Honey

Brian pulls Justin in, kissing him fervently. No regrets... no fuckin' regrets... He no longer cared about feelings or consequences... instead, he found himself getting lost inside the rapture of Justin... Oh my fuckin' God.... He couldn't stand it. Yanking off Justin's shirt, Brian pushes him onto the bed, straddling on top of him and hungerily kissing him all over his chest and throat before quickly undoing Justin's pants. Justin moaned with desire, the pleasure drowning away all of the horrible feelings he was carrying, the hurt and the pain. None of that mattered anymore. All he could feel was ecstasy. “Oh God… Brian…” he wanted to scream in the top of his lungs, he wanted to hear Brian tell him it was okay… he wanted everything to be alright.

Brian's mouth, nibbling lightly, journeyed across Justin's shoulder before continuing the oral pursuit back down to Justin’s chest and stomach. He needed this. He needed to forget about his anger, his frustration… forget all of it. He needed to become lost in Justin’s body, mingle with his soul. This was his remedy to erase the pain: the perfect drug to escape from the world and into a realm where pleasure took raw form.

Justin gasps slightly as Brian fucks his navel with his tongue for a few moments before venturing farther down. Justin’s mind spun. Brian… please… Brian… His entire body shook as his cock was captured into Brian’s mouth. The feeling went beyond ecstasy. Justin threw his head back, not knowing what and where to grab on to with his hands as Brian teased his cock with his tongue before sucking it whole. “Oh.. Brian…” He wanted to cum, but held off as long as he could… This feeling… oh God… it feels so good… I don’t want it to end… Brian could tell that Justin was about to cum. He loved the moment right before it happens… the loss of control… the complete surrender into the euphoria, and then the release. With one last flick of the tongue, Justin came immediately. Brian swallowed the delicious nectar, tenderly pulling back. He expected Justin to lay still for several moments. Instead, Justin was on him like a tiger. Brian had no time to react as Justin kisses his mouth, hard.

Falling backwards onto the bed, Brian gives in to Justin’s mouth, allowing his lover’s hands to quickly rip open his shirt. Fuck… The buttons go flying off and Justin’s lips begin their succulent pursuit over his entire torso, lightly biting Brian’s sides before kissing under his arms. “Jesus Christ….” Brian couldn’t even fathom any words to describe the feeling. Justin’s fingers slide down to the zipper of his pants. Unzipping them, he begins to pull them off. Brian lifts up a bit to help with the process. Do it… come on, Justin…. Oh God… But it was Justin’s turn to tease as he licks the pre-cum off Brian’s tip and lightly blows against the wet skin. Brian trembles with anticipative desire. “Fuck…” Justin smiles inwardly, swirling his tongue around Brian’s cock before engulfing it past his lips. Brian sighs, letting his head fall back as he succumbs to the pleasure. Justin’s fingers slowly massage his balls before cupping them into his hand and lightly raking his tongue up the underside of his throbbing organ. “Fuck… Justin…” Once Justin’s tongue begins to flutter up and down the tip of his cock, Brian knows he’ll be cumming soon. Justin brings his lips farther down his shaft, sucking him like a vacuum cleaner. Brian moans, reaching his hand towards the night table to pull out a condom and some lube. He didn't want to cum yet, he needed to fuck Justin. He wanted it so bad he could taste it. Pulling Justin back up to his face, he kisses him deeply, whispering into his ear, "I'm going to fuck you so hard, Justin..." He moans, "Fuck me, Brian..." Justin's body trembles as Brian begins to finger him, playing with his hole. Justin bites his lip, "Oh God, Brian.. don't tease me..." Brian smiles, licking his own lips. Ripping open the condomn, he prepares Justin with the lube, asking to be sure, "You sure you want this?" Justin nods, on the verge of tears, "Fuck me, Brian." "Roll over." Justin doesn't have a chance to as Brian gently pushes him onto his stomach for him. Sighing softly, Justin feels as if he's melting under Brian's kisses. Brian's mouth slides across the back of Justin's neck, journeying down his spine while his hands read Justin's body like braille. He stops when Justin's body suddenly tenses. Lifting off slightly, in looks down at where he had just kissed. Is that a shadow?... and touches the mark. Justin sharply sucks in his breath. It's a bruise. "What happened?" Brian asks, trying to sound nonchalant about it. He didn't want to sound like he cared, though he did. Justin forces a laugh, "It's nothing, I just fell." Brian lightly touches the bruise again, "You fell?" He winces, "Yeah.. no big deal. I was just clumsy..." Brian nods, about to reach to turn on the lamp beside them when Justin takes his wrist. "Brian, it's nothing, really. Don't make it into such a big deal." "How did you fall?" Justin leans up on his elbows, chuckling softly, "I tripped going down the stairs... I was carrying some laundry..." "And you tripped?.. on what?" He shrugs, wanting the conversation to be over, "I don't know.. my own foot! I don't know! I was carrying a laundry basket.. I lost my balance." "I thought you said you tripped?" Justin rubs his face, trying not to show his true feelings, as he starts to laugh, "Brian, you're really killing the mood." Brian doesn't laugh with him. "Let me see the bruise. Turn on the light." "No! Brian, shit, leave it alone. Besides, why in the hell do you care?" Justin knew he had him there. Brian would never admit that he cared. Brian is silent for a moment. He couldn't say anything without leaving himself open to get hurt. He couldn't let that happen. Clearing his throat, he states, "You need to be more careful next time." Justin nods, "I will." Is the conversation over now? He really didn't want Brian to turn on the light. What if the bruise on his cheek was noticable? What if he saw the other bruise on his wrist? The ones of his arms had already begun to fade, so he wasn't too worried about those: those bruises could be mistaken for shadows from the windowshades. It was the others that Justin was nervous about. Rolling onto his side, Justin smiles, playfully tapping Brian's nose with his index finger, "You care..." he teases. Brian pushes him back onto the bed, arguing, "Shut the fuck up," without any malice in his voice. Justin laughs, wrapping his arms around Brian's shoulders and pulling him down to his face as he continues to giggle, "You care..." Brian frowns, "In your twisted world perhaps." Justin just smiles, lightly kissing Brian's lips. "So are you going to fuck me or not?" Brian stares at him, not sure how to react. He really wanted to get a better look at the bruise on Justin's back. His story wasn't very convincing.. maybe because that was the same story he used to tell as a kid when he had to take his shirt off for some reason. I fell... I tripped... I was just clumsy... playing football.. soccer practice... basketball... I tripped down the stairs... The thought of something like that happening to Justin scared the shit out of him. But Justin is smarter than that... if he says he fell, then he fell. I just have to believe him. He fell. Justin's lips on his throat brings him back into the present. Fuck... Justin always knew the right places to kiss that made him crazy. Succumbing back into the ecstacy that seemed to have never left, Brian checks the condom before pushing Justin back onto his stomach. He needed to forget everything. Now having the memories from childhood swarm into his mind... I don't fuckin' think so Erase it all. All that mattered was this moment, in his bed, with his blonde Botticelli: Justin Taylor. Who he was about to fuck harder than he had ever fucked anyone before. Sitting up on his knees, he takes Justin by the hips and pulls him up towards him, immediately then pushing Justin's head back down to the pillow. Justin knew this was going to be rough. He needed it to be like this. None of that face-to-face gentle crap. He needed it to be rough... to forget. Forget Ethan, forget that Brian didn't love him... forget everything that was causing him the pain that made him feel numb. He needed to feel alive. He needed exactly this. Fuck it all away.

Grasping Justin's hips, Brian thrusts his long, hard cock deep into him. They both moan with pleasure. Fuck... Justin felt so tight, Brian thought he would die or cum, or both. He continued to thrust deeper and harder, pressing himself as much as strength would allow. Justin clasps the bedsheets, wishing there was something more he could grab onto. Burying his head in the pillow, he expels a passionate cry, drowing in the lavish ecstacy of pleasure that Brian was giving him. Falling forward, Brian wraps his arms under and around Justin's shoulders, pushing himself so hard against him, deeper... he wanted to be swallowed by this feeling. Swallowed whole, not just his cock. "Fuck... oh yeah... Jesus Christ.. God.. Justin..." Justin pushes his hips back, matching each thrust with full force as they rock forward and back in hot, wet rapture. Sliding his arms out from under Justin's shoulders, Brian intertwines his fingers with Justin's, kissing the back of his neck before licking the sweat off his flesh. Driving in deeper, Brian tightens his grip on Justin's hands, the delicious rapture threatening to explode. "Oh God... Brian... I... oh God.. I..." Brian bites Justin's shoulder, murmering, "I know..." With a final thrust, Brian cums with a moan. Neither move, shaken. Slowly, Brian pulls out, ignoring Justin's weak protest. Justin drops to his side, wanting to fall asleep. But then he remembered. This wasn't his bed. This wasn't even his home. His home was with Ethan...the thought made his shudder. Where did things go wrong? Could he ever find happiness with anyone? Maybe his standards were too high? Ethan loved him... but at what cost? Sighing, he thinks back to feeling of when Brian entered him. Even rough it was still tender. Justin always felt safe with Brian. He trusted him. But the cost of that trust weighed heavy on his heart.

Brian laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. Would Justin stay? He didn't want to ask. No, let Justin ask. He wanted him to stay... but would he admit it outloud? Justin sat up slowly, looking at the door. Quietly he states, "I have to go." Brian nods, not moving from the bed. He wouldn't dare show that he cared. Instead, he watches Justin get out of bed and get dressed. I want to say so many things...shit. He couldn't. It was as if there was a wall preventing any words to break through. But it's for the best, right? Brian had to believe that. Finally dressed, Justin turns to looks at Brian. Does he look sad? Or am I just reading too much into this? Nothing made sense anymore. Instead of feeling better, Justin only felt worse. Because now he knew that he loved Brian with all his heart, and that Brian still had some feelings for him... what the feelings meant, Justin couldn't be sure... but there was something still there between them. And that was more painful than believing that Brian didn't care about him at all. Because even though Brian felt something for Justin, it wasn't enough. Justin wanted to be Brian's one and only. It was clear however, that Brian wasn't ready for that. He held back his tears as he whispered softly, "Goodbye, Brian." Brian nods in the dimmness of the bedroom, studying the outline of Justin by the door frame as if it would be last time he would ever see him again. Maybe it was. Something was different. A choice seemed to have just been made. Slowly, Brian lifts up his hand and waves. The mask was back on his face. Justin's choice had won. Justin hesitates for a moment, wanting to run back into the bed and into Brian's arms... but for what? For more pain? He watches Brian, unable to read him, again. Walking back to the bed, he tenderly kisses Brian's lips. Brian falls into it for a moment, before forcing the wall back up. Justin looks into his eyes, smiling sadly, "Take care." Brian says nothing as he watches Justin walk away from him. Closing his eyes, he hears the loft door slowly close.