You held my hand and then you slipped away And I may never see your face again So tell me how do to fill the emptiness inside Without love, what is life?
He’s everywhere I go. No matter who I’m with, he’ll always be there. I walk into the diner and he’s there, watching me. I was told I’d get over it in time. But do you really get over you’re first love? The first night I saw him, I knew it was different.
And anyone who knew us both can see We always were the better part of me I never wanted to be this free All this pain, does it go away?
Here I am, sitting here in the cold rain. I can’t bear to move from his side, knowing this is goodbye. I love him so much, everyone kept trying to break us up. Michael would tell bullshit so he’d look at me differently. My cheeks are wet from the tears, I can’t let anyone see me weep. I have to be strong, for him. For my love.
Then every time I turn around And you’re nowhere to be found I know I got a long, long way to go Before I can say goodbye to you Oh, I got a long, long way to go Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew To you, to you
The diner’s quiet, it’s after midnight. He’s there again, sitting in the back booth, those eyes haunted and lost looking. He’s wearing that suit, the black Armani one that makes him look a million dollars. It’s crumpled, his white shirt pristine as usual. Hair hangs over his eyes as he finally notices me. It’s all my fault, I can’t let him go, that’s why he’s still here.
From memory, there is no hiding place Turn on the TV and I see you there In every crowd there’s always someone with your face Everywhere, trying not to care
I can’t do it. So I turn and run. Debbie doesn’t know what’s wrong, she’s staring straight at him as if nothing’s wrong. I’m out the door and in the street. There he is, leaning against my car, arms folded, giving me that tongue in cheek smirk he’d picked up over the years. I choke out a sob as I head for Babylon, entering out the rain. There he is again, heading for the backroom. Will this ever end? He left me, why is he still there?
Then every time I turn around And you’re nowhere to be found I know I got a long, long way to go Before I can say goodbye to you Oh, I got a long, long way to go Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew
There’s a hand on my shoulder and I turn, expecting him to be there and he is. For all of about a second. Then he’s gone, replaced by Daphne asking me if I’m okay, she looks genuinely concerned for me. Or maybe it’s my sanity. It hasn’t been the same since he walked away from me that night. I bid my goodbyes and head for ‘home‘. I pull up and stare at the front door, I can’t do this, not without him. So I head off, heading for the one place I know I’m welcome and safe. Where I know he is.
To you, I wish you everything And all the best that life can bring I only hope you think of me sometimes, oh And even though I feel the pain I know that I will love again The time will come, oh, and Ill move on
So here I am, crouched by the gravestone of my lost lover. It had been nearly a year since the accident. Nobody understands my grief, how I miss playing with his hair, how he showed me he loved me with actions, instead of words. I want to join him, life just hasn’t been worth living since he was killed. I was there, I saw it happen. I could have stopped it but I didn’t. I stand up straight, looking down at the stone, my eyes gazing over the letters.
I got a long, long way to go Before I can say goodbye to you Oh, I got a long, long way to go, got a long way to go Before I can say goodbye, before I say goodbye To all I ever knew, to all I ever knew I got a long, I got a long, long way to go, long way to go Before I can say, before I say, goodbye to you Say goodbye, say goodbye Oh, I got a long, long way to go Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew Girl, I wish you the best I know, oh and all of the rest, to you I got a long, long way to go Before I can say goodbye to you
My finger traces over the golden lettering before I sign, walking away. It’s been 11 months, four weeks and three days since the accident. 11 months, four weeks, two days and five hours since he was pronounced dead due to a bat to the head. But to me? It’s been a lifetime since I lost my ray of Sunshine. And I will never be able to say goodbye.