Author's Note's: So here's the newest chapter. I hope you all like. Now it's not beta'd but my beta is working on it so if you'd rather wait because I must admit I am not all that great with the punctuations and grammar as some would like I suggest you do so. I will repost it when she can get it back to me. This isn't all that long sorry for that but it's sort of a transitional chapter. Let me know what you think kay?............SATURN
Kinnetically Charged Original I’m Going To Kill Mr. Daven Justin's POV: I'm going to kill Mr. Daven. I'm going to kill Mr. Daven. I'm going to kill Mr. Daven. This has been a mantra in my head since I woke up this morning. At fucking three am no less. And the mantra has yet to ease up even though it's five hours later. I mean this man and what he demands for his stupid fucking furniture account is going to make my life a living fucking hell for the next few weeks. Why wouldn't he just let me do the damn thing by myself? It's not like I couldn't do it. I already have some ideas that I think are pretty amazing for his account, and over the phone the bastard seemed to agree with me. So why is he making me do this? I'll tell you why; he's a selfish bastard! I'm going to kill Mr. Daven. I'm going to kill Mr. Daven. The mantra seems to start up again full swing as I pull into my parking space right in front of Kinnetic, and right next to Brian's Jeep. For which I've been trying not to dwell to, to much on the fact that in just a few minutes I'll be alone with Brian in his office. Watching the way he thinks so intensely when he is trying to get something just right, and the way he gets just the tiniest smile when he's finally gotten it just so. Not to mention and I wish I could forget this part the way he looks at me when I've just managed to in some way get exactly what he's talking about and bring it to life on a board. Have I mention that I'm going to kill Mr. Daven? Cause I am. I really, really am. "Let's get this shit over with." I get out my truck and make my way inside. KCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCO Brian's POV: I am so nervous right now. I mean palms sweaty, pacing nervous because I know he should be in here in just a few short minutes and it's got me all twisted in conflicting knots. The problem really is, is that I am fighting so hard against my feelings for Justin. I know that this is the way it has to be but I am fighting against myself all the way. I wonder if it’ll always be this hard? I can’t imagine it ever getting any easier, but at the same time I can’t imagine being like this for the rest of my life. It hurts so much. I wonder how much this is hurting Justin? Probably just as much; if not more. This is horrible. This whole situation is just horrible. ‘Knock....Knock.” hear from Justin and mine’s connecting door and I swear I feel my heart fly into my throat. I stop wringing my hands and take a deep breathe before I make my way to the door and open it up and there he is just as gorgeous as the night I fell in love with him if not more so. He’s got a small smile that I can’t help but return and it seems all the feelings I have for him are right at the forefront once again. I just don’t know how to keep fighting them. Maybe I should just break down and ask him how he does it so effortlessly. Or at least to me it always seems so effortlessly. I don’t know what it is that he did to me but ever since I gave myself fully to him almost six years ago I’ve never been the same. I can’t hide my feelings like I used. I can’t deny my feelings like I used and that my friends was my specialty. But with him it seems to be an impossible feat. “Do you want to get started?” he asks blinking a few times and letting his smile slip for just a second and I realize that we’ve done it once again we lost ourselves in each other and it makes me wonder if it’ll be possible for us to get this account done? “Of course,” I say standing to the side and motioning for him to come in. “Have a seat.” I close the door and make my way over to my desk and as I do I notice him putting some boards on the floor and propping up a notebook on his lap. So I stop at his side and as I lean down to pick up the boards I can feel his heat and I can smell his cologne and even him underneath it all. God he smells so fucking good. I can feel his eyes on me and as I look up to him he just gives me a half smile and a raised eyebrow. “These are just a few of the things I have thought up so far,” he finally says after what I am sure is an eternity but was probably only a few seconds. I nod my head and then give it a bit of a shake before I tear my eyes away from him and settle them back on the boards where they probably should’ve been this whole time. I stand up with them and take them around with me to my desk setting them on top. I look over each one and am amazed once again at his abilities in advertising and even more so in the artistry. “Well?” he finally questions as I am looking over the final board. “They’re amazing Justin,” I say truthfully and he gives me a huge grin biting down on his bottom lip as he does. God I love it when he does that. Damn him I can feel my dick getting extremely hard at the sight so I sit my ass down behind my desk where it’s safe to say he won’t be seeing what he does to me, although how he wouldn’t know just how he affects me is beyond me. “I have the perfect idea for this part,” I say pulling out the fourth board down and putting my full attention to it. He seems to have the same idea cause he’s pulling his chair forward and moving things to the side as I pull out a box of color pencils. Finally he settles his arms on my desk just like so many other times and I get to work on what I think would go best with the brilliant work he’s started. KCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKC Justin’s POV: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ About Twelve pm. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We’ve been working non stop since we started and it’s just like it was before. Our ideas and contributions compliment the other so well it’s hard to say who exactly did what. I have always loved that about us. The way we work so seamlessly together it’s always made me feel amazed and absolutely wonderful at the same time. To know that he just somehow knows exactly where I’m going with things; it’s just a wonderful feeling to know that we still have that together. It’s funny to that ever since we really got into this project things have seemed to settle between us a bit. It doesn’t seem so claustrophobic. Which is nice and gives me hope that this’ll somehow work out for us. ‘Knock....knock.’ We hear from the door and both of us look and watch Cynthia coming in with a smile and a bag of what I am hoping is food. I am starving. I just couldn’t get myself to eat this morning. I was just way to nervous. “I thought you guys could use a bit of a break and of course food,” she says holding up the bag as she walks to the coffee table. I know I have a huge grateful smile on my face as I get up and follow the food which by what I can already smell is Chinese food and I can bet you anything she remembered exactly what I like. “Thank the gods,” I say rubbing my hands together and then plopping myself onto the couch just as she’s putting the food out on the table. “Everything smells so good.” “I got you all your favorites,” she says with a smile that I return. “What about me?” Brian asks with a fake pout as he sits down beside me. However I am starting feel that it’s a little to close. I can feel his heat and smell his skin and cologne. Oh boy... it’s alright just concentrate on the food. I tell myself as I start to open up the cartons. “Ah, I figured you could just fend for yourself,” she says blowing off the implication. “Here Bri,” I say handing over his Beef and Broccoli and as he takes it from me his fingers graze over mine and it sends that same jolt straight to my dick as it always has. Damn him. “Well at least someone thinks of me,” he says. “Oh please,” she replies waving him off. “Well you guys enjoy your lunch.” she says as she starts to make her way to the door. “You’re not going to eat with us?” Brian asks a bit to eagerly. I mean shit what does he think I’m gonna do jump him the moment she walks out the door? “Charlie should be here any minute to pick me up,” ah the new boyfriend, shit that woman still goes right through the men. “He’s taking me out to lunch.” “Tell him I said hi,” I say casually as I open up my kung poi chicken and then grab my fork. The chopsticks now a days are just to frustrating. “I will.” she says as she closes the door. I feel Brian shifting around on the couch and I make a decision. Shoving my fork in my carton and standing up. “What are you doing?” Brian asks sounding concerned, but I won’t show him what the real problem is. “I have a few things I need to look over for another account, so I’m gonna go ahead and eat while I do that.” I say as I grab up my cartons. As I start to go past him though he grabs my hip and holy shit! Now there’s a shock to the system. However he seems to have felt it too because just as quickly as he touched me his hand is gone and taking a breath I look down to him. “But I thought,”he starts without losing his concern but adding confusion to that it seems, but I quickly cut him off. “We’ll get the work done,” I say nodding my head. “I just figured I’d go ahead and get some of my other work done as well.” which isn’t a total lie in itself it’s just not the total truth either. I just really don’t want to be witness to just how uncomfortable he is with me right now. But I am seeing his expression change to disbelief as he points to the couch. “Sit your ass down and eat,”he says seemingly pulling out of his stupor. So I comply sitting my cartons back on the table and my ass right back on the couch where it previously was. Hoping that this is the right decision but not really knowing for sure because I can still feel his fingers, and heat against my waist and I am desperately trying to fight the urge to jump him right on this couch because I haven’t always been known to be able to resist the Kinney touch. Shit this sucks! “So what are you working on now?” I ask after a few minutes, because I have never been very good with awkward silences, and I really need to focus on something other than my dick right now and this seems to be the only non lethal form of conversation for me with him. KCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKC Brian’s POV: “Hunh?” I ask a little confused and surprised when his words start to filter through my crazed head. God I haven’t touched his waist since he first woke and we spent that one last night together. I miss him so fucking much. “I asked what about what you’ve been working on lately,” he asks a bit more deliberately and I’m sure slower than the first time and I can tell by the tiny smirk on his face which I must say he is at least trying to hide that he is getting a bit of pleasure out of my obvious discomfort. “Um... well,” shit I’m trying to reorganize my thoughts away from him and back on work where I know they should’ve been this whole time and yet I am having a lot of difficulty doing so. “It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it.” he says obviously giving me an easy out. But still nothing is coming to mind as the only thing I can concentrate on his starting to eat his chow mein. Holy shit! Bad fucking thoughts, that go straight to my cock. What those lips can do to my cock. Damn it! I quickly stand up. “What’re you doing?” he asks clearly as surprised as I was in my abruptness. “Well...” shit I’ve got to get a fucking rip here. “Um...” yeah that was real eloquent Kinney! “Okay,” he says drawing out the word with a bit of annoyance coming through. Which I can completely understand. “I’m just gonna head back over to my office.” however this time I wisely or at least I think it’s wisely decide to not argue with him because quite frankly I am so ready to crack and big time. When I finally hear our connecting door softly click closed a few seconds later I literally feel the air in my lungs completely leave me. Shit I thought I was going to explode! Hell I might still explode I think to myself as I give my cock a hard squeeze willing it to go down. Okay just calm down. Take a breathe..... “Oh fuck all that zen shit!! This is a completely and utterly fucked situation. Which makes me in turn completely and utterly fucked! What made me think that working with Justin in such close quarters was a good idea in any form? Well that’s actually really easy... I miss him. But shit I love hm and want him so fucking much that I don’t know if I can hold out. It’s never been something that I could do when it came to Justin. He’s the one man that I have never been able to curb my appetite for and the fact that I love the man and shit just want to be with him every way possible isn’t making matters any easier. Because yeah fucking is one thing but that’s not all I want from him.... I want everything from him and with him. So what made me think that now would be any different? That I would miraculously be able to control myself around him? Oh that’s right my mind wouldn’t let me think about that part of this fucked up equation. Either way I guess it really doesn’t matter since we were, and are going to have to work on this account regardless of our feelings. Because that’s what Mr. Daven wants. Motherfucker! I swear it I am going to kill Mr. Daven..... KCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKC Justin’s POV: As I sit behind my desk I can’t help but wonder what the fuck just happened? I mean seriously we weren’t even touching and he jumps up as if there’s a fire under his ass. It completely threw me for a loop, that’s for sure. I almost dropped my fucking chow mein. Fucking asshole. I was after all trying my very best to realize the tension between us. But I don’t know maybe my true feelings are more open to him then I thought and I have been doing my damndest to keep them under wraps. See I knew this was going to happen. I knew it and yet I got Brian last night thinking this is just the greatest idea in the whole fucking world. Well I guess he’s finally realizing just how hard it’s going to be. Serves him right, because I’m not sure what else I could possibly do to make this easier on him and even myself ‘cause seriously I have been putting up every defense I have in my arsenal. Shit I am going to kill Mr. Daven. But in the mean time, I fire up my computer and try to refocus on my work cause I know I have a ton of it and I need the distraction, and eventually it works. In the end I thankfully lose myself in another account that is until I hear the phone ring and I automatically pick it up not really to interested as I say... “Taylor,” “I’m gonna call it a night,” I hear Brian says evenly on the other end and right away he has my attention. Looking at the clock I see that it’s already a little after 5:00. “Shit,” I mutter. Damn it I didn’t mean to let the time get away from me like that. “I know, I got lost in my work as well,” he says with a little chuckle that makes my stomach tighten. “I figured we’d pick this back up at about ten tomorrow morning?” “Why so late?” I ask with a frown not that he can see, but whatever. “Have you forgotten about yours and Jonathan’ big night out?” and I can hear the humor in his voice and the fact that my stomach sinks at the fact that he seems to be okay with me going out is not something that I am willing to examine in any way shape or form ever for the rest of my life. “No,” I obviously lie but he doesn’t need to know that. “But that has no barring on tomorrow...” “Justin, go out and have some fun,” he says cutting me off. “You definitely deserve it.” and I can hear the sincerity in his voice but could’ve sworn that I heard an undertone of sadness, and I am sure that I am just misreading him so I shake it off quickly. “Ten a.m. then,” I finally say really needing this conversation to end but as I am about to hang up I faintly hear him.. “And Justin,” I bring the phone back up to my ear. “Make sure you take that nap.” he says in a somewhat stern voice and I have to admit if only to myself that my heart swelled and dropped all at the same time at his continued concern for me even if it’s only in a friends capacity. “I will,”I saying hoping it’s said without to much emotion showing through but not really knowing for sure. “Later Jus,” he says in that same old tone that’s always gotten to me in more ways than one. “Later Bri,” I answer realizing that I didn’t keep my emotions at all in check so I quickly hang up not knowing what else to do. “Shit, shit fucking A!” I whisper loudly to nothing more than the shadows on the wall. KCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKC Brian’s POV: As I drive back to the loft all I can think about is the way he said ‘Later Bri,’ shit it was a little shy and a little breathless and it was definitely all Justin and it went straight to my heart and head and then hit my cock with a bang. Fucken A, I have already jacked off once sitting at my desk because my cock simply couldn’t take the pressure anymore and now it looks like I’ll be doing it once again when I get back to the loft. I will of course be doing that sitting in the Jeep because if I go in there with a huge fucking boner I am going to have a whole new set of problems to look forward to and I do not want to fight with Collin tonight I just don’t think I could do it and I know without a doubt I can’t be with him physically, and yes I know how fucked that sounds but I can’t help the way I feel and the fact that my cock just simply won’t cooperate with me or him is no small exception. Plus there is the extra worry over Justin going to Forever Young tonight. Without me there with him. To dance with him and kiss him and lick the sweat off his collar bone and neck... “Mmmhhhm,” I groan as I feel my cock get that much harder and I reach down giving it a rub a tug and a squeeze to round it off. Shit I haven’t been this hard in forever it seems. But I guess I really can’t be surprised after spending so much time with Justin today. He’s done it to me. I never stood a chance with him. From the very first time I saw him I knew without a doubt he was the one for me. Even if I fought tooth and nail against it, it never stopped it from being true and now that’s all taken away from me. From us. “Shit,” I mutter as I feel my cock slowly going down as more horrible thoughts fill my head. Because there are plenty to choose from today especially. With going out with his ex- boyfriend, there goes that cringe again, fuck. Plus he’s going to be in a place where every single fag in the whole god damned place is going to be looking at him and wanting him and of course going after him and after all it’s not like there is anything holding him back or stopping him. I gave up that right a long time ago when I was stupid enough to say yes to a stupid ass question that knew was wrong and knew my answer should’ve been no. fuck I really fucked up royally this time. Our lives are doomed to be fucked now in so many ways and I don’t know how to possibly change that. All I can really hope for is that somewhere down the line something will change for the better. I have no idea what that could possibly be but I am hoping. I pull up outside of the loft and without having to jerk off before going up stairs I heave myself out of the Jeep, because truthfully I feel as if I have the wait of the world or the very least three ruined lives on my shoulders and it’s a lot to carry. I just want to go upstairs and bury myself in my work and hopefully it will keep me from thinking about Justin with all those other men and even more so me being with Justin for me a second time today. But as I pull open the loft doors I can see that, that isn’t going to be in the cards for me either. Shit, shit fucking shit! KCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKCOKC Justin’s POV: After I hung up with Brian I waited about another half an hour before I got up the nerve and land legs to get up and walk out of Kinnetics. I mean shit I really couldn’t afford to run into him after that so I took the cowards way out... or maybe it could be considered the smart way out. ‘Cause think about who would really gain from me running into Brian on our way out and me shamelessly throwing myself at him in front of everyone, cause truthfully I think that’s exactly what would have happened. God I am pathetic when it comes to that man. I could only ever barely contain myself when he was around and thinking that I am any stronger than I was before the accident is just foolish thinking on my part. “Errrr!” I practically screech out as soon as I close the door to my truck. I however don’t have the time to sufficiently waist in wallowing in self pity because I did in deed promise my best friend a night out on the town. I think it’ll be good though. To get out with other people again. To go dance my troubles away. Maybe that’s exactly what I need right about now. At least I am hoping so because I can’t keep gong like this. With that solemn thought I start up my truck and make the drive back to Trudy’s and Jarred’s house. Which is another thing I have to start thinking about. Getting my own place again because even though I know they love having me and I have been more than grateful for their support I can’t stay here forever nor do I want to. I have always after all been self sufficient and I really need to get that back. Sooner rather than later. But right now I need sleep if I am ever going to make it out with Jonathan tonight. So I make my way upstairs and just flop right on the bed. I’ll do showering and everything else when I get up. This day was for shit am I am exhausted from it.