MAY 25 2051 “Debra.” “Yes Tay.” “I started packing up Granddaddy’s belongings and I found a diary. I never knew that he kept a diary and it surprises me since he always preached living in the present since there was nothing we could do about the past and that the future would bring whatever it was going to bring.” “Tay your grandfather was a complicated man. I’m sure that he would want you to read the diary or he wouldn’t have left it where you could find it. He knew that his time was short but he had time to make all of the arrangements that he needed to make. Why else did he leave word that he wanted to be wearing his Tux and that silk scarf, your Dad gave him, when he was cremated just like your Papa was cremated wearing his Tux and silk scarf. I’m glad I got to know him and I wish that I had known your Dad and Papa but that wasn’t meant to be. So read what he left for you to read. Tay I’m sure that Brian, wherever he's now, is thrilled that you mixed his ashes with those of Justin. I didn’t meet Brian until Justin had been gone over 6 years but it was very obvious that he still loved him with all of his heart. So now, thanks to you, the two will be together for all of eternity. I’m glad that he got to know the boys and even though they're too young to remember him on their own we'll have to keep his memory alive for them. Read his diary so that you'll be able keep his memory alive for yourself. September 8 2041 Justin I can’t believe that it's been a year since the horrible day that I lost you and Sonnyboy. I find it hard to believe that I’ve managed to live without you and Sonnyboy in my life. But you were right; I have to be here for Taylor. I probably wouldn’t have made it through the last year without that boy. Why were we blessed with such wonderful children? Gus was always so mature for his age and his little boy is just as mature if not more so. Actually Taylor isn’t a little boy, he is 15, almost 16, now and believe it or not he is taller than I am. Unlike Gus with his love for football; Taylor's going to be a basketball player, another sport I have to learn to like. He quit the football team last year when, well you know. I made him try out for the basketball team when that season started; after all we had to get on with our lives, even if for a while none of us really wanted to. He started for the Freshman team last year and will probably make the varsity squad this year. As you know I had a hard time dealing with my loss but the entire family was here for Taylor and me. I don’t think that we spent an evening alone for the first month and very few nights. Someone was here for supper or to spend the night, I suppose that Melanie and Lindsay were the schedulers since it was too organized to have been just by chance. Mikey moved in on the 1st of October and after that we had fewer guests but it didn’t die down to normal levels until March. I guess the munchers, which I never ever say in front of Taylor since I don’t want to have to write something 500 times again, decided that I'd gotten my act back together. I still miss you so much that I can hardly bear it but I keep it inside, except at night, for Taylor’s sake. Speaking of Taylor, he's been great, I know that he hurts from losing you and Gus but he keeps up a good face in front of everyone. While he did quit football he found out that he enjoys basketball more than football anyway. He's also an excellent student, straight As all year. I went back to work fulltime since I couldn’t let the business go. I found that I hadn’t lost my touch and we had a banner year. Taylor is thinking that he'll go into the business but I’ve told him that he's way too young to worry about that yet and that he can’t feel obligated if he decides he doesn’t like advertising. I’m glad that Gus gave Taylor “The Talk” since I don’t think I could go through that again. As far as I can tell though he hasn’t actually started thinking about girls in that way yet. He still only goes out in group activities but he's been here for me whenever there's been the slightest chance that I would need to have someone with me. Anytime that I would especially miss you, holidays and our various anniversaries, it's amazing how many anniversaries you and I have. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 28th. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2042 Sunshine I still think about you every single day. Life goes on and everyone in the family is well. The business is still doing well though I’ve finally learned how to delegate some. Taylor not only made the varsity basketball squad as a sophomore he actually started more than half of the games. Justin I know that I'm getting old but it's amazing how much society has changed since I was Taylor’s age. Can you believe that Taylor’s first schoolboy romance was with another boy? Yes, a boy, and they didn’t even try to hide it from anyone. Jonathon was a senior and asked Taylor to the Homecoming Dance. When Taylor told me I almost fainted, not that Brian Kinney faints, he was so happy to be asked though I think it was more that it was a senior than Jonathon himself. Here I thought I was lucky to not have to go through that Birds and Bees debacle again and I ended up having to give my grandson the gay version. It really surprised me how embarrassed Taylor got, but from what he said it wasn’t so much for him but that he figured out what it meant about you and me. Taylor and Jonathon dated through the entire year, I’m reasonably sure that they didn’t do anything more than kiss and heavy petting. But once Jonathon graduated last May the relationship did what most relationships between the college bound and the still in High School do and ended a couple of weeks after Jonathon’s graduation. Taylor surprised the hell out of me by bringing home his latest love on the Fourth of July, Samantha. So then I had to gird my loins and give him a refresher course on the straight Birds and Bees talk. Michael almost split a gut trying not to laugh when I told him about the talk. Then Melanie and Lindsay had a lot of fun when they told me that Taylor'd asked them to take him to the doctor and get the male birth control injection. So here I have to go through the pain of telling him how not to get a girl pregnant and he'd already taken care of it. Of course the relationship with Samantha didn’t last past the start Taylor’s junior year two weeks ago. From hints the brat's given me, he's still virgin in every possible way, except for mutual masturbation, but not to count on that lasting much longer. Taylor'll be a starter for the basketball team, from the start of the season, this year. He's finally stopped growing; I hope anyway, 6 foot 8 is plenty tall in my opinion. What am I saying Justin, you know that I would've preferred if the boy had stayed just shorter than me like his Dad did, the horror of Brian Kinney having to look up at his grandson is just so wrong. Just kidding Sunshine. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 29th. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2043 Justin I still think of you but maybe not every day. I’m sure you know but Ted passed on this past year. Who would've thought that Theodore Schmidt would die in a skiing accident? Who would've thought that bland Ted would even jump to Colorado, at 75, let alone learn how to ski? They told us that he died immediately and probably wasn’t in pain, well other than the terror of knowing that you're going to run into a tree at some ridiculous rate of speed. Emmett took Ted’s death very hard but that was expected. Taylor was 2nd team all Pennsylvania as Junior; he should be all state as a senior. He probably will be offered a basketball scholarship from most of the schools in the state but he says he is only interested in going to Penn State whether they offer him a scholarship or not. He is going to follow in his Dad’s and my footsteps. I tried to convince him that he should do whatever is best for him not to follow after Gus and me but he says that Penn State is what he wants and that's what he is going to do. He also decided that he was too young for a serious relationship so he dated a lot of different people this last year. Seemed like he never saw anyone for more than a week or two. I’ve decided that he must be bi since he dated boys and girls almost evenly. I still have problems believing that High School boys can openly date and no one thinks twice about it. Maybe our famous dance had some good repercussions. I guess I really am getting old. I still have problems believing that AIDS is a thing of the past, what with the development of the inoculation to prevent getting infected with the virus. Then you add in the idea of a male birth control injection. Taylor's convinced me that it isn’t permanent and that given a 6-month withdrawal from the injections he can have as many children as he wants. The brat still hints that he's virgin. I don’t know if he gives me these hints to make me feel better or just to yank my chain. Taylor's such a mix of you and Gus it's scary sometimes. Everyone's well; your mother seems to get stronger every year. Our namesake is following in your artistic footsteps. Tommy sent me a picture that little Justin drew for me, I’m 72-years-old and I couldn’t draw a picture as well as this 2-year-old did. It was of me and two angels, in crayon, but it's a beautiful picture. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 30th. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2044 Sunshine I still miss holding you in my arms. Taylor graduated, this past June, number 5 in a class of 500; he was all state in basketball. Penn State asked him to walk on since they found out that he was going there regardless of scholarship offers and that he would have no problem paying for his education. The company is doing better and better every year so money will never be a problem for Taylor. He moved to State College two weeks ago. It certainly was a better start of his college career than Gus had. Sorry to remind you of that horrible time in our lives. The house is so empty without Taylor here but Michael and I are making the best of it. Don't worry your pretty blond head there is nothing going on between us. I'm still not interested in him that way and he doesn't care about sex at all anymore. I know for a fact that our grandson isn’t a virgin anymore. He felt obligated to tell me the day after he popped his cherries. He bragged on how many times he topped his boyfriend, at the time, that first time then he turned right around and bragged on how many times the boy topped him that same night. I think he might have been exaggerating a bit though; even at our best we didn’t manage 10 times in one night. Then two weeks later he told me how much he had enjoyed having sex with his girlfriend, at the time, I told him that I was happy for him but I really didn’t need to hear of all of his sexual exploits. He just gave me a sunshine smile. While he has been with a fair number of boys and girls since then he always considers them a boy or girl friend not some casual trick. Then this past Memorial Day he tried to set me up with a date. I think I hurt his feelings when I absolutely refused to even consider dating. He just didn’t buy my argument that Brian Kinney doesn’t do dates. He even offered to double date with me if that would make it easier for me. I’m just not ready for that Sunshine, I know you would say I’m being silly, but I still miss you too much to even think about someone else. Little Justin sent me another picture, this time I was petting a horse, I think someone has been telling stories. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 31st. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2045 Well Sunshine two more of the gang have joined you wherever it is that you're at now. Melanie died of a heart attack while she was working in her garden. Why she was working in the garden, in February in Pittsburgh, I don’t know but that's what happened. Lindsay found her several hours after Mel had died and she just went to her room and refused to come out. Sounds a lot like me don’t you think? The next morning we found Lindsay had died during the night. I told Taylor that she died of a broken heart, which was true, she just sped things along by taking an overdose of one her prescription medicines. I’ve kept that from the family though so you can’t tell anyone. Taylor decided to have the two buried in the same casket, I’m sure that Mel and Linds were very happy with that decision. Taylor continued dating a lot of people though I think he might be thinking that it's time to start making more long-term relationships. I keep telling him not to get in any hurry. He keeps reminding me of the stories about the twink that wouldn’t go away. I’ll still think someone is telling stories. He still alternates between boys and girls. He doesn’t tell me all the details anymore though. He got through his freshman year with a 4.0 GPA but he quit the basketball team when he found out that the coach had no intention of playing him; just got him to walk on so that he wouldn‘t go to any other school. I guess it was good for him to learn that you can’t trust people unconditionally. I considered using my clout to get the coach fired for hurting Gus' Sonnyboy but Taylor convinced me that he didn't care enough about the issue for me to wasted my time and energy on it. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 32nd. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2046 Justin I love you still. Michael had a stroke and died on April 1. Only Mikey would die on April Fool’s Day. I still miss him, we were best friends for 61 years, and I still miss him. As much as he aggravated me at times he was always there for me when I needed him. Taylor dropped everything when he heard about Mikey and came home to help me get Michael buried and to provide me with all of the comfort I needed to get through losing my best friend. Taylor's still doing well at school and still playing the field though this past year he spent several months dating one boy, he even brought him home to Pittsburgh a couple of times. Little Justin, along with Tommy and Joyce, spent the 4th of July holiday visiting Pittsburgh. While they were here JB, as he said he likes to be called now, drew my portrait. I almost burst out in laughter when he told me that. He told me that he prefers to use pencil now just like his Uncle Justin did. I gave him one of the drawings you did of me, don’t worry it wasn’t one of the nudes. Even Brian Kinney doesn’t give a 5-year-old a nude portrait of himself. Your mother had a bad spell and we were worried about her but she rallied and is in better health than she has been in years. She's 86 now though she doesn’t look a day over 70. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 33rd. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2047 I love you Justin. Another year has passed; they go by faster and faster every year. Taylor's met his life partner, which is what he told me when he introduced her to me at Christmas. She's a wonderful young lady by the name of Debra Maloney; she's exactly 1 day younger than Taylor. Taylor told me that once they started dating he had no doubts that she was the one. He remembered how you used to tell him how you knew that I was the one for you from the first minute you saw me. He also told me that he had found that the boys he'd dated had wanted more from the relationship than he wanted to give while the girls didn’t want as much from the relationship as he wanted from them. Debra and Taylor want each other. They'll wait until after they graduate to get married but they've already set up house together in State College. Sunshine I don’t know how to tell you this but Taylor finally talked me into going on a date. Lucas is a professor Emeritus at Penn State. Taylor had him for one of his classes. It turned out that Lucas and I'd gone to Penn State at the same time all of those years ago, I was a year ahead of Lucas and we were in completely different majors, and colleges for that matter, so we probably never met back then. He's a nice enough guy and we still see each other on occasion but he's no Sunshine and I really have no desire to have sex anymore. Who would've ever thought that Brian Kinney-Taylor would have no desire for sex? I'm 76 after all. It sometimes amazes me how much I feared aging and now that I’m old it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I think that the Sunshine in my life might've had something to with that change in my life view. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 34th. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2048 Sunshine, Taylor and Debra graduated from Penn State in May and started work at the Taylor-Kinney Ad Agency in June. I’ve been giving Taylor a fast course in how to run a family business because I find that I’m getting tired and I’m ready to retire for good. Your mother died, in July, in her sleep. JB drew a family portrait, from various pictures, of the entire family and gave it to me after Jennifer’s funeral. He's going to be as good an artist as his Great Uncle, I look at your face in the portrait and it's like you're in the room with me. Of course this year he isn’t going by JB. When he brought me the portrait I called him JB but he interrupted me and said “I’m going by Bri this year Uncle Brian.” You Taylors know how to make me feel wonderful without even trying. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 35th. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2049 Justin my love another year has gone by. Taylor and Debra were married last December on Gus and Katherine’s anniversary. Taylor said it was Debra’s idea. It was a wonderful day and I was very honored when Taylor asked me to be his best man. Bri was totally thrilled that Taylor asked him to be the head groomsman. Bri’s wedding gift to the happy couple was a picture of you and me under a lamp post and Gus and Katherine dancing at his Prom. I really need to know who has been telling that boy stories. My wedding gift was to retire from the business. Debra and Taylor have taken the company to new heights of prosperity. I went on my first vacation since, well you know, with Lucas and we actually had a great time touring Europe for two months. We actually did more than kiss, which is the first time I’ve done anything like that since, well you know. By the way Sunshine we're going to be great-grandfathers in the not too distant future. Debra is due in late January; Taylor is walking on air one minute and scared to death the next. He'll be a great father, just like you and Gus were. I was OK as a father, I guess, but I was great as a Granddaddy. I’ll be with you soon Sunshine I can feel it in my bones. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 36th. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor January 15 2050 Justin, my beloved Sunshine, on the occasion of your 67th birthday I’m pleased to announce the birth of your great grandsons Michael Gus, Brian Taylor, and Justin Kinney. Babies and mother are doing well. Taylor's beside himself with worries about his adequacy as a father. He's never been so much like his father as he has been the last couple of days. The babies were born a week early just so that they could share your birthday, Taylors are always so thoughtful to us Kinneys. With the advances in medical care, multiple births almost always go to term, unlike when we were young. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor September 8 2050 Justin my love I'll be in your arms soon enough, my bones tell me this. The babies are almost 8 months old. Little Mikey has started walking. Little Justin talks up a storm; sound familiar, even if he's the only one who knows what he's saying most of the time. Little Brian just sits there and smirks while everyone, including his brothers, does his every wish, sound familiar? Emmett died last November, his flame finally extinguished. I’m the last one of the gang left. Sunshine I've missed you every day since, well you know. I've also enjoyed every day since, well you know, being here for Taylor and now his family. I hope you're planning a big party for when I join you and the gang. I love you Justin Craig Kinney-Taylor and I always will. Happy 37th. Brian Shawn Kinney-Taylor “Taylor it's amazing how much your Granddaddy loved your Papa.” “He loved everyone in his life, even if he had problems actually saying so. While I’m glad he is back in Papa’s arms I wish that he could have been here longer for the boys.” “Well we'll just have to do everything possible to keep him in their memories. What do you think of Bri’s latest picture that came in the mail today?” “Granddaddy was right that boy is a wonderful artist at 10 and he's only going to get better. It's a wonderful picture, Granddaddy turning into an angel, he would be the first to be amused by that thought, and flying up into the sky to join with a whole family of angels waiting for him.”