?
Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2015 05:18 AM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear
I know Lindsay was good to Justin initially, but then I felt like she became possessive of Brian and wanted to separate the two of them, as well as living vicariously through Justin as an artist in NYC. Personally, I liked Mel far more than Linsday.
Author's Response: Me too. Lindsay seem so two faced to me, and plotting against Brian due to her being in love with him or something more creepy.
Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2015 04:47 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
I just discovered this story and really like the opening chapter...with many more chapters to enjoy. It always made sense to me that Justin would work with Brian; it's not as though he can't paint, too. Plus, he doesn't have to be in NYC to make it as an artist.
It's also good to see Michael put in his place, although I'm sure that hasn't happened in its entirety in this first chapter. Brian's loyalty to his friends was commendable but the codependence (with Michael and somewhat with Lindsay) was unhealthy. If his so-called friends truly wanted Brian to grow up, they shouldn't have tried to manipulate him and hold him back at the same time. Emmett and Ted were the true friends, not Michael and Lindsay.
Author's Response: A huge thank you for reviewing this older epic tale. I'm not a good writer; however, I do have a vivid imagination where it is apparent in this story. It will go places where no one has ever gone before. Things move very fast too, so you should not get bored along the way. In reflection I may have too many characters overall, and it might help to keep a notepad of each new one if you don't want to get confused. Totally not necessary; you can just read over the names and flow with the plot. Do enjoy and thanks again for the chapter reviews.
bob
Reviewer: Diana (Anonymous) · Date: September 16, 2015 01:29 PM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street
Hi,
I've just begun to read your story and i'm already completely blown away.
I'm sooooo happy that i discovered the story so late as i have so many chapters to read :)
I love the storyline and i'm really impressed with all the details you bring up all the time, regarding advertising contracts, tax, comission fees and all. You must have a great knowledge of these things.
Well, just wanted to let you know that i love the story and i'm looking forward to read the rest of the chapters.
Keep going! *thumbs-up*
Diana
Author's Response: Hello Diana,
Thank you for reading and reviewing this epic tale. My background includes living with a man once who owned an advertising agency in California. And I have some history with real estate which taught me much on the business side of things. Then there's story research I needed to learn to make the plot work with reasonable facts. I do hope you enjoy the tale and review again.
bob
Reviewer: Alnwick (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2015 08:15 PM · On: Chapter 19: New Beginnings
New age, psychic anhauser Busch. God I love it!
Author's Response: Another missed response due to no email notices. Better late than never.
The supernatural is very real for people who see and hear it working.
Thank you for the review; please enjoy the novel.
bob
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 06, 2015 05:13 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
Hey Bob,
What a behemoth this story is and you wrote it in only four months!
By your responses to prior reviews you already know you aren't Earnest Hemingway but still, I love what you did. (a Farewell to Arms is overrated anyways) It's like you took every crazy thought anyone secretly had and put them into one story. Michael sucking bad cheese head? Brilliant! God I love fanfiction!
I may leave additional reviews as I go through more chapters. I have at least 180 more opportunities to do so.
Thanks for all your creativity and many, many, many plot lines.
Deb
Author's Response: Gosh! How did this review get by me? We have issues with the email notices at times. Thank you very much for reading and commenting. My greatest regret for this story is how it ended; I like was just burned out and stopped with a sizzle instead of a swan song ending with a bang.
Currently I'm into planning the code for a totally new version of Whispers both as a website and mobile site. If I can ever finish it I'm certain that it will be most interesting and useful. For example, making stories in Kindle reading format, personalizing profile pages, chat rooms, interest groups, photo and video albums, etc.
Hugs,
bob
Reviewer: Emily (Anonymous) · Date: February 08, 2015 10:02 PM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street
THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORY EVER...! I really like how it is long enough so that you can really get into the story, whilst not getting boring and repetitive...! THANK YOU...!
Author's Response: Would you believe I wrote that monster in under 4 months. Then they adjusted my medication!
I burned out at the end and didn't give it a climax ending but got to say pretty much what I wanted. I tried to keep the character count under a hundred :D
If you want to read my crackfic days, try Embraced. I'm told it's wicked and so bad - it's good.
Hugs,
bob
Reviewer: Cristina (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2015 01:31 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
This story is amazing i really enjoy it, so creative the way you board in all the questions of the day life throughout the history! Liked the introduction of religion, i had the catholic education but sincerely i think that they are surrounded by hypocrisy.. the way that i see it why do we have to follow one book written thousands of years that interpretacion cause so many controversies and wars, in the end is all about love and understanding! Loved to see Justin Brian become like equals in the business and pull all his friends & family straight up with them, i admit that i was feel confused with all the characters i had to go back backward sometimes,but i had so much fun with it thank you! :) please consider writing in the future again ;) :)
Ps. sorry my english :)
Author's Response: Hello Cristina,
Thank You! very much for your review comments. It warms my heart to see an old story still being read and enjoyed.
Don't be too hard on the Church. They did keep Christianity alive during some very dark ages for centuries. Granted, they changed some things but for the most part I believe most of the Bible is accurate, allowing for some errors in translations, coping, and such. Personally, I'm a student of Biblical Studies and hold a very high respect for the scriptures. I like to think the original manuscripts were accurate; however, all we have today is copies of copies of copies, and man has made some changes here and there over time for political and theological reasons.
I might also add that the Church created schools, hospitals, universities, and missions globally before any body else thought to help the poor around the world. Yes they made mistakes and performed wars at times, but they also did a great amount of good as well - all things considered.
It made my day to read your comment.
Hugs,
bob
Reviewer: JBY (Signed) · Date: September 27, 2014 09:28 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
Hi, I'm fairly new to this pairing and absolutely love them. In the past I came from fandoms like Buffy or I should say Spuffy ;). I used to write fan fiction myself until RL just took over. I did, however, Beta for those instead. I say this with the utmost sincerest apology for the constructive criticism I'm about to impart to you. And yes, I'm well aware that you no longer write and I've read most of the comments.
You have an amazing story. I give you tons of credit for the patience and creativity for that alone. I do agree with some other reviewers it is too jam packed with other characters that you do lose sight of who the fan fiction should be about: Brian and Justin. The wedding was such a bummer. In it Brian and Justin's honeymoon is so downplayed and taken over because of Jerry and Mark. I was soooo puzzled by this. I understand original characters and, well, writing original stories, but this should have been about them.
This story seems to be a grocery list of fantastical elements of being rich and getting success and not enough of character growth. Let me explain as I'm only on chapter 49. I usually read pretty darn fast and some things do have me scratching my head and honestly having me skim most which is making me read this slower than I normally do. I hate doing that. Which parts do I skim? ANYTHING remotely close to religion. Not my cup of tea. I believe in a higher power and spiritual growth, but religion to me is just something I can't get into and I was brought up Catholic. So aside from my beliefs those aspects of your story I skim over, sorry! I'm sure it's a huge thing for gay communities, but I think it's always been a huge thing period and not just about gays. I think this is why most ARE commenting on the fact of racism and sexism. It is slightly there, but hey it IS your story!
But I digress back to what I was saying about religion... It's why there are cults. To me religion lost its belief and moved right into cult like aspects and with no way of coming back to what it should be. Sad, very sad. I don't know if this makes me an atheist, but I just don't read or like to be preached at. You somewhat do that in certain parts. It is one of the reasons why I stopped reading a certain main stream author's newer style of writing. It was too preachy. I shudder at that. BUT I do get these are your beliefs and so this is why I skim. You have every right to those beliefs. I commend you on them even...doesn't mean I like or follow them LOL!
That aside, yes you do have quite a bit of grammatical, spelling, and errors in this. You are not a lousy writer. Yes, I read your comment, lol! It needs to be polished, definitely. HOWEVER, it doesn't take away from the story at all. Are they noticeable? Yes. Can they be overlooked so the reader can continue reading? Absolutely! It's fan fiction not a Pulitzer piece of writing. It's fun and edgy and takes things outside the box! It's a creative piece of art. And I'm only a quarter in. I truly think it could have been condensed and I so wish I had found QAF Brian and Justin back when it was out, but I wasn't. And I wasn't into M/M then. I wasn't against it, but I never thought about it. Now I'm obsessed lol. I'm a straight single mom, but I've totally changed my view about things. Open minded (although I've always been that way) and open to constant change. Which this world is so divided with. Oh well...maybe one day!
I would have liked to have beta'd for you. I'm a detailed person, but your story is in an overabundance of those details. That grocery list. It could have been broken down as the changes were being made to Kinnetic. It makes me worry as I read some comments about all that success and Kinnetic is given to someone else? But, I will eventually finish and find out what that actually means. I just think it's too drawn out. This story would have been even more awesome if you had split it up. I do like how you split the scenes. I'm just still pouting that Brian and Justin take a more background, yet still in the front weirdly enough, role. It's almost like they are a side note which is a shame. A perfect example of blending supporting characters is Predec2's The Wedding Present's world. I know the second part of that series is more of Fin and Tony, but it was gradual and it flowed right in. Sadly, this is the missing factor with your saga. The blending of those supporting characters to blend with the leads. It seems to be going backwards and making me miss Brian's smart witty sarcasm and Justin's independence and strong personality. Character development did need work, but I still AM amazed at this incredible story! If you ever want to re-work or update this, I'd definitely love to help you out! Amazing work!
Author's Response: I promised a response with my message to you and here it is, alas a brief one since RL is still dominating my time.
I greatly appreciate you taking the time to provide such outstanding comments - corrections - advice - wisdom, regarding this story which frankly flowed out of me in a matter of a handful of months. Every fault you mentioned was true. I have no complaint whatsoever with your assessment. And you're too kind; I am a lousy writer! I've read many people in fan fiction who are just incredible with character and plot development. This story ends in a whimper when I burned out and had to bring it to a close. How did it drift from B&J? My bad; I just let my imagination run wild and wrote what flowed from me at the time. It was literally a work of magic writing with no true structure, form, or direction. I did plan to address the religious stuff since no one has ever done it with gay fan faction before to my knowledge. That part of the story got a lot of notice way beyond our little fan fiction universe. I'm not at liberty to say how high up the food chain this went but I can say it shocked me when it happened, and adding to the debate was my goal and for that it was a success.
Be careful what you ask for! If you really do want to redo this epic tale, than go for it. You should be able to copy and paste each chapter in WORD or something and just send me the revised chapter. I'll update each chapter as you work it over. If you want to really redo the story, I'm down for that too, and will share co-author credit for you once we post the completed thing back online like a new revised version of the tale. I'm prepared to give you a blank check to change or remove anything you don't like, including the religion stuff. I'll be very easy to work with. However, this will be a huge undertaking if you decide to take it own. And we have time - it doesn't have to be finished in some quick time line.
I don't write fan fiction anymore. I have many skillets on the stove as it is and have no time for such pleasure again. And I was slowed down by health for a long time before a heart surgery got me back into the game of life again. You should have my private email address if you kept it, or just use the Contact Us feature from Whispers. I get those messages first since most of them or technical and for others, I forward to Kim.
Thank you very much for your review JBY. Give it some thought, and let me know how you decide.
bob
Reviewer: vlsope2@yahoo.com (Anonymous) · Date: August 04, 2014 04:41 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
After the third try I finished your story-- I loved Brian and Justin and the Lindsey mess, I enjoy anything to do with Gus, his Hershey ad was delightful and his interview with "ohpa" was so sweet. I liked the relationship with Mel and Brian, still witty but not anger driven. The parts I did't care for were large amount of characters, I finally had to write them down and who fucked who and who was bi and who was gay,keeping up the surrogates and which child belonged to whom--it took a lot of time and was distracting, also all the church stuff was too much, in other storiest by different authors handled the hate mongers and was less detailed one comes to mind is Prego stud it touched on hateful people who use their faith as a weapon against others out of fear or just feeling they are so better than others. I read your work when ever I spot it and always enjoy-sorry I'm critical over some your story for the most part I loved it-hope I don't sound mean or harsh I don't mean to.
Author's Response: I totally understand the faults of this story. It wasn't planned but instead just flowed out of me like a rushing river of words. Heck, even I got mixed up with the characters at times and had to go back and read what was written to try and keep it all straight. The Bible stuff was to share with the fan fiction community the theology of gay Christians who have a large source of evidence that give a totally different new light on the Bible and Homosexuality. Gay men and boys existed at the time of Christ and were called naturally born eunuchs (Matthew 19:12). That name was still in use by the early Church in 400 AD that I'm aware of. Well they don't tell you that in Sunday School so someone has to share the evidence and put a new light on the Word. The Bible has been used to promote wars, genocides, slavery, and more recently even making interracial marriage a crime. Now they still try to use it against gays and I predict that some way they'll figure out how to use some verses to battle illegal aliens too, since they seem to be the next politically correct targets for the masses.
To my knowledge this QAF story is the only one that has attempted to bring Christian Gay Theology to the reading public of fan fiction. It seems to have been very popular and remains today the most read story on Whispers.
bob
Reviewer: debbie (Anonymous) · Date: June 15, 2014 03:40 PM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel
Bob,
I love all your stories.
I hope you are planning to write more.
Thanks!
Debbie
Author's Response: Thank you for commenting. Due to RL matters I have no plans to write again at this time.
Reviewer: jacket8 (Anonymous) · Date: May 19, 2014 02:26 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
Dear Bob - I have just finished reading Forever Yours for the fourth time. What can I say, you are an incredible story teller. One big question? About 3 years ago I read a story about Brian and Justin that was really excellent but also different. It was very long and had Justin becoming wealthy thru his art work alone. It also had something called "landing" and delt with Brian and Justin having additional close relations with other men while also keeping their relationship primary. Like this story it had sub stories, photos and had the two investing and becoming very wealthy. I just loved it. The way it was written made me think that you were also the author. I have looked for it, but never found it again. Are you the arthor and if you are, where can I find it? Please reply.
Author's Response: What an honor that you would read this monster size story 4 times! I can't remember the name of the other story but yes, I wrote it and decided to take it off line. Basically it went too far revealing things that were not my secrets to share. I had a copy of it on a thumb drive but an ex-roommate used the thumb drive and erased it so now I don't have a copy of it anywhere. I wish I had better news for you but that one is probably gone. Thank you very much for your comments.
Reviewer: BrianNJustin (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2014 03:59 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
Just finish all the chapters, took me a while but finally anyway I like it but I just have some few corrections.
1. There are a lot of grammar and spelling mistake.
2. Some dialogue doesn't make sense.
3. You have too many supporting characters and because of that you had a hard time keeping tract of them. for example. Frenchie was jerry and Mark's Chef but in one chapter he became Brian and Justin's chef?
4. You have character with the same name but different spelling. You had accidentally put Trey as the Chef when it was suppose to be Tray.
I hope your not mad, I do like your story but I think this are some of the things you need to be aware of so you won't have the same mistake again in your story.
Anyway I'm off to read your story embraced. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it quickly.
Author's Response: Thanks BrianNJustin for your review. Everything you say is true. I'm a lousy writer and will be the first to admit it. I'm working on a B.S. degree and don't write fan fiction anymore.
Reviewer: Elly (Anonymous) · Date: April 22, 2014 04:02 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
It's a great story with a very beautiful storyline, thank you so much!!!
I will miss them!!!
Author's Response: Hello Elly,
It warms my heart to see some dust fly off one of the older stories as a new review lands there. You're so kind to give a comment, and one so gracious too. Thank you for the smile.
bob
Reviewer: Tash (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2014 12:29 AM · On: Chapter 33: Wedding Night
OMG that was HOT
Author's Response: Glad you liked it. Thank you for reading and comment Tash.
Reviewer: Tash (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2014 12:11 AM · On: Billionaire's Puppy
OMG I love jerry and mark
Author's Response: me 2
Reviewer: Tash (Anonymous) · Date: April 03, 2014 02:00 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets
OMG that was so intense but extremely well written I couldn't stop tearing up
Author's Response: Thank you Tash; I can't say how many times I've read that chapter and wondered 'did I write that?'
Reviewer: Amber (Anonymous) · Date: November 04, 2013 04:38 PM · On: Chapter 115: Zoloft for Dogs
I've loved the story up until now you give such great description and suck detail to everything!!!!!!! But I'm very disappointed that you brought Lindsay back into the picture, I feel she should have gone to prison and been out of there lives, I'm strongly thinking about whether to continue reading this story, now that she is back in the picture.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I assure you that Lindsay does not get off easy, and realize that multiple subplots or in the story.
Reviewer: MAFITA (Signed) · Date: June 23, 2013 05:57 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
It took me a really long time, but I finally managed to finish this story.... All I can really say is that I absolutely LOVED it and it was worth every second I spent reading it! :D The only thing that got me sad was Hunter's death T_T.... Anyway, hope to read you soon in another story! :D Kisses!
Author's Response: Due to health I got behind on answering reviews. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.
Reviewer: Tagsit (Anonymous) · Date: April 21, 2013 02:33 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
I love a really long story. This one kept me busy for a whole week! Thanks for writing! TAG
Author's Response: Forgive my late response. I don't do much but sleep lately. Thanks Tag for reading and commenting. This one is long!
Reviewer: Blanca (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2013 01:33 AM · On: Chapter 17: Revenge
I love this chapter!!! Thanks!
Author's Response: Better late than never. Sorry I missed this review back then and the only excuse I have was poor health back then.
Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 10:30 AM · On: Chapter 5: Here Comes the Judge
ewww. I wish all the disgusting info about Sap was pure morbid fantasy... but it is true and happening around us right now. :(
I am just going to assume Debbie's OOC behaviour to her son is shock.
Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 06:36 AM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets
Its nice to actually LIKE Mel for a change.
Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 06:05 AM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear
“Goodbye Michael.” Justin said as Brian just stared at his old friend as he left the diner.
“Don’t trust him Justin; I can see it in his eyes when he’s up to something.”
“He asked me out tonight for drinks.”
“Did he ask for both of us to go?”
“No just me Brian.”
“Don’t do it. I’m taking him out of our lives completely. Our friendship is over.”
This was shockingly abrupt, and really without warning. Mikey hasn't done anything different at all than what he always does. I guess Brian just had enough and HE has changed in how he is handling things.
The ending makes me so sad. :(
Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 05:31 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over
*snort*
I don't know why I get such a kick out of Ted's glee, watching his boss be happy.
I felt like reading something familiar, so I'm rereading this story. I'd forgotten how brisk the pace you set is. I like the story line moves so fast, but as a woman I kinda miss the quiet, sweetness the guys could, at moments, have together. Its interesting to get a guy writer's POV.
Reviewer: Taire (Anonymous) · Date: August 27, 2012 03:58 AM · On: Chapter 143: Patrick, 14
I watched Patrick 1.5 and loved it.
Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: August 23, 2012 05:13 AM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street
I certainly hope MIkey stays in Canada and not return to the Pitts.
Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: August 22, 2012 10:35 PM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel
I am really enjoying this story.
Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: August 22, 2012 08:18 AM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting
This story is amazing. Will finish reading it tomorrow. Thanks for writing it.
Reviewer: taire (Anonymous) · Date: August 16, 2012 10:38 AM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street
Michael is so freakimg stupid. What a moron. He deserves what coming to him.
Author's Response: I really broke it off in Michael in this story :) Thank you for commenting Taire
Reviewer: taire (Anonymous) · Date: August 15, 2012 04:27 AM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel
I'm late to the party for this story, but I love it.
Author's Response:
Hello there, and welcome to the party. It's truly wonderful to see a review comment pop up on one of the older tales - it lets me know people are still reading it. Enjoy and thank you.
Reviewer: Neoisevil (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2012 01:24 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion
My friend told me about this site two days ago and said i had to read this story and since i found it i spent my free time reading it and finished it. I love this story and cant wait to see what other stories this site have. I am a big qaf fan but my fav site shut down a while ago i went looking for new cites cuz i totally hate how they ended the show... I am rambling anyways awesomw
Author's Response: How wonderful of you to read and comment Neoisevil (love the pen name too). I was amazed how popular this story was and still is since it has passes 311,000 reads to date. My vampire story "Embraced" was also very popular but a bit like a crack fic however - it's very weird at times :) Thank you very much for joining Whispers, reading and commenting.
Reviewer: FREDDY335 (Anonymous) · Date: June 18, 2012 05:00 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets
Congratulations! This story is beautiful and very immersive. I cried reading the scene where Gus is visited by a doctor. Brava!
Sorry for English but not speak it and then use the Google translator.
Hello ..
Author's Response: Thank you for commenting and no problem using a translator online. Google is pretty good at it.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2012 08:20 AM · On: Chapter 48: Changes
Kinnitek is growing by leaps and bounds. First with a jet plane then with limos. Now there's a baby to come into the mix
Author's Response: Thank you very much for all the wonderful comments. Forgive my late reply - I don't get messages alerting me of new reviews and it's been awhile since I checked. I really appreciate you comments very much.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2012 07:40 PM · On: Chapter 47: Big Bananas
Everybody is doing great except Michael. He's digging himself another whole. How stupid can the man be???
Author's Response: Spoiler alert!
Michael recovers in time and gains a good life.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2012 07:33 PM · On: Chapter 46: Golden Chariot
Poor Michael. It sucks to be him.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2012 07:26 PM · On: Chapter 45: Malibu
Brian's reduced to one word answers? lol. Michael seems to be reverting to his whiny self. Mark and Jerry are becoming a big part in this story. Shame Jerry and Ben didn't get together. Then they could be Ben & Jerry. giggle. I want a Frenchie and a jet!!!
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2012 08:55 AM · On: Chapter 44: Who Wants a Job?
I can't see Vance screwing this up. Looks like Kinnetik did good. Shame Gus doesn't get to go to west coast, but at least he gets to see Ireland
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2012 08:30 AM · On: Chapter 43: Surf with me Rage
I like, I like.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 09:21 PM · On: Chapter 42: Surf with Me
Wish I had the money to not care what anything cost.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 12:06 PM · On: Chapter 41: Think with your dip stick, Jimmy.
It's a good thing Brian owns that building. Otherwise there would be no place to put anything.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 11:50 AM · On: Chapter 40: Growing Pains
This expansion is a great story line. The hamster must have been working overtime.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 09:00 AM · On: Chapter 39: Read All About It !
I never did like Vance Gardner
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 08:42 AM · On: Chapter 38: We Can’t Afford Lunch
"We're in the Money. We're in the Money." Now so is Jen
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 08:25 AM · On: Who's for Dinner?
That's a lot of money coming and going. Glad to see Gus was all right and that Kinney Kiddy land will be getting more help.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 07:39 AM · On: Chapter 36: All Choked Up
Hot Damn, free cars. what have you done to Gus!!!!
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 07:24 AM · On: Chapter 35: A Star is Born
If I remember rightly Mark and Jerry get a lot of play in this story.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 31, 2012 10:43 AM · On: Chapter 34: Rodeo Drive
Mark sure got lucky. Emmett gives good advice. Love the parts with Gus.
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