Unravel

“I brought us Chinese food!” Ethan announces as he enters the apartment. Justin grins, walking over to give him a kiss, “Awesome! How was the recital?” Ethan sighs, putting the bag of take-out on the kitchen counter, “Well it would have been much better if someone I loved could have been there,” he pauses for a few moments, letting Justin absorb that bit of information before continuing, “But the concert itself was alright, minus the horrible stage lighting.” Justin sympathizes, “I’m sorry, Ethan. I know you must have been fantastic as always though.” Ethan doesn’t comment as he takes out the plates from the cabinets, “So did you talk to Debbie?” Justin bites the inside of his cheek, “Um, yeah… here, let me set the table.” He quickly takes the plates away from Ethan and put them on the table himself. Ethan begins to empty the bag, “So?” “Umm… well I told her how it would be better for me not to work there for awhile… because of school and stuff…” Ethan nods, “And?” “And well, she understood.” Ethan smiles, “Great, I knew she would. So now you’ll have some free time to yourself to sleep in… and spend with me.” Justin blushes, knowing what he meant by that. Ethan hands him the glasses to put on the table, “So will you stop by after your classes tomorrow to see me at practice?” Justin can feel the knots forming in his stomach, “Um… actually… I told Deb that I could close up for her tomorrow night.” Ethan looks up, “What?” hoping he misheard. Justin continues to look down, busying himself with the napkins, “Drew has the flu, and someone needed to close the diner for tomorrow…” Ethan is enraged, “And you expect me to skip practice?!” Justin jumps up at the sharp rise in his voice, “No! Of course not! I’ll be fine… I’ve closed the diner before…” Ethan is infuriated, “So let me get this straight. You tell Debbie that you want to quit. She understands, but then convinces you to come in to work tomorrow?” Justin doesn’t know how to explain. But it doesn’t matter because Ethan isn’t listening, “So now instead of quitting, you are letting her walk all over you?” Justin shakes his head, “No, it’s not like that…” Ethan frowns, “You want me to call her?” “No!” Justin exclaims, not wanting to cause friction between Ethan and Deb. “It’s just one night… no biggie, honestly.” Ethan argues, “No biggie? Why in the hell would you say that unless it means that it IS a big deal. Who else is going to be there?” Justin isn’t sure what he means, “Huh?” Ethan gives an exasperated sigh, “Who the fuck is going to be in the diner with you?” “No one!” Justin quickly looks away. Should I tell him about Brian? As if Ethan could read his mind, he asks, “And Brian?” Justin doesn’t answer for a moment, causing Ethan to lose his patience. “Justin! I asked you a question! Is Brian going to be there?” Justin bites his lower lip, “Maybe…” Oh God, don’t be mad. I’m sorry… I’m sorry. Ethan takes a step forward, “Maybe? Why maybe? Did you see him today?” Justin nods, “He came in the diner today.” That’s all Ethan needs to know. Ethan is fuming, "And then what? He told you that he might see you tomorrow at the diner? Do you like playing these stupid games with him?!" Justin stammers, "We're not.. I'm not play--" Ethan interrupts him, grabbing Justin's upperarms and shaking him, "You just let them walk all over you! And for what? You fuckin' like it, don't you? What the hell is wrong with you?!" Justin cries out, "You're hurting me!" Ethan lets go, pushing Justin backwards against the wall, "You don't care, do you? I give and I give, but that means nothing to you! After everything I have done and do for you!... I am trying to be patient. Justin, I am REALLY trying to be patient with all of this, but it's as if you are asking for trouble!" Justin can't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he rubs his arms, "It isn't like that Ethan..." Ethan wrinkles his face, "You're giving me a migrane, Justin. I just don't know what you want from me." Justin slides down against the wall, squatting on the floor he brings his knees to his chest, "I'm sorry, Ethan. I'm trying, I really am.. it's just so hard..." He felt as if he was a falling down a long, deep tunnel. Ethan sighs, "What is?" He shakes his head, "Everything! One moment I'm living with Brian and having all these friends... and now I don't even know if they were ever my friends to begin with, and where I belong..." Ethan smiles softly, "You belong here... with me." Justin tries to smile back, his arms still aching. He felt so lost. Ethan continues to smile, all the anger that was once on his face was now gone. Justin can't even look him in the eyes, wanting to believe that he belonged somewhere, but at the same time doubting his own deserving of it. Ethan goes over to the table and pulls out one of the food cartons, "Don't worry, Justin. I'm here... I'm here, and I'll make it better... let me take care of you." He kneels down in front of his lover. Justin lets Ethan feed him an egg-roll. He didn't know what to do anymore. Ethan loved him, but his heart was still tied to Brian. This wasn't right. He knew it was wrong, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to stop it.

Ethan smiles, "Taste good?" Justin nods numbly. Why do I keep making Ethan so mad at me? What's wrong with me? Ethan kisses his cheek, "After tomorrow you won't be working at the diner again, correct?" Justin nods. "Promise me." Justin nods again, "I promise." Ethan sighs, "Then I have no choice but to believe you, right?" Justin nods a third time, feeling more tears begin to spill. He thinks I'm a liar. I am a liar though... I'm awful. Ethan coos softly, "What's wrong? Why are you still crying?" Justin wipes his eyes with his hands, sniffling, "Because I keep making you mad... I can't do anything right!" Ethan smiles, "You're just tired. Here, have some Lo Mein." He stands up to reach the other carton of food. Justin shakes his head, "I'm not very hungry." Ethan gently pulls Justin up, "You have to eat. Here, I bought our favorites. Don't let it go to waste." Justin slowly sits down, more tears falling down his face. He couldn't stand the pain he was feeling inside, it was as if his heart was actually shattering into small glass pieces and cutting his very soul.

Ethan sympathesizes, "ooh, there there.." pulling him into a hug, Ethan holds him, gently consoling, "Everything is okay now... I'm not mad anymore... it's all forgiven... it's alright. I'm here..." Justin didn't know if Ethan's words should make him feel better or worse, all he knew was that he felt like dying. Ethan kisses his forhead, "Let me make it better..." slowly he removes Justin's shirt, and Justin can see the bruises that have formed on his upperarms from when Ethan shook him earlier. Ethan notices them too, "Oooh, my sweet darling...you bruise too easily!" and kisses the finger-shaped bruises. Justin sucks in his breath, trying to regain composture. It was just so hard for him to calm down, his whole body was shaking. Ethan slowly unclothed himself before unbuttoning Justin's pants. Softly, he whispers in Justin's ear, "I love you, Justin Taylor. I love you more than you'll ever be able to know. I'll never stop. You're mine, and I'm yours." Justin sighed, slowly letting his body give in to Ethan's voice and touch. Ethan smiles, tenderly pulling Justin down to the floor as he takes off Justin's jeans. His lips journey all over Justin's body, reaching his neck once again as he asks, "Whose are you..?" Justin exhales slowly, "Yours..." Ethan smiles, pleased.