In this chapter there is no skipping through time. I hope you all like it.
As I feel myself waking up I can smell something that I know I shouldn’t be smelling... That smell being chicken noodle soup. The question is, why do I smell chicken noodle soup? Suddenly it all comes back to me... Justin’s here. Now don’t get me wrong after the last conversation we had I am more than happy to see that he still cares enough about me to want to be here with me through this. But, that doesn’t change the fact that he shouldn’t be here. He should be out living the life he’s made for himself...without me. He shouldn’t be stuck here helping me, when it’s probably just because he feels guilty or whatever. I sit up in the bed slowly, as to not make myself feel any sicker than I already do. God I am so sick of this shit, I wish it was over already. “No, Jake will be fine to take over that meeting. He’s worked on the account with me more than anyone.” I hear Justin say, and I wonder what exactly he has to delegate to be here with me, not to mention his classes. Shit this is worse than I thought. Fuck! I have to get him out of here and back to his life. I stand up and listen to him as I make my way to the stairs towards the kitchen. “Tawny I need you to get those boards over to Mr. Baxter, so he can approve them. Also make sure Baily gets the graphics for Ebnars new website. He has taken way too long on the account already and if I have to deal with Ebnar one more time I swear I am going blow something up.” I go over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I see Justin over at my computer desk with folders spread out over the top. I watch him type into my computer and I wonder what the hell he is doing at my computer. “Justin,” I say to get his attention. He swings his head around and I see his frustration and concentration melt away when he looks at me. Shit I’ve missed that look. He puts his hand over the receiver and smiles at me. “Give me two more minutes and we’ll eat, ok?” I just wave my hand at him and go to look at what he’s done with Debs soup. “I also got another e-mail from that new chain of clubs, Chaser’s.” My head automatically whips around at the mention of one of the newest and hottest clubs around. “I have done some research on them, but I am going to need you to get the rest, through that special way you have.” He says with a laugh. Fuck that is an amazing company to land. The owners not only own that chain, but also a hotel in Las Vegas, New York, and LA. Not to mention a lot of holdings in stocks of very high end companies. “Yeah, get the last of the info and e-mail it to me, then I will make my decision.” I watch him smile as he clicks a couple more times on the computer. “Well if I do decide to take them on I will be doing their account myself. One more thing then I will let you go. I am going to need you to go to the apartment and pack me up a few things, I have e-mailed you the list... Thank you Tawny, you’re a life saver. Bye.” He says hanging up the phone, and closing up the files I assume he was using before getting up and making his way towards me. “Sorry about that. I don’t have my laptop with me so I had to use your computer. I hope you don’t mind,” he says walking past me and stirring the chicken soup before filling up a bowl. “Actually I do mind, and I’m not fucking hungry so don’t bother with making me a bowl.” I practically sneer, hoping he will get the point that I am willing to make his life a living hell if he stays here. I sit down at my computer desk and start looking into my e-mail accounts, there really isn’t anything here that needs my attention at this point in time, but I am still sitting here and pretending that there is. “Well my stuff should be here by tomorrow afternoon so I won’t have to use your computer again through the duration of this visit.” He says almost cutely, but I don’t bother paying him any attention. Instead I start to fill out some information on an account I am working on. Might as well, I have nothing better to do, and I need something to keep my mind off of the fact that Justin is in my loft taking time out of his life to help me. Jesus how did this happen? Oh right, Theodore. He is going to pay for this. “Here,” he says sitting a steaming bowl in front of me. It doesn’t smell half bad actually and I think I might actually be able to keep something like this down, but I still look at him as if he’s lost his mind. “I said I’m not fucking hungry or did you lose your hearing along with your mind?” “I don’t really care if you’re hungry or not. You need to keep up your strength and the only way to do that is to eat, and get a lot of rest. So eat, and then you can get back into bed.” He practically orders, but in such a soft sensitive way, and before I have a chance to remark he is walking away. He makes himself a bowl and I watch him take it to the dining table. He sits with his back towards me, and I don’t know why but it makes me feel a bit weird that he isn’t watching me; he always used to watch me. This is stupid and fucked up at the same time. I mean shit, I’m supposed to be getting him to leave not wondering why he isn’t fawning over me more than he already is. So I shake the crazy thoughts from my mind and ignore the soup that was set in front of me pushing it to the side so I can get back to my life and business. A couple of hours later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I sit back in my chair stretching my muscles to get them working again after sitting in the same spot for so long. I look over towards Justin sitting on my sofa and watch him set his book down and walk towards me, he doesn’t look at me or acknowledge me as he picks up the bowl of soup takes it to the microwave pops it in and presses what I assume to be a time into it. I can hear it going and I risk a glance in his direction. I see him standing with his back to the counter one foot against the back of the cabinets and eyes closed. I wonder if he’s pissed off at me yet? I bet he is. This is going to be a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. ‘Ding!’ I close up my files and move over to the bed crawling under the covers and getting as comfortable as possible. Which isn’t easy might I add. “Sit up.” I hear Justin say and I look over to him. “I was serious when I said that I wasn’t hungry Justin, and you being here again trying to force feed me isn’t going to change that.” I roll over so I am facing away from him. “Look Brian we can fight about this all night if you’d like, but I am pretty certain that you are exhausted and want to get some sleep and I know that I have all the energy in the world to stand here and bug you until you eat at least some if not all of this soup. So again it’s up to you how you want to go about this.” I roll over to face him once more with a biting remark on the tip of my tongue, but when I look at him I see him standing there with a cute smile on his face and it makes my heart speed up just a bit. Fuck, how does he do these things to me sometimes? Little fucker. “I’m just not hungry. Now will you leave me alone?” I can hear the slight beg at the end of my plea but I ignore it, just as I hope he will. “Bri,” he says quietly as he sits next to me on the side of the bed, setting the soup on the side table. “When was the last time you ate?” “Who cares?” “I do, now when was the last time you ate?” He asks so sweetly that I find my resolve slipping... just a bit. “I really don’t remember,” I say with a sigh. He’s not going to let this go. “Ok then just eat some of this, then I promise I will leave you alone for the rest of the night.” I look at him trying to gage whether or not he really will leave me alone for the rest of the night, which right now is all that I want. “Come on just a little bit.” “Fine but then you are going to go away and leave me alone.” “Yes I will leave you alone, but I am not going away.” He says walking into the restroom. I reach over bringing the soup over to me and I take a little bite. ‘Damn that’s really good,’ but then again he was always a great cook, and he could always figure out how to make the recipes so it wasn’t so unhealthy that I wouldn’t eat it. “So I was wondering when you take all these different pills?” Justin says coming out of the bathroom with a variety of medicine bottles. “I thought you said you’d leave me alone if I ate?” I question. “No, what I said was I would leave you alone ‘after’ you ate.” He says with a cocky smile. “You’re a shit, you know that?” “Yeah, but that’s alright. Now eat, and tell me when you need to take your pills.” “I can remember when to take my own pills thank you very much.” I say taking another bite of the soup. “Mmmk,” he says turning to go back towards the bathroom. “Um Justin,” I stop him. “Hmm?” He says turning towards me. “Could you give me that tall bottle?” I ask remembering that I have to take them now. Shit. “Yeah,” he hands me the bottle and turns towards the kitchen. “I’ll get you a bottle of water.” KCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKC Justin’s POV: After he finishes most of his soup, and takes his pills I watch from the kitchen as he curls up into the blankets and goes to sleep. God, he is so frustrating and infuriating. But all at the same time I have missed everything about him so much. I’m glad I’m here with him, to help him and just be here for him through this. I couldn’t imagine being in New Hampshire while he went through this by himself. Now if he would’ve chosen to still throw me out, and I really thought he was going to, I would’ve gone back and let the family take care of him, but I am so glad he didn’t. Now I just have to keep my patience with him, and roll with what I know he’ll be throwing at me. Which means being at least two steps ahead of him. This ought to be interesting to say the least. I finish up in the kitchen, and go into the bedroom to get the extra blankets and sheets. As I pass the bed I notice that Brian has uncovered himself some, so I lean down and bring the blankets back up to his shoulders tucking them in just the way I know he likes it but doesn’t say. When I go to pull away I feel his hand come around mine holding it against his neck and chest. “Jus,” I hear him whisper and I’m not to sure that he is saying my name or just grunting in his sleep but in the off chance he is saying my name I sit on the side of the bed and let him hold onto me. During the night he doesn’t let go of me, in fact he comes closer to me wrapping his other arm around my waist and kinda curling himself around me. I only let him go right before the alarm went off. I never did get the blankets or sheets, and I never did go to sleep. Which isn’t all that different from any other night, if I think about it. But I don’t want to think about it so instead I went and made some coffee and some toast for Brian before he went into the office which I knew he was going to do, whether he should or not. “You’re still here?” He says disappointedly, which I just smile at. “Yep, but then again you knew before you came out here that I was going to be here so why ask the obvious?” “Hmm, do you think we could skip the banter this morning? I just want to continue on with my life as if you weren’t here. Do you think we could do that?” Well he seems to be serious about this, and I must admit that it hurts like hell to hear him say that, but I refuse to show him that he can hurt me anymore. “Sure, I don’t see why not.” I say simply and go about looking for something to eat for myself. I got a lot to do today and I’m not going to have time to sleep so I think I am going to need the energy. I pull out the stuff I’ll need to make an omelet, and go about making it, ignoring him as he does his morning routine in the process. I figure that’s the best all around. At least I know that I’ll be around if he does need me, and he’ll know that I’m here if he needs me, and that’s why I came in the end anyways. So I think that’s what I’ll do I’ll just be here in the background... just in case he needs me. About an hour after he leaves for work I get myself into the shower and get ready to go run the errands I need to do this morning. Before I leave I grab the key and piece of paper he left me for the new security code. It’s not all that much to do first I run to the art store to pick up some sketch pads and pencils and what nots to keep me up on my drawing, and art assignments. Then I go to the store to order some more groceries, that will be delivered later this afternoon. I then stop at this little computer shop so I can pick up the necessary supplies so that I can do my assignments for Dartmouth here instead. Right as I am opening the door to the loft my phone starts to ring. “Yeah?” “Hey Jus, you up for wonderful night of celebration?” Trent asks and for a second I am a little behind on what we would be celebrating until I remember. “You got the internship?” “I got the fucking internship!” He yells. “I told you, you would.” I tell him sincerely. “I know you did, I just really thought I had seriously fucked up the interview.” He says. “You always do that.” “Do what?” “Doubt yourself, and your capabilities.” I tell him exasperated. “My God I have told you, I don’t know how many times, just how talented and intelligent you are and yet you still don’t believe me.” “I know, but who cares about that right now? I got the internship!” I laugh at him. “Well I’m glad you got the internship.” “So where do you want to go out tonight?” Oh shit. “I can’t go out with you tonight,” I say regretfully. “Why not? You know you have to celebrate with me, if it wasn’t for you I would never even be thinking about an internship.” “That’s not true. You would’ve figured it out some way.” I tell him, trying to make him see for the thousandth time that he would’ve made it. “No, no you still don’t seem to understand that I was just fine not looking going to college, but then you came and told me that I should be trying to better myself and if I figured out what I wanted to do with my life you’d pay for my education. Now who else would’ve done that for some kid that worked at Starbucks? Hunh can you tell me that?” He asks sarcastically. KCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKC Brian’s POV: I came home early, because to tell you the truth I felt like shit, and Theodore was out schmoozing with some clients today so I couldn’t yell at him anyways, and I wanted to see Justin. I thought maybe we could discuss a more civil way to get through this whole time in our lives. But when I got here he wasn’t here, suddenly that hole in the pit of my stomach was back and the loft felt so incredibly empty. I was actually scared that he had left...for good. That I would have to go through this without him by my side. Which I know is stupid since I have been trying to get rid of him, but of course the truth is that I like having him here. I’ve missed him since he’s been gone. More than I ever thought possible, and now that he’s back I was just thinking I could semi enjoy it while he’s here. Because I know it won’t be long before he’s gone again and I can never be to sure when he leaves if that will be the last time or not. Suddenly I hear someone opening the loft door and my heart actually fucking jumped at the thought that I was wrong and he was still here. But before I could go and see if it really was him I heard him speak, I thought it was kinda funny that he answers the phone just like I do most of the time, and I actually feel myself smile for the first time in a long time. But it doesn’t last long as I listen to the one sided conversation. “I can’t go out with you tonight,” he says regretfully and I wonder who exactly he is talking to? Because from this side it sounds like a boyfriend. “That’s not true. You would’ve figured it out some way.” What the fuck is he talking about? I hate only hearing half of a conversation. “First of all I never looked at you as just someone who worked at Starbucks, as a matter of fact the first thought I had about you was that you looked incredibly very fuckable.” Oh God, this is definitely a boyfriend. Shit, I wish I was at work so I wouldn’t have to listen to this. I mean shit why the fuck is he here if he has a boyfriend. I watch him through the partitions and see him setting down a few bags. What the fuck is he doing, moving in? “Fine, but I still can’t come out with you tonight, now it’s not because I don’t want to, I’m just out of town for a while.” He says quietly, and damn it I wish I knew what was happening on the other side of that phone. “There are just a few things I have to take care of.” Motherfucker doesn’t have to take care of anything and what am I some dirty little secret? Fuck that. “Justin!” KCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKC Justin’s POV: “Justin!” I hear Brian practically yell from behind me and I whirl around to see him standing at the top of the steps to the bedroom, looking extremely angry. “You’re home?” I say surprised. “Yeah, well it is my loft after all.” He says menacingly and I can’t help but almost wince at his words, he seems so mad. “Justin, who is that? Are you ok?” I hear Trent saying on the other end of the phone and I had pretty much forgotten that he was there. “Yeah, I’m fine. Listen...” “No you listen to me,” Brian says bringing my attention back to him. “You need to leave.” He says, yet again. ‘Knock, knock.” I hear someone knocking at the loft door, so I turn my attention from Brian again and open up the loft door and sitting there is a box and a very attractive messenger man. Good God he is really good looking, I’m telling you it has been way to long since I fucked someone. As a matter of fact it’s been almost a week, fuck how did this happen? “Justin Taylor?” The good looking messenger asks with a slight smile that shows off his dimple in his right cheek. “Justin! What’s going on? Who’s that?” Trent sounds a bit worried now. “I’m fine, it’s just the messenger.” I say calmly trying to calm him down. “Don’t even think about bringing that shit in here.” Brian says coming up behind me. I look over my shoulder at him and roll my eyes as I watch him looking the messenger up and down now. “Brian,” I say calmly trying to get him to stop before he really gets started. “Brian? Brian Kinney?” I hear Trent practically screech over the phone, which I have to hold away from my ear while he does so. “Doesn’t sound like the boyfriends to happy about you being here with me,” Brian says and my head literally almost comes off turning to look at him. “Boyfriend?” Trent screeches into my ear. “What the fuck is going on over there?” “I would certainly like to know,” I say confused as all hell. “The box can stay there, but you can go right up there.” Brian says to the messenger guy. “Well I don’t usually go for threesomes, but if I get to do the blonde...” Hmmm, now that doesn’t happen often. “What?” Brian asks looking completely floored. “Your having a threesome with the messenger, and Brian?” Trent asks surprised. “No, God no.” I say to Trent grabbing the clip board and quickly signing it before I sign I hand it back over. “There will be no threesomes.” I say towards the messenger, and intending for Trent to hear as well. “But I thought,” the messenger starts, but I cut him off. “See now there’s the problem,” I say very carefully. Because truthfully although he is very attractive he doesn’t look very smart. “You tried using your brain and failed... miserably.” “Hey,” the messenger says. “Good one Jus.” I hear Trent say. “Thanks,” I tell Trent. “For what?” the messenger says. “Not you, now please put the box over there.” I tell him motioning towards the living room. “Then get the fuck out,” Brian says only this time it is to the messenger. I watch as he puts the box down and not to carefully might I add, and walks out the door. As I close it up I watch Brian walk into the bedroom until I can’t see him anymore. “Justin? Are you still there?” Trent asks. “Yeah, listen Trent let me call you back,” I say. “Alright but you better call me back soon. There is no way I can stand the suspence this whole situation has brought on.” “I’m sure you’ll survive,” “I’m serious Justin,” “I know you are, now bye.” “Bye.” I hang up the phone and make my way up the steps into the bedroom. I don’t see him in bed but then I hear the toilet flush. “You hungry?” I ask him as he walks out of the bathroom. “Don’t you think you should be getting back to your boyfriend instead of worrying about me?” He says walking to the kitchen not even looking at me. “I am here, and I am not leaving no matter what it is you think you know about me, which might I add isn’t jack shit.” I say moving towards my box. “So then if I am so mean and so ignorant about everything concerning you why are you here?” “What will make you stop and just accept that I’m here?” I ask him seriously while I open my box. I refuse to let him see how much he affects me. “Now I thought you knew me better than that. I never except anything at face value.” “You know Bri, maybe that’s your problem?” “The only problem I have is that you are here, I thought you got the point along time ago that I don’t want you here!” There’s that ping again. “And still you don’t get the point,” I say calmly looking towards him. “And what point is that?” “The point is regardless if you want me here or not, I want to be here. Even if it’s just in the background, I don’t give a fuck. I just want to make sure you’re ok, and I can’t do that if I’m anywhere else but here. So you see it’s just me being selfish... as usual.” I can hear the waver in my voice but I am trying to keep myself calm. It’s just really hard, so I turn away from him. I pull out my laptop and move to the couch. As I am flipping it open. “I’m going out,” he says storming out the door and slamming it behind him. “Fuck.” This isn’t good for him. He should be relaxing not fighting with me constantly. If this keeps up I am going to have to leave just so he stops stressing over it. Why does he have to be so fucking stubborn? Why can’t he just let me be here for him? Shit I’m tired. I don’t remember the last time I really slept. I know that I have been running around a lot lately and it has been keeping me awake, but now I am feeling more than a little wiped out. But I really need to check my e-mail and hopefully Tawny has that research that I asked her for and I really need to get a couple of things settled on two accounts. Not to mention I have a paper to write for school that has to be done and sent in by tomorrow. Fuck how did my life get so crazy? I shake that thought off and get to work. I really want to get this finished so maybe I can get a couple of hours of sleep in. However if I know myself it’s probably to much to ask for. “Damn it, I need to work!” So I focus myself as always and get to it. KCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKCKC Brian’s POV: “Fucking little shit.” Oh I can’t believe him. Why can’t he just go home to his little boyfriend? Trent. What the fuck kind of name is that anyways? I head over to the diner, it’s about lunch time and Mikey has been gripping at me about how much time we don’t spend together so maybe if I spend luch with him he’ll get off my back. When I finally get there I park the Jeep and make my way inside where I see Mikey and the guys including Theodore sitting at our regular table. I walk over and before I can say anything Mikey starts in, “Brian! Where have you been,” I lean down and kiss him on the lips trying to get his mind off of the line of questioning he’s on. “I haven’t seen you in forever.” I should’ve known better. “It’s only been two days Mikey,” I say with a sigh. “Still, you haven’t been returning my phone calls, and you haven’t been to Woody’s or Babylon in like a week.” “Yes I know what my schedule has been like you don’t need to remind me,” I say then turn my attention towards Trader. “Theodore, could I speak to you, in private for a moment?” Now mind you I am just barely holding my temper in. “Well you know Brian I was just about to get back to the office.” He says worming his way out of the booth and past me. “I’ll see you guys later at Woody’s.” Then he is out the door. “I’ll be right back,” I say calmly as I walk out the door using my long legs to gain the ground he has on me. “You had no right Theodore,” I say through clenched teeth as I slam his door shut. “To go to Justin of all people and tell him this.” “I know Bri, and I’m sorry.” “Sorry’s bullshit.” “Look I knew you’d never ask for help, and the way you looked I knew you needed help.” “That wasn’t your fucking call to make, I told you because I unwittingly thought I could trust you to help me with the business end and still keep it a secret.” “Look I can help you as much as you need on the business end, but you still needed someone to help you at home...” “I can take care of myself!” Oh that came out a bit louder than I wanted. “Well you shouldn’t have to,” I look to him and I see the sincerity in his eyes. “And the reason I called Justin was because I know how much you both love each other.” “I don’t...” “Please let’s not go through that line of crap right now, I really do have work that I need to get done.” I can’t believe this little shit. “Now go home and let him take care of you, because I can tell you right now there isn’t any other place in the world he’d rather be right now and there isn’t anything in the world he wouldn’t do for you.” Is what he saying true? Am I just to blind to see it? But before I can voice anything else Theodore is driving away. Little fucker, I didn’t even get to really yell at him. I walk back into the diner and order myself some coffee. I’m not really good at keeping it down though right now so I just kinda play with it as I let Mikey drone on about whatever it is that he drones on about. My mind just can’t keep up with it today. It keeps on going back to what Justin said this afternoon along with what Theodore said and then there is also the little nagging of the what the messenger said as well. “Well I don’t usually go for threesomes, but if I get to do the blonde...” Which I know is the last thing I should be obsessing about but well I’m Brian Kinney for fuck’s sake. What else did you expect? But mostly it’s what Theodore and Justin said to me. I know what I wanted this afternoon when I came home early was to just except that Justin is here and enjoy him as long as he’s here, but I just don’t think I can do that knowing he has a boyfriend. Just the simple thought of this Trent guy makes my blood boil. So to tell you the truth I don’t think I can have him here. I guess I could just say fuck you to the boyfriend. I mean shit Justin was mine first. Not to mention the fact that he did chose to be here with me instead of being with his little lover boy. Plus when have I ever cared about anyone being in a relationship? They are all a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. Destined to fail. “So you wanna go to Babylon with us tonight?” Mikey asks me, and I am tempted to say yes but I know that I won’t be able to make it all night the way they would expect me to and that would just bring unwanted questions. “I can’t.” “Jesus Bri you never come out with us anymore.” “What are you talking about? I’m out with you right now.” I say with a smirk. “You know what I mean,” “Well what can I say Mikey, I have a ton of work right now and since I’m the owner well I have to make sure everything is perfect.” “Yeah, yeah whatever.” My God sometimes I just can’t stand him playing the petulant child. “Don’t be like that Mikey. As soon as things calm down I will be back to my old devilish ways. I promise.” And I mean it, as soon as I’m done with all of this cancer, and radiation I am going to back better than ever. “Well let’s hope so honey,” Emmett cuts in as he gets up to leave. “Cause if you stay away for much longer you may just lose your title as king stud of Liberty Ave.” “See what I’m saying Brian? It’s not only me who is noticing.” He gives me a slight shove to get me out of the booth, so I do and he gets up to leave as well. “Call me?” He asks hopefully. “Yeah, I’ll call you.” “Sooner rather than later I hope,” he says giving me a peck on the mouth and then he turns and leaves. My God why do they think that everything revolves around me being the stud of Liberty Avenue? ‘Maybe because you have always led them to believe that, that’s the only thing that ever mattered to you.’ and this is my brain talking. My God I think I may be losing my mind. No I’m just tired, that’s all. I should go home and get some sleep. Maybe I’ll get lucky and Justin won’t be there, and I won’t have to deal with him. I reluctantly pull back the loft door and right away I see Justin sitting on the couch typing on his laptop. His box is still here and he now has files and sketch pads sitting all over the couch and coffee table. Jesus he just makes himself right at home with all of his mess. I swear the boy never changes. “I hope you plan on picking up that mess,” I comment while I close the door. “Of course,” he answers simply. “Good because I don’t want to have to step around your mess the whole time you’re here.” I swear I just can’t keep my mouth shut. “Don’t worry I will try to do my work while your at work, and if I do end up having to do it while you’re here I will do it as quickly as possible.” I just lock up and set the alarm. I try my best not to say anything else that will be completely insensitive. I swear I may bite off my tongue. “What about the boyfriend?” I ask walking over to stand at the side of the couch. “He’s not going to be throwing a hissy fit because you’re out here in the Pitt’s... with me?” He looks over to me and I swear he looks so confused. “Why is it that you think I have a boyfriend Brian?” he asks me. “Well you having that cutesy conversation with what’s his name, for one.” “Ok so you over hear half of a conversation that I am having with ‘Trent’ and then you assume that I have a boyfriend. Does that sound about right?” “Well yeah,” I wonder if maybe I was wrong. “Do you see all of this Brian?” He asks motioning towards the mess he has made. “Of course,” “This is my life lately, and not that you deserve an explaination of my life, and not that I understand why you are questioning what my social life is like since you have made it perfectly clear that you don’t care about that particular part of my life, but Trent is not my boyfriend, he is just my friend. My best friend as a matter of fact these days. And for further reference I have never had a boyfriend, and probably will never have a boyfriend.” I guess I was wrong. Shit. “Now can I get back to my work?” He asks but doesn’t wait for me to answer as he just turns around and continues to work as if nothing has ever happened. Fuck maybe he has changed, more than I was hoping for. I decide to leave this conversation alone. I move up to the bathroom to jump in the shower. I need a little alone time but having him here, the shower seems to be the only place left for solitude. I jump into the shower and Justin’s words hit me like a ton of bricks. “And for further reference I have never had a boyfriend, and probably will never have a boyfriend” I have no idea why it’s hurting so much that he didn’t consider us boyfriends? I mean fuck the simple thought of ‘boyfriends’ sends a very unwelcome shiver through my body. But still that’s just me, and even though I would never use that word it doesn’t mean that we weren’t exactly that in any other persons eyes. And I guess that I just thought that Justin would see it the same way. I guess I was wrong in that I thought I knew what he thought and felt about us being together. Damn it I thought I knew him so well. How could I have been so wrong? Maybe what we had didn’t mean as much to him as I thought it did.