A/N Thanks to Big J who expressed interest in seeing this continued. I hope you enjoy, and there is more to come! Please review!
Brian’s POV
As I step out of Babylon the cool air hits my face. It’s such a drastic change from the heavy air inside. I always notice when you first walk in, the thickness surrounds you, then after a while, you don’t even realize it anymore, until you step out again, out of the haze. Justin always put me in that haze, no matter where we were.
I quickly make it back to the loft and get my bag. I surprise myself with how light I’ve managed to pack, considering for a few days I would normally require a decent size suitcase, but now I get by with a large overnight bag. Then again I don’t plan on wearing clothes a lot of the time I’m out there. I’m almost glad now since it will be easier lugging a bag around as apposed to a large suitcase.
I call a cab to come get me. I don’t want to leave my beloved ‘vette in the short term parking. It doesn’t take long to get here, and I’m relieved. As I tell the cab driver to take me to the airport, I look out at the deserted street. At least traffic won’t be a bitch. It’s only now that I start to get almost, dare-I-say-it giddy? I’ve kept myself purposely busy this whole week to keep my mind off of this trip and the constant anxiousness I got when I would allow myself to think about getting to see him. I felt stupid for acting like that so I didn’t allow myself to feel or think about it. But now that I’m in the cab and on my way, I can’t help but sit here and smile like a fool. Good thing this driver isn’t a talker.
When I finally get to the airport and check my bag in I go to my gate and wait. There is more people than I thought would be here for a flight to New York at 2am. I start to think that just a short while ago, I would still be at Babylon right now. I would still have an hour before my ‘curfew’. It’s funny that even all those times we were apart or whatever, I still didn’t break those damn rules. I find it funny that I thought that was cheating, not sticking my dick in countless mouths and asses. That was ok, but walking in a minute late, or kissing someone on the mouth or even thinking of fucking a guy twice was my idea of crossing the line. Talk about unconventional.
The stewardess announcing it was time to board broke my train of thought. Thank god it was a short flight. And even though it was under an hour, I still had to have my first class seat. Fuck anyone who thought I would cram my ass in a seat with enough leg room for a ten year old so I could save a buck. I think about getting a glass of beam, but decide against it. It’s almost refreshing that I don’t have the need to drown myself in alcohol as much anymore. Luckily the stewardess doesn’t try and hit on me when she comes by to ask if I would like anything. She seems more tired and just going through the motions. I mean, how many times can someone do those safety instructions and bathroom directions without wanting to jump out of the plane? More power to her.
After she leaves and everyone starts reading their Sky Mall magazines or breaking out their iPods, I know I should do something other than thinking. I’ve spent all week avoiding it, I’d hate to ruin it right before I get there. But then thinking about ‘not thinking’ only starts the chain of thinking that I’ve tried to avoid. Cause I finally realize why I avoided it to begin with.
Doubt.
I didn’t tell him I was coming, shouldn’t I have? He doesn’t know I’m coming, does he want me to? We didn’t talk about how any of this was supposed to go.
Well, I’m going to forget about all that shit because I know he will be happy to see me. The doubts are all due to my childhood that fucked me up good by causing me to expect rejection, or some psycho babble shit like that. And if I know Justin, and I do, he will be shitting his pants as soon as he sees me. And he said fuck all I know about romance.
After deciding that Justin would actually be happy to see me and that I didn’t have to worry, I filled the rest of the short flight with mundane thoughts. Fuck if I would look through a Sky Mall magazine, after years of being in advertizing, it’s all shit to me now. After we land and I hear the stewardess run off her practiced fair well, I’m off to retrieve my bag. It’s a little past 3am once I finally get my bag and get a cab. Seems Justin’s place will take a whole half hour to get to. Even though it’s the middle of the night, in the city that never sleeps, that means nothing. There are still enough cabs and cars to cause a slight wait now and then. It’s then that I start to get anxious again. I’m so close now. And instead of looking at the cab fair, I stare at the clock. And every time I look at it, willing the minutes to change faster, they don’t. As much as I will the cars to move and the lights to change, they don’t. Curse my impatient-ness. Or maybe it’s my excitement to see him? No, too lesbian for me.
After what seems like an eternity, the cab driver finally pulls up in front of his shitty apartment. It’s nearly as bad as his place back in the Pitts. I already know that Daphne’s friend that he’s staying with went out of town for a few days, so me knocking on the door at almost 4am won’t cause any drama. As I take the elevator that makes mine look like one from a four star hotel up the eight floors, I’m filled with excitement once again, only times ten. With each second in-between the glowing numbers changing from floor to floor, the feeling keeps building. And as soon as it dings for the 8th floor, it disappears.
Bag in hand I walk down the hallway to apartment 7. I stand outside the door, frozen. I shift from foot to foot, relaxing my grip on my bag only to grip it tight again. I stare at the number, stare at the old door and its chipped paint. This is the only thing separating me from Justin right now. I take a few calming breaths, run my fingers through my hair to make sure I don’t look as unhinged as I feel and knock on the door strongly. I know he’s a deep sleeper and it’s going to take him a while to realize what’s going on. I knock a few more times when I hear a hesitant “Who’s there?” come from inside. Well, at least I know he’s not dumb enough to just whip open the door in the middle of the night in New York.
“Justin, it’s Brian...”
I barely get my name out when he has the door flung open, wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants that I notice are mine and staring at me like I just turned into a woman. I give him a small smile and show him my bag and then he grabs me by my jacket and pulls me inside. At first I think he is just going to ravage me, at least that’s always how I pictured it to be, but he just continues to stare at me. I think he is still in shock. Then again, with my past history, I never gave him a reason to expect something like this. So while he processes everything, I walk over to the sofa and set my bag down and start looking around the place he now calls home.
It’s not as bad in here. I can tell Daphne’s friends, whatever her name is, tried to keep it looking decent. The furniture is a little mixed-matched, but that’s to be expected. The colors of the walls are nice and bright though. I can even see some of Justin’s work on the walls. I start to wander over to one when Justin must have awakened from his shock.
“Um... do you want something to drink?” he always did keep up is WASP manners.
“No thanks. When did you do this one?” I ask indicating a medium size canvas.
“Oh... I did that a few months ago. I never really had any room to hang stuff in my apartment back in the Pitts. It was always covered with plans for new stuff and besides... the walls were too dirty, like you so nicely pointed out...” he gives me a small smirk. “... that and I didn’t have many guests to admire my work anyways.” He comes to stand right next to me, us both looking at his painting.
“What do you see?” he asks. I wonder if this is a test or something.
I take a minute to really look at it. It’s abstract so of course I’m going to actually think about my answer, since it won’t be obvious. I’ve always loved his work. Even when all he was doing was his sketches. He always put so much into them, they looked as if they took hours, days even. But I would watch him all the time and he would make it look effortless. He’s always just had it.
I run my eyes over the whole thing, taking in every color and every swirl. I put myself in his head, imagine my hand making those beautiful stokes and mixing those colors and what they would mean. I guess it helps that he told me when he did this. Cause now I know for sure what I see.
“I see frustration. I see need and desperation.” and I know I’m right.
This is when we were falling apart, again. I know now that I was a shit then. That he was just grasping for straws near the end and I wouldn’t give him any. I just wouldn’t. I look away from the painting cause I hate what it means. He’s still looking at it as he speaks to me.
“Why did you come here?”
He doesn’t say it in a way that he makes it seem like he doesn’t want me here, he says it more like he genuinely wants to know. It’s only when I look back up at the painting that he looks at me. I run my eyes over the painting one more time before I glace over and look him in the eyes. I’ve missed looking into those eyes.
“I... I missed you.” I let out a sigh and smirk a little. I almost feel silly for saying this. “I needed to see you.” I look around the room cause I can’t look at him. I let out a huff of a laugh. “I didn’t even last a day before I booked my trip. Pathetic right?” I turn to look at him again and he’s smiling.
“No... it’s perfect.” He steps closer to me, closing the small space that was between us and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “I missed you too, even as I closed the door to the loft.” he whispers right before his lips connect with mine.
It starts off soft and tender, but as I start to run my fingertips over his bare back and he is unbuttoning my coat it starts to get more intense. I didn’t realize how much I missed kissing him until the thought of stopping the kiss seems unbearable. His taste is stronger, like it always is after we’ve been apart for a while and I just want to crawl inside him. After he gets my coat off he starts on my shirt, slowly unbuttoning each button. I thank myself for putting on that shirt and him for not putting one on so that we don’t have to separate our lips for even a second.
As my shirt floats to the floor I feel him start to move us in the direction I’m assuming is of his bedroom. I blindly follow his lead and am relieved when I feel the bed hit the back of my legs and immediately laying back, pulling him down with me. Now that my feet are off the floor, I kick my shoes off my feet while at the same time trying to touch every piece of skin I can reach.
I feel him give my lips one more lick before he pulls away. We both are breathing heavy, trying to slow down our rapid intake of breath and calm down or we’ll never make it to the good stuff. My lips feel raw, but I still want more. He smirks as he slides off and stands in front of me. I’m curious so I watch him. He grabs my leg and takes off my sock, doing the same to the other. Then he moves forward and unbuckles my belt and pulls it out slowly. If he does this any slower I’m going to explode! I close my eyes and throw my head back in frustration but let him continue his torture. Finally I feel his fingers at the top of my pants and he releases the button of my jeans. Then, I hear the familiar clinks of the zipper sliding down. Now I can’t keep my eyes closed, I have to see him. This is what I’ve been waiting for for the last week, and I won’t waste a minute with my eyes closed. God knows I’m going to need plenty of memories for my next unknown length of time away from him.
He continues with the slow pace he’s set by pealing my jeans off inch by inch. Good thing I didn’t wear underwear or that would have been drug out and been more precious minutes wasted. Finally I’m naked and spread out in from of him. I watch as he turns around and making a show of it, sliding down his (or should I say my) sweat pants. He knows me too well.
In that moment I can’t wait any longer and can’t stand the slow speed he somehow set. I sit up and turn him around and pull him down on top of me again. I plunge my tongue in his mouth and I can feel him smiling. So I grid our cock’s together in retaliation. I’m so hard at this point I could probably cum from just this. And even though we have four days to fuck, I still don’t want to waste a second.
I roll us over and start to lick and nip at his neck. I make sure I go over every spot that makes him moan and run his hands through my hair. I continue down and run the tip of my tongue around his nipple. I give it a slight nip and I hear him gasp. I spend a little while there, making sure both are shiny with my spit. Then I move down the middle of his stomach and watch as much as I feel his muscles tighten as it sends pleasure through him. His taste is intoxicating. His smell is everywhere.
When I get to his cock, I glace up at him. His head is thrown back, his eyes are closed and his hands are in the sheets, twisting them in his grip. His mouth is open, gasping and moaning while taking in short breaths. I never get tired of seeing him like this. It only encourages me to move forward, making sure that I keep that look on his face. I then take him into my mouth entirely. His back arches off the bed, creating the shape of a bow with his body. I work my tongue around and use my best techniques to get him off quickly, I need to taste him. And for the week we’ve been apart, I’m shocked when he can hold out a little while longer. But not too much longer and I finally get to taste what I’ve been dreaming about for days. Swallowing every drop, I slide back up to him. His arms are spread out, his eyes are open, staring at the ceiling and his mouth is still open trying to catch his breath.
“I’ve missed that.” he says in-between gasps.
“Who wouldn’t... I’m the best.” I smile down at him.
“I think I could give you a run for your money...” he say as he brings me down for a kiss, knowing that his next move is to prove that statement.
“Ah, ah, ah... later.” I smirk down at his disappointed face. He will just have to wait.
I get serious and lean down next to his ear and whisper “I need to be inside you.”
He nods and I feel him move up toward the top of the bed and goes into the drawer for a condom and lube. He hands me the lube while he tears open the condom wrapper. I’m coating my fingers as I feel him slide the condom on, I stop what I’m doing and hold in a gasp. This is going to be hard and fast because I won’t make it for anything else. I push his hand away before I cum like a 14 year old and spread his thighs apart. I gently push in one finger at a time, while being as quick as I can. He senses my eagerness and says “Fuck me Brian” and that’s all I need.
I take out my fingers and quickly settle myself in-between his spread legs. As I push into him I can’t stop the loud moan that comes out. I haven’t been with anyone all week. Even though I didn’t have to, and even though I could blame it on being busy, I know that I just didn’t want anyone else. Being inside him again, feeling how tight, how well we fit, how he knows when to grip me and where to touch me and when to pull me down for an intense kiss that I never want to stop. That makes me remember why I don’t want anyone else. No one can give me this.
We stare at each other as we move. He’s starting to get that light sweat on his face and everywhere else. His cheeks are tinted that shade pink again. His mouth is open, moaning my name the way only he can. Our fingers are linked together, just another connection that just fits.
I feel the end coming, and I try so hard to make it last longer. I’m hitting his sweet spot over and over and I know that he feels the end too. And as I start to feel us tumbling over the edge, I lean down and capture his lips with mine, losing our gasps in each others mouths. My eyes clamp shut so hard I see white, while the intensity of my orgasm makes me see stars. I break the kiss so that I can take in rapid breaths and ride out the last of my orgasm as I feel him cum between the both of us. With that, the last of my strength is gone and my arms give way and I lay on top of him. All of a sudden, I notice that we are laying across the bed the same way as the night before he left.
Not wanting to remember the feelings that were tearing me apart that night, I roll off of him and remove the condom and throw it somewhere on the floor. I hear him get up and go to the bathroom for a washcloth. As he’s gone I lean down and get my cigarettes out of the pocket in my pants. I don’t want to have to deal with this right now. I want to revel in this time I have, cause I’m finally with him again. I don’t want to ruin these few days I have with him. I inhale deeply from the cigarette and hold it in as long as possible. The smoke is floating in the air around me when he comes back and cleans me off. I see he already took care of himself. He tosses the rag down somewhere on the floor, probably next to the discarded condom and crawls up next to me.
I wrap my arm around his shoulders and he lays his head on my chest. He runs his fingers over my stomach so lightly I can barely feel it. He grabs the cigarette out of my fingers and takes a long drag. I watch as he blows the smoke out of his mouth and then watch as it slowly disappears. It’s then that I start to look around his room.
The walls are an electric blue, he has a few more of his paintings on the walls. Although none of them seem to be from out last time apart, and that makes me feel relieved. I noticed that his room is a mess, exactly like he likes it. But even though all his things are here, everything in this room may be ‘Justin’, but I can tell that all of him isn’t in this room. I get the sense that this is only temporary for him and that makes me glad. There is still a part of him that will always be in the Pitts, always be with me.
“New York will never be my home.” he says against my chest. It sends chills through me as I feel his warm breath brush over my skin.
“I know...” I breathe out.
I glace over at the clock and see that it’s almost 6am. It’s then that the long night and no sleep hits me. I’m suddenly exhausted. I take one last drag from my cigarette and am grateful when I see an ashtray by his bed. My late night visit must have caught up to Justin too cause he’s already asleep on my chest. I use my leg to bring the duvet up close enough for me to reach it without moving Justin too much and wrap it around us. I look down at him and run my fingertips down his cheek. I realize that I have loved him for so long, but only recently started to tell him. Why was it so hard?
I give up on trying to figure out why for the last five years I’ve been such a shit, I’ve spent too many hours already in this last week trying to figure it out. All I know is that Justin is willing to forgive me, or overlook it.
I place a gentle kiss on his forehead and pull him a little closer. I breath in the smell of his hair and run my fingers over his still bare back. Finally I can let myself sleep, and I won’t have to dream of him tonight just to make it through. I’m finally here.
*****
When I start to wake up the next morning, it takes me a minute to remember that I’m in New York and in Justin’s shitty apartment. I look around for a clock even though I know it’s past noon most likely. When I finally find it, I was right, 12:23. It feels good to be able to just sleep in, even better that Justin’s still wrapped around me. I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes again and I rest my cheek on the top of his head. I’m so comfortable and for once I have a feeling of relaxation that I don’t even want to move. However, knowing Justin, he’ll be up soon due to his never ending hunger. So as I wait for him to wake up, I just lay here holding him, running my fingers lazily over his bare skin, keeping my eyes closed and almost falling back asleep.
I don’t even realize how much time has gone by when I feel him start to move and shift around, he rolls onto his back and stretches out as he lets out a yawn. He reaches his hand out and runs it through my messy hair.
“Morning” he says a little too perky for just waking up.
“More like afternoon...” I murmur.
He rolls back towards me, resting his chin on my chest as he looks up at me. I bring my hand up to his hair and run my fingers through it. I’m glad he grew it out more, it suits him.
“I’m glad you came” he says.
I smile down at him “Me too.”
“I didn’t think you would be the first one to cave. I thought it would be like when I went to LA...” he looks sad for a moment. I knew I should have gone out there. Fuck. “... it doesn’t matter. You’re here now. So... how long are you here for anyways?” he asks. Well, at least he doesn’t hold it against me for not coming out to LA.
“Well, I figured about four days. Think that’s enough time to do enough fucking to last us ‘til next time?” I give him a small smile. I hope he doesn’t have too much planned, I’d hate to waste good fucking time.
“Hmmm... I guess I could make it work” and there’s that smile. I love that I can be like this around him. Joke around in a playful way that makes me feel like a kid.
“Am I going to have to share you with anyone during these four day? I mean, you are conquering the art world which would probably make you a busy man...” I ask. And I’m hoping the answer is no.
“Well, I guess I am kind of a big deal now...” he says in a snobby voice, trying to hide a smile. “Buuuuut... I could be persuaded to clear my schedule and free up some of my valuable time for you.”
“Brat”
I grab his shoulders and pull him up for a kiss. Even in the morning he tastes good. I feel him move so he’s straddling my hips and he has moved his hands to hold himself up on the bed. I’ve move my hands to his neck to keep his lips securely on mine. After a few minutes he pulls away, both our breathing slightly increased. He quickly jumps off the bed and starts walking towards the door.
“Lets take a long, hot shower...followed by many cups of hot coffee and a big breakfast... or should I say lunch?” he giggles then continues walking. Right as he walks past the door he turns around to face me.
“Lets go... you’re a necessity for the shower portion of this plan” he raises his eyebrow in a way that I know he stole from me as he wiggles his bare ass. I quickly get out of bed and follow him into the hall and into the bathroom.
Damn this is small. Next time, he’s coming to the Pitts. If he plans on lots of shower fucking, this place will not do. I have been spoiled for way to long.
He turns the water on hot like I like it, I’m starting to notice that he finally likes it that hot now too. We step into the shower/tub combo and I start to laugh. I haven’t even seen one of these in years, let alone showered or tried to fuck in one.
My attention is drawn away from the hideous shower to now focus on Justin as he leans his head back and I watch as the water gently washed over him. I remember the first time I saw Justin like that, couldn’t resist it then and I can’t now. So I give into my urges like always and step closer to him so I can run my hands over his glistening wet skin. We take turns washing each others hair then moving on to softly work in the body wash. We slowly let the soap run off our bodies and stand in the warmth lazily kissing. And after two blowjobs we step out and dry off. For how much I was disgusted by the small shower to begin with, it seemed to hold up this morning, so I guess it will have to do for the remaining days.
As we walk back towards his bedroom, I stop by the couch where I left my bag last night. I bring it in his room and start going through it for some jeans and a t-shirt. Justin just put on a pair of his own jeans and was looking through his closet for a shirt when he glances over at me. I notice that he stopped looking for a shirt and was just staring.
“What?” I ask as I slip on my jeans.
“Where’s your other bags?” he asks like he’s truly puzzled.
“This is it Sunshine” I flash him a smile and pull on my shirt. I walk over to his closet and pull out one of my favorite t-shirts of his and hand it to him. He seemed to have forgotten what he was doing in his shock of me downsizing my luggage.
“You’re just full of surprises lately... should I be worried?” he kisses me quickly then pulls on his shirt. Then he starts heading to the kitchen, I follow him.
“I know I’ve never been good with surprises, but I think I have done pretty good with the last few if I do say so myself.” I sit down on one of the stools set up along the counter. He starts to make the coffee and from what I can tell, it’s one of those flavored coffees he’s fond of. Smells good. He always did have a taste for the finer things.
“Yes, none can compare to this one, you really out-did yourself indeed.” he smiles. “However, the house in West Virginia and you proposing were pretty good surprises too.”
He starts pulling out things to make sandwiches and sets everything up in front of me on the counter. He knows I like to watch him cook, even though this technically isn’t cooking.
“Yeah... all of that was kind of a surprise for me too.” He doesn’t know that I still haven’t sold ‘Britin’. I guess I’m hoping that after he conquers the art world and doesn’t have to be here all the time, that maybe he will come home. To that home. He probably knows I didn’t sell it. He already knows I kept the rings, what makes him think I could sell our house?
“So... how is the art world?” I’m hoping he will be a big success right away. One, cause he deserves it and his talent is truly amazing, and two, I want him to be able to come home.
“Its moving along. I’ve gotten a few meetings with some galleries who express some genuine interest. It will be a while before I’ll have my own show though. I’m still looking for a decent work space. Kristin already warned me about doing any painting here so that’s pretty much at the top of my list right now.” he finished the sandwiches and puts one in front of me as he goes to pour the coffee. So the roommate’s name is Kristin?
“Well, I could help you look while I’m here. My original plans were to stay in, but the artist’s needs come first” he laughs as he hands me my coffee and sits on a stool next to me.
“Well, I’d hate to monopolize all your time here with checking out crappy potential work spaces, but I guess I could use some help deciding which rat infested dump I’m going to be spending considerable amounts of time in soon.” he mumbles around a bite.
I know I shouldn’t offer because I know he won’t let me, but I really want him to be able to work somewhere decent. His last place made my skin crawl and I have a feeling that anything we are going to look at here in his price range is going to be a lot worse which only makes me shudder. I wish he would let me help him out. I guess there’s no harm in offering.
“You know... I could help...” I say hesitantly.
He stops mid chew and stares ahead for a minute. He swallows hard then glaces back at me. I just pick at what’s left of my sandwich waiting for him to get mad at me for not thinking he can do this on his own.
“Brian... I don’t want you to feel like you have to help me out all the time. I mean I’m sure the places I can afford are shitty, but they can’t be bad enough that I can’t handle it until I start getting a little more established.” Well, at least he didn’t yell at me.
“I know I don’t have to help you... I want to.” I look at him “I want you to be somewhere where you can be comfortable to create. Somewhere where rats aren’t shitting on your master pieces” I smirk at him. “Just consider it my donation to the arts.”
“Should I name my work space Charity, in honor of your donation?”
“It has a nice ring to it...” I sip some more of my coffee, happy that he is going to let me help him out after all. “... but I think a plaque of some sort would work too.”
“Does ‘All Hail the Great Hero Brian Kinney’ suffice?”
“I could defiantly see that working. There should also probably be a picture to go along with it, you know, to let everyone know that not only am I generous, but also incredibly hot.” I whisper the last word right into his ear and then give it a little bite. He laughs and moves off the stool and grabs our plates and puts them in the sink. He fills our cups with more coffee and then takes his cup and my hand and leads us to the couch. We both set our cups down on the coffee table and I sit back first so he can lean against my chest, resting in-between my spread legs.
“So... tell me more about your roommate, Kristin.”
“Well, she’s alright. She kind of reminds me of you when it comes to neatness, hence why she put the kibosh on me even thinking of painting here. She does her own thing most of the time. She did take me out a few times to show me around, make sure I knew the basics, but now she’s back to her world. It’s almost like we are college dorm roommates, like we were paired together randomly and get along cause we have to but both know that a deep friendship will never form... that kind of thing.” as he finishes he starts to run his fingers over my knee.
So I guess his roommates a bitch. I thought so after he told me the little bit about her already ‘warning’ him about painting here. What did this girl expect? Did Daphne tell her nothing about Justin?
“Sounds like a cunt to me.” seems odd that this girl doesn’t seem to be warming up to Justin and his charms. They’ve worked on pretty much everyone else, hell, even me.
“Yeah... but she’s letting me live here and she cut me some slack on the rent so I can’t complain too much.” he lets out a sigh. I wish he had some more friends out here. “When she took me out that night I met some of her friends, they seemed nice. Her one friend Grace was awesome, she’s an artist too, we talked a lot that night and have hung out a little since. I guess she’ll have to be my replacement Daphne while I’m out here.”
“I’m going to tell Daphne you said that...” I say and laugh picturing the look on Daphne’s face.
“I’m sure you are my replacement for her so I guess she won’t have much to go on.”
The sad thing is, is that he’s right. Daphne has been hanging around a lot since Justin left. She even stopped by twice during the week at Kinnetic for lunch. I should have known what was up. I’m her new girlfriend... shit.
“Thanks for passing her on to me. Now it will be like you never left.” I smirk.
“Shut up, you know you miss me like crazy. Why else would you be here so quickly?”
Well, he’s got me there.
“So, tell me about New York night life. Is it as fabulous as LA?”
“Brian, I told you, all clubs are the same everywhere you go. Some are just harder to get into creating an air of mystery and status and BAM... instant popularity. But we went to this club called Pyramid and it was interesting. Then later we went to this place called Mr. Black, they referred to it as a ‘dance den’. It was a little creepy...well, at least all the guys there were. There was this one guy that kept trying to get me to come home with him, I practically had shove him off me. Luckily, Grace is fireball and chased him away somehow.”
As soon as he starts to tell me about the guy that doesn’t understand the meaning of ‘fuck off’ I start to get pissed. I remember the times when I had to do that at Babylon. Whenever I would see some random guy touching Justin and he wasn’t interested, I would just see red. That feeling will never go away, that need to protect him. But now it’s a whole different story, I’m not there to make sure the guy stays the fuck away. Shit, now I will have that haunt me after I leave. He must see that I’m mad because he turns around to look at me, I wait a few seconds before I meet his eyes.
“Stop worrying. Nothing happened. I can take care of myself. Nothing will happen.” he says and he rubs my arm reassuringly. Yeah, like that is going to ease my mind.
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do. I would never go out alone anyways. I’ll have someone watch out for me, ok?” I’m still not convinced. I don’t trust anyone with Justin. “Stop. You know you’re only going to cause yourself wrinkles by worrying so much. Your anti-aging cream will have it’s work cut out for it.” he jokes.
I know he’s trying to lighten the mood by changing the subject, it’s my method after all, to try and get me out of my current worries, but it’s not working. I hope he doesn’t plan on going out a lot, I barely get any sleep now with him being away, I won’t get any if I know he’s going out all the time and that anything can happen.
“Do you have any of that pepper spray from your Pink Posse days? It could come in handy.” I say it jokingly, but I’m completely serious.
He laughs but doesn’t answer me.
“Let go, I’ll show you around my new stomping ground.” he quickly gets up and drags me along. We get our shoes on and grab our coats an head out. As we are walking and he’s running on about the buildings and little coffee shops and whatever else he’s talking about, I start to wonder if it was such a good idea for him to come out here alone. I know it sounds stupid, even while I’m thinking it because he’s a grown man now. He’s not the 17 year old who ran away here with my credit card. But I still can’t help but get nervous about what could happen. And if something did, I wouldn’t even be here. It would take me a few hours to even get to him. New York isn’t far, but it’s far enough.
I glace over at him while we continue to walk and I think about all the times when I’ve almost lost him. I feel something a lot like dread all of a sudden. I push it aside as just my overactive thinking. This is ridiculous.
Why didn’t I just come with him? I mean, haven’t I always told everyone how much I wanted to move here? Kinnetic is doing extremely well. Maybe I should consider expanding. He would kill me if he thought I was moving here just to keep an eye on him, but if I expand Kinnetic, that wouldn’t be as obvious. Not to mention it’s smart coming from the business side of it. I’ll have to go over it with Cynthia and Ted when I get back.
We walk by an older building, it has good structure but seems run down. It almost reminds me of the loft building before it was remolded and the old bathhouse before I turned it into what it is today.
“What’s that place?” I ask, indicating the old building I was just thinking about.
“Oh that... it used to be an office building back in the 40's and has been odd businesses ever since. Nothing seemed to last though. It’s a shame really, it has great structure.” he starts going on about something else after that. Well, I’ll have to keep that place in mind.
*****
The next few days fly by. Between fucking every moment we weren’t looking for work spaces for him and him showing me some of the sights he’s seen since he’s got there, I’ve hardly gotten a moment to think. Which is good. With my new worries about Justin and all these ideas about expanding Kinnetic, I’ve needed some time to get my mind off it. But now is the time to start thinking about it again.
Leaving wasn’t as hard or as awkward as I thought it would be. No tears were shed and no goodbyes. He said that he would come to the Pitts next time, but he wasn’t going to tell me when so that he could return the surprise. Not being in control is hard, but I’ll let him surprise me I guess. He better not wait to long though, or I’ll be booking his flight for him. Fuck the surprise.
So I’m on the plane again, flying back home. I’m shocked I didn’t get too many phone calls while I was in New York. Good thing Michael’s been busy with Hunter and Ben that he doesn’t hover over me nearly half as much. And with the munchers off in Canada, I don’t get as many curious phone calls from Lindsey. It’s nice not having to dodge their phone calls anymore.
Seems this stewardess is as tired and bored with her job as the last one. This time I do get myself a glass of beam. I’m going to need it going back to the Pitts. I sit back in my seat and revisit my few days with Justin. I wonder if it will get easier leaving him the more times I have to. I don’t think it ever will. I’m going to make sure we expand Kinnetic, that way, I won’t have to get used to leaving him. The thought makes me smile.
“Here’s your beam, sir” the stewardess say as she hands me my drink.
“Thanks. It’s the only way to celebrate.”
“Oh, and what are you celebrating?”
“Love and expanding... cheers.” I say as I raise my glass.
“Cheers, sir” she says and she raises an imaginary glass of her own before moving to the next person.
I finish off my drink and let out a sigh. Yeah, cheers indeed.