Snowflakes lazily drifted to the ground, adding to the blanket of white powder covering the sidewalk.  A brisk December chill was in the air, as Brian made his way down the street, with a mini version of himself in tow.  Lindsay had phoned his office earlier, begging him to babysit Gus while she did some last minute Christmas shopping.  
 
Fucking Lindsay!   He was always expected to drop everything when she needed his services.  Ordinarily Brian wouldn't mind, but he was in the midst of developing an ad campaign for an affluent prospective client.  He had been ready to tell her no, when she shrewdly played her trump card, and handed the phone to Gus.  Lindsay knew Brian wouldn't dare disappoint his son, so it left him no choice but to relent to her request.  
 
At four, Gus was tall for his age, with amber hair, and big hazel eyes.  The little boy struggled to keep up with his father's long strides.  
 
"Daddy, do you think Santa will get me a new bike for Christmas?"
 
"I don't know Sonnyboy", Brian teased.  "Have you been a good boy for your mommy and mama?"
 
The child nodded yes.  
 
"Do you remember to brush your teeth, and wash behind your ears?"
 
"Yes daddy."
 
"Do you eat all your vegetables?"
 
"Uh huh."
 
"Do you remember to put the toilet seat down like daddy taught you?  
 
Gus lowered his head and said, "Sometimes daddy."  "One time I forgot and mama got mad at me, because she got all wet."
 
Brian laughed.  "In that case Sonnyboy, you most definitely deserve a new bike."
 
Just then, Brian's cell phone rang.  Upon seeing it was Ted, he answered it.  "Theodore, was everything changed to my specifications?"  "What the fuck do you mean?  I promised Mr. Van Buren the new ads would be ready for our presentation on Monday."
 
"Daddy, daddy",  Gus interrupted.   "Look, there's Santa!"  Brian smiled, and patted the boy's head.
 
Gus stood captivated by the robust, jolly Santa who was ringing a bell across the street.  In the meantime, Brian raised his voice, threatening Ted with his job if the work wasn't completed tonight.
 
"Daddy", Gus pleaded tugging on his coat.  "Let's go see Santa.  I want to tell him what bike to get me."
 
"Not now, Sonnyboy". Brian said patiently.
 
"Daddy, if I don't tell Santa where I live, he won't know where to bring the presents."
 
"Gus", Brian warned in a stern voice.  "Let me finish talking on the phone first."
 
Gus monitored Santa's movements anxiously.  He observed him disappearing into the store.  "But daddy, Santa's leaving!", Gus announced.
 
Brian crouched down, and with his free hand gripped the boy by his shoulder.  "Gus, if you don't stop your whining right now, Santa won't bring you <i>anything</i> for Christmas!  Now go look at the trains in the window."
 
Sniffing back tears, Gus obediently walked over to the window display.  Brian continued to chastise Ted, barking orders into the phone.  Seconds later, he lifted his head to check on his son.  Discovering that the boy was gone, Brian frantically scanned the crowded sidewalk, when all of a sudden he heard a screech. He turned in time to see a young boy in the middle of the street...his little boy!  A car was trying to stop, but the boy stood frozen, directly in its path.  
 
"GUS!", Brian yelled just as the vehicle made contact.  The impact knocked the boy to the ground.  Panic completely overtaking him, Brian dropped his phone and rushed over to his son.  The boy was laying there, his tiny body twisted.  
 
When Brian noticed his son's chest rise and fall, he breathed a sigh of relief.   Gus moaned, and he tried his best to remain calm, and soothe the injured child.  Someone must have called 911, because an ambulance soon came barreling down the block.  The EMT workers gently lifted the boy onto a gurney, affixing a splint to his left leg and left wrist.  Brian rode in the ambulance, stroking his son's bruised and bloodied face.  He was consumed with guilt and worry.
 
They arrived at the hospital in eight minutes, but it felt more like twenty-eight to Brian.  Unable to reach Lindsay, he gave the phone number to a nurse, to keep trying to contact her.  While the hospital staff attended to his son, Brian's anxiety was escalating.  He called the only person he could think of...Justin.  
 
"Hey Brian", the familiar voice answered.  There was a dead silence on the other end.   "Brian?  Are you there?", Justin's voice came back with concern.  
 
"G-Gus...there was...there was an accident...", was all that Brian managed to divulge in an angst ridden voice.  
 
"Oh my God...I'll be right there"  Justin exclaimed, grabbing his keys and cell phone on his way out the door.
 
When Justin spotted Brian leaning against a wall, he walked over and embraced him.  He could feel the older man's body shaking.  Realizing that Brian was crying, he started rubbing his back in a comforting circular motion.  
 
"He's going to be okay"  Justin assured him.
 
Brian pulled back, and gazing into Justin's eyes with a tear stained face said, "You don't know that.  You didn't see him laying there in the street, bleeding and hurt.  He looked so small and helpless."  A few more tears rolled down his cheeks.
 
Justin wasn't sure what to do.  He had never seen Brian like this before, scared and distraught.  Brian had been his rock.  He was the one who always consoled Justin.  But now it was Brian who needed him.
 
Justin reached out and pulled Brian close, squeezing him tightly.  
 
"I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't make it.  It's all my fault." 
 
Brian abruptly disentangled himself from Justin, and straightened up.  "They think he's bleeding internally.  They're performing tests on him right now", he related in a strained, raspy voice.
 
Brian wiped the remaining traces of tears from his face, his features becoming impassive.  Unfortunately, Justin had seen that look before.  Brian was already erecting his Kinney mask of indifference, the one that says I don't need your help, this is my business, and my problem to deal with alone.  Justin sighed as he watched Brian regain his composure, detaching himself from the pain, and from Justin's loving support.
 
Just then Lindsay and Melanie came running down the corridor.  Lindsay was hysterical as she grabbed Brian's arm and questioned,  "Where's my son?"  Melanie tried to calm her.  She gently guided Lindsay away from Brian, but then turned back to say, "You irresponsible prick!  How could you let this happen?"  
 
Brian just stood there, not speaking and looking very guilty.  Melanie's anger got the best of her, and she got directly in Brian's face and seethingly remarked, "That little boy was depending on his father to protect him.  And now he's in there, fighting for his life!   What was <i>so</i> important that caused you to let your son wander into a busy street, and get hit by a car?  What was it...were you arranging a tryst with one of your tricks?"
 
Brian did nothing to defend himself against her accusations.  Justin watched, feeling helpless.  "Just get the fuck out of here!  <b>Now!</b>", Melanie ordered.  Brian turned to leave, having decided that it would be best to wait outside. 
 
Justin followed Brian out the doors of the hospital.  Brian lit up a cigarette, and blinked away the tears that were welling up inside of him.  He felt like a total shit.  Justin offered earnestly, "Mel's just upset.  She doesn't know what she's saying right now."  
 
"Oh yes she does.  I'm a lousy father, and I never should have had a kid in the first place.  My son may die because of me."  Brian threw the cigarette to the ground and stomped on it.
 
"Brian, you're not a lousy father.  You love Gus, and he adores you."
 
Brian closed his eyes for a minute, and then opened them to address Justin.  "Do you know what I did when he begged me to take him to see Santa?  I yelled at him.  I told him Santa wasn't going to bring him any toys if he wasn't good."  He bit his lower lip and cast his eyes to the ground in front of him.
 
Justin tried to comfort his lover.  He lovingly ran his fingers through Brian's hair.  Brian grabbed his wrist to thwart his efforts, coldly suggesting,  "Why don't you go back inside.  Just get me when the doctor comes."
 
A short time later Justin was retrieving Brian.  They approached the doctor together, as he was updating Melanie and Lindsay.  It was confirmed that Gus was indeed bleeding internally.  He also had a broken leg and wrist.  The doctor explained the specifics of the surgery that was needed to stop the bleeding.  It was risky, but Gus would not survive if he didn't have the operation.  His parents would be allowed a brief visit before surgery.  
 
By this time, the members of Gus' family were all arriving.  First Debbie and Carl came.  Then Ben, Michael  and Hunter, and finally Ted and Emmett.  Justin was the one who informed everyone of the boy's condition, and his upcoming surgery.
 
Lindsay and Melanie went in to see Gus first.  When they came out they had their arms wrapped around each other, and were both teary eyed.   Brian apprehensively looked at Lindsay, who shook her head signaling her permission for him to go in next.  
 
Brian examined his beautiful young son, hooked up to machines monitoring his vital signs.  The boy was sedated, and appeared to be in a tranquil sleep.  Brian was enchanted by his cherubic face, and bent down to gingerly press a kiss to his forehead.  Encasing his little hand in his own, Brian brought it up to the side of his face, rubbing it against his skin.  "I'm sorry son.  Daddy didn't mean to yell at you.  If I could trade places with you I would...Please be okay.  I love you Gus, so much more than I ever thought I would."  Brian's voice cracked with emotion.  He moved the boy's hand to his lips for one last kiss, and then exited the room.
 
Brian slumped over in a chair in the waiting area, his hands covering his face.  Justin took a seat next to him, knowing it was going to be a long night,  "Gus is young and strong.  He'll make it.  You just have to have some faith", Justin advised him.  
 
Brian knew Justin was trying to help, but he couldn't stand the waiting.  He rose and apprised Justin, "I can't stay here.  I'll be back."  
 
Brian didn't know why, but his feet led him to the hospital chapel.   Entering, he saw a familiar figure sitting in front of a statue praying.  He took a seat next to his surrogate mother, Debbie.  "Hey kiddo.  I just had a conversation with God, and informed him that this was my little grandson, and that he had better pull through this."  Debbie grasped Brian's hand.  She was worried about him.  He looked so hurt and lost.
 
"I can't lose him Deb.  He means everything to me." 
 
"You won't", Debbie replied with conviction, and gave him a peck on the cheek.
 
When the doctor came out of the operating room, a crowd of Gus' family surrounded him.  Gus had made it through the surgery fine, but the next couple of days would be critical.  He was not out of the woods yet.  
 
Melanie had to go home to check on her newborn daughter.  Everyone else went home to rest, except for Lindsay and Emmett (who volunteered to stay with her), and Brian and Justin.  Brian went over to talk to Lindsay, but she put her hand up and stopped him.  "I can't talk to you right now Brian.  I'm too upset, and I might say something I'll regret."
 
Over the next 24 hours, Brian remained a constant fixture at his son's bedside.  He and Lindsay took turns talking to the boy, and holding his hand.  Justin hovered close to Brian, fearful that his mask might crumble completely.  
 
Hours passed, and Gus should have been waking from his sedation.  Melanie and Lindsay were in Gus' room, while Brian and Justin got something quick to eat in the cafeteria.  Brian only had a coffee in his hand, and he looked exhausted.  Justin ordered a sandwich and fries, and tried his best to coax Brian to eat something too.  To Justin's utter frustration, he wouldn't even put a morsel of food in his mouth.
 
"Brian, it's not going to help Gus if you get sick too."  
 
"Don't tell me what to do Justin.  If I don't want to eat, I won't.  I'm a big boy, so stop watching me, and leave me the fuck alone.  Besides, he's not your son, he's nothing to you.  In fact, there's no reason for you to stay here. Why don't you just get the fuck out of here and go home."
 
Brian's harsh words were like a slap in the face to Justin.  He got up from the table and shouted at Brian, "I may not be related to Gus by blood, but I love that little boy as if he were my own.  I'd do anything to help him.  <i>Fuck you Brian!</i>" He left Brian sitting there, alone and brooding.
 
Justin went for a walk outside the hospital to calm down before heading back to Gus' room.  When he returned, he found Lindsay and Melanie huddled together and sobbing.  
 
Alarmed, Justin anxiously queried, "What's wrong?"
 
"The doctor spoke to us, and said that Gus should have woken up by now.  It's not good Justin...he may never wake up."
 
"Where's Brian?" Justin asked, directing the question to Lindsay.
 
"After the doctor spoke to us, he took off."
 
Justin got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Although Brian had hurt him earlier, he knew Brian needed him more than ever now.  He tried to call Brian's cell phone.  When he didn't answer, Justin decided to go to the loft.  
 
During the bus ride there, Justin thought about Brian's recent actions.  If he was at the loft, Justin was determined not to let Brian push him away again.  
 
When Justin opened the loft door, he stepped into complete darkness, except for the light above the bed.  He called Brian's name, and when he received no response, thought that perhaps his instincts had been wrong, and Brian wasn't there.  He turned on the rest of the lights and surveyed the room.  Justin was about to turn the lights off and leave, when he heard a noise coming from the bedroom.  He entered through the slotted opening, and found Brian sitting cross-legged on the floor, mesmerized by something in his hand.  As Justin approached, he recognized the picture frame, and got a lump in his throat.  It was the picture Michael had taken of Brian holding his newborn son. 
 
"Dada and his Sonnyboy", Brian whispered.  "I loved him even then.  At the time, it was so strange to me that this little creature I was holding could fill me with such joy and pride.  That little boy is my greatest accomplishment."     
 
Justin knelt down next to Brian and put his arm around his shoulders.  Brian turned to him, and with sincerity in his voice admitted, "I shouldn't have said what I said to you about Gus.  I know how much you love him, and how much he loves you.  Hell, you've probably spent more time with him than I have."  Brian leaned their foreheads together, and stroked Justin's arm.   "You're always there for me Sunshine. I never succeed in pushing you away."
 
"And you never will Brian...because I love you", Justin said tenderly.   "Now let's go back to the hospital.  Gus needs us."
 
Brian nodded and got up, pulling Justin with him.  He draped his arm over the younger man's shoulder, and they left together.
 
When they got to the hospital, they saw the doctor and a nurse rush into Gus' room.  Brian's heart skipped a beat.  He reached for Justin, and they entered the room together.  Brian almost fell to his knees in gratitude, when he saw his little boy alert and talking to his mother.  Gus stopped mid sentence when he spotted Brian.  
 
"Daddy!"  he rejoiced.
 
"Hey Sonnyboy.  You gave me quite a scare."  
 
"Guess what daddy....the doctor said it's Christmas Eve!   But I can't go home yet", he said sounding a little sad and disappointed.
 
"I'm sorry Gus"  the doctor apologized.  "We have to make absolutely sure you're healthy."
 
"That's okay", Gus said.   He then excitedly remarked to his father's partner, "Jus, I got hit by a car.  Did you see what the doctors put on my leg and my wrist?"  
 
"Yes Gus, those are two cool looking casts.  I might be persuaded to draw a little something on them if you wanted me too."
 
"Can he mommy, mama?"
 
"Sure Gus.  Justin can draw anything you want.   We're just so happy that you're awake now."
 
The next morning, Brian went to see his son the minute visiting hours began.  

"Merry Christmas Sonnyboy."
 
"Merry Christmas daddy", the little boy said glumly.
 
"Why the sad face?"
 
"Santa's never going to find me here to give me my presents."
 
"Oh, I don't know about that."
 
Brian opened the door, and his entire family came into the room bearing Christmas gifts for Gus.  Brian smiled as he watched his son's face light up.
 
The last person to enter was Justin, who paused in the entranceway of the door.
 
"Gus", he exclaimed.  "Santa left something for you."  Justin guided a spanking new green tricycle into the room.  
 
"My bike, Santa got me my bike!"  the boy enthusiastically chimed.  Gus then graced his parents and his extended family with the biggest smile across his face proclaiming,  "This is the best Christmas ever!"
 
Sometime later, Brian and Justin shared a quiet moment out in the hall.  
 
"Thank you Sunshine...for everything.  How would I ever survive without you?"
 
"You wouldn't", Justin answered emphatically.  "That's why you'll always have to keep me around."
 
"Guess, I'll just have to do that", Brian smirked arching an eyebrow.  He put his hands on the blond's shoulders and said, "Merry Christmas, Justin."
 
"Merry Christmas, Brian."  
 
Justin felt pure contentment as he leaned in to passionately kiss the man he loved, knowing all was right with their world once again.