I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't. Ethan had HIV. Ethan had died of HIV. Fuck! Shit! 

I watched myself drop the phone. It was like everything was happening in slow motion. Like it was happening to someone else. But it wasn't. It was happening to me. 

Later when Brian asked me why I let Ethan fuck me raw, I wanted to yell I didn't. I didn't at all. I fucking told him no. I kept on telling him no. That I never wanted it to happen. 

<i>~Flashback~ 

"You saw him. Didn't you?" Ethan accused me. 

I stammered for a moment. "No, I...Ethan I swear I didn't." 

"Don't lie to me!" Ethan screamed grabbing my arm. I tried to pull it back. But his grip was so tight. 

"Ethan you're hurting me." I whimpered trying to break free. I had never seen him like that. 

Ethan pulled me closer to him. "Big fucking deal! You think i'm not hurting because you went back to your sugar daddy?" 

"I didn't. Ethan I don't know what you're..." 

"I can smell him on you. I could smell him all the way down the hall." He sneers throwing me on the bed. "Did you let him fuck you?" 

I couldn't breath. I wanted to vomit. Ethan was on top of me on the bed, ripping my clothes away. "Ethan, please...stop." I begged. 

"You want it hard. I bet you let HIM fuck you so hard that you bled all over. I bet you begged for it." He whispers, running his hands over my body. I tried to break free, but Ethans a lot stronger than he looks. 

He yanks my head up to look at him and I know that he's ripped out some of my hair as well. He forces his mouth on mine, demanding entrance to it with his tongue. I manage to slap him, he retreats and punches me hard in the stomach and knocks the breath out of me. I didn't even realize he had flipped me onto my stomach after that. 

"Please don't do this Ethan. You can still stop." I beg, sobbing now. 

"You always let HIM fuck you in the ass. Now it's my turn." He growls. I feel him spreading my ass cheeks and I prepare myself for the intrusion. He plunges in me as hard as he can. I feel myself scream. Wait! Something is wrong! I didn't hear a condom wrapper. I feel him. 

"Ethan stop, please!" I beg. When I realize he isn't I just pray for him to cum fast and leave me alone. He does. In about five minutes I feel his cum inside me and it burns. I know I'll never wash it off. 

There's a shift in which I imagine him standing up. Hearing the door slam I pull myself into a tight ball and pray that the pain will go away. 

A few hours later I wake up and realize my lower half is covered in blood and cum. It's all over the sheets and even on the bed spread. 

The next morning he pretends nothing happened. That he didn't do anything. Even asks what happened to me. That's the day I decided to leave. 

~end flashback~<i>