9 PM Monday June 21, 2021 Tree-house Kinney-Taylor backyard 7600 Rivendell Road Pittsburgh Pennsylvania Tommy Weatherly was so excited he couldn’t go to sleep. He’d been tossing and turning since he’d crawled into the sleeping bag after eating hot dogs and roasted marshmallows he’d cooked himself. His cousin Gus, on the other hand, was sleeping soundly in his sleeping bag on the floor of the tree house. Tommy knew Gus was asleep from the snores his cousin was producing. Tommy wanted to ask Gus why he snored and what snores were and why some people snored but others didn’t. Though Tommy was only 5 he knew better than to wake Gus up to ask him about snoring, he just hoped he would remember to ask him in the morning. The day had been one wonderful event after another. Even now when he was tucked into his sleeping bag he was experiencing another first, he was still awake after 8, which he‘d never done before in his life. Since he couldn’t sleep Tommy decided to remember everything that had happened during the day. **** The day hadn’t started out happy. When his Daddy woke him up Tommy remembered that his Daddy was going away again since he had on his Army clothes instead of his Doctor clothes. “Tommy are you going to be the man of the house while I’m gone?” “Yes Daddy, just like the last time. How long are you going to be gone? Will you be back before I start school? Why does the Army send you away?” “Only two or three weeks this time Tommy. I’ll be back before you know it.” “Is Mommy making a special breakfast for you today?” “I don’t know; why don’t we go and see if she’s doing anything special.” ***** After breakfast, Tommy’s Daddy asked him if he wanted to go with him. Tommy didn’t think about how he would get home since he wanted to spend as much time as possible with his Daddy before he left. “Daddy why’s the sky blue, why’re the trees green, why does Uncle Justin live with Uncle Brian? Why does Gus look like Uncle Brian but with Uncle Justin’s hair?” Since Tommy was only five he didn’t realize that his Daddy drove in the wrong direction for the airport when they left their house. Eventually Tommy noticed that they were going in the direction of his Uncle Justin and Uncle Brian’s house. “Daddy why’re we going to Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin’s house instead of the airport? Isn’t their house in the wrong direction for the airport? Did you forget where you were going? Someone told me that when you get old you lose your memory. Daddy are you losing your memory and don’t remember how to get to the airport? Daddy why’re you smiling at me like that?” “Will you give me a chance to answer a question before you ask the next one?” “Sorry Daddy, but why’re we going to Uncle Justin and Uncle Brian’s instead of the airport? Are you running away from the Army? Is Gus going to be there too? Why does Gus live with his Daddies instead of his Mommies? Why don‘t Gus‘ Daddies and Mommies live together like you and Mommy live together with me and Anna?” “Tommy do you really want to know the answers to all of those questions.” “Sure I want the answers Daddy, why do you think I asked? Why doesn’t Gus have any brothers or sisters? Why does Uncle Brian look goofy when Uncle Justin smiles at him? Why does Uncle Justin blush when Uncle Brian whispers into his ear?” With a sigh of relief Tommy’s Daddy had pulled into Brian and Justin’s driveway. “Tommy we’re here. If it’s OK with you; Gus has agreed to let you stay with him today and tonight and he’ll take you back home tomorrow.” “Of course it’s OK with me Daddy, I love Gus. Daddy is Uncle Justin going with you to the airport?” “Why do you ask that Tommy?” “Because he’s in a suit and has his art case and Uncle Brian is still in his bathrobe. Isn’t that a short robe Uncle Brian has on, it barely covers his bottom? Daddy why is Uncle Brian’s hair all mussed up? Why is Uncle Brian barefoot? Why is Uncle Brian playing with Uncle Justin‘s hair? Do you play with Mommy‘s hair like that? Will Anna look as much like me as Mommy and Uncle Justin look like each other?” “Why don’t we get out of the car and go up and ask him?” “Sounds good to me Daddy but you have to get me out of this car seat? When am I going to be old enough to not have to ride in a car seat? In case you forgot I’m five years old now.” “Tommy I’m not going to forget that you’re five until you’re six.” “Hi Uncle Brian, hey Uncle Justin.” “Morning Tommy.” “How’re you doing young TJ?” “Uncle Brian why do you call me that? Why’re you barefoot? Why’s your hair all mussed up? Why’re your lips so red? Uncle Justin why’s your zipper open? Uncle Justin why do you look at Uncle Brian like that?” “Tommy, Tommy give me a hug before I leave?” “Sure Uncle Justin, where’re you going? Daddy’s going to the Army, are you going there too?” “No Tommy I’m just going to Philadelphia for a meeting? Why’re you so full of questions this morning?” “I don’t know Uncle Justin, they just keep coming into my head. Gus says you should never be afraid to ask questions. Where’s Gus?” “That sounds like Sonnyboy; doesn’t it Sunshine?” “Behave today Brian.” “Like I don’t behave and Justin zip up your pants so that you’ll remember to behave.” “Brian!” “What does he mean Uncle Justin? Why won’t you behave if your zipper isn’t shut? Do you have problems with zippers Uncle Justin? I once zipped up too fast and Mommy had to help me out. She almost had a Sunshine smile as big as you get when you look at Uncle Brian when he isn‘t looking. Uncle Justin why did you blush?” “See what you started Brian. Tommy why don’t you go wake Gus up. He’s usually the first one up in the morning but today he’s still in bed.” “OK Uncle Justin, have a good time at your meeting. What kind of meeting is it? Why isn’t Uncle Brian going with you? Isn’t Uncle Brian kind of big for that little robe?” “Tommy get yourself into the house before all of these questions wear me out.” “Alright Uncle Justin but before you go I have to do something.” “What?” “Bend over.” “OK now what? . . . . What was that for?” “Well I know that Uncle Brian won’t kiss you good bye in front of me and Daddy so I just did it for him.” Tommy whispers into his uncle’s ear. “You little scamp, into the house with you. Are you ready to go Stan? OK, now that the little question machine is in the house I can do what I want to do. Stan you might want to close your eyes.” Justin steps over to Brian, pulls his face down, and gives him a Sunshine kiss to end Sunshine kisses and while he is at it his hand slips inside the robe and does some Sunshine work of its own. “What was that for Justin, we already said goodbye in the foyer? You know Sunshine I‘m really glad that this house came with that foyer. It‘s also a good thing that the neighbors are used to us or someone would‘ve called the police by now.” Brian asks with a sly grin. “Tommy told me that you wouldn’t kiss me good bye in front of Stan and him so I felt challenged to uphold the honor of our family. I‘ll agree we‘ve had our share of fun in that foyer over the years.” “Justin you little scamp. I’ll see you tonight, don’t worry Stan, Gus’ll take good care of your question machine.” “Molly and I never worry about Tommy when he’s with Gus, or you two for that matter. We better get moving if we’re going to make our plane Justin. Oh hell give him one more kiss.” Taking his brother-in-law at his word Justin gives Brian another lip smacking kiss though this time his hand doesn’t add to the action. ***** “Gus why’re you still in bed? Uncle Justin said that you’re usually the first one up so why’re you still in bed today? Why’s there a lump in your sheet? Are you sick? If you’re sick I can get Uncle Brian to take me home so that you can stay in bed and rest. You aren’t sick are you Gus? What’re we going to do today? Gus why do you sleep naked?” “Tommy let me wake up before you start your 20,000 questions. We’ve all day for you to ask questions. My alarm didn’t go off for some reason and I sleep naked because, you know Tommy I really don’t know why I sleep naked. Now go watch TV while I get ready.” “OK Gus. Why does Uncle Brian call you Sonnyboy?” “How many times have I answered that question, so why’re you asking it again?” “Just pulling your chain Gus.” “Get out of here you little scamp.” “Why do you and your Daddies pull everyone’s chain? I don’t remember Mommy ever pulling Daddy’s chain. Grandma doesn’t pull anyone’s chain either. What does pulling a chain mean? Will I want to pull everyone’s chain when I get old like you?” “Get going Tommy, I have to take a shower before we start on our adventure and I can’t wash myself if you’re asking 10,000 questions.” “Don’t take too long Gus I want to get started on our day.” “Don’t worry Tommy I won’t be long, there won’t be enough hot water left for a long shower.” “Why not?” “Knowing Dad and Uncle Justin as well as I do they took a very long shower this morning. Now get a move on young man.” “What does that mean Gus? Wouldn‘t the two of them taking a shower together use less hot water? Do they really take showers together? Sometimes Mommy gives Anna and me a bath at the same time. Did you know that girls don‘t have a penis?” Tommy asked as he left Gus’ room; Sunshine smile plastered on his small face. “I’d heard that about girls Tommy but I think you’re pulling my chain again.” ***** Hi again Uncle Brian. Are Daddy and Uncle Justin gone?” Why’re you still barefoot, why don’t you button your shirt all of the way up? Don’t laugh at me Uncle Brian I can’t help it that I ask so many questions.” “I’m not laughing at you TJ but with you. I like the feel of my feet on this soft carpet and I didn’t button this shirt because I’ll be taking it off in a little while when I get ready to go to work. Don’t tell anyone but I usually take my shoes and socks off at work so I can stretch my toes there too. TJ have a good day with Gus but don’t wear him out. I remember when he was your age and how he used to wear me and Justin out without even trying.” “Uncle Brian have you been taking smiling lessons from Uncle Justin?” “Yes TJ I have, for about 20 years. I’ll see you and Gus at supper.” “Good bye Uncle Brian.” ***** “OK Tommy where do you want to go this morning?” “Can we go to the zoo? Or we could go to “The Cabin” and fish.” “We’ll have to go to “The Cabin” some other day when I can make plans for that. So I guess that leaves the zoo.” “That’s great Gus but we don’t have to go to the petting zoo.” “Why not, Tommy? The petting zoo was always my favorite part of the zoo. When I was about your age Dad and Uncle Justin moved into this house and Uncle Justin painted a mural of the petting zoo in my room. When I got older and decided I was too old for that he had four pictures made from part of the walls. I think they’re probably up in the attic, I’ll have to find them and let you see them some day.” “I don’t like the petting zoo because of that damn goat.” “What goat? Does your mother know you cuss?” “Did I cuss? What’s cussing? The last time we went to the zoo that goat hit me in my bottom and knocked me over. It‘s not funny Gus.” “Yes it is Tommy, yes it is. Did you ask the goat why he hit you?” “Gus!!! I didn‘t think of that; would he have answered me if I had asked him?” Tommy answered in a completely serious manner. “Tommy give me my chain back.” Gus said with a chuckle. ***** “Well Tommy you must’ve had a good time at the zoo?” “How can you tell Gus? Gus why do lions and tigers roar but the mountain lions don‘t? Why do the wolves howl? What was that rhino doing when it tried to climb on the other rhino?” “I haven’t seen someone eat so much since the last time Uncle Justin and Dad went dancing.” “Huh? I didn‘t know that they danced together. Are they good? I‘ll bet they look good even if they can‘t dance. Mommy says that Uncle Justin and Uncle Brian are the prettiest couple she knows. You know Gus I think that Mommy likes Uncle Brian almost as much as Uncle Justin does.” “When they got home I thought that Uncle Justin was going to eat everything in the refrigerator. They look wonderful together. Remind me to tell you about my Prom someday. Does your mother know that you can eat so much fast food?” “Probably, that’s why we never go to a place like this. Thank you again for eating here. Why do they call it fast food, it takes longer to get our meal here than it does at the Diner?” “As if I could resist your Sunshine smile anymore than I can resist Uncle Justin’s version.” “Gus why do you call Uncle Justin Uncle Justin? Isn’t he your other Daddy?” “Yes he is Tommy, but he won’t let me call him what I want to call him. Worst of all he’s never given me a good reason why he won’t let me call him Papa.” “I’ll ask him the next time I see him, maybe he can’t resist my Sunshine smile either.” “You little scamp. You do have a very good version of the Taylor smile even if you are a Weatherly.” “I could sneak it into all of my other questions. I‘m just as much a Taylor as a Weatherly, didn‘t you know that Gus?” “That might work Tommy. Yes Tommy I knew that I was just kidding with you. I suppose I should’ve known that the son of a Doctor and a Nurse would know about genetics even if he’s only 5 years old. What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” “Why don’t we go to the park? “Sounds good to me.” **** “Gus why do I go faster on the swing when I put my feet out and then back in? Why does the dirt separate into different sizes when I throw it on the slide? Why do ducks float on the water but robins sink? Why do you go to college at Penn State instead of at Pitt? Why doesn’t Uncle Brian like to kiss Uncle Justin in front of people? What does it mean when people say that Uncle Justin and Uncle Brian are gay? Why did you sigh like that?” “Tommy I get tired just listening to your questions. I go to Penn State because my Dad went to Penn State. Dad and Uncle Justin are gay because they love each other instead of loving women. What do you want to do tonight after supper? What do you want for supper?” “Can we have a campout tonight and eat what we cook over a campfire?” “Maybe some other day when I can make plans for camping out.” “Gus we could camp out in your backyard and sleep in the tree house.” “Tommy I don’t like going in the tree house.” “Why Gus? Can’t we please sleep in the tree house, it would be the first time I’ve ever slept outside.” “I have bad memories about the tree house Tommy.” “What bad memories? Can’t we camp out there and make good memories?” “I don’t like to think about it Tommy, but it has been years so I suppose we can camp out there tonight.” “Thank you Gus, I love you so much. What’re we going to cook on the camp fire?” “Tommy we can’t build a fire in the back yard, Uncle Justin would skin us alive if we burnt a hole in his lawn. I know we’ll get the old grill out of the attic, take the legs off, put it on some bricks and use that to build a campfire in. We’ll stop at the store on the way home and buy some camp out food. Have you ever roasted marshmallows?” “No I’ve never roasted anything. Will Uncle Brian camp out with us? Why’re you laughing so hard Gus?” “Dad doesn’t camp out Tommy besides Uncle Justin will be home tonight and Dad’ll want to celebrate his return.” “What does that mean Gus, Uncle Justin just left this morning.” “You’ll understand when you’re older Tommy. Dad hates it when Uncle Justin is away, even for a few hours and always celebrates when they get back together.” “Why?” “It has to do with something that happened between them back when I was a baby.” “That long ago and they still remember.” “For someone who doesn’t know what pulling a chain is you certainly know how to pull a chain. Don’t think that Sunshine smile will get you off of the hook.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about Gus,” said with the biggest Sunshine smile of the day. *** “Gus why’s the milk in the back of the store? What’s the difference between milk and buttermilk? Why’re there so many types of hot dogs? What’s the difference between hotdogs, wieners, and frankfurters? Why’re there 10 hot dogs in a package but only 8 buns in a package?” “Tommy I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. Should we hunt up the manager of the store and ask him?” “No Gus lets just finish up our shopping so we can go to your house and have our campout.” ***** “Gus why’re we stopping at this store?” “We need to buy some camping gear Tommy.” “What kind of camping gear? I can’t wait to camp out Gus, do you think Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin will camp out with us tonight?” “The tree house isn’t big enough for all four of us Tommy and Uncle Justin won’t get back to Pittsburgh before you have to go to bed.” “I can stay up till Uncle Justin gets home. When’s he going to get home?” “I promised your mother that you would go to bed at your bed time. You wouldn’t want me to get into trouble with your mother would you?” “No Gus I don’t want you to get into trouble. But Gus all you have to do is look like Uncle Brian then stick your tongue into the side of your cheek and Mommy can’t get mad at you.” “We’ll just have to see Tommy, I don’t think you can stay awake that long even if I were willing to risk Molly’s wrath and let you try. What color sleeping bag do you want? “You’re getting me a sleeping bag?” “Of course you can’t camp out without a sleeping bag.” “Gus I love you so much. What else do we need to get for our campout?” “Just some marshmallow skewers.” “What are those?” “Well you use them to roast marshmallows. I’m sure Dad will show you how to roast a marshmallow.” “I can’t wait, are they good? Why’re you getting so many Gus, there’re only three of us.” “Well Tommy they cost a dollar apiece but I can get a package of 6 for three dollars so that makes much more sense and besides now that we have them we can have a family cookout someday and we’ll have enough. Ready to go?” The two young men get into Gus’ Jeep and start for home. “I can’t wait Gus, I’ve never camped out before. You’re sure Uncle Brian won’t camp out with us, maybe we can ask Uncle Justin after they get back from the airport and they can sleep in the tree-house with us.” “We can ask if you’re still awake but don’t get your hopes up. Like I said Dad will want to celebrate his Sunshine’s return.” “What does that mean? Why do people call Uncle Justin Sunshine? Even Daddy calls him that.” “Because of that Sunshine smile that all of you Taylors have. Debbie started calling him Sunshine and since it fit everyone in the family uses it.” “Maybe I should start calling him Uncle Sunshine, do you think he would mind?” “No Tommy he wouldn’t mind at all. Why did you get that frown on you face Tommy? “I just wondered if I would still be your best friend when you and Katherine get married. When’re you two going to get married?” “What do you mean? Katherine and I aren’t going to get married anytime soon.” “That isn’t what Uncle Brian told Mommy last week. He said that the two of you were going to get married any day now. Why didn’t you tell me Gus, I’m your best friend?” “I didn’t tell you because I’m not getting married anytime soon. Dad just likes to bug me about it and I guess now he’s trying to get the rest of the family involved too. Don’t worry Tommy you’ll always be my best friend, all that will happen when Katherine and I do get married is that she’ll be your best friend too.” “Gus how come your Daddy loves Uncle Justin and your Mommy loves Melanie but you love Katherine? Shouldn’t you love another guy?” “That’s not how it works Tommy. I’ve loved Katherine from the day I first met her and I plan on loving her until the day I die.” “Why’re we going around back?” “It’s just easier to unload everything for our night under the stars back here Tommy. We’ll just put everything under the tree then go into the house to get the old grill and some matches.” “Can we ask Uncle Brian if he wants to eat with us?” “Sure Tommy we can do that, but don’t get your hopes up. Dad isn’t big on eating grilled food unless it’s a thick steak. Come to think of it he isn’t that big on eating much of anything. Pretty much as long as I can remember Uncle Justin has been trying to get Dad to eat more. I think that it’s more of a game with Dad that he plays with Uncle Justin.” “What does that mean Gus?” “It’s an adult thing Tommy, you’ll understand when you’re older. I’m technically an adult myself and I still don’t understand everything about those two. I just hope that Katherine and I are as happy when we get married as Dad and Uncle Justin are.” “Me too! Slow down Gus you’re walking too fast for me to keep up. I might be five but you still have longer legs than I do.” “Sorry Tommy. You wait here in the kitchen while I go up into the attic and get the grill.” “OK Gus, can I get something to drink?” “Sure, do you need help?” “I’m not a baby I can pour a glass of juice by myself.” Said with a Sunshine smile. While the two young men are smiling at each other a horrible sound comes from the back of the house. “OH MY GOD, Dad what’s wrong.” Gus then races off with Tommy following behind. By the time Tommy gets to the master bathroom Gus has thrown open the door entered the room and has begun laughing hysterically. “Gus what’s so funny? What happened? What was that terrible sound? Gus are you listening to me? Uncle Brian why’re you holding your penis like that? Why’s your penis so stiff? What’s that white stuff on the shower curtain? Why’s Gus laughing so hard? Can’t you talk anymore Uncle Brian?” “Gus get control of yourself and both of you get out of here.” ***** “Gus what was Uncle Brian doing and why’s he so mad at us?” “Dad isn’t mad at us Tommy, I just surprised him when I burst into the bathroom. I’ve wondered over the years why I’d never heard Dad sing, now I know why?” “What? Why doesn’t Uncle Brian sing? Uncle Justin sings almost as well as he draws.” “Well Tommy what do you think that horrible sound we heard was?” “You mean that was Uncle Brian singing? No wonder we’ve never heard him sing before. Anna can sing better than that and she’s only 2 years old.” “Tommy we can’t tell anyone about what we heard and saw today. Dad is a very proud man and it would hurt him is we told people how badly he sings. Do you promise not to tell anyone?” “Of course I promise Gus, I love Uncle Brian and I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. But why didn’t he answer my questions.” “That’s something else you can’t talk about, you’ll understand why in about 8 or 9 years but for now just forgot everything, and I mean everything, you saw and heard today, OK? “OK Gus, can we start cooking soon? I’m starving.” “I don’t think you’re starving but yes we can start, how many hot dogs do you want?” “Four, but I bet you won’t make me that many.” Tommy grins from ear to ear as he answers the question. ****** “Hi Uncle Brian, did you come to roast marshmallows with us? Gus says you’re very good at burning them but I’m very good at roasting them so I can give you lessons.” “I’m glad you have a sunshine smile on that cute little Taylor face of yours TJ. Yes I’ll roast some marshmallows and Gus has given me enough lessons over the years that I can actually roast most of them instead of burning them.” Brian says with a sunshine smile of his own. “When do you expect Uncle Justin to get home Dad? He’ll be so proud that you only burned one of your marshmallows.” “I expect him home in an hour or so Gus. You know Sonnyboy you aren’t too big for me to spank you. That would be something for TJ to tell the rest of the Weatherly clan wouldn’t it? “I’m really scared Dad, really scared. What do you really want to talk about?” “Guys I want you to promise that you won’t tell anyone about this afternoon.” “We already agreed to do that Dad. We wouldn’t want anyone to know how badly you sing.” “Gus I really meant what I said about spanking you.” “Don’t worry Uncle Brian we won’t say anything, I don’t know why Gus was laughing so much so how can I say anything about it? Uncle Brian how come Uncle Justin doesn’t sing more than he does? Mommy has to pull teeth to get him to sing. He sings so well why doesn’t he do it more often? What does pulling teeth have to do getting Uncle Justin to sing?” “I’m not really sure why Justin doesn’t sing more often. He does have a beautiful voice and he is a wonderful actor as well. I think his reluctance to sing has something to do with the time he was in a musical that the GLC put on before you were born TJ. Do you remember that play Gus? Do you have any idea why it put him off of singing?” “Yes I remember it Dad, it’s kind of hard to forget your second father dancing around with a blanket. I don’t think I ever knew why Uncle Justin quit singing after the run of the play though. I guess we’ll have to ask him some day. Well Dad can I interest you in the last marshmallow in the bag?” “No thanks Sonnyboy I’ve eaten too much sugar already tonight, I don’t want to be too hyper when Justin gets home, we have some serious items to discuss.” “Uncle Brian why’s Gus laughing and rolling around on the ground again?” “I don’t know TJ I think that I should send him to the Doctor tomorrow to see if there is anything wrong with him. Good night boys.” “Dad don’t wear yourself out tonight, you do have to go to work in the morning?” “What did you mean by that comment Gus?” “Nothing Tommy I was just pulling Dad’s chain. Let’s put the fire out, go up to the house and get ready for bed and then we can come back here and you can start your first night sleeping outside.” “Sounds like a plan to me Gus.” ***** Tommy heard a car door slam and he knew that Uncle Justin had gotten home from Philadelphia. A few minutes later he heard a burst of laughter coming from his Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin’s bedroom window and he finally dozed off.