I'm really sorry about this late update guys, but RL has been extra busy; I promise the next (and last) chapter is coming soon! :) Love to all of you!
Huge thanks to Becky, my great beta! :)
“Fuck!” Justin yelled again, kicking the counter in frustration with full force. He didn’t care about the burning pain he felt, all he could think of was Brian’s hurt and somewhat distressed expression when he’d left. It was worse than any physical pain he could imagine; worse than anything else. Hurting the man who meant the world to him was the last thing he’d have ever done.
One thing he knew for sure; something had to be done. Something that would put an end to this inexplicable horror he’d been living in for days now. What it was he still didn’t know; all he knew was that he could hardly take it any more.
Which one was his real life? Why were these totally opposite realities tearing his sanity into pieces? Would it ever stop? These were the questions he’d been trying to find the answers to, but they remained unanswered. The unbearable pain in his head started throbbing again, so he sighed heavily and headed back to the bedroom.
He picked up the small medicine bottle which was kept on the nightstand, and took one pill. His therapist, Dr. Nyman had given it to him a few weeks ago, when Justin had gone to see him because he’d been having terrible headaches that had felt like migraines constantly. The examinations hadn’t shown any kind of physical disorder, which was a good thing really, but this fact still hadn’t eased the terrible pain the boy had been feeling. Dr. Nyman had decided to give Justin one of the strongest painkillers he’d thought would help. He had warned the blond not to take more than one pill a day, but Justin hadn’t always done as directed. All he cared about was stopping that insufferable pain, no matter how many pills it had taken.
Due to the previous events, Justin wasn’t sure anymore if these pills were real at all, if Dr. Nyman existed at all, if he’d ever had a loving relationship with Brian at all, and he suddenly found himself realizing that it didn’t really matter anymore which universe was the real one; he just wanted to live one life instead of two. He’d had enough of living a life of a split personality. He had to find out how to end this weird duality. But first, he had to lie down a bit and close his eyes; waiting for the pain to go away.
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A couple of minutes later he heard noises coming from a distance. He hoped that maybe Brian came back, letting the boy know that he wasn’t disappointed at all, wanting to show him how much he really cared.
When Justin opened his eyes to see if he was right he was suddenly petrified. He was lying in that unfamiliar bed again, staring at the cold walls he was supposed to call home. And then he remembered. If he was in that room again, then it must have been Daphne making those noises. How was he supposed to act? What was he supposed to say? He surely had hurt the girl’s feelings when he’d rejected her. That is, if he’d rejected her at all. He couldn’t remember that since it was Brian who had been at the receiving end of the boy’s refusal. ‘This is so fucked up.’ He muttered to himself as he was leaving the bedroom, scratching his head with a careworn expression on is face.
He found the girl in the small kitchen. He stopped at the doorway and watched her without a word for a while. Daphne didn’t notice the blond; she was sniffling and wiping her face from time to time. Remorse was building up in the boy – knowing that it was him who had made the girl cry was a terrible feeling. He was sure now that he’d refused the girl the last time he’d been here. Determined to break the awkward silence he gathered all his strength, cleared his throat and said quietly,
“Hey.”
The girl looked at him for a second then turned away immediately; attempting to hide the evidences of crying, but the boy didn’t miss the reddened, puffy eyes and wet face. He didn’t think he’d felt more miserable before.
“Daphne, I…” He started again but was stopped by the girl who held one hand up.
“No.” She whispered, struggling with her tears, “Don’t…please.”
“But I…” Justin tried again.
“I don’t feel like talking Justin. Get back to bed. The doctor said you have to rest.” Her voice was shaking.
“But I think we should talk.” The boy said. He hated to see his best friend like that.
“Not now. We’ll talk later.” And with that she turned her back on the boy.
Justin didn’t know what to do. He opened his mouth to say something but the sound of the doorbell cut him off.
“I’ll get it.” He mumbled and headed to the front door.
Opening the door, his stomach lurched; Brian was standing in front of him, looking stunning, as usual.
“Hey.” He said and the blond stepped aside to let him in.
“Just thought you’d like to see the place for the wedding. You could come with me if you want.” Brian said casually.
“Now?” Justin asked with a nervous smile.
“What the fuck do you think?” Brian looked at him in disbelief, “Of course now! The wedding is on Saturday, and it’s Wednesday in case you forget. So are you coming or what?”
Justin opened his mouth to answer but Daphne’s voice cut in,
“I don’t think it’s a good idea Brian.” She said sternly.
“Why is that?” Brian looked at the girl with a frown, “He’s my best man; I think he should see the place.”
“He’s not…he’s not feeling well.” Daphne’s voice sounded a bit embarrassed, “He should be getting some rest.”
“I don’t think that a quick ride would kill him Daphne. If he wants to come, he’ll come. We’ll be back soon.” Brian replied.
“But he has to…” Daphne started again, but Justin interrupted.
“Would you two stop acting like I wasn’t here?” The boy raised his voice angrily and looked at Daphne, “I’m not a five year old, I can make my own decisions, thank you very much. I’m going with Brian whether you like it or not.” Justin could see Brian raising an eyebrow at Daphne and giving her an evil smile. He definitely liked Justin’s outburst, and it made the boy feel incredibly good. The blond turned to Brian, “Give me five minutes.”
The man nodded with a smile and Justin went back to the bedroom to change his clothes.
“Don’t worry; I’ll take care of him.” Said Brian to the girl as she handed him Justin’s medicine.
“Just in case something happens.” She mumbled nervously.
“Everything will be fine.” Brian smiled at her reassuringly and the girl watched the men leaving until they disappeared at the corner of the stairway.
Feeling Brian’s arm around his shoulder while they were exiting the building made Justin deliriously happy. The man’s special scent which he loved so much filled every pore of him; it made him feel so good, so loved and…safe. Then he started to wonder; was it possible? Smelling scents in dreams, that is. Because if it wasn’t then it had to mean that….but at that moment he didn’t want to worry about that. All he wanted was to feel Brian’s touch on him forever.
Getting in the car he asked the man quietly,
“Where are we going?”
Brian looked at him for a second without speaking then he said,
“Lindsay’s uncle is the manager of a five-star hotel called ‘Paradise’. The wedding will be held there.” After a few seconds he added, “But I already told you that. You don’t remember?”
Justin shrugged and decided not to ask any more questions; it would just make him look even dumber. All that mattered that he was where he’s always supposed to be - beside Brian.
The man was talking to the blond while keeping his eyes on the road. Justin couldn’t really pay attention to what he was saying; he was just watching those full, sensual lips of Brian’s in awe, staring at them as the man kept on speaking. The lips he knew so well but still, they’d never been more inaccessible for him. The blond would have given anything to feel them once again.
“We’re here.” Brian said and they got out of the car.
Stepping in the hall, Justin was really impressed by the sight; he didn’t think he’d ever seen a more elegant place. Though he didn’t know why he was surprised; Brian always settled for the best anyway.
The receptionist greeted them politely and told them that Mr. Peterson was waiting for them on the third floor. As they stepped into the elevator Justin felt a sudden urge to throw himself at the man. It had been building up in him from the moment they had left the apartment and now, it took all of Justin’s willpower to keep it at bay. He didn’t know how long he would be able to control it. The fact that they were alone in the elevator and the feel of Brian’s body as Justin was standing beside him didn’t help either. Justin took a deep breath, trying to take his mind off his own horniness when he could feel the elevator stop. Brian pressed the button again, but nothing happened.
“Looks like we’re stuck.” Brian said.
Justin nodded; as much as he had always been scared of getting stuck in some cramped place, he was truly grateful for it now. Being stuck with Brian – he couldn’t imagine a more exciting situation. He could feel his cock getting dangerously hard.
“Fucking great.” Brian murmured and pressed the red button this time.
After a few seconds a distant voice asked for their patience and understanding, and assured them that the problem would be solved in a minute or two.
Brian ran his hands through his hair, sighing impatiently,
“They better hurry the fuck up. It’s hot in here.”
“You’re right. It’s hot.” Justin answered and couldn’t hide a wicked smile.
“What?” The man looked at him suspiciously.
Justin decided to swing into action and do what he really wanted to do. Brian could never have resisted him anyway. His aching hard on told him not to hesitate. If this was only a dream then he could do whatever he wanted. If it wasn’t…well, Brian would have to face the blond’s affection sooner or later. So why not sooner?
“You better take this off then.” Justin whispered and started to unbutton the man’s suit slowly.
At first, Brian was staring down at the long, thin artist fingers’ ministrations. Finally he asked with a hoarse voice,
“Would you mind telling me what the fuck you’re doing?” His voice sounded a bit threatening, but much to the boy’s delight he didn’t push Justin’s hands away. At least not yet. Justin took it as a sign of encouragement so he started to stroke the man’s chest while speaking seductively,
“Just thought we should busy ourselves with something...getting out of here might take a while you know?” And with that he reached down and gave the man’s groin a long stroke.
“Stop it.” Brian commanded, but he didn’t seem as convincing as the first time, when this whole nightmare had begun. The boy decided not to give up this time.
Justin pushed the man’s back against the elevator wall, leaning close to him so that their faces were only a few inches away.
“You really want me to stop?” The blond whispered as he was looking into Brian’s incredible eyes.
“I’m not a fag. I’m not into men and you know that.” Brian stated, his voice shaking slightly.
“You can make sure of that then.” Justin gave the man a predatory smile and leaned even closer.
“Get your hands off of me.” Brian protested, regaining some control, “Are you out of your mind? Attacking me like a disgusting and pathetic faggot; what the fuck are you thinking?”
Justin was holding Brian’s gaze, smiling lazily and smugly as he replied,
“I think you’re hard, Brian.” Justin pressed himself against the man’s impressive bulge, raising an eyebrow at Brian who looked embarrassed but didn’t move. The blond could feel the hot breath on his face as he leaned close and whispered into Brian’s ear, “Don’t worry. Take it as a wedding present from me.”
Justin chuckled and his lips touched Brian’s lightly. No response came. As the man tried to turn his head away Justin stopped him and made him look at him again. He kissed Brian once more, with more intensity this time. Brian still didn’t show any kind of reaction, but his resistance made the boy even more eager. Justin started to nibble at those desired, soft and delicious lips, knowing that he’d achieve his aim pretty soon. Brian could have pushed him away with a single shove. But he hadn’t done that.
Justin’s tongue was stroking the man’s lips gently but firmly, when he reached down again and started to rub Brian’s growing erection with expert movements. He smiled a bit at the thought of being the one to initiate Brian into these things and not the other way round. He really enjoyed it, he had to admit.
Brian gasped at Justin’s skilful and effective ministrations, and when the blond’s lips touched his for the third time, he parted his lips, letting the boy’s tongue in willingly.
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“I’m sorry Mr. Kinney, but Dr. Nyman is on holiday with his family, he’s not in town.” Said the friendly female voice and added, “He’ll be back only next week. But you can speak to Dr. Williams if you want.”
“No, thank you. Bye.” Brian said, sighing heavily as he put the phone down. He needed Dr. Nyman; he was the one who knew all about Justin, he was the one they trusted.
Rubbing his face with his palms, a sudden idea hit him. He pulled the table drawer out and started looking for something. After a minute of searching he found it. It was the receipt of the latest painkiller Dr. Nyman gave Justin to ease his constant headache. He didn’t know why he’d kept it but now he was glad he had done so.
He turned to his computer, typed the name of the medicine, not really knowing what he was looking for. Finding a description on the internet in a minute, he started to run through it.
…agents…application…side effects… He stopped here and started to read this part carefully. …nausea…hampered respiration…diarrhea…somnolence… Infrequent side-effects: sensory disorders (disorientation, insomnia, excitability, depression, discomfort, psychotic reactions, intense nightmares, spasms, trepidation)
Brian stared at the monitor with bated breath. Disorientation. Discomfort. Psychotic reactions. Intense nightmares. Fuck.
Many thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! :)