Okay so this is the next chapter of course but I must warn you it’s not Beta’d so forgive the mistakes. I tried my best to make sure everything was in order however I am not all that great with the whole comma here and there thing. But anyways a big thank you needs to go out to zain. She’s been such a big help to me lately. So thank you. Okay I hope you all like it. Let me know...........SATURN
Kinnetically Charged Split Personality Losing Track Justin’s POV: As I start to get ready for tonight and Forever Young I feel this incredibly sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I haven’t been able to shake it since I realized that it’ll be the first time Brian and I are in a place like Forever Young together. I’m not naive enough to think he won’t trick in front of me. So I’m just wondering what the fuck was going through my mind when I said yes to this. I mean shit I am going to have to get over this shit if I ever want to be able to hang out with Brian and his friends. But then again do I really care if I hang around with his friends? The truth is not really. Now in the case of Brian the answer is yes, I want to be able to hang out with him and be at the very least friends with him. This shit is just all to complicated. I wish I didn’t have to see him trick. I just don’t want to see him with another man. Which I know is completely selfish since we’re not even together but that is the whole reason we’re not together. I hate all of this I truly do. Maybe I should just cancel. I mean they don’t need me to go out with them. I’ll just call Emmet and tell him something came up. I grab my phone and start to dial when I hear a knock at the door, so I hang up the phone and go to answer it first. As I get to the door though I feel that pull. The one that tells me it’s Brian behind the door, and I just freeze. He hasn’t been here since before we stopped seeing each other in that certain way. This has been my sanctuary since then and if he comes in here I’m just not sure what will happen. “I know you’re in there Justin,” he says quietly and I know my time of debate is over with. Damn it. I walk over to the door and take a deep breath before I turn the lock and then the knob. “Sorry about that I was just finishing in the other room.” I say trying to play off my hesitation. “Un hunh,” he says and then there is silence. “Well are you going to invite me in or what?” he asks with a tiny laugh, and so I reluctantly step aside and he walks in. “Place looks the same.” “I’m not much for decorating changes,” I tell him closing the door and then stepping around him. “Have a seat.” I say as I make my way to the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?” “No, I can wait till we get to Forever Young.” he says taking a seat on the couch. “Yea, about that,” I say walking back into the livingroom. “I think I’m going to go ahead and stay in tonight.” he looks to me with disbelief in his eyes. “Really? And why’s that?” “Well I have that flight to catch pretty early in the morning,” I find myself reaching for the answers to this seemingly easy question and I know he can see me doing it. “And it’s a huge account and I want to be fresh for the meeting.” god I can’t do this. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSP Brian’s POV: He’s lying to me. I wonder what makes him think I wont know the difference? I mean he should know by now that I know him to well for him to get away with it. “So what’s the real reason you don’t want to come out with us tonight?” “What are you talking about?” he says trying to look as if he really has no idea what the hell I’m talking about. I stand up and move towards him just a little bit. “I’m talking about the fact that you’re handing me a load of bullshit even though you know, I know you to well.” I say with a bit to much anger. He turns from me and walks over to the window. “Look I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell,” I say softly and calmly but he only acknowledges me with a nod of his head. “I just hate that you’re lying to me. You should know you can tell me anything.” I say just as softly as I make my way to him, and when I am right behind him I gently put my hand on his shoulder. “I just don’t think I’m ready for this Brian,” he says solemnly, and not only do I know why he doesn’t want to come but I feel horrible for the reason. “I’m strong, but some things hurt no matter how much I fight against them.” “How about when you’re out with us I just don’t trick?” I say turning him around to face me, however he’s looking to the floor so I lift his chin with my finger. “Would that make you feel more comfortable?” “No, to tell you the truth it wouldn’t,” he says with furrowed brows. “I decided not to be with you so we wouldn’t have to go through this very situation. So you wouldn’t have to hide who you are.” he has such passion with what he’s saying, and I know that he doesn’t want to hinder the way I am or to make me feel as if I have to hide from him. But for me I just want him to be comfortable around me and to be able to come out with me. I don’t know maybe I am just being way too naive about this situation. “So just let me make my excuses and then, when I’m ready I will go out with you and the guys.” “I hate to think of you hiding from me in any way as well you know,” I say because it’s true and that is exactly what he’s trying to do, not that I can blame him for wanting to. “But I’m fine Brian I just need a little more time to get my head in the right place,” he says and I can see that he’s telling the truth. “That’s all and as soon as I do I swear it’ll be just like nothing ever happened.” but I don’t want that, I never want him to act as though nothing ever happened. The time we spent together meant a lot to both of us. “So what you just want to forget everything that happened between us?” I say confused, because that is like a kick in the gut. I don’t understand why he’d want to forget about our time together. “That’s not what I said,” he says cooly. “Well then why don’t you just cut to the chase and tell me what the hell you mean.” he looks so perplexed and I know exactly why he is. I am completely losing it here and I can’t seem to stop myself. “Damn it Brian, what do you want from me?” he asks shaking his head “I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances.” “This isn’t my fault Justin. I didn’t want any of this,” I say running a hand through my hair trying my best to calm down. “I wanted us together.” “I know that’s what you wanted. It’s what we both wanted,” I know he’s telling the truth it just doesn’t make any of this any easier. It actually makes it harder I think. “But trying to let all of that go and get to some kind of friendship with you is just a little harder than I expected.” “Justin, why are we doing this?” I seriously ask because seriously I have no idea why we’re doing this to ourselves. “Brian you know the answer to that.” he says shaking his head at me with a look of pure pain. “Maybe, but look at us Justin. We’re miserable without each other,” it’s as true for him as it is for me. “How can anything be worse than being without each other?” I cup his cheek and feel him lean into my touch as he puts his hand against mine. “God I miss you,” he says so quietly as he closes his eyes. He brings his lips to my hand and that gives me the strength to step closer to him. He grabs a hold of my shirt and I bring up my hand behind his neck, and he lowers his head against my chest, and I just kiss the top of his head. I take a deep breath and bring him tighter against myself. God he feels so good against me, it’s just perfect. I kiss the top of his head once more then I move down kissing his temple then his cheek, and I keep going for his lips. “I can’t,” I hear him say and it makes me open my eyes just as he’s looking down to the floor with furrowed brows. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.” he brings my hand over to kiss once more before he slowly lets it go. “I wish I could.” he says finally looking into my eyes, while he bites his lower lip. I close my eyes as I realize that he’s really not going to ever give into me again. Not the way I have been wishing for. “Please understand,” he says in a pleading tone that breaks my heart and just makes me want to make it all better for him in any way possible. Which makes me realize what I have to do for him. “I’ll let the guys know that you weren’t feeling to well.” I say after a few minutes and I can’t believe I am doing this again. I’m just letting him go without a fight. “Thank you Brian.” he says and I just have to get out of here. “I’m gonna go,” I say walking to the door and right before I walk out I remember. “Good luck tomorrow.” I say with a small smile, which he returns, but I have to force myself to turn away from him now before I do something that he won’t be very happy about. As I close the door I hear a soft ‘Thanks.’ but I don’t reply or even acknowledge it. I just can’t bring myself to do it. As I make my way through the streets and towards Forever Young I can’t help the feeling of wanting to just go home and crash. This has all taken so much out of me, and I hate to admit that but it’s the truth. However I know that if I go home without making an appearance the guys will get the completely wrong idea and they will more than likely say this to Justin and that will just put more strain on him and I don’t want that for him. I really want to try and make this as easy for the both of us as possible. Especially since I realize now that he is extremely serious in what he says about being with me and also about his limits. Plus I’m sure with time like he said it’ll get easier for the both of us. In time it won’t seem like work. But for now it’s going to take a lot of work on both our parts. I’m just hoping that time will hurry up and get to that easier point. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKC Justin’s POV: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Few Days Later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The taxi is about to pull up to the office and I feel a little sick to my stomach. All I have been thinking about the last couple of days is the other night with Brian. It hurt so much to have to turn him away again. Especially since all I really wanted to do was to accept him back into my life in any way possible. But in the end I knew that it wasn’t possible for me to do that to myself or to him. We would end up making each other miserable and I don’t want that for either of us. After saying hello to some of the people in the office and Emma I thankfully close the door to my office. I was hoping to see Brian and at the same time grateful I didn’t. I guess I’m just not to sure what to say to him. Or how to react. It’s all so very complicated right now. My head is so full of everything I ever wanted with him. It’s hard to let it all go and even harder since the other night. I knew he still wanted us together, and he knew I still wanted the same thing. But to have him there ready to give it another go it just put it all back to the forefront of my mind. Not that it wasn’t anyways but now even more so. I am just fighting so hard to keep myself control, but it’s so hard when all I ever wanted was him. I hear a knock on our connecting bathroom door and my heart starts to race a million miles a minute. I practically jump out of my skin when I see the door crack open and his gorgeous head poke through. God I missed him. Still do in fact. “Am I interrupting?” he asks, and I just shake my head no and watch as he walks into my office and closes the door behind him. “Cynthia told me you were back.” “Oh, yeah...” I say trailing off and itching my temple because I have no idea where to take the conversation next. “Have you even been home yet?” he asks gesturing to my suit case. “I wanted to get the contracts filed and pick up a file I wanted to get started on tonight.” I say shrugging my shoulders. It’s not a big deal really. I figure I’ll get home when I get home. “So everything went well?” he questions and I realize that I should’ve called him. He is my partner in this business and he has a right to know about the meetings and such things. “Yeah, yeah of course.” I say quickly and then I decide that maybe I should move away from the door instead of looking like a complete idiot that can’t make a move with him in the room. So I start moving for my desk. “That’s good,” “I should’ve called,” I say when I get to my desk and turn to look at him. “It was just...” I trail off again losing my ability to explain further. “It’s alright I figured we’d talk when you got back, and look... we’re talking.” he says with a small smile. “Yes we are,” I say quietly, but I quickly remind myself to pull out of this really bad emotional path before it gets to much. “Have a seat.” I say as I yank myself back into a more professional mode and take a seat myself. I really have to focus on trying to keep my cool a lot better than I have been lately. “So,” he says in a questioning tone but I’m not sure what he’s wanting so I just feel my face screw up in questioning. “The meeting?” “Oh right yea,” jesus Justin pull it the fuck together. You are making yourself look like a complete fool. Yet again. “Well the pitch went perfectly,” I say being completely smug about the whole thing and getting myself back from idiotville. “Of course,” “Of course. They loved the ideas and thought the boards were perfect,” “Never had a doubt,” “They want us to go ahead with everything.” I pull out the contracts for him to look over. “Well why don’t you go ahead and get the things you wanted and then get home,” he says looking them over. “I can get these filed, and have your team start on the rest.” “I’d really appreciate that,” I am so fucking tired I haven’t slept in at least two days. “How’s everything going here?” “Like clockwork actually,” he says with a tiny smile. Which I return. “I must admit that I thought it’d be harder starting off. But actually having competent workers makes everything so much easier.” “So you don’t miss the fuck up twins?” I ask with a smile. “God no,” he says squinting his eyes in disgust. “Just getting away from them is reason enough to start our own company.” I must agree with him. They managed to fuck up two of the accounts I was working on just because they thought they knew better. “I have to agree with you there,” I say as I start to get some things ready to take home. The folders are already ready for me after all. Emma is a saint. “Is there anything else you’d like me to start for you here?” “Um no I’m good until tomorrow. I just had some ideas running around in my head that I wanted to get down,” I say put the folders into my briefcase. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKC Brian’s POV: Damn he looks exhausted, I must look the same. I haven’t slept well in days. Ever since I found out I have no chance in changing his mind. It’s just so hard getting over this, I never knew it’d be so hard. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks glancing in my direction as he gets his things ready. And other than the thought of just wanting him to forget about me tricking and let us be together I can’t think of anything. “I can’t think of anything right now. Plus you need to go home and sleep.” he looks up to me then and just sort of tilts his head in response. He must be having as much trouble sleeping as I am. Which is understandable. “Alright that’s everything,” he says standing up and grabbing all of his things. “We can go over the rest tomorrow morning, right?” “Absolutely.” he gives me a small smile which I return and then I watch him leave. He seems so fine with this whole situation. I mean I know he’s not but why is it so easy for him to be so indifferent towards me. At least when I first walked in he seemed somewhat flustered but he quickly got back to indifference and I just hate it when he does that. I mean shit can’t there be an in-between? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That Night At Forever Young ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As I throw back yet another shot trying to rid myself of some frustration. I notice a very fine looking trick dancing and staring at me and I think this might help me along. Shit it’s almost never failed me in the past. However it seems to fail a lot when it concerns a certain blonde. But we’ll give it a shot non the less. I make my way to him and pretty much mold myself against him getting a very big smile and a very hard cock against my thigh for the trouble. Which is always nice. We dance a few more songs before I whisper those few little words that always have them eating out of my hand. Not that I need them of course but I use them non the less. However when I start to pull him towards the backroom he stops me in my tracks with a tug of my arm. Which annoys me to no end and I know my annoyance is clearly written on my face when I turn to him. But he just gives me a slight smile and leans up to whisper in my ear. “Let’s go to your place,” oh hell I haven’t been able to take anyone there since Justin found me there with that trick. And I know it’s delusional but I keep thinking that maybe he’ll forget about all this and show up at my door and I just don’t want to tempt fate with the ammo. “I don’t think so,” I reply and start towards the backroom once more. But again he stops me. “Shit.” I say under my breath. I’m beginning to think this isn’t worth trouble. “Let’s go back to my place then,” he says as he molds himself to my back since I wasn’t about to turn around again. But this is acceptable I guess. He just better be worth the trouble. I turn and nod my head and don’t waist anymore time as I make my way through the club and to the Jeep. He jumps in as well and he starts to give me directions to his place. As we get to his apartment building which is in the most expensive building in all of Pittsburgh I find that even with my high standards it’s not in the least my style. It has to much gold and shit all over the walls. It seems more than a bit tacky. But hey that’s just me. We take an elevator up to the 29th floor and then to his apartment. As we walk in I notice that even if the rest isn’t my style this view is amazing. It looks over all of Pittsburgh it seems. I’ve always loved lights and all the moving people below. It’s the one thing I miss about my office at Vanguard. Damn I had a great view. However with Justin in the new office everyday I have an even better view. Shit how is it possible for him to constantly be in my thoughts. “Would you like something to drink?” the guy asks before I can go any further into that thought process. “Bedroom?” is my only reply because seriously I just wanna fuck this guy and get out of here. He points his finger to the room behind me and so I start to make my way through as I slide my shirt off. As I start to take off my shoes I hear him clear his throat behind me. “Brian?” well, well that’s got my attention and I stop what I’m doing and turn very slowly towards him. I don’t believe I told this guy my name. I know I have to look pissed and the guy ringing his hands must feel it as well. “I knew your name from around the club.” ah I see. “I thought we could take a shower first?” he questions and I could go for a shower fuck. “Sure,” I say and he smiles again and starts for the connecting door, right as he goes through he turns towards me. “I’m Collin by the way,” he says so quickly that I don’t have the chance to say anything. Really doesn’t matter though, I’m already starting to forget. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKC Justin’s POV: I move the clock for the fifteenth million time tonight to see that it’s now four o’ clock in the morning and of it’s own volition my arm throws the clock against the wall. I swear it I have spent four hours in this bed without any sleep and I don’t see sleep anywhere in my future. I can’t seem to get my head to stop thinking when I’m in bed and the only thoughts I can mange lately are of Brian. The only times I can really keep my mind off of him is when I work. So I think I am just going to do that. Plus Benjamin has been asking me when I want to really start with this whole art show stuff. I have been putting it off somewhat because Brian and I have been trying to get the business going and I know I shouldn’t be because it’s a huge opportunity. So I guess that’s just what I’ll do for now. I’ll paint. So I crawl out of bed and go into the livingroom closet to get out all of my stuff. When I’ve got everything set up I just start. I don’t think I just let myself go. Which has always brought me the best results. ~~~~~~~~~~~ A While Later ~~~~~~~~~~~ ‘Ring......ring,” ah shit who the fuck could that possibly be? I run to the phone cause quite frankly I don’t want to hear it anymore. “Yeah?” I say with a bit of annoyance. “Hey,” Brian says sounding confused. “Brian, what’s up?” I say tuning my attitude down. “Is everything okay?” and he sounds a bit concerned. “Of course, I just hate my phone that’s all,” I say with a little laugh, as I fiddle with the colors on my pallet. “Why?” “Well it’s just that it’s twelve,” what? I glance over at the clock and sure enough it’s twelve o one. Shit how did that happen. I look over to my newest painting and I know exactly how it happened. “And I was just getting a little worried. That’s all.” “No I’m fine. I was just painting and lost track of time.” I say as I start to wash out my brushes so that I can go to work. Shit I can’t believe I let this happen. “Not a problem. Like I said I was just a little worried,” he sounds so concerned so I know that, that is really the only reason for his call. “I know I’m sorry I didn’t mean to lose track of time,” I say running to the bathroom and starting the shower. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” god why does he have to sound so caring? “Yea,” I say quietly. Everything goes quiet for a minute as I just listen to him breathing and when I finally figure out what I’m doing I break myself out of this stupor. “I have paint all over me so I’m gonna jump in the shower real quick. I should be at the office within the hour.” “Not a problem,” he says as he clears his throat. “Enjoy your shower and I’ll see you when you get here.” “Thanks Brian, later.” “Later.” he says a bit quietly before he hangs up. God this is hard. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKC Brian’s POV: God this is so hard. I wish it would get easier already. But I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will. I mean shit I think about him constantly, I worry about him constantly, I want him constantly, and I just can’t seem to figure out how to turn these things off. Ever since I first met the man I knew that he was special. I just somehow knew it. Now maybe I didn’t know just how special he was at that point in time but it didn’t take long to figure it out; even though I was fighting against the truth of it the whole entire time. He’s just simply put, the one for me. Knowing that though and actually being able to give that person what they want at this point in time is a completely different thing. I guess the best I can hope for is that when I am ready he’ll still be there. But until then I just need to keep going in the direction of trying to get back to some sort of normalcy. Because even though I haven’t stopped tricking and things such as that the fun part about it just isn’t there right now. The whole time I was with that trick last night the only thing I could think about was Justin, and just how much better it would feel with him underneath me. I swear I tried to forget about him but I just couldn’t, and so just as soon as I finished I was out of that shower and leaving with the guy traipsing behind me asking what was wrong and whatever else that I didn’t care to hear so stopped listening to. I just couldn’t be there anymore. I shake my head and try to refocus on the work I have sitting in front of me right now. At least until Justin gets into the office. After all we have business to discuss. That’s all it is. I wonder just how long and how many times I am going to have to tell myself that before it might become true? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ About An Hour Later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ‘Knock.....Knock’ I hear coming from Justin and mines connecting bathroom door and I feel my stomach jump. God I am pathetic when it comes to him. “Come in,” I say as I straighten out myself just the tiniest bit. It may just be business but it doesn’t mean I can’t look my best. “Hey Bri,” he says with a bit of a guilty smile. “I am really sorry about this morning,” he starts to apologize as he sits down with files and boards in his hands, and I try to shake my head for him not to worry but he keeps going. “I swear it won’t happen again.” “Justin it’s not a big deal,” because it wasn’t we didn’t have any appointments scheduled it was just that we needed to talk sometime today. “You didn’t even have to come in today if you were onto something with your painting. I know how important it is to you. We could’ve just done this talk over the phone.” “My painting is something for the off hours,” he says giving me a serious look. “We are partners in this business and I don’t expect you to do all the hard work while I just sit at home and paint. That’s just ridiculous.” “I know you don’t Jus, I didn’t mean it that way,” I say in confusion. He should know I wouldn’t think that of him. “I know, I’m sorry it’s just that I can’t believe I did that. I am always on time for everything,” he is always on time which is why I was getting so worried. “And if you hadn’t called me I would still probably be in my livingroom oblivious.” “Yea well what are partners for?” when he looks up to me with a raised eyebrow I realize just how that statement could be taken in so many different ways with us. “So what do you have there?” I ask trying to get us off the sore subject. “These are the finished boards for the Hampton’s account,” he says holding them in front of him as he stands and damn it are they perfect. More than I could’ve wished for. I get up and move around the desk to stand right in front of him so I can really study them. “Now I know this isn’t exactly what you asked for. But I think that with your idea’s for them and mine put together it really works.” he says in an almost questioning manor but still with so much confidence. I look up to him and notice just how nervous he is and I can’t help the fact that my hand is now on his cheek with my thumb rubbing against it. “They’re perfect,” I say with a soft smile and I can see the relief wash over him as he most likely unconsciously leans into my hand. But I could care less of the reason I am just happy to see that I’m not completely resistible to him. However he seems to realize just what he’s done because he pretty quickly straightens up and so I drop my hand knowing the moment is all to quickly over. “So now you can get the rest started,” he says handing me the boards which I take and give another satisfied look before I go back around my desk and sit in my chair. “Now this is the mock up boards for Elements.” “Oh wow,” this is a for the newest hot spot Sea food restaurant. “That’s amazing.” “I was hoping you’d like it. I haven’t decided if the colors are right yet but I’m not completely done with it. So for now it’s okay.” “I think their perfect,” they really are. “Yea?” he says glancing at me with a scrunched up nose and I have to smile at that because he always looks so damn cute when he does that. Not that I would ever admit that to anyone but myself. But he does non the less. “Eh we’ll see.” he says looking to the boards once more before he sets them down in front of my desk and sits himself back down in the chair while he reaches for his files. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKC Justin’s POV: We spend another hour going over the next couple of accounts and then the next couple of days before we decide that is good for now and I go back to my office. Hitting my head against the back of the door after I close it. Shit the feel of his hand against my cheek is still there and it practically burns for more. I am so pathetic when it comes to him. I couldn’t even keep myself from turning into his touch. I should’ve been able to at the very least do that. But no, I can’t seem to resist him when he touches me. Although I must pat myself on the back for pulling away after only a couple of seconds. ‘Knock.....knock’ “Ah!” I yelp as Brian knocks on our connecting door. I just wasn’t expecting it. I quickly turn and open the door, and there he is with my boards for the Elements account. “I thought you might need these,” he says as I grab for them. “Are you okay?” he asks with furrowed brows and a tiny smile. “Yea just wasn’t expecting the knock that’s all,” and it surprises me because I am usually so in touch with the simple fact that he is near, but I guess I really can’t blame myself since when I’m here it’s hard to distinguish the closeness since I always have that tingly feeling. “But thank you for these.” “Sure,” he says with that same damn tiny smile. “Are you enjoying yourself?” I sarcastically ask because I know he just wants to burst out laughing right about now, and he does after my comment put his hand over his mouth to block the chuckle that he can’t contain. “You’re a shit.” “I know,” he says with a laugh. “But I can’t help it, I’m just so good at it.” and then he laughs a bit more. “Well as long as I can keep you entertained,” I say just as sarcastically with a fake smile to boot as I turn around to go put the things on my desk. “Oh come on Jus,” he says as I hear him coming in. “You know if the tables were turned you’d be laughing your ass off. Not to mention you wouldn’t even try to hold it back.” “True,” I say with a point of my finger as I face him and sit in my desk chair. “See, I knew it,” he says so self satisfied that it makes me want throw something at him. But I refrain. Just barely. “I’ll leave you now that I have proved my point.” he says turning and as he heads for the door I grab up a paper ball and throw it at his head. “Hey!” he says swinging around only to come face to face with my self satisfied smile. “I feel much better now.” I say leaning back in my chair. “I bet you do,” he says leaning down to grab the paper ball and right away he launches it right back at me, but seeing it coming I catch it and launch it back at him right as one hits me in the face. Shit I have to many of these things all over the floor, I think as I dodge another one, and as I am I grab a few and throw them at him as I get up from my chair. The ones I throw hit him in the back only cause he turned away from them. He quickly turns and starts to throw the others that he has in his hands, they hit me the same as him and even one gets my ass as I try to pick up some more. He’s started to laugh and I can’t help but start to laugh myself because seriously what the fuck are we five? We keep going though because it is fun. Suddenly though as I am turned around to get some off the couch I feel Brian pretty much tackle me onto said couch. We wrestle for a minute until he’s got me pinned on my back with him sitting on my hips, keeping my hands over my head with his holding onto my wrists, and our faces are only a few inches apart. We are both breathless and smiling, and I want him so very much. I can see all of my feelings reflected back in his eyes ten fold. I can’t move and I don’t know what I’d do if I could but staring into his eyes right now I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back from kissing him. He starts to lean in and with an almost questioning slowness, and I know what his questions are but I can’t seem to turn him away. Not again. I want this way to much. So I just look into his eyes until his lips touch mine, and my eyes just slowly close in pure pleasure, and his moans ringing in my ears. I feel his tongue playing against my lips and immediately open my mouth and start to move mine around his. I want to touch him so badly but when I try to pull my wrist free he tightens his hold over them. I know he’s scared that I am just going to push him away but to tell you the truth I wouldn’t even if I wanted to. However I have to touch him. So I yank my wrists free and he grunts in displeasure right before I hear the sweet sound of a long pleasure felt moan as I bury my fingers in his hair, and practically crush our mouths together. I want to be deeper. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKC Brian’s POV: I can’t believe it. How did this happen? Do I really care how the fuck this happened? No, I could really care less. All I really care about is the fact that I have him right where he belongs, and he’s not pulling away. Instead he’s pulling me in deeper and it feels so incredible. I have missed being with him completely like this. I have never felt more complete than I do when he’s in my arms. And yes I do realize just how corny and lesbionic all this sounds, but in the end it doesn’t make it any less true. Plus it’s not like I’d ever admit any of this to anyone but myself so it’s not like anyone will ever know. Which always seems to make me feel much better about these thoughts ever entering my head in the first place. I feel him slightly nip at my tongue then he lightly sucks on it, effectively bringing me back to the moment at hand. He’s always been able to tell when I’m thinking to much and he’s always had this wonderful ability to find a very highly sensual way to bring me back. This is just one of the many reasons I love him. However at this moment things are moving way to slowly for my taste. I want to feel him, not his clothes. I bring my hands down holding his chin with one while trailing the other down to his tie and removing it before I continue down and expertly undoing each button as I go. I keep going undoing his pants but as I am I can’t help the impulse to touch his bare chest so I bring my hand from his chin and run it up and down his chest. I finish quickly with his pants and pull them apart and bring his underwear down and over his cock, as soon as that’s done I take hold of his cock. “Unh,” he moans into my mouth as I lightly run my hand up and down. He lifts his hips slightly helping me jerk him off and I swear he’s got a perfect dick and I want nothing more than to have him inside of me right at this very moment. I take my hand away from his chest and undo my own pants, but knowing at this point if I want us to go any further I am going to have to get up from this wonderful position. But I also know I’ll be back and in an even better position so I do move away from his lips. “No.” he whines from the loss and trust me I know how he feels but to make him feel better I lean into his ear and whisper. “Don’t you want to be inside me?” I ask licking the side of his ear. “Mmm, yes,” he whimpers and jerks as I give him a particularly nice tug on his cock then I run my palm over the head spreading his precum. “Up.” he commands as he gives my hair a slight yank that sends a shiver down my spine. So I not for the first time when it concerns him do as I’m told. As quickly as possible I take off my tie and then start to undo the buttons on my shirt. I take those off and my pants have already fallen to the floor so I toe my shoes off and look over to Justin and see one of the most gorgeous sites ever. Him spread out on the couch slowly bringing a condom over his dick and giving it a few tugs as he bites his lower lip. When he looks over to me with heavy lidded glazed over eyes I realize that I’ve stopped all movement and it sends me back into action. When I’m done and look over to him again he’s already got his cock lubed and he’s warming up the lube on his fingers for me. I don’t waist anymore time as I get myself situated over him and instantly he has a finger inside of me and I can’t help the moan of pure pleasure that comes out. He barely gives me the time to adjust to each finger before inserting another. Not that I’d have it any other way at this point in time. Almost as soon as he has the third finger in he’s taking them all out. “Sit up,” he says softly as he grabs his dick. While I rise up I can feel his cock slipping under my balls then against my hole. “Ssss,” I hiss in pain as I start to lower myself onto him, but instead of closing my eyes I look down into his which are staring with so much love back at me. It makes everything feel so much better. As soon as the head is safely in he removes his hand and places both of them onto my hips to help guide me. “There you go,” he softly says when I am all the way down on him. “Come here.” he says taking my hands and bringing me down against his chest and taking me into a sweet, soft, slow kiss that literally makes my toes curl, and that’s when I can’t help but move. I feel his hand trail down my back and grab my ass tightly as he starts to move with me. He’s sticking to the rhythm I have set but just as easily moving just the way he wants, and god do I love the way he wants to move. We keep kissing as we move together and I know it won’t be long before he cum’s. However I know I want to be in him just as much as I wanted this. So I’m trying my best to hold off my orgasm but having him constantly move over my prostate the way he is, is making it so fucking hard. “Holy shit,” I hear a woman cry out and so I pull away from our kiss and look to the door to see poor little Emma with her hand over her mouth and her eyes wide standing at the door with files all around her feet. “Don’t stop,” Justin moans grabbing my face and bringing it back to look him in the eyes. He hasn’t even lost stride and so I pay no more attention to poor little Emma as I get back into our rhythm. I do however hear the door close just as Justin arches up off the couch and slams his eyes shut, as he digs his fingers into my hips. Since I know what’s coming I take him into a searing kiss swallowing every single moan he has as I keep up my rhythm to give him the best possible orgasm. I know I have done my job when I hear a more relaxed moan and feel his grip lessen. I stop my movement and pull away from our kiss giving him a couple of pecks on the mouth before I move down to his neck. Starting on his right side then sucking and licking all the way to the other side, before I start to move down his chest. I lick and kiss my way to his left nipple slightly biting down making him arch into me. I can feel his dick starting to harden once more inside me as I bite down on his nipple again and so I let my hand go in-between us and I lift up as I grab the end of the condom. When his dick pops out I take the condom off and place it on the floor. I lower myself back down feeling our dicks slide against each other with no resistance since his cock still has a bit of cum on it and I gotta say I like that. I move onto his other nipple as I grab for my pants and the other condom and lube I know is waiting for us. When I have them securely in my hand I pull away from his nipple, and look back into his eyes, his breathing has calmed down but he is still as turned on. He has a soft smile playing on his lips as he brings up a hand against my face. “Now I want to feel you wrapped around me,” I say with a soft smile of my own. His smile grows wider as he nods his head. I bring my legs down and in-between his as he spreads them wider to give me room. I sit on my knees as I open the condom and then roll it down my cock. I open the lube and don’t waist any time getting him ready for me. When I’m done opening him up I lube up my dick and line it up with his hole. Putting my other hand up by his head as I slowly push my way inside, I don’t stop until I am all the way inside. When I am all the way inside I let out the breath I couldn’t seem to let out before it just felt to damn good to slide back inside of him. I feel his legs slide up around my waist, and his hand wrap around my neck to pull me down onto him as he bucks his hips lightly into mine signaling he’s ready. I start to slowly move in and out of him as I stare into his eyes. I have been waiting for this for so long I really want this to last. KCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKCSPKC Justin’s POV: “Brian,” I moan out not being able to help myself. Damn it he feels so fucking good inside me. Why is it that I never feel whole unless he’s with me. Completely with me. When I can touch him freely and when he can do the same? When did this all happen? Was it the first time I laid eyes on him? Was it our first kiss? Was it that night in the alley when I told him I was with Jonathan? When did I lose myself to him? Fall in love with him? When was it that my life became incomplete with out him in it in every way possible? I just don’t understand it. I never pictured myself in this way. I never even gave any real thought of being in a real relationship with a man I fell in love with. I guess after a while I figured it wouldn’t happen. Or that I would simply not have enough time for it to happen. “Right here,” I hear Brian whisper as he hits my prostate and I can’t help moaning and then locking eyes with him. So perfect. “And there you are.” I give him a shy smile knowing he caught me red handed but he just smiles back at me hitting my prostate again. “Damn it,” I groan. He keeps hitting me right there and I am just becoming a big ball of blubbering mess and right as I am about to cum for the second time I grab him behind the neck and bring his mouth to mine. I feel myself falling over the edge and I know he is going right along with me because he is shaking and letting his full weight lye on me and I have to say that I am loving every second of all of this. “Shit,” Brian says trying to catch his breath as he pulls away from our kiss and lyes his forehead against mine. I bring up my hand brushing away a few strands of hair that are stuck to the side of his face. His hair is so long right now. But I like it. A lot. “That was perfect.” “I have to agree,” I say just as breathless as he is. This really was amazing. He leans back letting his now softening cock slip free and as he takes off the condom I slip to the side a bit so that he can lye beside me on the couch. I’m glad I pick such a large comfy couch. It’s really going to come in handy in more ways than one. When he’s lying beside me finally and we are face to face with his arms tightly wrapped around me just as they should be if you ask me we just stare at each other for a few minutes. “I can’t do it Jus,” Brian says breaking our silence and I’m actually not to sure what he means exactly. So I just furrow my brow and wait for him to continue. “I can’t stay away from you. It’s to hard and it’s just not right.” I nod my head knowing it’s very true. “I’m scared Brian,” and this is also very true. I am more scared than I have ever been in my entire life. All the reasons I said before are still in play and I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to hurt him. Not to mention that all of this is very unchartered territory. For both of us. “Believe it or not so am I,” he says tightening his hold and giving me a peck. “But we belong together and we can figure the rest out as we go.” did he just say we belong together? I do believe he did and I really can’t help the smile that comes over my face as I realize that he feels exactly the way I do about us. “Okay,” I say knowing I can’t turn him away after that. “Okay?” he questions with nothing but hope running in his eyes. “Yes okay, we’ll work it out,” I say and his smile just grows into one that is full of nothing but happiness as he grabs my face and kisses me so hard I think I may have chipped a tooth but I just can’t bring myself to care right now. All I care about right at this very moment is that I have him back in my life the way he should be. When he pulls back his smile is still there and I know mine has to be matching his. I know I feel happier than I have ever been. “I know we have a lot to work out and I promise we will.” he says with a bit of nervousness in his voice. “We have to.” I say showing that I really want this to work. “Yea we have to,” he says leaning in and giving me another peck. “But what do you say we do a little more reacquainting first?” “I think we absolutely have to.” I lean in and kiss and then a horrible thought enters my mind and I jump back. “Fuck Emma!"