I know, I know, I'm sorry...please forgive me? *batters eyelashes*
You’re never gonna be alright until you learn the meaning of life. JUSTINS POV Another attempt and a victory at escaping the fort. We run across the streets and are a bit frightened by real life as we find it on the streets. After a while, the walls of the school are less threatening. You become used to them. They protect you. Being thrown into the everyday-life with racing cars and fast treads is quiet a scare. Three weeks in a building, with no escape from the grounds, is a long time. I feel like I’m in the fifth grade as Charlotte grabs our (James and mine) hands and runs across the asphalt, her fingers tightly gripping for support. A booth dressed in graffiti, the lyrics to some rebellious song glowing in the darkness of the evening. It holds my hope, that little cubicle over there. We don’t have time for thinking. I dial the number etched into my soul. The line of marks that has been my salvation many times before. Be there, Brian. BRIANS POV I don’t even realize it happening. The shift inside my head, the feeling that something major is about to happen tonight. I don’t even feel the impact of it until hours later the phone rings and my thoughts just..awaken. I want to run to it, I feel my limbs aching to go faster, but my feet – they won’t. They shuffle down the stairs and – eerily calm, make their way over to the phone. “I’m here.” “I knew you would be.” I snicker. “I always knew you were a smart man, Sunshine.” I speak his name so softly, as if I’m afraid to break it, or afraid that if I say it, he’d disappear and I’d stand over here, the dialtone ringing in my ears. Imagining it all and slowly going crazy. I can hear him breathing and close my eyes to the sound of it. It’s almost like he’s here, sleeping next to me. I can see the blue duvet partly covering his body, his skin contrasting the darkness of it. “I miss you,Brian.”He says ever so quietly. “I miss you so much.” I swallow the lump down my throat and blink a couple of times to clear my eyes of the tears that are forming. I can’t cry now. I have to show hiw that he can depend on me, that I’ll be strong for the both of us. “Yeah,” I tell him, my voice breaking. “Me too.” He takes a deap breath..“And I’m so sorry about...” I interrupt him. “Don’t be.” And it’s true, even though it hurt like hell when he left, he can’t apologize for it. He needed to this. Needed to choose me after it all. “You needed to – and I made you.” And you said I know that this will hurt but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse If the burden seems too much to bear remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there “People screw up, Justin. It’s how we deal with the mistakes that we made, that makes us who we are.” And he just knows what I need to hear when he silently whispers: “I chose you. If you’ll have me, I chose you.” There’s some tension in his voice though, which I don’t really get. Justin, you made the unthinkable happen. You made me fall in love. Do you really think I’d get over that – over you that easily? I thought you were on to me. So I lightly say: “Well, I don’t know, Justin, will you ever leave again me for ugly banjo-players?” He laughs. It’s good to hear him laugh. “Maybe next time, it’ll be a cellist...” And then he turns serious. “I’ll never leave you..”The words are spoken so silently it could easily have been a breath, especially with all the background noise that’s out there. Where the fuck is he? I exhale sharply. “You better..” “So where are you?” JUSTINS POV “So where are you?” I sigh. “You know I can’t tell you that Brian. It could have some pretty serious consequences. (I so hate consequences) ..but my friend tells me that you’re pretty close to figuring it out..” He chuckles and I can almost see him scrunching up his nose and tipping his head a bit to the side.“How is dear old Brooks doing anyway?” I laugh. “He sends his regards to Mark.” “Mark?” He can be so adorably clueless sometimes. “A.k.a Mysterious Marilyn..a friend of yours?” “Oh yes,” he answers with a whole lot of sarcasm and an eye-roll. “I absolutely adooore her..” A ticking on the cubicle wall shakes me out of my smile and the ‘door’ crackles when James opens it, skittishly looking around. “Justin – we have to go...Ma could be here any moment..” Brian clears his throat.“Ma?” he huffs. “A scary mother around? She’s not worse than Joanie, is she?” I roll my eyes. “ ‘Ma’’s a codename, Brian...You of all people should know – Mr. Tremont. ” “And how the fuck do you know this?” he grumbles sweetly. Yes, I did just put sweet and Brian in the same sentence.. “Brooks told me...” I sigh when I Charlotte jumps up and down next to the cubicle and waves her hands in a wide circle before pointing her two fingers in the direction of the way back. " I have to go.” “Don’t.” I smile. “I love you Brian.” “ Be safe, sunshine. I’ll be there as soon a.. " “TAYLOR!” Oh shit. BRIANS POV “I’ll be there as soon a..” “TAYLOR!” And then the dialtone rings in my ears, just like I imagined it would. Shit, that didn’t sound so good.