Lois and Carolyn, thanks for the beta...you’re the greatest!
Chapter 53 – Secrets Revealed Late Friday Night…(Day 47) Brian, Justin, Paul and Jason all spent time tucking in Gus and Nicky for the night. Gus and Nicky kept pleading for another story or a drink of water or anything to keep from going to sleep. But as Justin climbed on the bed with Gus and Brian climbed on the bed with Nicky, the kids finally gave up resisting and fell asleep. Justin made sure that the monitor, installed in the kids’ guest room, and its receiving unit, in the master bedroom, was turned on. Then the adults left the sleeping beauties, quietly tiptoeing of out of the room. Paul decided that they’d had a very long day, so in the hallway, he announced that he and Jason were going to turn in for the night. They said their goodnights to Brian and Justin. Brian and Justin checked downstairs to make sure that everything was locked up, and all the lights were off, before they headed for their bedroom. “We’re so going to have to get those intercoms installed,” Brian teased once they reached their bedroom, “Otherwise our bedroom is going to look like command central.” He pointed to the two monitor receivers already on the nightstand. “I’ll email Gregory in the morning to look into it,” Justin finally agreed. “I think I’d also like to have a security fence put around the perimeter the property, with gated access,” Brian added. “I know we talked about it as part the original renovations before, but now with the move to New York, do you still want to do it?” Justin asked in reply. “I think we need it now more that ever. I know Thomas and Teres are here. But still I would feel better if more security were installed,” Brian pointed out. “I want you and Gus to be safe when you’re here,” Brian added, wrapping his arms around Justin from behind. Justin turned around and kissed Brian passionately. Brian felt his whole body yield to the kiss. “Justin, stop that…we’re getting in the hot tub!” he quipped. “Oh,” Justin said innocently with a smirk. They quickly undressed and made their way to their hot tub. Brian quickly lit the candles around the tub. He pulled out a bottle of Beam and two glasses and placed them on the side of the hot tub as well. “Well, now where did that come from?” Justin asked with a smile, carefully making note of all Brian’s romantic gestures. Justin thought back and realized that he and Brian had come a long way. “This has been quite a day, and I thought we might need a night cap,” Brian suggested. “Besides we can never celebrate enough the fact that we’re going to be equal legal partners forever and ever.” “I do like the way you think,” Justin agreed with a smile, leaning up to give Brian a gentle kiss. Once they were undressed, Brian stepped into the swirling waters and extended this hand to help Justin join him. They both submerged themselves under the water. The warmth of water made them start to relax. They immediately spooned together with Justin’s back resting against Brian’s chest. Brian willingly wrapped his arms around Justin. Eventually, they toasted themselves, and each of them took a sip of their Beam. “Ok, now that we’re here in the hot tub, what did you want to talk about?” Justin asked. “Now why do you think I have anything to talk about? We were here only yesterday. I think we covered everything before we signed the papers,” Brian said with a slight laugh. “And you haven’t had enough time to get into trouble, because I’ve kept my eyes on you most of the day.” “Well, that’s true enough, you only left me alone to talk to my mother, Emmett, and Ted,” Justin responded with a laugh. “Hardly time to get into trouble.” “I don’t know, with you I’m never really sure, Sunshine.” That remark resulted in Brian receiving a gentle swipe from Justin. *** While they were relaxing in the hot tub, Brian finally said, “Ok, I need to talk to you about something.” “Sure,” Justin replied, and held his breath. “I love the new painting that you did of me, but I have a confession to make,” Brian began and held his breath. “You, a confession?” Justin responded with surprise. “You said earlier tonight, that you wondered who bought your original sketch of me from the GLC charity art show. It was a long time ago. I never knew that you still speculated about it. I want to put your mind to rest. I know who bought that original sketch,” Brian said haltingly. “You do?” Justin asked. “Yes,” Brian said softly. “How did you find out?” Justin asked. Brian laughed, “Sunshine, I was the King of Liberty Avenue. There wasn’t much that happened on Liberty Avenue that I didn’t know about,” Brian pointed out. “Well that’s true,” Justin agreed. “Daph always thought it was someone, who was obsessed with you and just couldn’t resist buying an image of you.” “Daphne is very perceptive,” Brian said with a smile. “I always worried that some pervert or former trick had the drawing,” Justin admitted. “You were right to worry,” Brian said softly. “Was it Ted as you originally suspected?” Justin asked. “No, it wasn’t Theodore,” Brian said with a smile, remembering his accusation. “Isn’t it enough that now you can stop fretting about it.” “How is that?” Justin asked. “You can stop fretting, because I bought the drawing,” Brian easily admitted. “Why would you buy it?” “It was a beautiful drawing, Justin. I’d never seen myself that way. You saw something in me that no one else had ever seen. Of course, I wouldn’t admit it, but I liked seeing myself the way you captured me,” Brian started to explain. “You did?” Justin asked with some surprise. “Yes, so I bought the sketch,” Brian said matter of factly. “It was the first time any of my art sold ever sold. I was so excited. I never knew that you bought it. Did you buy it because you liked it or just because I drew it?” Justin had to ask. Brian let out a sigh, not believing where this conversation was going. “Sunshine, I liked it well enough to buy it. Doesn’t that say it all?” he finally asked. “I guess. What did you do with the picture?” Justin asked. “I have it at the loft,” Brian revealed. “How come I’ve never seen it?” Justin persisted in his questioning. “Because basically you were a stalker not a snoop. That and I have the picture well hidden,” Brian explained with a laugh. “Where?” Justin asked. “Does it matter? Isn’t it enough to know I have the drawing?” Brian said, hoping to close the matter…then he remembered he was dealing with Justin, so he just smiled and braced himself for the next question. “I suppose so,” Justin admitted reluctantly. “So does that mean you don’t want the new painting?” he asked. “Let me clear this up for you, Sunshine…you cannot have my painting back!” Brian insisted, making things very clear. “Oh,” Justin said, leaning back and kissing Brian. Brian just shook his head at Justin’s antics. “You know Gus is really thrilled about his painting too. I can’t believe that you also painted me on horseback in his painting,” Brian said on reflection. “I wanted you to see how stately you looked, and I wanted Gus to have a painting of the two of you riding together,” Justin explained. “Thank you.” “So are you ready for your riding lesson tomorrow?” Justin innocently asked. “Justin, you never said anything about a riding lesson tomorrow. That wasn’t part of my plan. How are we going to do that? We have guests,” Brian protested, feeling again that Justin was tampering with his grand design for things. “Well you and Gus are scheduled for a lesson at 3 o’clock tomorrow. Chuck is expecting you. Gus made me promise that he could go riding. So…” Justin insisted. “Okay, is there anything else that you scheduled that I need to know about?” Brian thought he’d better ask. If he was going to have to draft a new plan, he needed to know all the elements. “Not really. But…” Justin replied. “But?” Brian answered with concern. “I was thinking that we should invite Mel and Linds to come out to watch Gus have his riding lesson. Last time they were in town, they had plans. I thought we might invite them to lunch. That way they can spend some time visiting with Paul and Jason before you and Gus have your lesson,” Justin suggested. “I thought we’d agreed that you wouldn’t do planning. I thought we’d agreed that you would leave the planning to me. Didn’t we agree that this weekend, the only thing that you were to do, was lock yourself in the studio and paint, don’t you remember?” “I remember…” Justin said. “It was just a suggestion.” “Ok, I’ll think about it,” Brian finally agreed. “Thanks,” Justin said, leaning up to give Brian a kiss. *** They continued to relax in the hot tub. After a while, Brian casually said, “There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” “Sure,” Justin agreed, snuggling closer to Brian’s chest. “Tell me the story behind your new painting entitled, “The Secret”. I saw the painting in your studio when we were in New York.” “You did?” “And I’m most interested to hear the story behind the painting,” Brian continued. “I wanted to ask you about it while we were in New York, but there was so much going on the time was never right.” “And you think that now the time is right?” “I was hoping you would tell me, since we don’t have any secrets.” “I was upset after Spyder and I ran into Kip Thomas. I went back to my studio to think things through. I think better in paint…you know that.” “What was there to think about regarding Kip Thomas?” “Before I start, I need you to remember that this happened a long time ago,” Justin cautioned. “Ok. I understand that.” Brian said, holding his breath. “Tell me what the painting is about?” “Kip Thomas.” Justin felt Brian’s body tense under the water. “Brian? Did you hear what I said?” “I heard you.” Brian said quietly. “We’ve already talked about Kip Thomas when we were in New York. What more is there to say? Kip Thomas said that I promised him things for fucking me. I would never do that. Then he wanted me to put him up for a promotion that I didn’t think that he was ready for just because we were both gay and had fucked. I don’t believe in that either. When I refused, he charged me with sexual harassment. But he made the first move, and I only gave him what he wanted. I fucked him. End of story! Melanie represented me. Marty came in and told Melanie and me that the lawsuit had been dropped. No explanation. Life went on.” “Do you know why the lawsuit was dropped?” Justin asked. “No. You asked me that before. I had heard rumors at the club, but nothing too concrete. So it just remained an unsolved mystery,” Brian explained. “We talked about this, Sunshine, why are you bringing this up now?” There was a moment of silence between them. The only sound was the swirling and swishing of water. Justin was the first to break the silence. “Because I have to tell you something.” “What is it, Sunshine?” Brian tried to ask nonchalantly, but failed miserably. “I know why Kip Thomas dropped his lawsuit,” Justin said quietly. “You do? So you heard the rumors at Babylon too? There’s no need to repeat them,” Brian remarked. “No, I know the truth. Not the rumors,” Justin asserted firmly. “And how could you possibly know that?” Brian asked in a tone designed to simply humor Justin. “I saw him at Woody’s,” Justin began. “I recognized him from that time he visited you at the loft.” “How could you recognize him? You were never at the loft when he was there. I made sure of that, as I remember,” Brian said, searching his memory to be sure that what he said was the truth. “I hid on the stairs that day he came to the loft. I wanted to take a look at whom you were doing business with. You said it was business…I wasn’t sure,” Justin recanted. “I can’t believe that you remember back then…that was during your stalker phase. You were everywhere. I couldn’t get rid of you. You were a persistent little fucker,” Brian teased. “Yes, I was. You were so stubborn that I had to be,” Justin teased back. “Anyway, after he filed the lawsuit, I saw Kip later at Woody’s. I approached him. We started talking. He’d been drinking. He was so turned on. He wanted me,” Justin explained calmly. “Nothing new there,” Brian said, trying not to show his rising concern. “So I went home with him,” Justin admitted quietly. “You did what!” Brian said, trying to contain his feelings. “I went home with him,” Justin repeated nonchalantly. “Did you fuck him?” Brian had to ask. “No!” Justin responded firmly. “Did you let him fuck you?” Brian had to continue to probe, trying to hide any jealousy he was feeling in light of his own uncertainty. “No…never, but I did let him blow me,” Justin quietly admitted. “Justin, you were always free to fuck who you wanted BACK THEN. There were never locks on our doors you know that. So why are you telling me this now?” Brian asked, ready to end what he now considered a meaningless discussion. “I have a reason. I need you to listen. Are you listening?” Justin demanded. “I’m listening,” Brian acknowledged. And he was listening, for now Justin had his undivided attention. “I let him blow me, and he was in the middle of a blowjob, and I told him that he had to hurry because I had to go home because I had a curfew,” Justin began to explain. “And he believed you? He believed that line?” Brian asked incredulously. “I told him I was only 17. I told him I was underage. I told him my father had beat up the last man I’d been with,” Justin continued to recount the events. “Well, that part was true. Your father nearly broke my ribs. He nearly killed me,” Brian confirmed, while still trying to listen to what else Justin had to say. “Then I told him that my father had the last man arrested…that he wouldn’t be out of jail for ten years because I was underage,” Justin went on to explain. “And he believed you?” Brian asked in disbelief, knowing full well that 17 was the age of consent. “I looked young…I could be very convincing…I learned from the best,” Justin quipped. “Then what happened?” Brian asked. He was now fully engaged in what he was hearing. “Then Kip panicked. He got scared that he would be arrested. He begged me not to tell my father about us being together. So, I promised not to tell my father about him if he would do me one little favor,” Justin further elaborated. “And that was?” Brian asked just to humor Justin. “I promised not to tell my father…if he would drop the lawsuit against you,” Justin finally said, and then he held his breath for Brian’s reaction. He didn’t have long to wait. “You did what?” Brian queried in his most serious tone, while trying to control his anger. Justin added quickly in his own defense, “He was afraid of being arrested…so he dropped the lawsuit,” he tried to explain confidently, but he was already concerned about Brian’s reaction, since he could feel Brian’s anger every place their bodies touched in the water. “Justin, what are you telling me? Are you saying that you blackmailed him into dropping the lawsuit?” Brian demanded to know. “That’s one way of looking at it,” Justin tried to say innocently. “How do you look at it?” Brian was thinking to himself that this explanation had better be good. His only hope was that he could contain his anger long enough to hear the answer. “I looked at it that he lied…I merely used his own lying tactics against him. I was merely better at it,” Justin said calmly without remorse. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Brian now had to ask. “I didn’t see any reason to tell you. The lawsuit was dropped. You were okay, that was all I cared about. I didn’t do it to score points with you. I just wanted to help. I never wanted you to know. That wasn’t why I did it,” Justin tried to calmly explain the unexplainable. “Fuck Justin, it’s the thing with my nephew all over again!” Brian said, with anger flaring. “You had to get the evidence to get me out of that one too. Yes I know all about that. Carl and Debbie told me the whole story and your part in it,” he said, trying to get his temper under control. “I’ve got to be more careful about the things that I do. You can’t always be rushing in to rescue to me. It’s too dangerous, and you’re too fearless. That’s a dangerous combination! I want you promise that you won’t ever do anything like that again,” Brian demanded, holding onto Justin tightly “Brian!” Justin said in protest. “This isn’t a negotiation, Justin! I want your promise. I’m serious about this. You have to let me handle the stuff that I get myself into from now on,” Brian continued to demand. “That’s just it,” Justin went on. “There are some things that you are powerless to handle. When that happens, I have to step in and help. I love you, and I’m not going to let anyone destroy you. I’m not going to let anyone take advantage of you either.” “You can’t continue to do this, Justin!” Brian insisted. “You should talk,” Justin said, elevating his voice just enough for emphasis. “I wasn’t the one who hired private investigators to check on Spyder…so you might want to re-examine your own actions before you go any further,” he said firmly, before leaning back to give Brian a kiss that Justin was well aware Brian didn’t want at that moment. Justin felt he had made his point. He was now ready to change the subject. “Well it looks like I’m starting to wrinkle,” he said calmly, “So I guess our hot tub chat is over for the evening. You wouldn’t want me to get all wrinkled at my tender young age,” Justin quipped. “Age a little, and tell me why you decided to tell me this now?” Brian demanded to know. After all, these events happened five or six years ago. Brian had to wonder why Justin would suddenly tell him about this now. “You and Adam Lyons were going to go head to head over the account for Barrister, Wilkins & Evans. Spyder didn’t want there to be any skeletons that Adam could pull out of the closet to make you walk away,” Justin confessed calmly. “And if that had not been the case, you would have taken this story to your grave without ever telling me? You would have kept this secret?” Brian pushed for answers. “Probably…there never seemed to be a reason to tell you.” Justin admitted calmly. “Brian, it just didn’t seem worth discussing. It didn’t seem important,” he admitted, as a way of explanation. “Justin, I’m still waiting for you to promise me that you won’t do anything like that again. Promise me!” Brian demanded. “Brian.” Justin protested. “I’m serious Justin. I want you safe. I want you around for a long time. I don’t want anything to happen to you. So promise me that you won’t do anything like that again. Justin, I can’t go back to the long vigils at your bedside. I just can’t!” Brian persisted, explaining the reasons behind his demands. “What are you talking about?” Justin said with a laugh. “You’ve never done long vigils by my bedside. That’s not your style. So what are you talking about?” he patiently asked. “Never mind, it’s not important,” Brian said, realizing he may have said too much. “You let me be the judge of that,” Justin said sternly. “Now, what are you talking about? Tell me. Tell me!” he insisted, leaving Brian little wiggle room. “When you were in the hospital I kept a vigil….” Brian began but was immediately interrupted by Justin. “But the only time I’ve been in the hospital was after the bashing. Back then I dreamed that you came to visit me at night. But I would wake up, and it would be only a dream. You never came,” Justin admitted sadly. “I was there…every night. You weren’t dreaming. You would toss and turn all night. They couldn’t give you anything for the pain. I don’t want to watch you go through that kind of anguish again, Justin. So you have to be careful. You have to be safe,” Brian said with a certain quietness in his voice that seemed to be covering so much more. “Justin, you can’t keep doing this.” “Brian, I’m your partner. I’ll do what needs to be done to keep you safe. I’ll not sit idly by and let someone destroy you. I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” Justin said firmly. “You would have lost everything.” “I know that. I don’t know what I would have done both times if you hadn’t stepped in and saved me. But Justin, something terrible could have happened to you…both times. Things could have turned out differently…surely you see that,” Brian said, the concern evident in his voice. Justin turned around and lightly kissed Brian. “Nothing is going to happen to me. I’m always careful,” Justin proclaimed. “And I have you to protect me.” Brian couldn’t say anymore. He just wrapped his arms around Justin and pulled him tightly to his chest. Brian tried to find that words that would explain to his partner that it didn’t matter if he lost everything…as long as Justin was ok. Brian couldn’t find the words to tell Justin how much he needed him. He couldn’t say any of that. What he said, instead, while holding Justin tightly was, “And Justin, we have to end this thing of secrets between you and me.” Justin didn’t answer; he just wrapped his arms tightly around Brian, for Justin understood all that Brian was unable to say. And Justin quietly said, “I promise.” With that promise, Brian was now ready to help a very wrinkled Justin out of the hot tub. They extinguished the candles and wrapped themselves in heated towels. Brian and Justin made their way back to the bedroom. There Brian and Justin’s lovemaking was intense, as Brian tried to deal with all his feelings for Justin that were now right on the surface, and Justin tried to process how much Brian loved him for so long. They both learned a little more about the partner that they each had legally committed themselves to forever. And they both realized how much they really loved each other. And as they lay spooned together afterwards, Brian could still hear Ben’s words, echoing in his heart. “You are always strongest with Justin by your side.” And Brian knew, now more than ever, those words were so true.