Lois and Carolyn, thanks for the beta...you’re the greatest!
Author's Comments: I guess I should warn you that this story is winding down, and there are only a few more chapters left to this story. Don't worry I'm working on a sequel. (smile)
Chapter 72 – A Cold Wind Blowing Later Sunday Afternoon… (Day 49) Lindsay and Melanie helped Debbie to clear the table and put the food away before they made their way upstairs. When they reached the sanctity of the guest bedroom, Lindsay collapsed on the bed. Melanie just stood at the foot of the bed looking at her partner. “That was some dinner,” Lindsay said innocently. “Yes, I’d have to agree with you there,” Melanie responded calmly, although calm was very far from what she was feeling at the moment. “I wonder what on earth is going on with Brian. He just wasn’t himself today,” Lindsay pointed out. “What do you mean?” Melanie felt compelled to ask. “What we saw today was classic Brian.” “How can you say that? He was disagreeable and argumentative…that’s not Brian,” Lindsay was quick to defend her position with a shake of her head. Melanie felt the pressing need to interrupt this fantasy, “That is precisely the Brian that I know, and remember that I’ve been sparring with him for years,” Melanie reminded her definitively. Then she softened her tone a bit before she continued. “Maybe to you, though, he seemed really changed,” she added, trying her best to be supportive. “Maybe…” Melanie continued almost as if talking to herself, “Although he did make it clear that he wouldn’t tolerate certain things anymore,” she said as an afterthought. “I know. I heard him.” “I thought that you understood what that meant…you said you understood…you tried to explain things to Michael…you even told Elizabeth that you understood Brian’s decision,” Melanie began to recount, using the fingers of her left hand to keep track. “What the fuck happened?” “What’s the problem, I accept the legal union between Brian and Justin. I really do think that it’s wonderful,” Lindsay gushed. “You could have fooled me,” Melanie retorted. “Then what on earth were you and Michael trying to accomplish here today?” she challenged. “Things seemed different at the table today. And when the issue of Justin returning to New York came up, all I did was state my opinion…” Lindsay said emphatically. “Your opinion…did anyone ask for your opinion?” “No one had to ask. I’ve always told Brian what I thought,” Lindsay said self-righteously. “You know, I thought that we were making progress…you and me. We’ve spent all this time talking to each other…we’ve spent all this time seeing Elizabeth…you’ve told me about all these things that you understand now, which you didn’t see before. Pray tell me, what the fuck have we been doing?” Melanie said, revealing her anger. “What are you trying to say?” “Ever since I’ve known you, Brian and I have been sparring with each other. Now, it’s probably true that we both enjoy it more than either of us wants to admit, but I always thought that HE was the one holding on to the past. I always thought that he wouldn’t let YOU go so that you could lead your own life apart from him. All these years, I’ve always thought that Brian WAS the problem.” “That’s true. Brian relies on me to help him sort out his life. He always has, ever since we were in college. That’s never going to change,” Lindsay calmly explained. “What I see is that you and Michael are the ones holding on. Brian probably always has been able to manage his life…but you and Michael over the years have created enough doubt that Brian second guesses everything he does on a personal level. He loves you both and respects your opinion, so what do you do? You make him think that he can’t function without you…that he needs you…you and Michael have tried to make him into an emotional cripple.” “Brian IS an emotional cripple. If it hadn’t been for Michael and me, Brian wouldn’t have made it this far. You know what his childhood was like.” “Ancient history, Lindsay. What I see are two people trying to keep Brian tied to them. As long as he was the Stud of Liberty Avenue, your position in his life was secure. Let’s face it, no trick could ever be a threat to you. Why don’t you just admit that you don’t want to share Brian… not with Gus…not with Justin? But you want to keep the childlike-Michael in his life because compared to Michael’s whining, you look like a better friend. Now, isn’t that really what’s going on, Lindsay?” “That’s a terrible thing to think. How can you say such a thing?” “Look at the evidence. I’m an attorney, Lindsay. I deal in facts. I don’t know how to deal in that fantasy world where you choose to reside.” “I thought you were going to give me time to deal with things?” Lindsay fired back. “You must know how hard this weekend has been for me. I thought you understood my grief.” “Oh, I understand, Lindsay. I wish to God that I didn’t. I’m thinking that Brian’s new status might be a little difficult for you. I’m thinking that you’re really trying to cope.” “I am!” Lindsay professed emphatically. “No Lindsay, what happened is you saw Brian slipping away.” “No!” “And you just couldn’t stand it. Somehow you only seem happy when Brian and I are at odds with each other over you. Then you can step in and be the savior-queen and restore the peace. The fact that I’m in love with you and that Brian loves you too…somehow seems to make up for the love and caring you missed from your parents.” “When did you start to play amateur psychologist?” “I don’t have to be an amateur anything. It’s all right there in front of my face. You can’t stop loving Brian…not because he won’t let you. You can’t stop loving Brian because you don’t want to. You cling to that love like it’s a life raft. Well, Lindsay you’re going to have to find another anchor for your life. You can’t have Brian!” “No!” “I’m tired of sugar coating things for you. After the stunt that you and Michael pulled at dinner today…both of you may have lost Brian for good. He’s made it clear that he wouldn’t put up with any bullshit, but you and Michael just couldn’t leave well enough alone. What is wrong with you?” “I know he said it, but he didn’t mean it,” Lindsay said with a pout. “Lindsay, think back to everything that you know about Brian Kinney...open that Brian Kinney Operating Manual that you and Michael are so fond of referring to. There is one thing that we all know about Brian. He says what he means, and he means what he says…except when talking to Justin because they’ve always talked in some kind of code that the rest of us can’t begin to understand. But for the rest of us, Brian doesn’t do bullshit. He talks straight. Fuck, even I know this.” “So what are you trying to say?” Lindsay asked, with tears now streaming down her cheeks. “We’ve been together for almost 12 years…I thought that we loved each other…we built a life together… had a ceremony to symbolize our commitment…but what did that all mean? Why did we even bother?’ “How can you ask me that when you know that I love you?” “Do you, Lindsay? Think about it. At this moment, we’re falling apart, and all you can do is sit there and cry over Brian Kinney. What does that tell you?” Melanie said quietly. Lindsay sat there in complete shock for a moment. Then she covered her eyes with both her hands, as she continued to cry. Lindsay stayed like that, waiting to feel the supportive arms of her partner around her to try and comfort her. But when that didn’t happen, Lindsay had to look up again…she found that she was now in the room alone. *** Ben and Hunter helped Drew and Emmett return the living room/dining room to its usual arrangement. Everyone kept the conversation light, as they chatted easily with each other, but there was a certain underlying tension in the room. Afterwards, Ben announced that he was going outside to get a breath of fresh air. He exited the back door and settled on the back steps, staring off into space. Ben might have hoped that answers were carried on the wind, but as he waited and no answers came, he then struggled to find his sense of inner peace. When Ben could find neither answers nor peace, he finally stood up to get ready to go back inside. As he turned, he came face to face with Hunter, who had just come outside to join him. “What’s up?” Hunter asked, trying to lighten the moment. “What are you doing out here?” Ben asked with a smile. “Oh I don’t know...” Hunter responded with his usual attitude and a shrug. Ben just shook his head and smiled. Then Hunter walked over and wrapped his arms around Ben. Hunter didn’t say anything; he just stood there holding Ben. Ben quickly returned the hug. Finally Hunter whispered a simple, “I love you.” “I love you too, buddy.” When they finally broke apart, Hunter turned to go back inside. Just before he re-entered the house, he cast one more loving glance over his shoulder at Ben. And then once again, Ben was alone with his thoughts. *** Jennifer hugged Debbie, and told her to call if she needed anything. Debbie was comforted by her offer of support. Molly and Debbie hugged each other goodbye. Then Jennifer and Molly left Debbie’s a little earlier than usual so that they could get things ready for Molly’s next day of school. Their unplanned, extended weekend stay at the mansion provided the perfect explanation for their departure. Once in the car, Molly and Jennifer were initially quiet as they drove away from the house. But with a teenager in the car, the silence didn’t last too long. “Mom, what’s going on with Michael and Lindsay?” Molly had to ask. “What do you mean, dear?” Jennifer asked, without taking her eyes off the road. She had originally hoped that Molly wouldn’t ask any questions about the discussion that happened at the dinner table, but based on her daughter’s question, she now knew that particular hope was unrealistic. “They were just upset, dear. They just…” Jennifer said, trying to find a way to explain things that she really didn’t want to discuss with her teenage daughter. “I don’t get it,” Molly interrupted. “Lindsay seemed so sweet yesterday, but today she seemed different. I wonder what happened to her. I thought that she was Brian’s friend. Listening to her today, she didn’t seem very much like a friend to me. Even I was ready to deck her.” Jennifer reacted with alarm, almost slamming on her brakes. “What?” “Well, she was being mean to Brian,” Molly pointed out, as if that should explain everything. Jennifer couldn’t resist looking over at here daughter. When she did, she noticed the intensity of her expression and the set of her jaw. At that point, Jennifer couldn’t help it. She had to smile. Then she had to ask, “And when did you, my darling daughter, become Brian’s champion?” “I like Brian, Mom. He’s always been nice to me. And now we’re family so I don’t want anyone to hurt him,” Molly professed with a determined tone. “Molly, I promise you, that Brian can take care of himself. And I also promise you that Justin will take care of Brian.” “I know that, but now he has me too.” “Look, I understand how you feel about Brian, but I want you to stay out of what’s going on in the family. Let Justin and Brian handle things. Do I make myself clear?” “Don’t worry. I won’t DO anything. Thank goodness, Justin got Gus and Nicky out of the room so quickly. “ “So you noticed that too, did you?” “Who could miss it?” Molly said, making it clear that she missed nothing. “Yes,” Jennifer said with a smile, “Who could miss that?” “It’s a good thing that Justin had to take care of Gus and Nicky, because I could see that he was furious. Everyone seems to forget how much trouble my brother can be…I think it’s his boyish looks and the blond hair that’s so deceptive. Of course, we know how much trouble he can be though, don’t we, Mom?” Molly said with a laugh. “Oh, yeah,” Jennifer added with a laugh of her own, “Don’t we know?” *** Emmett and Drew left immediately after helping to replace the furniture. They decided to spend some time together at Drew’s house. Ted and Blake decided to make it an early evening too. Ted knew that tomorrow was going to be a difficult day, so he was already thinking of things he needed to do at the office tomorrow to make things easier for Brian. Carl settled once again in his favorite chair with Jenny Rebecca on his lap, and Gus nestled in beside him. Hunter was sitting on the arm of the chair, playing with both Jenny and Gus. Michael and Debbie were alone in the kitchen. Debbie was doing her best to keep herself totally busy so that she didn’t have to talk to Michael. Unfortunately, her son had other plans. “Ma, are you going to say anything?” Michael asked, using his little boy voice. “I don’t think there’s anything left to say. I think that you managed to say everything earlier. Just so you know, Brian is really pissed at you right now, and this time, even I have to admit that he has a good reason.” “How can you say that? Look at what Brian did to me! I’m still waiting for his apology,” Michael asserted righteously. “His apology…for what? All Brian did was go after his own happiness…just like you did with Ben. What on earth does he need to apologize for?” “Brian made promises to me...a long time ago. He can’t just walk away from those promises like they never existed. He owes me for all the years I’ve been waiting.” “Michael, those childhood promises no longer matter. What’s done is done. It’s over. It’s in the past. Your little fantasy is never going to happen.” “You don’t know that,” Michael challenged arrogantly. “Will you get your head out of your ass? You have bigger problems to deal with…like, what you’re going to do about Ben?” For even if the others had failed to notice, Debbie was acutely aware of Ben’s growing frustration. “I don’t have to do anything about Ben. He understands all about Brian…he always has.” “That’s because he never knew the WHOLE truth…did he, Michael? You may have managed to hide your true feelings about Brian until now, but I think Ben’s got a new perspective on things after what he heard today.” Debbie couldn’t help shaking her own head, as if she were trying to dispel a distasteful image. Finally she whispered, “All you had to do was simply wish Brian and Justin well,” she reminded him. “Brian’s my best friend…” “But are you his?” Debbie asked pointedly, trying to get her son to think about things. Without even a moment of hesitation, Michael fired back in anger, “How dare you take his side? You’re my mother. How about thinking about me for a change?” He paused to allow time for Debbie’s usual apology, which usually happened at about this time in situations like this. When none came, Michael continued his rant, “That’s ok…Brian will eventually come around,” he added confidently. “Come around to what, Michael?” Both Michael and Debbie froze at the sound Ben’s voice. “Michael, I asked you a question,” Ben continued to press. “What do you expect Brian to come around to? If you’re waiting for him to end things with Justin,” he said, and then some thing made him laugh. “Hell will probably freeze over before that happens. Brian loves Justin…he’s showed that so clearly. In fact, he doesn’t just love him…he’s totally and completely IN LOVE with him and totally COMMITTED to him. I admit, it took Brian a long time to get here, but knowing Brian as well as you do, you must know that he would never take a legal step with Justin unless he was sure about what he was doing. So what is it…exactly… that you’re waiting for Brian to come around to?” he asked, now leaning against the kitchen cabinet, patiently waiting for an answer from his partner. Michael simply lowered his eyes. He had no real answer. Debbie, too, was silent. Ben continued looking at them both. When no one said anything, Ben continued, “I’m waiting,” he said patiently, reminding everyone that he expected an answer. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Michael said. “I need some time.” “I see,” Ben answered softly, finally moving towards the living room. When he stopped, he simply said, “Well…I think I’m going to take Hunter home. After all, tomorrow is a school day, and I’ll bet he still has homework to finish.” Michael and Debbie still didn’t say anything. Ben started walking out of the kitchen. “I guess… I’ll see you at home,” he whispered. Michael just nodded. Ben nudged Hunter from his comfortable spot near Carl. Hunter had been tickling Jenny Rebecca, and the little girl and Gus were both laughing now. Melanie came down stairs at just that moment. “That’s what I like to see…both my kids totally happy,” she added with a smile. This was a moment that Melanie wanted to remember. Ben could see a sadness pass over her, as he and Melanie looked at each other and exchanged knowing glances…a moment of perfect understanding passed between them “Melanie,” Ben said, reaching over to hug her, “Hunter and I are getting ready to leave. You and Lindsay and the kids have a safe trip back to Toronto. And remember, we’re only a phone call away.” “I’ll remember that,” Melanie whispered. “But I want you to remember the same thing,” she added, giving Ben another hug. “And Hunter, try to stay out of trouble…at least until I can get back here,” she teased. “I’m innocent, Melanie…as my attorney, you should know that by now,” he quipped back with a smile. “I’ll see you next month,” he added with a laugh. Melanie simply nodded her head yes. Ben said his goodbyes to Carl and Jenny and Gus. And then he and Hunter were gone. *** In the SUV heading towards the Pittsburgh Airport were Brian and Justin, along with Paul, Jason, and Nicky. “Brian, it isn’t necessary to drive to us to the airport,” Jason insisted. “Why, is there somewhere else you’d like to go?” Brian asked with a laugh. “Back to the mansion…we’re not leaving. We’ve decided to stay over. We’ll leave in the morning. I’m sure we can arrange for a limo to the airport, ” Jason suggested. “Or, maybe we’ll stay a few more days…” Paul added. “I appreciate the gesture, but it really isn’t necessary,” Brian insisted, “I’m fine.” “Fine?” Jason challenged. “Absolutely fabulous!” Brian added in his indomitable manner. “It’s really no trouble, you know,” Paul added. “You know how much you and Justin mean to us. We just want to be here for you.” “Thanks,” Brian said with a smile. “I really do know that.” Justin merely leaned forward and ran his fingers through Brian’s hair. No words were exchanged between them, but Brian leaned into to his touch. Justin gently let his hand slide down to Brian’s neck, and Brian reached up and placed one of his hands over Justin’s. They lingered like that for just a moment. Then Brian smiled and said, “Let’s get you to the airport. Then, how about we grab a beer before you have to leave? How does that sound?” “I can go for that,” Paul agreed. “Me too?” Nicky chimed in, not wanting to be left out of anything. “Nicky, I think, you and I should limit ourselves to Root Beer,” Justin teased. Nicky cheered and then started to giggle, and everyone else couldn’t help laughing too. Finally, the SUV took the approaching exit for the airport.