Lois and Carolyn, thanks for the beta...you’re the greatest!
I would also like to thank everyone who previewed the chapters for me.
Chapter 4 – Anyone For Pool
Saturday Evening…(Day 55)
When Michael entered Woody’s, Emmett called out to him, quickly motioning for him to come over to join the rest of the gang at the pool table.
“Hi Em, who’s winning?” Michael quickly asked, as he approached.
“I’m not sure. I’m going to get a Cosmo, then I’ll try to figure it out,” Emmett said with a laugh. “Can I get you anything?”
“I think I’ll have a Cosmo, too,” Michael said with a sigh. “It’s been quite a day.”
Michael greeted everyone: Ted, Blake, Drew, Calvin, and Trace. Then, everyone quickly returned their attention back to the game at hand.
Trace was getting ready to take a shot. Of course, Calvin and Drew, being the true jocks in the group, were both trying to help Trace improve his technique…on the spot. They were both being real pains.
Finally, Trace decided that he had accepted as much help as he could bear, so he quickly sent both Drew and Calvin to the other side of the table, so he could take his shot in peace.
Michael couldn’t resist smiling at their antics. It reminded him of all the times that he played pool with Brian and Ben.
Beginning of flashback.
Justin stands at the pocket of the pool table, leaning slightly forward and rocking from side to side.
“Will you move your dick? I can’t concentrate,” Brian said as he’s trying to take a shot, obviously distracted by Justin’s movements.
Justin remains at the pocket, but merely turned around, now swishing his ass.
“You shouldn’t have any trouble sinking into that hole,” Emmett teased.
Brian takes the shot and the ball goes right in the pocket.
“Oh, yeah,” Justin gushes. “Good shot!”
…
“How about giving me something to aim at?” Ben suggested to Michael.
Michael positions himself at the same pocket with his mouth open wide..
Ben takes the shot and misses…as both he and Michael slightly groan. Everyone else, though, manages a laugh.
End of flashback.
Emmett returned with the drinks and handed one to Michael. He noticed the far away look in Michael’s eye.
“How are you doing, Sweetie?” Emmett asked with some concern.
“I guess I’m okay. Of course, I miss Ben…but there isn’t anything that I can do about that,” Michael pointed out with a touch of anger.
“Are things are getting better with Hunter?” Ted asked.
“Yeah, he was helping me in the store today, so we had a chance to talk,” Michael explained.
“So things are better…but, are you sure that you’re okay?” Emmett persisted, noticing the persistent far away look in Michael’s eyes.
“I’m fine. It’s just that today Hunter and I were talking about fathers,” Michael revealed.
“Fathers? Now, that’s an explosive topic,” Drew commented. “Unfortunately, we all have one of those,” he teased.
“Mine reminded me at eighteen that I had been an embarrassment to the family long enough, so it was time for me to leave Hazlehurst,” Emmett revealed. “So I moved up north…here into Yankee territory.”
“Don’t worry, Emmett, the South shall rise again!” Calvin teased, causing everyone to laugh…including Em.
“Let’s not go there,” Ted cautioned before the group tried to fight the Civil War all over again.
“All that I know is that my father was okay about my athletic stuff. He hardly ever missed a game. But when I finally came out to him and told him that I was gay, he became this raving lunatic,” Calvin pointed out. “My mother has been instrumental in getting him to calm down over the years. We’re both still working on our relationship.”
“I was lucky, my father was totally accepting of my being gay. He just told me that he wanted me to be happy. It was really great. It surprised me too. Then, I guess I’m one of the lucky ones,” Trace added. “Sort of like you Michael, Debbie has to be the greatest mom. She seems so accepting and loving no matter what you do? She even shows up in gay bars.”
“Brian used to say that not everyone can have a mother that’s as comfortable at gay bars as she is in the kitchen,” Michael pointed out.
“That’s true, he used to say that often. I heard him say it whenever we were all out together, and Debbie would simply show up at Woody’s for a late night drink with Vic,” Ted said with a laugh.
“Yeah Ma, you got to love her! She’s definitely one of kind.” Michael pointed out. “She raised me almost single handedly. Sure Uncle Vic was there too, but it was Ma, who did everything.”
“What happened to your dad?” Trace innocently asked.
“My dad was a war hero. He died in Viet Nam two weeks after I was born.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Trace said apologetically.
“No problem,” Michael said, shaking his head. Then he looked over at the table and noticed the lull. “Okay, so tell me whose turn is it?”
Emmett and Drew immediately started arguing about whose turn it was, and the prior conversation was temporarily forgotten.
Michael found a comfortable vantage point from which to watch the game and sip his drink. He thought about how much time he and Brian had spent a Woody’s over the years, just hanging out. Next he remembered how each evening would end…with Brian eyeing some hot guy and disappearing. But that had been a long time ago, for it had been quite a while since Brian had been to Woody’s.
Then he remembered all the times that he’d been here with Ben. Right now, Michael really missed them both.
Michael wished there was something he could do to make things better with Ben, but he had no ideas about how to proceed. Usually, he could rely on Brian to come up with a way to fix things. But since Sunday dinner at Debbie’s a week ago, Brian had not been returning his calls, so Michael felt totally lost.
“That was a terrible shot!” Ted teased Blake. “Where did you say that you learned to shoot pool?”
“If you must know, my dad taught me!” Blake responded proudly. “We even had a pool table in the basement and everything. My dad not only taught me how to play, but he taught all my friends as well.”
“I see, well let’s just keep that our little secret, shall we?” Ted insisted.
“Oh come on Ted, just because Blake missed the shot, is no reason to pick on him. After all, it’s very easy to be judgmental when you don’t have a pool cue in your hand,” Trace teased.
“Is that a challenge?” Ted asked. “Is there a wager attached?”
“I don’t see why not,” Calvin added. “We can take them can’t we Trace?”
“Absolutely! I think I’m finish with my practice rounds.” Trace said with bravado.
While Ted, Blake, Calvin and Trace tried to reach an accord for payment by the loser, Drew walked over to the table and proceeded to rack up the balls.
Emmett went over to stand again by Michael. He started talking to Blake again.
“So your dad taught you to play pool, huh Blake?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Blake said with a smile.
“My mom taught me,” Michael said sadly. “She taught Brian too.”
“It figures!” Ted added. “I heard that you and Brian used to do everything together.”
“That’s because Brian’s dad used to beat him all the time, so he would escape to my house,” Michael reminded them.
“I remember that I’d heard that. Something about his father not really wanting Brian to be born,” Emmett said sadly. “It must have been a miserable existence growing up like that.”
“Brian’s father was a very bitter, old man,” Michael said.
“But fortunately Brian is a better father to Gus than his father was to him,” Drew commented. “I have to admit that Gus is great kid.”
“I think that you have to credit Melanie and Lindsay for that. Brian has been just a drop-in dad. Every kid needs more than that.” Michael challenged.
“Brian may be a drop-in dad, but Gus is crazy about him…. and Justin too,” Drew added.
“I just don’t know how Brian could give up his parental rights,” Michael criticized.
“You know why Brian did it. He did it so Melanie and Lindsay and Gus could be a family,” Emmett reminded him.
“And just because Brian gave up his parental rights doesn’t mean that he stopped being a parent. Brian still supports Gus in every way.” Ted immediately said in Brian’s defense.
“I guess…”
“Besides, Brian was only supposed to be the sperm donor, remember?” Emmett pointed out. “He never knew he’d fall in love with Gus.”
“You know any man can be a father and can contribute sperm to make a baby, but it takes a special kind of man to be a dad,” Drew suggested quietly.
“What do you mean?” Michael asked with renewed curiosity.
With that question, everyone turned to glare at Michael in disbelief. Then they all just shook their heads as they remembered that some times he just didn’t get it.
“Michael, the role of a dad is pretty important. As a dad, you’re the person that you kid looks up to, to help him formulate his own ideas about what it is to be a man. You’re the protector, who keeps your family safe. You’re the provider. But as a dad, you need to be there emotionally as well,” Drew said patiently.
“Yeah, your dad teaches you to love differently than what you learn from your mother,” Calvin added.
“Mothers tend to sort of love unconditionally. I think that why we’re all closer to our moms. But it’s usually your dad, who gives you the courage to be all that you can be. He’s your cheering section when you succeed. He’s the one who teaches you how to fail without giving up. He’s the one to show you how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game. That’s a very valuable lesson to learn,” Trace commented. “Mothers are just different than fathers.”
“I would say that Gus is very lucky to have Brian and Justin in his life, on what ever level.” Ted added.
“Just think, in spite of how our dads may feel about us now, they were instrumental in teaching us how to deal in the world of men. That has got to be a lesson that we all learned very well,” Blake said with a laugh.
“My dad taught me about being successful,” Ted added.
“Teddy, I would say that’s a lesson that you’ve learned very well too.” Emmett pointed out. “We would agree that you are very successful.”
“Thank you, Em,” Ted said, lifting his bottle of water in a mock salute.
“But some dads are driven. They push their kids too hard. They’re really tough disciplinarians. Some kids don’t know if their parents even love them at all,” Blake added. “That can scar a kid for life.”
“Yes but it’s also your dad that shows you how to problem solve. He shows you how to push harder…to never give up.” A stranger’s voice added, as he was passing by.
Everyone looked up at the sound of the strange voice. At that point, the gang realized that, by now, quite a few people in Woody’s were listening in on their conversation.
“Well, that’s definitely more than showing up for birthdays and the occasional walk in the park,” Michael commented. “You know…The Brian Kinney idea of fatherhood!”
“Michael, Brian may have said those things in the past, but you have to admit he’s spent a lot of time with Gus. He and Gus have a good relationship. You have got to cut Brian some slack.” Emmett insisted. “You have got to see the truth.”
“Brian probably isn’t honoring his obligation to Gus any better than he’s honoring the one he made to me,” Michael protested.
“Not now, Michael!” Ted cautioned, not wanting to get into a discussion about all the perceived weaknesses that Michael found in Brian. Ted just wasn’t ready to listen to Michael whine. “That’s enough!”
Blake pulled Ted aside so the conversation could get back on track.
“Yeah, when you’re a part time dad, you have to feel guilty most of the time. I guess you want to make up for not being around all the time, so you spoil you kid by giving him all these gifts,” the stranger added.
Once again, everyone was still surprised how this guy was still part of their conversation.
“The experts say that fathers do this because you’re trying to make up for the fact that you aren’t the one to actually pay for things AT THE TIME the kid gets them. Oh you may pay child support, but you aren’t on the scene when someone actually buys the things the kid needs. Somehow it’s supposed to be different,” Blake explained, providing his professional expertise to the discussion.
“I didn’t know that,” Michael said sadly, thinking about a recent conversation that he had with Ben about how they needed to contribute financially to JR’s support.
Beginning of flashback.
“I notice that you got up extra early this morning,” Michael said as he reached in the refrigerator for the milk.
“I wanted to look at our budget and our finances. I’m trying to see what we might be able to do to help Melanie and Lindsay with JR. I considered what we spend monthly for our visits to Toronto or for them to fly here. I also considered what Hunter is going to need. But I think with just a little belt tightening, we can at least contribute to JR’s college fund. That’s what you do when it’s your daughter,” Ben patiently explained.
“I never thought about it. Mel and Linds were so clear that I wouldn’t have any financial responsibilities for my daughter, that I never gave it a second thought. But now that you’ve pointed this out, I see that it’s the right thing to do,” Michael revealed.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Ben said with a measure of satisfaction that Michael was beginning to understand about responsibility.
“But it doesn’t change the fact that I think they should move back here to live,” Michael continued to state, lest Ben misunderstand his intention.
“I know that. I understand how you feel. You just shouldn’t say anything about your feelings to Melanie and Lindsay,” Ben reminded him one more time.
“I know you’re right,” Michael said with a sigh.
Ben was still hopeful that Michael wouldn’t disturb the delicate balance that existed between the family and Lindsay and Melanie.
End of flashback.
Michael was pulled from his reminiscences, as he realized that Blake was taking to him.
“Don’t worry about it, Michael, you get to be the kind of dad to your daughter that you would have wanted your father to be for you. You get a chance to do it right.” Blake reminded him.
“And look at how you are with Hunter. You’re a great dad to him. He really loves you. He loves you enough to come all the way back to town just because you were hurt,” Emmett reminded him.
“And he stayed after you were well again,” Ted reminded him.
“So don’t be sad, Michael, you still have so much.” Trace said as a way of support.
Michael took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. He was starting to understand all the things that he had missed in his life because he didn’t have a father.
For the first time in his life, Michael was angry with his dad for not being there. His life could have been different if only his dad had been around all those years.
As if reading his thoughts, Emmett had one more bit to add, “You know it wasn’t only our dads that taught us all those things. We all got to share Vic with you for a time. And Vic was an amazing man. He definitely showed us all how to be a proud gay men. I know Vic made a big difference in my life.”
“Mime too,” Michael finally acknowledged.
Drew decided it was time to change the subject. “Okay, the balls are racked up, are you four going to play pool or what?”
“Yes, because I, for one, would like to get to Babylon before it closes,” Ted teased. “I have a very demanding boss, who would never understand that I didn’t get there because of a protracted negotiation her at Woody’s, pertaining to a pick up game,” he added.
“Yes, and we don’t want to give Brian any other reasons to fire you…. like he needs one,” Blake teased.
“You could just tell Brian that you needed a night to yourself, “Michael suggested.
Ted put his hands on his hips. “We obviously aren’t talking about the same Brian Kinney. The one I work for believes that allowing time for breathing is a luxury…he expects his impossible deadlines met,” Ted teased. “Of course, I will admit that Brian is a lot easier to deal with now that Justin is around.”
“I have to agree that Justin does make Brian seem a lot more human,” Drew added.
“Maybe…” Michael finally added. “Look, I don’t suppose that I could convince you to skip that game until next time. I was thinking that we could check out Babylon early.”
“I’m sure that can be arranged,” Trace said, finally returning his cue stick to the rack.
“Okay, Michael,” Calvin said, retrieving the cue stick from Ted and putting both sticks away. “Why don’t we see if we can get Ted to work?” he added with a laugh.
“Another time,” Blake said as he wrapped his arms around Ted.
“Another time,” Trace said with a laugh, wrapping his arms around Calvin.
Everyone gathered up their things…it was time to go to Babylon.