Thank you so much for the banner and all your help Helen!
Thank you for the beta Becky!
Chapter 1-----------
“Past cure I am, now reason is past care,
And frantic mad with evermore unrest;
My thoughts and my discourse as mad men's are,
At random from the truth vainly express'd;
For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,
Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.”
Justin stifled a yawn politely as he was leaning his back against the ragged and uncomfortable couch they had in Ethan’s apartment. It was unnecessary though, because Ethan would hardly recognize anything when he gets himself into his own mysterious world; a world Justin had never had a chance to enter. He realized a long time ago, that he’d never be able to compete with his boyfriend’s violin. ‘He spends a lot more time with his instrument than with me’ he often thought to himself, but he never had a gut to actually tell him so.
He didn’t want to sound like some ridiculous and jealous housewife, even if that statement was true. Plus he knew very well that Ethan would be offended at this comment, and he would spend the next couple of hours behind closed doors, embracing and playing his violin until his fingers start to grow stiff. Just another tiring and dramatic scene was the last thing Justin wanted. ‘His violin will always be the first thing for him’, and Justin slowly started to accept the fact, since he couldn’t do anything else.
At first he found Ethan’s obsession very romantic and inspiring, since he was an artist himself too. He thought that no one could understand him as much as another sensitive artist. He hated to admit it, but he realized quite soon that it was not as perfect as he’d thought it would be. Ethan seemed to be proud of his talented boyfriend in public, but truth be told he didn’t seem to be very interested in Justin’s work. He went to the exhibitions, he threw some intellectual remark at his boyfriend’s paintings, but Justin knew very well that he could hardly wait to get back home and play his violin again.
Not counting a couple of short-term affairs, Ethan was Justin’s first boyfriend; someone he actually lived with. They’d been together for two years now, and though Ethan’s apartment could be easily called below par; they were alone and they were together. Justin didn’t have anywhere else to go anyway since he’d left his home when his father had found out that he was meeting Ethan; he knew very well that he wouldn’t have a peaceful moment under that roof. His mother seemed to be more sympathetic, but it was not enough for him to stay. So he moved to Ethan’s.
Roses and boxes of chocolates were gone soon, and now Justin found himself sitting on that shitty couch, playing the admiring audience to Ethan, and feeding his continuously growing ego as he was getting prepared for the contest he was about to attend the next week. Ethan was playing with so much passion; and much to Justin’s dismay, only the violin made Ethan so very passionate.
Justin sighed and smiled blankly but he didn’t really pay attention; his thoughts distracted him from listening to his boyfriend’s performance. Sudden silence brought him back to reality.
“Did you hear that, Jus?” Ethan smiled exultantly.
“Yeah, it was great.” Justin answered with a weak smile.
“Great??? It was fucking brilliant!! It’s one of Bartok’s hardest pieces! Only a very few can play it the way it should be played.” He said somewhat disapprovingly.
“You’re a genius Ethan.” That seemed to work. “You know what? Why don’t you take a little break? We could go out wherever you like.”
“Are you kidding?” Ethan raised his voice, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got a huge contest to win in case you forget. Besides,” he flopped down on the couch next to Justin, “I’d rather stay.”
“Okay. Well,” Justin tried to change tactics. He leaned against Ethan and kissed him softly, “we’ll stay then. Let me relax this exhausted artist a bit.” He started to stroke Ethan’s groin then whispered, “Want me to relax you, Mr. Gold?”
Ethan laughed quietly and pulled away,
“It’s not the right time, Jus.”
“Is that so? And which time would be right exactly?” Justin asked sternly, “I can’t remember the last time we’ve been...together.”
Ethan stood up abruptly and looked Justin in the eye.
“Look, Jus. I...” He didn’t finish the sentence because someone was knocking on the door.
Justin stood up and headed to the door to open it. His best friend, Daphne, was standing in front of him with the brightest smile on her face. When Ethan recognized who their visitor was he started to play again. He didn’t like Daphne and the girl wasn’t really fond of him either. The only reason they tolerated each other was Justin. Daphne nodded in Ethan’s direction and turned to Justin.
“Do you have any plans for tonight?”
“No, not really, I’ve been…” Justin started but Daphne cut him off.
“Then come with me to see a play. I mean a Shakespeare play. I’ve got two tickets and I’d like you to come with me.”
Justin wasn’t in the mood for going to the theatre, especially not in the mood for an old, time-worn middle-age play.
“I don’t know Daph. I don’t feel like going.”
“Come on Justin, it’ll be fun!” Daphne tried to convince him.
“She’s right.” Ethan cut in, “Go and have fun. I’ll practice a little more.”
Justin sighed and finally gave in,
“Fine. But I have to change my clothes first.”
“No, you don’t. It’s okay, you look great. It’s a small theatrical company really. But they’re awesome, I’ve seen them once. We’re not supposed to get ourselves dressed up.”
Ten minutes later they closed the front door behind themselves leaving the violin virtuoso alone. As they stepped out onto the street Daphne asked,
“Are you alright? You don’t look like a happily married man.”
“Fuck you. I’m not married.”
“And you’re definitely not happy either.”
“I’m alright. Everything’s fine.”
“Does he make you happy?”
The boy didn’t expect this direct question, so he answered a little too quickly,
“Sure, he’s my boyfriend.”
“That’s not an answer to my question.”
Justin sighed and started slowly,
“He’s okay. He’s just…too busy lately. I can’t blame him. His music means the world to him.”
“And what is it you mean to him, Justin? Have you ever thought about that?”
‘Well, that’s the question I ask myself all the time’ Justin thought to himself, but didn’t say it. Daphne went on…
“Do you love him? I mean, really love him?”
“Of course I do. Otherwise I wouldn’t be with him.”
“You deserve better Justin. So much better than him.”
“You just simply don’t like him.”
“Well, it doesn’t mean I’m not right.”
Justin thought it was time for changing the subject…
“So, what is it we’re going to see?”
“It’s the Midsummer-Night’s Dream. You’ll love it.”
Justin groaned loudly,
“Nooo! I’ve seen that a hundred times!”
“Well, you might have seen it a hundred times, but never in this form.”
“And what form would that be?”
“As I said it’s a theatrical company and now they’re here, in Pittsburgh. And guess what; all the actors are gay.”
“Great. And what’s your point?”
“It’s great, because all the female characters are played by men.”
“So what?”
“I think it’s very exciting! They’re playing only Shakespeare’s dramas. You know why?”
“No, I don’t, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“Because Shakespeare was gay.”
“Nah, that’s not proven. I heard that too. They say that most of his sonnets were dedicated to a mysterious prince but it doesn’t mean he was gay. No one knows that. And he’s not here to tell us about it.”
Daphne shrugged,
“Anyway. This company thinks so and that’s why they’re playing his dramas.”
“And what’s the name of this company?”
“WILL-Power. Pretty smart, huh? They’re popular, because they’re fantastic. And the actors are hot.”
“So, this is why you’re going to theatres? Because the actors are hot? I should have known…” Justin teased.
Daphne shoved him in the arm playfully and laughed,
“But I like the plays too.”
“Yeah, right. And what is it that’s so special about them?”
“They’re playing a different way. It’s something new. Like, they’ve brushed the plays up and placed it into modern times. But they didn’t change a word; they present the original language, as Shakespeare wrote it. And it makes the whole thing so exciting and a bit surreal. The last time they were here they were playing in the theatre. But this time they rented a studio here, on Liberty Avenue. I hope it means they’re going to stay.”
After fifteen more minutes of walking they arrived. There was quite a huge crowd already in front of the building where the studio was located. The doors opened and they were let inside. The place was pretty impressive, Justin had to admit. They were led into a room with black walls and no windows. Some illuminators lightened the stage which stood in the back of the room and Justin realized that they were going to be closer to the stage and the actors than usual.
Well, they had to be, because the room wasn’t too big and lots of people wanted to see the play. Some of them had to sit on the floor, but they didn’t seem to mind. Justin’s curiosity was increasing; he really wanted to know why this company was so special. Daphne and Justin were sitting in the second row and waiting for the play to begin. The doors closed, the lights went out and music started to play.
The scene and the costumes were simple but impressive. The actors were good and dynamic. Even the female characters were played by males as Daphne said, and it was working incredibly. The start of the comedy was really promising, so Justin started to feel a bit relieved and he was actually glad that he’d come to see it.
His cheer suddenly turned into something else when he spotted the actor who was playing Oberon, the King of the Fairies. From the moment he appeared on the stage Justin couldn’t take his eyes off of him. And if the quiet but excited whispering in the audience was any indication, he wasn’t the only one. Though that tall and slender man had make-up on his face, Justin could see that he was exceptionally gorgeous. He’d never seen someone like him before. And when the soothing sound of his voice filled the room as he said his first lines,
“Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.”
Justin knew he was lost. An inexplicable and frightening but still exciting feeling took hold of him somewhere deep inside, and he realized immediately that things would never ever be the same again.
Quote:
W. Shakespeare: sonnet 147.
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