PAIRING: Gale/Randy DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gale or Randy. I think we all know that. This is for entertainment purposes only. I do not claim to know whether any facts mentioned in this story are actually true. As far as I know, Simon and Randy are a happy, healthy, loving couple. Any references to anything different are purely fictional. Gale's POV - December 2004 The moment he showed up on my doorstep asking if he could stay a few days, I was already anticipating how long it would be before he was in my bed. I figured it was inevitable, just like all the other times in the past three years when he and Simon were fighting. If I had any sense at all, I’d turn him away. I know from experience this never ends well. They’ll make up, like they always do, leaving me to forget what it felt like to have him… again. Even if it is for just a few days, I get to remember what it was like to fall asleep by his side and then to wake up pressed against his back like we always seem to do. He's there for the morning fuck I always look forward to. The time when he’s barely aware, running on instinct, not fully awake, enjoying the slow glide of our bodies without the added guilt that he tries unsuccessfully to hide from me. The guilt he feels from knowing I shouldn’t be the one making him moan and tremble. Knowing he shouldn’t be enjoying what I do to him… how I make his body feel. How I make him feel. Even in this state, before he’s fully awake, when he’s pushing and writhing, begging for more- faster, harder, deeper… it’s still my name he whispers when he comes. Every time, every fucking time, I wonder if he always thinks of me. If he bites his tongue when I’m not the one inside him. False hope, maybe. But it’s something I like to hold on to. It’s surprising to me how Simon has never caught on. Doesn’t he care where his boyfriend spends his time? Has he ever asked where Randy goes every few months when he’s pissed? I think I’d know if someone else was fucking my boyfriend. I’d make it my business to know. Then again, I wouldn’t let him leave to begin with. ~*~ Before Simon, before I fucked up the relationship we were trying to explore, I took for granted what it felt like to wake up in the middle of the night, knowing he was there. Pulling him tighter until we were rutting against each other… fucking for hours because we couldn’t get enough of each other. It wreaked havoc on set, the poor make-up assistant trying to cover dark circles and red eyes, while Randy and I grinned knowingly, letting everyone else speculate about what we were or were not doing off set. Everyone was afraid to say what everyone else was already thinking, so the rumor mill stayed hushed enough, even though we both would have admitted it had anyone bothered to ask. Not like now. Not when Randy plays the part of good little faithful partner to Simon and I have a girlfriend a hundred miles away that would never suspect I enjoy cock just as much as I enjoy her. This is not something we would let anyone bring up, guess at or speculate about. We hide it well. We don’t need the bullshit rumors when we both know how wrong it is. But fuck, it doesn’t feel wrong. It’s just… something that happens. He uses me for comfort… I use him, well… for something else. For a piece of him to hold on to. Because deep down, I know I’m still waiting. After three fucking years, I’m waiting for him to say this is the time he’s going to stay. I should tell him to go cry on someone else’s shoulder until I know for sure if this time is for real. Until I know Simon is out of the picture… gone for good. But then… I know I’m full of shit. If it were anyone else, maybe I’d have some sense of what this will do to us for the next couple of months. The awkward silence, the sideways glances… the unspoken apology for knowing we both let it happen again. Fuck, this is Randy I’m talking about. The one person I can never deny. I’ll never say no to him. Not when I spend month after month wondering how long it’ll be before the next time. It’s never often enough, and never permanent, but I’ll take what I can get. Any part of what he’ll give me. It’s more than I expected after a time when we were barely speaking. After I screwed things up so bad. But here we are, barely two hours after the “What Simon did this time” speech and he’s snoring peacefully beside me, my cock soft, but still nestled inside his warmth. I’ll have to pull out eventually… even the best things have to come to an end. But not yet. Maybe just a few more minutes. ~*~ Randy and I have no agreements. We never know when or if this will happen again. I just know that when the time comes… if the time comes, I’ll still be here, waiting for him. I know I can’t put my life on hold. I’m not that pathetic. There will be others that come and go and some of them I may even care about. Right now, there’s someone. She’s nice… she’s special. She makes me happy. But if the day comes to make a choice, if he finally gives me that day… Well… there's really no choice at all.