I'd like to thank Lucel for BETA'ing this story for me, she really did a wonderful job. Also I want to thank my Sweet Pea for helping me keep on track, if it wasn't for her this story would've gone in the wrong direction.
I couldn not believe that man! God he was so infuriating. I had never met a man that I wanted to hurt so badly… and yet fuck all at the same time. Well, my head was pretty fucked up if you asked me. I made it to the top floor and took my costume out of its bag and started to get ready for the night. “I have been waiting for you.” I kept hearing him say it over and over in my head. Damn it! “No, I wasn’t waiting for a trick.” I shook my head trying to forget his words. Why is he fucking with me? Why won’t he just leave me the fuck alone? I’m so frustrated right now I can’t even believe it. No matter what I do, he just keeps on coming after me. I remembered the last time I was in this kind of situation: let’s just say that it turned out as horribly as I know it will with Brian if I let him in. See, I had just started working at Barry’s club. I think I was only there for about six months when a man started coming in every night I was there. He was a very attractive man; he was 26, about 5'8” tall with gorgeous black hair that came down around his face to just below his ears. He was Italian, with a dark complexion and deep brown eyes. He had a slight accent, since he had only come to the United States about ten years ago. He pursued me like crazy, with flowers and candy and little cards and notes. I kept on turning him down though, since I was a little apprehensive about getting involved with a customer. But he wouldn’t give up. He would wait for me to get off every night I worked there, and we would talk about stupid stuff. Then as time went on, I told him some things about myself such as the situation with my father, and then I told him about Jonathan. He told me a little about his childhood and his work and his parents. He told me that like me, he had not talked to his parents since the day he came out. Now I wondered about how truthful he was being in any of the conversations we had. He probably just lied through it all. But I’m getting off track here. I finally accepted his offer for dinner after he chased me for three months. I really started to like the guy; he was always so sweet to me and gentle. I always felt comfortable talking with him, and he always seemed so honest, as though he really cared about what was going on with me. I was so nervous that night. It was a Friday night, and I had even cancelled work so I could go out with him. I spent three hours trying to pick out the perfect outfit. It was my first date after all. I finally decided on a light blue V-neck sweater, with dark gray slacks. I must say I looked good. When he came to my door his mouth dropped open, and he said, “God you look magnificent.” He was dressed in a tight black sweater, with dark brown slacks. He looked good, too. “Thank you, you’re not half bad yourself,” I replied. He handed me some beautiful yellow roses, and I invited him in so I could put them in water. “Did you paint all these pictures yourself?” he asked as I came back into the living room carrying the roses in a clear vase, “Yeah, well everything except this one,” I said pointing to the one that is a recreation of Van Gough’s A Starry Night. “It’s my favorite,” I told him. “Well, you have good taste. I like it, as well,” he said looking at me before returning his attention to my art. “Your stuff is amazing. Such passion in them,” he said. I know I blushed at the compliment, which I could kick myself in the ass for now. But at the time, it really meant a lot that he liked my stuff. “Thanks,” I said. “Are you ready to go?” I asked him. He looked over to me and smiled slightly. “Sure,” he said, turning around and heading for the door which he opened and waited for me to walk through before closing it behind us, leaving it for me to lock up. He held out his arm for me to take, and I slipped my arm through his. “Shall we?” he asked. I just nodded my head, and we headed out. We went to one of the hottest new restaurants, Papa Milano’s. He said they served excellent Italian food, almost as good as his mama made. The evening was absolutely amazing, and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place for a drink. I said that I would love to. Again, I could kick myself in the ass for it, but at the time I was naive and didn’t realize what was going on. So we went back to his place and had that drink and another and talked for a while, sitting on his couch before he finally made his move. I remembered wanting him so badly. We had yet to kiss or anything else, but the feeling of his lips on mine and his hot but simple touches were amazing. “I want you,” I remembered saying as he pulled away to kiss me down my neck. He stopped then and stood up, taking my hand and yanking me up from the couch and down the hall to his bedroom. He undressed me and then himself, before laying me on his bed and lying on top of me. “I have thought about this since the moment I first saw you,” he said. I smiled, and he took me into another kiss. Finally after a long kiss, he pulled away and started to open me up. “Go slow, it’s been awhile,” I told him, and he nodded with a small smile before continuing. When I was open enough, he slowly pushed into me. His eyes squeezed shut, as I watched him. It hurt, but not too badly, and when he was all the way inside me, he stopped and breathed a bit heavily. “It really has been a while, hasn’t it?” he said, and I just chuckled and nodded my head. “God you are so tight, so perfect,” he said and started to slowly push into me again. It wasn’t long before I lost myself in his touch and his kisses and his cock up my ass. It felt very good, he definitely knew how to fuck a guy. After we came, that was when the lights all started to go off. “Ah, that was great,” he said. “Umm hmm,” I said. “So, do you need me to call you a cab?” he asked while getting up and heading over to the bathroom. I remembered thinking at that moment, what an idiot I had been. Damn it. I knew the game, when he said that, and I knew I had been played. So I played along, even though I was losing a part of my self as I did so. I was losing that part that said love was possible, that happily ever after was possible. “That’s alright, I got it,” I said getting out of his bed and gathering my clothes, putting them back on as I went. I wanted out of there as quickly as possible. As I finished getting my shoes on, he came out of the bathroom, he leaned down, and kissed me on the cheek, and I let him, even though I wanted nothing more than to push him away and scream at him for playing me for a fool. But more than anything, I wanted to get out of there with at least a shred of dignity. “That was really great,” he said, and I just snorted. “Yeah,” I said and got up to leave as I felt him get into the bed. “Hey,” he called as I reached the doorway of his room. I looked back at him. He was all snuggled up in his bed, and I literally wanted to kick his ass. “Could you lock the door on your way out?” he had the audacity to ask me. “Whatever,” I said as I turned and headed straight for the door. I heard a faint “thanks.” But I completely ignored that and made my way out of that god forsaken place. I locked the door right before I slammed it shut. I had to let a little of the frustration out. Suffice it to say I never fell for that game again. I wouldn’t allow myself to be made a fool of by any man again. I knew Brian was trying to play me, and I wouldn’t allow it to happen. And you know something, Deb knew this story as well as everything about my father and Jonathan, so I didn’t know why she would want me to put myself in that position again. Before I could get too far into those thoughts however, I heard the music start, and I knew it was time to make my entrance. I just hoped Brian was not out there. FYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYF Brian’s POV: Well I got a very bad blow job after I went to the backroom to relieve the pressure that Justin created, then I spent the rest of the night dancing with Mikey or one potential trick after another. But I didn’t act on anymore of my urges as I waited for Justin to get off of work. Right before he got off, I went and said my goodbyes, which I knew Mikey wanted to ask me about, but I must say, I was quite proud of him for keeping it to himself. Anyway I headed out to my jeep and pulled it around to the back, parking it right next to Justin’s car. I got out and leaned against the front fender before lighting up a cigarette. About three cigarettes and twenty minutes later, I saw the door open and close as he stepped out into the night air. He noticed me right away, shook his head as he huffed up his garment bag and reached into his pocket for a set of keys. He made his way over to his car... “You know Mr. Kinney...it’s illegal to stalk a person,” he said in an aggrieved tone. I had to chuckle at that, but at the same time I was thinking that I was not far from being a stalker. “I’m not staking you, Sunshine. I’m just persistent,” I said moving to the side of my Jeep so I could stand in front of him. He leaned against his car, as I did. “You know...that’s what they all say. But I can assure you that I know the difference,” he said with total seriousness before pushing away from his car, unlocking the back door, then throwing his garment bag into the back seat. “Have you had a lot of them?” I found myself seriously asking him. He turned around and closed the door. Looking at me, he nodded his head. “I’ve had a couple, and I must say I never enjoy them. I mean, it’s a real pain in the ass and not in a positive life affirming way. There are lawyers, court visits, paper work: it tends to get messy, and I just hate dealing with it all,” he said. I could feel myself lose quite a bit of my fuck ‘em all attitude. Would he really put a restraining order on me? “Try me.” he said with a smirk. I felt myself smile at that. I didn’t even have to say anything. He was so perfect for me, it was unmistakable. “There is no need for all that...” “So, you’re going to leave me alone now, are you?” he asked, and I rolled my tongue into my cheek before I answered. “Why don’t you want me around, Justin?” I asked him putting him on the line for once. “Well 1: I’m not interested...” I laughed at his response before I said, “How about we just stick to the truth here.” “You know nothing about me, Mr. Kinney so I suggest you don’t assume that you do,” he said angrily. “Well, I am trying to get to know you, but you’re not helping me any here,” I responded in a completely serious way so he knew I was telling the truth. “You don’t want to get to know me, you just wanna fuck me. I know your kind, and I know your game, and let me tell you that there is no way in hell I will fall for it. So why waste any more of your time?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Well he did have a point there: I did want to fuck him, but I thought that we could have something a little more than just a one night stand. “Well, I have to say ‘yes’ I want to fuck you...” He snorted and flung his hands up in the air. “But I do think we could maybe have more than just one night, I mean I think you’d be great, so I was thinking we could be more along the lines of fuck buddies… But with no strings attached of course,” I told him. He just looked at me as though I had lost my mind… shit! Maybe I had. “I can not believe you have the gall to say that to me,” he put his hands over his eyes and took a deep breath. “What? It seems like the perfect solution. We both get what we want,” I told him I didn’t understand his reluctance. He removed his hands from his eyes and just stared at me again. I felt myself wanting to squirm under his gaze. “Really. ‘Cause that’s not what I want,” he finally said, and I knew he was lying to me right then. “Oh please! Don’t give me that! I know you want me just as much as I want you, so why deny ourselves?” I asked incredulously. I couldn’t believe this guy. “You, Mr. Kinney, believe whatever you wish, but I am not going to fuck you, so let’s just not do this anymore,” he said gesturing between us. “No, no! I am not going to let you just walk away when I know you want this.” “What the fuck do you mean you’re not going to let me?” he asked furiously, and I thought to myself that I had just seriously fucked myself. “You don’t get a fucking say in anything I do. Do you understand me?” Fuck, he was angry. I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. “I didn’t mean it that way,” I tried to tell him, but it might be too late for that. I might have to walk away and try again later. “I don’t give a fuck how you meant it. Just leave me the fuck alone,” he said yanking his door open and getting inside, not even looking in my direction again as he drove off. “Damn it. You really know how to fuck it all up when it comes to him. Don’t you?” The things that come out of my mouth when I am around him, I’m constantly sticking my foot firmly into my mouth when it comes to him. Well, I guessed I would just have to let him cool down for the next couple of days and try to talk to him again at the family dinner. I got into the Jeep, started it up, and headed home...alone. I was in no mood for a trick. Plus I had better have something good to tell Justin the next time I saw him. If I fucked up again, he might very well take out that restraining order against me. Why couldn’t I seem to get it right with him? FYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYF Justin’s POV: I could not believe that fucker! Thinking that he could tell me what I could and couldn’t do. Like he had any right to. I thought for sure my little tale of restraining orders would get him to leave me alone, but it seemed to just send him into overload. I don’t know what to do with him any more. I mean I have tried everything I could think of. I hadn’t given him any real reason to think I wanted him, yet he seemed to know that I do. Even so, he should do as I ask and leave me alone. Why can’t he just leave me alone? I made it home, and I took myself to the shower. After I was done there, I got into my favorite old pj’s. They are two sizes too big, and they are the most comfortable things I have ever worn: black satin pajamas, nothing better in the world to sleep in. They let you just slide all over the bed. It’s great. After that I went into the kitchen and poured myself a very tall glass of Beam. I don’t want to do anymore homework tonight, plus I’m so far ahead that I wouldn’t know what to do for homework. I just don’t want to think anymore. I want to sleep, shit I need to sleep. Ever since I have met Brian, I have barely slept. I mean it was bad enough before with just my classes and homework and work, but adding him into the mix had just caused everything to worsen about ten fold. I’m exhausted, and I just need a good night’s sleep. So I drank myself into a stupor and passed out on my couch. I didn’t wake up till about 5 in the evening the next day, and that made me a very happy man. I could feel a bit of a headache as I got up so I went straight to the bathroom and grabbed some aspirin, before it could get any worse. Then I jumped in the shower and started to get ready for the next day of going to the ‘gallery’, and getting my costumes for tonight together in their bag. When that was all taken care of, I sat down and had some leftover chicken and rice for dinner. Then it was time to get going. As I was standing around at the gallery waiting for time to move faster so I could leave the exhibition, I saw a man in his sixties well dressed and quite handsome with his hair slightly graying at the sides and strong facial features, looking over my art. I watched him as he took his time with each piece, and I found myself actually wondering what he thought of them. When he was done, he looked over to me and smiled a bit. Walking over to me, he held out his hand... “Mr. Taylor, I presume?” he asked. I nodded my head and took his hand, giving it a firm shake. “And you are?” I asked as I let go of his hand. “Oh, yes, of course. I am Benjamin Shaffer. I think you have real talent Mr. Taylor. How long have you been drawing?” he asked. “Since I was baby, I guess; well that’s always what my mom said anyway,” I answered. “Well, I must say, it shows. You have a wonderful technique, and the use of color in some of the pieces is quite astounding. But the one with the man standing in the distance with a slight smirk is absolutely wonderful. I could see such passion in that piece,” he said looking over to it. Damn it why did he have to pick that one. “Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say,” I told him. I didn’t want to discuss that particular painting or my feelings about it. “Touchy subject, I assume,” he said looking down at me. I looked up. “Oh I have worked with enough artists to know when they have so much feeling in their paintings that they can’t talk about it,” he said, and I just looked away a little confused and nodded my head. “Listen, I think you have some real talent, and I would like to see some more of your stuff, if you wouldn’t mind. Maybe we can set something up: I may be able to get you a couple more shows,” he said, and I just looked at him astonished as he handed me his card. “Give me a call on Monday and have my assistant set something up for us,” he said . “Thank you,” I answered. “No problem,” he threw over his shoulder, as he walked away. I stared down at the card, and realized I might get an agent out of this shit. I felt myself smile, this was turning out to be a good day after all. FYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYF Brian’s POV: The next couple of days I spent pretty much trying to figure out how to approach Justin at the family dinner tonight, and could I just say I was no closer to knowing what to do than I was Friday night. I didn’t go to Forever Young last night. I figured I would just end up trying to talk to him again, and I knew that he needed time to cool down, and I needed time to figure out what to say, so instead I went to Babylon. It was weird being in the old hangout again. It seemed like so long ago since I had been there, but in reality it had only been about six weeks. My, my how my life had changed in six weeks. Anyway, I spent my time trying to ignore all my thoughts about Justin as I fucked a couple of tricks, took a couple of hits of E, and had a bump or two. It made me forget for a couple of hours, and I was grateful for the reprieve. However, by the time I got home, my thoughts were back to him, so I decided to drink until I passed out. It turned out nicely, and I got a good night’s sleep for the first time since I met him. But it was almost time for me to head over to Deb’s house, and I was an absolute nervous wreck. I have changed a total of five times in the last hour, and the only reason I was not changing again is because I refused to do so. I didn’t know why I felt so insecure about my wardrobe. It was ridiculous if you thought about it. But then again, I was finding this whole situation ridiculous. You would think that I have never fucked a guy before I was so nervous. Man, I had to calm down. I walked over to the bar and made myself a glass of Beam and swallowed the whole thing. Jesus, this had to go right. He just had to give me just a little leeway here. I mean I know that I have stuck my foot in my mouth every time we’ve talked, but with him I just can’t help it. I don’t understand why I worry about him, and I don’t even understand why I try to get into his business the way I have, but it just happens. I just have this weird protective... I guess you could say… instinct. God where did all this shit come from? I just wanted him around me... and ... I can’t believe I was about to even think this but... I wanted the little shit to like me. I must be losing my mind to be thinking these kinds of things. Trust me if I could stop feeling these things and thinking this way I would. Hell, it was not as though I haven’t tried; fuck, I’ve tried everything I can think of to stop, but none of it has helped, and I’m even beginning not to want them to help. I mean all these fucking impulses that I get to talk to him, to see him, to protect him... I have tried to stop them, but it was literally impossible. The feeling was just too deep inside to stop. So maybe there’s something that’s saying it’s meant to be. Fuck, did I really just think that? Shit, it’s time to go. Well I guess I don’t have any more of a choice in this: I have to get everything to go just right. I don’t really know why, but the thought of not being able to see him or be around him again is just a little too much to deal with... so, Kinney, you better not fuck this up. FYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYF Justin’s POV: Well, I had finally finished up at the Gallery for the weekend, and my stuff even sold, and I have a pretty good chance of getting an agent out of this. Still, I was so glad that I didn’t have to do it again for another couple of months. What could I say? I hated snobby people, and sometimes, there was just not enough time in my day to keep up appearances. I was too worn out from the last five years: I had been keeping up this pace for too long. Jesus! I was only 21 years old, and I was already complaining about being worn out. How completely pathetic was that? Well I guessed it really didn’t matter. School was almost over with, just-- what?-- eight more months, and then it would be graduation time for me. I’d be able to get a real job. Oh, I can’t wait to start making a name for myself. See, I might be graduating, but I know my hard work isn’t over. I plan on working my ass off to climb the ladder in the advertising industry. I know it isn’t going to be easy, and I know I’m going to be working very hard, but I don’t mind in the least little bit. I’m going to do whatever it takes. When I got out to my car, I saw that it was 4:27, so I jumped into my car and headed over to the wine shop on the way to where Deb lived. I picked out a nice red wine and nice dark blue velvet bag for it as well. Then I jumped back in my car and headed straight for Deb’s house. Ten minutes later I pulled up to a cozy looking house in a nice looking area. I walked up to the door with the wine in hand and knocked a couple times. In no time there was a guy about my height with black hair and brown eyes answering the door. He looked a little surprised to see me, and I wondered if I had the right address, “Can I help you?” he asked. “Um, yeah, is this Debbie Novotny’s house?” I asked. “Yes, it is. Is she expecting you?” he asked. “Of course, I’m expecting him,” Deb said, and I smiled at her while the guy who answered the door just looked at her strangely. “Don’t worry about him, Sunshine. This is just my son. Michael.” “Oh, you’re Michael,” I said, holding out my hand. “I have heard a lot about you,” I said with a smile. Debbie was very proud of her boy. She was always saying Michael had done this or that. He always sounded like a great guy. He shook my hand. But it felt a little awkward. “Yea, your name’s Justin. Right?” he asked letting go of my hand. I nodded my head. Then Deb grabbed me by the arm.... “Well, get your bubble butt in here already. Dinner is almost ready, and I want you to meet everyone else,” she said dragging me into the living room. There were a few people there, and I had seen them around at the diner a few times...then I saw them...Emmett and Vic. My bosses. Oh, shit, I said to myself. Fuck, I can’t believe that they are here. Why me? “Well, here. Take this. I got it for dinner. I hope it will go with what you’re cooking,” I said handing over the bottle of wine. “Oh, Sunshine, you didn’t have to do that,” she said taking the bottle from me. “But thank you for the thought. It should go perfectly with dinner.” I smiled and she kissed my cheek. “Ok, so everyone, this is Justin,” she said, and there was a collective “hello.” “That’s Ted, over there,” she said pointing to a starchy looking man, with a smile, which I returned with a wave as well. “Then, here is Hunter.” “Hey,” Hunter said with a smile, as he straightened himself up in his chair. “Hi,” I said and looked back over to Deb. “And that’s Emmett.” I tried to give him signals not to mention the fact that I was a dancer in his club. Fuck, I don’t want her to know I dance… “Hey, Em,” I said with a smile and a wave. “Hey, sweetie.” “You two know each other?” she asked looking from me to Em. But I answered first. “Yeah, we have met a few times at his club.” I looked back to Em, and he seemed to have gotten the hint. I just hoped Vic got it, too. “Oh, that’s nice. Do you know Vic, my brother?” she asked pointing to Vic in the recliner. “Yeah, we’ve met. How’s it going, Vic?” I asked with a smile. I hadn’t seen him since the night they convinced me to dance at their club. “Good. How are you?” he asked with a smile, and I knew he got it as well. “I’m very good, thanks,” I said, and then she continued. “Well then, this is Ben...” oh he’s hot! I had seen him around the bars before. I wouldn’t mind fucking him. “My son’s boyfriend...” Oh well, I guess I won’t get to fuck him... it’s a shame, really. But I still give him a smile and a wave. “Then there is Melanie, Lindsey, and their son, Gus,” she said pointing to a blonde woman and a brunette. They had a beautiful baby with auburn hair and hazel eyes that remind me of another with the same. But I shooed those thoughts away as fast as they came. I didn’t want to think about him right now. I just want to try to make it through this dinner without Debbie finding out about my dancing. I can’t believe this is happening. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” I said, and then I wondered how many of them knew about my dancing. I could care less what they think of me, but I didn’t want them to accidentally tell Deb. Shit, this sucked. Just then I heard the door open, and I turned to see who else had joined this dinner party from hell... and oh, of course… How could I possibly not have guessed this one...none other than Brian Kinney had arrived. God, I feel a headache coming on...fast. “Alright, I’m here, we can eat,” he said coming in and stopping to give Michael a kiss on the cheek, before he looked at me, with a really sexy smile. Damn he looked good, and I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. However, I did manage to keep a look of indifference. “Hey, Sunshine!” he said to me, and I just gave him a curt smile and turned away. I looked over to Deb, and she gave me a small smile. I knew right then that she had set this up. Fuck, she set me up! I could feel the anger welling up inside of me. Fuck, I hated it when people fuck with my life. “Come on, dinner’s ready,” Deb said moving away from my side and into the kitchen. I see everyone moving into the kitchen, and I just can’t make myself move. How did I manage to get myself into such a mess? I rubbed my forehead for a second trying to get the pressure in my temples to stop pounding. “Daddy!” I heard all of a sudden, and I looked at the little boy… and it just couldn’t be... “Hey, Sonnyboy,” Brian said, and this day just got a hell of a lot worse. He’s a daddy. Brian Kinney is a daddy. I just don’t know what to do with that kind of information. “Come on, Sunshine, let’s eat,” Brian practically whispered in my ear. He’s standing so close I can smell his cologne, and he smells so damn good. Damn it! Damn it all to hell! “You can sit next to me, Justin,” I heard Hunter say, as he came to stand next to me. But before I could answer, I felt Brian put his arm around my waist and steer me towards the kitchen. “I don’t think so,” Brian said. I looked over to say something to reply to his insinuations, but when I see him holding his son, I just lose all ability to speak. The little boy was a spitting image of his father, and Brian just looks so at ease holding his son. I felt my heart quicken at the sight. Then I heard Hunter say, “Fine.” I watched as he stomped his way to the kitchen. When I felt Brian squeeze me a little tighter around the waist, I looked up at him, and I felt myself get a little lost in his eyes. When he smiled this absolutely genuine sweet smile, I couldn’t help but return it. He rubbed his hand over my hip and started to walk us towards the table. When I looked at everyone sitting at the table, I felt myself blush. Oh, for fuck sake! I wanted to kick myself in the ass right now. How is this shit happening? FYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYF Brian’s POV: God, he feels so good against my side. It’s like a perfect fit, and he smells absolutely wonderful. I walk us to the table, and I sit Justin down in a chair, then I move to sit Gus in his high chair. The table’s pretty quiet. They’re all looking at either Justin or me. They all look like they are in shock. Well, everyone but Deb. She just has this huge smile on her face watching everything. I think she might be on my side with this Justin thing. But I also think... fuck, I know, that if I hurt him, she is going to fuck my ass up. I noticed how protective is with him. She treats him like he is one of her own. Which I think is great. Everyone should have a Debbie Novotny in their life. When I have Gus all settled in his high chair, I take my seat next to Justin. It feels good having him by my side. He seems to have cooled down a bit from our last conversation. Which is great. When he first looked at me when I came through the door, I thought for sure this was going to turn out just as horrible as the last conversation we had, but then when he looked at me when I had Gus in my arms... his look changed, softened quite a bit actually. Maybe I might get that little bit of leeway I was hoping for. I wanted to keep my fingers crossed though and hoped I didn’t stick my foot in mouth once again. As we start to pass around the dishes, the conversation starts to pick up, and it’s turned to Justin immediately, of course. I feel kind of sorry for him since he’s a newcomer, and I was acting the way I was around him, he’s going to get bombarded with questions. “So, Justin, what do you do?” I see half of the table falter in their dish passing at Lindsey’s question. “Well, right now I am going to school,” he said passing the bread. “Oh, Sunshine, don’t be so modest,” Deb said. “He is going to Carnegie Mellon for a degree in advertising, and he is also going to PIFA for an art degree,” she gushed. And I must say I’m surprised. I had absolutely no idea. At least now the dancing made a little more sense. Damn, he must make a hell of a lot of money dancing, to support going to two colleges. I wonder if that was even possible. I have to remind myself not to bring up his means of making money. I so do not want another episode like we had during our first and only dance. “Oh hey, I went to a show at PIFA Friday night,” Hunter said. “Really? Why were you at an art show?” Lindsey asked. “We got extra credit if we went. But anyways, there was a painting of you, Brian,” he said with a smile. I knew I look surprised. “Really?” I questioned. Who would paint a picture of me? “Yeah. You were standing in the distance with a smirk on your face, and it was just really hot,” he licks his lips at the end. “I wonder who would’ve painted a picture of me”? “I don’t know, but whoever did it knew what they were doing, and they did a perfect job,” he said taking the dish that Ben was handing him. “Were you in that show, Justin?” Debbie asked. “No, I didn’t have anything in that show,” he said passing me another bowl, “So when do you graduate, Justin?” Emmett asked. “This is my last year,” he said simply, as he started to eat his lasagna. “Wow. I had no idea,” I found myself saying. “Well, you never asked,” Justin retorted, not looking at me. “It’s not like you ever give me a chance to ask,” I say in defense of myself. “Right. Like that’s the problem,” he said, and I want to say something, to defend myself, but when I think about it, he’s almost right, and I don’t want to fight with him. I want this to be a good dinner and for us to get along. I found myself wanting to find out more about this blond, who obviously was so much more than I thought. “Alright, maybe you’re right,” I say and look over to him as he looked up at me with a brow raised, in what looked to be surprise. “So you’re getting a degree in advertising?” I asked and took a bite of my salad. “Yeah.” “Brian’s a partner for Vanguard,” Deb offered. “Really,” Justin said looking over to me. “That’s the best company in Pittsburgh.” “Of course it is; they have me.” I tried to boost myself a little bit more. “Brian is the best in the business,” Mikey said, and I gave him a smile. “Is that so?” Justin said. But I just shrugged my shoulders. “I work hard,” I told him simply. “I’m sure,” he said, and I looked over to see if he is being sarcastic, but the look on his face was sincere. “Oh, hey, Bri, have you figured out who has been leaving ideas...” “Cough! Cough!” All of a sudden, Justin started to choke on his food, and I slapped him on his back a couple of times. “I’m sorry,” he said with a sour look on his face, and I just rub his back as he takes a long drink from his wine. “Are you ok?” I ask him rubbing soothing circles on his back. I feel him shiver a little and take a deep breath and another drink from his wine. “Yeah, I’m fine thanks,” he said and drank the rest of his wine, then grabbed for the bottle to pour another glass. “Are you sure Sunshine?” Deb asked looking very concerned. “Yeah, I’m fine, just went down the wrong pipe that’s all... Really,” he said assuring us all. “No, we haven’t figured it out, no one is coming forward,” I finally answer Mikey’s ill timed question. Why did he have to bring that up in front of Justin? “That is still the weirdest thing I have ever heard,” Ben said. “Yeah, you’re telling me,” I say and hope that, that would be the end of this conversation. I didn’t particularly want to discuss this in front of Justin. What I really want is to find out more about him. “So how old is Gus?” Justin asked... and then the conversation steered towards my son, and then onto the daily grinds we always talk about. It seemed every time someone tried to question Justin about anything he seemed to always have a one sentence answer, then he would turn the conversation back away from himself. It was pretty remarkable to watch but incredibly aggravating at the same time. I wanted to have this opportunity to find out more about him, and I had found out that he was going to school to become an ad exec, and that he was also in one of the top art schools in the country. These were a couple of huge things to find out, I must admit, not to mention that I was incredibly impressed. I mean I remembered how hard college was and the incredible workload I had to get through just to get my degree as an ad exec. And he was doing that as well as going to school to get a degree in the arts. I couldn’t imagine what his schedule must be like. But still I wasn’t finding out anything deeper than that. Shit, I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for until I heard the question. “So Justin, do you have anyone special in your life?” my ears perked up at that, and I looked over to him waiting to hear his answer. “No,” he said with a laugh, and I found myself wanting to know why he found that question so funny. “Okay,” Melanie replied. “Humh?” I found coming out of my mouth. “What?” Justin asked, looking at me with questioning eyes, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask him in front of everyone else. Actually I know I didn’t want to ask him in front of everyone. “Nothing,” I said and tried to get away from the conversation as quickly as possible with a question never heard coming from my mouth. “So what’s for dessert?” I asked looking to Deb for some support. But all I got were some very confused stares coming my way. Fuck, why couldn’t they ever just go along with my ideas? “No, what was the ‘humh...’ for?” he questioned again. “We have a wonderful Black Forrest cake that Vic made,” Deb said finally stepping in to help a guy out. Thank you. “Well?” Justin asked again. Fuck, can’t he just forget I even grunted anything at all? “That sounds good, I’d love a piece,” I say still trying to get away from the relationship question. Why did that have to come out of my mouth? I’m just not equipped to have this conversation. “Brian?” I guess he can’t forget. “Really?” Vic asked. Jesus, I wish everyone would get on the train here. “You know what...forget it. Deb could I use your restroom?” he says. While I send a silent “thank you” to whomever gave me the reprieve. “Sure Sunshine...it’s upstairs, first door on your right.” “Thank you,” he says with a smile and gets up and moves to the stairs. I watch him go until I can’t see him anymore. “What the fuck is going on?” Mikey asks. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask angrily hoping to scare them off of the subject which obviously doesn’t work because Theodore keeps the line open. “Let’s see, you just asked about dessert, and said you wanted a piece...then there was you putting your arm around his waist leading him to the table and sitting him down then sitting down right next to him...” “Oh, let’s not forget the way he reacted when I suggested Justin sit next to me...” Hunter brings up. “And all the questions he’s been asking Justin....” that’s from Melanie. “Not to mention you have been pretty... dare I say, sweet to him....” this from Lyndsey “Alright already. Fuck,” I say throwing my hands up in defeat. I should’ve known they were going to turn on me like this. “Well?” Mikey asks. “Well what? It’s none of anybody’s fucking business, what’s going on between me and Justin. So ...” I hear Justin coming down the stairs, “just stay the fuck out of it,” I say quietly right before he makes the turn to head into the kitchen. “Sunshine, you want a piece of cake?” Debbie asks with a smile trying to bring the conversation back to dinner. God I hoped so. “Um yeah, but just a small piece. Thanks,” he says as he sits down next to me. The rest of the time was spent just keeping to small topics that I wouldn’t get into trouble with, for which I’m thankful. Before I know it though, it’s almost 7:30. “Well, I have to get going, but it was great meeting all of you,” Justin says standing up, and I found myself wanting to find anything to get him to stay a little longer. “Oh Justin, are you sure?” Deb asks getting up as well. “Yeah, I have to get to work,” he says going over to give her a hug. “Ok, well thank you for coming. We should do this more often,” she says after giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Um sure,” he says hesitantly, but leaves it at that. “It was nice to meet you, Justin,” the ladies say. “You, too,” he said. “Jussin!” Gus yells out holding up his hands and squeezing his fist. “Hug,” he requests, and I’m totally surprised. But looking at Justin and seeing that Sunshine smile, I really can’t fault my kid for falling for the blond just as I have. “May I?” he asks the ladies. “Sure,” Melanie said. “Absolutely,” Lindsey replies. I watch him walk over and give my son a hug. As I watch them, I can’t help this warm feeling that comes over me, and I’m completely confused by it. When he pulls back, I make a split second decision. “Well, I should get going too,” I say standing up and moving over to give my son a hug and a kiss. “Really?” Emmett says, and I wonder if they are ever going to give me a break on this subject. Probably not. “Yeah,” I simply reply. I don’t need to explain myself to anyone. I never have. “Ok. Well, you two, drive careful,” Deb says with a smile, and I walk over to give her a kiss.... “Thanks,” I whisper into her ear. “You’re welcome...don’t fuck it up,” she whispers back before letting me go. I just smil at her letting her know I got it, as she slapped me nicely on the cheek. “Thank you again, Deb; dinner was great, and so was the cake, Vic,” Justin says going to stand at the kitchen entrance, I take my leave right there though and wait for him outside. FYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYFYF Justin’s POV: As I’m walking to the front door, I’m getting more and more nervous. I know he’s waiting for me outside. Man, I can’t believe how many times I almost got caught on so many things tonight. First there was Deb almost finding out about my dancing. Then there was Hunter seeing the painting of Brian at PIFA. That, I was definitely not expecting. But now that I thought about it, he looked an awful lot like the guy I saw looking at my painting Friday night. Man, at least he didn’t notice the signature at the bottom, and thank god the show was over, and all the paintings have been shipped out to their buyers. I doubt he would’ve gone looking for it, but if Hunter had mentioned the signature, there was no doubt in my mind that he would’ve gone looking for it. I would’ve been fucked and not in a good way. Oh, and when Michael brought up the whole who ‘left the ideas’ thing, I thought I was going to choke to death. He and his mother must have a major flaw with timing. Right then I just wanted to get drunk and forget this night ever happened. That still sounds like a fabulous idea, but first I have to get through Brian, who is waiting right outside this door, and go to work. When I open the door and step through, I see him standing right in front of me facing towards the street smoking a cigarette. I could definitely go for one of those, too. So I pull out my pack, and light myself one, and start to make my way past him. “So I take it Deb doesn’t know you dance for a living,” he says, and I stop dead in my tracks. Why was he bringing this up? “No, she doesn’t, and I’d like to keep it that way,” I tell him. “What does she think you do then?” “I’ve been working as a janitor for almost six years. As far as she knows, that’s all I do,” I say, letting a small piece of myself out to him. “You’re a janitor?” he says with a smirk, and I wonder what he’s playing at here. “Yeah,” I say and turn to walk away... “Hold up, Sunshine,” he says coming up behind me. “What? What do you want?” I say exasperated. I have had just about enough for tonight. “Hey, calm down. I just want to talk to you a little more,” he says, and I look into his eyes. He looks sincere enough, but I know better than to fall for that. “Look, I’ve had enough of share time for one evening...” “You hardly shared anything, you kept on turning the conversation over every time it came close to you.” Jesus, what does he want from me. “Well, what can I say? I’m not exactly the sharing type of person,” I say with a smirk. “I could see that. Not that I blame you really. I’m not exactly the sharing type either.” “No kidding,” I say sarcastically. I don’t really care either way right about now. All I want is for Brian to leave me alone. “So are we done talking now? ‘Cause I really have to be getting to work.” I turn to walk away yet again, and yet again he follows right on my heels. “Well, maybe we could have that dance after you’re done working,” he says, and I don’t even falter in my steps when I replied. “I don’t think so.” “Oh, come on already...it’s just one dance!” he says sounding a bit annoyed, as I make it to my car door and unlocked it. However when I try to open it, he holds it closed. “Come on, just one dance. I promise not to ask any stupid questions,” he says, and I can’t help the way his voice makes me feel inside when he asks. And when I look up at him, and I see his puppy dog eyes that I’m sure he has perfected over the years because they’re absolutely perfect and make me turn to jello inside. Damn it. “Fine,” I say as I yank my door open and get in. Oh, I needed a swift kick in the ass for that reply. I can’t believe that I just said I would dance with him. What am I thinking? “You know I don’t...” I try to back peddle... “No, no, no! You said one dance. I’ll wait for you by the bar,” he says giving me a quick kiss on the mouth and closes the door just as quickly. God his lips are so soft! I have dreamt about those lips touching mine. God, if it were possible, it felt a hundred times better. I can’t dance with him. There’s no way I can hold out if I do. I’m so fucked. This is like a mantra in my head all the way to the club and through two of my dances until I try to convince myself that one dance won’t hurt anything, that I can make it through just one dance. But by the time my last dance is over, and I’m putting all of my costumes back into their bag, I stop trying to fool myself and realized that I’m just going to have to go straight to my car; fuck what I said. This is self preservation here, and I won’t last a dance with him pushed up against me. Just the memory of the last time is too much when it is mixed with the feel of his lips on mine. Shit I can still feel it. It’s like it’s branded onto me. So I quickly grab my stuff and head down the employee staircase and out the back door. I pretty much run to my car and jump in throwing my things over my shoulder, while I start up my car and peel out of the parking lot. I don’t know… I just have this feeling that he was going to know somehow that I would chicken out and be waiting for me. I know it’s ridiculous, but he seems to have this sixth sense when it comes to what I wanted. Well, at least he seems to know the part about me wanting him anyway. I’m so fucked.