Lois and Carolyn, thanks for the beta…you’re the greatest! Author’s Comments: I realize that it’s been awhile since there have been new chapters from me, and I apologize for all the delays. Hopefully, I can quickly get back to my usual posting frequency as soon as possible. Thanks to everyone for your kind words. *** It has only been about 24 hours since Lindsay and Melanie had their last counseling session. If you will remember, their counselor requested this additional session after hearing that Melanie and Lindsay were to be invited guest for lunch at the mansion with Brian and Justin. This session begins immediately after the events in Chapters 55 – 67 of Between Now And Then.
Chapter 2 – Session 6 Early Sunday Morning ... (Day 49) Elizabeth Bradshaw had arrived early to her office and had already had her first cup of coffee. Dressed more casually than usual, she took a moment to relax and gather her thoughts. She wanted to have enough time to review her notes from yesterday’s session with Melanie and Lindsay before today’s session got started. It was unusual for Elizabeth to insist on another counseling session…on a Sunday…within twenty four hours of a previous session, but she felt strongly that she would be remiss in her duties if the couple had to return to Toronto without having a chance to share their feelings with one another about whatever transpired at the mansion with a newly united Brian and Justin. How Lindsay would react to being in the house that had figured so prominently in her dreams and fantasies for the last year? What about Melanie? Elizabeth had to wonder how Melanie was reacting to everything. Would Melanie continue to be a loving partner to Lindsay, as Lindsay tried to come to terms with everything changing in her world? At the same time Elizabeth didn’t want to over-react. But try as she might, she found that she was unable to believe that yesterday, Melanie and Lindsay simply experienced a simple luncheon with old friends. Before Elizabeth could continue this line of reasoning, she heard Lindsay and Melanie arrive in her outer office. Things were about to begin. Elizabeth took a deep breath for courage and prepared to open to the door to her waiting room. As she opened the door, Elizabeth took a moment to size up the waiting couple, who seemed totally relaxed and eagerly waiting to meet with her. Elizabeth simply smiled a hopeful smile. “Good morning, Lindsay, Melanie,” Elizabeth said as she opened the door to greet them. “Thanks for coming this morning. I’m glad that you’re both here. Why don’t you come in so we can get started?” Both Melanie and Lindsay smiled as they returned her greeting. Melanie and Lindsay reached for each other’s hands as they followed Elizabeth into her office. Once there, they made themselves comfortable in their usual side-by-side seats. “When we met yesterday, both of you were looking forward to your luncheon with Brian and Justin at the mansion. How did it go?” Elizabeth began quietly. “You have no idea,” Melanie volunteered. “It was definitely a day to remember,” she added with a smile. Lindsay also broke into a big smile. “We had a wonderful time at the mansion yesterday, didn’t we, Melanie? Our friends were there so we had a chance to just relax and spend time with everyone. I can’t remember when I’ve had so much fun,” Lindsay explained. “So Brian and Justin made you feel welcome?” Elizabeth needed to ask. “We were at the mansion until late evening. We stayed for lunch and dinner too,” Melanie pointed out. Elizabeth was pleasantly surprised. “So tell me about the mansion,” Elizabeth inquired, showing a bit of feminine curiosity. “The mansion is beautiful. It’s large and expansive and sits on a beautiful estate. It’s the perfect metaphor for Brian’s love for Justin. Brian used to live in open, expansive spaces with stark, clean lines…like the loft. Yet Brian openly admits that the mansion feels like home…like it’s a place that he can completely relax. I’ve never heard him talk like that before,” Lindsay pointed out. “It’s big on the outside, but it’s warm and friendly on the inside. It even has a name…Bri-tin. Leave it to Brian and Justin to name their home,” Melanie added with a laugh. “And it really is home for both of them…and for Gus.” “Gus?” Elizabeth asked. “Our son has his own room at the mansion, as well as a special guest room for when he has overnight guests. Leave it to Justin to think of everything,” Melanie added with a laugh. Lindsay too shared in the laugh. Then she became quiet. As the silence continued, Melanie felt the need to talk to Lindsay. “I know a house, like the mansion, has always been the home of your dreams. I got in so late last night that I didn’t have a chance to ask you how you’re dealing with everything,” she added sympathetically. “That was supposed to be my line,” Elizabeth reminded them jokingly. Her remark seemed to lighten the air in the room just a little. Lindsay tried to smile. “You know I think I’m ok. I’ll admit that I was hurt that Brian would make a decision as big as this, without calling and discussing it with me first. I’m so used to us talking about everything and used to him listening to my opinions. This is a big change in our relationship,” Lindsay pointed out. “Certainly after what you saw this weekend, you must realize that Brian is unlikely to continue consulting with you on the major decisions of his life,” Melanie pointed out. “I think that he has made that abundantly clear,” Lindsay responded. “Just because he no longer consults with you, it doesn’t mean that Brian no longer loves you. You do realize that, don’t you?” Melanie pointed out. “Brian said as much when we talked at the mansion,” Lindsay added. “Are you going to be ok with that?” Melanie asked. Lindsay took a few moments to consider the question before she responded, “I will admit that this is all going to take some getting used to, but I think I’m handling things pretty well. I’m definitely handling things better than Michael so even though Brian and Justin didn’t talk to me about their decision, I can honestly say that I’m truly happy for both of them,” she acknowledged. “That’s a good start,” Elizabeth suggested. Lindsay continued, “Michael on the other hand…” “What about Michael?” Melanie asked…although she could pretty much guess at the answer. “Michael seems to feel as if his dreams of a lifetime have been betrayed. He feels that Justin has now, what by right should have been his,” Lindsay explained. “Haven’t you been feeling the same way?” Elizabeth asked. “I fully realize that Brian, for me, was just a fantasy. Watching Michael last night, I realized how lucky I am to have Melanie and the kids and our life together. This is real. I really do know the difference,” Lindsay continued to explain to Elizabeth. “I see,” Elizabeth cautiously commented. “But are we enough for you?” Melanie asked pointedly. “Can the kids and I make you truly happy? I know that you still envision a life of glamour. You were talking about studying this summer in Paris as late as yesterday. What about all the things you wanted out of life since you were a little girl?” she continued to ask. “This weekend showed me so much. It showed me that life is about choices. Brian and Justin made a decision to be together. You and I made the decision to not waste our lives. We made the decision to be together. I’ve never regretted that decision. I really do love you, Melanie.” “Well, that’s good to hear,” Melanie said simply. “You know that I love you too.” “I do know that. I will admit that, on occasion, I have been jealous of Justin, especially his talent. Sometimes it’s so hard to sit on the sidelines and watch someone so young, be so talented. But as I looked at the latest pieces that he’s created, I really do understand that Justin has a remarkable talent. I see it. I admit it. I’m trying now to come to terms with it. My career in art needs to take a different path,” Lindsay admitted quietly. “But Justin has asked you to be a part of his success. That really is quite an honor,” Melanie reminded her. “I know, and I’m really thrilled to be asked to help him set up for his show,” Lindsay replied. “Acceptance of everything else will have to come in time.” “Time is a great healer,” Elizabeth reminded her. “Lindsay, I think that you have the right attitude and at least a strategy in mind.” Elizabeth then turned her attention to a pensive Melanie. She found that she had to ask, “Melanie what are you thinking about what you’ve heard?” “I really want Lindsay to be happy. I will admit that there are times that I’m not sure her happiness lies with me. I’m not sure this relationship is ever really going to be enough for her. There are times that I think that she has settled for what we have…because she knew she could never have Brian. Now that he is truly out of reach…once again she is ready to focus on us. I don’t think it’s conscious, but I do think it’s there,” Melanie admitted. “I don’t know what to say to show you that you’re wrong. I guess I’ll have to show you how I feel. Maybe in time you’ll believe me,” Lindsay said, reaching over to gently touch Melanie’s cheek. “Maybe…” Melanie said quietly. Melanie and Lindsay looked at each other. Elizabeth allowed the silence between the two women to linger for a few moments. “Is there anything else about yesterday that you two would like to discuss?” Elizabeth finally asked. Lindsay was silent for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “You should have seen the wonderful painting that Justin gave Gus? It was a painting of Gus and Brian horseback riding together. I don’t know why Justin wasn’t happy with a simple photograph. I’ll never know what on earth possessed him to spend the time on a painting,” Lindsay revealed, “Especially when he as so many shows coming up.” “As Justin told us, Gus and Brian riding together was too momentous an occasion to simply capture it on film. At least now we all know that Brian can truly ride. We can no longer challenge his horseback riding ability,” Melanie said with a laugh, “Especially since we’ve seen the painting, and because we actually witnessed for ourselves Gus and Brian during their riding lesson.” “So you got to see Gus and Brian riding together? That’s wonderful,” Elizabeth commented. “It would be if that was all there was to it,” Lindsay responded. “What do you mean?” Elizabeth asked. “As you know, Justin is a magnificent painter…” Lindsay quickly pointed out. “I believe that you’ve mentioned that on several occasions,” Elizabeth quickly responded, trying to wonder what the problem was. “Justin’s paintings are worth a fortune,” Lindsay continued. “So I’ve heard…” Elizabeth responded with a sigh, still wondering where this was going. “Evidently, Justin had agreed to do a painting for Gus’ room. Justin doesn’t do a simple painting of cartoon characters that a child would enjoy…no…he created a masterpiece. Justin gave a gallery quality painting to a six year old. What was he thinking?” Lindsay had to ask. “Justin doesn’t think like that. He simply painted a picture that he thought Gus would like. Obviously Gus loved the painting. He couldn’t wait to tell us all about it. He even took great pains all day to remind us that this was HIS painting,” Melanie couldn’t resist laughing, as she relayed the events. “Melanie, the painting is a masterpiece. Did you notice how much Justin’s talent has grown over the last year? I can’t believe Justin gave Gus a painting of his very own,” Lindsay continued shaking her head. “It’s got to be worth a fortune!” “I’m sure it is, but you know that isn’t why Justin gave it to Gus,” Melanie commented. “I can’t believe that Brian didn’t stop him. It’s too much!” Lindsay added emphatically. “There must be more to it than that. Why does the painting bother you so?” Elizabeth had to ask. “Justin gives Gus a painting…supposedly for his bedroom. Gus decided he liked his painting in the living room. Don’t you see the problem?” Lindsay asked, as if the facts should be clear to everyone. “I’m afraid not,” Elizabeth responded, “So why don’t you tell me about it?” “Yeah, tell me too…’cause I don’t see the problem either,” Melanie added haltingly. Lindsay let out a long suffering sigh. “You have to see it. It’s so plain.” Lindsay responded. Melanie and Elizabeth looked at each other without saying a word. They both were patiently waiting to hear Lindsay’s concerns. Finally, Lindsay realized that she was going to have to spell things out. “Gus had HIS painting placed over the fireplace. He didn’t ask Brian to hang it in his room. He didn’t ask that the painting be shipped home so we could hang in his room in Toronto. Don’t you see? Gus thinks of the mansion as home. You know how he already feels about Justin. The fact that he was willing to place HIS painting in the living room at the mansion…Gus must believe, he’s going to be spending a lot of time there,” Lindsay explained, as if she were relating the obvious. “This is a problem…how?” Melanie asked. “I’m afraid Gus will decide he likes living in a mansion. I’m afraid he’ll start to compare spending time with Brian and Justin to living with us. I’m afraid that we won’t be enough for him anymore.” Lindsay related, with tears starting to fall down her face. “I think we may have lost him,” she added sadly. “Are you saying that Gus wasn’t happy to see you?” Elizabeth asked. “No, in fact, he seemed thrilled that Melanie and I were there. He took great pains to show us everything, especially his room and his own art work,” Lindsay continued. “But he’s so confident and comfortable with Brian and Justin. I noticed it when they were riding together. You’ve got to admit, the mansion has got to be a wonderful place when you’re a kid. We don’t have anything like that to offer in Toronto,” she finally admitted. Melanie couldn’t sit quiet any longer. “Lindsay honey, at six-years old, all Gus knows, is that Brian and Justin love him. If you’ll remember, Gus has spent most of this time traveling with Brian and Justin. He’s only been at the mansion periodically. So believe me, Gus is totally unaffected by the things that they have to offer. Gus is just happy to spend time with Brian and Justin. Now I will admit, Gus is hopelessly in love with Justin…but then you’ve known about that since day one,” Melanie pointed out with a smile. “You think I’m being unreasonable?” Lindsay asked with a forced laugh. “I wouldn’t say that exactly,” Melanie said haltingly, “But I have to admit, that the particular shade of green that you’ve taken to wearing lately…doesn’t become you,” Melanie said sternly. “What are you trying to say?” Lindsay asked with a pout. “I don’t think that I’m trying to say anything. Why don’t you just admit that you’re jealous?” Melanie suggested. “Jealous! Me? What would make you think that?” Lindsay replied, starting to ramble in between laughs. “You can go ahead and admit that Justin is a constant threat to your happiness. First he got Brian! Now he’s got Gus too. Where does it end?” Melanie added sarcastically, throwing her hands in the air for emphasis. “I’m just not ready to lose my baby,” Lindsay replied. “Careful Lindsay, don’t suddenly start to clutch Gus too tightly because you must put aside your dreams about Brian,” Melanie said, cutting right to the core of things, “I won’t allow you to start to smother our son. Brian made a lifetime commitment to Justin…I know that this is hard for you. You’ve had these dreams for such a long time. But, don’t make Gus suffer because his father chose to be with someone else,” she insisted. “I love Gus. I would never …” Lindsay finally said with a sigh. “You’re starting to sound like Michael,” Melanie said quietly. “Oh please, not that. I never believed that Brian and I…” Lindsay began and then she paused. “You don’t have to be so cruel. I’m not Michael, you know,” Lindsay protested. “What is that supposed to mean?” Melanie asked. “Michael is having a hard time accepting Brian’s decision to be with Justin. He could lose Ben if he doesn’t come to his senses soon,” Lindsay rambled. “What are you talking about?” Melanie asked. “All these years, Michael figured that by the time Ben died, Brian would be ready to settle down in a relationship with him. That way he wouldn’t have to spend his golden years alone. Michael had a contingency plan in place for when Ben died. Ben is furious!” Lindsay revealed. “Don’t you think he has a right to be?” Melanie protested. “I know…we all know that Michael loves Ben, but to have planned out what he was going to do to insure his own happiness when his partner is dead…is really just too much. Surely, you see that!” “Of course, I do. What Michael has been doing is horrible!” Lindsay confirmed. “Don’t you see that you were almost doing the same thing?” Melanie pointed out. “As Michael and I were talking lately, I do have to admit that he and I have certain things in common. But at least I see clearly the mistakes that I’ve made over the years. I know there have been times that I’ve been a real bitch to you. I’m just glad that we’re still together. I really do love you Melanie. You’re really who I’ve always wanted to grow old with…I’ve even told Brian that many times over the years, but still I have a lot to make up for with you,” Lindsay quietly admitted. Melanie didn’t say anything. Elizabeth finally found her voice. “Well Melanie, tell me what you’re thinking? How do you feel about what Lindsay’s just said?” “I understand that these are difficult times for her. I’m glad that she told me how she feels….the good and the not so good. I know that she’s probably always going to have feeling for Brian. I know that. I’ve always known that. But I will admit it’s good to know that she loves me and truly wants to be with me. I’ve always wondered if this relationship…what we have… was ever going to be enough for her. We’ve both had opportunities to leave…but we both want to be together. We’re just going to have to work through all the rest.” Melanie reiterated. “I’m glad to hear you say that. You don’t know how much I want things to continue to get better between us,” Lindsay added. “Me too... I just don’t want you to try to smother Gus to make up for your imaginary loss of Brian. Gus is presently doing very well with his four parents. He really does love us, you know. Besides, we still have Jenny to spoil for several more years. And we still have another 12 years before we lose Gus completely and he moves away to go to college. In the meantime, we need to enjoy our kids and each other,” Melanie reminded her. “We’re definitely very lucky to have friends and family, who love us. We have all this support, and we have so many plans still to make. I’m really looking forward to the future…with you,” Lindsay said. Elizabeth felt the time was right for her to again step into the conversion. ”I’m glad that you two can still talk about your feelings. Lindsay, I realize that you’re on an emotional roller coaster right now. Give yourself a little time to adjust to all these changes. But I do think that it’s good that you and Melanie can talk things over.” “I want us to keep on talking,” Lindsay reiterated to her partner. “And Gus?” Melanie asked. “You’re right, Gus needs to spend time with us…and time with Brian and Justin. He is thriving, and I want that to continue. I just miss my little boy. I just hope that Brian doesn’t get too busy to pay attention to him,” Lindsay said on reflection. “We’ll have to make sure that Gus is ok with things. Brian is bound to get busy from time to time. We just have to make sure that Gus understands and knows that he’s loved,” Melanie suggested. “Well our time is almost up. I just wanted to be sure that the two of you are ok,” Elizabeth suggested, needing to make a reality check before she ended this session and allowed the couple to leave. “Believe me, Elizabeth, we’re going to be fine. We realize that we still have some issues so we’ll keep talking to each other and try to work on things. We’ll see you in a month,” Lindsay said “And if things get too difficult for us, we know that we can always call you, and we definitely promise to do that,” Melanie added. “I, too, can promise that we will definitely do that,” Lindsay added. “So I will see you two next month,” Elizabeth said. And with that Lindsay and Melanie quietly left Elizabeth’s office. As they were leaving, Melanie suggested that they stop for coffee before returning to Debbie’s. Lindsay agreed for they still had some talking to do, even though they had made progress during the session with Elizabeth. Melanie and Lindsay made their way to the coffee shop nearby and settled in at a table. Their coffee was ordered and cheerfully brought to their table by their waitress. During their discussions over coffee, Melanie reminded Lindsay of how many people were going to be at Debbie’s this afternoon for dinner. The two of them shared a laugh at the possible chaos that was about to ensue. As they drank their coffee, Melanie and Lindsay realized that they could hardly wait.
Author’s Comments: Lindsay and Melanie rejoin Between Now And Then, Chapter 68. We will return to this story, when Lindsay and Melanie attend future sessions.