Today was probably the first time I felt like maybe things would be okay after all. I had Justin back in my arms and he was just so Goddamn happy. I think I finally realized that he's not going anywhere. That he's here to stay. 
So now I'm just watching him sleep. He's so beautiful when he sleeps. Gently I run my hand down his pale back. I feel him stirring and he turns on his side to face me. 

"Are you okay?" He asks, still half asleep. 

I nod. "Yeah i'm fine." 

He wipes his eyes. "Go back to sleep." 

I smile and lay back down. He nuzzles his head into my chest and quickly falls asleep again. 

"I love you." I whisper knowing that he didn't hear. I'm not ready to admit it to him but I can finally say it to myself. We're going to be alright. We are. I know it.