Lois, thank you for the beta...you are the greatest!
Chapter 6 – Session 3 Thursday Afternoon…(Day 18) When Lindsay arrived at Elizabeth’s office for their counseling session, Melanie was already there deeply engrossed in a magazine. “Well hello stranger,” Lindsay teased, “Mind if I join you?” “I’d like nothing better,” Melanie responded, extending a hand to gently touch her partner. Lindsay accepted her hand, and Melanie could finally breathe. It was a small gesture, but one that Melanie needed at that moment. “You missed a chance for lunch with Justin. You should see him so grown up, so confident. He really is no longer that little kid.” “He hasn’t been that for a long time,” Melanie pointed out, quickly returning to her magazine, “Dealing with Brian Kinney tends to age people.” “Are you going to start that again, or do you want to hear about my lunch? Justin told me something that’s too funny for words?” “Ok, now that I’ve had my daily dig at Brian, I think I’m ready to behave.” “Our son has a date with a horse this afternoon.” “Oh? Are Brian and Justin taking Gus to the zoo?” Melanie commented nonchalantly. “Afraid not. It seems that Justin is at it again. Where does he come up with these ideas?” “Oh god! I’m afraid to ask.” “Brace yourself, Gus has his first horseback riding lesson today,” Lindsay said with a laugh. “Evidently there are stables near where Brian and Justin live, so they are taking Gus there to see if he likes horses. Now you understand, Justin has probably been riding since he was Gus’s age. I just want you to picture Gus and Brian dealing with horses up close for the first time.” Melanie immediately burst out laughing. “No! You’ve got to be kidding? Well, with that image, you just made my day!” “I suspect that you won’t have to hold that image for long. I suspect our son will give us all the gory details. This is probably the only thing that will get him to finally stop talking about his camping experience.” “Good point,” Melanie said still laughing. “Did Justin talk about his trip to Cincinnati?” “Only briefly, he’s going to be exhibiting at the Cincinnati Art Gallery for the opening of their new wing. But get this, he’s going to be the featured artist.” “Featured artist? Isn’t that like a solo show?” “Not quite. And, it’s not New York. But, I can tell you one thing I know, the critics and the press are going to be all over him. The opening of the new wing of a gallery is a major media event.” “Wow! Good for him. I bet he’s excited?” “You know Justin, he seems to take it all in stride, but he says that he’s looking forward to it.” “That is quite an honor, and Justin is still so young.” “I know.” “Did you get to see the house?” “No, but he promised to see what he could work out after talking to Brian. Knowing that Justin only has to bat his baby blues, and Brian will give him anything, I think we can safely say that our tour of the house is assured,” Lindsay teased with a smile. The door to the adjacent office opened, and Elizabeth appeared and smiled at the couple. “I’m glad to see you both,” she said. “Why don’t you come on in, and we can get started.” Melanie and Lindsay followed into her office and settled into their usual chairs. “I think we should continue with our discussion from yesterday. I know that you were both upset when you left here. You both sort of indicated that you wanted to have a chance to think things over before we talked about Melanie’s revelation yesterday. How do you two feel about things now?” Elizabeth began. There was a long silence. Melanie was the first to speak. “Let me start. Lindsay, I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you what I was feeling. As I said yesterday, I didn’t plan it out …” Lindsay interrupted, “That’s the problem right there. You don’t want to discuss anything with me until you have a plan…until you have thought it out in detail. Then you want to present your well-thought-out, well-analyzed plan to me. And you expect me to instantly accept or reject whatever construct you lay out in front of me. That’s just not fair!” “I’m sorry,” Melanie whispered. “Sorry’s bullshit,” Lindsay responded. “Now, you sound like Brian!” Melanie quipped. “Don’t go there! I hate it when you do this. It always feels like you’re running some game on me. I’m your partner, Melanie! I want you to share your feelings with me. I want you to tell me what you think before it becomes some plan, cast in concrete that is immutable. I want us to talk about things, even when we don’t have all the answers. I want us to muddle through stuff together. I want a chance to have some input into the plans that get made. It’s a simple as that,” Lindsay said resolutely, and then let the silence between them speak volumes. “Lindsay, I see that you have given this a lot of thought. Melanie, what are you thinking?” Elizabeth asked. “Elizabeth, our whole relationship has been built on a certain dynamic, where I crafted the plan, then we discussed it, and then we made decisions. Lindsay has always wanted to be taken care of like a princess. And in the context of this relationship that is what I have tried to do. I have no fucking idea how to change the entire relationship dynamic to do what she is asking,” Melanie explained with some frustration, for she now felt that things were once again hopeless. “I don’t want to be taken care of Melanie, I’m not a child. I’m a grown woman. But, how can I be that grown woman if information is being withheld from me to make an informed decision,” Lindsay protested. “So how long have you had these feelings about Michael and Debbie?” “I guess they started when Jenny Rebecca was born. You and I were separated. Then, we had the custody battle. Once everything was settled, I still felt smothered, but I couldn’t figure it out. Then everything with Proposition 14 happened…and the bombing. I didn’t take time to stop and think. I just reacted. I really did want to move for the safety of the kids, and I thought the kids would have a better life in Canada,” Melanie admitted. She stood up to start to pace for a bit before continuing. Lindsay patiently waited for her to continue. Melanie eventually returned to her seat, and then she continued, “Then Michael and Debbie started to visit us in Toronto. You know how Debbie fills a room. I started to feel smothered again. Then Michael told us about the defeat of Proposition 14, and I seriously thought about moving back to Pittsburgh. But then I started picturing the constant interference from Michael and Deb about how Jenny was raised. That isn’t how I wanted to raise my daughter. I want more for our daughter then that.” “I know how you feel. When you told me about your feelings, yesterday I was angry at first, because I do miss Pittsburgh. But then I thought about all you said, and understood that Debbie and Michael might not be the reason that we moved to Toronto, but they are a big part of why you want to stay there. I understood that you were doing what you thought was best. It just would have been nice to have been consulted because my life and Gus’s life were impacted.” “You’re right. I should have talked to you.” “You also made some stupid decision that you didn’t want Brian to visit Gus once we moved. You said that Gus needed time to adjust to the new city. What was the real reason behind that, Melanie?” Lindsay demanded. “I guess I was just desperate to control things in my own household. I know that it was selfish, because you are big part of things. I just wanted us to be a family without outside interference. And….” “That’s bullshit, Melanie! I’m not a big part of things. I’m your partner. We held a commitment ceremony! My status as your partner is something that you seem to forget. I am not just a big part things…I’m not one of the kids! And, you don’t get to make decisions about me without my consent! We need to make these decisions together. Maybe if we thought about these things together…we might have made better decision. You don’t always have all the answers!” “I said I was sorry,” Melanie said contritely. “Well you’re going to have to do more than that. You’re going to have to give up this power trip that you’ve been on. I don’t want to do that anymore.” “What are you saying?” “You made a decision. You placed consideration for your daughter over everything. You didn’t give a damn how I felt. You didn’t give a damn what was best for Gus. Once again, you only cared for what you wanted. You had to be in control of everything.” “I thought you wanted what I wanted. I thought you wanted us to have a chance to parent our kids.” “Melanie, Jenny is still a baby. But, Gus needs his father. You pulled him out of Pittsburgh just as he and Brian were getting close. You didn’t give a damn what was best for Gus. All you cared about in your plan was you and Jenny. And I went along with it!” Lindsay insisted. “Michael can be annoying and relentless. I know he loves Jenny, and I want him involved in her life, but I don’t want Jenny to grow up to be just like him. So, I want us to be able to raise our daughter as we see fit. After all, we’re her parents. But, I realize now that I was selfish. So this afternoon I had lunch with my one of the partners in my old law firm. I wanted to just explore with them the possibility of returning to the firm.” “How did it go?” “It will take a bit to put all the pieces into place, and it appears that I can go back, if we should decide to return to Pittsburgh.” “I see. So that’s where you went? You could have told me where you were going.” “I didn’t want to tell you until I had some idea what we were up against, and I wasn’t going to make any plans or decision until we talked.” “Well, that’s a start,” Lindsay huffed. “Mind if I say something here?” Elizabeth finally interjected. “A relationship is a dynamic beast. It grows and changes over time. Once upon a time, Lindsay may have wanted you to plan everything out…to make all the decisions. However, at this point, she just sat here and told that she wants something different. For starters she wants you to share your thoughts and feelings with her.” “I heard her. I guess I am a bit of a control freak,” Melanie admitted. “But hasn’t this been the source of many of your problems when you really stop to thing about it?” Elizabeth pointedly asked. “Haven’t you both failed to share your thought and feelings with each other?” “But Lindsay can be so stubborn sometimes,” Melanie said in her own defense. “And, I really do hate to argue.” “When you share your thoughts and feelings with someone else, they’re not always going to agree with you. That would be too easy! But at least each of you can know where the other stands, and you can go through the normal give and take to reach some sort of compromise. Does any of this sound familiar, Melanie? After all, you’re a lawyer,” Elizabeth explained. “Yeah, but I was not that kind of lawyer,” Melanie said with a laugh. “I was the kind that wanted it all. I’m the scrappy kind of lawyer.” “Well scrappy, unless you plan on being married to your job, you might want to reconsider your position,” Lindsay added with a laugh. “I’m not blind justice, I need things to be different.” “I’ll work on that,” Melanie finally said, after having a chance to think things over. “You won’t be alone. We’ll work on this together,” Lindsay said, leaning over to give her partner a gentle kiss. “Is there anything else that either of you wanted to talk about while you’re here today,” Elizabeth asked. Both Melanie and Lindsay shook their heads no. “Then, we’re going to stop here for today. I guess I will see you two tomorrow? As always, call my service if there are any problems during the night, and I’ll see you both here, the same time tomorrow,” Elizabeth proclaimed.