crawling

“We don’t have to leave,” Brian tries again for the third time. Molly begins to throw Justin’s clothing into a duffle bag, “Yes we do!” Turning to Justin, Brian hopes to talk some sense into him instead, however Justin just sits there, watching his sister quickly packing his things up. “Justin, we can have someone watching you two until the officers get more information. You and Molly can stay in Carl’s room ---” “Molly wants to leave,” Justin answers quietly, his voice void of emotion: his eyes vacantly following his sister’s moves. “We know where they are, Justin,” Brian explains. Turning to Molly, he stands in her way, “We can stop them.” Justin chuckles softly, “And then what?” “Pardon?” Brian asks, turning to his partner who continues to sit quietly on the bed. Sighing, Justin finally lets his eyes drop on Brian. “And then what?” His tone is subdued, as he continues, “They get arrested and sent back to the states. The people that hired them find out and get even more pissed, and they send more people out to get us.” Brian stares at him in disbelief. “What the fuck, Justin?” Taking a deep breath, Justin replies, “It’s pointless. It’s all pointless…Molly and I might as well change our names and disappear somewhere… Italy is probably out of the question… anyone who knew me would know I wanted to go there…” he rambles off, closing his eyes. Brian turns his attention to Molly and repeats, “What the fuck?” Molly frowns, looking back at her brother. “Justin, are you okay?” She wasn’t used to his pessimism. He smiles softly at her, “Just tired, Molly. Go look in that map I bought you and tell me where you want to go.” Brian waits until Molly leaves the room before sitting down on the bed beside Justin. “So you’re just giving the fuck up?” He smiles bitterly, “I’m being realistic.” He shakes his head, “No. You’re being an idiot. This is going to stop. You and Molly aren’t going to keep running away. I’m not going to let that happen.” Justin laughs cruelly, “You aren’t going to let that happen? Oh, I didn’t realize Rage tackled illegal international affairs.” “What the hell happened to you?” Brian asks, though he already knew the answer. Justin stares at him coldly, “What happened to me? My mother was shot in the head after she hung up the phone with me! She’s dead, Brian! My mother is dead! My father is dead. He and I are never going to make peace….and don’t look shocked. Just because I hated him didn’t mean I didn’t love him… and he’s dead now Brian. My father is dead. He’s dead and he’ll never be proud of me or happy for me… he died not even liking me! He’s dead and my mom is dead and my cousins are dead… Jeremy is dead! He was like a big brother to me and he’s dead… and they are all dead… my uncle is dead… and now my other uncle is dead… and he wanted US dead. He was going to have us killed. He didn’t care… and he’s dead. I used to love him… I used to idolize him… he was my confidant…I told him things I never told anyone else, and he is dead… his head hit the side of the glass.. .and I heard it, Brian. I heard the thud… he’s dead because I fought him… and I don’t feel anything about it. I don’t feel sad, mad, relieved… nothing! Just another dead Taylor!... everyone is dying, Brian! And if you stay with us, you will too.” He stops, sobbing. Grabbing Justin quickly into his arms, Brian holds him tightly. He wanted to say something, anything… but what could make a difference? Looking up, he can see Molly standing by the door way, her cheeks streaked with tears. “Shit,” Brian mumbles, “It sucks. I know it’s bad. You feel like shit, you don’t want to go on… but listen to me. Justin, are you listening to me?” Between gulps of air, Justin nods his head, burying his face into Brian’s chest. “We can fight this.” Justin shakes his head. “Yes, we can, Justin,” He insists. Combing back Justin’s hair between his fingers, he sighs, kissing the top of his lover’s head, “We have a plan.”