Midnight Whispers :: QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

Reviews For Embraced

Reviewer: Jane (Anonymous) · Date: May 01, 2009 06:28 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

I liked this chapter very much. FYI Trump World Tower has only 72 floors but this is fiction so whatever.
The double meaning at the end between Jordan and Brian was most interesting.

Author's Response: I didn't want to make anyone living in the tower a vampire! Thus a ficticious floor. Victor is too proud to admit he has a problem so he speaks double talk as he seeks help. Thanks for reviewing.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 02:31 PM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

For anyone who thinks Brian is sharing Justin for wealth study the final lines of this chaper and READ BETWEEN THE LINES.
Hint: Real estate and Units or Embraced Lovers
Justin's CREAM is his WISDOM.
Justin is just sticking his toe in the flesh pot for Cajsa to grab on to so they can save him.
“Brian, you and I have real estate business to discuss.” Cajsa went back to sucking Justin’s cock.

“As long as my embraced isn’t on the table, we very well can.” Brian said firmly.

“Cajsa, save that load for me boy. Oh course Brian; I wouldn’t think of it.”

“We are interested in becoming neighbors with you Jordan.”

“If my kitten can get a cup of fresh cream from time to time, my unit has your name on it free and clearer.”

“As a lover of a kitten myself, I would be cruel to deny yours his wise nourishment.” Brian said grinning.

Justin smiled and shot a massive load again into Cajsa’s eager mouth. The boy held the load and passed it to his master in a kiss. Then Cajsa went back to loving Justin’s delicious cock some more.

"I don’t require a grand palace; just a simple unit perhaps with an east view would be wonderful.” Brian said.

“That’s not accurate Brian; your unit is on the other end of the building identical to mine.” Brian looked at Cajsa sucking hard on Justin’s cock and grinned.

“Yes, our units do have a lot in common Jordan. We are very lucky vampires.” Jordan extended his wrist again for Brian to feed his ancient blood and Brian began to take his second massive load of power.

Justin smiled wickedly and blasted the little boy’s mouth with a drowning load of his honey sweet seed shooting cum out the boy’s nose. Cajsa groaned in erotic happiness.

(Which embraced boy is learning to smell the coffee first by cream of wisdom?"
“Welcome to your city Brian; New York is at your feet.”
"And at my feed. One of our units will be changing." Both vampires laughed.
I hope it clears it up for some of you.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 12:04 PM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

The writer has this review box to share comments or to explain a story.
Brian and Justin are very much in love and it will not change. They are powerful and wise, and are expanding their relationship to networking with good people and help each other. I don't feel the story has anywhere to go if it's only about smut and violence. I strive to give the readers the sex reads they want and a good plot to enjoy with a meaning.
I've learned a valuable lesso tonight not to assume my readers understand my hidden sub-plots without enough clues. I've written so much graphic the real plot got lost along the way. My only excuse is I'm new to writing as this is only my second story to attempt.
I hoped to expand to realities of real gay living in this story. If it proves not to be popular I'll stop writing it.
Where I got off track: Without explaining it in the story Justin and Brain become friends with Jordan and silently agree to help him with Cajsa who is too deep in the NY embraced sex scene. Brian is not encourging Justin to join it but to rapidly understand it. Justin will not change his principles he will in fact change the scene in NY.
I failed to leave enough clues to show the intentions outright. It's a fine line to create a good story without giving it away too soon. I may have failed by only making the sex look important and making it look like Justin and Brian were going to whore around now. I failed to hold my own plot line. I'm learning and will accept my mistakes and try to do better for my readers. Thank you.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 11:26 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

I almost lost my cool and spoiled the story.
My bad.
Justin will save Cajsa. If you like the story please trust me to make a very good ending of developments.
Sometimes we do things for the geater good and Justin is doing that with Cajsa.
I removed the statements almost spoiling the story. I've been up almost three days bringing readers fast updates.
I should not have lost my cool.

Author's Response: I'm writing in an area I've personally seen determine if some boys live or die. I got too emotional with my own story. I hope you can appreciate the gravity of the plot and overlook my tired emotions. Thank you.

Reviewer: Joey (Anonymous) · Date: April 25, 2009 10:21 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

I just got caught up on all the chapters, wow so much is happening. I am not liking the Cajsa/Justin stuff though so I will skip those chapters in future.

Author's Response: I can't please everyone Joey. Justin will be a very positive influence on Cajsa and could not change him with out being close to him. If you were a gay boy or man you would better understand the importance of networking for gay young people. Cajsa is a whore now looking for something he needs and Justin will show the error of his ways and give him what he needs. It's going to be a very important relationship and these two couples B/J and J/C or going to be very powerful together in the future. It would not happen without Justin helping Cajsa. In history empires were created and wars were fought over because of the hearts and love of beautiful boys.

Reviewer: Justin's boi (Anonymous) · Date: April 25, 2009 09:37 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

Forgot to review this chappie.
Loved the orgy scene. Cajsa a little whore boy and a half; he's such a slut!
A multi-million dollar condo in NY for some kittie cream is a very good deal!

Author's Response: See how far a vampire will go to please his embraced boy? Cajsa is a slut big time but it's ok in NY for the embraced to play dirty together. He is the most powerful embraced human in NY until Justin arrives.

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 09:36 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

LOVE Cajsa and Jordon. But I have to tell you...MY ass is getting sore with all that fucking Brian is doing to Justin! LOL

Author's Response: As one who once was a happy bottom with an older lover many moons ago, I assure you we can take it with pride!

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 08:32 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

fun chapter, but i wanted to see the way a vampire who killed an innocent got his just dues.
i'm not crazy about cajsa, seems sneaky to me.

Author's Response:
Have you ever been bitten by a fire ant? Trust me that was a very bad way to die.
Casja is brilliant and talented. He manages billions for his master. He's honest, but just a little over-sexed.
Justin will be a very positive influence on Casja. When our lovers get sick of Pittsburgh they have NY to play in now and don't have to deal with their coven's crap when out of town. This new NY friendship is positive. Trust me.

Reviewer: Vikinglass24 (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 06:41 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

Oh my god! That was ****ing hot! You love ly man you. MORE MORE MORE. But don't tire yourself out. I like you and your stories too much to lose you(I mean this in a purely fag hag kind of way. In my opinion I would be kinda like Daphne in a way without asking my friend to sleep with me. That's a little weird.) Look forward to more.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Author's Response: Just took care of whinny boy and now headed to eat and sleep.

Reviewer: Vikinglass24 (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 06:15 AM · On: Chapter 15: Happy Death Day

That was hot! MORE MORE MORE. Are you going to write more on this chapter or leave it like it is? Whatever you do is fine with me. Can't wait to read more. The part where it's all clumped together, makes it a little hard to read though, maybe if you get a chance, could you fix that part? It would just make it easier to read. Love ya lots! I await more of your fantastic story.
XOXOXOXOXOXO

Author's Response: You were reading as I was posting it. It's all fixed now. I may go back and beta it again though. Please over look the typos. I gettng tired.

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