The field is bloody massive.
All I can see is grass and trees and water and oh…wait, is that a castle in the distance? I can’t really tell.
Meli had taken up residence under my hat, claiming it smelt nice under there.
Weird dyke.
“HELLO THAR!!!!”
My eyes widen as I look about madly, “Who’s there!? I know karate!” I yell back, making a few ninja moves and falling flat on my face with a groan, “ZACKY!”
Zacky: WASN’T ME!
I look up and, low and behold, there’s a ruddy big fucking OWL talking to me.
Talking trees, talking owls, yup I can definitely go to my grave saying I’ve seen it all.
“YER OFF TO SEE THE PRINCESS AYYYYYYE!?”
Christ, why’s he yelling?
And he sounds like a stoned cowboy.
“ITS THATA WAY! OVER THAT HILL, PAST THAT RANDOMLY PLACED COW AND UNDER THE ARCHWAY THAT SAYS SKULLTULAMAN WAS ‘ERE!”
I nod quickly, ready to run away.
“BUH BYE NOW!”
And thank God he’s gone.
“Zacky, why do you have such fucked up people harassing me in this godforsaken place?”
Zacky: I feel like it? I dunno.
As i walked into the castle town, i realised that stupid green dress the writer made me wear was gone. Replaced by a leather coat over all black. In my hands were two metal things that if i pulled the hanging bit, they shot people.
-cue Matrix style shooting and stuff-
I panted slightly as I finished, looking about at my handy work. Meli flew out and he jaw dropped, “Justin you fucktard, now you've killed everyone”. I look down and I’m back in that fucking dress again, causing me to shake my fist, “Damn you Zacky”
Zacky: Serves you right!
Now we’re off to see the Princess.
The wonderful Princess of Pittsburgh.